If we burn, we burn together
by EmilyHelena
Summary: Rose returns but she carries a secret with her and when the Doctor discovers it his world crumbles down around him. The solution might be too terrible to contemplate but the alternative would be too painful to bear. Both will be forced to make choices which have the power to either save the universe or burn it down.
1. Chapter 1 - A twist of fate

**\- This starts off right at the end of the third series, just as Martha Jones is about to leave. Always thought it took a tad too long for Rose to come back. I'm sure some of you will agree ;)**

 **To start it off I kind of used the framework for series four but it's not a rewrite. However, familiar faces besides Rose and Ten will be popping up as the story progresses, so keep a look out! Now just dive on in and I hope you'll like it. -**

 **Ps. It's been pointed out to me that this should maybe have an angst warning, so ANGST! *waves arms in the air* (it's really not that bad though) But you have now been warned.**

Chapter I - A twist of fate

"I'll see you again mister."

The Doctor watched as the girl turned around and walked away. Martha Jones, she'd saved the world without firing a single shot. Oh, he'd liked her. He smiled sadly. Just not the way she'd wanted. He turned back to the console of his beloved TARDIS. You're not going to leave me though are you, old girl? he thought just as the door opened and Martha came back inside for the second time. He stared in surprise at her.

"Doctor," she said, her voice hesitant. The look in her eyes stopped him short.

"What?" he asked, a twinge of worry in his gut. He really didn't like that look in her eyes. It took a while for Martha to answer.

"There's this girl," she said, pointing behind her.

"What girl?"

"This blonde girl, she..." Whatever else Martha said the Doctor heard none of it. His blood was rushing so fast in his veins he could hear it as a buzzing in his ears. He took a step away from the console, away from Martha. He couldn't keep doing this, he thought. He still saw her everywhere. Wherever they went he saw her as a reflection in a window or her smile on a random passerby. If he didn't stop this it was going to kill him. She was gone. Rose was gone and he was never going to get her back.

The Doctor shook his head to clear it. Slowly his hearing returned to normal. Martha was staring at him.

"Did you hear me?" she asked.

"No, sorry, what?" he asked, shaking his head one more time for good measure.

"The girl, she says she knew you," Martha repeated. The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Yeah.. um... what did she want?" he asked, trying and failing to sound casual. Martha looked at him worriedly.

"Just to give you a message," she said, hesitant again. She was looking at him as though she feared he would at any moment simply keel over. He went back to the console and flipped some random switch he wasn't even quite sure exactly what it did.

"What was the message?" he asked, not looking at Martha. The longest two seconds in history past while he waited for her answer.

"Bad Wolf."

The Doctor's head flipped around and he stared at her. "How do you know that phrase!?" he barked at her so harshly Martha took a step back.

"It's what the girl said to tell ya," Martha explained. The Doctor felt his heartbeats drumming away at an alarming rate inside his chest. He rushed past Martha and practically flew out of the doors. He looked around, scared and panicked and tragically hopeful. Then he froze. Because there she stood. Just a few yards away from him.

"Rose?" he breathed, a thousand different conflicting emotions colouring his voice.

She gave him a little smile. A smile he knew like he knew the shape of his home planet. And that is exactly what it felt like looking at her. Like coming home. He took a couple of steps towards her but stopped.

Her being here was impossible. She was lost to him. If she was here it meant universes were collapsing. She really couldn't be here, he thought.

Rose stood still, that small smile still about her lips. He had dreamed of their reunion a hundred times but never had she just stood there. Why was she just standing there? Rose? he mouthed silently. He took the last couple of steps towards her. He reached out his hand to her face, his eyes roaming over every angle, trying desperately to detect some inconsistency. Some flaw that didn't match with his memory of her, proving she wasn't real. But there was nothing. She was exactly as he remembered. Her hair was a a bit longer and her skin a little pale but other than that she was unchanged. His hand hovered inches away from her face. He didn't dare to close the distance, fearing his hand would pass through her. Just a shimmering mist, nothing but a ghost. "You can't be here," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I lost you."

Sadness filled her eyes as though she too relieved the memory of that day and all the empty ones that followed.

"Doctor..." A lonely tear spilled down her cheek. He brushed it away without thinking. He hated seeing her cry. Only after he had done it did he realise he had felt her. He could even now feel the tear against his finger. She wasn't mist. Not a ghost. She was here. Somehow she was here. He closed the distance and touched her face. Her skin was warm and alive and before he knew what had happened he had caught her up in his arms.

She threw hers around is neck, her fingers in his hair. "Doctor," she mumbled with joy. He held her fiercely to him. This was some kind of miracle. Some unbelievable twist of fate and at that moment he didn't care if she had broken time to get to him. He didn't care at all.

"Rose. My Rose." His fingers got tangled in the blonde stresses of her hair and she was clutching the labels of his jacket tightly in her fists.

"My Doctor," she whispered. The sound of her voice nearly broke him.

"Tell me how you are here," he mumbled into her hair, not letting her go. "Tell me how this is possible."

"Do I need to explain something to the Doctor?" she said with a smile in her voice.

"To be honest I'm not sure I care as long as you're real."

"I'm real," she assured him. "I'm real."

The Doctor let her go, finally pulling away. As much as he had missed just holding her, his eyes were equally starved. They roamed over every inch of her, taking her in.

"I'm not really sure," Rose told him. "The walls between universes, they're breaking down. I was able to slip through."

"But that must be something, something massive. I mean..." The cogs were spinning inside his head, possibilities being examined and rejected at an infinite rate. "Cataclysmic."

"I know."

Rose could see his mind running in a thousand different directions at once, trying to solve the puzzle. And it needed solving but right now it could wait. Rose caught his face with the palm of her hand and turned him towards her. Right now she just wanted him. That crazy man and his blue box. That was all she wanted.

"Doctor," she said. His eyes focused on hers and his lips spread in an amazing smile.

"Hello," he said. Rose smiled back at him.

"Hello," she replied, laughter bubbling out of her mouth. His eyebrows drew together in a sudden frown.

"How did you find me?"

"I didn't. Found the TARDIS," Rose explained, pointing at the familiar blue box behind him. The Doctor glanced back at his ship. TARDIS - Time And Relative Dimension In Space. His ship. But not only his ship. It had been his home since before the Great Time War. The war that had claimed his entire race and left him alone in the universe.

The Doctor looked at the blonde girl before him. She had made his life less lonely. She had made his existence not only bearable but fun. She'd saved him. He liked to think that every moment with her he'd lived to the fullest. But he knew he hadn't. Fear had always held him back. He couldn't make that mistake again. He had to make every moment with her count. How much time could he get with her? Fifty more years? Sixty? One minute? He had to make it count.

He gave her a smile. "She isn't an easy thing to track," he told her. Rose smiled impishly back at him, the tip of her tongue sticking out playfully between her teeth.

"It's easier if you know what to look for," she told him. The Doctor picked her up, clasping his hands around her waist and spinning her around. Rose gave a surprised yelp, that swiftly turned into laughter. He put her back on the ground.

"You clever girl, you," he told her, his whole face filled with the unbelievable happiness filling his chest. Rose glanced past his shoulder.

"So, who's she then?" she asked. The Doctor twirled around to found Martha standing there, staring at them. Martha gave Rose a sad little smile.

"No one," she said and turned away.

The Doctor put his arm around Roses shoulders and grinned.

"This is Martha Jones," he declared proudly. Martha stopped and glanced back at them, surprise in her eyes. The Doctor leaned down to Rose. "She saved the world," he told her. "All on her own."

"Well, not all on my own," Martha said, blushing. Rose left the Doctor and walked over to the pretty girl. She held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you Martha Jones," she said with a smile. "I'm Rose." Martha shook Rose's hand.

"Yeah, I kinda figured," she said. Rose glanced back at the Doctor who was smiling unabashedly. "Anyway, I should get back to my family," Martha reminded them. "I guess you two have quite a lot to talk about."

Martha Jones turned around and walked away, smiling a little to herself. There had always been that hint of fresh sorrow in the Doctor's eyes even when he'd been smiling and she had wanted nothing more than to wash it away. And she had tried, sometimes she even thought she had succeeded if only for a moment. But the minute he'd looked at Rose it was like the pain had never been there at all. He looked at her like she was the first rays of sunshine after a big storm. Like he couldn't quite believe she existed but couldn't be more thankful that she did. Martha glanced back at them one more time before she disappeared inside the house.

Rose spun around and headed back to the Doctor where he stood leaning against the TARDIS. He smiled as she got closer.

"The whole world by herself?" she asked him, smiling back.

"Yep, the whole world," the Doctor confirmed.

"She must have been quite something," Rose said as she sidled closer to him.

"Oh, she was brilliant."

"Then why is she leaving?" Rose asked. The Doctor shook his shoulders as though he didn't know.

"Other things to do," he said. "Take care of her family, finish med-school."

"She was going to be a doctor?" Rose asked in surprise. She was close now, inches away. The Doctor nodded in the affirmative, his gaze for a moment dropping from her eyes and slewing down her. When his eyes came back to hers she was smiling. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh, Rose Tyler!" He exclaimed, a big old stupid grin on his face. He clasped his arm around her waist and spun her, pushing opened the TARDIS door and depositing her inside. He closed the door behind them and flicked the lock.

"Did you just lock me in here?" Rose asked.

"If you think I am ever letting you out of this box ever again, you are sadly mistaken," he said with a mischievous grin. Rose backed up.

"Oh, and you think you can keep me here do you?" she asked, smiling that wonderful way of hers. The Doctor sauntered after her, hands in his trouser pockets.

"Weeeell," he said, drawing the word out. "I still have a few tricks up my sleeve," he assured her. Rose's eyes strayed from his and roamed around the room. The amazing, familiar room. Her eyes took in everything. The coral-pillars surrounding the edges, the grated floor, the round console in the middle of the room. She ran her hand along the edge of it. Hello again, she thought to the TARDIS. Missed you. The TARDIS seemed to hum in response. Rose smiled. "I think she missed you too," the Doctor said. Rose turned back to him.

"Really?" she asked with a smile.

"Who wouldn't miss you, Rose Tyler," he countered. Rose laughed and the Doctor thought it must be one of the most wonderful sounds in the whole world.

He came up to her and stopped right in front of her. He caught her eye as he fished his sonic-screwdriver out of his pocket. He began running it over her, the blue light flickering and familiar hum filling Rose's ears.

"What are you doing?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Making sure you are not a hallucination," the Doctor explained calmly.

"Can a hallucination do this?!" Rose asked, reaching around and pinching his arm.

"Ouch!" the Doctor exclaimed, offended. Rose scurried away from him before he had a chance to finish the scan. She couldn't let him finish it. She couldn't.

Rose danced around the console, staying out of his reach, the Doctor watching her.

"Oh, I missed this," she said with a sigh. "I missed this room, I missed this ship..."

"And me?" the Doctor cut in. Rose peaked out at him from behind the console.

"And you," she confirmed with a smile. He smiled back at her.

"Sooo," he began. "The walls between universes are breaking down?" he asked. He saw her nod as she ran her fingers lightly over the switches on the console.

"They are. We don't know why." She looked up at him. "Thought I better warn ya though. Whatever's going on it's not just happening to one universe it's happening to all of them."

"Sounds bad," he replied. She nodded. They watched each other for a moment, their joyous reunion temporarily clouded by the darkness looming from the future. But then the Doctor cleared his throat and flipped a switch on the console, the TARDIS coming to life.

"Good thing we have a time-machine then," he said with a careless smile. "Fancy a bit of running?" he asked. Rose smiled.

"Oh yes," she replied. There was nothing in the world she wanted more.

"Allons-y!"


	2. Chapter 2 - Starfire

Rose laughed as she closed the TARDIS door behind them.

"I never thought we were going to get out of there," she said. "I thought for sure she was just going to tie you up and keep you,"

"I'm sure it was funnier from where you were sitting Rose Tyler! I was terrified!" the Doctor exclaimed. Rose had to struggle to stop laughing. The queen of the Galactic Federation of Commerce and taken a shine to the Doctor and she had wanted to trade him for her rather impressive collection of life-sized porcelain figurines. "And you could have told her no a bit sooner," the Doctor pointed out. Rose sat down on the beat-up jump-seat. She smiled at him.

"I had to think it over. That was one amazing collection she had to trade. I was tempted." The Doctor sat down next to her. His shoulder brushed against hers. He leaned down towards her.

"You weren't really going to trade me though were you?" he asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Oh, I dunno," Rose mused. He gave her a playful push with his shoulder. Rose laughed but her laughter suddenly turned into a coughing fit.

Rose held up her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the coughing. The Doctor's hands came around her shoulders.

"You ok? Rose?" There was worry in his voice. "Rose?" She brushed his hands away, getting the coughing under control.

"I'm fine," she told him, taking a deep breath. "Just a cough." His eyes traced her face worriedly. "I'm fine," she insisted and smiled. "I'm not made of porcelain," she pointed out. The Doctor gave her a glare.

"Cheep shot," he told her and she smiled. She nudged him with her shoulder and eventually got a smile from him.

Rose jumped to her feet.

"So! Where are we going next?" she asked.

"There is just no stopping you is there," the Doctor said. "Not tired? I thought humans needed sleep," he pointed out.

"I can sleep when I'm dead," Rose said and the Doctor, just about to rise, froze for a second. He knew she was just joking but it was still a grim reminder that she would not be with him forever. The Doctor got to his feet.

"Where to then?" he asked her. Rose pondered. "How about this," the Doctor suggested. "...there was this burst of star-fire just off the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Beautiful, the whole sky just lights up."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Rose asked.

The Doctor smiled and ran around the console, pushing buttons as he went. He danced around Rose and she laughed at his silliness, loving every precious moment. When the Doctor wasn't looking she glanced down at her hand, seeing the hint of blood glistening in her palm. She wiped it away quickly on the inside of her pocket. The Doctor came over and took her other hand.

"We're here," he said and pulled her along.

Rose stumbled after him, giggling as she went. The Doctor pulled opened the doors and Rose drew in a hiss of breath in sheer awe. They hadn't landed. They were moving leisurely across the sky, everywhere around them the sky was on fire. It was like watching oil move over water, light catching in all the colours of the rainbow. The heavens were a glittering, shimmering cascade of starlight.

"What is it?" Rose asked, the awe clear in her voice.

"Bursts of light and energy shooting across the sky," the Doctor answered.

"Star-fire," Rose breathed.

"Yes."

"It's so beautiful,"

"Only ones through all of time and space does this happen," the Doctor explained. "Right here, in this system. It will never happen again." Rose squeezed the Doctor's hand. Her quiet way of saying thank you. The Doctor slipped his hand out of hers and snaked his arm around her waist. He pulled her against his side and she went easily, resting her head against his shoulder as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

"You promised me forever once," the Doctor said, his voice a little husky, a little hesitant. Rose buried her face against his shoulder, mumbling something in the affirmative. The Doctor took a deep breath, his hearts were beating too rapidly. "Does that still stand?" he finally managed to get out.

Rose was silent. For a long time she said nothing at all as they watched the star-fire blaze across the infinite sky. Then she raised her head and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes. Her beautiful hazel eyes and for a moment he was sure both his hearts stopped. Then she reached up her hand and ran it down the side of his face. Her touch was light. So light he could barely feel it.

"You have my forever," she said. "I promise."

She said it just as easily as last time. Like it was just the simple truth. But her eyes were a different matter. They were serious, intently focused on his. The star-fire sparked of her irises, reminding him of when she'd absorbed the energy of the time- vortex and saved his life. He'd been so close to loosing her then. And then he had. Lost her to a different universe. To time and space and circumstance. But now here she was. Right in front of him. Rose. His Rose.

The Doctor leaned down towards her and she rose to meet him before he could think to stop. The kiss was soft and hesitant at first, neither quite sure of being accepted. But when they both realised that neither was backing down from this moment all the walls they'd built came crumbling down.

The kiss transformed in an instant from a kindling into a blazing fire. The Doctor moved his hands around her waist. He pulled her against him. He heard her moan softly against his lips and he immediately ceased the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her hands came around his neck and ran up into his hair. Before he knew it he felt his back hit the TARDIS door. The handle dug into the small of his back and he couldn't even feel it. All he felt was her. Rose. She was everywhere around him, consuming his senses until nothing remained but her.

He took a hold of her and spun her around, trading their places so he had her between him and the opened door. He kissed her as though it was the first time just as much as the last, exploring with complete abandonment. Every move she made seemed to resonate somewhere deep inside him and in that moment he couldn't believe it had taken him this long to kiss her. He knew all the reasons. All the reasons he had told himself why he couldn't have her. All these things that now didn't seem to matter at all. Nothing mattered but this.

He pulled her with him as they stumbled inside, never once letting go of each other. Rose's hip hit the console. The Doctor picked her up and placed her on it and she wrapped her legs around him. Her fingers curled around his tie as she pulled him closer. They were loosing themselves in each other. Having being torn apart had reminded them of the limited time they had. Everything could be gone in an instant. The thought made their movements more desperate, clinging to this one moment with all they got. It was like fire burned in their blood, urging them on. Rose pushed the labels of his jacket apart and he let it slide off his shoulders and fall to the floor. She ran her hands across his back, clutching the material of his shirt in her fists. The Doctor practically tore off the grey hoody she wore, not able to get rid of it fast enough. He pulled her against him, needing to feel every inch of her.

Fire. Fire raging through them. They were lost. The world could have burned down around them and they never would have noticed. Rose felt something brush carefully against her mind. Something soft and tender. She realised it was him. The Doctor's mind brushed gently against hers and she was too lost to guard against him. Every touch, every caress suddenly became heightened. His tongue tangled with hers and the sensation went through her entire body like an electric charge through her blood.

The Doctor was mumbling something against Rose's lips but she had no idea what it was. Her mind could not seem to process the words. Rose was not a natural telepath like the Doctor. She had never been taught how to reach out with her mind or how to welcome another's. She moved on pure instinct, the need to be closer to him burning through every thought. Her mind seemed to be caught up almost in a dance with his. Swirling, twining, binding. Suddenly the Doctor clasped her wrists, hard.

"Stop," he growled, tearing his lips away from hers. "Stop..."

Rose froze.

The Doctor let her go as though she had burned him. He leaned his hands against the console on either side of her hips. His head fell to her shoulder, his breathing laboured. "I can't." he breathed. Rose felt his mind retreat from hers and her blood froze in her veins. She went cold all over. A mere second ago she'd been burning, feeling as though her very blood was on fire and now her blood ran cold. She pushed at his chest, now desperate to get away from him.

"Get off," she managed to get out, humiliation and hurt colouring her voice. One more push and he stepped back enough for her to get down from the console. She moved away from him, feeling tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She had to get out of there. She had to get out now.

The Doctor clasped her wrist, stopping her.

"Rose..." His voice sounded so fractured, so broken. She tore free of him. She saw her hoody lying discarded on the floor. She bent down and swept it up, not turning to look at him. "Rose, please," he pleaded.

"No, I get it," she mumbled, just wanting to get away. "You're right. I get it." She wasn't sure what she was saying even made any sense. She hurried out of the room before he could see the tears streaming down her face.


	3. Chapter 3 - Do you wanna leave?

Chapter 3 - Do you wanna leave?

The Doctor was at the centre console, setting coordinates. He hadn't seen her since yesterday. After the debacle during the starfire he'd gone to her room. He had stood outside her door for hours but he hadn't dared to go in. He had just stood there, his hand raised to knock but being too much of a coward to do it. He rubbed his fingers across his eyes.

What if after yesterday she wanted to leave? What if this was what made him loose her again? He felt his stomach twist into a knot and a painful pressure settled over his chest. He would never be able to bear that. Loosing her again would destroy him.

The Doctor straightened, a new sense of purpose filling his chest. He had to see her. Talk to her. Explain. He pushed away from the console and headed for the corridor leading out of the control-room. Halfway there he stumbled to a stop as Rose suddenly emerged.

"Rose," he released her name on an exhale. She was dressed casually in jeans and a simple blue top that made her hair look even more blonde. She was as beautiful as ever. "H...how are you?" he stuttered, running his fingers through his hair.

"Fine," Rose said casually, walking past him. "So where to?" she asked. The Doctor turned around and followed her back to the console. A memory of her sitting on that console, her legs rapped around him, her hair messy and her lips red from his kisses flashed ruthlessly through his mind.

"Rose..." he said carefully. He touched his hand to hers and she immediately drew away.

"Somewhere nice, yeah?" she suggested, moving around the console.

"Rose, we should... talk," the Doctor said, feeling like an idiot. Rose shook her head.

"I'd rather not," she said.

"I have to..." he began but she quickly interrupted him.

"It's fine. You don't need to explain. I'd rather we just never talk about it again," she insisted.

"Alright," he allowed, feeling not right about it at all. He pulled the screen over to where he was. "It never happened."

"Good."

"I thought maybe breakfast at the heart of the Delium belt," the Doctor suggested. Rose was staring at the buttons and leavers on the console, her vision swimming before her. She fought to stifle a cough but failed. The Doctor's eyes drew over to her.

"Still got that cough?" he asked. She nodded. "Are you ok?" He moved closer to her and she immediately drew away again. His hands fell awkwardly to his sides. "So now I'm not allowed to worry about your health?" he asked, a hint of bitterness in his tone. Rose looked up and gave him a glare.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "It's just a cough." The Doctor pulled his sonic-screwdriver out of his inner pocket.

"Here let me see,' he said gently. Rose flicked his hand out of her face.

"I'm fine," she repeated adamantly.

"Then there is no harm in letting me scan you," the Doctor pointed out, raising the sonic again and again she flicked it away.

"Leave me alone, Doctor," she hissed.

"Don't say it like that." There was suddenly genuine hurt in his eyes and she had to fight the urge to take it back.

"Say what?" she asked, trying desperately to hold on to her anger. She feared at the moment it might be all that was keeping her on her feet. Facing him after what happened had been even harder then she'd thought.

"Doctor," he clarified, mimicking her. "...like it's filthy. Like you can barely stand to have the word in your mouth."

Her eyes were hard as she looked at him and she refused to let them soften. He reached out his hand towards her face. "Rose," he breathed. When he spoke her name he spoke it like a prayer, softly reverently, savouring the feel of it. The exact opposite to the way she'd said his.

But Rose still drew away from him. "Now I'm not allowed to touch you at all, is that it?" he asked, anger slowly creeping into his voice. Rose shook her head.

"Just leave me alone," she repeated, her eyes on anything but him.

"How can I do that?" he asked, sounding as though he genuinely wanted to know. She looked up and glared at him, her eyes filled with tears born out of her anger.

"You seemed quite capable of it last night," she hissed. The Doctor fell back a step as though he had received a physical blow.

"Rose..."

"Don't," she warned. "Don't."

"If you'll let me...-" he tried again, moving towards her and she immediately drawing back. Having her shy away from him was like getting punched repeatedly in the gut. It made him sick.

"I said don't!" she interrupted him, holding up her hands as thought to ward him off.

"There are reasons..." he tried again. But she just shook her head.

"Of course there are!" she screamed at him. "There are always reasons! I just don't want to hear them!"

"But you have to let me explain," he insisted.

"I don't have to let you do anything!" she pointed out angrily.

"Rose, please I'm so-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

She turned and ran. It was all she could think to do. Running from him, from his words, from her own fear. Her fear that whatever his reasons were, hearing them would break her heart.

Rose ran through the endless halls of the TARDIS, feeling rooms and corridors shift around her until she found herself in the library. The fire in the hearth was lit and there was a steaming cup of tea on the table near the sofa, like the TARDIS had known she'd be coming. Rose ran her hands frustratingly through her hair.

"Trying to comfort me are you!" Rose called out to the room. "Well unless there is arsenic in that tea I don't think it's going to help!" she spat. She thought she heard the TARDIS hum sadly in response to her irrational outburst. She couldn't tell if the hum came from outside or if she heard it inside her head. Ever since Satellite 5 she'd thought she could hear the TARDIS sometimes. Or not exactly hear, feel her. But it was just a weak hint so mostly she'd discarded it.

Rose stared at the steaming cup of tea waiting on the table. After a few more moments of indecision she walked over and sank down into the comfortable leather sofa. She sat there, staring at the empty air before her. She should never have come here, she thought. She should never have found him. It had been a foolish thing to do. She was such a bloody idiot.

"Do you wanna leave?"

She froze at the sound of his voice. She turned around and saw him standing there, watching her. She sighed and turned back, the fight having gone out of her. She was mostly just tired. She didn't answer him for a long time.

"No," she said eventually."I promised didn't I?"

"It was different then," he said sauntering over to her, hands in his pockets. He sat down in a worn leather chair next to her.

"That was like twelve hours ago," Rose pointed out.

"A lot can happen in twelve hours," the Doctor countered.

"Yeah," Rose agreed. "I guess it can."

"I'll take you back home. If that's what you want. If you could get here I can get you back."

Rose shook her head, not sure what she was shaking it for. If she meant, no she didn't want to leave or if she was simply denying everything at this point.

"I don't know," she moaned and rubbed at her tired eyes, probably ruining her make-up, but not having the strength to care.

"Well, how about this then...," the Doctor began and Rose turned to look at him. "...we don't leave this room."

"What?" she asked, nonplussed.

"For this whole day, we just stay in. No life-threatening situations, even though I know you love those," he pointed out and Rose smiled a little, unable to help herself. "We just stay here."

For some reason that idea sounded awfully tempting.

"Won't you be terribly bored?" Rose asked. The Doctor looked over at her through the fringes of his messy hair.

"I could never be bored with you," he said, a serious timbre to his voice as though he was trying to tell her more than he was saying. Rose felt herself blush, even though she wasn't sure why. She coughed a little and straightened. "Ok, sounds good," she agreed. She took the still steaming hot tea from the table and leaned back in the comfortable sofa. "But if you want any of this you have to get your own 'cus this is mine." She burrowed down contentedly with a small smile on her face and sipped her Doctor watched her for a moment before he rose and left, presumably to get more tea.

He returned only a few minutes later carrying a tea tray ladened with biscuits and scones. He put it down on the table.

"Would you look at that," Rose said with a smile. "How domestic." The Doctor gave her a glare and held out the basket with scones.

"Only for you," he told her. She smiled a little and took one of the scones. They were still warm, though she had no idea how. She couldn't exactly see the Doctor standing in the kitchen and baking scones. Rose put plenty of marmalade and butter on it before she chugged half of it into her mouth at once. Her eyes drifted shut in rapture. Heaven, she thought. The Doctor was leaning back in his chair looking at her thoughtfully.

"Do you have a favourite book?" he asked.

"Haven't we known each other a little too long for twenty-questions?" Rose asked as she gobbled down the last of her scone.

"I was actually just wondering because I could probably find it in here for you," he said. "But now that you mention it..." He trailed off and Rose looked up at him. "How about an answer for an answer?" he said. Rose had to force the scone down her throat.

"You mean if you ask me something you must also answer it?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded.

"Alright, fine," she leaned back in the sofa and licked her fingers clean. "A little princess," Rose said. The Doctor looked comically lost for a moment. "That's my favourite book," she explained. "At least it was when I was little. I've not read it in years."

The Doctor shot to his feet. "A little princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett. Should have that one," he said and disappeared behind a bookcase.

"What about your favourite book?!" Rose called after him. His head appeared as he peaked out behind a bookcase.

"Harry Potter," he said. "Naturally."

"You're joking," Rose said.

"Something wrong with J.K?" he asked, sounding affronted. Rose shook her head vigorously.

"Oh no, just thought you would say Shakespeare or Sir George Huntington III the great writer of the twenty-third century or something."

"Who's George Huntington III?" the Doctor asked and disappeared behind the bookcases again. Rose sighed.

"No one, but you know what I mean." The Doctor emerged with a dusted old book in his hands.

"Actually, now that I think about it," he said. "I don't think I can pick just one. J.K's great. Love the magic and mystery of it all but Charles Dickens he was brilliant, Shakespeare too now that you mentioned him. And Agatha Christi!" he exclaimed in delight as he flopped down on the sofa next to her. "You know I met Shakespeare," he said.

"Of course you did." Rose rolled her eyes at him, but she doubted that he saw it.

"With Martha," the Doctor said thoughtfully.

"Right."

The Doctor turned to her.

"Oh, you would have loved him Rose," he said, a big smile spreading across his face.

"Well, I wasn't there," Rose pointed out, unable to mask the hint of bitterness in her tone.

The Doctor cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that followed her words. He opened up the book. Its pages were dusted and old but beautiful. It was a truly magnificent edition, with gold lettering on the spine, properly bound and with detailed illustrations inside.

"So you and Martha..." Rose began but the Doctor immediately cut her off.

"No," he said. He glanced up at her. "No one. Not since..." he trailed off not quite able to finish the sentence. Not since you. "What about you?" he asked carefully. She didn't answer right away. "An answer for an answer," the Doctor reminded her. Rose took a deep breath.

"I tried, with Mickey but..." She took another strengthening breath. "...I couldn't," she finished. The Doctor didn't comment as he turned back to the book.

"Alright," he said. "A little princess," the Doctor began. "Chapter one..."

"Hold on," Rose stopped him. "Are you going to read it to me?" she asked. "The whole thing?"

"Unless you object," the Doctor told her, raising his eyebrows in question. Rose shook her head.

"No," she said.

Rose settled back in the sofa with her tea and listened to the Doctor as he read one of her favourite childhood stories. Before long he had her laughing at the funny bits and tearing up at the sad ones. When she'd finished her tea she put the cup back on the table and flung her legs across his lap. He rested the book on her knees casually as though they'd done it a thousand times.

There had been some down time through the years but he had always been so careful. Because it was the quiet moments that were the hardest. In the heat of adrenaline and running it was easy to clasp her hand or pull her into his arms without it having to mean anymore than that he was simply happy to have her with him. But in the quiet moments he'd found it too difficult to keep that last line of defence up. And he'd had to keep it up.

The Doctor glanced over at her as she laughed at a passage he'd just read. It would be ok, he thought. When she had run away from him he'd feared he would never be the cause of her smiles again. But they would be alright. They had to be. Because he knew now that a life without her was only half a life and he couldn't go back to that. Not now. Not ever.


	4. Chapter 4 - If I dream of hell

Chapter 4 - If I dream of hell...

Rose smiled dreamily as the Doctor finished the story. She was lying with her head in his lap. She didn't know how long they'd been in the library. The whole day for sure. It was tricky measuring time in the TARDIS. She knew the Doctor could tell it down to a minute but she didn't quite possess that skill.

"Oh, I do love a good happy ending," Rose smiled.

"I usually don't read to the end," the Doctor said as he closed the book and removed his glasses.

"Why not?" Rose asked. He shook his shoulders.

"Dunno, just like to think the story goes on," he said.

"Forever."

"Yeah."

"Like you."

"I won't go on forever," he remarked thoughtfully after a while. "My day will come, eventually." Rose turned her face to the side, away from him.

"Yeah," she agreed. "When all the rest of us are long since ashes." The Doctor brushed a lock of her hair out of her face, his fingers lingering a moment at her temple. She didn't shy away from him this time but she squeezed her eyes shut for a second as though she was in pain.

"If I could keep you with me until then I would," he said. Rose sat up hastily. Shaking her head.

"Don't say things like that," she said, her back to him.

"Why not?" he asked, truly baffled. He'd told her the simple truth.

"Because it's a lie," she said. "You leave us behind. You always do. I should never have come back."

The Doctor clasped her arm and turned her around to face him.

"Don't say that," he told her, steel in his voice. "Don't ever say that. I don't care how much it will hurt when you..." he trailed off unable to finish the sentence. "Every moment with you will be worth it. Do you understand?" he said instead, his eyes insistent. Rose hesitated then reached up her hand and ran her knuckles down the side of his face. He closed his eyes, sighing contentedly.

"You think you'll watch me wither. That I'll die an old woman. That's what you're afraid of. That's why you leave us all behind," she said sadly. "But you wont." His eyes flipped opened and he stared at her. She should tell him, she thought. But then immediately discarded the notion. No, he couldn't know. He must never know. "This life," she said instead. "I'll die young, don't you worry." The Doctor clasped her hand, hard, anger flaring in his eyes.

"Don't you get it?" he hissed at her. "Loosing you made me realise. There is nothing worse... Nothing that compares too..." He was clearly struggling. "If I dream of hell..." he started over. "...it is a world without you."

Rose just stared at him. She had trouble getting enough air into her lungs and she felt lightheaded.

"I don't understand," she said in a small voice. "Yesterday..." she began but he shook his head.

"I can't be that for you," he said. "I just can't and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." his gaze fell from hers, landing on her hand that he still clasped tightly. "I wish things were different. But I can't. Not that. Not with you."

Rose had been right. There it was. His reason why they couldn't be together. And it broke her. Broke her heart to hear it spoken out loud. Not that. Not with her. Someone else perhaps, but not her. She gasped in a lungful of air, feeling as though none of it actually reached her lungs. Suddenly she was gasping, desperately. Then came the coughing. She pulled her hand out of his and put it to her mouth, trying to stifle the coughs. She rose to her feet, the Doctor rose with her. His hands came around her shoulders.

"Rose, something's wrong this isn't...-"

"I'm ok," she cut him off, wiggling out of his hold. "Really, this cold is just persistent." She turned away from him. More coughing. She felt it as the blood hit her palm, the coppery taste in her mouth. She clenched her hand into a fist and hurried away from him.

"Rose!" he called after her. But she didn't answer. She rushed out of the library, hurrying down the corridors until she got to her room. She pushed opened the door and stumbled into the bathroom.

Another coughing fit overtook her. Rose stared at her palm and the tell tale crimson stain. It seemed startlingly red against her pale skin. She spit the blood out of her mouth into the sink, turning the water on and washing away the evidence. Slowly she got the coughing under control. She washed her hands and caught her reflection in the mirror. She was pale but forced a smile to her lips because he couldn't know. The Doctor couldn't know.

She stepped out of the bathroom and started as she found him waiting for her outside. His face was hard.

"Are you going to tell me?" he asked her, his voice dark. Rose gave him a tremulous smile.

"What you mean?" Rose asked back. He took a step closer to her.

"Something's wrong," he insisted. "Tell me what it is!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop lying to me Rose!"

"I'm not lying! I'm fine!"

"Fine hu?" he hissed as he took another step closer to her. She held her ground. He clasped her chin in his hand. His finger brushed against her lips, sending a shiver down her spine. He held the finger up for her to see.

"You missed a spot," he said. There was the faintest hint of blood, evidence of her lies.

Rose turned away from him but he clasped her wrist stopping her.

"You never really told me how you got here," he pressed. "You never talk about your family and I didn't push because I thought you would tell me when you were ready." His grip on her tightened. "You owe me an explanation Rose." She tore free of his hold.

"It's nothing." She walked past him, heading for the door. But then he was in front of her. Rose stumbled to a stop, backing away. He followed her. Stalking her until her back hit the wall and there were simply nowhere else to run. Darkness moved in his eyes. Fury rising to the surface. The sonic- screwdriver was suddenly in his hand. He flicked it on, shining the light in her face. Rose clasped his hand, trying to stop him.

"Stop," she begged. "Just don't. Please." There was a snarl to his lips. He was angry with her. He moved closer.

"You are going to let me scan you," he told her. Rose shook her head, her eyes fixed on his.

"No point," she said.

"And why is that?"

Rose took a shuddering breath. She looked up into his dark eyes, feeling her own well up with pain. She had never wanted to hurt him.

"Because..." she trailed off, finding it impossible to tell him. How could she explain that she'd only come back to bring him more pain? That what she'd done had been the most selfish thing she had ever done in her whole life. She could have stayed on that alternate world and he could have been blissfully ignorant of her fate. But when she had discovered that she had a chance to see him again she had taken it without thinking. She had never stopped to consider what this would do to him.

 _If I dream of hell it is a world without you_

"Because..." she tried again. "...I'm dying."

His hand dropped, the screwdriver falling out of his limp fingers.

"I'm dying," she repeated. The Doctor stumbled back a step.

"No," he breathed, shaking his head in mindless denial. "You can't be." Tears were beginning to spill down Rose's cheeks when she saw the agony burning in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered so quietly she doubted he heard her.

"What happened?" he asked, refusing to look at her. Rose leaned back against the wall, finding she did not have the strength to hold herself up.

"There was an incident," she began.

"An incident?"

"The fabric of reality was unwinding. The walls were weakening. Our version of Torchwood. They built a machine. It used alien tech. It was supposed to strengthen the walls. We thought it must had something to do with the void. Like it was leaking in. We didn't know what we were doing... But everyone was scared. "

"Let me guess. It blew up in your faces," the Doctor said darkly.

`'It did. It created a time loop. Everything within a ten mile radius kept repeating."

"And you offered to go in and fix it." He glared at her and Rose nodded.

"Yes. The core was spilling radiation. It's destroying my cells. But I managed to shut it down."

"And did it work?"

"Yes, whatever was happening it halted ever so slightly." Rose took a deep breath. "But the walls were still weak enough. I could get through if I wanted." Rose leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "I wasn't going to come here. I wasn't going to find you but... I just wanted to see it all again... before..." she trailed off.

The Doctor was suddenly in front of her. He clasped her arms in a vice like hold, startling her.

"You should have told me," he insisted. "I can fix this," Rose shook her head sadly.

"You can't. There is nothing to fix. I'm dying."

"No," he insisted. "There is a way! I'll find it! I'll find it if it is the last thing I ever do."


	5. Chapter 5 - Burning down the world

Chapter 5 - Burning down the world

The Doctor was relentless. They went everywhere. So far into the future the universe was no longer recognisable. He took her to the furthest reaches of space, followed every hint of a lead. Word spread throughout the stars of the lonely god trying to save the dying girl he loved. But there were no answers. The poison in her veins were destroying her from the inside. There was no cure because there was nothing to save. Too many of her cells had already died. Had died instantly when she had stopped that explosion. Rose knew there was nothing to be done and she knew that he did too. But he didn't stop. Not for one moment. And the breakneck speed at which they were going were tearing at her. She was constantly coughing up blood, sometimes she was to weak to even stand.

All she had wanted was one last adventure with him. But there were no glorious new skies, no spectacular new worlds. It was only him running, trying to catch something that wasn't there. He hardly ever spoke to her, never even looked at her. Her dream of seeing him one last time had turned into a nightmare and it was killing her faster than anything else would have.

"Let's just go," Rose pleaded, her voice weak. The Doctor shook his head, his eyes focused on the strangely beautiful boy before him. He looked like a young boy, no more then six or seven years old. But he wasn't. His eyes had that look that the Doctor had, ancient and timeless all at once.

"Tell me what I want to know!" the Doctor spat. His patience with the boy was wearing thin.

"What you ask is not what you want," the boy replied in a sweet melodic voice. He sat crosslegged on a tree stump, looking curiously at them.

"How would you know what I want," the Doctor snarled.

"Please," Rose tried again, she tugged at his arm, urging them to just go. The whole place was scaring her. The boy was sitting in a glade, by first glance it was a beautiful one. Green grass, flowers, towering trees overhead. But when you looked closely you could see rot in the trees that created skull like holes in the bark, blood stained the petals of the flowers and insects crawled around the boy's feet while shadows moved just out of their field of vision, snarling in the dark.

The Doctor pulled free of her hold. Rose stifled a cough and she saw the Doctor's shoulders tense up at the sound.

"She understands," the boy said in his strange, sing-song voice, nodding his head in Rose's direction. "She knows she doesn't want what you ask, Time Lord."

"I don't care," he said. That got the boy's attention. He regarded the Doctor with curious, purple eyes.

"Truly?" he asked. The Doctor said nothing but Rose saw his hands ball into fists. "You don't care whether the girl wants to live or not?"

"She does. I've never met anyone who valued life more than her. She wants to live."

"Have you asked her?" the boy wondered, tilting his head to the side as he regarded them.

"I don't need to. I know her," the Doctor insisted. The boy turned his purple eyes to Rose. He gave her a smile as though they shared a secret. Rose felt her stomach twist into a knot. She didn't like that look. She didn't like anything about this.

The boy's eyes turned back to the Doctor. His smile turned vulpine.

"Very well," the boy said. The tips of his fingers were covered with bits of metal. He removed the thimble-like covering from one finger and held out his hand. His fingers were stained black.

"What is the price?" the Doctor asked. The boy continued to smile.

"No price you can't part with, Time Lord. There are prophecies that bespeak of this. Words I think you know. Seeing whether you will fulfil them will be payment enough." The Doctor hesitated only for a brief moment before he took one step and held out his hand, touching the tips of his fingers against the boy's. Rose watched in horror as the boy's touch slowly coloured the Doctor's veins black. The Doctor screamed out in sudden pain. It ran up his arm, up his neck and into his mind. Rose gasped and lounged for him. But just like that the contact broke. The black vanished from the Doctor's veins. He fell to his knee, his breathing heavy. Rose clasped his shoulders.

"Doctor?" There was a hint of panic in her voice. She glared up at the boy.

"What did you do to him?!" she growled.

"Gave him what he asked for," the boy replied simply. "And took a little something in return." Rose turned back to the Doctor.

"Are you alright?" she asked. "Doctor?"

"I'm ok." She helped him back to his feet. The Doctor looked at the boy.

"Thank you," he ground out, not sounding overly thankful. The boy gave him a nod, his smile wicked. The Doctor clasped Rose's hand in a vice like hold. "Let's go," he told her.

They made their way out of the forest and back to the TARDIS. The Doctor hurried inside.

"We need to get out of here, now," he said. He focused on the controls. The familiar whining noise signalled their departure from the Forests of the Damned. The Doctor had explained it hastily to her when they'd landed. How the whole planet had been a desert landscape and about the entity that had been banished there for crimes to great to speak of. But the entity hadn't died there as it should have. It had thrived. Thrived and shaped the whole planet to its liking. But Rose had never expected it to have the shape of a child.

Rose made her way slowly over to the Doctor. She leaned against the console to help keep her on her feet. She was tired, so tired.

"What happened?" she asked him. "What did he do to you?" It took a while before he answered.

"He showed me where we need to go."

"And where is that?"

He was silent for such a long time she thought he wouldn't answer her at all.

"The Oracles," he finally said.

"For when the Oracles are asked the last will sacrifice all for the sake of one."

The Doctor looked up at her, sudden fear in his eyes. It was a look she didn't see very often. It scared her.

"How do you know those words?" he asked, there was a tremor in his voice. Rose's eyes narrowed in confusion. How did she know them?

"I...I..." she stuttered. He took a step towards her.

"How do you know?!"

"I don't know. I..." The Doctor clasped her wrist with urgency.

"How!?"

"I don't know. It just popped into my head." Rose put her hand over his. "What is it? What does it mean?" He pulled free of her, running his hands frustratingly through his hair, messing it up.

"It's a prophecy. An old one. It's from my home- world. It's from Gallifrey."

"But that's impossible. How could something from your world be inside my head?"

"Because you saw it. Maybe only for a moment but you saw it. You must have."

"I don't remember..."

"Try Rose. It might have gotten locked out of your head but you must know!"

Rose rubbed at her tired eyes. "I don't know, Doctor alright? It doesn't matter... it..." Suddenly he was right in front of her. He clasper her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

"It matters Rose! Because that one line tells of the end."

"What end?"

"The end, Rose."

"How many ends have there been prophesied about by now, Doctor?" Rose pointed out. "How many have you stopped or averted somehow?" He let go of her.

"This is different." The Doctor rubbed his forehead as though he was getting a headache.

"How is it different?" Rose blinked to focus her vision, it was swimming before her. She was getting weaker. He turned back to her.

"Because I was the one who made it."

Rose clasped the edge of the console to steady herself again. She was getting dizzier. She could taste the blood in her mouth. She shook her head.

"I don't understand," she said, trying to make sense of what the Doctor was telling her.

"When Time Lords are young they are made to stare into the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality. A point from were you can see the whole of the vortex," the Doctor explained. "Some go mad and some..." He took a deep breath, struggling to continue, to tell her it was all over. "I saw those words. I saw me ending everything. It's why I've been running all my life." He twirled back, his eyes filled with pain as he looked at her. "But for you to know it. It means you are the catalyst. You were always meant to be the catalyst."

Rose tried to focus her eyes on him but instead she felt her legs folding under her. She saw the Doctor reach out towards her as she went down. Her knees hit the grated floor just as he caught her.

Rose was looking up at him from the floor of the Tardis. She could see the familiar ceiling behind him, the wires hanging loose. He was calling her name. It was a distant echo. Nothing but an echo. The world was slipping away from her or perhaps it was she who was slipping. It didn't seem to matter because he was with her. It was all she had wanted. Just to be with him. One last time.

"Rose..." He was holding her in his arms and her life was bleeding out between his fingers, like trying to hold water in your hands. "Please, Rose..." He brushed a lock of her blonde hair out her eyes. She was cold. So cold. "I can't go through this again. I can't... don't make me, I beg you." Rose reached out her hand, her fingers grazing his cheek.

"I can feel you this time," she whispered so low he could barely hear her.

"I'm begging you Rose, just stay with me. You promised. Do you remembered that, you promised me." She gave him a weak smile and he saw the blood staining her lips. It was like all the air was ripped from his lungs. He couldn't breath. Couldn't think.

"It's alright." She was saying it was alright. How could she say that? Nothing was alright. Nothing would ever be alright.

His hold on her tightened, desperately trying to keep the water in his hands. Her fingers brushed against his lips, reminding him of all the things they'd never done. All the things he had never told her. He had promised himself when he'd got her back that he was going to make it count. Every moment, every second. But he hadn't. He'd been too afraid and the minute he had found out she was dying he'd panicked, the fear of loosing her taking over everything. Dominating his every action. He'd even gone to the Forests of damnation. Nothing good ever came out of going there. And nothing had. He knew where to go and going there could destroy everything. It's what he had feared most all his life. He tried so hard to save everyone and in the end he would be destroying far more than he ever saved.

Her fingers fell from his lips, her eyelids fluttering shut. He could feel her slipping away. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching into fists. Then one single word shone bright inside his mind.

No.

No. He wasn't going to loose her. Not without trying. He wasn't going to sit here and just let her life bleed out of her. Going to see the Oracles would do nothing. They had no real power. All they could do was give him an answer. What he chose to do with it was up to him. And prophesies were all about interpretation. It didn't have to mean everything would end. He had to try.

The Doctor laid Rose down gently."Hold on," he whispered. He got to his feet, looking at his beautiful TARDIS. "You have taken me so far," he said. "Now I just need you to take me a little further."

He made the calculation as best as they could be made. The last bit he would have to fly by hand. It might even rip the ship apart but he really hoped it wouldn't. He would have to go far and nowhere at all at the same time. That was where the Oracles existed. "Don't let me down," he whispered and flipped the switch.

The TARDIS roared to life. She broke through every barrier, travelled through the Time-vortex at blinding speeds. The Doctor took over the controls, struggling to keep the TARDIS on track. Explosions were going off, sparks raining down from above his head. The entire ship shook violently. The Doctor desperately clung to the console. His gaze flickered for a moment to Rose, lying on the floor. Any more shaking and she would get hurt. Worse. Faster and faster they went. We can do this. The Doctor sent a desperate thought to the TARDIS. Come on girl. He grabbed one of the levers. He had to wait until the exact moment. A sudden shake made him loose his grip. He was flung to the grated floor, hitting it hard. He saw Rose being tossed to the side, hitting the railing at the edge. He growled with the effort and used the console to pull himself back up. He reached for the lever. He had to pull it now. Now!

The Doctor stretched as far as he could and finally his fingers closed around it. He pulled it down. The TARDIS made a grunting noise. Sorry, he thought to her. More sparks rained down from above, one of the wires broke from its fastening in the ceiling and dangled down as the ship shook again. The Doctor ground his teeth together. Please, he thought. We can do this. The TARDIS but on a final burst of power and they tore through the vortex faster than ever before until finally they were not moving at all.

Everything was suddenly absolutely still. An unnatural silence settled over the room. It was like the very fabric of time froze. The Doctor scrambled over to Rose where she lay on the hard metal floor. He turned her over. She was still out. But she was still alive. For a moment he let his forehead rest against hers, gathering his strength for whatever was coming next.

He looked up, sending a silent thank you to his beautiful ship. Then reached down and picked Rose up from from the floor. He slid one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and lifter her up.

"It's gonna be alright," he whispered in her ear, not sure she could hear him anymore or if she was too far gone. He carried her out of the TARDIS.

Beneath his feet were black marble, except he knew it was not marble at all it was the building blocks of the universe. The most basic of matter on which all else was created. He carried her across the empty space, blackness all around until he felt he should stop. He laid her gently down on the floor. Her face looked peaceful, he thought. He bent down and kissed her forehead before he rose to his feet.

"The last of the Time Lords." One voice and a thousand voices echoed through the empty space. "We have been waiting and not waiting." It sounded as though the voices were all around him at the same time as though they might just be inside his head. "For both you and your wolf."

"You knew we were coming." It was a statement not a question.

"We know everything and nothing," the voices replied.

"That sounds problematic," the Doctor observed, trying to focus on the voices and not the girl dying at his feet. He had to keep his head straight. The Oracles could be tricky things.

"Philosophy of mortals is not why you are here," the voices reminded him.

"No, it isn't."

"Are you going to ask us, Time Lord? Knowing what would happen should you do?"

"Oh, I imagine the asking will do nothing but rather what I do with the answer."

A sound like a million twinkling bells rang across the space. He realised it was laughter. The Oracles laughing.

"Clever child," the voices laughed.

"Guess I've been called worse things." The laughter died out in an instant.

"Your Bad Wolf is dying Time Lord make your choice." Clearly their patience had run out, if they even possessed such a thing.

"How do I save her?" he asked, his voice hard and determined. He had made his choice.

"You already know how to save her," the voices replied. The Doctor felt anger boil up inside his chest.

"What do you mean I already know?!" he spat. "Do you honestly think I would have come all this way if I already knew?!" he screamed into the empty space.

"One question. One answer," the voices echoed ominously.

"Rose is dying and you think I already know!" Fury was rising inside his chest. The fury of a Time Lord. He would tear this place down if he had too. Anything to get the answer he needed. He was not going to lose her. Not again, not ever again. He didn't care what it took or what he had to sacrifice. She was not going to die. "Tell me how I save HER!"

"You already know," the voices repeated. "Child of Gallifrey."

He felt them leaving. The empty space was suddenly just a little more empty. He would receive no more help from them. He screamed out all his fear and anguish as he fell to his knees next to her. Child of Gallifrey. It echoed through his head and suddenly he understood. No. His hearts broke. Both of them.

"She's human!" he screamed even knowing he would never get an answer. "It would kill her! All that energy! It would destroy everything!"

The Doctor looked down at Rose. Lying so still. He took her hand. Her pale, cold hand and raised it to his lips. "This is the choice then," he whispered. "Sacrifice all for a chance to save my one." He looked down at her face and remembered a moment when he had been faced with a choice much like this one. In that moment he had chosen one thing. To believe in her. If he had a religion, religion to him was this girl. This one amazing human being. Stronger than anyone else he'd ever met.

He let go of her hand and picked her up. "Rose," he urged. "Rose, open your eyes. Open your eyes Rose." He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek, sending a little spark to her mind. "Open your eyes." Her eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes delicate like the wings of a butterfly. "Rose." Her eyes drifted closed again. He put his forehead against hers, his arm all that was holding her up, her body limp. "Trust me," he whispered. "Trust me." Then he put his lips to hers.

He had dreamed of this. It would be a lie to say he hadn't. A thousand lonely nights he had dreamed of her. Holding her. Allowing himself to love her without fear. This was everything he'd dreamed in the shape of a nightmare. He loved her. Loved her with the power of a thousand dying stars. And now she was here, in his arms and every perfect touch was edged with a terrible knowledge. The knowledge that the love he felt for her would most likely burn her and everything else with it.

"Please," he whispered against her lips and kissed her again. She stirred.

"Doctor," she mumbled. He put his mouth near her ear and told her his name. His true name. The one he was given not the one he chose. No one alive but him knew it anymore save her. She would know it. She deserved to know it. He wanted her to. Even if their lives were snuffed out in a moment. She would know his name.

The Doctor's lips found hers again, urging her to kiss him back. "What are you doing?"Rose mumbled. Her mind had slipped further than he'd thought. He had to get her back. He reached out his mind towards hers.

"Rose, trust me," he whispered. "Just trust me." He kissed her again, letting his mind caress hers until her lips responded to the pressure of his. He had a fleeting touch of guilt, knowing she wasn't quite aware of what was happening and certainly not what it would mean in the end. But he pushed the feeling back and focused solely on the girl in his arms. This one thing that was more important than anything and everything.

He held her closer to him, kissing her as though he'd been starving because he had. He had missed her before he even knew her name. This was always were they were going to end up. Burning together and burning the world with them.


	6. Chapter 6 - Betrayal

Chapter 6 - Betrayal

Oh, good lord my bloody head, was the first thought that ran through Rose's mind. She opened her eyes. She was staring up at the ceiling in the TARDIS. She moaned as she moved, her body objecting to the hard metal floor she was lying on. It gave her a strange feeling of deja-vu followed by horror. Last time she had woken up on that floor the Doctor had ended up changing, regenerating. She shot up to her feet, twirling around, searching for him. She found him leaning against a pillar, watching her. She felt a wave of relief as she saw that familiar face.

"You're alright," she breathed with obvious relief. He straightened.

"Are you?" he asked, his gaze roaming over every inch of her.

"I think so," Rose said. She looked herself over. She looked the same but something felt slightly off. The Doctor walked up to her.

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked. She noticed a sliver of fear in his eyes. She thought back. She remember standing right where she was standing now. She had felt faint. They had been talking about something.

"I don't...Did I pass out?" she asked. He reached up his hand and ran it down the side of her face an inch away from her skin. Somehow she could still feel his touch even though he didn't actually touch her. A shiver ran down her spine.

"You don't remember." It sounded like half a statement and half an accusation. Rose shook her head. The fear in his eyes turned to pain. She caught just a hint of it before he turned away.

"What happened?" she asked, chasing after him around the TARDIS. "I don't feel sick anymore. What did you do?" He flipped a couple of switches on the console.

"Fixed you o'course," he told her and gave her a confident smile, every shred of pain she'd seen blown away. "Don't tell me you ever doubted me?" She gave him a hesitant smile back.

"But how?" she asked.

"Oh, it was nothing," he brushed the question off. "Just a bunch of technical mumbo jumpo, timey whimey stuff." She regarded him suspiciously.

"Alright, " she said, feeling slightly put out. She hated when he didn't even try to explain something. "But are you saying I'm fine?"

"Fit as a fiddle," he confirmed. He took another lap around the TARDIS, flipping switches as he went. "So, anywhere special you wanna go?" he asked. She was silent for a long time, until finally she said,

"Home."

He stopped. "Home...?"

"Yeah, my family you see they think...when I left they..."

"They thought you weren't coming back," he finished for her.

"I don't know if we can still get through. Could you check...I..."

"Yes, of course."

After extensive testing the Doctor deemed it safe enough to travel through without any serious repercussions. She could tell the reason for the walls having been weakened troubled him. Something massive, he'd said. It would take something massive to weaken the walls. They used the TARDIS to get through. Rose looked up at the Doctor as the TARDIS quieted down.

"Are we there?" she asked. He nodded. She turned around and rushed out. He had parked the TARDIS inside her room at her parents house. The grand house her father owned. The father she had lost as a child and miraculously gotten back. Just then the door to her room burst opened and her mum stormed in. For a moment she just stood there, staring from the TARDIS to her and back again.

"I thought I heard..," she breathed in utter disbelief. "How?" Rose threw herself into her mother's arms.

"I'm alright mum," she said. "He fixed me."

"He fixed you? The Doctor fixed you? How?" Rose pulled away, a big smile on her face.

"Does it matter? I'm here I'm fine. Where's dad? And Mickey? I've got to..."

"Slow down Rose," Jackie urged. "Your father is at Torchwood working and so is Mickey."

"Then I'll just go there I'll..."

"Your mother's right Rose. You need to slow down." The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS. Jackie looked over at him.

"You saved my daughter," she said. the Doctor swallowed audibly. But gave a slight nod. "Thank you," Jackie said with true sincerity. "Thank you so much." He nodded in acknowledgement. "Some tea perhaps," Jackie exclaimed with predictable delight. She hurried out of the room.

Rose was about to follow when the Doctor clasped her hand, stopping her. Rose felt a tingle like electricity run up her arm from where he touched her. She gasped in surprise. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling but it was... overwhelming.

"You can feel that?" the Doctor asked, a hint of surprise in his voice. He ran his thumb back and forth across the heel of her hand. It was dizzying... euphoric.

"How are you doing that?" Rose breathed. Her eyes drifted shut. She was loosing herself in the sensation of his touch. Something flashed by behind her eyes. A dark room, hands against her skin, lips against hers. Abruptly the Doctor let her go. Her eyes flipped opened and it took her a moment to regain her equilibrium. "What was that?" she asked, utterly confused. The Doctor walked past her.

"Come on," he said. "Time for tea."

Rose shook her head in an attempt to clear it. She felt lightheaded and so very confused. She ran her hand up her arm, feeling the fading imprint of another's hands. She struggled to clear the image of that dark room but it was slipping away from her like a dream. Is that what it had been? A dream? Instead of focusing her mind she let her mind go. Let it wander where it may in the hope that it would find its way back to that room. But that is not where her mind went.

It went everywhere. Everywhere at once. Rose gasped as images old and new and never lived spilled out behind her eyes. A thousands different possibilities to a thousand different choices. She lost her balance and fell to her knees as though the floor beneath her had shifted. She opened her eyes and stared at her hands. Light was moving beneath her skin. Golden, dusted light. She squeezed her hands tightly into fists. She had to keep it in. Instinctively she knew she had to keep it in. But she couldn't. It was all too much. The world was spinning, turning, rushing at a blinding speed through the galaxy. Unbelievable pain pierced through her head and she screamed.

The Doctor twirled around as he felt her go down. He ran back up the stairs and crashed into her room to find her on the floor, writhing in agony. No, no, no. He rushed over to her, falling to his knees next to her. He pulled her into his lap. She was shaking, her body going into shock. He brushed her blonde hair out of her face, touching her skin wherever he could. He marvelled as the golden light reacted instantly to the touch of his fingers.

"It's ok," he whispered. "I'm here." He ran his hand down the length of her arm, the smoothness of her skin sending memories flashing by behind his eyes. Memories that now hurt. He pushed them away and clasped her hand. "Feel me, Rose," he told her. "Feel me." The bond that had been forged between his mind and hers flared to life as he touched her, focusing the energy inside her. The Doctor entwined his fingers with hers, holding on to her. "Feel me," he begged.

Slowly her body stopped shaking. The light dimmed and disappeared, the energy getting pulled back inside, getting a new direction, somewhere to go. The pain in her head receded to a dull hum. Rose opened her eyes and stared into his. Feel me, he was saying. So she focused on the points where he touched her. His fingers laced with hers, his other hand at her waist, just brushing the skin between her shirt and her jeans. The pain drew back further. The images that had assailed her blew away and finally the earth stopped spinning. Rose breathed out a sigh of relief. The Doctor's forehead fell against hers. He was mumbling something she couldn't make out.

"What happened?" Rose breathed, still exhausted from the ordeal. Only then did she hear what he was mumbling.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. " He kissed her forehead and kept repeating those words over and over.

Rose's chest filled up with sudden fear, a memory of having no control over power greater than she could comprehend flashing by inside her mind. She struggled out of his hold, needing to be away from him for a second to gather her wits. But the minute she got back on her feet her knees crumbled under her and unspeakable pain lashed through her head. Rose screamed out as she fell to her knees, clutching her head in agony. Then the Doctor was there, his fingers brushing against her cheeks. It made her vision less hazy but it didn't dull the pain right away. Rose whimpered and the Doctor told her he was sorry one more time before he kissed her.

She froze in utter surprise. He drew away but an inch.

"You have to kiss me back Rose," he whispered against her lips. "Please." And she did.

The pain in her head blew away as though it had never been there at all. Electricity ran along her nerves, setting her blood aflame. But it wasn't like before because that energy that seemed to burn hotter than the sun was directed somewhere. It felt like it had when his mind had brushed against hers during the starfire but a hundred times stronger.

Rose threw her arms around the Doctor's neck, clutching the labels of his suit in a desperate attempt to find some purchase in the storm. She pressed her lips to his, euphoria singing in her veins. His hands were at her back, holding her fiercely against him. It was a whirlwind, a tempest and she never wanted it to end.

Images were flashing through her mind. Images of them together. Like this and yet not like this. That dark room, between time. His hands roving over her, his lips caressing their way down her throat, his voice in her ear begging her to trust him. His hands were suddenly in her hair, cupping her skull and getting his fingers tangled in the golden stresses. It was more than she'd dreamed. It was all consuming on a level she could never have imagined. Everything began and ended with this.

Suddenly he pulled away. It was like being ripped apart. Rose nearly screamed with the agony of it. She tried to pull him back but he shook his head, holding her away from him.

"Stop for a moment," he said.

"Doctor..."

"No, Rose just for a moment. Stop and think." He wasn't looking at her. His head was hanging from his shoulders, his breathing laboured. He was shaking his head, clearly struggling for control. But Rose didn't want control. She wanted him. She ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, trying to get him back. He ceased her hands and removed them instantly. "Just stop," he growled.

"Doctor." She struggled to get her hands free. His head flipped up and his eyes met hers. Fire burned in them. Fire of anger as much as passion but that was not what upset her. Behind that was a pit of self-loathing.

Rose drew back. "Stop," he ground out between his teeth. She pulled her hands out of his. The euphoria was swiftly leaving her veins. Reason returned to her mind. She drew away from him, stumbling back up on her feet.

"What did you do?" she breathed, staring down at him, fear lacing her voice. He let his head fall into his hands, his shoulders slumping with hopelessness. "What did you do?!" she screamed, not caring if her mother heard her. "Tell me what you did! Or I swear to god...!"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that!" The world was beginning to spin again and her head was starting to pound. She pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead, trying to will it to stop. In a moment the Doctor was on his feet in front of her. She took a step back. "Don't touch me!" she told him.

"Rose..."

Just then her mother came into the room. "What are the pair of you arguing about?" she demanded to know. Rose took another step back, shaking her aching head.

"Rose, just listen to me," the Doctor pleaded. But Rose just shook her head as the pain slowly got worse. "Take my hand." She glanced down and saw his hand held out towards her. But she didn't dare to touch it. What if she got lost like that again? "Rose, please. I'll tell you everything I promise, just take my hand." She looked up at him, meeting his beautiful dark eyes. Trust me, they said. Trust me. And what choice did she have? She had made her choice three years ago when she had decided to go with him. There never had been any turning back. So Rose closed her eyes and took the Doctor's hand. Her skin tingled in response to his, the link reaffirming itself and the headache receded.

The Doctor pulled her with him. She could hear him telling her mother some excuse as to why they had to go. She heard enough to know it was a lie. First rule, the Doctor lies.

The minute she stepped into the TARDIS the headache disappeared altogether. She opened her eyes as the Doctor let go of her hand. He walked over to the console. For a moment he just stood there. Then he turned around. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back, watching her. She expected him to say something. But he just stood there, looking at her.

"Why did the headache go away when I stepped inside the TARDIS?" she asked, thinking that if she had to she would force the answers out if him.

"My guess would be proximity to the Time-vortex," the Doctor replied in an even tone. "It... levels you out." Rose wandered closer but stayed at the edge, not close enough for him to touch her. She ran her hand down one of the pillars, it felt different somehow. Alive in a way it hadn't before.

"What did you do to me?" she asked. "I thought you said I was fine."

"You are," he replied. "No more dying cells. No more radiation."

"But something's different," Rose pointed out. "You did something."

"Yes."

"What?"

The Doctor took a deep breath, looking like he was steeling himself for a blow.

"I replaced your dead or damaged cells with new ones," he said.

"New ones?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"It's complicated," he answered, rubbing his forehead. Rose continued to wander around the room, making sure to keep distance between them.

"Try me," she said.

"Rose..." he trailed off. There was hopelessness in his posture and tiredness in the set of his shoulders.

"With what then?" she decided to leave that question for now. He looked up, his eyes tracking her. "You must have replaced the damaged cells with something," she pointed out.

"Yes."

"New cells?"

"Yes."

"Are they... human?"

"No."

Rose felt a shiver run over her skin. Not human.

"Alien."

"Yes."

She feared to ask it but she did anyway, she was nothing if not brave.

"Who's?"

He paused before he answered this time.

"Mine," he said. Rose clasped the railing to steady herself, feeling like she had just received a punch in the gut.

"I'm not...human anymore..."

"Of course you're human," he immediately refuted.

"Human but with..." she trailed off, unable to finish.

"...Time Lord DNA, yes," he finished for her. She clasped the railing so tight her knuckles were turning white. She felt like she was going to throw up.

"Why can't I remember anything?" She struggled to get the words out past the sickening feeling in her throat. Maybe if she could remember what happened she wouldn't feel so violated. Because at that moment it is exactly how she felt. He had done something to her. Something that fundamentally changed her. Had he even asked if that was what she wanted?

"Do you remember when you absorbed the energy of the Time-vortex?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, you know I don't."

"Same thing."

Rose forced herself to straighten, looking over at him. The Doctor was still standing at the exact same spot, his eyes watching her, his face unreadable.

"Why do I feel dizzy when you touch me?" she asked.

"Is that what you feel?"

"Yes." And a thousand other things but she wasn't going to tell him that. He sighed as though it took him effort to try and explain all this to her. But she didn't care if it inconvenienced him. He owed her.

"A low-level connection was formed I guess. Or it's simply my DNA recognising itself in you."

"You're lying." His half-truths were still hard to spot but outright lies she could discern from miles away. His eyes narrowed on her.

"So are you," he countered. She glared at him.

"Fine," she hissed through gritted teeth. "I feel like there's electricity running through my blood. It's... I can't explain it...It's...kinda like dying I think." That got his attention. "Blissful but frighting at the same time..." She curled an errant lock behind her ear. "You feel that too?" she asked. His gaze fell to the floor and he shuffled something unseen with his shoe.

"Yes," he finally answered but without looking at her. "I feel that too."

"Tell me why?"

"It couldn't be helped." He still wouldn't look at her. "It was the only way it was going to work."

"What was?" she pushed. His eyes snapped up to hers.

"Keeping you alive," he ground out. Rose sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. They were both silent for a long time. She had to know what he'd done. She had to understand or she might never be able to forgive him. But he didn't seem interested in making her understand. Every answer he gave was evasive, inconclusive. It was like he didn't want her to know.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to gather the courage to ask him the next thing.

"When..." she began but trailed off. She took a deep breath and tried again. "When you touched me... When we..." God, why was this so hard? She leaned her head back, gazing up at the ceiling. "I saw something." The room was silent for a long time as Rose struggled to continue.

"What?" he asked. She closed her eyes, trying to see it clearly in her mind. But like before the images were slipping away like mist.

"A dark room..." she began. She remembered that, vaguely. "And you... you told me to trust you. Was that real? Or was that a dream? That dark room, did that happen?"

"Is that all you saw?" he asked, sounding a little worried. It wasn't. It was all she remembered seeing but she also still remembered feeling him against her, his lips against her skin. But she couldn't tell him that. She felt herself blushing, hoping the dim lighting in the room kept him from seeing it.

"Yes," she said. He regarded her a moment. She could feel his eyes on her but she kept hers on the ceiling.

"I did ask you to trust me," he finally said.

"And I did," she replied. "Didn't I? Blindingly."

"Yes."

Rose felt tears falling down her cheeks. She felt betrayed, so horribly betrayed. She couldn't help it.

"Did you even tell me what would happen?"

"No." A brokenhearted sob escaped her lips at his simple denial. He straightened, turning to her. "There wasn't time," he insisted, a hint of desperation in his voice now. "You were dying..." She nodded that she understood, her eyes still on the ceiling and her heart breaking into a milling razor sharp pieces that hurt with every breath she took.

The Doctor was in front of her. She could feel him. Like magnets moving together. He reached out his hand. Rose turned her gaze to his, her eyes hard and filled with countless tears.

"Touch me and I'll kill you," she hissed. She saw the hurt in his eyes but forced herself to ignore it. What he'd done would undoubtedly have numerous untold consequences and he had never even bothered to ask her if that was something she was prepared to live with. She thought that she had been beyond selfish when she had come to see him, knowing she was going to die. But this was worse. What kind of life had the Doctor condemned her to just so she would live?

Rose slipped past him, drawing away. She rubbed her arms, feeling suddenly ice cold.

"What is going to happened to me?" she asked, her voice not quite steady.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I don't know if anything like this has ever happened before."

"So you had no idea what it would do to me? What it might turn me into and you did it anyway?!" She twirled around, screaming at him.

"I had no choice!" he screamed back. "You would have died!"

"Then I would have died! I am human, Doctor! I am supposed to die!" It felt like she was trying to pound the words into his skull, yet he was hearing none of it.

"I wasn't ready!" He ran shaking fingers through his hair again. He was messing it up every time and every time she noticed. Because she liked his hair messy. She had loved him for so long and now all that love was turning to ash.

He took a step towards her. "I couldn't loose you." His voice shook. "Not again. I couldn't."

"You selfish bastard," Rose hissed, a part of her regretting the words immediately after they'd left her mouth. The vulnerability disappeared out of his eyes.

"Yes," he said. "I was selfish. This one time! I spend my life saving people. Saving entire worlds but this one time I thought to hell with it! If I couldn't keep the girl I lo... " He trailed off, struggling to get the words out. "If I couldn't keep you than none of the rest mattered."

"Not even me?" she asked. "That damned boy in the forest he was right wasn't he? That's why you never asked me what I wanted. Because you knew I'd never want this but you didn't care."

"That is not true!" He pointed his finger at her for emphasis. "You want to live. I know you do."

"Not like this!" she insisted. "Like some ticking time bomb!"

"We don't know what will happen. You could be fine."

"Like I was out there?" Rose pointed towards the TARDIS door. "When it felt like I was going to explode!? Like every molecule in my body was screaming?! Is that your idea of fine?!"

"That we can fix," the Doctor began. Rose threw up her hands in a show of exasperation. He wasn't listening to her. "With practice," he was saying.

"Practice?" Rose snarled.

"Yes!" he insisted. "You just have to learn to control it."

"Control what? I don't even know what it is!"

The Doctor took a step closer to her. "Can you describe it?" he asked. Rose rubbed her arms and shook her head, struggling to calm her racing heart.

"I don't know," she cried. "I can't..." She took a deep breath and tried again. "It was like I could see everything at once, I think. It's hazy."

"That is your mind protecting itself," the Doctor explained. "Suppressing what it can't safely comprehend."

"What do you mean?"

"What you saw. It's what I see, all the time. All that was, all that is, all that ever could be."

Rose felt the pieces click into place, remembering how it had felt like the world was moving beneath her feet. She recalled the first time she'd ever met the Doctor when he had tried to explain what he was. I can feel the turn of the Earth, he'd said. That's what she'd felt. What he felt. It was what had overloaded her brain. She was human after all.

"Your body wasn't meant to withstand that." He confirmed her thoughts as though he had read her mind. She glared suspiciously over at him.

"Can you read my mind right now?" she asked. He shook his head, clearly thinking that idea preposterous.

"No, I can't read your mind not if you don't let me. But I can..."

"Can what?"

"I can feel what you feel to a certain extent if the emotion is strong enough. Like when you collapsed. I could feel that you were in pain."

Rose was shaking her head again. This was all too much. She couldn't take it all in. She needed a break. She walked around the centre-console, staying as far away from him as she could and headed for the door.

"You can't go out there," he said from behind her. She stopped with her hand on the door handle. "Same thing will happen again."

"So I'm trapped in here," Rose concluded.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't you ever say that to me again," Rose hissed. "Ever."


	7. Chapter 7 - Who is the big bad wolf?

Chapter 7 - Who is the big bad wolf?

"Just try to concentrate," the Doctor told her. Rose struggled to do as he said but it wasn't easy. They were sitting in her room, on her bed, crosslegged and facing each other. He was holding her hands, even though she hated having to touch him. It made her feel powerless, a slave to the need to be close to him. It should be a choice, shouldn't it? Not a necessity.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Rose nodded, breathing slowly in and out, focusing her mind to one single thought. In this instant it was the stuffed teddy-bear in her lap.

The Doctor pulled his hands out of hers. Rose pictured the teddy-bear perfectly in her mind, concentrating on even the smallest detail. She began to feel her mind pulling away, wanting to go everywhere. An image flashed by her mind. A city. An alien city. Beautiful amongst snow-topped hills and valleys of red grass. It shone like gold in the light of two suns. Another image overtook the first. The city burning, hundreds of millions of people screaming. Then nothing but silence. Rose felt her head starting to pound. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying desperately to focus back on the image of the teddy-bear. Then she saw the Doctor, standing apart from it all, watching as the world burned. Suddenly she was the one that was burning. Rose screamed his name. Reaching out through the flames, calling him. But he just stood and watched as the flames consumed her.

"Rose!"

She opened her eyes and first then did she notice the tight grip the Doctor had on her wrists. Electricity seemed to radiate from the spot where he touched her, clearing her mind of the horrid images. She blinked a couple of times until her eyes focused on him. She pulled free. But the Doctor managed to grasp her hand, keeping the connection to him alive.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"Never heard you scream like that," he said.

"I screamed?" she asked in surprise. He nodded, his eyes on their hands.

"We have to find a better way to do this," he muttered. Rose shook her head.

"No, this was your idea. We keep going." Rose took the teddy-bear and put it away. Instead she retrieved a photo she had sitting on her nightstand. An old yellowed photo of her mum and dad. She put that in her lap instead.

Rose stared at the picture until every aspect of it was memorised. She closed her eyes and pulled her hand out of the Doctor's.

She was able to hold on a little longer the second time but eventually images started flooding her mind. Past, present and future. Only they were all jumbled. She wouldn't have been able to understand it even if her mind wasn't screaming in agony.

And so it went for days. It took a whole week before they began to notice any immediate improvement. Slowly she began to learn how to lock that part of her away but the barrier was still thin. It felt as though the smallest thing could cause it to crack and everything would come tumbling down like a house of cards.

Rose was sitting on her bed, doing some form of meditation the Doctor insisted on when her phone buzzed. Text message with the caller id blocked which meant Torchwood. She read the short missive and tucked the phone into her pocket. She got to her feet and found the Doctor sitting in a chair by the window watching her. He was always watching her. Treating her more like a nuclear bomb about to explode at any moment than an actual human being. Rose past him and went to her wardrobe, picking out a black leather jacket she was fond of. She drew it on and flicked her hair free of the collar.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor asked, his tone dark. Rose choose not to reply. She was bloody sick of him hovering about all the time. She left the room.

The Doctor caught up with her on the stairs.

"Rose," he called after her. She hurried away, making her way to the front door, pretending she couldn't hear him. Rose let the front door slam shut behind her. She took a deep breath of the fresh, familiar air and tried to smile. But there was a strange pressure on her chest. Choosing to ignore it she took the car her father had bought for her for her twentieth birthday. A silver Mercedes. He didn't skimp on presents that's for sure. Rose suspected that part of the reason was because his whole life he'd never had a daughter to spoil so he was making up for it now. And perhaps over doing it a bit. But who was she to complain.

Rose started the car and tore off down the driveway. The text message she had received was a call back. Usually it meant debriefing. She generally believed that Torchwood was doing good now. The world needed some form of institution to deal with abnormal things. And since abnormal was normal for her, working at Torchwood was a natural step. She had been against integrating the alien tech in the machine that started it all. The machine that blew up and poisoned her. If they had just left it alone she never would have gotten hurt and the Doctor would never have done what he did.

But what good were if's and maybe's now? The cards had been dealt and these were the ones she was stuck with. She pounded her fist against the wheel. Unfair! So bloody, damn unfair! She didn't want this! She had never wanted it. She didn't even feel like herself anymore because she spent so much time reeling everything in and she could never afford to let go. It was a horrible existence.

Rose took a hard right turn. The pressure on her chest refused to recede. In fact it was getting worse. She rubbed at the area that hurt but the pain wasn't on the outside. She pulled into the underground parking garage at Torchwood and parked the car in her usual spot. She beeped the car-locks closed on her way to the elevator.

"Hey, Rose!" She turned at the sound of the familiar voice. She forced a smile as she saw Mickey running up to her. He gave her a hesitant smile in return.

"Hey." She gave an awkward little wave.

"Didn't think I was gonna see you here any time soon," Mickey said. "You weren't looking too good last time I saw you." He rubbed his head. "I mean, you look better now, sort of."

"Yeah, thanks," Rose said. "I am better though. The Doctor's been helping me." Neither the Doctor nor Rose had explained to anyone what really was going on. Rose, mostly because she didn't understand it herself and who knew what the Doctor was thinking. She felt a twinge inside of her stomach at the thought of the secrets he was keeping from her. The things he refused to tell her.

"Yeah, how is the old Doctor?" Mickey asked and judging by his tone he couldn't care less about the answer.

"Fine, I guess," Rose replied, her gaze dropping.

"Are you ok?" Mickey asked clearly having caught the hesitancy in her voice. He was always so attentive. Maybe too attentive sometimes. "I mean, he hasn't done anything, has he?"

"Done anything? Why would he do anything?" Rose asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"I just know how you are with him. How he is. He doesn't think sometimes."

"It's nothing," Rose refuted. "It's fine."

"Alright." Mickey rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets, clearly not willing to push her for answers she might not be prepared to give. "Well if you ever need to talk, you know..."

"Yeah, I know." Rose combed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Thanks."

"Eh, um...see ya."

"See ya."

Mickey trudged away while Rose wondered for a second where they would have been today if the Doctor had never fallen out of the sky and landed smack in the middle of her life. Would they still have been together?

Rose turned away and headed for the elevator, thinking it mattered little now. Her fate was sealed. She pressed the button to call it and the elevator-door immediately slid opened. She stepped inside, swiping her card on the access-panel next to her and gave the number of the floor where she wanted to go. It took longer than usual for the elevator to start moving. But eventually it did. Rose sighed and leaned back against the elevator-wall. She was too distracted to notice that the elevator was going down instead of up. The strange pressure on her chest had turned painful.

The elevator pulled to a smooth stop and a pleasant ping signalled that she had arrived at the designated floor. The elevator doors opened and she was met with six guns pointed straight at her.

"Step out slowly," a female voice urged her. Dr. Conn. She was head of genetic research. Or the Basement as most people called it. Rose wasn't even quite sure what went on down there. But more importably why was Dr. Conn's people pointing guns at her? Rose raised her hands and stepped out of the elevator. As soon as she did she saw Conn in her white lab coat.

'What is going on?" Rose asked, hesitantly. Dr. Conn stepped forwards.

"You are supposed to be dead," she said, sounding a tad accusatory. Rose let her hands fall to her sides. Every soldier tensed up a little, but no one shot her outright.

"Well, I'm not," Rose said. "As you can see, I'm fine." Dr. Conn took another step towards her.

"No one survives that," she said in a hard tone. "I looked at your lab-work. You should be dead."

"Still alive I'm afraid," Rose told her with a shake of her shoulders.

"Secure her!" Dr. Conn ordered. Within seconds two soldiers had stepped forward and grabbed her.

Fire and anger flared inside Rose's chest and she lashed out. She pulled free of one and punched the other so hard she knocked him to the floor. She barely even noticed the four other guns raised towards her. She twirled and faced the other soldier, realising she knew him. Tom Saks. Tom hesitated but she didn't. Rose knocked the weapon out of his grasp, spinning it around in her hands. In no more than a couple of seconds she had it aimed right between Tom's eyes. The man froze.

Basic weapons and combat training was mandatory for any Torchwood agent. Though Rose had seldom found the need to use the skills they had taught her, she'd still seemed to have had an affinity for it.

"Everyone hold!" Dr. Conn screamed. "No one fire!"

"Rose..." Tom's voice shook.

"Shut up," Rose growled. "You have no right to speak to me."

"We had orders," Tom tried to explain.

"From Dr. Conn?!" Rose screamed. "I am Rose Tyler!" Sudden pain lashed through her shoulder. Tom's eyes grew wide as he stared at her. Rose felt the gun slip out of her fingers. It clattered to the floor as Rose fell to her knees. Dr. Conn stepped forwards, stun-gun in hand.

"You shot me in the back," Rose said with disbelief. "You spineless..." Rose fell to the floor, her body spasming.

Dr. Conn waltzed over to her. She was a tall woman Dr. Conn. Long auburn hair was tied in a tight braid down her back. Her eyes were slightly slanted up at the corners, giving her an almost cat-like appearance that was further emphasised by her dark green eyes. But what really caught your eye were the strange scarring that marred her skin. Like patches of her skin had been removed and then carefully stitched together. Rose glared defiantly up at her.

"Why?" she growled. Conn watched her curiously.

"We don't even know what you are," she mused. "Are you even Rose Tyler?"

"Of course I am! Don't being ridiculous."

"There is no way a human being survives that kind of radiation. You should be dead."

"Don't sound so disappointed," Rose hissed. Surprise filled Dr. Conn's face.

"Oh, you are mistaken Agent Tyler I am not disappointed..." Dr. Conn giggled. Actually giggled. "...I am quite delighted in fact." She smiled broadly while Rose stared at her in utter confusion. "Take her to the lab," Dr. Conn told the soldiers.

Rose was pulled to her feet and dragged away. She passed out sometime on the way. She didn't know how much later she awoke. But she awoke strapped to a hospital-bed, hooked up to all manner of machines. The room she was in was all clean and metal. One wall was covered by a giant mirror. She looked at her reflection and saw a pale girl staring back at her. How long had she been out?

There was a beep and a door slid opened. In stepped Dr. Conn. She looked much as she had the last time Rose had seen her. Lab-coat, dark hair tied back. She smiled at Rose and Rose wanted to kill her. There was a pad in her hands. Dr. Conn looked down at it, penn at the ready.

"How are we feeling?" she asked sweetly. Rose just stared at her. Dr. Conn looked up, the question in her eyes. "Yes?" Rose pulled at the bounds holding her. They wouldn't budge.

"You're so done for," Rose told her.

"Is that so?" Dr. Conn just smiled. "And why is that?" She walked over to the side of Rose's bed. "Is your precious Doctor going to do me in?" Dr. Conn giggled. "I'm not afraid of a myth."

"Don't get me wrong," Rose said. "You should be afraid of him. The very whisper of his name should make you tremble in fear. The oncoming storm. But you know what is worse for you than him?" There was the barest of twitch at the corner of Dr. Conn's mouth. The only indication that Rose's words had any effect. "Are you afraid of the big bad wolf Dr. Conn? Because you should be." Rose smiled at the other woman. Anger and fury was rising in Rose's chest. She wanted this woman dead. Now. The thought should have terrified her. Rose was not a killer. That instinct shouldn't be there. But it was. Somehow it was.

"What are you talking about, Agent Tyler?" Dr. Conn sounded bored now. But even though her tone was disinterested her eyes were sharp on Rose. "Who is this big bad wolf?" she asked.

Rose raised her head from the pillow. She stared hard at Dr. Conn making sure she had her full attention before she spoke.

"Me," Rose hissed. There was a flicker of perhaps not fear but concern moving inside Dr. Conn's eyes for a moment. But then she smiled.

"What are you going to do from there, Agent Tyler?" Dr. Conn asked condescendingly. "I have you tied up and drugged. You can't hurt me. And neither can your Doctor." She returned to the pad in her hands. "Are you experiencing any dizziness? Headaches?" She was clearly checking off a list. Rose hadn't even had time to really check how she was feeling. She notices she still had that strange, painful pressure in her chest.

When she didn't answer Dr. Conn abandoned her pad and leaned against the bed. "You see..." she began. "I've run every possible test on you. Everything I can think of and they're all inconclusive. The only thing I could determine for sure is that you have an elevated body temperature. As though you were running a fever except you're not." Dr. Conn leaned down over Rose. "So I'm going to need you to tell me, Rose Tyler, Bad Wolf or whatever you chose to call yourself. Tell me how you are still alive."

For the first time Rose noticed a hint of desperation in Dr. Conn's eyes. Something was going on. Something that went deeper than duty or even curiosity. This was personal. Somehow.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" Rose asked. Dr. Conn straightened with a sigh.

"If you won't tell me Agent Tyler...," she said walking over to a small metal table with several medical instruments lined up in neat rows. She put the pad down on it and picked up, what looked like a small remote control. She turned back around. "If you wont tell me I am going to have to hurt you." Rose squeezed her lips tightly shut and glared defiantly at Dr. Conn. "Very well." She pushed a button on the small remote and pain started in her arm and then lashed through Rose's entire body. She screamed.

The Doctor paced back and forth in front of the TARDIS in Rose's bedroom. Her absence was physically painful. He had tried to tell her. Tell her it would hurt if they were apart but she had not been interested in listening. He could see the disgust in her eyes whenever she looked at him now. The mistrust. She hated him. His beautiful, brilliant Rose Tyler hated him and it was killing him. He stopped his pacing and leaned back against the TARDIS. He knew when he had made his choice that there would be consequences. The prophecy had foretold of the end of everything, of the whole universe. The universe was still here but his world had ended. Rose would never forgive him for what he'd done.

Pain suddenly lashed through his nerve-endings, his hands clenched into fists. He was thankful he was leaning against the TARDIS or the pain would have sent him to his knees. But this was not his body that was in pain it was Rose's pain he was feeling. Someone was hurting her.

The Doctor pushed the pain away with sheer force of will. It receded to a steady hum, just enough to urge him to hurry. He spun around and tore opened the TARDIS door, rushing inside. He hurried to the screen mounted on the centre-console. He began scanning the surrounding area for her. She would be ever so much easier to find now that she had Time- Lord DNA jumbled in with her own. The thought of it still made guilt stir deep in his gut. He had never wanted to do that to her, certainly not without her permission. But he had been desperate. The thought of loosing her had crippled him. The mere idea of a world without her broke him. He hadn't been able to do it. No matter how small the chance that she would even live through it had been he had to take that chance because the other option was unbearable.

When the 'no life-signs' flashed on the screen he screamed.

"No, no, no!" She had to be out there. She had to. He ran around the console, flipping switches as he went, just as the TARDIS doors busted opened and in stormed an angry Mickey.

"Doctor!" he barked. The Doctor stopped and turned around in surprise.

"Mickey?" he asked, squinting at him in disbelief.

"What have you done to Rose?" Mickey asked, clearly upset. "I just saw her and...-" Mickey was immediately cut off as the Doctor rushed over and clasped Mickey's shoulders in desperation.

"You just saw her?" he interrupted.

"Yeah, just now. She tried to make me think everything was fine. But everything's not fine. You did something to upset her, I can bloody well tell."

"Where did you see her!?" the Doctor screamed. Mickey stared at him in shock for a moment.

"Torchwood," he finally answered.

The Doctor let go of Mickey. He ran back to the console, punching in coordinates.

"What are you doing?" Mickey asked, "What's wrong?"

"You should get out of here," the Doctor said, his voice suddenly eerily calm.

"Is Rose in trouble?" Mickey asked, running up to the console. The Doctor glanced over at him.

"Rose is in pain," he said. "And I can feel it."

"Feel it." It wasn't even a question. He didn't even sound all that surprised. "And you are going to get her." Not a question either, so the Doctor didn't bother to answer it. Because of course he was going to get her. He would always get her if she was in trouble and nothing short of time breaking apart and the whole universe shattering was going to stop him.


	8. Chapter 8 - Ashes to ashes

Chapter 8 - Ashes to ashes

"Please, Agent Tyler. I can't help you if you don't help yourself," Dr. Conn told her in a voice far too sweet. Rose simply continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"Tell me what he did," Dr. Conn said. "Tell me what the Doctor did to save you and the pain will stop. It is that simple." More pain surged through Rose's body. She was hooked up to an iv. Every time Dr. Conn pressed the button on her remote it opened up the drip. Rose didn't know what it was. She only knew that hurt. A lot. Dr. Conn had been at it for hours at least.

Dr. Conn took her finger off the button. Rose gulped in a lungful of air. Dr. Conn leaned over her.

"Tell me," she said with a smile that was somehow all sweetness and malice at the same time. Rose turned her head and glared at the horrible woman.

"Don't you get it?" Rose hissed. "I wont betray him. I'll never betray him. Whether I know what you want or not don't matter. You wont get any answers from me."

"You stupid girl!" Dr. Conn suddenly screamed in frustration. "You ignorant child! This could save millions of lives! Don't you understand that! From what little I could deduce from your tests, whatever he did it didn't just fix you it made you better."

Rose turned away from her, feeling bile rise up in her throat. The Doctor hadn't made her better. He'd cursed her. That's what this thing was, a curse. Even now she could feel it pushing behind her eyes, moving restlessly through her blood. Sooner or later Rose wouldn't be able to hold on. The energy would fry her brain and possible Dr. Conn with it.

Dr. Conn was back next to Rose's bed, clutching it's edges in a white-knuckled grip."Please, Rose," she pleaded for the first time. "I need to know what he did."

Rose said nothing. Dr. Conn shook her head and turned away. She ran her fingers through her hair, messing up her braid.

"It could do so much for science, for medicine." She turned back around. "We could cure so many people Rose. We could save them all." Rose narrowed her eyes at the woman. She had tears in her eyes and her hands reached out towards Rose in pleading. We could save them all. That was the first sign that Dr. Conn felt anything decent at all. She must be talking about someone specific.

"Who are you trying to save?" Rose asked, her voice weak and barely holding. Dr. Conn straightened and blinked in confusion.

"I... I have a sister," Dr. Conn said in a quiet voice, her eyes dropping to her hands. "She's dying. It's why I studied this field. It's why I joined Torchwood." She raised her gaze and stared defiantly down at Rose where she lay hurt and exhausted in that hospital bed. Dr. Conn smiled. "I'd do anything to save her." She raised her hands and indicated her scars. "Anything."

Rose stared at Conn for a moment.

"We share a very rare blood-type," Dr. Conn was saying. "I am the perfect donor." Rose's eyes widened as she stared at her. What other things might she have cut out and given to her dying sibling? Dr. Conn seemed just as ready to sacrifice anything to save someone else as the Doctor and both were going about completely backwards.

"Dr. Conn," Rose began and looked over at the woman. She fought the impulse for revenge. To hurt Dr. Conn because she had hurt her. Revenge was not part of her character, Rose reminded herself. Everyone deserved a chance. "Let me go," Rose struggled to say. "...and we will do everything we can to save your sister. I promise."

"Will you get your Doctor to do what he did to you?" Hope filled the woman's eyes. But Rose froze.

She suddenly felt cold all over. Whatever the Doctor had done he'd said it had never been done before and probably for a very good reason. Rose wasn't even sure the process could be repeated since she still didn't know exactly how he had accomplished it. But she did know one thing. She knew it as clearly and certainly as she knew her own name. The Doctor would never do it again. Ever. Not for anything or anyone. That knowledge hummed through her veins and drummed through her bones. It was a truth that was absolute even if she couldn't remember why.

"No," Rose said quietly. "He can't." Rose watched the momentary vulnerability leave Dr. Conn's eyes. Cold resolve replaced it and horrible smile spread over her lips. In that moment Rose realised she would die in that room. Dr. Conn pressed the button.

Rose didn't know when she started to see the images. If it was hours, days or weeks even. But at some point her hold began to slip. Images began flashing inside her mind. Old ones and new ones and ones never lived. It was a kaleidoscope of feelings and fears and more pain. Rose screamed as her mind became overwhelmed with what it didn't have the strength to comprehend. Rose didn't even notice the surprised look on Dr. Conn's face as she stared at the small remote she had not pressed for quite some time.

Dr. Conn rushed over to the monitors lined up at the side of Rose's bed. There were electrodes attached to Rose's head that monitored her brainwaves. That machine was spazzing out. Dr. Conn began pressing buttons, thinking there must be something wrong with it. The readings were shooting off the scale.

"This can't be possible," Dr. Conn muttered in astonishment. She screamed and leapt back as sparks blew out of the machine when it short-circuited. It fell over and caught on fire. Rose was tearing at her bonds and screaming in agony far worse than any Dr. Conn had inflicted. Dr. Conn stared around in confusion. She had no idea what to do. As far as anyone knew she had simply brought Rose in to do some standard tests. She dared not call anyone for help. Not when they would see the state she was in. Dr. Conn looked at Rose. There seemed to be some sort of light shimmering beneath her skin. What was going on? Another one of the machines short-circuited and sparks blew out of the thing as its screen went dark. There had to be a way for Dr. Conn to harvest this energy.

She hurried over to the table with the medical equipment, scalpels and syringes and the like. She clasped one syringe. She hesitated only for moment before she pushed the needle inte the girl's arm. The vial filled up with blood but the blood wasn't the normal red. It was darker than regular blood which Dr. Conn already knew because of the countless tests she had already run but now it also seemed to have strings of gold in it. They had not been there before.

Dr. Conn stared in awe at the blood.

"Amazing," she mumbled to herself just as the strings of light went out. She screamed in frustration and hurled the syringe across the room. She went back to the table and grabbed a scalpel. Her eyes caught on the bone-saw. What if she cut opened her head? Harvested her brain.

Dr. Conn stared from the scalpel in her hand to the bone-saw. This was stepping over a line. Resolution filled her chest. She discarded the scalpel and picked up the bone-saw. Rose was still screaming but she was also securely tied to the bed regardless of her trashing. Dr. Conn placed herself at the head of the bed.

"I'm sorry Agent Tyler," she said. "But why do you deserve to live more than the rest of us?" The familiar hum of the bone-saw filled Dr. Conn's ears as she put it to Rose's scalp.

"Touch one blonde hair on her head and I'll make sure you suffer unimaginably."

Dr. Conn started and twirled around. There was a man standing there. A man in a pinstriped suit, a messy head of hair and sneakers of all things. But none of those things seemed important. It was his eyes. Despite his young face his eyes were old. Ancient. And furious. It wasn't a regular kind of fury, if there was such a thing. The intensity of it was tangible. It seemed to radiate around him. The Doctor. What had Rose called him? The oncoming storm. Dr. Conn could see why. He looked like a raging storm. Merciless and uncompromising. This was the man that could topple governments with a single word, who'd seen entire galaxies wink out of existence. This was the man that held all of time and space in the palm of his hand and he'd come for one thing. Rose Tyler.

Dr. Conn dropped the bone-saw and stumbled back. She'd thought she didn't fear the Doctor. That the Doctor was just a name, a myth. But now that the myth had come to life she found she was afraid. Rose had been right. His mere presence in the room was enough to set her heart racing and her brain screaming for her to run. Run for her life.

Dr. Conn retreated until her back hit the wall, until there was nowhere else to go. The Doctor's eyes shifted to the girl screaming in the hospital bed. He walked over to her and untied her bounds and tore the drop out of her arm. He ran his hands down the side of her face with a gentleness that surprised Dr. Conn. He whispered her name, his voice soft and tender. Rose.

Rose was still screaming. Still in pain. The Doctor picked her up off the bed and held her to him. She shook in his arms and he held her tighter. It was strange to see when a moment ago he had looked ready to level the entire world.

Dr. Conn skirted the room, moving towards the exit. But halfway she stopped. They were both here now. In this room. Just waiting for her to unlock their secrets. And all she had to do...

Suddenly a blinding light lit up the room. Dr. Conn twirled around and stared in horror. It was Rose. Golden, dusted light twirled around her, snaking around her slight form. She opened her eyes and that light was in them too. It was power. Unlimited power. Dr. Conn could feel it even from halfway across the room. Even in this the girl had been right. She had warned her of the bad wolf. This must have been what she meant. The Doctor was a force of nature but he was still a person and a person could be reasoned with on some level. Dr. Conn knew instantly that there was no reasoning with the creature of light rising in that bed. It was simply energy that needed to be released. The Doctor stumbled back, away from her. Rose sat up, her glowing eyes fixed on Dr. Conn.

The snaking light grew, reaching out like tendrils, pounding, pulsating. Dr. Conn would have screamed. She thought she would scream but it was painless. She just disappeared into dust. Ashes to ashes. She didn't feel a thing.

The Doctor felt Rose being torn apart and all that energy sizzling through her veins being released. The building was shaking around them, things falling over, cracks breaking up the walls. It was all coming down. And it was his fault. He hadn't gotten to her fast enough.

The Doctor clasped the edge of the bed and pulled himself back on his feet. He could feel the heat around her, the power surging, curling. He clasped her hand. It burned even him but he didn't let go.

"Rose..." The Doctor struggled to pull air down his lungs. "Rose please." There was no reaching her. She was too far gone. She was lost. The Doctor let his head fall against the mattress. He entwined his fingers with hers and held on tight even though she had told him never to touch her like that again and he had silently sworn he never would. Please Rose, he thought desperately. Not like this. Please. Not after everything. It couldn't all have been for nothing.

Then he suddenly felt her squeezing his hand in turn. He looked up in surprise. She was still surrounded by that dust of light but her eyes were on him.

"Doctor," she whispered in a broken voice. "Make it stop." It was permission enough. He surged up and ceased her face between his hands. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Their connection was all that had the chance to bind the power now. But it wasn't a one way street. He had to engage her heart, her soul and this was the only way he knew how. The only way he could make her forget.

Golden dust shimmered around them as the building was breaking down and neither of them noticed any of it. They were lost in each other. Nothing existed but the two of them. They were the eye of the storm.

Slowly the light around them began to dim, slowly getting pulled back inside her. Just as she had done before in that place between time.

She was strong his Rose.


	9. Chapter 9 - I can't

The Doctor and Rose pulled apart. The Doctor ran his hand through her hair.

"Rose?" She looked up at him, exhaustion and pain in her eyes. He got the sonic out of his pocket and changed to the appropriate settings. He ran it over her, scanning. There was damage to the tissue around her heart and her lungs and some fading imprint of a nerve-agent. He had to get her out of there. Back to the TARDIS. Looking around he saw the decimated room. Half of the ceiling had caved in. Dust coated the floor were Rose had accidentally destroyed equipment. Not to mention Dr. Conn. Plaster rained down from above. They were underground and the structure was failing. They would be buried alive if they didn't hurry. "We have to go," he told her. She gave him a weak nod.

The Doctor got out of the bed and pulled Rose with him, looping her arm across his shoulders and wrapping his other arm around her waist. He half dragged her out of the room. The whole sub-level had been TARDIS proof. He had to park several floors up.

They made it out into a hallway. It was in a worse state then the room Rose had been in. Metal beams had fallen through the ceiling, hindering their progress. They had to struggle to get over them. Several times Rose stumbled and they both nearly fell. Debris was falling from above them. The Doctor desperately pulled Rose with him.

"We are not dying down here," he told her. "You hear me?" There was no response from the girl at his side.

The Doctor looked up and saw someone moving up ahead, struggling to get past debris blocking their way. The Doctor made his way over to the person who turned out to be a woman.

"Are you going to help me?" she growled as they got closer.

"I..." The Doctor began but trailed off, his eyes caught on Rose. He was loath to relinquish her.

"Are you deaf or stupid!?" The woman twirled around and stopped dead as she saw them. "Oh my god," she exclaimed. "Is she...?" Her eyes narrowed on Rose. "Is that Agent Tyler?" she asked with disbelief.

The Doctor reluctantly put Rose down, leaning her against the wall. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow. He brushed his knuckles down her cheek, feeling that pleasant electrical spark tingle through his blood, the link flaring inside his mind. For a second he let himself get lost in the joy of it. The euphoria. He let his hand fall. But he knew she didn't feel that way. She hated it when he touched her and he woke up from dreams screaming in fear that she would never let him near her again. The Doctor rose to his feet and turned to the woman who stood staring at them.

"Let's get this out of the way," he said. The woman only nodded.

It took them a while to clear the corridor enough to get past and by that time everything was falling down around them. The Doctor yanked Rose to her feet and pulled her along. Dust and smaller rocks were falling on his head and shoulders but he tried his best to shield Rose from it. The woman was running ahead of them, making sure the path was clear enough to pass.

The ceiling above groaned and buckled. It was going to cave in! The Doctor screamed for the woman ahead of them to run. She turned around and after a moment of indecision ran back to them. She took Rose's other arm and helped the Doctor pull her along. The woman yelped as a metal bar fell from above nearly crushing her. They stumbled to the side.

"Come on!" The Doctor screamed over the noise. They hurried down the corridor as the roof caved in behind them.

They ran harder, faster even though they knew they could never outrun it. The woman suddenly stopped at an intersection.

"This way," she said, indicating a hallway to the left. "There's a bomb-shelter down there. Reinforced." They turned down the left hallway and ran flat out. Then Rose's legs gave way under her. The sudden dead-weight made them all stumble. The Doctor yanked her up, slipping his arm under her knees and lifting her up.

"RUN!" he screamed at the woman as she hesitated. She turned and ran and the Doctor ran after with Rose in his arms.

Everything was falling. Dirt and rocks from the ground overhead rained down as behind them the entire ceiling was coming down. The woman skidded to a halt and used her keycard to swipe at a panel before a big iron door. After the longest two seconds in history the light above the panel blinked red.

"Oh, come on!" the woman screamed in frustration. She swiped the card again. Again a red light.

"Human, woman, person!" The Doctor called over the sound of their ever impending death, realising he didn't know her name. The woman twirled around. "Inside, jacket pocket," he said nodding down towards his chest. She looked at him dubiously. "NOW!"

After a few seconds she pulled out his sonic-screwdriver.

"Put it in my hand," he told her. Holding out his right hand as far as he could while still holding on to Rose. The woman gave it to him without comment. He pointed it at the panel. A rather large chunk of stone crashed down next to them making them all jump. The woman was staring in fear as the corridor was collapsing towards them.

"Come on," The Doctor growled. Finally the light turned green and the door slid opened. They all threw themselves inside. The Doctor turned his head and saw pounds of dirt and broken steel beams crash down just before the door slid closed.

"Hannah thank goodness," someone was saying while helping the woman to her feet. The Doctor was turning Rose over. She was deathly pale. Horrible memories of her dying in his arms while he struggled to make the hardest choice he ever had to make flashed by his mind. She had been pale then too. Pale and cold, black circles under her eyes and blood staining her lips red. There was no blood now but her face looked gaunt and drawn. He brushed her blonde hair out of her face.

"Rose," he whispered. "Rose..." She wasn't responding. But she was alive. For now at least she was alive. He looked up at the faces around him. Five people were standing in a semi-circle staring at them. One was the woman who had helped them, Hannah. Next to her was a guy in his early twenties. His name-tag red Ford Velcon. Next to him was a woman in her forties, short cropped black hair and a sharp business suit. No name-tag. Then there was an older guy in a lab-coat, name-tag read Clive Bartley. The last one was a young soldier, the patch on his breast pocket read Saks. "Is there any water?" he asked the group. For a moment none replied.

"In the back. I'll get some." The soldier, Saks turned around and hurried away.

"That's Agent Tyler," the woman in the business suit pointed out.

"Yeah, what of it?" the Doctor muttered only half paying attention.

"So who are you?" the woman asked. The Doctor glanced up at her. Her eyes were sharp on him, he could see intelligence behind them but also a sense of pitilessness. She seemed far more interested in who he was than helping someone who was obviously injured.

Saks came back with a small bottle of water. He handed it over. The Doctor gratefully took it. He raised Rose's head off the floor.

"You have to drink, Rose," he urged her. He tipped the water into her mouth. She swallowed and the Doctor sighed with relief. She managed to get a few mouthfuls down before she began to Doctor handed the bottle back to Saks before he helped Rose into a sitting position. She coughed a couple more times and leaned her head against his chest. "Rose, please talk to me."

"What happened?" Rose mumbled into his chest. For a moment he was stunned but then he realised that of course she wouldn't remember. It was the only defence her mind had. Suppression.

"We're in a bit of a jam," the Doctor told her.

"When are we not," Rose mumbled. "What else is new?"

"Weeell..." the Doctor began. "We are trapped a few floors underground and we may or may not be able to get out."

Rose opened her eyes and looked carefully around the room. Moving hurt. Every bone in her body felt sore. Her eyes found the other residents in the room. They slew over everyone but stopped at Saks. Tom Saks, the guy she'd thought she knew but had helped Dr. Conn.

"You," she muttered accusingly.

"I'm sorry Rose," Saks immediately cut in. "I was coming down here to check on you. I felt bad...-"

"She tortured me, Tom!" Rose spat at Saks. That much she remembered. Every time Dr. Conn had pressed that button was burnt into her mind. Saks blanched.

"I didn't know. I swear!" he insisted.

"You were a part of this?" the Doctor cut in. Saks gaze flickered up to the Doctor. What little blood that was left in his face drained away.

"We..we had orders," he stuttered. "I didn't know."

The Doctor was holding Rose's hand and his grip was tightening to the point of being painful. She gave his hand a squeeze to get his attention. His eyes flickered down to hers.

"Forget about it," she told him. "Just forget about it."

After a couple of seconds he gave her a nod and his hold on her eased up. Rose took another look around the room. "Where's Dr. Conn anyway?" she asked. She felt the Doctor tense up.

"She's gone," he replied, his voice stilted. She was just about to open her mouth to ask him what had happened when he cut her off. "How are you feeling? Can you stand?"

"Dunno," Rose replied.

"Do you have blankets or anything?" the Doctor barked at Saks. The soldier immediately hurried away. When he came back he carried a bundle of blankets in his arms. "Over there," the Doctor ordered, pointing to a spot against the wall, a little out of the way.

Saks arranged the blankets in a make-shift bedding.

"Do you wanna try?" the Doctor asked Rose. She nodded. He got to his feet and pulled her with him. She swayed and her head spun but she stayed upright. The Doctor wrapped his arm around her waist. Rose was thankful for the support even though a part of her didn't want it. But she could feel the points were his bare skin graced hers. The contact was strengthening. The closer she was to him the stronger she felt.

He helped her down on the blankets Saks and laid out. Rose leaned her back thankfully against the wall. The Doctor began to straighten but she clasped his wrist, stopping him. She shook her head.

"Stay for a while," she said. "Just for a while. Please."

The Doctor did as she asked without question, sitting down next to her. She interlaced their fingers and laid her head against his shoulder and he thought that despite everything he hadn't felt this good since they had come back from the oracles.

The other four people had gathered together in a group, whispering and sending curious glances their way. Tom Saks was standing a bit awkwardly between them, clearly not quite sure where he should place his loyalties.

"Can you hear what they're whispering about?" Rose asked, without raising her head.

"They're curious about you," the Doctor said. "And me."

"Do they know who you are?"

"They suspect." The Doctor ran his thumb back and forth over hers in a soothing rhythm.

"I hate how good it feels when you do that." The Doctor immediately stopped the motion. He hadn't even been aware he was doing it. He didn't know if he should release her and move away all together, if these few moments were all he was going to get. He sat very, very still as he asked,

"Do you hate it that much? Does it feel that terrible?" He knew how touching her made him feel. Like the first rays of sunshine on his skin in the morning, like walking barefoot through dew-covered red grass, like running flat out with nothing but an endless orange sky overhead and nothing to hold him back. Touching her felt like touching starlight. Impossible and wonderful. But she was human. And for a human it very clearly did not feel anything like that at all. He got the sense that it somehow made her ill. She had said it felt like dying. The thought made a knot twist deep inside his chest.

He was just to pull his hand out of hers when she spoke.

"No," she said. "It doesn't feel terrible at all." She took a deep unsteady breath. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't scare the living crap out of me."

"I'm...-" the Doctor began but fell silent, remembering how she'd hissed at him never again to tell her he was sorry, even though he was. He would be sorry for the rest of his life. They sat quiet for a while until Rose broke the silence.

"I killed Dr. Conn, didn't I?" It was not what he'd been expecting and the question startled him. "I don't remember doing it but I feel the guilt of it," she continued before he had a chance to gather his thoughts and reply. He turned his head and kissed the top of her head.

"She'd hurt you. She was about to kill you," he told her, his voice muffled by her hair. Rose straightened and looked up at him.

"I want to see," she said. "You can show me, can't you? You can do that mind-thing, project images into my head...-"

"No," the Doctor cut her off, shaking his head. "There is a reason your mind is blocking it out. It's protecting itself."

"So I failed to contain it, is that what happened?" she asked sharply. "Is that what you're telling me, Doctor?" She glanced around, sudden realisation filling her face. "Did I do this?" she asked in horror. "Was this my fault?" The Doctor didn't answer, unable to find the words. But his silence was enough. "Oh, my god," she breathed. Her fingers tightened around his as panic filled her chest. How many people? How many she knew? Her father. Mickey. If they had been here. What if...?

Her heart began pounding frantically inside her chest, her breathing coming in rapid pants. The Doctor ceased her face and turned it towards him, still holding on to her hand even though her nails were digging into his skin.

"Rose, easy," he said. Her eyes found his. She looked into their brown depths and saw nothing but strength and kindness. "You didn't do this," he told her. "That Dr. Conn woman did. You stopped it." He brushed his thump over the curve of her cheek, sending a calming tingle over her skin. "Do you hear me? This was not your fault." She wanted to believe him but how could she? If she had been stronger this wouldn't have happened. People had most likely died because she wasn't strong enough.

Her panic was making it harder to keep control. She felt it slipping. That power in her veins was stirring which only made her more frantic. She looked away from the Doctor, seeing all the people in the room. Could she kill them all? If she lost control, could they all die? The Doctor was talking to her but she could no longer hear him. There was a buzzing in her ears as though she could hear her blood rushing through her veins. And then for a split second she remembered. She remembered being strapped to that bed, the Doctor coming for her and Dr. Conn. She had stood behind him. Through the endless stream of timelines rushing through her head one had suddenly stood out as a beacon. She saw Dr. Conn killing the Doctor in her mad attempt to find a cure for death.

It had been enough to snap the last few strings in Rose's mind. Fire and rage had filled her gut until all that emotion became pure energy. Energy that needed to be released.

Suddenly his face, hazy and indistinct swam before her. She blinked and slowly the edges began to sharpen. His eyes came into focus and his voice finally penetrated her mind.

"Rose, stop it!" He was holding on to her arms, his grip hard. "Do you hear me?! Stop!" She blinked again and the memory faded until it was tucked away, deep in her mind where it couldn't hurt her.

She saw him breathe a sigh of relief. "I thought I was going to loose you for a moment," he mumbled, shaking his head. She glanced down and saw the light moving under her skin dimming until it was completely gone. It looked like the Doctor's just before he regenerated, she realised. Same kind of energy no doubt, it just wasn't doing the same to her as it did to him because she was human.

The Doctor pulled her into his arms and Rose let him hold her for a while simply because it felt good. Just for the moment she pushed everything else away. All the guilt and the hurt and just let him hold her. She had loved him once. Loved him more than life itself. She supposed she still did. That she always would. A love like that was not something that could ever really fade. It would burn across time and space for an eternity, burning worlds with it. Only it was tainted now. Tainted by betrayal and pain and mistrust. The Doctor ran his hand down over her hair and she buried her face against his shoulder. But the moment was passing. She could only pretend for so long.

Rose pulled away from him and reluctantly he let her go. She leaned back against the wall, avoiding looking at him even though she could feel his eyes intent on her.

"You are never going to forgive me, are you?" he asked, his voice fractured. Rose looked up at him. Pain and fear filled his eyes. Sometimes he could be hard to read. He was so very good at hiding what he was feeling but for once it was all too clear. Rose swallowed hard. Whatever he'd done she didn't want to hurt him. But false hope was worse than any painful truth. She shook her head.

"No."

He gave her a nod of acceptance. He'd known deep down that she wouldn't. He had violated her trust. And all because the thought of loosing her had been unbearable.

The Doctor turned away from her, preparing to rise. She grabbed his shirt sleeve, stopping him.

"Unless you tell me," she said. His eyes narrowed on her. "Explain to me what you did. You are hiding something. I know you are. Just tell me. Make me understand." The Doctor reached down and removed her hand.

"I can't," he said. He rose to his feet and left her.

Rose felt his absence like a physical wound. She pushed her hair out of her face and took a deep strengthening breath. She looked up to find Tom Saks watching her, a sad expression on his face. She gave him a glare and he turned away.

Rose watched as the Doctor ran around the room, looking for a way out, arguing with the other survivors. Without him near her she was getting tired again, her eyes drifting shut. She leaned back, allowing herself to slip away. Her body needed rest after the ordeal it had been through.

"Rose?" Her eyes fluttered opened. Tom was kneeling down in front of her, a bottle of water in his hand. "This shelter is fairly well stocked," he said. "Your Doctor insisted I make sure you drink enough water," he explained. Rose reluctantly took the water. She was very thirsty. She took a swig.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"They found some maintenance shaft or something. They're trying to see if they can find a way out."

"They?"

"Your Doctor and Hannah."

"Hannah, of course, great," Rose muttered and took another swig of water.

"I don't think you need to worry," Tom said at the hint of jealousy in Rose's voice. She had tried to mask it but had obviously failed. She had no real right to be jealous. "That guy only has eyes for you. Never seen anyone look at someone the way he looks at you. Like loving you is killing him and he doesn't even care."

"Yeah," Rose muttered. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, thinking Tom didn't know what on earth he was talking about.

"I remember when you left," Tom said. "Left everything to see him one last happened?" Rose leaned her head back. She felt the power in her veins moving, humming. It was always there. Her control over it had to be constant. She could never relax unless she was in the TARDIS or with the Doctor. He had done that to her and he didn't even trust her enough to tell her how. "Thanks for the water," she told Tom, dismissing him. He didn't push but nodded and left her alone.

She screwed the cork back on the bottle and put it down next to her, letting it slip out of her fingers and roll away. Suddenly she heard an inhuman like screech. She froze and listened. It sounded like it came from inside the walls. She looked around at the others in the room but none of them seemed to have heard anything. Maybe she was going mad.

There was a bit of a ruckus and the Doctor came bounding in.

"Alright people!" Rose heard him declare. He came into view, Hannah following behind. The others stopped what they were doing and turned their attention on him. Rose looked up at the Doctor from her position on the floor, but he was avoiding looking at her. _He looks at you like loving you is killing him._ Tom's words rang inside her head. "We think we found a way to the surface," he was telling them all excitedly. "It will be a bit of a squeeze and a climb but we can do it." He turned to Hannah. "Brilliant Hannah here knows the way," he said. "Just follow her."

For a moment no one moved. "Come on! Get up!' he called clapping his hands to get them all moving. The ones who had been sitting struggled to their feet, all of them moving towards Hannah. Tom came up to the Doctor and told him something. The Doctor nodded and finally looked over at Rose. His face was hard, his eyes dark and unreadable. Rose found it difficult to keep looking into those dark, ancient eyes so she let her gaze drop from his.

He came over to her, kneeling down in front of her.

"Rose," he said, his voice soft, rivalling the hardness she had seen in his eyes.

"A bit of a squeeze and a climb?" she said.

"Do you think you can manage it?" he asked. Rose took a deep breath and nodded. She struggled up on her feet, using the wall to prop herself up, ignoring the hand he held out to aid her. She pushed away from the wall.

"I'm fine," she said and her knees folded under her. The Doctor caught her and pulled her back up.

"Sure you are," he muttered and wrapped his arm around her waist. Rose pulled away from him.

"I said, I'm fine," she insisted. The Doctor immediately took a step back.

"Fine," he growled. "If you say you're fine you're fine." He walked away from her, going the same way as the rest of them had gone. "You won't hear me arguing," he muttered.

He stopped at the doorway to the storage room and turned back to her. "Coming then?" he asked. Rose nodded and moved towards him. Her gait was slow and unsteady. The Doctor had to struggle to keep from helping her. He stood to the side and let her pass by him.

Rose saw the last person wiggling into a man-sized hole near the floor. She used the wall to steady herself, taking a few deep breaths.

"In you go then," the Doctor said. She turned and gave him a glare but took a torch lying on a cart next to her. It was the kind that you strapped to your wrist. She put it on, got down on her hands and knees and crawled into the hole. She got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach as she crawled through the tight space. She heard the Doctor enter behind her, the light from his torch casting shadows of her across the walls, distorting them and furthering her sense of dread.

They crawled through the vents for a good fifteen minutes until Rose saw the man in front of her, Clive Bartley if she wasn't mistaken, struggle up and disappear out of sight. Rose reached the intersection and a ladder that went up. She grabbed a hold of one of the rungs and pulled herself up. She felt the muscles in her arms straining. Her breath came short and shallow. She squeezed her eyes shut and struggled up the ladder. At the top Tom was there to pull her up. They were all standing around in a hallway, half of it looked caved in. There were metal beams and debris blocking the passage. Hannah was at the head of the group, looking to see that everyone was with them. The Doctor climbed out of the hole. He gave Hannah a nod and she nodded in return. So that was how it was, Rose thought bitterly but immediately chastised herself. She knew she was being ridiculous but she couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow as she watched the Doctor and Hannah work together. Once that would have been her.

Hannah turned around and called to the others to follow her. She began climbing over the debris and the others followed. Hannah and the Doctor must have found a way through. Tom was holding out his hand to help Rose but she shook her head. She could do it on her own. Tom preceded her and the Doctor followed behind her. Rose took a hold of a part of a metal beam to help pull her over a big boulder. Suddenly she heard that screech again. Everyone froze and Rose nearly loosed her footing. It was a terrible inhuman scream. She whipped her head around and her eyes found the Doctor's.

"What was that?" she asked. His eyebrows drew together in a frown.

"You tell me," he said. "You're the one that works here."

"I'm never down here," Rose admitted and looked around worriedly.

"We really should be going!" the woman with short cropped dark hair and the sharp suit urged. There was a hint of panic in her voice that made Rose pause. Her eyes narrowed on the woman. Rose didn't know her even though there was something about her that was familiar. But there were so much personnel working at Torchwood, so many different departments. She could have seen her in passing anywhere.

"Well, you heard her!" the Doctor called. "Let's get going!"

"Alright! Come on! This way!" Hannah called. They all went a little bit faster after that.

Soon the screech was joined by more, echoing off the walls. Rose thought she could hear scratching, things moving in the darkness. Tom helped her over another boulder. Some parts they had to crawl through and others they had to help each other to get over.

The flickering light from their torches were casting frightening shadows across the walls. More than once Rose was sure the shadows were moving on their own. But whatever was hiding in the darkness it wasn't coming out. Not yet. It was waiting. Watching. Biding its time.

 **\- I feel I simply must tell you all how much I appreciate all the favs and follows and the wonderful reviews! It means so much to me! I was scared out of my wits to post this story. So Thank You All and have a wonderful day/night or mid-morning or whenever it might be when you read this! Thank you! -**


	10. Chapter 10 - Important

Chapter 10 - Important

Rose fell and the Doctor caught her but she immediately pushed away from him only to stumble and have Tom catch her instead.

"I got her," Tom told the Doctor and he reluctantly nodded his consent.

"We have to move faster!" Ford insisted. "They're coming!" They could all feel it. They were being hunted. Rose silently cursed her battered body as she straightened. She could feel the tiredness in her muscles, the way she had to struggle to catch her breath, her head spinning.

The Doctor suddenly caught her hand and pulled her away. She began to protest but he pushed her into a nook in the wall, shielding her from the rest of the group with his body.

"Shut up," he told her impatiently, his voice strained and hard. Rose was so surprised she fell silent. "If you insist on acting this way," he growled. She opened her mouth to object but he hushed her silent again. He raised his hands and put his fingers to her temples. "Trust me," he told her, closing his eyes.

"Like I did last time?" she hissed. His eyes flipped opened. They were filled with anger and steely resolve. He leaned down, just an inch closer to her.

"Yes," he said. "Blindingly." He closed his eyes again, clearly concentrating. Rose watched him for a moment. She could already feel the tingling from the points were his fingers grazed her skin and at that moment she knew. Knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would. She would trust him again and again no matter how many times he lied to her. And that fact broke her heart.

Rose closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. "Let me into your mind," he said softly. He opened his eyes and looked at her hard. "Properly," he said. "Or I can't help you." Rose closed her eyes and relaxed, trusting him despite the fact that she wasn't sure what he was doing. Immediately she felt the link between them flare up. She imagined it like golden strands woven together between her mind and his. The more she let him in the more the euphoria spread through her body. Feeling this was like nothing she had ever known before and she absently wondered if it was the same for him. Did he feel like every movement was perfect, every touch ecstasy? "Relax Rose," he murmured. "...and I'll show you what to do."

And she did and he did. He showed her how to direct all that pulsing, errant power inside her. Direct it towards the places that were damaged from Dr. Conn's torture. She could feel the damage to the tissue around her heart and lungs. She wrapped the energy around the damage, concentrating on regenerating it. It felt good. So very good to have the energy directed, focused on something instead of just trying to contain it.

She let it flow, reaching, moving across the bond. Then suddenly an image blazed up inside her mind and Rose instinctively knew that it wasn't from her mind, she was seeing into the Doctor's.

They were back in that dark room, that was not a room. It had no walls, only a black marble-like floor. Even though there was darkness all around it wasn't the kind of darkness you feared. It was the comforting kind. The safe kind. The Doctor was running his hand down her arm and she could feel exactly how her skin felt under his hand. Exactly how it made him feel to finally touch her this way. He kissed her bare shoulder, softly, reverently as he murmured her name. Rose. My Rose.

Then suddenly it was like a door slamming shut. The image vanished. The Doctor released her so abruptly she stumbled, catching herself against the wall. Rose gulped in air. After a moment of hesitation the Doctor helped to hold her up.

"Easy," he said. "You ok? Do you have control?" he asked. Rose nodded.

"You shouldn't have done that," the Doctor told her, not sounding pleased in the slightest. She looked up at him, half confused.

"Done what?" she asked.

"Looked into my mind," he clarified reluctantly.

"But it's ok for you to poke around in mine?" Rose countered.

"I wasn't looking at your thoughts I was trying to help you."

Rose started and stopped, looking up at him.

"What I saw, that is what you were thinking about?" she asked in surprise. The Doctor stepped back from her.

"I wasn't sure that was going to work," he said, his tone forcibly formal and his eyes not quite meeting hers. He very clearly was not going to answer her. "But I'm glad it did since you were hellbent on killing yourself." With those words he turned away from her.

Rose straightened up. Her head was still spinning but her body no longer felt weak. She no longer had trouble breathing and her heart was beating steadily inside her chest.

"What are you two doing!?" Tom called. Everyone had started hurrying down the corridor, jumping over debris and skirting bits of pillars and caved in walls.

"Come on," The Doctor called back to Rose, half a question in his tone. She nodded and they ran to catch up with the others.

They caught up easily since everyone had been forced to stop. The road was completely blocked by debris.

"This wasn't here before," the Doctor muttered. Rose glanced around, she had the uncomfortable feeling something was off.

"Wait, where is Clive?" she asked aloud.

"Who's Clive?" the woman in the sharp suit snarled disinterestedly causing Rose's ire to rise.

"White haired bloke, kind smile," Rose told her angrily. The woman shook her shoulders as though she couldn't care less. The Doctor was up with Hannah and Tom trying to move some of the debris out of the way. Rose twirled around as she was sure she heard scratching in the walls again. She walked over slowly, the voices of the others droning away. She felt a hint of trepidation before she put her ear against the wall, listening. She heard the ominous scratching again. Except it wasn't scratching. Not quite. She pushed closer against the wall, listening as hard as she could. Insects. It was the first thought that came to mind. It sounded like insects. Rose stumbled back from the wall, adrenaline pumping through her veins as fear was rising in her chest.

"Hey! Over here!" the woman in the sharp suit called. "There's a door." She opened it and hurried through, the others following just as the Doctor shouted for them to stop.

"It's a dead end!" the Doctor called. But no one was listening. Hannah gave him a glance before she turned and hurried after them. Rose ran up to the Doctor.

"That scratching in the walls," she said. "Sounds like..." she trailed off.

"Sounds like what?" the Doctor asked.

"Insects," Rose said in a small voice, feeling a shiver of dread run down her spine. "And Clive's missing."

A scream rang through the broken halls. A very human scream. The Doctor and Rose took off at the same time. They ran for the door that everyone had disappeared through. It lead to a small hallway. They both rushed down it, the Doctor but a few steps ahead of Rose. They crashed through the door at the end and stopped dead. Everyone stood staring at something that nearly made Rose gag. It was some sort of larva or cocoon attached to the ceiling in the corner of the room. It was big and wet, some sort of mucus dripping off it. And it was pulsating, clearly alive.

"Oh my, that smells," Rose muttered and covered her nose. The Doctor reached into his pocket and put the glasses on. He walked over to it, studying the disgusting sack.

"We should go," sharp-suit suggested and once again Rose got the feeling she knew something more than the rest of them. Rose turned to her.

"What's your name?" Rose asked. The woman turned her eyes on Rose.

"Agent Tyler right?" she asked with a sneer.

"That's right," Rose confirmed. "And who are you?"

"Annabelle," she said, a snarl even to her smile. The name meant nothing to Rose. "Annabelle Conn," she finished. Rose blanched.

"So Dr. Conn she was...?"

"My sister, yes." Oh my god, this must be the sister.

"Are you the one that's dying?" Rose asked, narrowing her eyes at the woman, starting to see the similarities between the sisters. Annabelle Conn was older but the shape of their faces were the same and their noses as well, Rose thought. Annabelle blanched at Rose's question.

"Did she tell you that before you murdered her?" Annabelle hissed. "Don't even try to deny it," Annabelle said. "I heard you and the Doctor talking."

"I'm sorry," Rose tried, but the words rang false. She felt guilt, yes but she knew she'd had no choice.

Rose noticed that Annabelle Conn was slowly moving towards the door as she was talking. Her eyes flickering towards the thing in the corner of the room.

"You know what that thing is don't you?" Rose said. Annabelle smiled.

"There are more to fear down here Agent Tyler than you could dream of and they're all loose now," she laughed and twirled around, running out of the room.

"Doctor!" Rose called, twirling around and hurrying to his side. "Doctor?"

"You know I think I've seen this before," he was muttering.

"That's great, so what it is?" she asked. The Doctor straightened and took a step back. He removed his glasses.

"Clive," he said. Rose froze. She looked at the pulsing, mucus covered sack, hanging from the ceiling.

"How can that be Clive?" she asked in a low voice, not sure they should break these news to the rest of the people behind them.

"Wirrn," the Doctor muttered. "You said you heard insects in the walls. That's what they are. They infect a host and it turns into that," he pointed at the larva. "And from that the Wirrn is born." He twirled around. "We got to get out of here now!" he screamed to them. "Now, let's go!"

Everyone ran out of the room, more than eager to be as far away from that thing as possible.

"Rose!" the Doctor called. She twirled around sending one last sorrowful thought for Clive and ran.

Soon they were back in the corridor that was blocked. Rose could hear the scratching clearly now and by the harried look on everyones faces they could hear it too. Annabelle was nowhere to be seen. The Doctor used the sonic-screwdriver to lock the door behind him. If that thing that used to be Clive hatched a locked door wouldn't hold them at bay forever but it would hopefully slow them down.

"We need to clear a path right now!" the Doctor declared and rushed over, Rose quickly joined him. She helped him to lift debris out of the way. It felt good to no longer be a burden. To be useful.

The scratching was growing in strength. It felt like it was breathing down their necks. The others swiftly joined them. They were tearing things away, desperately trying to clear the way when something hit the door. It banged against it, scratched at it, noise rising behind it. An insectile noise.

"Hurry!" the Doctor screamed.

The Doctor, Rose and Tom struggled to lift a particularly heavy metal beam out of the way. Something banged against the door again and again. Adrenaline was rushing through Rose's blood urging her to move faster. Faster, faster. She had to move faster. It banged again and the door flew opened. Out spilled insects. Hundreds of them. Both Ford and Hannah screamed. They were a lot bigger than regular insects and quicker.

The Doctor clasped his hands around Rose's waist and hoisted her up onto the debris.

"GO!" he screamed. But she turned around and held out her hand helping first Hannah up and then Ford.

"Go, go, go!" she told them and both scrambled away, beginning to push and lift stuff out of the way, desperately trying to get through. The Doctor helped Tom up and Tom hurried over on hands and knees to help Hannah and Ford. Rose held out her hand for the Doctor. He glanced back at the coming swarm of insects. Insects as big as a forearm, crawling up the walls, running towards him across the floor. "DOCTOR!" she screamed.

The Doctor twirled back around. He clasped her hand and she helped to haul him up. They hurried over to the others. They weren't making particularly good time and the Wirrn were coming.

"Big bugs," Rose muttered. "Big, giant bloody big bugs."

"Oh, these are nothing," the Doctor muttered. "Babies."

"They get bigger!?" Ford exclaimed.

"Um...yeah... much bigger," the Doctor admitted.

"Wonderful," Tom muttered as he pushed debris out of the way with the help of Hannah. They cleared a hole. Everyone stared down into it worriedly. There was no knowing if that would lead anywhere. Going down it could mean they got trapped. Rose looked around in desperation. There was nowhere else to go. The first of the newborn Wirrn were coming up towards them. Rose groaned and jumped into the hole they had created. She landed on the floor and found the debris had fallen to create a tunnel through it.

"Come on!" she called up to the others. "I think we can get through!"

Rose crawled in. It was a tight squeeze and at some sections she had to get down flat on her stomach and pull herself through. She could hear grunting and complaining behind her as the others followed. But that was not all she could hear. There were scratching all around them. A part of her feared that by the time they got out from under the debris the insects would be everywhere. But they couldn't turn back. There was nowhere to go but forwards. Suddenly there was a scream. A human scream twisted in pain and fear.

"Oh my god hurry!" Someone yelled from further back. Rose thought it might be Hannah. Rose pulled herself forwards. She cut her leg against some sharp piece of metal and stifled a cry but she didn't slow. There was no time for slowing down or checking the wound. She scrambled onwards, praying the others were keeping up behind her.

Finally they seemed to reach the edge of the fallout. Rose scrambled up on her hands and knees and pushed herself to her feet. She quickly twirled around and found Tom coming out behind her. She took a hold of his arm and helped him to his feet. He was sweating and shaking. Next was Hannah. Both Rose and Tom helped pull her out. Then there was no one.

Rose stared at the dark hole they had come out of. But no one else emerged. She felt panic chasing her heart into a canter, her blood rushing in her ears. No. She got down on her hands and knees, shining her torch into the opening.

"Doctor!" she called into the darkness. No response. "Doctor!" she screamed again, hearing the panic in her voice. Hands grabbed her and tried to pull her away. She struggled against them. "Let me go!" she growled, trying to twist free.

"Rose, we got to go!" Tom tried to tell her but she wasn't listening. "Rose!"

"No!" she insisted, trying to crawl back into the darkness. "I have to get him!"

"He's gone," Tom told her, not unkindly. "He's gone Rose. We got to go!" She twisted free.

"No!" She dove into the hole only to have Tom grab her and pull her back out. He got his arms around her and dragged her to her feet.

"Stop!" he insisted. "Stop!"

But Rose wouldn't stop, couldn't stop. Tom shook her hard to get her attention.

"I promised him I'd get you out," he was saying. "I swore!"

"NO!" was all Rose could form as a reply. She wouldn't leave, not without him, never without him.

"Doctor!" Tears were starting to stream down her face, unrivalled fear clogging up her throat. Tom pulled her away while she struggled. She couldn't even hear the insects getting closer, their feet tapping rapidly against the walls as they rushed towards them. All she could hear was the ringing in her ears, the frantic pounding of her heart.

"Help me!" Tom begged Hannah. She grabbed Rose and helped Tom drag her away while Rose struggled. Tom's and Hannah's eyes were flying frantically about. The insects were crawling across the walls, the light from their wrist-torches shining of their glistening bodies.

Hannah stumbled and fell to the floor. One of the beetle-like insects was suddenly on her leg. She screamed. Tom managed to kick it off her. Hannah scrambled back up, tears of fear and panic tracing down her cheeks. Tom gave Rose a hard shake and spun her around in his arms. He yanked her within an inch of his face.

"You are going to get us killed!" he screamed at her. Rose's eyes finally focused on the two of them.

She couldn't let them die. It's not what the Doctor would have wanted. A hundred different moments flashed by behind her eyes. Moments of the Doctor. Always helping. Never thinking of himself. She couldn't be selfish. She had to help Tom and Hannah get out. She watched as the insects spilled out of the hole they had crawled through and she pushed him away, her Doctor to the very back of her mind. It took every ounce of strength she possessed to turn away. It hurt, physically hurt just the thought of leaving him but she had to do it. He was strong, resourceful, clever. If he was still alive he would find his way out. And she had to believe he was alive because the thought of him gone was enough to send her to her knees.

Rose pulled free of Tom's hold and stomped on a bug that was inches away from his leg. It made a horribly squishy noise as it splattered under her foot. It wasn't like stepping on a small beetle or a spider. It was more like stepping on a cat or something. Rose fought the urge to throw up. She gave them both a nod.

"Let's go," she said and the three of them took off running.

They ran flat out, jumping over most of the obstacles in their way while the insects scurried with them across the walls. Babies, the Doctor had said. They were nothing but babies. They turned a corner and skidded to a halt. Nothing but babies.

Before them towered an insect the size of a large man, it's body sleek and black, it's mandibles snapping at them. It was up on its hind-legs, the squealing sound it was emitting sending shivers of fear down Rose's spine. It was something out of a nightmare. The kind of ones you woke up screaming from. She stared in horror for the blink of second, frozen in absolute fear. She had no doubt those mandibles could crush a mans skull and suck the marrow out of bones.

Rose got a hold of Tom's shirt and yanked him away. Suddenly another one came up at their right. Hannah screamed as it got a hold of Tom. Rose looked around in desperation for any kind of weapon. The Wirrn in front of her hit her and sent her flying. Rose knocked into the wall and slid to the ground with a grunt. Oh, that hurt.

The Wirrn was screeching and coming for her. Her hands ran along the ground until her fingers closed around a lead pipe. She picked it up and struck out. She hit the Wirrm hard. It screeched and stumbled. Rose scrambled to her feet, running past the momentary stunned Wirrn. The other Wirrn was bent over Tom, its mandibles snapping at him. Rose hit it over the head. It screeched and Rose hit it again. Hannah stumbled over and grabbed Tom, pulling him to his feet.

They all turned and ran. The large Wirrn seemed to be calling the smaller ones to it. They were clearing off the wall, showing a door that there hadn't been any hope of them seeing when the Wirrn had been crawling all over it. They kicked Wirrn out of the way as they ran for the door. Tom yanked the door opened and ushered the girls inside. They found themselves in another hallway. Rose used the lead-pipe to secure the door. They ran down the hallway.

"We have to find somewhere to stop," Hannah breathed. "I can't run anymore." There were a few doors lining the hallway. Rose picked one at random but it was locked. Tom yanked at another one. Also locked. A smile spread on Rose's lips as she spotted a door marked Stairwell 4B.

"Over here!" she called to the others. She pulled the door opened and rushed up the staircase, the others close behind.

Hannah was panting harder than Rose and Tom but Rose could still feel it. She was tired. They needed a moment. She stopped at a landing and opened a door marked with the number twelve. She peaked out. It was a large room lined with rows of desks and computers, some of the desks had tipped over, the computers lying broken on the ground and many of the ceiling tiles had fallen down. There was a lounge area with water coolers and a couple of couches in one corner. It seemed to mostly be standing.

"Come on," Rose told them and slunk in. Rose was looking around as she hurried over to the sofas, looking for any movement, any threat. But everything seemed calm for the moment. They put Hannah down in one of the couches and Tom got her a drink of water. Rose was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, still surveying the room, trying her damnedest not to think about the Doctor.

Tom nudged her arm, holding out a cup of water for her. She took it without looking at him. She swallowed the water in one gulp. She didn't notice that her hands were shaking until Tom clasped the one holding the empty cup.

"He saved our lives," he said. "He died saving all our lives." Rose pulled her hand out of his.

"He's not dead," she told him firmly.

"Rose..." he said sadly. "...those things were everywhere. He couldn't have made it out." Rose pulled her hand out of his. She squashed the paper mug and let it fall to the floor.

"He's not dead!" she insisted and walked away, heading back the way they'd come.

"Where are you going?!" Hannah called after her. Rose twirled around and glared at them.

"I'm going back to get him!' she told them. Hannah rose out of the sofa.

"You can't!" she exclaimed. "Those things...!"

"I don't care!" she spat. "I'm not leaving him!"

Rose was so worked up she didn't notice the sudden look of absolute shook on both Tom's and Hannah's faces. "I'm not leaving him!" she repeated.

"Rose."

She froze. It was his voice. She twirled around and there he stood. Pinstriped suit, chucks and spiky hair. Alive.

"You're alive," she breathed. "You're alive."

"Last I checked, yeah," he answered, his smile a touch sad. Rose marched over to him and slapped his arm as hard as she could.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" she told him. "You hear me! Never!" She hit his chest with her closed fist. The Doctor caught her hand, stopping her from hitting him again. She tried to pull free but he didn't release her. Within a second he had caught her up in his arms and pulled her to his chest. She was too exhausted to fight him. Before long her body relaxed and she let him hold her.

Tears of anger and relief streamed down her face, her hands still clenched into fists. The Doctor ran his hand soothingly up and down her back whispering comforting words in her ear that she couldn't understand.

"What are you saying?" she mumbled into his shirt. He kissed the top of her head and for a long while he didn't answer.

"It's not important," was all he said.

Rose pulled away from him. She felt his reluctance to let her go by his hands lingering for a moment at her waist. But she stepped back, out of the protective circle of his arms. She felt it as she did, that hum under her skin receding. Low- level connection, he'd said. It didn't feel low-level, Rose thought a bit bitterly. His eyes lingered on her but she was too much of a coward to look up and meet his gaze, too scared that she would see what Tom had talked about. _He looks at you like loving you is killing him_. Brave Rose Tyler, a coward.

"How on earth did you get out of there?" Hannah asked, astounded. The Doctor put his hands casually in his trouser pockets.

"Weeell," he drew the word out. "I'm just really clever," he said and gave Hannah a smile.

"So what do we do now?" Tom asked. "Are we taking the stairs?"

"Those ones can only take us up a couple of more floors," the Doctor told them, pointing with his thumb behind him to indicate the stairwell they had just used. "Then it's collapsed."

"Are we even above ground yet?" Rose asked, looking around but seeing no windows.

"No," the Doctor shook his head. "We're still underground. Five more floors to reach the surface."

"Five!?" Hannah exclaimed. "I thought we were closer."

"You know, you lot," the Doctor said, sounding a tad irritated. "For working here you all have an abysmal knowledge of the building."

"The compound's huge," Rose explained. "You usually just stick to your own department."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, like they were all idiots.

"Doctor," Rose said, thinking it best to get his mind on a different track before he really got into insulting them. He turned his eyes on her. "Annabelle Conn, she said there were more things to fear than those Wirrn and that they were all loose now."

"What does that mean?" Hannah asked.

"It means they were experimenting on a lot of things and I guess they're loose now," Tom said, carefully. All eyes fixed on him. "The Conn sisters they ran the Basement. I was just recently recruited to work security down here but I've seen enough."

"What kind of experiments?" the Doctor asked.

"On creatures. All the rooms down there hold different ones. One room was just black and I saw another one with a statue in it. An angel statue. I was warned to stay away from that one. But there were others too. They have Cybermen suits and I heard they even have dead Daleks. They cut the ones they can opened. Splicing."

The Doctor gave Rose a glare.

"Oh, so you think I knew of this now do you?" Rose snarled at him.

"No, but you were suppose to be cleaning this place up weren't you?"

"I've been trying," Rose growled.

"Yeah, until you decided to go stop a damn explosion and getting yourself killed."

"What choice did I have?"

"To not to!"

Rose sighed in frustration. "Right, I should have just left it be. Let people die, 'cus that is exactly what you would've done is it?"

"No, but I'm not you," the Doctor told her.

"What?"

"You're important!"

"And you're not?" Rose said, rolling her eyes. The Doctor took a step closer to her.

"To me," he growled, glaring at her. "You're important to me." Rose glared back at him, trying hard to not let his words get to her. But they were. How could they not.

Rose had to fight the urge to yell at him that he was important too. So important. When she'd feared she'd lost him it had taken all her strength just to keep breathing. She might never be able to forgive him for what he'd done to her but he would never stop being important. That was a truth she couldn't fight no matter how much she might want to.


	11. Chapter 11 - An end in fire

Chapter 11 - An end in fire

The Doctor was sitting at one of the desks, using his sonic-screwdriver to get the computer working. Finally the screen flared to life. Hannah was standing behind him and Rose was sitting on the sofa, Tom kneeling down in front of her, inspecting her leg.

"You said you just cut it?" he asked.

"Yeah, when we were crawling through the debris," Rose answered. She tore her eyes away from the Doctor and Hannah and looked at Tom. "What?" she asked.

"Well, because it's almost healed," Tom said. Rose glanced down at her leg. There was a tear in her jeans and blood but Tom was right. The wound was practically healed. "Do you have any idea how that's possible?" Tom asked. Rose shook her head. She had an idea but not one she could share.

"Ah!" The Doctor called. Rose jumped to her feet and hurried over to him, Tom trailing behind. "I found us a route to the surface!" He was pointing at the screen, displaying a map of the building. "We take the stairs up the two floors, then cut through this room, take that corridor, down those stairs, through whatever this area here is to stairwell 4A and hope there wont be anything blocking our way. Simple."

"Yeah, right, simple, nothing to it," Rose muttered, thinking of the Wirrn and who knew what Annabelle Conn was doing.

The Doctor shot to his feet.

"I saved the schematics to my screwdriver if anything unforeseen should occur." He turned around. "Let's go." He hurried past them and led them out of the room.

They rushed up the stairs, the Doctor taking two steps in one bound as though he was simply to impatient to do it normally. As they reached the second landing Rose saw what the Doctor had been talking about. There was a big chunk of the stairs missing and the rest looked unsafe to say the least. The Doctor used the sonic to get the door opened.

He walked in carefully, looking around. Hannah followed him, then Tom and Rose last. The room was pitch-black like everything else. They used the torches on their wrists, shining the beams around. From what Rose could see, the floor, walls and ceiling were all white. They were standing in a sort of corridor. On each side were rooms incased in glass. Rose walked over to one, shining her torch-light inside. It was some sort of lab and in the middle of it was a gurney with a creature strapped to it. Rose shone the light at it. The creature didn't seem to have skin, she could see the muscles, half of its face covered with what looked like bone. Rose realised that she recognised it. She could even name it. Sycorax. She glanced over at the Doctor. He was by another room, looking inside it.

The Sycorax had tried to invade her Earth when he had been new. Just when the Doctor had regenerated. She remembered how scared she'd been. Scared that he was too different to be the Doctor anymore. But he had proved her wrong. He had saved them all and showed her that even though his face was different and even his speech and mannerisms, at the core it was still that same man that she had run away with.

Rose looked back at the Sycorax. It had wires and tubes coming out of its chest. They must have been experimenting on it, just like Tom had said. Rose didn't have much love for the Sycorax but surely no one deserved that. She turned and walked over to the Doctor where he sat hunkered down in front of the glass of another room. Rose started as she saw what was on the other side of the glass.

It looked like a human woman except her skin was silver. She had horrible burns all down the side of her throat and down her arm and she was blind. Her eyes gouged out. She had her hand pressed against the glass as she lay on the floor. Just like the Sycorax she had wires and tupes attached to her.

The Doctor put his hand against hers on the glass.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry." The silver woman opened her mouth as though she was screaming except they could hear nothing through the thick glass. But even though they could not hear her they could see all the pain and agony through every line of her beautiful, marred face.

"Can't we get in?" Rose asked, her voice unbearably sad. "Can't we help her?"

"These rooms are deadlock-sealed," the Doctor explained, the same sadness in his own voice. "I can't open them."

The woman's mouth went slack, her eyelids dropping down over her empty eye-sockets. Her head fell against the glass and she died while they could do nothing but watch.

Rose reached out and clasped the Doctor's hand, twining her fingers with his. For a moment she felt through the bond all the pain he felt for the dead woman in front of him. For all the creatures hidden away in these rooms, tortured and hurt and alone and she wanted to cry. She gave his hand a squeeze and he returned it instantly. She felt how grateful he was that she was there, that at that moment she didn't abandon him. Rose wanted to tell him that she never would. Like she had promised but she didn't know if that could be true anymore so she said nothing.

The Doctor suddenly bounded up, his hand slipping out of hers.

"Let's go," he growled, not looking at any of them.

They made their way slowly through the room. All the glass-rooms held different creatures. All of them were dead or dying. It must be at least twenty of them. Rose could tell the Doctor was struggling to not start yelling at Rose and the other's, simply to get all his frustration out at not being able to help. Then he stopped dead. He shone his torch at the wall in front of them. Written in big block letter were the words, LAB 7. Which meant there were at least six more of these. The Doctor twirled around. His eyes fixed on Tom.

"You worked down here!" he spat. "You were ok with this were you?!" Tom took a step back.

"I...I..." he stuttered. Rose clasped the Doctor's arm.

"Come on, Doctor," she said. "Yelling at Tom won't help." He turned on her.

"Oh, Tom is it now?" he growled. His scowl was enough to make even the bravest back away but Rose stayed firm.

"Stop it," she told him. "We don't have time for this."

Something made Rose glance past his shoulder and her eyes widened in surprise. "How did that get here?" she asked and shone her torch at a statue that had suddenly appeared behind Hannah. The Doctor twirled around and he froze.

"Hannah," he said, carefully. She looked at him with incomprehension. "Turn around," he said. "Rose keep looking at it. Don't blink. Don't even blink."

"What is it?" Rose asked as Hannah turned around. She stumbled back as she saw the statue that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

"That's that angel thing," Tom exclaimed.

"Everyone, just keep looking at it!" the Doctor ordered.

"What is it!?" Rose repeated with more urgency. It was the statue of an angel, but it looked broken, cracks breaking up the stone.

"A weeping angel," the Doctor explained. "It can only move as long as it's not seen. Keep looking at it and it can't hurt you. But blink and you're dead."

They all began backing away, everyone's eyes fixed on the angel. The Doctor held out his arm, urging Rose back ahead of him, keeping himself between her and the angel. They reached the door out of the room.

"Just keep looking at it," the Doctor told them as he turned around and used the sonic-screwdriver to swiftly unlock the door. He got Rose out of it first. "Come on," he told the other two. They hurried out after Rose, looking at the angel for as long as they could. The Doctor backed out of the room. He threw the door closed and locked it in record time. A bang sounded from the other side and the door shook. The Doctor took a step back. "Run," he said.

They ran through the hallway as the sound of the angel banging against the door chased them. They reached the stairs and ran down them just as the banging stopped. The angel was through it. The Doctor glanced back but did not see it.

"Hurry!" he screamed at them.

Rose skipped the last couple of steps, jumping down and ran for the big metal-door ahead of them. It wasn't locked so she pushed it opened and got hit by a wave of cold air. She turned back to the others and saw the angel on the stairs a hairsbreadth away from the Doctor.

"Angel!" she screamed. She stepped to the side to let the others run past her while she kept her eyes on the angel. It didn't look like it had before. All benevolent. It's arms were reached out towards them, its nails like claws and its face twisted, razor sharp fangs protruding from its mouth.

The Doctor stopped as he reached Rose and turned around, his eyes on the angel. He clasped Rose's hand and pulled her with him. They backed inside the cold room. Rose reached for the door to push it closed. But just as they were going to slam it shut a stone hand appeared in the opening and stopped them. They had lost sight of the angel only for a second. It moved unbelievably fast.

"Back up, back up," the Doctor urged. "Where are we?" the Doctor asked. Rose looked around while the Doctor kept his eyes on the angel's hand.

"You don't want to know," Rose said as she saw the horror surrounding them.

She had thought it couldn't possibly get any worse after those labs but it could. There were tubes lined up along the walls. Tubes holding creatures that were clearly mixes between different races. She saw one that she thought might be part Wirrn and part human. Splicing, Tom had said. These were all the failed test-subjects, kept fresh for further research in those tanks. Rose fought the impulse to throw up. How could this have been down here and she had never known? How could she have let this happen? She should have looked closer into Torchwood. She shouldn't have been so naive as to think the old regime was dead. How many had suffered at the hands of the Conn sisters? Hundreds? Thousands?

"Rose, tell me!" the Doctor demanded.

"Failed experiments," Rose had to struggle to get the words out. "Preserved in liquid filled tanks."

"How many?" the Doctor asked.

"Fifty? Sixty?" She saw the Doctor's hands clench into fists. "I got the angel," Rose said sadly.

The Doctor tore his eyes away from it and looked around the room. His hearts broke as he looked at the creatures in those tanks. He didn't care what it took, he would burn this place to the ground.

A door suddenly opened at their left. Both the Doctor and Rose turned at the movement on instinct. Annabelle Conn came out carrying a metal suitcase. She stopped dead as she spotted them.

"The angel!" Tom screamed. Rose's head flipped back. The angel was inside the room. "I got it!" Tom called.

"I really didn't think any of you would make it this far," Annabelle Conn was saying. "You really have quite surprised me."

The Doctor rushed towards her. "Your days are numbered!" he screamed at her. But he stopped dead as Annabelle raised a gun, pointing it straight at him.

"Or maybe I should be pointing it at her," Annabelle said and aimed the gun at Rose instead. "I took a look at the security footage from when you murdered my sister completely unprovoked."

"Unprovoked!?" Rose screamed. "She tortured me! She would have killed the Doctor!"

Annabelle leaned her head to the side as she regarded Rose. "What makes you think she would have killed your Doctor? Unless you could read her mind there was no indication she was doing anything but leaving." Rose clamped her mouth shut. "Interesting," Annabelle allowed. "You are an interesting thing Rose Tyler. Maybe my sister was right and you are the key we need."

"You won't get anywhere near her as long as I breathe," the Doctor told her, anger in every line of his face. Annabelle turned the gun back to the Doctor.

"Then perhaps I should just kill you," Annabelle concluded simply, talking about murder as though it was nothing more than grocery shopping.

"No!" Rose called out and got in-between the Doctor and Annabelle.

"Rose, don't," the Doctor warned. Annabelle rolled her eyes at them.

"Honestly," she sighed. "One minute you act as though you can't stand to have him touch you and the next you want to take a bullet for him? Make up your mind."

"It's simple," Rose hissed. "If anyone's gonna shoot him it's gonna be me."

The Doctor clasped Rose's arm, trying to pull her back, but she tore her arm free. Annabelle laughed. It wasn't the giggle of her sister it was a throaty sort of laugh.

"Lovely," Annabelle said, smiling. "But I really must be going now." The smile disappeared from her face. "I don't suppose you would just go with me," Annabelle said, looking at Rose. "Nor that you would let me take her," she said looking at the Doctor.

"No," Rose hissed.

"Never," the Doctor vowed.

"I guess your test results and blood and tissue samples simply must be enough then." Annabelle indicated the suitcase in her hand.

"You have samples of my blood in there?" Rose asked in disbelief.

"Along with all our other research, yes," Annabelle confirmed. She glanced at her watch. "As I said, I really must be going." She moved towards another door, her gun still pointed at Rose and the Doctor. "And if I were you I'd try my best to be out of here within the next thirty minutes or so," she told them.

"And why is that?" Rose asked. The smile returned to Annabelle's lips.

"Boom," she said and winked at them.

Annabelle was so focused on Rose and the Doctor that she didn't pay attention to Tom and Hannah. Tom jumped her from behind. He desperately reached for her gun, trying to wrestle it out of her grip. Annabelle screamed in frustration and tried to twist free from him. Both Rose and the Doctor ran for them. A shot went off. The loud noise echoed through the large, cold room.

"Get off me!" Annabelle screamed at Tom. But he held on and Annabelle's movements were hindered by her big metal suitcase that she refused to relinquish. Tom knocked her knee out from under her and Annabelle went down. Tom finally managed to wrench the gun away from her.

Annabelle screamed in anger and stumbled to her feet, clutching the suitcase to her chest. "Ignorant, simple minded idiots," she hissed at them. "There is so much more at stake than you could ever comprehend!" Rose's eyes suddenly fell on Hannah. She was lying on the floor, clutching her hands to her stomach, blood was spilling out between her fingers. That stray bullet. It had hit her. Rose forgot about Annabelle and ran for the girl.

Rose kneeled down next to her.

"It's alright, Hannah," she said, her voice shaking. "You're gonna be ok." Rose took her head and put it in her lap, thinking she shouldn't have to lie on the cold floor. Rose helped her press down on the wound, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. "You're gonna be ok," Rose repeated. She looked up, glaring at Annabelle Conn who was still backing away from them, the suitcase still clutched to her chest like a lifebuoy.

"You shot her!" Rose screamed at the woman. Annabelle looked over at Rose and Hannah.

"I am sorry about that," Annabelle said. "Human life shouldn't be wasted lightly."

"And what makes human life so much more valuable?!" the Doctor spat.

"Oh, come now Doctor," Annabelle said patiently, just a hint of strain to her voice. "If it is alien it is ours," she said and smiled.

"And what about Clive and Ford!" Rose screamed.

"Casualties are to be expected in order to push the boundaries of science," Annabelle explained simply. She spoke the words as though she had said them a thousand times. Like a mantra.

"Progress is worthless if you have to commit murder to accomplish it," the Doctor countered.

Annabelle sighed. "Semantics."

"I can't decide who is more insane, you or your sister," Rose growled. Annabelle's eyes focused dead on Rose.

"My sister was born to save me," she said, her face betraying no real emotion. "I've been dying since I was six years old. My parents had her only so I could have the perfect donor. Rare blood-types and all that. They were ever so clever." The cold hearted woman smiled at them and Rose felt sick. She clutched Hannah's hand and the girl squeezed it weakly in return.

Dr. Conn might have been a touch insane but she had loved her sister. She had done all these horrible things in order to save her. But why had Annabelle done them? For herself? For progress? Because she simply could?

"You're despicable," Rose hissed.

"Despicable? No, Rose Tyler I simply know what I want and don't let anyone stop me from fighting tooth and nail to get it." She gave Rosa a mocking smile. "Unlike you."

Rose gaze flickered a moment towards the Doctor when a sudden realisation struck her. Where was the angel? Hannah must have been the one watching it and when she got shot it was free to move. Rose raised her torch, running the beam frantically around the room. It was no where to be seen. The Doctor backed away from Annabelle. Back to the others. Something told Rose he knew something the others didn't. Tom was still pointing the gun at Annabelle. The Doctor stopped next to him. He put his hand over the gun, urging him to lower it. Reluctantly Tom did.

"Let her go," he told him. Annabelle narrowed her eyes at them. "Her time's up." Rose lowered her arm, leaving Annabelle in sudden darkness.

They heard her gasp and the Doctor raised his torch for just a moment. They saw the angel, its arm clasped around Annabelle's throat. Annabelle struggled desperately to breathe.

"I can't die like this," she gasped and the Doctor lowered his torch back down. They heard the horrible sound of bone snapping.

The Doctor scrambled over to Rose and Hannah.

"The angel," Hannah breathed weakly.

"Don't worry about that. It got what it came for," the Doctor said. "It's dying, It won't bother us." The Doctor ran the sonic over Hannah, scanning. Rose caught his eye and he gave her the tiniest shake of his head. Rose swallowed hard.

"It's gonna be ok," Rose told her again. Hannah looked up at her.

"I thought you...you didn't even like me," she said, struggling to get the words out. Rose smiled kindly down at her.

"I was just jealous of you," Rose said softly. Hannah looked at her in confusion. "You were helping the Doctor," Rose explained. "You were doing what I used to do, what I couldn't do anymore. It made me miss it so much more."

"I'm sorry," Hannah breathed but Rose immediately shook her head.

"Don't be sorry," Rose told her. "You were brilliant, ya hear. Brilliant. We would never have made it without you."

"She's right Hannha," the Doctor said softly. "You were absolutely brilliant." Hannah smiled weakly up at them. She turned her gaze on the Doctor.

"You wer... were wrong, you kn... know." And with those words her eyes flutter closed. Her last breath left her lips.

Rose felt tears falling down her cheeks. She hadn't even gotten a chance to know her. But Hannah had been strong. She had made it so far. It wasn't fair. She should have lived. The Doctor put his hand over Rose's while she was still clutching Hannah's.

"Rose," he said softly. "We got to go. You heard Annabelle. This place is going to blow up. We gotta go."

Reluctantly Rose let the Doctor pull her to her feet. The Doctor turned to Tom.

"Run," he said. "I got her. Run." Tom watched Rose for a second than he turned and ran. The Doctor squeezed Rose's blood soaked hand and let his mind bind with hers. Giving her all the strength he could. "Come on," he said. Rose nodded and they ran.

They ran through the broken Torchwood halls, the Doctor clasping Rose's hand in his. Together they ran. They found the door marked Stairwell 4A. They rushed up the stairs, Tom's torchlight ahead of them like a beacon in the darkness.

The first tremor shook the building when they still had two floors left to the surface. Rose stumbled thinking, this was it. They wouldn't make it. The Doctor pulled her back on her feet.

"It's the generators!" he screamed and dragged her with him. "One is set to ignite the next and so on! There's still time!" They ran up the stairs, Rose not caring that her chest was burning with the exertion. There was no stopping. Stopping meant dying. And she would not die in that place.

Another tremor. Bigger than the last one. Suddenly there was nothing but air beneath Rose's feet. She fell as the stairs collapsed under her. She was yanked to a sudden stop as the Doctor clasped her hand. Her legs dangled in the empty air.

"I got you!" the Doctor vowed. Rose looked up at him and saw sweat beading his forehead. She struggled to find some kind of purchase for her feet but there was nothing but air. "Give me your other hand!" the Doctor screamed. Rose threw her arm out towards him and amazingly he caught it.

He dragged her back up. Rose could feel the rest of the stairs crackling beneath them. Another tremor and they were both on their feet running for their lives.

They burst out of the stairwell at ground level.

"This way!" Tom screamed ahead of them. They ran through a corridor, turned left down another and then right. Tom had stopped at a door up ahead. "It's locked!" he screamed back at them. "I don't have my keycard!"

"Move!" the Doctor barked, pulling his screwdriver out of his inner pocket. He shone the blue light at the card-reader, the familiar humming accompanying it.

Then he screamed in frustration and slammed his hand against the wall. "No!"

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Rose asked, her voice desperate, they had to get through that door.

"Deadlock-seal," he growled. "I can't...I can't open it." Both Rose and Tom's faces drained of colour. No. Tom turned and yanked on the door handle, screaming, banging frantically on the door. The Doctor was leaning against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. He lifted his head and his eyes found Rose. She walked over to him. She could see all the agony bleeding out of his beautiful dark eyes.

Tom stopped banging and cursing at the door and slunk defeated to the floor. Another tremor shook the building. Rose took the Doctor's hand. It's alright, she mouthed silently. The Doctor shook his head.

"You need to stop saying that when everything is anything but alright," he said.

"I've said that before?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded. He reached out his hand and curled a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. Her hair was coated with dust and she had dirt on her face. She was a mess. The most beautiful mess he'd ever seen.

"When you were dying in my arms," he said, his eyes so unbelievably sad. "I couldn't understand how you could say that." He took a deep breath, his hand lingering at her cheek. "How could anything be alright if you were leaving me."

Rose reached up her other hand and curled it around his.

"I'm here now," she said. "I'm not leaving you." The Doctor took her and pulled her into his arms.

He held her to him so fiercely nothing short of armageddon was going to tear her away from him. Perhaps not even then. Rose wrapped her arms around him.

 _My Doctor_ , she thought and if she wasn't mistaken she got a softly whispered,

 _My Rose_ from his mind to hers.

She buried her face against his shoulder and waited for it all to end in fire.


	12. Chapter 12 - Aftermath

Chapter 12 - Aftermath 

The moments before were dominated by silence. No one said a word, barely even took a breath. They just waited. Waited for the end. Rose had one fearful thought that it would hurt but then the Doctor's arms tightened around her and a comforting touch of reassurance brushed across the bond. Rose tried to do the same for the Doctor but she was too new to it to know if she succeeded. The Doctor leaned down and nuzzled her neck. _I feel you_ , she felt as a soft whisper against her mind.

 _It won't hurt_.

 _It will be quick._

 _Don't be afraid._

Rose squeezed her eyes shut and held on as tightly as she could. If this was the last she was to feel she wanted to feel him. Only him.

It took a while before the beep registered in either of their minds. Rose and the Doctor looked up at the exact same time. For a moment they stared at each other in confusion. Then they both turned to the card-reader right next to the Doctor's elbow. They both stared at the green light and then the door was yanked opened. There stood Mickey.

All three of them stared in disbelief at him.

"Well, come on then," Mickey told them. "This is no time for a snog, the buildings about to blow up." Rose stumbled back from the Doctor and he released her. Tom struggled up on his feet.

Mickey turned around and ran. The three of them ran after him. They came out into the lobby, the great big glass windows letting in the late afternoon sun. The sudden light blinded them. They had spent so much time in the darkness Rose had half expected it to be just as dark outside. Mickey was accompanied by a Torchwood Search and Rescue Team. They urged them all to hurry.

"We got less than four minutes!" Mickey called over his shoulder.

They ran through the lobby, practically crashing through the front doors. They ran flat out. The ground shook and they all instantly knew that this was it.

"In the car!" Mickey screamed. Everyone threw themselves into the back of the tactical vehicle belonging to the TSR-team. The driver floored it.

No one had bothered to close the doors to the back of the van. They swung back and forth as the car turned. Rose and the Doctor sat and stared out as a deafening sound, deep and rolling like thunder echoed through the entire city. Then it all collapsed. Metal beams crumbled and glass shattered, the whole building looking like it folded in on itself. The Doctor and Rose watched as the Torchwood Tower disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust.

Two from the TSR- team leaned out and grabbed the doors and hastily pulled them closed, stopping the dust-cloud that was rolling towards them from getting into the van. They felt it as it hit. The car shaking and the sound of thousands of small stones hitting it, the noise hammering in their ears like hail.

Mickey clasped Rose's shoulder lightly to get her attention. "You ok?" he asked. She nodded. Rose wanted to thank him but it didn't feel like a simple 'thanks' was quite enough.

"I'm ok too, thanks for asking," the Doctor cut in, sounding truly affronted. Mickey rolled his eyes at this statement.

"Well as long as we're announcing our wellbeing," Tom called out. "I'm ok too." He raised his hand and gave a little wave.

"Good for you," the Doctor told him with a grin. Nothing like narrowly escaping a life threatening situation to put a smile on the Doctor's face.

"Me too," one of the TSR-guys cut it.

"And me," another one announced. Soon they were all happily declaring that they were ok. The Doctor turned his grin on Rose and it took less than two seconds before she smiled back at him, unable to help herself.

Rose shook her head. Only the Doctor could get everyone to smile after a catastrophe. Rose's smile quickly faltered and she felt a pang in her chest as she thought of how many lives might be lost in that rubble heap that used to be Torchwood. She turned to Mickey.

"Do we have a death and injured count?" she asked him quietly.

"Now that you're here," he looked at Rose and Tom. "We have a total of five people, who were supposed to be in the building at the time, missing."

"Five?" she asked in surprise. Mickey nodded. "Who?"

"Clive Bartley, Ford Velcon, Hannah Sky, Annabelle Conn and Elsa Conn." Mickey counted them off on his fingers. Those were all the ones that had been with them. That they had personally lost.

"Everyone else was already out by the time the first tremors shook the building and the first sections collapsed."

"How?" Rose breathed in disbelief.

"Fire alarm," the Doctor said, clearly having heard the conversation.

"I had Mickey trigger it before I went down to get you. To clear me a path."

"And to cause a hell of a ruckus," Mickey cut in.

"But it's not just like pulling a switch or putting a lighter under a fire-detector," Rose objected. "They wouldn't have called a building-wide evacuation unless there was an actual fire."

"That's why I sat an actual fire," Mickey declared rather proudly. "Not a big one. Just some ferns and stuff I never fancied in the cafeteria." Rose stared at the pair of them in disbelief.

"You did this together?" she asked, sounding as though that was the most unbelievable thing she could imagine.

"O' course," the Doctor said.

"You were in trouble," Mickey offered simply. "I might not be his biggest fan..." Mickey said, pointing at the Doctor. "...but it's not like there's anyone else I'd rather have on my team if it in involved saving you."

The van pulled to a stop. "Minimum safe distance reached," the driver called back to them. The TSR- team flung the back doors opened and bounded out of the van. Rose got out after the Doctor and Mickey and Tom followed her.

"Rose! Rose!" A crazy. wonderful blonde woman came running towards them. She pushed several people out the way who apparently didn't move away fast enough. Rose flung herself into her mother's arms. "You're alive. Oh, Rose. When you're father said the building was on fire and then something about it collapsing and Mickey said the Doctor had gone in to get you." Her mum was rambling, hugging her frantically. Rose smiled into her mother's hair.

"I love you mum," she mumbled. "You know that right?"

"Of course sweetheart," she said. Rose looked up and saw Pete Tyler coming towards them. Before Rose had a chance to break free from her mother Pete had thrown his arms around them and hugged them both.

"You got my TARDIS out right?" the Doctor leaned down and asked Mickey, a hint of trepidation in his voice. "Please don't tell me I have to dig her out of there," he said, brushing his arm in the general direction of the pile of rocks that used to be the Torchwood Tower.

"Yes, we got your box," Mickey sighed. "Though you have Pete to thank for it. What happened down there anyway? I know my little fire didn't cause half the building to collapse."

"Those Conn women," the Doctor answered evasively. "They were insane."

"Riiight," Mickey drew the word out slowly, sounding as though he didn't quite believe that simplified explanation. "Well Torchwood will undoubtedly want to debrief both you and Rose," Mickey said. The Doctor glanced over at Mickey, a question in his eyes. Mickey gave him a pointed look. "Yes," he answered the Doctor's unspoken question. "If you don't want to answer question you don't have an answer for I suggest you get out of here." Mickey clapped the Doctor on the back. "You're ride is parked on the truck back there." Mickey said pointing behind them.

The Doctor glanced back to the spot Mickey indicated and saw his TARDIS on a black unmarked truck. It felt unbelievable good seeing her again. It always did. He turned back to Rose where she stood, still surrounded by her family. The initial joy that had filled his chest when he had seen them together was slowly fading. How could he ever take her away from this, he thought. She deserved to have this. He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Some medic came up to him, asking if he needed medical assistance. He shook his head. People were running around every which way. Dust still spun in the air. He saw Tom hugging some brown-haired girl, Mickey was talking to Pete while Rose was still with her mother. He was the only one that didn't belong here. The only one out of time and space.

Rose finally pulled away from her mum. "Can we please just go home now," her mum was saying. "Tony's been alone with the nanny half the day. She must be going mad by now." Rose nodded. She turned around looking for the Doctor. There was a whirlwind of people running around. Medics and firemen and Torchwood operatives doing damage control. But nowhere did she see the Doctor. Rose moved away from her family, her eyes scanning over the many people, looking for the telltale sign of a slim figure and pinstriped suit. But the Doctor was nowhere to be seen.

"Doctor!" she called. She twirled around, her hair blowing into her face and dust getting in her eyes. She brushed her hair impatiently away. "Doctor!" She heard her mum calling her name, trying to get her attention.

But Rose hurried away, searching the crowd. Her eyes caught on something familiar and blue. The TARDIS. Of course. She smiled a little as she headed over to the wonderful blue box, her brief touch of panic quickly receding. Rose climbed up on the truck-bed. Her hand froze at the TARDIS -door. Should she knock? The key she still had was in a chain in her room at home. She'd always worn it before but had forgotten to put it on when she had left for Torchwood. She hadn't used it when she had found the TARDIS outside of Martha Jones's house because it had felt wrong. She supposed she had been scared to just barge in if the Doctor hadn't wanted her back. But what about now? If their relationship had been complicated and undefinable before it was nothing compared to now.

As Rose stood there debating with herself the TARDIS door suddenly opened itself. Just a crack. Rose sighed.

"Thinking I'm being an idiot are you?" Rose growled at the TARDIS. "You're probably right," she muttered as she pushed opened the door and stepped inside.

The minute she got beyond the doors she felt absolute calm sweep over her. She closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure. She didn't have to keep constant control while in the TARDIS. She could just let go, like having flexed a muscle for days and finally being able to relax it. Rose wandered carefully inside. God, how she loved this ship, she thought. She loved everything about it. It's haphazard-looking construction, the way she hummed in welcome, the way you could sometimes feel the ship twisting and shaping herself around you.

Rose ran her hand along the centre-console. Rose could feel her now in a way she hadn't quite been able to before. She knew now that what she'd felt after the gaming station, after she'd looked into the heart of the TARDIS, had been real. Rose had felt her. How alive she was. But it had still been too faint to truly define. It wasn't anymore.

So what have you done to our Doctor? Rose thought. Hidden him away?

"I really do think dampers are the way to go..." Rose twirled around at the sound of the Doctor's voice. He stopped dead and looked up from fiddling with his screwdriver. He looked around in confusion. "How...?" he stuttered. "This isn't were I was going." Rose smiled, thinking the TARDIS could be rather cheeky if she wanted to.

"Doctor?" Rose peaked out from behind the console. He started.

"Rose." He looked adorably lost as he looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I can go," Rose offered, thinking she must have disturbed him in the middle of something.

"No," he hastened to say. "I just thought you... ah... would be with your family."

"Yeah, we're heading back. Mum thinks Tony will have driven the nanny mad so..."

"Tony? Ah right, your baby brother. Yes, right." The Doctor turned his gaze back to the screwdriver in his hands. "Good."

"I just wanted to say thanks," Rose said. The Doctor's eyes flickered up to hers. "For coming to get me and everything." He leaned against the railing next to him.

"You know I'll always come for you," he said without looking at her.

"Yeah, but things are... different, complicated now," Rose pointed out. His eyes rose to meet hers again.

"Are they?" he asked, She couldn't interpret the strange tone he put to the words. She regarded him for a moment. Why did this feel so awkward? If there was one thing she didn't want it was to be awkward with the Doctor. No matter what he'd done to her he would always be a part of her. Whether she was with him or not.

"Doctor...-" she began.

"I need to ask you something," he interrupted her. Rose fell silent.

"Ok," she said, hesitantly. She wasn't sure she liked the sound of this. The Doctor pocketed his screwdriver and strolled over to the console. He stopped next to her, running his hand over a couple of switches without flipping them. He was silent for a long time.

"When you left..." he began, sounding so unsure and vulnerable it was scaring Rose. "When you left for Torchwood," he clarified. He turned his head and looked at her, his brown eyes carefully questioning. "Did you feel anything?" he asked.

Rose frowned at him. "What do you mean?" she asked, not at all sure what he was referring to. He drew in a hasty breath and pushed away, straightening.

"Forget it," he said. "You'd know if you did." He walked away from her, around the console. He drew the screen to him and turned the dials. "You better head back. Your mother's already worried about you."

"Doctor?"

"Best ride with them," he said. "The TARDIS is still a little unpredictable. She doesn't like this universe even if the walls are weak. Can't trust I can get her there properly."

"Ok," Rose allowed hesitantly.

She turned away and headed for the doors. She stopped halfway there.

"There was this strange pressure over my chest," she said, putting her hand over her heart, remembering how she hadn't quite been able to define what it had been but that it had steadily gotten more and more painful. "Is that what you mean?"

It took a long time for him to say anything.

"Did it hurt?" he finally asked, forcing the words out.

"Eventually," Rose answered. She turned back around, feeling a flicker of worry deep in her chest. The Doctor was standing, both hands clasping the edge of the console and his head hanging forwards in defeat. Rose swallowed audibly. "I'm guessing that's bad yeah?" she asked.

The Doctor straightened. "I was gonna leave," he said.

"Leave?"

"Yeah. You deserve to be with your family, Rose. You don't need me here to complicate your life." He wasn't looking at her and Rose felt her stomach twist into a knot. "But I can't leave you now," he said.

"Why not now?" she asked even though a part of her feared the answer. The Doctor looked over at her.

"Because it's gonna hurt," he said.

Rose took a step deeper into the TARDIS, towards him. "Hurt?" she asked, thinking of the vague memories she had of when the energy overtook her and she couldn't hold on. The way every cell in her body seemed to scream.

"Yes," he said simply. "Or it might make you sick. I don't know." He ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair. "When you left for Torchwood I could feel your absence like a physical wound," he explained. "The further away you went the more I felt it." He began pacing back and forth. "I didn't think it would be this powerful," he rambled. "I thought since you were human the bond, it might not be as strong. But if you could feel it. Even through such a short distance. The same time. The same planet. Imagine what a different universe would do?" He ran his fingers through his hair again, he was making a right mess of it.

Rose took another step forwards. "What do you mean you didn't think it would be this powerful?" Rose asked, she felt her joints locking in sudden apprehension. "You talk about it as though you expected this. But how could you if, like you said this hadn't happened before?" The Doctor froze. There was no mistaking the look on his face. He knew he'd slipped up. He turned slowly to her.

"Rose..." he began, his hands raised towards her. Rose stepped back.

"You lied," she realised. "This has happened before." She swallowed audibly. "Have you done it before?"

The thought of him having that kind of connection with someone else was enough to make Rose nauseous. She clutched her midsection feeling her stomach twist into a knot even though she didn't quite understand what the bond even was. It was like when she had told Dr. Conn with absolute certainty that the Doctor would never do what he'd done to anyone else ever again. It was a truth so strong it seemed burned into her bones. And now that truth seemed to be a lie.

"Of course I haven't," the Doctor immediately refuted, sounding as though the idea was incomprehensible.

"How can I even trust that?" Rose asked.

"Rose..."

Rose ran shaking fingers through her hair. "You lie. You always lie."

"Rose please." But Rose shook her head.

"I need to get out of here, " she said, turning around. She needed space. Time to think.

"You don't understand!" the Doctor called after her. Rose twirled back around.

"Then explain it to me!"

The Doctor sighed and clutched the edge of the console again. Rose could see, even from that distance how his knuckles turned white.

"I knew..." he began, not looking at her. "I knew when I... cured you that there was a small chance a telepathic link may form. I knew it was a possibility but I was in no way sure it would happen." He glanced up at her.

"Why did you talk about it as though it had happened before?" Rose asked.

"It was rare but sometimes..." he trailed off. "Sometimes it happened on Gallifrey," he said.

"Between your people?"

"Yes."

"But I'm not like you. I'm not even telepathic," Rose interjected. The Doctor shook his head.

"I don't have all the answers," he said.

The Doctor straightened and walked over to her. He hesitated for a moment, gauging her reaction before he reached out and took her hand. Rose felt the bond flaring up. Electricity hummed through her blood. Her eyelids fluttered shut.

"Is there anyway you can make it stop doing that," she mumbled a little dazed. She felt his fingers tightened for the fraction of a second around hers.

"I don't think so," he said. "Sorry."

The Doctor looked down at their entwined fingers. He stroked his thumb softly over her skin unable to stop himself. It was like the bond hummed in tune with the movement. He wished she'd touch him. Like she had before. The way she never did anymore.

"Rose, open your eyes and look at me," he said, his voice soft. She opened her eyes and he marvelled a moment at their beauty, wondering if he'd ever seen their like before or ever would again. "I have never had a link like this with anyone before, ever. And I never will again. I need you to believe that," he said, his eyes boring into hers, trying desperately to make her understand the gravity of what he was saying without telling her what it meant.

Because the answers he'd given were only half-truths. He didn't think he could ever bear telling her just exactly what it was he'd done to link them together or what that meant for them. What something like that had meant to his people. The telling would not only break his hearts and very possibly shatter what was left of his rather tarnished soul but if she didn't outright hate him now she would then.

"I believe you," Rose assured him quietly but he could still feel the doubt in her mind, could she feel the fear in his? The Doctor let go of her hand. Rose stepped away from him. "What are we going to do?" she asked. She rubbed her arms as though she was cold.

"I don't know," he said. He truly didn't. He didn't have a solution to this. "I need to figure out why the walls are weakening. Whatever is doing it...it's bad. But I can't leave you. Not in a different universe... I... can't risk it."

"So I'll go with you then," she said. The Doctor shook his head.

"I can't ask you to do that," he said.

"You didn't. I offered," Rose corrected. The Doctor looked at her.

A sudden banging made them both jump. "I know you're both in there!" they heard Jackie Tyler's insistent voice from outside the door. "Doctor, you give my daughter back right this instant" Rose left the Doctor and opened the door. She peaked out at her mum.

"Mum," she said, sounding a bit irritated. "What are you doing?"

"We're going now," Jackie explained. "You both can't stay in that blasted box all day." Rose glanced around and realised that dusk had fallen. She glanced back over her shoulder.

"It's late," she told the Doctor though she couldn't see him she knew he was there. "We gotta head back." Rose scanned the room until she spotted him standing there, watching her. "You won't suddenly disappear will you?" she asked. The Doctor shook his head slowly.

Rose stepped out of the TARDIS and joined her mother on the truck-bed. Rose hugged her arms around herself, trying to keep warm. It seemed like it was going to be a cold night. But cold nights meant stars. When she'd been trapped in this universe after the Battle at Canary Wharf she had often treasured the cold nights with their diamond strewn skies. It reminded her that she had been up there and seen them all. That it hadn't just been a dream.

Rose looked up at the sky, trying to recapture that feeling she'd had when she first travelled with the Doctor. That sense of wonder and amazement, the rush of discovery, the feeling of different ground beneath her feet, the glory of new skies. Travelling with the Doctor was fantastical. She wished they could go back to that. Before everything went wrong. Could they? Was there even the smallest chance they could find their way back? But wasn't that one of the great lessons of life? You can't go back, only forwards. So where would forwards take them? Would it drag them through more pain or would they reach a place were she could trust him again. Where she could love him again.

Rose heard the Doctor step out of the TARDIS and she felt him behind her. She had to fight the impulse to lean back against his chest. Would she always feel this pull? she wondered. This need to be close to him. Rose looked up at the stars just as one of them winked out. She blinked in disbelief, thinking her eyes must have tricked her. But then another star followed the first.

"Did you see that?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at the Doctor. He came up beside her, his shoulder brushed against hers.

"What?" he asked and raised his gaze to the sky above them.

"The stars," Rose whispered, just as another star disappeared from the twilight sky. "The stars are going out."


	13. Chapter 13 - Ripples on the water

Chapter 13 - Ripples on the water

The Doctor twirled around and rushed inside the TARDIS, Rose hot on his heels. He pulled the screen over and set the scans to check the walls. They were breaking down.

"What is going on?!" Rose asked, fear marring her voice. The Doctor stared at the screen. He blinked a couple of times.

"I don't know," he said in disbelief. "I don't know." He looked over at Rose, pain in his eyes. "I have to go," he said. She nodded once. The Doctor came over to her, clasping her arms in a desperate grip. "You don't understand," he insisted. "I have to go and I can't leave you here with your family. I can't..."

"It's ok Doctor," she told him. "I know. I understand."

He shook his head as though she wasn't understanding the gravity at all. "Doctor, if this is my world now and it is just as much in danger as the rest of them right?" He looked up and nodded. "Well, what kind of defender of the Earth would I be if I didn't defend it?" A smile lit up his face. "Brave Rose Tyler," he said.

"Oh, shut up," Rose said, smiling at his praise despite of herself.

The Doctor let her go and hurried around the console, bringing the TARDIS to life. He was setting coordinates when he glanced over at her.

"You wanna say goodbye?" he asked. Rose shook her head.

"Probably best not to," she said. "Just go. They'll understand." The familiar whining sound echoed through the room, signalling their departure.

The Doctor ran around the console. "This isn't making any sense," he was saying. "Even the void is gone. They're all collapsing. The dimensions." He scratched his head. "How is this possible?" The TARDIS shook. Both the Doctor and Rose grabbed a hold of the console to stop themselves from falling over. The Doctor looked at the screen. "We're back," he said. He turned the dials, circular Gallifreyan flashing across the screen. A frown appeared between his brows. "This universe must be behind yours," he muttered. "The ripples haven't reached here yet." Rose came up next to him.

"You're saying this universe is still fine?" she asked.

"For now. Which means we still have a chance to stop this."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah," the Doctor allowed thoughtfully. "I'm putting her down," he said. He flipped a couple of switches. The TARDIS shook again and the wheezing, whining sound let Rose know they had landed.

The Doctor hurried over to the doors. He grabbed his coat on the way, pulling it on. He tore opened the doors and stepped outside, Rose following behind.

"Earth?" Rose asked as she stepped out after him. She was getting better at locking down the energy inside her but she could still feel it hit her like a punch to the gut the minute she stepped out of the TARDIS. The Doctor nodded. "It all looks ok at least." she said, looking around. They were parked in some random, completely normal London alley. Trash can in a corner, blue car parked to one side.

"It does," the Doctor agreed. They walked out of the alley, looking around and seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

Rose wandered over to a store selling tellies. They were all displayed in the window, showing the news. There were things like, the price of gasoline going up, traffic jams on the M4, Arsenal winning over Manchester united. But nothing strange. Nothing at all. The Doctor came up beside her. He put on his specs looking at the screens over her shoulder.

"Anything good?" he asked.

"No," Rose said. "Unless you're an Arsenal fan."

"If there is one thing I've learned about you, humans it is to never take sides when it comes to football," he mumbled distractedly. Rose glanced at him. "Or any sport really," he added.

"Wise move," Rose allowed. "But anyway, how can it be so bad in the other universe and then nothing here? Nothing at all?" she wondered.

"Oh, not nothing," the Doctor refuted. "The walls are breaking down here too. Reality is collapsing. But it's like ripples on the water and the ripples haven't quite reached this universe yet."

"Well, I think she can just button it! That's what I think!" they heard some loud woman announce from behind them. Rose turned her head. It was a redhead on her mobile. She really sounded rather upset. "Perhaps she should take a long look in the mirror before she starts in on me! Damn Nerys. she's had it in for me for years." Rose fought a smile as she turned back around. The Doctor glanced at her.

"What?" he asked. Rose nodded her head discreetly at the woman. The Doctor turned his head. Rose saw his eyes narrow for a moment and then widen in surprise. His gaze followed the woman as she walked on, entering the alley where they'd parked the TARDIS. He followed after her without a word and Rose hurried after him.

The redhead was walking to the blue car Rose had noticed before, still talking on her phone. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car-door saying goodbye to whoever she'd been talking to.

"Donna Noble?" the Doctor asked, disbelief in his voice. The woman stopped and turned around. Utter shook fell over her face.

"Doctor?" she asked. "Doctor!" She ran over with a big smile on her face. She stopped right in front of him. "I have this crazy urge to hug you!" she exclaimed in happy disbelief. The Doctor held out his arms for her and the woman threw hers around him.

"He has that effect on most people," Rose pointed out. The woman's eyes shifted to Rose and she pulled away from the Doctor.

"Oh, you got someone with you then?" she asked. "Taking my expert advice are you?" she nudged the Doctor lightly with her elbow. "He needs someone with him," the woman told Rose. The Doctor rubbed his neck a bit uncomfortably.

"Donna... this is Rose," he introduced her.

"Rose?" Donna exclaimed before he had chance to say anything else. "Thee Rose?" She stared from the Doctor to Rose and back again.

"The very one," the Doctor confirmed. Donna turned to Rose, holding out her hand. Rose took it hesitantly.

"It's great to meet you," Donna said happily, "Donna Noble, your spaceman kidnapped me on my wedding day christmas before last."

"Oook." Rose was looking from the Doctor to Donna in confusion.

"I didn't kidnap her," the Doctor immediately argued. "There was this thing... Huon particles, Racnoss. Anyway, Donna, what are you doing here?" the Doctor asked.

"I live here thank you very much," she told him. The Doctor looked around with a frown.

"What, in this alley?" he asked. Donna rolled her eyes at him.

"No dumbo! In London, Earth, the solar system. I should ask what you're doing here, spaceman?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but immediately got cut off. "Oh my god there are not giant spiders again are there?"

"No, no," the Doctor assured. Donna breathed a sigh of relief. "At least not that I know of," he allowed as an afterthought. Donna gave him a glare. Rose was just staring from one to the other. This was another part of the Doctor's life that she had not been a part of. Still, she had to say she kind of liked Donna so far. Rose could imagine she had been quite capable of putting the Doctor in his place.

"Donna?" the Doctor asked. "Has anything happened here lately? Anything unusual?"

"No," Donna said. She thought for a moment. "Like what exactly?"

"Like, strange," the Doctor unhelpfully clarified. "Electrical-storms, freak weather...? Anything?" Donna shook her head.

"Except there's been this thing with the bees," Donna said thoughtfully.

"Bees?"

"Yeah, they've been disappearing."

"Bees disappearing," the Doctor muttered and rubbed at his head. He turned around and bolted back inside the TARDIS.

Rose began to follow but stopped and turned back to Donna where she stood. "Wanna come inside?" Rose asked. Donna looked suspiciously at the blue police box.

"It's weird, that thing," she said. Rose smiled at her, her tongue peaking out between her teeth and her eyes sparkling.

"That's the beauty of it," she said. She nodded her head towards the TARDIS. "Come on Donna Noble." And Donna followed Rose inside.

The Doctor was at the centre-console, his spectacles perched on his nose and his eyes glued to the screen.

"Have you found something?" Rose asked as she walked into the room, Donna following behind.

"Maybe," the Doctor muttered. "These calculations, there gonna take some time though." Donna came up next to Rose.

"I'm really glad you're back with him," she told her quietly.

"Yeah..." was all Rose gave as a reply, her eyes on the Doctor. Donna looked from one to the other and Rose got the feeling that she saw more than she said.

Suddenly the TARDIS shook. Rose and the Doctor immediately grabbed the console to keep from falling but Donna hadn't been quite quick enough and stumbled backwards. The railing stopped her from falling and she just had enough time to grab it before the TARDIS shook again. Sparks blew out of the centre console.

"Doctor!" Rose called. "What's happening?" The Doctor was leaning over the console trying to grab levers out of his reach. "Doctor!" The ship shook violently again.

"I don't know!" the Doctor called. More sparks rained down from above. Rose could practically feel how they hurled through the vortex.

"Don't you dare do this to me again!" Donna yelled. The Doctor stared at the screen.

"We're crashing," he said.

The whole thing shook. Rose lost her grip and got tossed to the floor. She hit it hard. Donna was screaming, though it sounded like she screamed more out of anger than fear. Rose knocked her head against the console and the Doctor got knocked to the floor as they crash-landed.

Rose struggled up into a sitting position, her back against the edge of the console.

"Donna, you ok?" the Doctor called.

"Yeah, thanks," she growled, sounding none to pleased. The Doctor scrambled over to Rose. He put his hands to either side of her face, tilting it up.

"You ok?" he asked gently. Rose nodded.

"Fine." The Doctor ran his thumb over a soar spot right at her hairline, sending a pleasant tingle across her skin.

"Hit your head?" he asked.

"Mmmhm."

"Any visual impairments?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I'm fine," she repeated. Rose finally looked up and met his eyes. "Really," she insisted. The Doctor nodded and reluctantly drew back, rising to his feet. He held out his hand for her and she took it. The Doctor helped pull her to her feet.

They found Donna struggling to rise across the room.

"You!" she said, pointing at the Doctor with an accusing finger. "What the hell are you playing at!?"

"It wasn't me!" the Doctor explained affronted.

"Always with the kidnapping," Donna accused. "Did he kidnapped you too?" she asked Rose.

"Nope," Rose declared. "Went willingly." Donna shook her head.

"Bonkers, the pair of you," she muttered, straightening her black suit.

The Doctor was at the TARDIS console, talking to the ship as he was flipping switches.

"What's going on hu?" he was asking her. "What's wrong?" Rose left him to check where they had landed. She pulled opened the door and stared out at a forest area. Huge towering trees reached for the sky with trunks so large it would take ten people to reach around them. The leaves were a coppery yellow, glistening in the blue sunshine but the grass was darker, more bronze. It was beautiful.

Rose stepped outside, noticing the TARDIS had crashed into one of the trees. It now leaned against it. A blue sun shone in the sky and she could just see the hint of an ocean beyond the trees, hearing the waves crashing against rocks.

"Is it safe?" Donna asked from behind Rose.

"Oh, it's hardly ever safe," Rose told her. "But for now I think we're good." Rose turned around. Donna was carefully peaking out from the TARDIS, looking hesitantly around. "Come on," Rose said.

"We're on a different planet, aren't we?" Donna asked, sounding half amazed and half terrified. Rose nodded.

"Yup," she confirmed, looking around. "Blue sun, bronze grass. Definitely a different planet." Donna didn't move. "Come on," Rose said again. Donna took a hesitant step outside. Rose watched as Donna's face slowly lit up with excitement.

"This is mad," she said, staring at the ground. "This is wonderfully mad."

"That pretty much sums it up," Rose said with a smile. Donna looked up at Rose and smiled with her whole face.

"A different planet!" she exclaimed. Rose laughed and Donna laughed with her. For a moment Rose forgot all about the the Doctor and the lies, about he stars going out and universes collapsing.

The Doctor appeared in the TARDIS doorway.

"What's wrong?" he asked urgently. Donna turned around.

"Wrong?" she asked in surprise.

"You laughed?"

"And you naturally assume something's wrong?" Donna wondered. The Doctor's eyes drew to Rose.

For once her smile didn't falter as her eyes met his. They were shining with joy and excitement. He smiled back at her. It was impossible not to. The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, closing the door behind him. He looked around

"Any idea where we are?" Rose asked him.

"Not a clue," the Doctor declared.

"And the TARDIS?" Rose asked. "Any idea what's wrong with her?"

"She's moody," the Doctor said, running his hand down the side of the blue police box. "Needs about five hours to recalibrate."

"So we're stuck here for five hours?" Donna asked.

"Weeell," the Doctor drew the word out. "Yeah," he allowed. Rose came over to Donna.

"Plenty of time to explore," she told her and linked her arm through Donna's. She tugged her along, glancing back at the Doctor. She'd seen the worry behind his casual facade. Something was up.

They walked through the forest, Donna and Rose chatting while the Doctor surveyed the area trying to figure out where they had landed and why. They reached the edge of the woods. Cliffs shot down in front of them into the sea, waves crashing against them. Rose held up her hand, shielding her eyes from the light of the blue sun as she stared out at the sea.

"Is that a city out there?" she asked the Doctor over her shoulder. Something was glimmering in the distance. The Doctor looked out over the sea.

"Looks like," he said. "And that there is how you get to it I imagine." He pointed to their left. A bit away on another cliff was a cableway with large cablecars going out to the city on the water.

"Are we going?" Donna asked. "We're going, yeah?"

"Yeah, we're going," Rose declared happily. The Doctor smiled behind them as they headed towards the cableway.

There was a man, dressed in blue monk-like robes that bowed as they approached.

"Well met, travellers," he greeted them and straightened. He had strange circles tattooed all over his skin. They covered most of his face, overlapping each other and you could even hint them peaking out under the edges of his sleeves.

"Hello," the Doctor greeted happily. "Mind telling us where we are?" he asked.

"You are at the entrance to the city of Dentaar," the monk answered serenely.

"Yeah, I mean which planet." The monks eyes narrowed ever so slightly at this question but he said nothing about it.

"The planet of Poosh," he answered, in the same serene tone of voice.

"Poosh! Lovely," the Doctor declared.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?" the monk asked.

"Oh...just seeing the sights," the Doctor answered.

"And do you have your pass for entrance to the city?"

"Pass...yes o' course." the Doctor padded his pockets until he found the psychic paper. He held it up and the monk surveyed it closely.

"Very good." The monk held out his hand as the door to the cablecar slid opened. "Enjoy the beauty and hospitality of our city."

The girls and the Doctor stepped inside the cart. "Remember, any and all forms of weapons are strictly prohibited. All violence will immediately result in your expulsion from the city limits. Fair well," he said, bowing as the door slid closed and the cablecar took off down the line.

"How handy that aliens speak english," Donna announced.

"They don't, you just hear english," Rose told her.

"The TARDIS translates for you," the Doctor explained.

"Is there anything that weird box of yours doesn't do?" Donna asked. The Doctor thought about that for a moment.

"She's doesn't cook," he said after a while. "Not well at least."

"She's good at tea though," Rose said. Donna looked at them as though she didn't know whether they were honest or simply pulling her leg.

"Look at that," the Doctor said and pointed ahead of them. They all went to the front of the cablecar. It was glass all around so they had excellent visibility in every direction. The cablecar was traveling quickly down the line, the city coming into view ahead of them. It was sparkling in the light of the blue sun, great spires of some form of crystal reaching for the sky. It looked as though it had been built right on the water.

"That is beautiful," Donna said in awe. Rose had to agree with her, it was beautiful. She glanced over at the Doctor next to her. As though he could feel her watching him he turned his head, his eyes immediately finding hers. She felt a careful brush against her mind. Rose gave him a little smile and let her mind twine with his. It felt so natural. As though this was the state they should always be in. And it wasn't quite as overwhelming as when they touched. It was soft, pleasant.

"Hello!" Donna's voice finally penetrated their minds. "I'm sure you have time to stare soulfully into each others eyes later. Let's go." Rose drew back, the bond between them snapping like cutting a rubber band. The Doctor stepped back, awkwardly running hand through his hair. "Well, come on!" Donna insisted.

The cablecar had stopped at the city without the Doctor and Rose even noticing. The three of them stepped out. Everything was built out of that strange crystal. It caught the light of the sun giving everything an almost blue glow to it. There were a lot of people in robes, like the man they'd met at the cableway and they all had the tattooed circles all over their skin. But there were other's too, most dressed in bright colours of yellow, orange, and sky blue. A woman with green skin and large black eyes walked by them. Donna's mouth fell opened.

"Don't stare," the Doctor reprimanded her.

Everyone seemed to be heading in the same direction so the three of them simply followed the current. Rose turned to a man next to them.

"Where is everyone going?" she asked him. The man looked at her as though she was daft.

"The sun will be setting soon," he said pointing at the sky. "Time for the Dedication isn't it."

"The dedication, right," Rose nodded as though she had an actual clue of what he was talking about. Rose looked up into the sky, she could just vaguely hint the moon as the sun slowly travelled towards the horizon. Something dark caught at the corner of Rose's eye. She turned and saw a woman dressed in white, with black short cropped hair disappear into an alley. She was the only one heading in another direction.

Rose wasn't quiet sure why she followed but she did. She skirted the people heading for the Dedication and made it to the alley. The woman was nowhere to be seen. Rose entered cautiously.

"Oh, but we had a deal, monk," Rose heard a woman's voice hiss. There was some apologetic mumbling from a man. Rose hurried on, following the sound of the voices. She reached a corner and stopped. "You know what will happen if you go back on our deal," the woman warned. They were close. Rose peaked out from behind the corner. She saw the woman with the short black hair, her back to Rose, talking to a man dressed in monks robes, those same circles painted on his skin. There was something about the set of the woman's shoulders that seemed awfully familiar. "Bring me what I want or my people will shot your brother's family dead. It is that simple." Rose knew that voice.

The monk stared in fear at the woman, wringing his hands. "It is the highest form of treason," he tried to argue. The woman held up a device that Rose would bet was some form of communicator. She raised it to her mouth.

"Shoot out the kid's knees," she said.

"No, please," the monk begged. The woman clicked on a button on her communicator and a holographic image of a man and woman tied up on the floor sprung from it. Next to them was a boy no more than ten, also tied up. A large man came into the picture. Rose stared in horror as the man raised an alien looking gun and aimed it at the child. "No, please," the monk begged again. There was the sound of a dual gunshot. The boy screamed. His parents monk wailed in horror and Rose clutched her hand over her mouth to stifle her own cry.

"Next one goes through the child's head," the woman explained calmly. She sighed. "Oh stop your wailing," she told the monk who couldn't seem to stop crying. "Shoot the kid in the head," she said into the communicator and Rose stared in absolute horror at the hologram as the man raised his gun again. The father was struggling desperately to get free and the wife was crying frantically, asking over and over, why? Why? Why?

Rose was just to step out from her hiding spot, willing to do anything to stop what was happening when the monk spoke.

"No stop!" he cried. "I'll do it. I'll do it."

"Hold," the woman said and the man in the hologram lowered his gun. "Wait for my call," she told him and with the press of a button the holographic image disappeared. "Now then," the woman said, all business. "I expect you back here with what we agreed upon within ten minutes." The monk nodded and hurried off. The dark-haired woman looked at her wristwatch.

"You can might as well come out of there," she said loudly. Rose froze. "It is rude to eavesdrop." The woman turned around.

It couldn't be. It was impossible. Rose stepped out from behind the corner.

"You're dead," Rose said, staring at the woman in disbelief. Annabelle Conn's eyes widened in surprise as she saw who it was that stepped out from behind the corner.

"Rose Tyler, come to join me?" she asked, her lips spreading in an evil smile.

"Join you?" Rose snarled. "You're mad." Annabelle shook her shoulders.

"You will help us. Eventually," she said, sounding none to bothered.

"Whatever you're trying to do, you won't get away with it," Rose vowed. "We stopped you before, we'll stop you again."

"What makes you think you stopped me?" Annabelle said with a smile. "And by the way, speaking of which, where is your Doctor?" Annabelle looked around as though she expected him to pop out of a shadow. "Still at odds?"

"Shut up," Rose growled.

"You are going to be the death of him you know," Annabelle said. She was smiling like her sister, too sweetly. "Every time you reject him is like opening up a wound." Rose tried to shut out her words. "Stay with him and he's gonna slowly bleed to death.

"Shut up!" Rose screamed at her. But screaming didn't help. All she heard inside hear head was Tom's word,

 _He looks at you like loving you is killing him, and he doesn't even care._

"You know nothing about it," Rose growled. "Nothing!" Rose felt the power surging up inside her in tune with her temper, the energy moving, itching to be released.

Rose took a step forwards and Annabelle raised a gun. It was a small and sleek looking weapon. "Easy now," she said. Rose stopped.

"Are you gonna shoot me then?" Rose asked. "Go ahead. They'll be on you in a second. No guns allowed I hear." Annabelle smiled.

"Oh, no Rose Tyler I'd sooner avoid shooting you. We need you for later."

"Need me for what?" Rose felt her nails digging into her palms and yet the energy was still moving, she couldn't seem to lock it down. "And who is we?"

"All in due time." Annabelle began backing away, her gun still trained on Rose. Dr. Conn had wanted Rose to help save her dying sister but Rose wasn't sure that, that is what Annabelle Conn wanted at all. There seemed to be something far bigger going on with her.

Annabelle's gaze flickered down to Rose's hands. There was a sliver of fear in her eyes as they flickered back up. "You should get that under control. Don't want a repetition of Torchwood now do we? A...a lot of people about."

She stumbled over her words. This was the first time Rose had seen her afraid. Rose didn't need to look to know that light was moving under her skin. She could feel it, pressing behind her eyes. Soon the images would come. More pain.

Annabelle continued to back away. Rose remembered Annabelle saying she'd seen the security footage of when her sister had died. She knew what Rose was capable of. Rose felt the ground beneath her shift.

"He turned you into a weapon," Annabelle was saying. "A beautiful, beautiful weapon. A nuclear bomb just waiting to explode."

Rose only half registered as Annabelle Conn turned around and ran. She didn't feel it as her shoulder hit the wall next to her. She squeezed her eyes shut and reached out with her mind, desperately trying to find the Doctor.

 _I need you_ , she cried out.

The Doctor was pushing his way through the crowds.

"Rule one," he was muttering. "Rule one."

"What's rule one?" Donna called from behind him.

"Don't wander off! Rule one Donna, don't wander off!" he growled over his shoulder at her. His eyes roamed over the crowds, desperately searching for a familiar blonde head.

Her distress hit him like a punch to the gut.

 _I need you_.

The Doctor took off running. People were yelling and growling their discontent as he pushed his way through the crowds. He broke through a group of middle-aged ladies that got extremely cross with him and crashed into an alley. He ran through it, turned a corner and there she was, leaning against the crystal wall.

"Rose?" He clasped her shoulders. Light was moving beneath her skin. "Rose?" She looked up and her eyes met his.

"She's alive, Doctor," Rose whispered, pain in her voice.

"Who? Who is alive?" the Doctor asked.

"Annabelle Conn," Rose said and her eyes rolled up into her head. The Doctor wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her from falling.

"What's wrong with her?" Donna asked worriedly. The Doctor ran his hand down the side of Rose's face.

"Come on Rose," he whispered. Her eyes fluttered opened and she looked at him, her vision hazy.

"Does it hurt to look at me?" she mumbled. He caught her head as it dropped to the side.

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor asked, perplexed.

"Everyone, they keep telling me..." she continued incoherently. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't, Rose," the Doctor lied. A suddenly sad look fell over Donna's face as she watched them. "I promise. Do you hear me? It's alright, everything's gonna be alright."

Eventually the light under her skin dimmed. Her head fell against the Doctor's shoulder and he held her. Rose looked up and she saw Donna standing there. Her face both sad and worried. Again Rose got the feeling Donna noticed too much. Rose took a deep strengthening breath and pulled away from the Doctor.

"I'm ok," she assured him. The Doctor was looking her over, she could see his fingers itching to reach out so she drew further away from him. Donna was looking from one of them to the other.

"Anyone mind telling me what's going on?" she asked.

"Long story," Rose told her.

"Annabelle Conn is alive?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded.

"I don't know how but she's up to something and she's not working alone either."

"What is she doing here?" the Doctor asked.

"She was threatening one of the monk guys to get something for her. I don't know what but she was willing to kill a child for it." The Doctor's eyes darkened at this bit of news.

The sound of hundreds of people cheering reached them.

"Dedication must have started," Donna said.

"Yeah what is that anyway?" Rose asked.

"As the sun sets and the moon comes out they have a ceremony they call the Dedication to honour the light the moon brings in the darkness of night," the Doctor explained a little distractedly. "Where did she go?" he asked. Rose pointed down the alley.

"She ran down there," she said.

Then the cheering turned into startled screams. All three of them looked at each other.

"That doesn't sound good," Donna said. The three of them took off running, running through the alleyways until they got out onto a square. All the people in front of them were staring up at the sky, some screaming, some weeping. The blue sun was getting closer to the horizon as the Doctor, Rose and Donna looked up at the sky. The sky was clear but there was no moon. The moon was gone.

"Wha...?" the Doctor began in disbelief. He stared around. There was not even any indication of there ever having been a moon in the sky. It was just simply gone. People were pointing into the sky and crying out in fear.

Suddenly the ground beneath them shook. A crack broke through the square. Water poured out of it and people fell in. The Doctor clasped Rose's waist and pulled her back, just as a crack broke the ground beneath her feet.

"Back, back!" the Doctor urged, pulling her with him. Donna stumbled backwards with them.

"What's happening?!" Donna cried.

"Earthquakes," the Doctor answered. The ground shook again. More cracks broke through the square and more water burst out."It's the moon. Without its gravitational pull the planet is going mad."

"But how can an entire moon just disappear?" Rose asked, staring around at the destruction in horror. Most people were running. But some seemed too scared to move, having huddled down in groups. A band of painted monks stood before the largest crystal spire, their hands raised to the sky, singing in prayer.

Rose tore free of the Doctor's arms and ran into the square. He called after her. She jumped over a crack. Water blew up at her side. She skirted it and ran, jumping over another crack until she made it to a group of frightened people. She grabbed the first one she reached and pulled her to her feet.

"Get up!" Rose screamed. "You have to run!" She pushed the woman ahead and pulled up the next person. "Up! Up!" The Doctor appeared at her side, pulling another person to their feet.

"RUN!" he screamed at them. Finally the message seemed to get through. The last of the people got to their feet and ran.

Rose was about to run towards the monks when the Doctor got a hold of her wrist and yanked her back. A large crack erupted right in front of the singing monks. Rose tried to twist free from the Doctor.

"It's too late!" the Doctor screamed at her. They stared as a whole section of the square slid into the sea, taking the monks with it.

The Doctor turned and pulled Rose with him. They jumped over cracks, nearly falling in as one crack widened unexpectedly. They found Donna at the edge of the square, urging people to run for the cablecars. They didn't stop as they reached her, just ran on, pulling her with them. The water was knee deep. The whole city was sinking into the sea. It was hell getting forwards with any speed. All around them people were running and falling. There wasn't time to stop and help any of them.

They ran desperately through the city, trudging water, the Doctor's hand clasped tightly around Rose's. Finally they reached the cableway. People were pushing to get inside them while one lonely monk tried desperately to get the panicked masses to do it orderly.

"No more than thirty per car!" he screamed. "Or the fastenings won't hold!" But no one was listening. The Doctor fought his way through the crowd to the front, pulling Rose with him and Donna followed right behind. He regretfully let go of Rose's hand and got between a large man trying to get inside the cablecar.

"Back up!" the Doctor ordered. There was such authority in his voice the man paused. "Thirty per car or you'll crash into the sea!" he screamed over the crowd. He turned and took a quick look inside the car, quickly realising it was full. He used his sonic-screwdriver to get the doors to shut. They whizzed closed and the cablecar took off, leaving room for the next one to dock. "Alright!" the Doctor called, stepping back and letting people inside. The large man thankfully stumbled in, pulling someone who must be his wife with him.

The Doctor counted the heads as they passed him and once he reached thirty he sonic-ed the doors closed despite panicked objections and the cablecar took off. Rose, Donna and the lonely monk helped to funnel the people orderly but with haste. The ground kept trembling beneath them. The water levels were slowly rising. Huge spires fell into the awaiting sea. The Doctor loaded the last set of thirty people in a car and sent them off.

"Come on!" he called to them as the next car docked. The doors slid opened. Donna ran and had to jump inside the cablecar because the platform they were standing on shifted. "Rose!" the Doctor screamed. She fell as the platform trembled, catching herself on her hands and knees. The monk reached down and helped her back up. The platform shook violently, cracking apart. Rose turned as a whole section collapsed right next to her. She caught the monk's eye just as the floor disappeared beneath his feet.

"NOO!" Rose screamed, reaching out for him. But it was too late and his fear-filled eyes were the last she saw as he disappeared into the roiling sea.

Rose felt the Doctor as he clasped her arm and yanked her back. She turned around and ran with him. Donna was at the opening to the cablecar yelling at them to hurry! Rose saw the large gap between the platform and car. Both her and the Doctor simultaneously put on a burst of speed. She clasped his hand tightly and they jumped.

They crashed into the cablecar, rolling to a stop on the floor, Rose lying half on top of the Doctor. The Doctor aimed his screwdriver against the doors and they slid closed. The car immediately took off. Rose let her head rest against his chest for a moment, struggling to catch her breath. The Doctor's arm came around her back. She could hear the frantic beating of his hearts beneath her ear.

"You ok?" the Doctor asked her. She nodded against his chest. Rose took a deep strengthening breath and pushed away from him, struggling to her feet.

Donna was staring at the city. Rose came up next to her as the Doctor struggled upright. Rose and Donna both stood and watched as sections of the city crumbled. The cablecar shook. Rose glanced back ahead of them. Would they make it before the whole thing collapsed with the city?

It was an excruciating wait. They stood in the cablecar, staring at the docking station at the top of the cliff, feeling as though the ting was miles away. Again the cablecar shook. A sliver of fear ran down Rose's spine. She did not dare glance down at the sea so far below, refusing to think of the cable snapping and them all plummeting helplessly down into the waves.

Finally the cablecar stopped at the top of the rocky cliff, the doors sliding opened easily as though nothing was wrong. All three of them rushed out of it, desperate to feel solid ground beneath their feet.

All the people stood on the cliff, staring out at the beautiful, sparkling city as it fell into the sea, the sun setting along with it. Parents were hugging their children. Some were wailing in despair.

The Doctor, Rose and Donna stood with the other survivors for a moment and looked at the destruction. How could this have happened? It seemed only a moment ago that they had stood there and watched the city-spires sparkling blue in the distance. A few hours later and it was all gone. There was no doubt in Rose's mind that Annabelle Conn had something to do with it. It was too much of a coincidence for her not to. How she had managed so make an entire moon simply disappear out of the sky, Rose had no idea but she had been a part of it. Somehow this was all connected.

The Doctor touched Rose's shoulder lightly.

"Let's go," he said sadly. Rose gave Donna a nudge. Donna tore her eyes away from the sea. She had tears on her face. A lot of people had died as the city fell.

The three of them turned and walked away. They walked into the woods, leaving it all behind. They had helped get a lot of people out. That was enough. They never stayed for the aftermath.

Night had fallen but despite the lack of moonlight the forest was not so dark. Rose looked up and gasped with wonder. Fluttering around in the tree-crowns were hundreds of little blue lights, like fireflies. She turned back to Donna, pointing up without saying anything. Donna glanced up and her mouth tugged a little at the corners as though the sight made her want to smile but she didn't quite have the heart for it. The Doctor stopped as he too looked up into the trees. Rose came up beside him. He took her hand, twining his fingers with hers. The bond flared to life. Linking their minds together. But this time Rose held back. She wasn't ready to share the thoughts running around inside her head.

She could feel that he felt her reluctance. Feel that it hurt him. It hurt him every time, just as Annabelle Conn had said. Like slowly bleeding to death. Rose pulled her hand out of his and turned away. She couldn't bear this. She didn't want to hurt him, she never wanted to hurt him.

 _Don't_ , she heard like a painful whisper in her mind. _Please, don't._

It took so much strength to turn away from him in that moment. When every inch of her being yearned to stay.

Rose looked up and saw the light from the TARDIS, glimmering between the trees, like a beacon guiding them home. She walked towards it feeling the echo of the hurt she'd just caused lingering in her heart, mixing with her own. She knew neither of them would be able to take much more of this. That Annabelle Conn was right. It was like slowly bleeding to death.


	14. Chapter 14 - The untainted truth

Chapter 14 - The untainted truth

"She needs another hour or so," the Doctor said, looking at the screen. They all stood inside the TARDIS, being strangely quiet. Donna walked over to the Doctor where he stood in front of the console.

"How could a whole moon just disappear?" Donna asked, quietly.

"Dunno," the Doctor replied without looking up.

"Are they going to be ok?"

"Who?"

"The people," Donna clarified. "The ones we just left behind."

"They'll be fine," the Doctor assured her. "It's a level six planet. They have the means to get off it if things get too bad."

Donna noticed as Rose turned around and left without a word, disappearing inside the TARDIS. The Doctor continued staring at that screen as though he hadn't noticed her departure. Though Donna suspected it wasn't much he didn't notice about Rose.

"You gonna be alright?" Donna asked. The Doctor looked up at her.

"What?" he asked.

"You gonna be alright?" Donna asked again. He nodded.

"Yeah, o' course."

"I'm just gonna..." Donna trailed off, pointing her thumb in the direction Rose had gone.

"Um...yeah...sure," the Doctor mumbled and returned his attention to the screen.

Donna wandered through the hallways, absentmindedly thinking this was all completely insane. This spaceship-thing was even bigger than she'd thought. And what a coincidence. Her, running into the pair of them like that. They'd managed to park right next to her car. It was like it was meant to be. A part of her wished she'd never met them. She could still feel the pain of all those people dying. But more would have perished had they not been there. She had to cling to that.

And now she had to find Rose. Ever since Donna stepped inside this mad box again she'd seen it. It was like there was a great chasm gaping up between Rose and the Doctor. The Doctor kept trying to reach across and Rose kept pulling back.

Donna turned a corner and found a door discretely marked, kitchen. She heard noises from the other side. Donna opened the door and saw Rose at the counter.

"Soo," Donna said carefully as she joined Rose in the kitchen. The crazy blue box actually had a kitchen. "That was a bit worse than I'd imagined," Rose was making tea.

"You want one?" Rose asked Donna. She nodded. Rose poured two cups. "Milk or sugar?"

"Both," Donna said. Donna watched the blonde girl as she fixed the tea.

She was beautiful, there was no denying that and she had this sort of spark to her. Sometimes when she smiled it was like a whole sun shining thorough her eyes. Donna could see why the Doctor was so in love with her. "I reckon I met him not long after you left," Donna was saying.

"I didn't leave," Rose refuted. "I was trapped in a parallel world."

"Right, well you see when I met the Doctor he had this fresh pain in his eyes," Donna explained. "He tried to hide it at times but it was always there."

Rose handed Donna her cup of tea without looking her in the eye. "Thing is..." Donna was saying. "...it's still there." She took the cup and looked at Rose. "He's found you. He got you back but the pain isn't gone." Rose leaned back against the counter and sipped her tea.

"It's complicated," she said, staring straight ahead. "Things happened..."

"It can't be that bad," Donna said. "You love each other don't you?" She said it as though it was fact. Rose sighed.

"It's amazing how little that matters," she said quietly. Donna narrowed her eyes at her.

"Isn't that all that matters?" Donna asked.

"You don't understand," Rose told her, taking another sip of her tea. "You don't understand." Donna took a sip of her own tea. It was good, spicy, not a flavour she recognised.

"He did something," Rose said after they'd stood in silence for a while. She stared down into her cup. "And whenever I ask him about it he lies. He thinks I don't know. Thinks I can't tell."

"He probably has a good reason though," Donna tried. "I mean, I don't really know him but he seems to be the kind of bloke who plays things pretty close to the chest."

Rose held out her hand. "Touch my hand," she said. Donna hesitated before she reached out. The minute her finger brushed against Rose's she hissed and instantly pulled her hand back.

"Ouch," Donna, looking at Rose in confusion. The girl held up her hand and Donna could see golden light moving beneath her skin. "Like...?" Donna breathed. Like in that alley. Rose turned her hand, staring at it.

"I was dying,' Rose explained. "The Doctor did this to save me." Donna just stared at her. Rose tightened her hand into a fist and slowly the light died away. She put the half-drunk cup of tea down and turned around, leaning her hands against the counter. "I'm sorry," Rose said. "I don't know why I'm telling you this." Donna walked over to the girl. She put her tea cup down next to Rose's. Donna hesitated for a moment before she put a hand on her shoulder, remembering how her finger had burned.

"It's ok," Donna said.

"I guess I just need to talk to someone," Rose said.

"Maybe you should talk to the Doctor," Donna suggested softly. Rose shook her head.

"I can't. He only lies." Rose drew in an uneven breath. "I don't want to hate him Donna," Rose said sadly. "I really don't. But I can't help it. And hating someone you love is..."

"Tragic," Donna finished for her. "It's tragic."

Rose dried her tears away and straightened. "I'm sorry," she said again, trying to collect herself.

"Don't be sorry," Donna said. "I want to help." Rose smiled sadly, her face streaked with tears.

"You can't help us," she said. "We're doomed."

The words hurt to hear. Donna wanted to wipe them away from existence. They couldn't be doomed. There had to be a way to fix it.

"Thanks," Rose was saying, "Really." She brushed an errant tear away from her cheek. "I just really gotta...um.. I need to be alone for a minute." Rose turned and walked out of the kitchen, taking another route than the one Donna had used.

Donna watched her go. She remembered how broken, how hurt the Doctor had seemed when she met him at Christmas, on her wedding day. Like part of him had been missing. Donna had seen the same kind of fracture in Rose's eyes. They were both here together and somehow they seemed further apart than ever.

Donna turned around and headed back the way she'd come. She pulled opened the kitchen door and stepped out into the corridor. The Doctor was standing just outside, leaning against the wall. Donna found she wasn't really all that surprised.

"Did you hear all that?" Donna asked him.

"She said she hates me," the Doctor replied, his voice strangely monotone.

"She also said she loves you," Donna pointed out but the Doctor didn't seem to hear her. "Whatever you're hiding from her, just tell her." Donna stared at him hard. "I'm sure she'll forgive you anything as long as you're honest." The Doctor shook his head.

"Not this," he said. "I know her. She's good. So very good. The best of what humanity have to offer. She won't forgive what I did."

"And what exactly did you do, Doctor? What could be so bad?" He drew in a shaky breath and straightened.

"Come on," he told her. "I'll show you to a room."

The Doctor led Donna through the TARDIS, his feet moving on autopilot. He hardly even registered the countless times she asked if he was alright. He left her at a random room, mumbling something about the library if she should get bored. The TARDIS would be ready to head back soon. Perhaps he should have asked her to stay with them. She had said no before but the Doctor got the sense that there was something brilliant about Donna Noble. But his mind didn't function that well at the moment.

He left her and wandered back to the control room. He walked over to the console and the TARDIS gave a sad little hum in tuned with the pain in his chest. He rubbed at his eyes. Time Lords didn't need as much sleep as humans but the Doctor couldn't even remember the last time he'd slept. He had been so focused on Rose that everything else had become secondary.

The trajectory calculation for the bee migration would take twelve hours yet. And he wasn't even sure it had something to do with any of it. He was only sure of one thing. It was all connected. He could see the strands weaving events together. The Conn sisters and their experiments, their obsession with Rose, stars going out, the walls between universes breaking down, Annabelle Conn on Poosh to get something right before the planet lost its moon. He could see the strands but not the weaver.

He rubbed at his eyes again. He needed to get some rest or his body was going to shut down. The Doctor left the control-room. But once he reached his room he couldn't bear to go inside, knowing he would get no rest there. He ended up wandering aimlessly through the hallways, repeatedly finding himself back at the door to Rose's room. He didn't even know if it was the TARDIS that was rearranging the hallways to get him there or if it was he who just couldn't stand to be anywhere else.

The fourth time he found his way back there he cursed and stomped off in the opposite direction. He found his way to his study. It was overflowing with books and bits of technology littering around the place, pieces of metal and wire and tools. He actually had to search for a moment to find the chair. He got rid of his coat and flung himself down into the chair. He propped his feet up unto the overflowing desk and closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax.

It wasn't easy. In fact it was closer to impossible than easy. Everything that was happening scared him, mostly because Rose seemed to have some part in the grande scheme. Hearing the words, I hate him, come out of her mouth had been worse than he'd thought. For a little while after they'd returned to this universe it had seemed better. He'd begun to hope. She'd even smiled at him. That smile that could light up all the dark corners of his soul. And then this. Ashes.

Eventually the fatigue took him over despite his hearts best efforts and he fell asleep. And dreamed of her. Of course he dreamed of her...

There was darkness all around and pain in his chest. His lungs burned after having screamed. He'd screamed in fear and in agony. Screamed because he was loosing her. The Doctor looked down and found her lying lifeless on the dark marble floor. He was back here again. Back in this place between time. This was were he had made his choice. Where everything had fallen apart. And even now he knew he'd never choose differently. He would choose her a thousand times over.

The Doctor reached down and picked her up. He whispered her name. The most beautiful constellation of letters he'd ever known. He reached out with his mind, sending a spark to hers, begging for her to wake up. He watched as her eyelids fluttered opened. They were so delicate, so fragile. It took so very little to hurt her. He let his forehead rest against hers, whispering her name like a prayer. Then he kissed her. It was just a brief touch, a momentary exchange of breath, nothing more.

Please, he pleaded. She had always been so full of life. Being close to her had been like standing next to a burning star. How could he not have loved her? He brushed his lips lightly against hers again and she stirred. There was confusion in her voice as she spoke his name. But she spoke the one he'd chosen, he wanted to hear the one he'd been given. The name none no longer knew. He leaned down and whispered it in her ear. It was an ancient word. A word that hadn't been spoken in nearly a thousand years. His name was a secret and a gift. A gift only he could bestow and a secret she would now have to keep.

He kissed her again, pleading for her trust, letting his mind caress hers while his lips urged her to kiss him back. And then she did.

Feeling her respond sent an electric spark through his mind, down his spine to settle somewhere low in his stomach. Every touch became absolute ecstasy. He ran his fingers through her hair, feeling hers moving lazily up his chest. He held her to him fiercely, frightened of ever letting go. Her hands found their way around his neck. She arched up against him and he though he couldn't recall a single moment in all his many years that compared to this.

But sudden guilt flared to life inside his guilt of knowing he was doing this without her full consent. Knowing he was tricking her, using her love to keep her with him. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted to be with him. He was not a complete fool. He knew she loved him. But she didn't know, didn't understand what being with him would mean for both of them. Nor what it might do to her. That which he feared most. That the love he felt for her would simply burn through her like wildfire until there was nothing left but ashes.

She ran her hand up into his hair, her lips parting and he quickly lost all sense of guilt he'd had. Gone in the blink of an eye. He pulled the top she wore gently off her shoulder, kissing his way there. He feared his movements were too hasty, too clumsy. He tried to slow down. Her fingers wrapped around his tie and deft hands swiftly untied it. She pulled it free and let it fall. He didn't even notice as the first buttons on his shirt fell opened. Suddenly he just felt her fingers against his skin. His hand at her back clenched into a fist and he pleaded for control.

Then she mumbled his name. His name. He hadn't heard it spoken in so long and to hear it from her was enough to bring tears to his eyes. So he let go. Let go of everything. Everything he had held back since he'd met her. Held back out of fear. He let it all go and allowed himself to love her with all that he had. Every ounce of his being he poured into this one act. Into this one beautiful human being with a silent prayer to any deity, entity or random twist of fate to please, just please let him keep her.

He felt it as they reached a pinnacle and his mind melded completely with hers, the strands between them woven together into a bond that could never be broken. He felt his soul tying itself to her, healing the damage inside her body, binding them together forever. That one moment became a fixed point. Something that could never be altered, the echo of it drumming through time and space.

But it did more than that. She was human and all that energy swiftly became too much for her to contain. He felt it as it overwhelmed her. Ecstasy swiftly turned to agony and she screamed. The Doctor held on to her as she burned. He leaned down and softly whispered,

 _if you burn, I burn with you._

The Doctor awoke with a jerk. He could still hear her screaming, the nightmare lingering around him like smoke. Until suddenly he realised that it wasn't the dream. It was her. It was Rose screaming. He shot out of his seat and ran for her room. He tore opened her door and found her lying on her bed, screaming and turning every which way as though she was trying desperately to escape something.

He hurried over to her bedside. He sank down next to her, clasping her shoulders in an attempt to still her.

"Rose," he said softly. "Rose wake up." He shook her lightly. "Rose!" Her eyelids flipped opened, hazel, fear-filled eyes met his. She sat up, tore herself free from his hold and scrambled away from him until she hit the headboard. "Rose don't..." She stared in fear and panic at him. "Don't be afraid of me," he begged. "Not you. Never you."

"You made me burn," she breathed. "And I burned everything with me." He understood instantly that she had shared the dream. It had been so real, so vivid that he had projected it to her without even realising it. How much of it she'd glimpsed, he didn't known but she had definitely witnessed the bad part. Light was moving beneath her skin. She clutched her head and the Doctor scrambled over to her. He clasped her hands, pulling them away from her head.

"Easy," he whispered. Rose immediately tried to pull her hands free of his but he held on. "You need to calm down," he told her. "Rose..."

"Don't touch me," she wailed, trying to twist away from him. "All those voices. Screaming," she cried. "How could you?!"

"Rose..." he tried again. "Please, calm down." Her head fell back against the headboard as she cried. He wanted so desperately to pull her into his arms, do anything to ease her pain. But what could he do to ease it when he was the reason for it?

Rose leaned towards him, putting her hands to his chest and pushed him away with all the strength she had. He fell back, her hands slipping out of his.

"Get away from me!" she screamed. Endless tears fell from her eyes. She put her hands up in front her face, staring at the light as it shifted beneath her skin and she cried harder. She clenched her hands into fists, punching the bed in aggravation.

"Rose, you have to stop," the Doctor tried again. She pulled up her knees and rested her forehead against them.

Though he could no longer see her tears, her could still hear her sobs. The Doctor tried reaching out with his mind. Trying to help her but he couldn't reach her. Her mind was completely cut off. She shouldn't be able to do that. She was so very good at shutting him out even though she hadn't had any training. She shouldn't be able to put up walls that strong. He prodded carefully, trying to find some weak-point that would let him get in.

Her head flipped up and her tear-filled eyes met his.

"Stay out of my head!" she screamed at him. He withdrew instantly. Her head dropped back to her knees, she interlocked her fingers across the back of her head. The dusted light had begun to swirl around her. She moaned in pain. If he didn't do something she was going to burn.

The Doctor moved over to her. He hesitated only for a moment before he put his hands over hers. She immediately twisted away.

"No," she moaned, trying desperately to escape him. The Doctor struggled to not let it get to him. To not feel the pain of her rejection. But it was like a knife to his chest. He pushed her hands away and ceased a hold of her head. The bond flared to life. She clasped his wrists, trying to bend free but he was stronger than her. He forced her head up, forced her to look at him. The hate in her eyes was enough to shatter any hope he'd had that she might forgive him. He had regenerated enough times to know what death felt like and this was worse. Knowing Rose Tyler would hate him for the rest of her days was the kind of pain you didn't survive.

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut, finding he did not have the strength to bear her hatred for one more minute. He reached out his mind across the bond. It was easy to link with hers when he touched her, even though she fought against it. He tried desperately to twine their minds together but he could only succeed to a certain extent without her co-operation. _Rose_ , he whispered to her mind. _I need you to stop. You need to stop._ He could feel her mind screaming, the pain was overwhelming. He wrapped his mind around hers. _Stop_.

Hearing her cry was like needles against his skin. He couldn't bear it when she cried. He knew what most effectively engaged her heart but he couldn't bear to do that. Not when she had just said she hated him. So he tried words instead. _I'll let you go_ , he whispered to her mind. _I'll do anything. I'll take it back. I'll let you die if that is what you want. I promise, anything._

Then, like a puzzle piece clicking into place she connected her mind with his. The bond flared up. All that errant power inside her shifted, moving across the bond, binding them together instead of tearing them apart. Euphoria rushed through his veins. But it was biological not emotional. For in his hearts there was only pain.

Rose opened her eyes and looked into the Doctor's. His fingers were still at her temples. She could still feel his mind twined with hers. She pulled back. His hands fell to his lap in defeat, he didn't even try to hold on.

Rose knew the dream had been more of a memory than a dream. She'd gotten fractured broken images. But the more she tried to hold on to the pieces, the further they slipped away. They weren't really her memories to keep after all. All she could remember, all she could feel is that she'd burned. The Doctor had poured everything he had into her and she hadn't been able to take it. She'd burned until there was nothing left of her but ashes. And all that energy had been released, burning across the skies. Burning worlds. A thousand voices screaming. What she didn't know is how she was still here. Why she wasn't ashes.

"It was just one possible future," the Doctor said, his eyes on his hands. She looked up at him. He wasn't looking at her.

"Did you read my mind?" she asked. He laughed completely without humour.

"It's not that hard to guess what you were thinking," he answered. "And no, I don't know quite how you stopped it from happening. I thought it was all over, the prophecy realised but then it was like you... I don't know. You pulled it all back. It was impossible and you did it anyway. I've never met anyone as strong as you."

"I can still hear them screaming," Rose said. "A hundred worlds burning."

"It never happened," the Doctor said, still not looking at her. "You saved them."

"And you were prepared to sacrifice them. All those worlds for the chance to save one human life."

"Not just any human life," he said. The Doctor finally looked up at her. His eyes were dark and flat, revealing nothing. "Your life," he said. "I was willing to let it all burn for a chance to save you."

"What if I wouldn't have been strong enough?" Rose pointed out. "I could have..." she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. "How could you do that?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Because I love you," he said simply. There it was, the untainted truth. Everything he'd done. all the pain he'd put her through, all the wrong choices he'd made was for this one simple fact. He loved her. "I've never loved like this before," he was saying. "I guess I don't quite know what to do with it."

Rose just stared at him. That didn't make any sense.

"But you... you told me you'd had kids once," she tried. "You must have been married or at least..."

"I was."

"I don't understand."

The Doctor took a deep breath, struggling to form his thoughts into something resembling coherent sentences.

"People on Gallifrey were not born Time Lords," he explained. "We became what we were through millions of years of exposure to the time vortex. It became a calling. You dedicated centuries to study. It's was higher form of learning. A responsibility."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Marriage for Time Lords was... well. You didn't marry out of love. Not the way you see love. You married out of compatibility." The Doctor reached out his hand. "Love like..." He brushed his finger lightly against the back of her hand. "...this." Rose felt the tingle running across her skin from the point where he grazed her. "Was forbidden," he finished.

"You were not allowed to love?" Rose asked perplexed.

"Not like this," the Doctor said sadly, brushing his knuckles against the back of hers.

"But that's horrible," Rose breathed.

"No it's not," the Doctor refuted. "Or at least I didn't know it was until I met you." He pulled his hand back. "Time Lords are powerful Rose, more than you know. We can not only see all of time and space we have the technology to manipulate it. We had to stand above it all." He looked up at her, a hint of desperation in his eyes. "You saw what happened when I was faced with the choice to risk destroying everything or saving you and I chose to save you."

"You're saying you felt this way before? Before all this even happened?"

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his eyes. Was it possible she hadn't seen? Hadn't known? The possibility hurt. He might never have said those three words to her but he'd showed her, in everything he did. Everything.

"Don't you think I felt you every time I took your hand?" he asked, his eyes squeezed shut. "Every time I held you?" He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Don't you think I wanted so much more? Don't you think that every day with you wasn't a bittersweet agony because I knew I could never have you?"

"But why couldn't you...?"

"Because of this!" he interrupted angrily, indicating the both of them. He got out of the bed in a flurry of motion.

Rose watched as he began pacing back and forth in front of her bed.

"It wasn't long after I met you that I realised I was falling in love with you," he explained. "I even tried not to, but it didn't work..." He stopped his pacing and looked forlornly at her. "Don't you see?" he asked desperately. But Rose wasn't sure she did. "I would never have been able to hold back!" he cried.

"You're saying this exact thing would've happened whether I'd been dying or not?" she asked. The Doctor nodded.

"It's instinct," he said. "Millions of years of instinct urging every fibre of my being to bind itself to yours." He ran shaking fingers through his hair. "But you're human. You saw what happened in the dream didn't you? How could I risk that just for the chance of being with you?"

"Is that why you stopped? During the starfire..."

"Yes. Could you feel it then? My mind binding with yours?"

"Yes, I could feel it," Rose answered, remembering how suddenly every touch had felt like sparks across her skin.

"It scared the hell out of me," the Doctor said. "I was just kissing you and already I couldn't hold back."

Rose leaned her head against the headboard. "This is insane," she muttered.

"Think about it like this," the Doctor tried to explain. "All beings run on a different charge, a different voltage. If a human being is a regular AA-battery then a Time Lord is the equivalent of a lightning strike."

"And lighting would kill me."

"Yes."

"But it didn't."

"No. The oracles. They gave me this as the one chance to save you, to use all that power to heal you not just bind us together. But because of the prophecy I knew that it could might as well go the other way. They way I feared. The way I always thought it would. The power just burning through you and burning everything else with it."

"And Time Lords do this when they fall in love and they..." she trailed off as the Doctor shook his head.

"No, Rose. Time Lords don't fall in love. "

"But you did...?"

The Doctor walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. He reached out his hand but Rose drew away. He swallowed hard as he pulled his hand back.

"This was only whispered about in hymns and fairytales," he explained sadly. "I had never even heard of it happening during my lifetime. This is rare Rose. So rare it was more legend than fact. This never happens."

"Then why did it?" she asked and he laughed mockingly.

"You want me to tell you why I fell in love with you?" he laughed. "How am I supposed to do that? How could a mere word or a thousand words ever describe that?"

Rose let her head fall. The Doctor looked at her and then he reached out and with the tips of his fingers under her chin he urged her face back up. She didn't pull away instantly.

"I fell in love with you because you are beautiful in every sense of the word," he said. "And I don't just mean your face. You have the most beautiful heart I've ever seen. I fell in love with you because you are brave and clever, because you help without ever being asked, because you shine like the sun and I can no longer imagine an existence without you. And I love you, Rose Tyler, because you make me better."

Rose clasped his hand and for one shining moment it seemed as though she leaned towards him. But then she drew back, removing his hand.

"What?" the Doctor asked. "You don't believe me?" The thought of her not trusting this had never occurred to him. Him, loving her was a fact, a fixed point. Something that could never be rewritten. His love for her was absolute.

"No," Rose immediately refuted. "I believe you. Of course I believe you."

"Then what...?" She moved away, putting her feet on the floor so they were sitting with their backs to each other.

"They were right," she said sadly. The Doctor turned around, staring at her back. Her neck was bent, her blonde hair falling over one shoulder.

"Who was right?" he asked, feeling panic starting to surge through his blood.

"The Time Lords."

"What about them?" He asked even though he feared he already knew the answer.

"You're a Time Lord, even more than that, you're the Doctor, you can't... afford to love like this,"

"What?"

"Think about it Doctor," Rose said, struggling to swallow the tears welling up in her throat. "What happens the next time? When you are faced with this choice again? Will you choose to save me or them?'

"Rose..."

"No!" she interrupted him. "Tell me now that you will always chose them! Always. And I will stay with you forever. I'll never leave you. But only if you can tell me that you'd choose them. Every time."

The Doctor shook his head sadly, feeling the last pitiful remnants of hope disappearing like ashes on the wind.

"I can't do that," he said.


	15. Chapter 15 - I know your heart

Chapter 15 - I know your heart

The Doctor crashed into the library, tipping over some vase in his haste. Donna jumped where she sat on the sofa when the vase crashed to the floor.

"What in the bloody hell!?" she exclaimed. "Are we at war?!" She fell silent at the look of utter devastation on the Doctor's face.

"Donna, I need you," he ground out. Donna shot to her feet, tossing the book she'd been perusing on the table. She hurried over to him.

"What are you talking about? What's happened?" The Doctor leaned back against the doorjamb as though he didn't quite have the strength to hold himself up on his own.

"Rose," he said.

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific," she told him.

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut. "Please, Donna. I don't want her to be alone."

"Then why aren't you...-"

"I can't," he interrupted her, grounding the words out between his teeth. "She doesn't want me there." He hit the back of his head against the doorjamb. "I can't," he repeated.

"Alright, alright," Donna hastily assured. "I'll see that she's ok."

The Doctor shook his head. "She's not ok," he said quietly.

Donna felt reluctant to leave him in this state. "Are you...-" she began.

"Just go!" the Doctor ordered.

Donna scrambled away. Too late she realised she had no idea where Rose even was. The whole ship was like on giant, never-ending maze. She turned around to go back only to find the hallways behind her had changed. She turned back around. What the hell? Donna continued forwards. She stopped in front of a door and stared in wonder at the small name tag next to it. Rose, it said. She looked around. She'd noticed both the Doctor and Rose spoke of the ship as though it was a person, as though it was alive. Had it somehow guided her here? Even marking the door so Donna would know where Rose was? Donna shook her head. No, that was ridiculous.

Donna knocked once on the door and opened it. The room was dark, the only light came from a knocked over lamp on the floor behind the bed. Donna could just make out the contours of a closet and some items of clothing strewn on the floor.

"Rose?" she asked hesitantly as she took a couple of steps inside. First there was only silence.

"He sent you, did he?" came Rose's voice from somewhere in the darkness. Donna took another couple of steps inside, trying to pinpoint the origin of her voice.

"I think he's really worried," Donna said carefully.

"I can't seem to put the walls back up," Rose said, drawing in a shaky breath. Donna had no idea what that meant. "He can feel the pain I'm in." Donna walked around the bed. There were shards from a broken mirror all over the floor. They cast the light from the fallen lamp in strange shapes around the room. Rose was curled up in a corner.

The girl didn't look up as Donna drew closer. She just stared ahead at nothing. Donna's eyes fell on Rose's hand. She was clutching a shard of the mirror so tightly blood was dripping from her hand onto the floor. Donna knelt down next to her, mindful of the glass.

"Rose, no." Donna said softly. She reached out her hand, intending to remove the shard. But the minute she touched Rose's skin Donna drew her hand back on a hiss. It had burned. Just like in the kitchen. Rose's gaze flickered down to the shard she was holding. She stared at the blood. "Rose, let go," Donna said softly, not quite able to keep the worry from her voice.

Rose opened her hand and let the bloodied shard fall to the floor.

"I didn't realise I was holding it," Rose said. Donna got to her feet and retrieved a towel form the bathroom. She hunkered down next to Rose and pressed the towel into the palm of her hand, careful not to touch her bare skin. "Didn't mean to hurt you," Rose said, her voice devoid of emotion. "Can't seem to control it properly. Keeps... fluctuating."

"It's ok," Donna said.

Rose tightened her hand into a fist around the towel. Donna couldn't quite tell in the semi-darkness but she didn't think the cut was too deep.

"He told me everything," Rose said after a long while, sounding as though she wished he hadn't. Donna tried to sit down, mindful of the glass that too clearly reflected the state Rose was in. Broken. All broken.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Donna asked carefully. Rose took a deep uneven breath. Donna could see her hands shaking.

"I didn't know anything could hurt this bad," Rose said. "I thought before... When he wouldn't tell me the truth. When I thought he'd done something unforgivable. But this is worse." A broken sob fell from her lips. "I didn't want to die before I just came to a point were I accepted it, but now... I want to die now. "

"Don't say that." Donna told her sharply. She reached out towards Rose but stopped halfway, remembering how her hand had burned. Regretfully Donna drew her hand back. Rose didn't seem to notice.

"Maybe I should," Rose was saying, her eyes frighteningly empty as she tilted her head a little to the side, considering the thought. "He would be free of me. No one else would have to get hurt because a Time Lord fell in love."

The words were so sad. Her voice so devoid of hope. Rose finally turned her head and looked at Donna. Her eyes were dark, bottomless pits of... nothing. It was like staring into an abyss, a black hole. Nothing there but darkness.

"It's like someone took my heart and ripped it out of my chest...," Rose said. It was eerie hearing the pain in her voice when none of it was in her eyes. "...and then handed it back to me saying I must keep it but never use it."

Donna flinched at the analogy but as she looked at Rose she realised it was true. For her it was true. Her pain was physical as much as emotional. Donna braved her fear and reached out and clasped Rose's hand. Rose flinched but her skin didn't burn Donna this time. She gave her hand a squeeze and after a while Rose gave hers a squeeze in return.

"What can I do, Rose?" Donna asked. "Tell me what I can do." Rose looked at Donna, one lonely tear falling down her cheek.

"Take care of 'im," she said sadly.

"Rose..."

"I need to know he'll have someone. You were right before. He needs someone with him. He's gonna need it more than ever now."

"Rose you can't leave him," Donna said.

"I...I have to."

"You can't... Rose you didn't see him before. He lost you once I don't think he'll survive a second time. I don't...-"

"He'll be fine," Rose interrupted her but even Donna could tell she didn't really believe that. Rose squeezed Donna's hand as though she was begging for reassurance. But Donna couldn't give her that.

"Rose, he loves you..."

"Don't you think I know that!" Rose spat, sudden fire flaring in her eyes, the first sign that there was anything alive left inside her. "Don't you think it breaks me?! I can't even breath! I can't think...!...I..."

"I'm sorry," Donna tried to tell her but Rose's grip on her hand was tightening. Donna drew back as the strange light seemed to grow in the blonde girl's eyes. Donna hissed as burning pain ran up her arm from where Rose touched her. She tried to pull free.

"It's all broken now!" Rose hissed. Donna was staring at Rose. She looked half mad and her hand was burning. Donna tried to pull away again but Rose wouldn't let her go. "Don't you see?" Rose asked. "It's killing me."

Donna realised she truly was breaking apart, tearing at the seams. She was loosing it.

"Rose stop." Rose's burning eyes flickered up. Donna turned her head and found the Doctor standing, framed in the doorway. "You're hurting her," he said, his voice hard and commanding but somehow still sprinkled with sympathy.

"Stop?" Rose hissed. "Like you stopped!?"

In the blink of an eye, the Doctor was across the room, kneeling down next to them. He clasped the hand Rose had wrapped so tightly around Donna's. If he felt the burning pain, his face showed none of it.

"Let go," he told Rose. "Let go." They stared at each other and Donna got the feeling they were arguing but she couldn't hear a word spoken. She saw the Doctor's face harden and then he pulled them apart. Rose cried out with anger and Donna immediately scrambled back. "Get out of here," the Doctor told Donna, his eyes fixed on Rose.

"Doctor..." Donna began, worried.

"Get out," he repeated, his voice hard and flat. Donna scrambled up on her feet and fled the room, leaving behind a broken world.

Rose glared at the Doctor and he glared right back.

 _Are you done?_ he asked to her mind.

 _Done?_ she hissed back across the bond. She raised her hand as though to strike him but he caught it before she had a chance to do anything.

"Stop it!" he told her. She tried to pull her hands free, destruction burning in her eyes. "Stop!" he insisted.

"I hate you!" Rose spat.

"Stop," the Doctor growled back. There was a madness in her eyes as she nodded.

"I do," she said. "Oh, I do."

"Stop it."

"I...hate...you."

"Stop it, Rose. I said, stop it!"

"I hate you for what you did!" she screamed. "I hate you for tricking me into coming with you! I hate you for loving me!" The Doctor got to his feet and dragged her up with him. "I hate you!" Rose screamed. "I hate you! I hate you!" He took her and slammed her into the wall behind her. Anything to stop the painful flow of her words. Rose's breath left her in a whoosh.

"STOP IT!" he screamed at her, his fingers clutching her wrists mercilessly.

"Let go of me!" she screamed back at him.

"Let go of you?" he hissed. "How am I supposed to let you go?" He shook her once. "How Rose?! Tell me because I would like to know. I couldn't bear being away from you for ten minutes how am I supposed to last a lifetime?!" She turned her head away. He tried to catch her eye. "Is it that simple for you then?" he asked. "Hm?" She still wouldn't look at him. "Is it that easy, Rose? You can just walk away. Leave me just like that. Is that the way of it?" He could see her jaw working as she ground her teeth together. "Look at me!" he screamed.

Rose squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the horrible pain in his voice. But she couldn't. Because it was inside her as well. Their hearts were mirror images, holding the same fears, the same useless hopes. She turned her head slowly and opened her eyes. They immediately found the Doctor's beautiful brown ones. She loved them as she loved all of him. But not just the shade of them, that dark, rich brown that turned to amber in sunlight. But the way they could light up with wonder and child-like excitement. The way they'd seem to spark as he discovered something that surprised him or the way they used to softened when he looked at her. The way they never did anymore.

"Yes," she said, knowing what she was doing, what she felt she had to do. She saw all the blood drain out of his face, he became as pale as Devon sand and she knew in that exact moment that even though he might not believe her, even though his hearts would tell him differently, that one word had seeded enough doubt that it would fester and grow between them like a cancer and eventually rip them apart. It is what had to be done even if it broke her to do it.

The Doctor shook his head as he stared at her. No, no, no his eyes said.

"Don't say that to me," he whispered, his voice frail and fractured. Rose wanted to scream at the world. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was a lie. A stupid, pointless lie. But she didn't.

"It is the truth," Rose said instead.

"No, you're lying. You have to be." Rose said nothing.

After his confession, her soul, if such a thing existed had broken inside her. Every shard was as sharp as the broken pieces of mirror littering the floor and it felt like every time she took a breath or moved those shards cut her on the inside. Bleeding her out. But you survived heartbreak. People did all the time. If she could just put enough distance between them for him to let her go, he'd be alright in the end. He was always alright, her Doctor. And the world would be safe. No one else would get hurt because of them.

"You're lying," the Doctor said again and before she had a chance to react he'd taken a hold of her face and kissed her.

Rose was so surprised she froze. The Doctor brushed his thumb once across the curve of her cheek and a tingle ran over her skin. She could never seem to get used to it. The way her blood ran with electricity, the way every cell in her body seemed to suddenly come alive. It was just as overwhelming now as it had ever been. Rose clasped the labels of his suit, desperately trying to stay on her feet. His mouth slanted over hers as her blood sang in her veins. And she kissed him back.

The Doctor ceased a hold of her, trapping her between him and the wall, moulding his body with hers. His hands got tangled in her hair, his lips desperate and urging against hers. And she let go. Her mind twined with his in complete abandon and the more the strands weaved together, the more intense the sensations became. It was like she could feel what they were both feeling at the same time.

The Doctor kissed her harder and she was kissing him back with the same intensity, she couldn't not. His arm came around her waist and she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. They could get lost in it. So easily. Forget all about the consequences. Let it consume and rage through them like a fire until there was nothing left but this.

 _I know your heart Rose Tyler,_ she heard him whisper inside her mind and she understood. She tore herself away from him, screaming.

"You tricked me!" She pushed at his chest, trying to get him away from her. "You bastard!" The Doctor got a hold of her wrists again, forcing them back against the wall while she struggled.

"And you lied!" he screamed at her.

Rose had just wanted to make it doable. Not bearable because nothing about this was bearable. Just doable. Because they could never be together She knew that and she knew he did to. They weren't selfish creatures by nature. They could never live with the sacrifice of innocent lives for the sake of their own happiness. It would destroy them eventually.

The Doctor let go of her wrists. She could feel their minds still twined together and knew he'd shared her thoughts. He brushed his fingers against her face, his touch featherlight, suddenly so very gentle. It felt like goodbye.

"I just wanted to keep you," he said, his voice unbelievably sad.

"I know," she replied.

"I thought, maybe just maybe the universe would let me have this one thing. Just this one thing." He said moving closer. His eyes caught hers. "I'm sorry."

"I know," she said again. The fight was swiftly going out of her. She took a deep breath, feeling the shards cut inside her chest until she couldn't take the pain anymore. Tears fell down her cheeks. Tears she shouldn't allow but could never stop.

"Don't cry," he whispered, his forehead falling against hers. "Rose, I can't bear it when you cry."

She shook her head, trying to force the tears to stop. But they only fell harder. So the Doctor took her and gathered her up in his arms, holding her and whispering softly in her ear. She had heard those words before. At Torchwood when he came back after she'd feared he might died. He'd held her even though she was angry with him and he had whispered words she couldn't understand. And when she'd asked him about it he'd told her it wasn't important. But the words didn't sound unimportant. They sounded like vows. Promises. Endearments.

The tears fell silently down her face. She wanted to rage and howl at the world. But she didn't. She just cried and cried while the Doctor held her. Cried until she couldn't cry anymore, until she was completely exhausted and no longer had the strength to stand. Then the Doctor slid his arm under her knees and lifted her up. He carried her back to her bed, laying her down gently.

He noticed her still bloodied hand. He wrapped his fingers around it and held it up.

"What happened?" he asked. Though there was still blood it seemed the wound had healed,

only a faint red scar left in the middle of her palm.

"Accidentally cut myself on a piece of the broken mirror," she said, avoiding looking at him. He regarded her for a moment, then leaned down and placed a brief kiss over the scar. She looked up and their eyes met.

"What's gonna happen to us?" she asked.

"I don't know," he answered.

"It's not gonna end well though is it?" The Doctor said nothing.

Rose curled in on herself, pulling her knees up to her chest and pulling her hand out of his. She nodded into the pillow, not looking at him, his silence enough of an answer.

The Doctor leaned down and kissed her forehead. His lips lingered on her skin, even though he knew it would only make things worse, making leaving hurt more. He forced himself to straighten and turn away. Walking out of that room, away from her. It felt wrong in every sense of the word. But he did it anyway because he couldn't disappoint her. He had to be better. He had to find the strength. Somehow he would have to find the strength.

He walked down the hallway, trying his best to ignore the pain. The Doctor made his way to Donna's room. He felt bad about putting her in middle of it all. It had never been his intention. The door to the room stood open and the Doctor found Donna pacing inside. He put his hands in his trouser pockets and leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb. Donna stopped as she spotted him.

"Oh, thank god!" she exclaimed. "I was worried you two would kill each other."

"Not yet," the Doctor said, shaking his head and swallowing hard.

"How is she?" Donna asked. The Doctor's eyes dropped to the floor.

"She's... broken." He rubbed at his tired eyes. "I did that," he said. "My fault."

"Doctor..." Donna began.

"Come on," he interrupted her, straightening. "I'm taking you home."

The Doctor led Donna through the TARDIS to the control-room in silence. He could feel her eyes watching him. She was worried. He walked over to the console, setting the coordinates for Earth.

"It will be alright," he said, looking up at Donna and trying to shape his expression to one of reassurance but wasn't sure if he succeeded at all.

"Will it?" Donna asked. The Doctor's gaze dropped from hers as he nodded.

"Sure," he said, unable to get any real conviction into his voice. He flipped a couple of switches, pulled a lever and the TARDIS hummed to life. Donna came over and put a hand on his arm.

"Give it some time," she said. "You'll find a way to be together." The Doctor clasped the edge of the console, letting his head drop in defeat. He knew there was not only hate left in Rose's heart as he'd feared. He'd felt her come alive beneath his hands. He had felt her love across the bond. But all that meant was that it would be just as hard for her as it would be for him. The Doctor powered the TARDIS down. He couldn't think about Rose, about them. It was tearing him apart

"You're home," he told Donna. "Best get going.".

Donna's eyes were sad as she turned away from him. She stopped and turned back at the door.

"If you ever need... anything, you know where to find me," she said and gave him a little encouraging smile. He wanted to smile back at her but found he didn't have the strength so he just gave her a nod. Donna turned and walked out. The Doctor turned back to the console. He looked at the screen. The calculations were almost done. Then suddenly the whole place shook. The Doctor grabbed the console to stop himself from falling over. What the hell was going on? He glanced at the doors. Whatever it was it had come from outside. He ran over to the doors and yanked them opened. the Doctor stared into empty space.

"But that's impossible," he said to the blackness in front of him. He ran back to the console and looked at the screen. "We haven't moved," he muttered. "We're fixed."

Rose came hurrying inside the control-room.

"What's going on?" she asked. He glanced over at her. Her eyes were still red-rimmed and her skin was pale. He looked away quickly.

"Don't know," he said. "I just dropped off Donna and..." he trailed off. "Take a look outside," he said. Rose walked over the doors and pulled them opened. She stared out at the blackness of space.

"We're in space," she said.

"Yeah," the Doctor confirmed. "But we're not supposed to be. We're supposed to be on Earth." Rose turned around and looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"So where is it?" she asked. The Doctor looked up and his eyes met hers.

"I don't know," he said. "It's just gone. The whole planet. It's gone."

 **I'm very sorry this took me so long to post. I just started my summerjob last week so I've had a lot to do. Again I feel I must thank you for the favs and follows and for the absolutely wonderful reviews. Especially since I can't reply personally to some of you. Thank you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me. Quite a few of you have literally brought tears to my eyes. So thank you again**!


	16. Chapter 16 - The Shadow Proclamation

Chapter 16 - The Shadow Proclamation

Rose closed the TARDIS doors and slowly walked over to the console while the Doctor kept muttering about the impossibility of what had just happened.

"Doctor," Rose said. "Doctor?" He looked up at her.

"Just like the moon of Poosh," she pointed out.

"You're right," he said. "This isn't an isolated event. It's connected. It's all connected." He ran his fingers through his hair. "But how?"

"What if there are more? More planets that's disappeared."

"Yes. Yes!" he exclaimed. He ran around the console. "We need more information. More data." He flipped switches as he went. His hand brushed against her back as he ran past her and Rose stiffened. She wrapped her arms around herself. He stopped at the screen.

"Sorry," he said without looking at her. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's ok," Rose said, her eyes on the floor.

"Force of habit," he said.

"I know, Doctor it's alright."

"You really need to stop saying that," he muttered as he set new coordinates. Rose took a deep strengthening breath.

The Earth had just disappeared out of the sky. They didn't know where it was or if they could even get to it. They needed to stay focused. This was connected to the stars going out, the walls breaking down, Rose could feel it. All those people. Rose and the Doctor couldn't let themselves get distracted by what they were going through. Their issues did not matter in the grand scheme of things. Not when there were lives at stake. Or at least she thought they didn't. But as time would show she couldn't be more wrong.

Rose looked up at him. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"The Shadow Proclamation," he answered distractedly.

"I've heard you say that before. What exactly is it?" Rose asked.

"It's sort of an outer space police force," the Doctor explained as he put the TARDIS in flight. "They uphold Galactic Law."

"Yeah, thought it might be something like that," Rose admitted.

"Rose." The seriousness of the Doctor's tone caused Rose to pause. She looked over at him. His eyes were insistent. "Once we get there you can't leave the TARDIS," he said.

"Why?" she asked, surprised.

"They're not exactly psychic but some of them have a small, latent ability."

"And, what?" Rose asked. The Doctor sighed, his gaze dropping from hers. "You're afraid they'll find out what you did to me, is that it?" He didn't answer her. "Doctor?" Rose walked over to him. "You said what you did was forbidden. Would they enforce that if they knew?" she asked. The Doctor immediately shook his head.

"No, Time Lord's predate the Shadow Proclamation. They have no influence over our legal system."

"Then what?"

The Doctor sighed again. "I'm afraid they might discover what you can do," he said, glancing at her. "What you're capable off and decide to use you. I can't let them do that."

"You mean use me as a weapon," Rose said, taking a step back. She felt like she'd been punched in the gut. A weapon. That is what Annabelle Conn had called her. A beautiful weapon. A nuclear bomb just waiting to go off.

The Doctor looked over at her, ferocity in his eyes.

"I'll never let anyone use you," he promised. "Do you hear me Rose? Over my dead body." She nodded.

"I'll stay in the TARDIS," she said. The Doctor watched her for a moment longer. The TARDIS gave a sudden jolt. The Doctor read the readout on the screen.

"Could you push down those three buttons over there?" he asked Rose, pointing to a spot on the console. "The green ones." Rose nodded and walked over to the area he indicated. She pushed down the three buttons and the TARDIS stopped shaking. "Thanks," he said.

They rushed through the vortex and eventually, surprisingly enough made a soft landing.

"Are we here?" Rose asked, The Doctor nodded. He drew on his coat that was conveniently hanging over the railing and came over to her. He raised his hands as though he meant to take hers. But stopped and let his hands drop.

"Just stay here," he told her. "I'll find out what's happening and we'll fix it. I won't let the stars go out." Rose gave him a nod. Again he seemed to want to move towards her but stopped himself. He turned around and walked away. "I'll see you later," he said and reached for the doorhandles to the TARDIS doors.

"Not if I see you first," Rose replied thoughtlessly. She fell silent as she saw the Doctor's shoulder tense up. She would bet the exact same memory was flashing by inside their minds. An impossible planet at the edge of a black hole. The Doctor promising to come back. She having every faith that he would. The Doctor pushed open the TARDIS door and left.

Rose waited until he had closed the door behind him before cursing silently to herself. Stupid. She forced the thought from her mind and hurried over to the screen mounted to the console, trying her best to forget the tiredness weighing on her muscles and mind. She didn't have time to be tired.

Rose turned the dials until a clear picture of the Doctor standing outside the TARDIS appeared on the screen. Opposite him stood a troupe of strange looking aliens with head's like rhinoceroses. They were dressed in black and something about their outfits gave Rose the distinct impression of a police-force. She watched as the Doctor went with them, eventually disappearing out of sight. She sighed in frustration and fiddled some more with the dials until the camera shifted and spotted him again.

The Rhino-things ushered the Doctor into another room. A large white one, with a high ceiling and large glass table in the middle. A woman met him. She was dressed in a black floor length dress, loosely fitted and very official looking. Her hair and skin was papery white and red lined her scarlet eyes. Rose could tell she was speaking but she couldn't hear anything. Rose changed the settings on the screen and sound filled the speakers.

"You can not possibly exist," the woman told the Doctor.

"Yeaaah," the Doctor replied in a voice that relayed that he'd heard this many times before. "More to the point, I have a missing planet."

"Then perhaps you are not as wise as legend would have it," the woman said. Rose thought she sounded a tad smug as she said it. Rose got the feeling this woman didn't particularly like having a legend standing in front of her. A legend that didn't necessarily abide by her rules. "There are twenty-six planets as of now. Taken out of time and space."

"Show me," the Doctor told her. The woman strode over to a computer and the Doctor hurried over to her side. Rose followed them with the camera.

The Doctor pressed a button and large holographic images of the missing twenty-six planets filled the room. The Doctor went through the list, muttering the names of the planets to himself.

"You missed one," he said. The woman glared at the Doctor's back.

"We do not miss things, Doctor," she told him frostily. The Doctor punched in some buttons on the computer and the lost moon of Poosh appeared next to the other holographic images. Suddenly the holographic projections of the lost planets rearranged themselves. "What did you do?" the woman hissed.

"Nothing," the Doctor told her, strolling over to look more closely at the holograms. "They rearranged themselves into the optimal pattern," he said. "Like parts of an engine."

A little blip appeared on the screen in front of Rose, blinking. What did that mean? she wondered. The Doctor had started calculations of the bee- migration Donna had mentioned. He'd said it would take a long time. Could the blip mean it was done? Rose pressed her finger to the blip and the image of the Doctor wandering around holographic representations of planets minimised to one corner of the screen. Rose sighed as she saw what filled the rest of the screen. Circular Gallifreyan.

The one language the TARDIS didn't translate and one she couldn't hope to understand.

"I can't read this," Rose said out loud, exasperated. There was a hum from the TARDIS. "I don't know what that means either," she told the ship. The TARDIS hummed again, more insistent this time and thats when Rose realised that the hum was coming from inside her mind. Rose closed her eyes. Immediately a feeling of escape overtook her. Warning. Leave. Somethings happening. Fleeing.

Rose opened her eyes and looked at the TARDIS.

"The bees left the planet?" she asked. "So now bees are aliens? Give me a break." She ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes. "Ok, so where did they go...or, more importantly how did they know to leave? Some kind of warning or signal? Something only they could hear?" Rose mused. "If there was some sort of signal is there anyway to track it?" Rose looked at the screen and the symbols changed, not that any of it made any more sense to her. "Is that what you're doing now?" Rose asked, squinting at the circular shapes not understanding one word of it. She growled with frustration and spun away from the console. She turned back and looked at the image of the Doctor. He was still talking to the woman. Be done, Rose thought impatiently. The Doctor was talking about having seen something similar before, a long time ago.

This was taking too long, Rose thought, rocking back on the balls of her feet. They needed to find the missing planets now. They needed to stop whatever was happening. Time was running out, she could feel it slipping through her fingers. She walked across the room and opened the TARDIS door a crack. Rose peaked out. The hallway to the room where the Doctor seemed to still be talking and inspecting the holograms was empty. Rose sneaked outside, closing the door carefully behind her. All she needed to do was discreetly get the Doctor's attention. And besides, even if they did spot her what exactly were they going to do? She tiptoed down the corridor.

Maybe she could reach him with her mind, but she was reluctant to do so. She got the feeling that every time they did it, it twined them together a little more. There would come a point of no return. It might have hurt when she left the Doctor for Torchwood and the Doctor might be afraid that being in separate universes would hurt too much but if they kept weaving the strands between them tighter and tighter together Rose feared that pretty soon they wouldn't be able to be apart at all.

Rose crept closer and carefully peaked out into the room. She saw the Doctor standing in the middle, his specs on, surveying the holograms while muttering to himself. The woman from the Shadow Proclamation was watching him. There was a mix of both awe and distaste in her expression. Rose did a little wave with her hand to try and get the Doctor's attention but he was too focused on the holograms to notice and Rose was afraid that if she did any bigger movements the woman or the big rhino-things would spot her as well. She drew back and sighed with frustration. She just knew that the information the TARDIS had provided was important, possibly even vital and they were running out of time. She knocked her fist against the wall and took a deep breath. The Doctor was going to get so very pissed at her, she thought and took a step out.

At first no one noticed her. She walked into the room, back straight and head held high. Show no fear. Never show fear. It was how the Doctor did it and it always seemed to work for him. The minute she walked into the room it burst into motion. The rhino-things sprung into action and had her surrounded within seconds. They raised their weapons and Rose raised her hands to show she was not a threat. Not at the moment anyway. She looked up and her eyes met the Doctor's. He was staring at her in fear and disbelief. Anger would come later she imagined. The rhinos where shouting at her in a strange sort of monosyllable language. The woman with the crimson eyes stepped forwards.

"What is the meaning of this?" she barked. "Who are you?" The Doctor hurried forwards.

"She's with me," he hastened to say. "She's harmless, I assure you." Rose turned her eyes to the woman and found her red eyes fixed on her. She tilted her head a little to the side as she regarded Rose. Latent physic ability, Rose remembered the Doctor saying.

"I don't know what she is," the woman said. "But harmless is a word I don't think I'd use." She raised her chin, looking down her nose at Rose. The rhinos still had their guns pointed at her, their eyes watchful. "What is your name?" the woman asked, though it sounded more like a command than a request for an answer.

"Rose Tyler," Rose answered steadily, lowering her hands. "I'm not here to harm anyone so you can tell the big guys to put their guns down."

"How did you get in here?" the woman asked.

"Like the Doctor said..," Rose told her, a hint of impatience in her voice, They did not have time for this. "...I'm with him." She nodded her head in the Doctor's direction.

"I suggest you do as she says," the Doctor pointed out. "Or you'll have storms and wolves on your hands." He caught Rose's eye and winked at her. She gave him a crocked smile in return. The Oncoming Storm and the Bad Wolf. The Shadow Proclamation better watch out. The woman was looking from one to the other. Finally she gave the rhinos a nod and they lowered their weapons.

Rose could feel the Doctor at the edge of her mind but she kept the walls up as best she could. It was more difficult now when everything inside her had seemed to crumble. Keeping the energy contained outside the TARDIS was also a struggle. She needed to find some way to bind herself together even if only momentarily. The rhinos holstered their weapons and stepped back. The Doctor hurried over to her.

"You alright?" he asked her. He clasped her hand but she immediately drew it out of his. His eyes watched her suspiciously.

"I'm ok," she assured him.

"I do recall telling you to stay in the TARDIS," he leaned down and hissed in her ear.

"Do I ever do what you tell me to?" she hissed back. He rolled his eyes.

"No, I don't know what I was expecting," he muttered.

"Would either of you care to tell me what is going on here?" the women interrupted in her cold, authoritative voice. The Doctor tore his worried gaze away from Rose and turned around to face her.

"Rose Tyler," he said. "May I introduce the Shadow Architect, the elected leader of the Shadow Proclamation." Rose gave the woman a nod in greeting but the Architect stayed motionless, keeping her dark red eyes on them.

"And what are the rhino-things?" Rose whispered to the Doctor.

"Judoon," the Doctor answered. "The muscle. Hired muscle."

"Mercenaries?" Rose asked.

"Essentially, yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"If your mate is done with her inquiry perhaps we can return to the matter at hand," the Architect declared, her frosty glare glued to the Doctor.

"Ma..- What?" Rose asked, feeling rather chocked at the use of the word for it clearly wasn't used in the context she was accustomed to. Rose actually felt even a tad affronted. The Architect turned her gaze on Rose.

"Are you not then? she asked coldly. "He certainly behaves as though you are. Or perhaps concubine is a better word for I see no object of acknowledgement on you. " Rose didn't realise she had taken a step forwards until she felt the Doctor's hand around her arm, stopping her.

"Rose," he warned.

Rose tore her arm free but took a step back. No matter how dearly she wanted to punch the woman in the face there were more pressing matters at hand. The Doctor's gaze fixed on the Architect and her smug smile faltered.

"Our relationship is none of your concern Lady Architect," he said, his voice hard. "You need only know that she is important to me. More important than you can imagine and trust me when I tell you that you don't want me for an enemy." The dark promise in the Doctor's voice made the smile fall completely from the woman's lips and breif fear flickered by behind her eyes. But she quickly regained her composure.

"I assume the girl rushed in here for a reason?" she pressed, only the slightest quiver to her voice.

The Doctor turned to Rose. His eyebrows rose in question. Clearly she had to have had a very good reason since the Doctor had explicitly told her not to set one foot outside the TARDIS.

"She finished the calculations," Rose said. The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "I think the bees fled because they knew something was coming. They got some sort of warning. Something only they could hear." Rose could see the wheals turning inside the Doctor's head.

"The Tandocca scale?" the Doctor mumbled. "The Tandocca scale!" He ran over to the computer, Rose smiling a little as she watched him go. Despite the situation it was wonderful seeing him this way. He began frantically punching in numbers.

"Tandocca scale, Doctor?" Rose inquired.

"It's a series of wavelengths used as carrier signals my migrating insects," he explained. "Infinitely small, virtually undetectable if you're not looking for it." He punched in more keys. The Lady Architect came walking over to Rose. She moved slowly, fluently. She stopped next to Rose.

"He says he is a Time Lord," she said to Rose without looking at her.

"That he is," Rose confirmed.

"Then he is the last of his kind," the woman pointed out. Rose nodded.

"The last who will sacrifice all for the sake of one?"

Rose froze as she heard the Architect speak those words. She remembered those words. She had spoken them without thinking, having no clue were they'd come from and it had scared the Doctor. They spoke of the end he'd said. A prophecy as old as time,waiting in the time vortex for the right one. Then it struck her. The time vortex. Suddenly Rose knew where she'd heard those words. When she'd looked into the TARDIS and absorbed the Time Vortex. Words that had been waiting. Waiting first for the Doctor when he was but a child and then for her. But were they a warning or a promise? Had the prophecy been averted or was its realisation yet to come?

"How do you know those words?" Rose asked, finding it difficult to swallow, struggling to sound casual.

"It is you then?" the Architect said, half a question and half a statement. Rose said nothing. "Those words echo through time," she said. "You just have to know how to listen." She tilted her head a little as she considered the Doctor where he was still putting calculations into the computer. "I'm sure you fear it is a prophecy," she said. "But it is not. It is a choice. As things usually are. If it will be him that has to make it or you I do not know." Rose glanced over at the woman. She stood with her hands behind her back, her face cold and impassive. "The important thing is it is never to be made."

"There it is!" the Doctor suddenly exclaimed. "The transmat that took the Earth is running on the same frequency which means we can track it! Yes!"

The Shadow Architect stepped towards the Doctor. Rose didn't even notice as she nodded to the Judoon.

"Very good, Doctor," she said. "I must admit I am impressed."

Two big Judoon suddenly appeared on either side of Rose. They grabbed her before she had a chance to react. She tried to pull free but their grip twisted around her, hard as iron. The Doctor looked up as she cried out.

"What are you doing?" he asked the Shadow Architect.

"I'm afraid we can't allow her to go with you, Doctor," she said. Rose struggled against the Judoon even though it hurt. She felt energy moving inside her. Her hold on it was so very fragile. She struggled to lock it down. If the Doctor was worried they'd try and use her as a weapon by her just showing up, Rose couldn't imagine what they might want to do if she gave them a practical demonstration.

"Let me go!" she ordered. But neither of the Judoon moved so much as an inch nor said a word.

"You will come to thank us. Trust me," the Architect assured.

"Trust you?" the Doctor said in disbelief. "Your actions doesn't exactly inspire trust." A snarl twisted his lips. He was getting angry.

"It is for everyone sake. We will keep her here for now."

The Doctor stepped out from behind the desk. "You have no right to keep her," he told her quite simply. "I suggest for your own sake that you let her go right now." Rose noticed his tight clenched fists at odds with his calm, almost conversational tone. This is were you run, Rose thought about the Shadow Architect and her Judoon.

"It is..-" the Architect began again but the Doctor quickly interrupted her.

"I don't care why you are doing this. I care that you do as I say. Release her."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," the Architect replied with steel. Rose watched as the Doctor's face darkened. It was like the whole lighting in the room dimmed in tuned with his mood.

"Give her back to me," he growled. "Now."

"You have no authority here, Doctor," the Architect pointed out, the barest flutter in her voice. Even she could not fail to notice that she was dealing with something ancient and powerful.

"I'm a Time Lord," the Doctor said, no mistaking the command in his tone. "There is no higher authority than me." This was the ancient being shining through the Doctor's eyes. The man who had lived for over nine-hundred years and seen civilisations rise and fall.

"Your race is long since dead," the Architect told him.

"Yes, but I am not," the Doctor hissed. "Release her now." Rose could tell his patience was wearing very thin.

"We've heard of the fury of the Time Lords in whispers and legends of the higher species," the woman said. "It belongs in battle, Doctor. Now, whoever stole these planets and whatever they intend they have declared war. There is a time for talk and a time to fight. Now is the time to fight."

The Doctor walked over to the Lady Architect. He stopped mere inches away, glaring down at her.

"You can do whatever you want with your little police-force," he told her, effectively making the woman feel infinitesimal and Rose could tell how furious it made her. "But if you don't do as I say within the next ten seconds you will learn just why there are legends that have endured for hundreds of years. And why you should fear them."

"Doctor...-"

"Nine," he interrupted her.

"You can't...-"

"Eight."

"Listen to me...-"

"Seven."

"Doctor...-"

"Six." The Doctor's eyes burned with dark promise. There was a tightening just in the corners of the Architects eyes and a slight tremor in her hands. Rose couldn't tell if the tremor was out of fear or frustration. Perhaps both.

"Five," the Doctor continued to count. The Architect glared at him, holding her ground.

"I am trying to prevent destruction," she insisted. But the Doctor ignored her.

"Four," he said. The Architect clenched her jaw, refusing to budge. She was brave despite her growing fear, Rose would have to give her that.

"Three...

...Two...

One."

A deafening noise rang in their ears and the whole building shook. The Judoon lost their grip on Rose and she stumbled to the ground. The Doctor didn't miss a beat. He rushed over to Rose and pulled her to her feet.

"Run!" he yelled and took her hand, dragging her with him.

"Doctor!" they heard the Lady Architect's scream echo behind them.

They ran for the TARDIS. The building shook again. Could they even enter any kind of structure anymore without it falling down around them? They ran through the hallway, crashing to a stop at the TARDIS. The Doctor fished his key out of his pocket just as a laser-blast whisked by right next to them. Rose turned around to find a troupe of Judoon rushing towards them.

"Hurry!" Rose screamed at the Doctor. He pushed the key into the lock and turned it. Another blast nearly got Rose in the shoulder. She stumbled to the side as the Doctor pushed opened the doors. He took Rose and flung her inside, throwing himself in after her. He landed on the grated floor and kicked the doors closed before he scrambled to his feet.

"What was that?!" Rose asked urgently as they both hurried over to the console. The Doctor immediately began pressing buttons and pulling levers to get them out of there.

"An armed cruiser," he told her.

"An armed cruiser?" Rose asked in disbelief. "An armed cruiser decided to shoot up the Shadow Proclamation just as you were conveniently counting down to zero. How did you know?"

"I saw it coming on the screen as I was done with the calculations," the Doctor explained hastily, putting the TARDIS in flight, the familiar whining sound filling the room. "I had planned on telling them about it but then they went and threatened you and I thought to hell with them."

"To hell with them? Yeah well, can't argue," Rose said. The TARDIS shook as it hurled itself into space.

"Do we have a destination?" Rose asked. The Doctor was fiddling with the dials on the screen.

"What did you do with this?" he asked. "It's all... messy."

"I don't read Gallifreyan!" Rose pointed out in frustration. The Doctor glanced over at her with a surprised sort of look like he had expected she did. Then he gave her a crocked little smile. "I'll teach you someday." he said. Rose smiled back, just for a moment letting herself imagine that, that day might come. When she knew it never would.

The end was coming. Rushing towards them. Choices would be made and battles lost. Rose looked over at the Doctor as he turned his attention back to the screen. She had a feeling things were about to come full-circle. They needed to be ready, she thought. But how did you prepare yourself for the end when you didn't even know what it entailed? Rose absentmindedly wondered if the Doctor ever got used to it. Things ending. He had seen it enough times. Or did it hurt every time? Did it stay with him? "Ah, here we go," the Doctor declared. Rose came over to him. "See here, "he said, pointing at a blip on the screen.

"That's a blip," Rose stated the obvious.

"Yes, it is!" the Doctor confirmed. "A blip we can follow."


	17. Chapter 17 - I need you like I need air

Chapter 17 - I need you like I need air

They rushed through space, following a trail that was nothing more than fading hope. As soon as the Doctor was able he let the TARDIS fly and turned to Rose.

"Ok, so what happened?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest, his eyes intent on her.

"You want to do this now?" Rose asked incredulously.

"The TARDIS can handle the flying for a bit," The Doctor replied. He raised his eyebrows at her, inviting her to answer. Rose's gaze dropped, she fiddled with some button on the console."I told you to stay in the TARDIS," the Doctor told her. "I told you the Shadow Proclamation was not to be trusted. They're a meddling organisation with delusions of grandeur. I admit that they're needed but they have a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later."

"Sorry," Rose told him. "But it was important. We were in a hurry."

"What did it?" the Doctor asked. "What set them off, do you know?" Rose leaned back against the console. She rubbed at her arms, a desperate bid for warmth in the coldness of space.

"The Architect lady she wanted to know if you were the last," Rose said. "The last of your kind." The Doctor narrowed his eyes at this.

"Why would that interest her?" he asked.

"She knew that prophecy," Rose said. "The one that scared you. The last will sacrifice all for the sake of one?"

"What?" The Doctor straightened, surprised. "How could she?"

"She said the words echo. Echo through time." Rose wasn't quite looking at him. "You just had to know how to listen."

The Doctor ran shaking fingers through his hair. "That's not all," Rose said. He turned to her. "I remembered where I'd seen those words. How I knew them. It was when I looked into the heart of the TARDIS. It was like they'd been waiting there for me. In the Time Vortex."

"But it's over," the Doctor tried and Rose could hear the hint of desperation in his voice, how dearly he wanted that to be true. "You pulled it back. Everything didn't end."

"No," Rose agreed. "But it still could, right? Prophesies are all about interpretation, you said. How do we know it's not still out there, waiting?" The Doctor shook his head.

"No," he said in denial.

"Think about it Doctor," Rose tried to reason with him. "This is just one more bit of proof that...-"

The TARDIS jolted to a sudden halt, cutting Rose off.

"What was that?" she asked in surprise. The Doctor tore his gaze away from her and turned to the screen.

"No," he breathed. Rose hurried over to him.

"What?"

"The trail," he said. "It's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean, gone?" Rose turned her eyes to the screen. But it was still all swirls and circular patterns that meant nothing to her.

"It ends here," the Doctor explained. "The trail ends here."

"So where are all the planets?"

The Doctor stared ahead.

"I don't know," he said.

This was not allowed to happen, Rose thought desperately. They had to stop this or everything would fall apart. Her family, her mum, Pete, Tony, Mickey they would all die. Everyone would die. "Doctor, we have to do something," she urged.

Rose clasped his hand and his fingers immediately tightened around hers like a reflex. "Doctor?"

"I.. I don't know what..." he trailed off.

"No, don't say that. Focus. Just concentrate," Rose urged. She squeezed his hand, her fear for the people she loved and all those innocent lives forcing everything else from her mind. "If there is one thing we don't do it is give up," she told the Doctor with conviction. "We never give up." The Doctor glanced over at her. He was tired, she could tell. But despite that he gave her a small thankful smile. He reached out on impulse and brushed his hand over the curve of her cheek. The touch was so light she could barely feel it. But that didn't matter. The tingle still ran over her skin.

She drew back, out of his reach. His gaze fell from hers.

"I need to touch you like I need air," he said sadly and Rose knew exactly what he meant. It was like gravity. "But I know that every time I do it will only make it worse when..." The Doctor swallowed hard, unable to get the words out and Rose found herself being thankful for it. She wasn't sure she could bear to hear it no matter how true it was. He knew, just like she did. That every time they got close the link between them got stronger. He pulled his hand out of hers, straightening.

The Doctor rubbed at his tired eyes, trying instead to focus his mind on the task at hand. But trying to push Rose from his mind was like trying to tear out a heart. Painful and impossible. He could feel her eyes on him. The hope and faith in them. She trusted that he would find a way to solve this. To get them there. Wherever there was. She would never let him wallow in self-pity. She expected better from Doctor rubbed at his neck, forcing his mind to the problem in front of them.

How did they follow a trail that no longer existed? he thought. But why had it even stopped here to begin with? Right here? Why?

Both the Doctor and Rose froze as a ringing sounded through the TARDIS.

"What's that?" the Doctor looked up in surprise. For a moment his brain did not seem to be able to process the sound.

"Phone," Rose said with disbelief. The Doctor rushed around the console and grabbed a mobile he'd completely forgotten he even had.

"Martha's phone," he said with delight. He flicked it opened and put it to his ear. "Martha!" All he heard as a reply was a beep. "There's a signal!" he exclaimed. He rushed back to the screen.

"We can follow that?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded.

He locked the TARDIS onto the signal and the TARDIS jerked ahead. The Doctor and Rose clasped the edge of the console, both long used to the quick reflexes needed to stay on your feet in the TARDIS.

"We've locked on!" The Doctor called in delight. "The signal is pulling us through!"

"Through what? Time?" Rose asked as she struggled to hold on.

"Yes!" He stared at the screen. "Pocket universe. Oh, that is clever! Someone's put the entire Medusa Cascade one second out of sync with the rest of the universe. Perfect hiding place!"

"Oh, I hate it when you complement the bad guys," Rose muttered. "Remember they're trying to destroy the universe!' she reminded him.

"Still a bit clever," the Doctor felt compelled to point out. Rose rolled her eyes as the TARDIS gave a good shake making her loose her grip. She just managed to catch a hold of the console and stay on her feet.

"You alright?" the Doctor asked her, just stopping himself from reaching out and steadying her. He flipped a couple of switches instead, the shaking easing up a bit.

"Yeah," she said. "Fine." the Doctor's eyes widened as he stared at the screen.

"Rose, get over here," he said. She made it over to his side. The screen was showing an image of the space outside the TARDIS. Rose was staring at twenty-seven planets perfectly arranged in relation to each other.

"Oh, my god," Rose breathed. A big red coloured planet moved to reveal the familiar shape of the Earth. "It's here. We made it." Relief filled Rose's chest at the sight of the Earth. All the planets were moving on their own axis, their gravitational pulls keeping them in perfect unison. The Earth moved to reveal a massive structure in the middle of the circling planets. It was sphere shaped, divided in the middle by a rim to which there were attached at least five arms ending in, what looked like docking stations. Though it had the shape and size of a planet it was clear it was a construction. Metal gleamed among artificial light.

"What is that?" Rose breathed, just as a familiar saucer shaped ship docked at one of the stations. She knew that ship. She'd seen it before. She'd seen hundreds of them.

"Daleks," the Doctor said, his voice dropping to a growl, hate colouring his voice with darkness. There wasn't much hatred within the Doctor. There was anger and fury and compassion and love but there was not much he bore true hatred for. Except the Daleks. They were the reason he'd lost his people. Lost everything he'd known. And though his race had died, leaving him alone in the universe they somehow always seemed to survive.

Rose took his hand. She couldn't let him think he was alone. Not now.

"We got a call," he said darkly. He pressed a button and a face came onto the screen. Rose had to fight the urge to draw back in revulsion. It was a horribly aged and sagged face, deep lines cutting into its forehead and cheeks. Its skin was papery, almost appearing as though it was slowly decaying. There were no eyes in the eye-sockets. Skin seemed to be stretched over the hollow space, wrinkled and discoloured. There was some sort of metal brace attached to its head and wires were plugged into its skull. In the centre of its forehead was a glowing blue eye. Glowing like the eyestalk of the Daleks, Rose realised with horror. The lips of the creature twisted in a terrible, triumphant smile.

"Doctor," he said with satisfaction, the voice dark and raspy with an almost mechanical sound to it. Looking at him was like looking at a Dalek made of flesh and bone. A Dalek without it's armour. When you looked into that one eye and saw nothing but hate and a need for destruction it curled your stomach and sent a ripple of fear through your blood. Looking at this, maybe once human-like creature gave you the same sense of revulsion and dread, only worse.

"Davros." The Doctor stared at the screen, his eyes filled with confusion and disbelief. "You're dead," he said. "At the gates of Elysium. I saw your ship fly into the jaws of the nightmare child."

"Yet here I am, Doctor," Davros said with his eerily mechanical voice. "I've been waiting for you. You needed to be here for this. The rise of my new empire. Davros, the father of all Daleks!"

"So it's you then" the Doctor ground out between his teeth. "You were behind it all." Davros smiled, the movement twisting his face into a horrible mask. The Doctor was looking at the face of Davros as though he wanted nothing more than to kill him with his bare hands. But Davros was looking at the Doctor as though he was seeing an old friend. As though he had waited years for this reunion.

"Where is she?" Davros asked, an eagerness in his voice that sent a shiver of worry down Rose's spine. "Show her to me, Doctor. Show me your bad wolf." The Doctor turned his head and looked at Rose in shock. "Show me my creation," Davros said with a terrible glee. The Doctor's head snapped back to the screen.

"What?!" he asked, the sudden fear in that one word making Rose's blood run cold.

As Davros words penetrated her mind the only thing she could think was; no. No. Her hold on the Doctor's hand tightened until she feared it might be painful. Yet she could not ease it. Davros laughed. "What are you talking about?!" the Doctor screamed at the screen.

"Doctor," she said carefully. She tried to pull him away. He struggled against her.

"What do you mean?!" he barked at Davros and all Davros did was laugh. A horrible, twisted, mechanical laugh. He laughed until the picture cut out and the screen went dark. Rose stumbled back, her hand slipping from the Doctor's.

 _Show me my creation._

Rose shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the words, the echo of Davros triumphant laugh. That twisted thing could not have anything to do with what happened to her. What happened to them. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible.

"Rose..." Her eyes snapped up at the sound of her name, immediately finding the Doctor's.

"No," was all she managed to say. He took a cautious step towards her. And when she didn't instantly draw away from him he closed the gap between them, her name falling of his lips in a sigh. He brushed a tear fallen out of fear from her cheek and pulled her into his arms. Rose went without hesitation. She didn't think she could have remained standing on her own for another minute. She needed him. Needed him as she need air.

Rose's arms came around him. She held on tightly, feeling as though if she let go she would loose him forever.

"It's going to be alright, Rose," he whispered in her ear. She clutched at his jacket, fighting the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "I won't let him touch you. Never." Rose buried her face against the Doctor's shoulder. But she couldn't get Davros' words out of her head. It was as though he had put a snare around her neck and it was tightening and she couldn't breath.

"Tell me it was a lie," Rose mumbled into his shoulder. "Tell me he lied." She was pleading, she Doctor kissed her temple, sending a reassuring caress across her mind. But he didn't answer her, didn't utter one single lie to reassure her.

Rose shivered in the protective circle of his arms. She wanted to stay like this. Just like this. Her eyes closed to the world, feeling nothing but the Doctor. But she couldn't. She knew they couldn't. Reality was pressing in at the edges. So she drew in a shake breath and pulled away from him and the Doctor reluctantly let her go.

Slowly he turned his attention from her and back to the screen. "That signal on Martha's phone," he said. "It came from somewhere." He glanced over at her. She gave him, what she hoped was a reassuring smile but the frown-line between his brows did not disappear. He turned his attention back to the screen with obvious reluctance. The Doctor began running his fingers rapidly over the keys on the console. "We just have to pinpoint it," he was saying, his fingers continuing their tapping. Rose brushed her hair out of her face and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt cold to the bone.

"I've got something," The Doctor said. He turned the dials on the screen. A familiar face appeared on it. Rose turned her head and stared at it in utter shock.

"Jack?" she asked in surprise. He was flanked by two people she didn't know. A man in a suit and dark haired woman that looked strangely familiar.

"Rose?" Jack asked, staring at her. His eyes turned to the Doctor. "You found her," he said, both surprise and obvious happiness in his voice.

"Hang on," the Doctor said, turning more dials. The screen split and Sarah Jane appeared on the screen next to Captain Jack.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed in delight. "And Rose!" Rose gave the woman a smile. The Doctor turned the dials some more and Martha appeared.

"Doctor!" she smiled as she saw them. And last but not least Donna's face appeared next to Martha's.

"What the hell is going on?!" she demanded to know.

"Nice to see you too Donna," Rose said. Donna's face turned a little sad as she saw Rose.

"You ok?" she asked. Rose nodded even though she was far from ok.

"I assume we have all of you to thank for the signal that came through on Martha's phone," the Doctor said.

"It was a joint effort," Martha smiled.

"Good job." the Doctor gave them a nod of acknowledgement, proud of what they had achieved.

"Doctor, it's the Daleks," Jack quickly cut them off, getting down to business.

"I know," the Doctor replied.

"They're supposed to be extinct," Jack insisted.

"They were supposed to be extinct the last time too, Jack," the Doctor pointed out.

"They're everywhere," Sarah Jane said with fear in her voice. "They're killing people. Anyone who resists."

"It's worse than that, Sarah Jane," the Doctor told her solemnly. The woman's face fell. "It's Davros." Sarah Jane shook her head vigorously.

"He's dead," she said, the fear in her eyes doing nothing to ease Rose's about what Davros had said. Sarah Jane was brave. If she was this scared it was for a good reason.

"You don't know how badly I wish that were true," the Doctor said, glancing at Rose. He drew in a hasty breath, gathering himself.

"I'm putting the TARDIS down in London," he told them. "We're sitting ducks out here. I've masked the transmission so no one can listen to anything we say but I can't hold the signal for much longer so if you got something important I need to know. This is the time."

There was silence for a moment.

"You're not alone," Martha said with a quiet smile. Her words caused the Doctor to go very still.

"Yeah, we all got your back," Jack concurred.

"Always," Sarah Jane joined in. Donna's gaze moved from the Doctor to Rose and back again.

"Both of you," she said. Rose gave her a weak but grateful smile. The screen began to flicker and the faces of all the people the Doctor had travelled with these last few years disappeared.

The Doctor began flipping switches and pulling levers, steering the TARDIS towards Earth.

"She was right you know," Rose said next to him. He glanced over at her. "You're not alone. Even if I'm not..." she trailed off. "You're never alone," she finished, her gaze dropping from his. The Doctor turned back to the controls. Rose hung on as he steered the TARDIS past the planets, into the Earth's atmosphere and landed her on a dark street in the middle of London.

"Let's take a look," he said and headed for the doors. Rose followed after a moment of hesitation. The Doctor took a peak outside before he stepped out. As Rose joined him she noticed they'd landed on a small side street leading up to Trafalgar. She could just hint the columns of the National Gallery in the distance. The city seemed eerily deserted. A few cars seemed to have collided further down the street, left there while the owners probably fled. Glass from broken windows littered the pavements, reflecting the light form the overhead street-lamps, making the shards glitter like diamonds. Rose's eyes drew to the sky. It was a sky she'd never thought she'd see, standing on Earth. No longer did a lonely moon hang pale and solemn in the dark. Now the night was strewn with new stars and planets. Some of them so close she could distinguish their individual colour. One was gunmetal grey and another had stripes in cinnamon and gold. Surrounding them is what looked like storm clouds, lightning flashing inside them. But Rose had travelled with the Doctor long enough to know that they were not storm clouds. It was a nebula. Interstellar clouds of dust and helium and ionised gases. The colours of the clouds shifted in emerald green and ruby reds. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

"Why must something so terrible be so beautiful?" Rose asked as though of the sky itself.

"...Gods and devils," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "...and the battlefield is the heart of man." He said it in such a way that Rose knew it had to be part of some quote or passage. But it was not one she recognised.

If she listened she thought she could hear screaming in the distance, reminding her that this was not the aftermath of a great defeat. The battle was still raging.

The Doctor took a couple of steps back. "We should get back inside," he said and turned around, heading back to the TARDIS. A flicker of light caught Rose's attention. She turned her head. She was staring onto a dark side-street. There was nothing there. She turned around to follow the Doctor into the safety of the TARDIS when one of the worst sounds in the world echoed through the dark night.

"EXTERMINATE!"


	18. Chapter 18 - Rain on fire

Chapter 18 - Rain on fire

Rose twirled around, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She expected Daleks to come out of the shadows, the blue light from their eyestalks heralding their arrival. But the streets were dark. She saw nothing. But she knew she'd heard it. The horrible sound still echoed inside her head. She took a couple of steps down the street, squinting into the darkness. She knew she should turn back and head for the TARDIS but what if someone was in trouble? What if she could help.

"Rose," she heard the Doctor call behind her. "What are you doing?"

"I heard something," she answered absentmindedly. Her eyes searched the empty street. Reluctantly she turned back. She saw the Doctor leaning out of the TARDIS looking at her. "Coming," she said and began walking back towards him.

A terrified scream cut through the night. "Help! Oh my god, help me!" Rose twirled around and ran before her mind had even caught up. She heard the Doctor call out her name after her but it was drowned out.

"Help me!" It was a female voice. A terrified female voice. Rose picked up her pace. She jumped over a fallen trash-bin. She turned down another street and instantly stopped.

The street-lamps overhead were out, casting the street into darkness. Only the last light down the line flickered on and off, illuminating a huddled up shape on the ground only to cast it back in shadow and then back into light.

Rose felt her heart hammering away inside her chest.

"If this is a trap, it's a really cliched one!" she called out, more to distract herself from the frantic pounding of her heart than anything else. Rose looked around. Everything was too silent, she thought. It almost felt as though she was standing in a vacuum.

"Help me..." she heard a moan from the huddled shape. She took off running down the street, just as the Doctor caught up with her.

"Rose," he hissed after her. She heard the annoyance in his tone. The same tone that he used when he told her not to wander off. The tone she probably should but never listened to. Her gaze flickered around, trying to penetrate the darkness. There were alleys going off in both directions between the houses on either side of her. All dark. Most of the shops had broken windows, dark empty holes gaping at her. She wasn't stupid, this had trap written all over it. But no one knew they were here, did they? Rose slowed down as she reached the lonely circle of light. She hunkered down next to the huddled up shape in it.

"Hey," she said carefully. "Are you ok?" She reached out her hand to its shoulder and pulled it over.

Rose fell back at the sight that met her. She caught herself on her hands. Lifeless, bloodshot eyes stared at her. It was a woman, an elderly woman. Her brown hair was caked with dried blood. The woman's lips were opened in a silent 'oh' as though her end had come as a surprise. Rose felt her heart clench inside her chest because as she stared at the dead face she realised she knew it. It was Harriet Jones. Rose put her hand to her mouth to stop herself from throwing up. She heard the pounding of the Doctor's footsteps against the pavement behind her as he hurried to her.

"Doctor, stop!" she called without turning around. "It's a...-"

"Trap, yes," a woman's voice finished for her. Rose's head flipped around towards the sound. She stared into one of the dark alleys and watched as a shape materialised out of the darkness.

It was a tall, lean shape, white pencil skirt hugged her slight curves and a delicate white silk blouse caught the light from the flickering streetlamp over Rose's head. Her black hair was cut short, ending at her chin, her long manicured nails were painted the same shade as her charcoal hair and her feet were incased in high-heeled black shoes. She emerged as a spectre out of the dark alley, smiling down at Rose. Annabelle Conn.

Annabelle held up a small device in her hand and pressed a button. 'Help me! Oh god, please help me!' wailed out of it.

"Recorded it before she died," she explained simply, indicating the body next to Rose. "Took longer than I would have expected to get her to scream." She smiled fondly at the memory as Rose stared at her in horror. "Then, just before I snuffed the light out of her I actually said I would let her go. You should have seen the look on her face. So surprised," Annabelle Conn leaned her head a little to side as she looked at the woman she had murdered. "Well, I suppose you can," she said, her smile widening.

"You're insane," Rose breathed, staring at Annabelle Conn because she couldn't bear to look at Harriet Jones. Annabelle turned her eyes to Rose.

"Maybe," she allowed. "I used to abhor hurting human life at least. Felt like such a waste. But now, I must admit it does have a certain charm to it. I begin to understand why my sister enjoyed her work so much."

Rose scooted back and got to her feet, backing away from Annabelle Conn.

"ROSE - TY-LER - LO-CATED." Rose stopped at the sound of that heartless mechanical voice. Dalek. Her blood ran cold in her veins as she turned around. A Dalek was taking form out of one of the dark alleys.

"Rose," the Doctor held out his hand for her. She took a step towards him and the Dalek immediately aimed its exterminator gun at her. She stopped. Rose was no more than fifteen feet from the Doctor but at the moment it seemed like a great wide chasm separated them. The Dalek rolled out onto the street.

"What do you want her for?!" the Doctor screamed at the Dalek. It turned from Rose, looking at the Doctor.

"DOC-TOR." Whenever the Dalek's spoke it was with a cold tone of voice. Very seldom any infliction of emotion but hate, except when they said the Doctor's name. Then you could hear the fear ingrained in their very DNA. Rose suspected there wasn't a Dalek alive that didn't know to fear the Doctor. "ENEMY- OF- THE- DA-LEKS," the Dalek said.

"Yes, I'm your enemy. So take me and leave her!"

"All in due time, Doctor," Annabelle Conn said conversationally. Rose turned to her.

"What do you want?" Rose asked her desperately.

"It's not about what I want, Agent Tyler," Annabelle said. "It is about what has to happen."

"And what is it that has to happen?" the Doctor asked, his voice hard, seething with anger. Annabelle Conn looked at him and her lips spread in a terrible smile. Terrible because nothing that could make her smile like that could ever be good.

"You have to watch the woman you love die," Annabelle Conn said. The Dalek swivelled back towards Rose.

"EXTERMINATE!"

Rose could see the light gathering at the Dalek- gun and her first thought was that she wished she could have had some time. Time to tell the Doctor everything she was afraid he no longer knew. But death would be instantaneous. She would get no time.

Rose saw a sudden light flare up out of the corner of her eye. In the next second the Dalek got blown to bits.

Rose started and turned. There stood none other than Captain Jack Harkness, looking as dashing as ever, holding a truly big gun.

"Jack!" she exclaimed in utter disbelief.

"Anyone else needs shooting?" he asked of the entire street, keeping the massive gun raised. He seemed to have materialised out of thin air. He must have teleported. Rose couldn't believe it. She wanted to run over and hug and kiss him a hundred times over. But her eyes irrevocably drew towards the Doctor. He stood staring at her as though she was the most beautiful, amazing thing he'd ever seen. She smiled and ran towards him.

She heard the second Dalek before she saw it. Who knew how many were hiding in the shadows. She slowed and turned just as that one dreaded word rang through the night. How many beings throughout history had suffered death with that as the last thing they'd ever heard?

Exterminate...

The Doctor saw Rose's eyes widen in shock as it hit her. Someone was screaming, the painful sound ringing in his ears. It took him a moment to realise it was him that was screaming. He watched as she fell to the ground, his entire world falling with her. He ran towards her, his blood pumping madly in his veins, rushing in his ears. Suddenly he seemed to run into a brick wall.

"Doctor!" someone growled in his ear but he could not understand the word nor what it had to do with him. He struggled against the arms holding him, desperately reaching for her. She was lying on the ground. Still, so frightfully still. It was his worst nightmare realised.

He managed to free himself from whoever was stopping him. But without the support he fell to his knees. He crawled towards her, reaching out his hand for hers were it lay lifeless and pale on the worn pavement. But he never made it. Someone grabbed him and yanked him back. He struggled. He had to get to her. It was all that mattered. It was all he could think about. Someone was screaming in his ear but he couldn't understand a single word. Rose, he mouthed silently. It appeared to be the only word that still made sense to him. The most important, the most beautiful word ever spoken.

There had been no roses on Gallifrey. But they'd had a yellow flower that much resembled it. If one were attempting to translate the Gallifreyan word for it, it would be something like, kissed by the light of burning suns. After he'd met her he had absentmindedly drawn the circular shape for it for months before he'd realised what he was doing and what it meant. Then he'd tried not to. Tried not to fall any harder. But it had been useless. She had been so alive and radiant, he hadn't been able to see anything else. As he stared at her too pale face were she lay, the words of whoever was screaming at him finally penetrated his mind.

"She's gone, Doctor! She's gone!"

She's gone.

She's gone.

The Doctor was yanked to his feet. He thought he could hear more Daleks. A lot more. Whoever was trying to get him away was grunting with the effort, firing off blast after blast each hitting a Dalek. An exterminator-beam whisked past them so close he could feel the heat of it.

"STOP!" someone screamed. He thought it might be a woman. The sound seemed far away, beyond his ability to properly perceive it. "Davros wants him alive!" the woman ordered. Annabelle Conn.

The Doctor's head jerked up and he saw her through the red haze clouding his vision. Fury like nothing he'd ever known blazed inside his chest. Annabelle bent down next to Rose.

Rose.

Rose dead.

Annabelle put two fingers to her throat obviously checking for a pulse and the Doctor almost broke the arm holding him back in mindless rage. Annabelle straightened with a satisfied grin on her face. Satisfied because she had murdered what he loved.

The Doctor wanted to destroy her. Destroy her completely until there was nothing left. Not even ashes.

"Time to go," Annabelle Conn said into the small comm device in her hand. No, the Doctor thought. You're not leaving until I'm done with you. He struggled against the arms restraining him. But whoever it was he was strong. The Doctor couldn't understand why he was being held back. His cause was just. Annabelle Conn deserved whatever he did to her. A sudden light flared up around Annabelle Conn and Rose's dead body. The light winked out as quickly as it had appeared, taking Rose and Annabelle with it.

The Doctor tore himself free, not caring if he broke bones. He fell to his knees, not even feeling as he hit the pavement. A scream was ripped from his throat. It was a terribly broken, inhuman cry. His hands clenched into fist at his sides and he raised his head and howled at the skies to bring her back to him.

A part of the Doctor actually thought that his word alone was enough to get her back. But no answer came from the night. His hearts were beating like drums inside his chest, beating out a call for revenge. His blood surged through his body, giving strength to parts of himself he didn't even know he had. He took a breath and felt as though the world around him breathed with him. The Doctor was so focused on the rage inside him that he didn't even notice as all the lights in the street flickered on and swiftly began glowing with an unnatural intensity. He clenched his fists so tightly his nails were digging into his skin. He knew he was drawing blood but he didn't feel it. All he felt was fury and rage. Suddenly the lights overhead burst.

One by one they exploded. Sparks fell down all around them, like rain caught on fire. The Doctor could feel the fear of the Daleks, feel them retreating. Just try to run, he thought. There is no place in this universe safe for you now.

Jack stared at the Time Lord brought to his knees, his fists clenched at his sides, burning fury and pain in every line of his face, the dark street momentarily awash with raining sparks of light and Jack felt fear running up his spine. He had seen the Doctor angry, even furious but he'd never seen him vengeful.

The street plummeted into sudden darkness. Jack could hear the Doctor's laboured breathing and it was like the very city around them breathed with him. The Daleks were drawing back, running. One by one the blue lights disappeared back into the shadows. Jack almost shared their instinct to run. Or at least get out of the way. The night became silent, as though movement and noise had been drawn out of it.

"Doctor?" Jack asked carefully. He received no reply. Slowly his eyes began to adjust to the darkness and he could hint the shape of the Doctor in front of him. He was still on his knees, his shoulders moving up and down with his laboured breathing."Doctor?" Jack asked again. He took a cautious step forwards, reaching out his hand to clasp the Doctor's shoulder. The Doctor didn't so much as twitch at the contact. Jack couldn't see his face in the darkness. "Doctor, we should go," he suggested. Nothing. Jack hesitated a moment before he reached down and hauled the Doctor to his feet. He went, but his body was limp as though he'd suddenly lost the power to stand on his own.

What the hell had just happened? Jack looped the Doctor's arm across his shoulders and pulled him with him. If the Doctor was here the TARDIS couldn't be far away.

They made their way through the dark London streets, Jack searching for the TARDIS and getting no help from the Doctor.

"Jack!" someone called from behind him. He turned around and found Martha running towards him. Her face blanched as she saw what he was carrying.

"Is he...?" she trailed off as she reached them. Jack shook his head.

"I don't know." Martha put her hands to the Doctor's face, tilting it up so she could see him. "We're trying to find the TARDIS," Jack said, looking around.

"Oh, it's back there," Martha said. She reluctantly let go of the Doctor, realising there was little she could do out there. "Sarah Jane and Donna Noble are already there."

They hurried through the night. Martha didn't ask where Rose was and Jack didn't tell her. He didn't think he could even manage to get the words out if he tried. They turned a corner and the welcomed sight of the TARDIS met them. Immediately Jack got the feeling that something was wrong. The windows of the blue box was dark. Most of the time you could hint a warm yellow light behind them but there was no light now. Donna and Sarah Jane stood leaning against a blue car. They straightened as they saw them. Worry flickered by behind their eyes when they saw the Doctor being dragged along by Jack.

"He's alive," Martha hastened to assure the two women. Both of them gave an obvious sigh of relief.

"Can you see if you can find the TARDIS key in one of his pockets?" Jack asked Martha.

"Sure," she answered and began searching. She swiftly came up with the key in question. She used it to unlock the TARDIS door, stepping inside first. Jack followed her while Donna stopped, her head flipping from side to side, looking around.

"Where is Rose?" she asked. Jack froze for one heartbeat before he continued inside without answering.

As Jack stepped inside the TARDIS he could see he'd been right before. There was something wrong. The room used to be awash with light but it was dark now. Dark and gloomy. It looked... sad.

"What's wrong with her?" Sarah Jane asked as she came inside after Jack and Donna, looking around the room. Jack put the Doctor down on the floor, leaning his back against the console. Martha was immediately there checking him.

"I don't know," Jack said.

"Doctor, can you hear me?" Martha asked him, her voice very clear and professional. But there was no response from the Doctor. "What happened?" Martha asked Jack, checking the Doctor's heartbeats and regularity of breathing. Jack had no idea how to reply. How could he possibly tell them? How could he say the words? How could he even begin to explain?

"Where is Rose?" Donna asked again. Jack squeezed his eyes shut. God, this hurt, he thought. He'd lost people before. Horrible, devastating losses and he never got used to it. Ever. When he opened his eyes Donna was standing right in front of him and all eyes in the room except the Doctor's were on him. "Where is Rose?" Donna repeated.

"She..." Jack began but couldn't find it within himself to finish. "She..." he tried again. "She's gone."

"Gone?" Sarah Jane asked. "What do you mean, gone?"

"Dalek," Jack managed to get out. "The Daleks... They shot her."

"What!?" Donna exclaimed.

"It happened so quickly," Jack tried to explain. Donna turned her eyes to the Doctor.

"Oh, my god," she breathed, not only sadness in her voice but fear. She left Jack and went over to the Doctor were he sat staring at nothing. She sat down in front of him next to Martha. "Doctor..." she said softly and clasped his hand. There was no reaction.

"I can't see anything physically wrong with him," Martha said with worry. Donna squeezed the Doctor's hand.

"Doctor..." she tried again. "Please."

"He's been like that since..." Jack trailed off, thinking of the streetlights exploding in sparks around them, the Doctor crying out as though his very soul had been ripped from his body.

"It's Rose," Donna explained. "This is bad."

"You wanna elobrate on that?" Jack asked. Donna's eyes traced the Doctor's immobile face. It was like he wasn't even there.

"He did something to Rose," Donna said.

"Did something?" Sarah Jane asked. "Did what?" Donna shook her head.

"I only got bits and pieces. I was not with them for very long." She looked up at the others. "Rose was dying and he saved her life. But it...had consequences, or something."

"What kind of consequences?" Martha asked.

"I don't know really," Donna said. "But I think it linked them. I think they could feel what the other was feeling."

"That's insane," Martha said, rising to her feet and shaking her head.

"Maybe not..." Jack told them. "When Rose...When she... Something happened. He..." He trailed off, finding it impossible to explain what had happened. It hadn't just been the physical manifestation of it. It had been something else. Something in the air. He had almost been able to taste it on his tongue. "It was...cosmic," he finished.

Everyone glanced over at the Doctor.

"If you are right," Sarah Jane was saying. "Then what happens when that link gets severed?"

"This, I guess," Donna said sadly.

"You're all mad!" Martha told them. "He's just upset. He just needs to snap out of it." She bent down in front of the Doctor, raised her hand and slapped him. Right across the cheek. "Doctor!" But he didn't even move, didn't flinch, nothing. Martha raised her hand again but Jack caught it, stopping her.

"I think that's enough," he told her. Martha pulled free of Jack and stumbled back.

"But we need him!" she told them in frustration. "People are dying and we need him!"

They all knew she was right. They didn't have the time or the luxury to mourn. But whatever was happening with the Doctor it wasn't simply mourning. It went far beyond that.


	19. Chapter 19 - Mea Maxima Culpa

Chapter 19 - Mea Maxima Culpa

A sudden banging brought everyone out of their momentary stupor.

"Hey! Anyone in there?!" they could vaguely hear from outside. Jack strode past them and flung opened the door.

"How on earth did you get here?" Jack asked. Mickey pushed his way past him, into the TARDIS. He held up a round, palm-sized device.

"Dimensional jump," he said. "Now where is Rose? Her mother is going mad." Everyone became perfectly still and no one had the heart to meet his eye. "What?" he asked, looking around at them. His gaze fell on the Doctor where he sat. still and empty as a stone statue. "What's wrong with 'im?" There was hint of fear in Mickey's voice.

"Mickey..." Jack began, struggling to form the words. Mickey turned to him and at the look on Jack's face he began shaking his head frantically.

"No," he said, in desperate denial. "No."

"She's gone," Jack said. Mickey continued shaking his head, refusing to acknowledge the Captain's words. Jack nodded. "I'm sorry, Mickey."

Mickey twirled around. Denial turned swiftly to anger that turned into rage. She couldn't be gone. Not her. Not Rose. Mickey's eyes found the Doctor. Anger surged up inside him. He reached down and grabbed the labels on the Doctor's suit. Mickey shook him violently.

"You were supposed to keep her safe!" Mickey screamed at him. "You bastard! You promised!" Jack grabbed Mickey, trying to tear him away. But Mickey had a death grip on the Doctor. "You promised Jackie! You promised all of us!" Jack's muscles strained as he tried to break Mickey away. "She loved you! She loved you and you killed her!"

"That's enough, Mickey," Jack growled. But Mickey wasn't hearing him.

"She trusted you!"

"Mickey, stop," Jack tried. If he didn't get Mickey away he was going to tear the Doctor to pieces. And the Doctor would probably let him. Because he was doing nothing to defend himself. Nothing. "A little help!" Jack barked out at the others. Donna and Martha both helped unbend Mickey's fingers from his iron grip. Jack pulled. Finally they managed the break him away.

Mickey pushed free of Jack.

"Get off me!" he screamed. Jack held up his hands in a show of surrender.

"Hey, I'm not the enemy here," Jack said.

"No," Mickey agreed and made another beeline for the Doctor. Jack lunged himself after Mickey and managed to grab him before he reached his target. Jack yanked him back.

"It was the Daleks," Jack growled at Mickey. "It wasn't the Doctor's fault." Mickey struggled to free himself.

"He promised," Mickey growled back.

"I know," Jack told him. "He tried. Trust me. He tried." Jack gave the kid a good shake. "Just look at him," he insisted.

Mickey's eyes flickered down to the Doctor were he was sitting. He was half leaning against the console, his clothes were a mess and his face was pale, his eyes hollow. If Mickey had not seen his chest moving with his breathing he would have said the man was dead. Because there was nothing in those dark brown eyes of his.

Slowly Mickey began to calm down, a bitter sense of triumph settling around his heart. Mickey realised, looking at the Doctor that nothing he could do to him would ever compare to what he was doing to himself. Mickey tore free of Jack.

"I'm fine," he assured. Mickey straightened his black leather jacket that had come askew in the struggle. "So why is he just sitting there then?" Mickey asked the others, all the while keeping his eyes on the Doctor.

"He's been that way since it happened," Sarah Jane offered, her voice soft and sad. "We don't know how to wake him out of it."

"Or if we even can," Donna said, remembering Rose and how similar she'd seemed when she'd sat on the floor in that broken room and thought she could never be with him. The only difference was that this seemed worse. A lot worse.

"Alright," Mickey said, drawing in a hasty breath through his nose. "I'll get him going." He made a move towards the Doctor and Jack immediately moved to intercept him. Mickey shook him off. "I'm fine." he said. "Don't worry." Reluctantly Jack let him pass. Mickey hunkered down in front of the Doctor. He paused for a moment, taking in the empty face before him. Mickey had been jealous of the Doctor ever since Rose had left with him. Because how could he ever compete with a man who could take her to see her father? Who could show her every star in the universe and name them all? How could anyone compete with that?

"You loved her right?" Mickey asked, not expecting an answer. "I mean, she definitely loved you. Left me for you after all. So you're what now? Nine-hundred years old? Nineteen, that's how old she was when you took her away. Nineteen. Showed her the stars, new worlds. And you made her fall in love with you. Made her leave everything she'd known behind to be with you. Do you know, I begged her not to go when she got sick. I said she should be with her family at the end and do you know what she said to me?" Mickey stared hard into the Doctor's empty eyes. "She said, she had to make sure you were alright. She was dying and she had to make sure that you were not alone."

Mickey laughed without humour. "I told her she was being an idiot. But she didn't listen did she? And now she's dead. Your Rose is dead, Doctor. How does that feel? You feel anything?" Mickey searched the Doctor's eyes, looking for any sign that there was anything alive left in there. "Yeah, guess you don't. Didn't mean anything to you did it? Nine-hundred years. She was just the latest in a long line, right? Easily replaceable. You even have quite the fine selection right here," Mickey said, indicating the people around him. "I bet there all in love with you one way or another. All willing to risk their lives for you. What's one loss when you can replace it with four new ones?" Mickey turned back to the Doctor, ignoring the tears streaming down Sarah Jane's face or the furious look in captain Jack's eyes. Nor did he acknowledge the anger in Donna's or the hurt in Martha's. Yet no one tried to stop him. Mickey leaned down close to the Doctor. "Admit it," he hissed at him. "Rose Tyler meant nothing to you."

Mickey drew away. The lights in the TARDIS flickered and a sudden vice-like grip around his arm stopped him. Mickey turned back. His eyes met burning ones, alive with fire, dark and hot.

"Don't," the Doctor growled at him, his tone of voice lethal in its intensity. "Ever. Say. That. To. Me. Again."

The Doctor let go of Mickey, practically pushing him away. Mickey stumbled back, clutching his arm. The Doctor took a deep breath and rose to his feet smoothly. He walked around the console, everyone scurrying out of his way.

"Doctor?" Donna asked carefully. The Doctor pulled the screen over and began turning the dials. He didn't answer. Donna walked over to him. "Doctor..." she tried again.

"You have a choice to make," he told them, his voice cool and calm. Scary calm. The kind of calm in the eye of a storm. "Either you come with me or I believe you know where the door is."

"Doctor..." Donna said softly, putting her hand over his. He moved so quickly she barely had time to grasp it before he'd grabbed her wrist. Donna gasped.

"Don't touch me," he hissed. He released her. Donna backed away, staring at him. She remembered the Racnoss. Remembered how he'd stood there while they all burned. How he hadn't known when to stop. But he was far beyond that now. There wasn't a hint of mercy in his eyes as he stared her down. Not even an understanding that he might have hurt her.

He turned back to the screen. "You have ten seconds," he told them.

"Doctor, maybe we should...-" Jack began but the Doctor immediately cut him off.

"I'll make it easy for you Jack," he hissed. "Either you're an aid or a hinderance." He looked over at Jack, his eyes hard. "And trust me, you don't want to be a hinderance."

Jack stared at the Doctor, fighting the sudden instinct to turn and run.

"Five seconds," the Doctor marked.

"I'm with you," Martha said. The Doctor didn't even acknowledge her.

"Me to," Sarah Jane announced, though she lacked the conviction in her voice that Martha'd had.

"What do you say, Jack?" the Doctor asked. Jack gave a nod, a touch of sadness in that one simple gesture. He knew what it meant. What they were condoning. Genocide. That was what was on his mind. The Doctor was going to try and blow every single Dalek out of the sky because they'd been foolish enough to hurt him more than he could take. And now he was going to make sure they all paid for it.

The Doctor glanced back at Donna.

"If you want to get off, now is the time," he told her.

"Tell me what you are going to do," Donna said.

"They took her from me," he said simply. "I'm going to destroy every last one of them."

"Murder? Is that what your saying?"

"This is not a debate," the Doctor hissed. Donna fell silent. He glanced back at her. She wasn't moving. "Staying then," he concluded. He turned a lever and the TARDIS roared to life. The lights flickered on around them, the whole room coming alive with purpose.

"Not gonna ask if I want to come then?" Mickey asked.

"Do I need to?" the Doctor asked back.

"No."

They took off, soaring up into the night sky. Up into space, towards the Dalek ship at the centre. That's were Davros would be. And Davros was going to burn for this.

In the midst of terror and rage and pain, when Annabelle Conn had taken Rose's body away with her, the Doctor thought for a moment that he'd still felt her. Felt her across the bond. Since then he'd tried desperately to feel her again. But there'd been nothing. Just an emptiness that burned through his soul. There were long forgotten stories about this. About what happened when the bond was severed but he hadn't known what to expect. Now all he wanted was an outlet for the fire in his chest, the rage humming through his blood, demanding retribution.

"Won't we get shot, flying in like this?" Sarah Jane asked carefully.

"Good point," the Doctor said, flipping a switch. The TARDIS dematerialised in midair and materialised in the underbelly of the Dalek Crucible. The wooshing sound slowly quieted down, letting them all know they had landed.

"Is there a plan to this?" Jack asked. "Or are we simply going in, guns blazing?"

"I don't like guns," the Doctor said, changing a few settings on the TARDIS. "But every man to his own."

He finished whatever he was doing and walked past them, heading for the doors. He stopped before them.

"You're all getting a job to do," he said without turning around. "Should you fail it I will not come for you. I can't. This is the point of no return. Is that clear?" No one said anything, silently concurring. No matter what, they had to stop the Daleks. They were killing people. They had brought all these planets together for a reason and there was no chance that it was a good one. "Donna, Sarah Jane you get the people trapped on lever thirty-four. The TARDIS registered forty human life-forms. Get them out. Martha, Mickey, there is a system wired to channel a massive amount of power. Disrupt it. Whatever you have to do. Jack, you saw the woman, Annabelle Conn. Find her. I'm going after Davros."

The Doctor opened the doors and stepped outside. Jack turned back to the rest of them.

"The TARDIS is still safe. You can still stay behind," he told them. Sarah Jane shook her head sadly.

"We're not leaving him alone," she said. "How can we?" They all nodded in concurrence. Their minds were made up. They were with the Doctor until the end.

Everyone followed Jack outside.

"Well, good luck," Mickey said.

"Yeah, we'll need it," Donna muttered as she looked around. The walls were rust-coloured, the floors metal. It was a gloomy, foreboding place. It reminded them of the Daleks. It was clearly all their design. Everyone gave each other a look. It didn't say, see you soon or even good luck. It said good bye.

The Doctor strode away from them, having every faith that they would complete the tasks he set before them. Had his mind not been consumed with darkness and vengeance he would have been grateful they were so ready to follow him. Grateful for their courage and unflinching loyalty. But there was no room for something as simple and beautiful as gratitude. There was only pain and rage. And he was grateful for it. Because it was the only thing that was keeping him on his feet. If he let himself for even one second contemplate the fact the he'd lost Rose, that she was gone, ripped from him, it would send him to his knees and he would not be getting up again.

The unmistakable sound of approaching Daleks reached his ears. He looked around quickly. He spotted a nock in the wall. He threw himself in just as two Daleks came around the corner. He pressed himself against the wall, watching as they passed him. He had to fight the urge to tear them to pieces with his bare hands. Dalekanium, he had to remind himself. The outer-shell is made of Dalekanium. Nearly indestructible.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't open them until he was sure they'd passed. The Doctor looked around, making sure the hallways were clear. He stepped out of his hiding place and calmly continued the way he'd been headed.

The Doctor had infiltrated enough Dalek ships to understand their construction. He knew where he was most likely to find Davros. It was like he was back in the war. He had been a different man then. A man forged in fire and battle. He'd been better since then. Better because of her. But she was gone now. All that was left was an emptiness in the back of his mind. Where she'd used to be. Where he could feel her. It was hollow now, hollow and dark.

Only a few more times did he have to hide from Daleks. He was being cleared a path. Davros was expecting him. As he crept down the hallways he began to hear voices. He carefully made his way closer but stopped dead as he recognised them.

"You were right," Annabelle Conn was saying. "It crippled him." The sound of that woman's voice caused the Doctor's hands to clasp into fists. He heard the unmistakable laugh of Davros, a depraved mechanical cackle.

"I wish I could have been there," Davros said with glee.

"I need to run a few test before...-"

"Yes, yes run all the tests you want," Davros waved her away.

"I still wonder if killing her right in front of him was the right thing to do," Annabelle remarked. "You didn't see him."

"I need him broken," Davros explained. "Only then can his complete destruction be assured."

It was Davros, all Davros. Killing Rose had been part of some bigger plan to destroy him. Mickey had been right. She was dead because of him. It was his fault. The Doctor, felt rage pulsing through his veins. His fault. It was all his fault.

The Doctor walked out from his hiding place. He saw Davros and felt hate surge up inside him. He looked much as the last time the Doctor had seen him. Still stuck in his chariot that looked exactly as the base of a Dalek. The Doctor knew it did not only enable him to move around since he'd lost the use of his legs in some accident, it also helped keep him alive. Davros smiled as he saw the Doctor, the grin twisting his wrinkled, marred face.

"Doctor," he exclaimed in delight. Annabelle Conn twirled around. She didn't seem quite as happy to see him as Davros appeared to be. She took a couple of steps back. The Doctor fixed his burning eyes on Davros. He held out his arms.

"You wanted me, and here I am," the Doctor said, a dare in his tone.

"Yes, you are," Davros said, his dark, mechanical voice making the Doctor's skin crawl.

"Maybe I should go..." Annabelle suggested, taking another couple of steps back.

"No, stay," the Doctor told her, a horrible smile twisting his face. "Don't you want to see what happens when you break a Time Lord? Don't you want to know what you helped bring forth by murdering the girl I loved?"

Annabelle took another couple of steps back. She didn't like to admit when she was afraid but the look in the Doctor's eyes was enough to send crippling fear through her body. She believed in what Davros was doing. It was so grand. So absolute. He was a genius. A revolutionary. But his obsession with the Doctor was the one thing she didn't understand. She knew Davros was sure about the outcome but looking at the Doctor she couldn't help but feel as though it wasn't worth it. Facing the fury of a Time Lord was enough to cause every instinct in her body to scream at her to run.

"I need to..." she began.

"Yes, yes," Davros interrupted her. "Go. Finish your work."

Annabelle turned around and hurried out of the room. She made her way through the halls of the Dalek Crucible. The big flagship. Few Daleks patrolled the hallways. They were arrogant in their belief in their own superiority. Annabelle turned down another hallway, the rust coloured walls and dull metal floor not quite to her liking. She would have preferred it cleaner. More efficient. There was a reason the labs at Torchwood had all been white and it wasn't just aesthetics.

Annabelle made her way down another corridor. The further away from the Doctor she got the better she felt. She soon regained mastery of her fear. It had been foolish to let him scare her like that. He was one man surrounded by millions of Daleks. No matter how furious he was, the Doctor was a dead man. She turned a corner and walked up to two Daleks standing by a door.

"Open it," she ordered them, her voice steady and controlled. The Daleks glanced at each other before they did as she said. They always delayed just a little whenever she ordered something. It was easy to see them as mindless robots. But they weren't. Every single on of them was an highly intelligent being, driven by one simple dogma. Everything that was not Dalek should be eradicated. She knew they didn't like following the orders of a human but Davros nearly godly status among them was enough to get them to do so, albeit reluctantly.

One of the Daleks used its manipulator arm with its plunger like shape at the end to operate the control pad for the door. The door slid opened with a swishing sound and Annabelle stepped inside. The door closed behind her. She walked over to a desk, set up for her use. She pressed a couple of buttons on the keyboard for the computer. Three separate screens flickered on in front of her. She pressed another combination of buttons and a room adjacent to the one she was in, separated by glass, lit up with light. She walked over to the glass, her heels striking against the rough metal floor. She stopped, clasping her hands behind her back, staring into the empty room. Empty but for one thing. A body was lying on the floor. Her blonde hair spread out around her like a half- moon. All along the walls, the ceiling and the floor was a web of blue light. A containment field. Designed especially to keep her locked away from the rest of the world. Locked away from him.

Annabelle remembered the desperate pain on the Doctor's face as the Dalek had shot her. Davros had said that the key to breaking the Time Lord was this girl. Annabelle had never questioned or doubted it. She'd seen them together at Torchwood.

But somehow that look on the Doctor's face had still chocked her. That raw and naked sorrow. The kind you didn't bear but the kind that broke you. And after she'd seen him now she knew Davros had been right. It was a broken man that had walked into that room, fuelled only my rage and pain. And that was a dangerous man. A man like that had nothing left to loose.

Annabelle pressed a finger to the glass and it lit up with information about the body inside the room. She pressed a lit round shape marked, speaker.

"Agent Tyler," she said, hearing her own voice echo into the room. There was no movement from inside the room. "Rose Tyler, time to wake up."


	20. Chapter 20 - Right hand of the Devil

Chapter 20 - The right hand of the devil

Rose gradually got pulled back to consciousness. Blimey, everything hurt. She felt like she'd been run over by a train. She took a deep breath, finding she had to struggle to get air down her lungs. There was that strange pressure over her chest. And she felt as though something was missing. Some essential part.

Rose opened her eyes, trying to shake the feeling. She looked around at the empty room with its dull brown walls and metal floor.

"Over here Agent Tyler." There was no way Rose wouldn't recognise that voice by now. The sound of it was like chalk against a blackboard.

"Annabelle Conn," Rose said as she pushed herself up. Her head spun, making her clasp it in a hopeless attempt to stop the spinning. "Didn't you kill me?" she asked.

"One of the Daleks shot you, yes," Annabelle concurred. "But their weapons can do more than kill. All it did was knock you out. And before you ask, your Doctor is alive and yes, he thinks you're dead."

"You let him think you killed me?" Rose asked, struggling to sit up.

"You should have seen him," Annabelle Conn said. "Screaming your name and looking as though he was going to tear down the entire sky." Rose looked over at Annabelle.

She was still in her white pencil skirt and white silk blouse. The collar of the blouse was high, touching the ends of her black hair. She stood out in the Dalek surroundings like a snowflake in autumn.

"He scared the hell out of you didn't he?" Rose said, as she looked at Annabelle. Annabelle's eyes sharpened on Rose.

"I suppose he did," she allowed. "At least he gave me second thoughts about this whole plan of Davros's."

"What is the plan anyway?" Rose asked.

"Oh, the end game is far bigger than your Doctor but Davros is rather obsessed with the idea of destroying him. Not just killing him, mind, but destroying him utterly."

"Then why am I still alive?"

"All in due time, Agent Tyler."

Rose struggled up into a sitting position. "Where are we?" she asked, looking around the room.

"They call it the Crucible," Annabelle explained and began walking along the glass that served as an entire wall. "It is the Dalek flagship. It is were everything will come together."

"Everything?"

"Years of manipulating and planning. It wasn't just my life we were trying to save, in fact we were after something far more important."

"Like what?"

"You." Annabelle stopped and smiled at Rose from the other side of the glass.

"Me? Why me?"

"A secret branch of Torchwood have been trying to find you for years Rose Tyler, or rather create you."

"Is that why you experimented on all those creatures?" Rose asked, feeling sick to her stomach as she remembered the cruelty she had witnessed in the dark, hidden parts of Torchwood. Annabelle nodded.

"For years we tried and failed. But Davros has... What shall we say? Devine assistance. It pointed us in the right direction." Annabelle retraced her footsteps, her hands clasped behind her back. "We needed time- vortex energy," she explained. "But the energy of the time -vortex is vile stuff. You can't control it. The only beings in history who were ever close were...?" she trailed off, raising her eyebrows at Rose, inviting her to finish the sentence.

"Time Lords," Rose finished for her.

"Precisely. But they were all dead. All except one. The last of his kind. And conveniently enough there was a prophecy of this very Time Lord. A prophecy that said he would destroy the world to save the one he loved." Annabelle smiled at Rose. "See where this is going?" she asked. "How this is all coming together."

"What made you think it was me?" Rose asked.

"Two words," Annabelle said. She stopped and looked intently at Rose. "Bad Wolf." Rose drew back in surprise. "The Bad wolf legend is as entwined with the last Time Lord as the Daleks are."

Annabelle continued her slow walk back and forth along the glass. "Of course you two were separated. But that proved not to be a problem as Davros plan was causing the walls between universes to break down." Annabelle stopped again. "Can't you see how beautifully it is all woven together?" Rose said nothing as she glared at Annabelle Conn. She did indeed begin to see how it all fit together. It made her feel more like a pawn than ever. "Davros was so sure you were the one that he nearly had me blowing up all of London."

"You, you did it on purpose? The explosion that nearly killed me?"

"Of course. As I understand it you needed to be dying for the Doctor to do what he did?"

Rose thought of the vague memories she had from the dream she'd shared with the Doctor of that space between time. How she'd burned, enough power surging through her human body to destroy worlds. Annabelle was right. He would never have risked it if it wasn't the very last option.

"I still was doubtful you were really what we needed," Annabelle was saying. "It wasn't until I watched the footage of you murdering my dear sister that I really knew. You even confirmed it. Naming yourself the Bad Wolf. Davros had been right all along. We had struggled for years to create the kind of power we needed and now Davros had gotten the last of the Time Lords to do it for us."

Rose clasped her head. This was all giving her a headache. It seemed everything from the very moment she'd met the Doctor had all somehow been planned.

"Why are you even telling me this?" Rose wondered.

"Because I want you to understand," Annabelle explained. "I want you to see the inevitability of what is to come and I want you to know that there is nothing you can do to stop it. Whatever you choose you will always end up back here. If I was being dramatic I would say it is your destiny. Yours and the Doctor's."

"Destiny is rubbish," Rose growled. "There is no such thing." But even she could hear the doubt in her voice. If there was no such thing as fate or destiny than how could everything seem to have fallen so perfectly and horribly together?

First she and the Doctor would have to have even met. Then Bad wolf. They had to get separated. She had to be dying. The oracles, their choices, Torchwood, the Conn sisters, Davros. Lot's and lot's of little choices bringing them here.

"How far back?" Rose asked, feeling utterly exhausted and powerless.

"What do you mean?"

"How far back were you and Davros manipulating events?" Rose ground out between her teeth.

"You'll have to ask, Davros," Annabelle replied. "Not even I understand the whole scope of this. I sabotaged the machine, counting on the fact that the brave Rose Tyler wouldn't hesitate to go in and fix it even if it killed her. You met me on Poosh, I needed the pure version of the crystal that their towers are made of."

"Why?" Rose asked.

"See the blue light along the walls?" Rose looked around. "It's a containment field especially for you. The one thing you can't destroy. The one thing that could completely isolate you from the rest of the world. It's powered in part by that crystal."

A containment field. Locking her away. There was a part in Rose's mind, where the bond was. Where, if she let herself, she could always feel the Doctor. Like he was a part of her. She realised that was the space that was empty. That's why she felt as though something was missing. The realisation made the pressure over her chest turn instantly painful. She struggled for a moment, the power surging up inside her, in tuned with her fear. She clasped her hands into fists and forced herself to keep control. He was alive. He was fine. Annabelle had said so. There was no reason for her to lie. He was fine.

"Anything else?" Rose ground out, trying do distract herself.

"Oh, I did borrow a cruiser from Poosh that made the Shadow Proclamation think I wasn't a threat," Annabelle said, rather proudly. "Made it easy to blow the place up."

"That was you?" Rose asked in disbelief, managing a few calming breaths.

"Of course," Annabelle replied simply. "We couldn't let them lock you up there. We needed you here."

"This is crazy," Rose muttered.

"Insanity and genius often walk hand in hand," Annabelle pointed out. "As love and hate which I guess you know all about." She smiled knowingly at Rose giving Rose the sudden urge to punch her face in.

"You know nothing about it," Rose hissed.

"I know enough to know he'll do it," she said. "He will let the world burn if it means saving you."

"Your sister tortured me for hours," Rose said. "And she had no qualms about it. A part of her even enjoyed it, I think. And yet she was more human than you!" Rose spat.

"I beg your pardon?" Annabelle asked, sounding truly affronted.

"She loved you, Annabelle. Your sister loved you. Everything she did she did to save you. Why do you do the things you do, Annabelle?" Rose asked. "You didn't care about your sister beyond her ability to keep you alive. So its not revenge. Why do you care that I and the Doctor suffer?"

"I don't," Annabelle immediately replied. "I believe in what Davros is doing. The progress we can achieve... -"

"What progress?" Rose interrupted.

"Just imagine it, Agent Tyler. Unlimited energy, the scientific advances, the technological breakthroughs. Davros is a genius. We can accomplish so much. What he's built will pave way for a new era. "

"Do you even hear yourself?" Rose asked. "They're Daleks! They don't care about advances!"

"But Davros does."

Annabelle smiled. Rose knew there was no point in arguing with her. Annabelle Conn believed this cause to the very core. Nothing Rose could say would change her mind.

"I still don't understand what I have to do with any of it," Rose said.

"You are the key," Annabelle explained. "You are bursting with what is essentially untempered vortex energy."

Annabelle hit the glass with tips of her fingers and new calculations appeared before her. The readings were off the chart. Not even Dalek technology could properly read the level of power surging through Rose's blood. She imagined there was only one civilisation that could properly interpret the data and it was long since gone.

"You should be dead," Annabelle said in wonder. "I don't understand how you're not dead." She punched in a number of commands.

Rose started as wires came out of the floor with grapple-hooks attached to the ends. They moved like snakes. Rose tried desperately to scurry away from them but they immediately lashed out and clasped Rose's wrists. The hard metal tightened mercilessly until she screamed out. She tried to tear herself free. But it was like having your hands screwed into a vice.

"Stay still and it wont hurt so much," Annabelle suggested. Rose glared at her. Suddenly Rose felt an agonising pain at the base of her skull. She screamed as she felt something drilling its way into her head. "I really do suggest you stay still," Annabelle repeated. "One wrong move and I could paralyse you."

Rose froze in shock.

"Interesting," Annabelle mumbled as she stared at the information pouring in, in front of her. "Your cells seem to be bonding with it. But how..." She punched in a couple of new commands receiving a more detailed view of Rose's DNA. "Impossible," she breathed.

"What...what is impossible?" Rose managed to get out, pain and fear crippling her but curiosity winning. She suspected that she wanted to understand what had happened to her as much as Annabelle Conn.

"Your DNA..." Annabelle began. "...its not human. Not completely." Rose growled with both frustration and pain. She already knew that. Her cells had been either dead or dying. They'd had to be replaced with something. "Your DNA have bonded perfectly with the foreign elements," Annabelle was saying. "How is that possible? How did he do this?"

"It..." Rose began, struggling to talk. "It's a Time Lord thing," she said.

"Time...?" Annabelle fell silent as she stared at her readings. "I thought he... I thought it was chemistry," she breathed. "Or I thought he'd used a machine or gene-manipulation to alter your cellular structure. But this... this is..."

"This is what?" Rose ground out. Her head felt as though it was about to explode.

"Biology," Annabelle said in awe. "And not the kind you create in a lab. This goes beyond comprehension."

"Speak english!" Rose growled. Annabelle tore her gaze away from the numbers on the glass and looked at Rose.

"He gave you a piece of his soul," she said.

Rose blinked a couple of times as she stared at Annabelle. "I mean..." Annabelle began. "The data, the science of it is here as far as these computers can understand it. He didn't just link you together he bonded with you on a cellular level. There have long been theories about the soul, that the mechanics, what makes us unique, what survives our death, is locked within our DNA." Annabelle turned to look at Rose. Rose could see the awe in her face. The amazement, the wonder. "What I don't understand is how you can sustain it. The charge is incalculably higher than that of normal human cells. You are not compatible. It should have killed you. It should be killing you right now."

"Well, it didn't," Rose ground out. Annabelle took a step closer to the glass.

"How did he do it?" she asked with a sense of urgency. "It's some part of a Time Lord's physiology. How did he do it?" Rose gave Annabelle a crocked grin but said nothing. "That thing in your neck can just as well hurt you as extract information," Annabelle warned.

"So, do it then," Rose said. "Cus I"ll never tell you."

Annabelle growled with frustration and turned back to her numbers. She put in new calculations, forced the computer to extract more data form Rose.

"There is an answer here," she muttered.

Annabelle kept her eyes on the glass, trying to figure out how the Doctor had managed to bind himself so completely to Rose that it had imbued her with enough errant power to destroy galaxies. Slowly a picture began to form. If this was part of Time Lord physiology than this, whatever it was he'd done, had not gone as it should have. It was supposed to be done with another Time Lord. Not a human.

"You were together," she breathed, as she stared at the readings. "Weren't you?" Rose ground her teeth together, saying nothing. She was not about to discuss this with Annabelle Conn. "I mean, I would need to study a Time Lord to verify the mechanics of it. But that is how he did it isn't it?" Rose glared at Annabelle. Rose's hair was falling into her eyes and sweat was running down her face as she struggled to stay conscious.

"I told your sister he would never do it again," Rose said. "I wasn't lying." Annabelle stared at Rose, terrified comprehension filling her face. Then she shook her head, vigorously.

"No, we can still harvest the energy in you. I can still...-"

"And how are you going to sustain it?" Rose interrupted with a snarl. "You said it yourself. It should have killed me. So why do you think I'm still alive?" Rose glared at Annabelle, feeling a sadistic sense of pleasure at knowing her whole plan was coming down before her eyes.

The Doctor had thought that Rose had been able to hold it back because she alone was strong. The strongest person he'd ever known, he'd said. But the reason why all those worlds hadn't burned, why Rose hadn't turned to ashes it wasn't only because she was strong. It was because they were strong together.

The surprising sound of the door opening made Annabelle twirl around. A man with a huge gun stumbled in, in a cloud of dust and smoke.

"Wooho!" he called. "Death to the pepper-shakers!" Annabelle only froze for a moment before she threw herself towards her desk where she kept her gun. But the man immediately raised his rather impressive weapon. "Ah, ah, ah," he warned. Annabelle froze. "Annabelle Conn, I've been looking for you," the man said, smiling as blood dripped down his chin. Annabelle's gaze flickered down and she saw blood soaking his shirt. He was injured and mortally so. All she had to do was wait until he bleed out. Which would be rather soon, judging by the state of him. "Oh, are you looking at this?" the man asked, indicating his blood-soaked shirt. "This is nothing. Don't worry about it." His lips twisted in wry amusement. "Your Dalek boys are no match for the great Captain Jack Harkness!" he declared and laughed.

The laughter died as quickly as it had appeared, his eyes growing dark.

"You killed Rose Tyler," he said. Annabelle immediately took a step to the side, revealing the room behind the glass and the girl in it.

"She's not dead," Annabelle said. "Yet." Jack's gaze snapped from her to the girl beyond the glass-wall. Rose gave him a weak smile as their eyes met. She seemed to be strapped down with something attached to the base of her skull. She looked like she was in pain. Jack's eyes grew hard as he turned back to Annabelle Conn. Annabelle immediately held up her hand to the glass, a section of it alight with numbers and calculations. Her finger hovered inches away. "One move and I'll send an electric charge through the sensor attached to her head with enough power to blow up her heart," Annabelle warned. Jack stayed very, very still.

"I saw her get exterminated," Jack pointed out.

"You saw her get knocked out," Annabelle countered.

"I see," Jack announced, taking a couple of leisurely steps inside the room. "If you didn't kill her then I doubt you'd kill her now," he said.

"Actually I just found out she's of no use to me," Annabelle explained, her voice dripping with bitterness.

"Davros still...!" Rose called out before Annabelle pressed an area on the glass and killed the speaker.

"So, the big evil mastermind still needs her for something then," Jack concluded, moving casually around the desk.

"I'm warning you!" Annabelle tried, but it was clear Jack wasn't falling for it.

"Let's just save us all a bunch of trouble," Jack suggested. "Let her go." Annabelle shook her head. Jack raised his gun. "Let her go," he ordered.

He painted quite the picture, standing there half dead, battered and bleeding. But even though Annabelle knew he meant business. Knew that he could decide to shoot her any second and sure that this was not a man that missed. She was still not as scared as she had been when facing a completely unarmed but furious Time Lord. All this man could do was kill her but the look she'd seen in the Doctor's eyes had told her that he could do far more than that. Should he desire he'd learn her greatest wish and give it to her in such a way that she'd regret ever having wanted it all. Or show her, her greatest fears and make her live them.

"You're gonna have to shoot me," Annabelle hissed at Jack.

Jack shook his shoulders once. "Fine," he said and shot her.

The blast from the gun actually knocked Annabelle back. She took a stumbling step, feeling the heel of her shoe snap under her foot. She fell ungracefully to the floor. The impact sent a shockwave of pain through her. She absentmindedly knew that was good. Pain meant she wasn't dead. She watched as through a haze while Captain Jack Harkness rushed over to the glass. He began frantically scanning the information, His eyes running back and forth. Annabelle moaned in pain. She was no stranger to it. All the tests and operations she'd gone through, through the years. Getting shot was nothing.

Jack pressed a couple of areas on the glass and drew a gauge down to zero. He watched as Rose was released, the sensor-thing pulled out of her neck. She caught herself on all fours, breathing heavily. Jack pressed the symbol for the speaker.

"Rose?" he asked, a desperate disbelief in his voice.

"Feels good to hear your voice, captain," Rose breathed. A smile lit Jack's face. "Mind getting me out of here?" she asked.

"Yes, mam!" Jack announced, still smiling like an idiot.

Rose struggled to breathe, fought to keep her eyes opened. She felt drained, exhausted, hurt. But she had to get up. There was no time. She got to her feet by sheer force of will. She stumbled over to the glass-wall. She caught herself against it, using it to stay upright. She met Jack's eyes from the other side. She said nothing, only gave him a weak smile. He smiled back at her, his face alight with wonder and gratitude. He returned to trying to figure out how the get her out.

"You don't look so good," he remarked as he worked. Rose leaned her head against the glass.

"I think I may need a doctor," she said.

"Ha ha hilarious," Jack told her. He winked at her and she smiled. But he quickly grew more serious as he saw the rather pitiful state she was in. "Donna mentioned something about a link between you and the Doctor," he said. "That true?" Rose nodded yes.

"This blue light stuff, is some kind of containment field, she told me," Rose explained, indicating Annabelle on the floor. "Cut's me off from him. I think it might be making me ill. He said something about that. I don't know." Rose shook her head. "I just know I need him."

"He needs you too," Jack said, tearing his eyes away from the lit part of the glass. "He's mad, Rose," Jack said sadly. "Mad with grief. He'll destroy every last one of them." Rose's gaze fell to the floor.

"Just get me out of here, Jack," she said quietly.

The gun blast seemed to come out of nowhere. Suddenly Jack's eyes widened in surprise. Rose straightened and looked at him. He glanced down at his chest. Rose followed his gaze. There was a hole right through it. He looked back up at Rose in disbelief. No, Rose mouthed silently. He opened his mouth to say something but only blood poured over his lips. He coughed and blood burst from his lungs, hitting the glass right in front of Rose.

"No! Jack!" He crumbled before her. "Jack!" she screamed, following him down as he fell to the floor. "Jack!"

Rose looked up from his body on the floor to find Annabelle Conn standing behind him. Her gun in her hands. Rose pounded on the glass.

"You murderous piece of crap!" she screamed. "I'm gonna kill you! Do you hear me?!"

"That might be redundant," Annabelle pointed out, indicating herself. Her white outfit was ruined. Stained red with her blood. But Rose could tell that Jack had aimed for her shoulder. He had attempted to put her out of commission but not kill her. Because killing people was not what they did. They saved them. Annabelle stumbled and caught herself against her desk. "Well," she said. "No way out for you now," Annabelle told her. "See you on the other side, Agent Tyler." She gave Rose a smile before she fell.

Rose pounded in pain and desperation on the glass. But she could feel that it was not only the glass that was holding her back. That blue light was like an impenetrable barrier. She could feel it push against her, right beneath her skin.

"Let me out!" she screamed. "Let me out!" Rose felt her knees folding under her. She sank down to the floor. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stared at Jack's lifeless body. She could feel the energy surging inside her, itching to be set free. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold it back. Her head was pounding, images flashing by behind her eyes. No, she thought desperately. Nothing she saw made sense. Past, present and future all jumbled up, too much for her human mind to take.

She saw Daleks disintegrating into dust. She saw Jack getting shot again and again. Different weapons, different times. She saw the Doctor, standing and watching as Davros screamed in fire. Then instead she felt the Doctor's lips against her forehead and heard him whispering goodbye. She felt her own heart breaking as he turned away from her. Then she saw herself, standing in front of Davros, saying she would do it. Then light and fire and pain. Rose clutched her head desperately. Old moments, new ones and ones that would never be. And they all burned.

"Uh, I hate getting shot." Rose thought she heard Jack's voice through the pain pounding through her skull. But Jack was dead. "Hey Rose? You ok in there?"

Rose opened her eyes and there he was, sitting on the other side of the glass.

"You're alive," Rose breathed in disbelief, staring at her old friend. Not quite believing what she was seeing. "But you were dead."

"And you're kind of glowing," Jack pointed out, sounding a tad alarmed. Rose looked down at her hands. She was.

"It's ok." Rose struggled, forcing the energy back, pushing the images away by sheer force of will. But it was difficult. She needed the Doctor. The thought of him made her chest ache. "Doctor," Rose managed to get out.

"He went after Davros," Jack explained. Rose shook her head.

"No, he mustn't." she said with conviction. "Davros will... he'll... You have to get him off this ship, Jack."

Jack pulled himself back on his feet. "I'm just gonna get you out," he said. But Rose shook her head.

"Don't worry about me. Just get him out," she insisted. Jack looked down at Rose.

"I can't leave you here," he said.

"You have to."

"Fine, never mind me, he will never leave you here."

"Then don't tell him," Rose suggested. "Just get him off this ship." Jack shook his head.

"I can't do that," he said. "You didn't see him, Rose." Rose leaned her forehead against the glass.

"You have to get him out," she repeated.

"Why?" Jack asked. A tear fell down Rose's cheek.

"I don't want him to see," she said sadly. "I don't want him to see what I'll become."


	21. Chapter 21 - The destroyer of worlds

Chapter 21 - The Destroyer of Worlds

"You got here quicker than I'd imagined," Davros said with glee. "You must really have loved her. Thought your pompous race lost that ability long ago. "

"You're one to talk," the Doctor pointed out darkly. Davros smiled.

"We are perhaps more similar than you might think, Doctor."

"We are nothing alike," the Doctor hissed.

"No, you're right," Davros immediately agreed. "You destroyed your race and I raised mine from the ashes."

"I'll destroy you too," the Doctor promised.

"No longer in the business of saving people, Doctor?"

"You don't deserve to be saved."

They were on the bridge. Davros could control nearly everything from there. Which meant the Doctor could too. If he could get at the controls. A thousand different scenarios and a thousand different possibilities got examined and discarded inside his mind as his gaze travelled over the room. There were Daleks at the edges, all with their exterminator guns following every move the Doctor made.

"And who are you to decide that then, Doctor?" The Doctor glanced over at Davros. He had to fight the fire burning in his chest. The fire that called for immediate retribution. "God?" Davros mocked.

"Isn't that what you called yourself?" the Doctor asked back.

"I am the creator of all Daleks," Davros said and smiled. "What have you created?" There was a knowing sort of glint in Davros's eyes that the Doctor really didn't like. He knew something the Doctor didn't. Something that gave Davros a perverted sense of satisfaction.

"We could have ended it," the Doctor said. "The Time War. It could have ended with us. Why?"

"Why did I kill her?" Davros asked. "Wouldn't you rather know why, all of this?" Davros indicated the space around them. "Don't you want to know what I've built?"

"I don't care," the Doctor growled. "I want to know why she had to die!"

"Oh, he was right about you, Doctor," Davros laughed. The Doctor narrowed his eyes at Davros.

"What? Who was?"

A voice dripping with madness rose from the shadows.

"The Time Lord will come, he'll watch her die." The Doctor twirled around. "The Time War ends." There in a dark corner of the room was a Dalek. The top and middle parts of its armour looked like it had been ripped apart, revealing the true Dalek inside. It was difficult to think they'd once been humanoid. Now they were nothing but a disgusting mass of tentacles, the one eye in the middle of their squid-like body the only remnant of what they'd once been. The Doctor always felt a sense of revulsion at the sight of them, their forms so perverted and distorted, creations of a brilliant mind lost in insanity. "Soon. Soon the stars shall die."

"Dalek Caan," Davros declared with pride. Dalek Caan laughed, a mad, twisted sound.

"Had a feeling I might be seeing you again," the Doctor said darkly.

"Doctor," it laughed.

"Dalek Caan is the reason I'm alive," Davros said.

"I fleew into the Time War," Dalek Caan cackled. "I saw all of time and matter."

"He knows what is waiting for you, Doctor," Davros said.

"Pain," Dalek Caan laughed. "Pain for the last of the Time Lords, the destroyer of worlds." The Doctor turned back to Davros.

"Is that why you killed her!?" he screamed. "Because an insane Dalek told you!?"

"I would kill her, Doctor, to see you as you are. The man who murdered millions. The man behind your mask of mercy." The Doctor froze. He stared at Davros.

"What do you mean, would? You did, you did kill her. You shot her! Shot her dead right in front of me!" The Doctor's hands balled into fists.

"Did I?" Davros said with a twisted smile while Dalek Caan's manic laughter echoed in the background.

"I'm warning you, Davros," the Doctor hissed, his tone of voice deadly. "Don't play games with me. Not where she's concerned. You won't like it."

"The hour is at hand," Dalek Caan cackled. "The time is come."

Davros pressed a few buttons on the control-pad on his chariot and a holographic screen flickered to life above them. The picture flickered, went out and came back again.

"Annabelle?" Davros asked. "Is everything ready?" At first there was no reply. Then a voice, hard and angry but beyond beautiful echoed through the room.

"Annabelle Conn 's dead you piece of crap."

The picture flickered and a blond girl appeared on the screen. The Doctor stared as Rose Tyler rose like a phoenix from the ashes of his own grief. It was impossible. He'd watched her get hit. He'd watched her fall. Immediately he tried to reach her through the bond, calling out with his mind, desperately searching for hers. But there was nothing. It was just as silent and empty as before. He stared at the picture of Rose and couldn't understand how she could be there. Was it a trick? Another way for Davros to push him to his limits?

"What is this!?" the Doctor barked at Davros.

"Doctor?" came Rose's voice, the pitch and tone exactly as he remembered and would always remember. Nothing could ever scrub her from his mind. No amount of time or regenerations. She was woven into the very fabric of his being. "Doctor, is that you?"

"Rose..." Her name fell of his lips, nothing more than a whispered plea. A plea for it to somehow be real.

"Doctor!" Her tone rose in pitch, coloured by elation.

"Davros," the Doctor growled. "If this is a trick, I swear on all the souls who perished at Arcadia that I'll tear you apart."

"It's not a trick Doctor." It was Jack's voice. "She's alive. Really alive." The Doctor shook his head.

"No," he said. "No, she's gone. Rose is dead. It can't be her." He was so scared of hoping only to have it ripped away from him again. He'd lost her too many times. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Doctor...," she said softly. He refused to even look at the image of her. He knew Davros was smiling, enjoying every moment he suffered. "The first word you ever said to me," she said and he looked up in despite of himself. A careful half-smile was playing about her lips. Beautiful, beautiful Rose Tyler. Run, she mouthed silently.

The Doctor took a careful step forwards, coming in to her view. Her lips spread in a full on smile.

"What happened to Annabelle Conn?" Davros, asked, interrupting them. The camera panned and Jack came into view. He looked terrible. Blood soaked his shirt and judging by the amount he must have died for a bit.

"I shot her," Jack told them. "She recommended it." The camera panned back to Rose.

"Doctor," she said urgently. "You have to go. Get off this ship."

'Where are you?" the Doctor asked.

"Don't worry about me, just go."

"Go? Rose Tyler...-"

"Don't argue!" she interrupted him. Davros laughed.

"He won't leave Miss Tyler," he told her. "Will you, Doctor?" Davros turned to the Doctor, his smile twisting his deeply lined face. The Doctor ground his teeth together. No of course he wouldn't leave, not without Rose. Not a chance.

"I'm coming to get you," he told Rose without preamble. Dalek Caan's manic laughter filled the room and Davros pressed a few buttons on his chariot. Rose screamed out. The Doctor immediately stopped and turned back to the screen. Something had grabbed a hold of her. Something metal around her wrists that forced her down to her knees.

"No!" the Doctor screamed as something drilled it's way into the base of her skull. Normally he would have felt her pain but now he felt nothing, only saw her suffer and that was somehow worse. "Rose!"

He turned to Davros.

"Release her!" he demanded.

"This is what she was created for," Davros said. "Now watch her burn." He pressed another button. The Doctor lunged himself at Davros, thinking to keep his promise and tear him apart. But before he reached him he felt a singe across his arm and another across his leg. He went down on one knee. He glared up at the Daleks that had shot at him. To hinder and wound not to kill. Not yet. Davros wanted to play with him more. The thought made the Doctor growl in anger. He looked up at the screen.

Rose was on her knees, her breathing laboured, sweat trickling down her forehead. He could see her there and yet he couldn't quite allow himself to believe it was her. Feeling her being ripped from him was about the worse he'd ever felt. He had been frantic, mad. It was pain like he'd never known because it hit him physically just as much as emotionally. It was like having the thing you loved most taken from you at the same time as your hearts was literally cut out of your chest. He could still feel the ache, like a wound that would never heal. But if she was in fact alive. Than this was nothing. Nothing compared what would happen if she actually died.

"Stop!" he heard Jack scream. "You're killing her!"

"Not killing her, no," Davros refuted. "Waking her up." The Doctor struggled back up on his feet. the Dalek guns around the room following him.

"No!" Davros suddenly exclaimed. "What is this!?" He turned around, driving his chair to a set of controls on a dome like structure. He called a Dalek forth. "Find out what's wrong!" he barked at it. The Doctor looked at the screen. Rose was still on her knees, panting but no longer screaming. Something had gone wrong. The Dalek moved over to Davros. It used its manipulator arm to access the controls.

"POWER IS CUT O-FF," the Dalek explained.

"How?!" Davros barked. "Give me visual!" Another smaller, holographic image appeared above the controls. It showed an engine room. "Pan! Pan!" Davros insisted. The camera turned, showing more of the room.

The Doctor's eyes grew round as he saw Mickey and Martha hunkered down on the floor, cutting wires apart. He had all but forgotten the job he'd asked of them, only having been able to focus on one thing.

"Ah, " Davros said as he saw them. "The Doctor's children of time." Both Mickey and Martha twirled around.

"Yeah, whatever you were trying to power up, you can forget it," Mickey said, holding up a cut cable before tossing it on the floor.

"Get them!" Davros ordered his Daleks. "Get them!"

"You better run," the Doctor told them. "Thank you." They both gave the Doctor a nod before turning around and running. Davros turned his chair around, facing the Doctor.

"You think we can't repair the damage?" he snarled at the Doctor. "We have planned this for so long there is nothing that can stop it."

"Stop what exactly?" the Doctor asked.

"The reality bomb," Davros answered in a matter of fact voice, like he'd expected the Doctor to already have figured it out.

Fear crept into the Doctor's face as he realised just what that meant. That is what all these planets were for. They were energy parts to a bomb. A bomb with the power to wipe out all life in the universe, in every universe. To reset the clock.

"No, Davros," he said. "You can't! Not this!"

"What did you think your Bad Wolf was for, Doctor?" Davros spat. "For years I've been orchestrating events with the help of Dalek Caan's predictions. Years!"

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor breathed.

"Do you honestly think the Emperor was there by coincidence?" Davros hissed. "I sent him! I sent the Emperor through the hole in time. To the Earth, with one instruction. Destroy it. I knew you'd never let it happen. Your precious Earth."

"Why?"

"Dalek Caan saw the Bad Wolf being born out of the fear of loosing you. It was a test. To see if she was the one. The one prophesied about. The one you would risk everything for."

"No." The Doctor shook his head, taking a step back, feeling as though someone had knocked the air out of his lungs. "Canary Wharf? The void ship?"

"All me, Doctor." Davros smiled with utter triumph. And why shouldn't he feel triumphant? He had been playing them like puppets and they had danced along, never knowing who was pulling the strings.

"I suppose the Conn sisters were responsible for making her sick too," the Doctor said. Davros said nothing, only smiled. The Doctor felt sick. Everything planned out to get them here. To this point in time and space. "You're gonna use her to power the Reality bomb, aren't you?"

Davros nodded. "You have made me the prefect weapon, Doctor," Davros said in his raspy voice, sounding to the Doctor as though he was handing down a death sentence. "You, who don't even carry a gun." The Doctor felt like he couldn't breathe. "Do you see yourself now?" Davros asked. "Destroyer of worlds." The Doctor stared at Davros in fear. He was right. The Doctor abhorred violence. But he had destroyed his entire race. No matter he'd done it because he'd felt he had no other choice. He had still done it. Killed them all. Burned his home to ashes. And then he'd met a human girl. Young and beautiful. Innocent and brave. He'd clung to her because she was everything he no longer was. She'd pulled him out of an unimaginable darkness. Saved him. And in turn he had corrupted her, tainted her, turned her into a weapon. He was like a cancer. He poisoned everything he touched.

The Doctor hadn't noticed when he fell to his knees. Suddenly he just found himself staring at the floor, struggling to breathe. Everything he'd thought he was. everything he'd struggled to become was a lie. He should have burned with Gallifrey. It should have ended there.

"Doctor..." Rose's voice. "Doctor, don't listen. Please. It isn't true."

"How can you say that?" the Doctor ground out. "Look at what I did to you."

"No," Rose refuted. "You... you saved my life."

"I condemned it."

"Yes, you did," Davros cut in. "You turned the woman you love into the very thing you hate."

"POWER RE-STORED," the Dalek announced.

"Activate it," Davros said. The Doctor's head flipped up as Rose screamed.

"Stop that!" he screamed at Davros.

"I would if Miss Tyler wasn't so stubborn," Davros growled with frustration. "Just let it go, Miss Tyler," Davros urged her. "Become what you were meant to be."

"No!" Rose screamed. She twisted and turned, trying desperately to escape.

The Doctor looked up and felt his stomach drop. Martha and Mickey were being marched onto the bridge. They hadn't gotten away. Martha dropped her raised hands as she spotted him.

"Doctor!" she exclaimed. She made a move to run to him but a Dalek immediately stopped her, aiming his gun straight at her. And after them came Donna and Sarah Jane. Both gave the Doctor a nod, however. They'd completed their task. At least those people were off the ship.

"Ah, perfect timing," Davros said with delight. "Miss Tyler?" he called. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, but I rather not, so just... button it... why don't you," Rose ground out. Davros chuckled.

"Some friends have arrived. Do you know them?" he asked. Mickey and Martha were urged forwards while Donna and Sarah Jane were held at gunpoint to stay where they were.

Mickey's eyes grew round in utter shock as he saw Rose on the screen. He had to stop himself from rushing forwards. Martha's gaze flickered to the Doctor, concern clouding them.

"Shall I shoot one?" Davros asked. "Or perhaps both of these?" Rose glared up at Davros on the screen.

"Go to hell," she hissed.

"Very well," Davros agreed. "Shoot the girl," he said. The Doctor got to his feet.

"No!" he cried out.

"Then I suggest you urge Miss Tyler to stop resisting," Davros told the Doctor.

The Doctor turned his gaze to the image of Rose. He could see how she struggled.

"I won't let him use me," she told him, her voice strained. "I won't... be a weapon."

"Shoot her," Davros said. The Doctor lunged himself forwards knowing he was too far away to reach Martha in time. Her eyes met his. Fear. That's what he saw in them. She didn't want to die.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. One of the Daleks aimed its gun and fired. But Mickey somehow managed to knock Martha out of the way at the last second. Both crashed to the floor. The impact knocked the air out of Martha's lungs. It took her a moment to realise she was actually still alive. She sighed with momentary relief. Mickey had saved her before, when they'd been hiding from the Daleks in the belly of the ship. He'd done it without even stopping to think. Because she'd learned that, that was just the kind of man he was. Sacrificing when it mattered most.

The Doctor ran over to them. He grabbed Mickey with hands that shook. The minute Mickey's empty eyes met Martha's she screamed. The Doctor pulled him off her and she scrambled up. Mickey's dead eyes were staring up at nothing where he lay on the floor.

"No, no, no," Martha chanted in desperation. It couldn't be. He couldn't be dead. "Mickey!" she cried. "I just got to know you," her tone of voice saying that there had been the beginning of something there. Whatever that something might have become it was dead now. It would never be. An entire life, full of possibilities snuffed out in an instance.

The Doctor reached down to Mickey's wrist and checked for a pulse, just to be sure. There was nothing. The Doctor stared at the dead boy's face. They'd had their differences. The Doctor had stolen Rose away from him after all. There was no denying that. He had been so desperate to cling to the joy Rose brought him that he hadn't stopped to think of the pain his own happiness cost. Mickey was a good man. He hadn't deserved to have his entire life upended. He had never asked for any this. He'd never wanted to be a part of the Doctor's world. But he'd been too good to turn and run away. And now he was dead. Mickey Smith was dead.

The Doctor swallowed hard.

"Martha, he's gone." He tried to pull her away. Martha pushed him off her.

"This is your fault!" she spat, tears streaming down her face. The Doctor looked as though she'd struck him. Donna made a move forwards but the Daleks stopped her. Martha turned back to Mickey's lifeless body. She shook her head. "I didn't mean that," she cried. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't mean that." Donna and Sarah Jane were clutching each others hands, a desperate bid for strength and comfort where none else could be found.

"Doctor!" Rose. The Doctor felt his stomach twist into a knot. This would hurt her. Why couldn't he ever be strong enough to keep her safe from harm? From all kinds of harm. The Doctor would gladly have traded places with Mickey if it meant Rose wouldn't be hurt. But he couldn't trade their places, however much he might want to. Now Mickey was another death added to weigh on his conscience. One he had to find the strength to bear.

The Doctor turned around, his eyes finding Rose's on the screen. "Tell me he's ok," Rose breathed, still strapped to the wires meant to channel the errant power inside her.

"Rose..." the Doctor trailed off unable to voice it. But his silence told her more than his words ever could. He expected her to scream or cry or curse him like Martha. But she did neither. She just sat there on the floor as slowly light began moving beneath her skin. She clenched her hands into fists, struggling so desperately to regain the control she'd lost the moment she'd learned that the boy she'd once loved died. But she couldn't. Not alone. She needed him and the Doctor could do nothing but stare into her grief-stricken eyes as they began to glow with the power of the time-vortex.

"Finally," Davros said, staring at the image of Rose in awe. Gallifreyans hadn't started out as Time Lords. Proximity to the time-vortex during countless millennia had gradually turned them into what they'd become. It was an intricate part of their physiology, woven into their very souls. But in Rose it was errant. She was human and the power had nowhere to go.

Rose gave the Doctor a slight nod. He realised if she could, she'd turn herself to ashes in an attempt to stop what was happening. He couldn't let her do that. It wouldn't make a difference. Energy couldn't be destroyed only transformed. It would still need somewhere to go.

"Use me instead of her," he found himself saying. Davros turned to him. But the Doctor kept his eyes on Rose.

"But how would we do that, Doctor?" Davros asked.

"If you wound me. Mortally. You can harvest the regeneration energy to power your Reality bomb." A tear fell down the Doctor's cheek. "Use me. Not her."

"And so the prophecy is realised," Dalek Caan's mad voice cut through the room. "The last will sacrifice all for the sake of one."

"Take the Doctor to Miss Tyler," Davros told one of his Daleks, sounding as though he'd been half expecting the Doctor to do this very thing. Or something like it. Which he probably had. Everything planned out. Every little thing to get the Doctor to this moment. To fulfil words that had haunted him since he was a child. It hadn't been enough for Davros to simply kill him. He had wanted to break him. And he had. Davros had showed the Doctor who he was.

A cancer.

A poison.

The destroyer of worlds.


	22. Chapter 22 - Dancing with demons

Chapter 22 - Dancing with demons

Rose sat on the floor, struggling fruitlessly to stop. Images were flashing by inside her mind. She saw herself burning. Then the Doctor bowing his head in defeat in a way she knew he never would. Then she saw Mickey. Mickey happy and smiling with Martha Jones. One possible, beautiful timeline that would now never be. Mickey was dead. Dead. He had been such an intricate part of her for so long that the loss of him was devastating. The grief was ripping Rose apart, the energy pouring out of the open wound.

Rose screamed as it felt like her head was tearing itself to pieces, every molecule in her body on fire. She couldn't let this happen. But she needed the Doctor. The absence of the bond made the energy even more unpredictable. Before it had been tethered to something, however fragile the string. There was nothing tethering it now, only grief tearing her control apart.

 _Rose_...

It was a whisper across her mind. A caress, soft as the brush of a feather. Rose opened her eyes and there he stood. The Doctor. Her Doctor. She wanted to bound up and throw herself into his arms. Hold on tight and never let go. Let him hold her and brush away her tears. Tell her to be happy of the moments she'd gotten with her best friend. The boy that had followed her around since they were kids. That he'd died on his own terms. For someone else. A hero. But the manacles around her wrists were keeping her down. She could do nothing but sit there.

 _Rose_...

Tears were falling down her face. She could feel him there. In her mind again. It was like being given air when you had been dying from lack of it. Nothing could compare to that sense euphoria. Rose had put up so many walls to keep the Doctor out because the power of the bond had scared her so much. But feeling it now she couldn't imagine a life without it. Loosing it had been like loosing some essential part of herself. She had never felt so alone.

 _Doctor_...

He surged forwards, falling to his knees in front of her. His hands came up to her face, his fingers brushing away her tears. Tears for Mickey, tears for them, tears for everything that had happened and everything that hadn't. At his touch the bond immediately flared up, like golden strings woven between them, tying them together. She tried to focus the energy on it, not caring if doing so would bind them even tighter. But the power was out of control.

"I can't stop," Rose cried. The Doctor hushed her silent, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I got you," he whispered. "It's going to be alright."

He ran his fingers lightly across her cheeks, curling an errant lock behind her ear.

"Just focus on me," he said. "Not..." he tripped over the name. "Mickey," he managed to get out. "Not the Daleks. Feel me. Only me."

Rose took a deep, uneven breath. She tried to close the wound, pull the energy back. The Doctor shook his head.

"No," he whispered. "Don't try to control it, you won't be able to. We're far past that." He leaned down and kissed a tear away from her cheek. "Feel this?" he asked. The touch of his lips sent that familiar tingle over her skin. "Just focus on me," he whispered and kissed her.

It was like Rose could feel neurones firing off in her mind, finding connections that had been lost. She had wandered in darkness and now a light and sparked to life guiding her out. She hadn't even realised what she'd lost until she was given it back. How she had not crumbled and died without it she would never know. She only knew that this was it. That thing you walked through life not even knowing you were searching for. And she was damned if she was ever letting it go again.

The Doctor smiled against her lips. "You're so stubborn," he whispered. Rose was confused for a moment until she felt words brushing softly against her mind.

 _I can feel it_ , they whispered.

Of course he could feel what she was feeling. Her reluctance to ever let go of it. What they had. Rose reached across the bond, opening her mind to his. A rush of emotions overtook her. Fear and pain and desperation all mingled together with joy and disbelief and the most profound sense of gratitude. Gratitude that she was alive. That he got hold her one last time before...

Rose gasped, for a moment breaking apart from him.

 _Easy_ , he urged across the bond, nuzzling her nose. Rose closed the gap between them, kissing him like her very life depended on it. Because it did. He couldn't do what she feared he might. He couldn't.

"EN-OUGH" The mechanical voice of the Dalek was a far off echo but the Doctor still took a shuddering breath and pulled away from her. Rose struggled to breathe for a moment. The energy had somehow dimmed down to a slow burn. Enough for her to control it. At least for now. She glanced up and saw the Daleks beyond the glass. Two of them. The door the Doctor had entered through had been shut the minute he'd stepped inside. She had no idea where Jack had gone.

"You have to go," the Doctor said. Rose shook her head.

"No, I'm not leaving you. No," she told him. He leaned his forehead against hers again.

"You have to, please," he pleaded.

"You can't make me," Rose insisted. His thumb brushed across the line of her jaw and she shuddered with the electricity running through her blood.

"It made me mad," the Doctor said. "When I thought I'd lost you." He looked up and his eyes met hers.

 _I can't watch you burn. I can't let you carry this_ , he whispered to her mind. _Don't make me._

Rose shook her head.

"No," she said. "You can't give up. You never give up," she reminded him. "You can't honestly believe what Davros was saying about you."

"But it's true, Rose," the Doctor said sadly, looking at her as though he expected her to understand. "I killed my people. I turned you into this. Everyone dies around me. I'm poison." Rose looked up at him.

"Touch me," she said.

"What?" The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion, clearly surprised.

"Touch me," Rose repeated. The Doctor's eyes traced her face. Then slowly he reached out his hands. The minute his fingers graced her skin she took down every wall she'd ever put up against him. The ones fear and mistrust had hammered down around her mind. There was nothing she needed to fear. She knew evil. She'd seen it and this wasn't it. What the Doctor had done was not evil. It was wonderful and beautiful and frightening yes, but in the greatest sense of the word. The thrilling fear you felt right before you jumped into the unknown. The same fear she'd felt when she first ran away with him, all mixed up with excitement and wonder.

Rose did everything she could to convey the sense of the fantastical he'd brought to her life. How thankful she was that he'd risked so much for her. He was no longer up on a pedestal. No longer an untouchable hero unable to do wrong. He was real and alive. He made mistakes, He had flaws and she loved him all the more for them. A good man wasn't someone who never made a mistake. It was someone who learned from them and fought to be better. She'd read somewhere once that the person best suited for you was someone who danced well with your demons. That's what they did. When they closed their eyes and the Doctor's fingers ran up into her hair, his lips brushing against hers, her demons danced with his.

Suddenly pain exploded at the back of Rose's skull. She tore away from the Doctor.

"Enough of this!" came Davros's voice. She glared at the glass wall and the image of Davros on it. "Do as you promised, Doctor," Davros hissed. The Doctor nodded sadly.

"It's time," he said. The door opened with a swish and the two Daleks rolled in. Rose was shaking her head frantically.

"No," she insisted. "No." He ran his fingers down the side of her face, looking at her as though he was committing every line, every freckle to memory. Then words brushed against her mind. Beautiful, alien words. The words he'd spoken to her at Torchwood and again in her room. The words she didn't understand.

"You have to go," the Doctor leaned down and whispered in her ear. Rose shook her head.

"You can't do this," she said. "I won't let you."

"You have to let me," he said. "Don't ask me to watch you die. I can't... Not again. ."

Rose pulled away from him.

"But I'm supposed to!? she very nearly screamed in his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Rose, I'm so sorry."

"I told you never to say that to me again," Rose hissed.

"That won't stop it from being true," he told her, his head bent. When he finally raised it, Rose saw immeasurable sadness filling his dark brown eyes. It wasn't any kind of dull brown. It was the rich, strong kind you found in newly brewed coffee or melted chocolate. More than nine hundred years hid behind those eyes but at the moment she saw none of them. She saw a man. Just a man. At the end of his rope. A man who couldn't take anymore pain, anymore loss, begging her to let him do this one last thing for her. And all she wanted to do was slap his stupid face.

The Doctor clearly saw the anger sparking to life in her eyes. She wasn't going to accept this.

"Take her away," he told the Daleks. A Dalek came in between them, urging them apart. Rose stumbled to her feet.

"You're an idiot!" she screamed at the Doctor. The Dalek forced her towards the door. She hit the Dalek's head and pushed the eyestalk out of her face, not caring what it did to her. "Get off me," she growled at the Dalek. "Do you hear me?!" she screamed at the Doctor's back where he sat on the floor, his head hanging forwards in defeat. Just like she'd seen when she'd been on fire. It was so out of character it hurt her to her very core."If you believe one bloody thing Davros tells you, you are a ruddy, ruddy fool!" Rose screamed, trying to get past the Dalek, but it raised its exterminator gun to stop her. "He doesn't know anything about you!" Rose screamed. She pushed at the Dalek. No doubt they'd been given instructions not to harm her. She was the back-up now. "You wouldn't let Mickey die for nothing!"

Finally she managed to sidestep the Dalek. She rushed over to the Doctor, falling to her knees in front of him. She clasped his face, turning it up so she could look into his eyes.

"I know you!" she said. "Do you hear me? I know you. I know your heart, Doctor." Again the Dalek tried to force them apart. Rose payed it no mind. She put her hand over the place were one of his hearts beat. "Every beat, beats with mine," she said. "Now, you decide who you want to believe."

She let the Dalek force her to her feet. It urged her away, towards the exit while she stared at the Doctor's back. Waiting for some kind of reaction. For the longest time there was nothing. Then he called out in a strong clear voice.

"Jack!"

Jack appeared in the doorway.

"Ha, ha!" he called and aimed his very impressive gun, blowing one of the Daleks to smithereens. The Doctor drew his screwdriver out of his inner-jacket-pocket and aimed it at the camera in the corner. It blew out and the image of Davros disappeared from the glass. The other Dalek spun towards Jack, aiming its exterminator gun. But Jack already had the Dalek in sight. But when he pulled the trigger the weapon didn't fire.

"Damn!" Jack screamed and threw himself out of the doorway as the Dalek shot at him. The beam singed by inches away from him, hitting the doorframe. Rose twirled around and grabbed the thing they'd drilled into her head, from the floor. She stabbed it into the space between the Dalek's dome- head and neck.

"Turn up the power!" she called to Jack and the next second the Dalek screamed out as an impressive amount of voltage was shot into it. Sparks flew as its speaker-lights blew and a sad little moan fell from it as the blue light in the eyestalk went out. "Yeah, death to the pepper-shakers!" Rose called in triumph, mimicking Jack's earlier words, adrenaline from the success singing in her veins.

She spun around to find herself already in the Doctor's arms. He swept her up and kissed her before she had the chance to even take a breath.

"Brilliant," he mumbled against her lips. "My, beautiful, brilliant Rose Tyler." Rose threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close and kissing him back with everything that she had.

"Hey!" Jack called through the speaker system. "I killed one too," he pointed out. "When do I get a snog?"

"Shup up, Jack," the Doctor told him, only stopping long enough to utter the three words before he was back to kissing Rose, pulling her tight against him.

"Ok, guys, seriously though there is still about a million Daleks probably heading this way," Jack tried to point out. But at the moment his words held no real meaning. The Doctor and Rose were lost. Clinging to each other because they'd been so close to loosing everything and because they knew they still could.

"Guys?" came Jack's voice again over the speaker system. "I mean trust me, no one is happier you two are no longer dancing around this, especially since it was so very obvious to the rest of us but could you maybe...?" Rose heard him trail off as the Doctor's hands moved up her back. "Yeah, ok...I'll just...um...guard the...hallway... and let you two...yeah."

Rose pulled away but an inch, her hands around the Doctor's neck, her thumbs brushing against his cheeks.

"I can't believe you ever considered giving up like that," Rose told him.

"Weeell," the Doctor began, characteristically drawing the word out. Rose gave a frustrating growl, cutting him off.

"Oh, don't tell me it was all a trick to get down here?" she said. The Doctor opened his mouth to answer."Wait, no," Rose cut him off before he had a chance to say anything. "Don't tell me. I don't want to know." The Doctor smiled against her lips.

"It's easy to give up when you have nothing left to believe in," he told her. "You reminded me that there is always something worth believing in." He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pulled her tight against him, his head fell to her shoulder and he gave a sigh that made it seem as though he'd been carrying a great burden and was finally able to put it down. "You're it, Rose," he said. "You're it. Thank you."

Rose held on to him for a moment, closing her eyes to everything else. To Mickey and the thought of her family, to Davros and his Daleks. This moment was theirs and theirs alone. Shame it couldn't last.

"Jack was right though," Rose said. "They must be coming." The Doctor drew in a deep breath and reluctantly he let her go. At that moment Jack came bounding in.

"Oh, now you're done are you?" he asked with sarcasm, but there was a smile on his face. "So," he said, holding up the weapon at his side. "The Daleks are coming." He gave them both the eye, as though they were a couple of children he was trying to convince of the gravity of the situation. "I barred the door but that won't hold forever. We need to find a way out of here." The Doctor waved him over.

"Give me your arm," he said. Jack held up the one with the vortex-manipulator on it.

"Can you fix it?" Jack asked. "One of the Daleks shot it to hell." The Doctor flicked his screwdriver into his hand. He began running the sonic over it just as a great bang sounded from the other room.

"They're here," Rose said.

"Just a minute," the Doctor muttered, concentrating. Rose left them and hurried into the next room. She froze the minute she got there. Annabelle's body was still lying on the floor, blood staining her white blouse, one leg twisted at an awkward angle and her eyes closed.

Rose found herself staring at her, spellbound until another bang rang out. Sparks burst from the top of the metal door. The Daleks must be using some kind of blowtorch to get through. And by the look of it it wasn't going to take them long. Rose hurried over to the three screens on Annabelle's desk.

"You think you can win?" Rose twirled around at the sound of that voice. Even though it was nothing more than a gurgling hiss, she still recognised it. She was sure it would even haunt her nightmares if they ever got out of this alive. "You can't win," Annabelle Conn, hissed from the floor. Judging by all the blood, she wouldn't last much longer. Rose was even surprised she could still be alive. "Davros will destroy you," Annabelle told her with a snarl.

"And everything else," Rose said. "You think he's building some great utopia but it is a lie, Annabelle."

"No," Annabelle denied resolutely.

"They're Daleks!" Rose tried to convince her yet again. But it was clear the woman had no concept of what a Dalek truly was.

"Davros is a visionary," she insisted, her voice broken by her frail, wheezy breath. Rose shook her head sadly as she looked down on Annabelle.

"Davros is a liar," she said. "A mad one at that."

"So... is your Doctor," Annabelle said weakly, a mocking smile about her lips. "You think he's told you everything it means to be bound to him like you are? I... studied that energy inside you, Agent Tyler... I can... promise you he hasn't." Her smile faltered. For a second she struggled for breath, panic in her eyes right before the light went out of them. It wasn't a quiet, peaceful end. Not for Annabelle Conn. But neither had she deserved one.

Rose stared down at her for a moment longer.

"Rose!" the Doctor called from the other room. Rose gave herself a mental shake and turned back to the screens. She pressed a number of buttons on the keypad, hoping she was hitting the right ones. The screens began showing her different parts of the ship. She flickered through them until she found an image of the bridge. Her heart clenched painfully inside her chest as she saw Mickey on the floor. Not moving. Dead. She pushed the pain back. Hopefully there would be time for her to mourn him. But that time wasn't now. Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane stood in a circle surrounded by Daleks. Davros wasn't taking any more chances. But they were alive at least. That's what mattered.

"Rose!" the Doctor screamed again. Rose gave the door a quick glance. The Daleks were moments away from getting through. She turned and ran back into that other room.

The Doctor immediately clasped her hand and pulled her over. He put her hand on Jack's vortex-manipulator just as the outer door fell with a loud bang. Daleks spilled in from the opening.

"EXTERMINATE!" they screamed and fired at them. Rose only had time to see the glass wall shatter before it was all gone for a moment.

It was like riding a roller-coaster without being strapped in. Rose's feet suddenly hit solid ground. The impact knocking her off balance. The Doctor caught her and steadied her.

"You ok?" he asked. She nodded.

"What was that?" Rose asked. "That was horrible."

"Space hopper," the Doctor said distractedly as his eyes traced her face, making sure she was indeed ok.

"Yeah, but the space hopper just saved your lives," Jack pointed out. He looked around, searching for any threat. The Doctor turned away from Rose.

"We need to get going," he said. "We need to get back to the TARDIS."

"We're not running are we?" Jack asked, sounding as though he couldn't quite believe he was asking the question.

"No, we're not running," the Doctor told him, walking out of the room. "Where did I park her?" he muttered. "I could have sworn..." He wandered away. Rose and Jack hurried after.

As they got out into the hallway they just saw the Doctor disappear behind a bend. Jack looked from one way to the other.

"Doctor!" Jack called after him. The Doctor's head popped out from behind the bend. "Other way," Jack told him, pointing his thumb behind him. The Doctor glanced over his shoulder.

"Right," he said. "Yeah, right." He flew past them, Rose and Jack following. "Seems I've momentarily lost my sense of direction," the Doctor called back over his shoulder.

"Like you ever had one," Rose whispered to Jack. Jack stifled a laugh.

"I heard that!"

Rose and Jack hurried after the Doctor. They entered another room and there she was. The TARDIS.

"How come Davros doesn't know it's here?" Rose asked as the Doctor ran over to the big blue box.

"Parked her in a black spot," the Doctor explained. "Davros has sensors all over. Control freak that one." He pulled the TARDIS key out of his pocket. "But this is a black spot. No sensors aimed at this exact point."

"Handy," Rose said.

"Oh, yeah," the Doctor agreed. He unlocked the TARDIS door and disappeared inside. Jack bounded in after him. Rose walked up to the door. She put her hand against the familiar blue painted wood.

"Rose?" the Doctor called from inside the TARDIS. Rose took a deep breath and stepped inside. She expected the energy to settle the minute she did. But it took it a moment. The TARDIS hummed as though in welcome. Glad, to see you too, Rose thought, closing the door behind her.

She walked up the ramp to find the Doctor at the centre console, his eyes on the monitor, spectacles perched on his nose. Jack was checking his gun, probably trying to figure out why it had misfired.

"So, is there a plan?" Rose asked of the room.

"Oh, you know, stop the Daleks, get Martha, Donna and Sarah Jane, return all the planets," the Doctor said without taking his eyes off the screen. "Or maybe get Martha, Donna and Sarah Jane first, then stop the Daleks and then return the planets. Or...-"

"Doctor," Rose interrupted him. "You're rambling. Rambling either means you've worked out what to do or you're too stubborn to admit that you're terrified. So which one is it?"

"I know what do," he said, sounding affronted. "Obviously. This is not even my terrified face. Do you know me at all, Rose Tyler?" Rose sighed and rolled her eyes at him. "I'm just somewhat undecided about the order."

"Well, this gun has run out of juice," Jack declared, putting it aside. Rose walked over to the Doctor's side and Jack quickly joined him on his other.

"So what exactly are we looking at?" Rose asked, staring at the screen and understanding nothing about the strange circular shapes flashing across it.

"See this here?" The Doctor pointed at a particular circle within another circle overlapped by lines. "It's the Dalek pathweb."

"Pathweb? What's that?"

"It's this kind of artificial telepathic sort of web. They share information over it."

"So they have Wifi," Rose concluded. Both the Doctor and Jack turned to her. "What?" she asked at the looks they were giving her.

"This is a highly sophisticated piece of technology," the Doctor explained, gesticulating with his whole hand to further emphasise his point. "During the war we tried multiple times to hack it but we couldn't."

"It is a web they share information over, an artificial one, not like with you and me right?" Rose said, pointing her finger back and forth between her and the Doctor.

"Yeah, what is that about anyway?" Jack cut in. "You can hear each other's thoughts or what?" Both Rose and the Doctor ignored him.

"So it's an information web that they can all access wirelessly..." Rose continued, smiling impishly at him. The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Alright, yes they have Wifi," he conceded, clearly annoyed Rose had narrowed it down to something so simple when it essentially most likely was a lot more complicated.

"So you can hear every dirty little crazy thought in his head?" Jack asked.

"It doesn't work like that," the Doctor said, turning back to the monitor.

"Yeah, it's more like I can feel him," Rose tried to explain. "If I let myself. It's sort of..."

"Intimate?" Jack asked. Rose nodded slowly.

"Can we please focus back to problem at hand," the Doctor insisted, pointing at the screen.

Both Rose and Jack immediately gave him their attention. "So..." he began. "Before we left I set the TARDIS to infiltrate the pathweb. Not hack it per-say, just gain some access to it."

"And did she?" Jack asked.

"She did," the Doctor confirmed. He began pressing buttons, the picture in front of him changing, showing new circular shapes. "But it isn't enough. Not enough to do anything. I was going to open up the feeds when I got to the bridge but things got... complicated. Anyway, it would have hopefully been enough for the TARDIS to access the Dalekanium power feeds and reverse them. Blowing the Daleks and everything they'd built back into oblivion."

"So you really were on a suicide mission?" Jack asked, his voice turning sad. "You weren't planning on coming back."

"I thought I'd lost Rose. There was no reason for me to come back," the Doctor said, keeping his eyes on the screen, his fingers tapping away. Rose captured his hand and gave it a squeeze. He stopped for a moment and squeezed hers in turn. Both taking strength form the other. She couldn't even imagine what he'd been through, thinking she was gone. Losing him was a concept she couldn't even contemplate.

The Doctor pulled his hand out of Rose's and returned to the monitor.

"Anyway, had any of you made it back to the TARDIS," he said to Jack. "Protocol One would have been activated. She would have taken you home."

"So now all we need is access to the bridge?" Rose asked. The Doctor nodded. "Which we have," Rose said.

"We do?" Jack asked.

"Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane. I checked before we used the space-hopper." Jack gave her a glare at this. "They were all still on the bridge then," Rose finished.

"Is there anyway we can contact them?" Jack asked.

"Maybe," the Doctor said thoughtfully. Rose turned around, leaning her back against the console. She folded her arms across her chest and smiled at the Doctor.

"Is there a full on plan forming in that clever mind of yours?" she asked, smiling cheekily. He turned his eyes on her and his lips spread slowly, until his smile made his eyes come alight.

"Oh, yes," he said. "Oh, yes."


	23. Chapter 23 - Risk and reward

Chapter 23 - Risk and reward

It took him a little while but eventually the Doctor managed to hack his way into the surveillance feed for the bridge. The screen flickered and showed them an image of Davros apparently screaming out orders to the Daleks. Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane stood huddled together surrounded by a ring of them. Mickey's body still lay on the floor, discarded. The Doctor couldn't help but feel a horrible twinge of guilt at the sight of it. One more he couldn't save. He glanced at Rose next to him afraid he would see sorrow in her eyes. But her eyes weren't on the screen. They were on him, alight with hope and trust. She had so much faith in him still.

It is what had made him do it in the end. He'd let her believe that it might have been his plan all along. That it had all been pretend. That Davros hadn't broken him. But he had. The Doctor had gone to that room with the full intent of dying. Davros had shown him the truth of his existence. The brutality and horror of it. Everything he swore he abhorred. It had been so easy to loose hope when everything you thought you believed in turned out to be a lie. There had been nothing left for him. Nothing but the fear of watching the woman he loved turn to ash before his eyes and a desperate need to do anything to keep her from pain.

Rose had brought life back into his life. She'd given him hope and for however brief a time he got to have her. And for that he was infinitely grateful. So he would do this one last thing for her. He would carry the burden. For her. For Rose.

But Rose hadn't seen it that way. She had thought he was simply giving up and at the look of disappointment in her eyes he'd realised she was right. He had given up and that wasn't brave or noble. So when she'd asked, the hope in her eyes had stopped him from telling her the truth. He'd let her believe that he had never given up at all because he couldn't bear to disappoint her again.

The Doctor turned his eyes back to the screen.

"Right then," he said. "See this here." He pointed out a number of control stations. "I need you all to get to these. I need you to open the feeds. Reverse them. I'll do the rest."

"I don't know about you but I have very little knowledge of Dalek technology," Jack pointed out. "How will we know how to reverse the feeds?"

"I can show Rose, she'll talk you through it," the Doctor explained.

"And how do we get to those stations?" Rose asked. The Doctor glanced at her.

"You run," he said and gave her a smile. She smiled back at him.

"I'll make sure to keep the Daleks busy," the Doctor said, returning to pressing buttons. "They'll be reluctant to kill you, Rose and they can't kill you, Jack but Martha, Donna, and Sarah Jane are still vulnerable. But you are going to need them to operate all the stations."

"Doctor," Rose said carefully.

"Hm," he mumbled distractedly, focused on what he was doing.

"You do know, what you're doing?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked back, not looking at her.

"This will kill all of them," she said.

"Yes," he replied.

"It will be a slaughter."

"Yes,"

"Are you sure...-" she began but he cut her off.

"I don't know what else to do," he said, a hint of the exhaustion he felt sipping through his tone. "Davros tried to take everything I care about away from me. I don't know what else to do," he repeated. The Doctor looked up and finally met her eyes. "It's not vengeance I swear it's not Rose. But I can't reason with him. He's proved that. So I have to stop him or everyone will die."

Rose nodded. "Alright," she agreed. Just like that. It was strange and wonderful having her trust him like this again. He knew there were still things between them. Still lies and worries and uncertainties. But for now at least, she trusted him.

The Doctor finished putting the calculations into the TARDIS computer. He turned to Rose.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded. He put his fingers carefully at her temples. "Close your eyes," he said. She did. He felt the tingle running over his skin from the points where he touched her.

"Relax," he said with a smile, feeling her tensing up all over.

"Sorry," she mumbled, taking a deep calming breath. The Doctor slowly felt her mind opening up to his. He couldn't seem to get used to it. The feel of another's mind like this. There had been nothing for so long. All his race dead. He'd been so alone.

Rose relaxed, their minds twining together. The Doctor focused on putting the images inside her head. Showing her what they needed to do.

"You got it?" he asked. She nodded. He was supposed to let go. But for some reason he didn't. He could feel their minds binding themselves together, tighter and tighter and he knew he had to let go. It was dangerous making the bond too strong. It was more of a gamble then he wanted to admit, even to himself. But feeling her was intoxicating. He couldn't get enough of it. Suddenly he found that his hand had slipped into her hair and he was pulling her closer, unable or unwilling to resist the urge.

 _Doctor_.

It was like a breath across his mind. A caress soft as a mere whisper.

"Guys, there is a time and a place." Jack's words effectively and immediately pulled them out of their trans. Both the Doctor and Rose drew apart.

"Um," the Doctor ran his fingers awkwardly through his hair. He glanced at Rose and saw her blushing. That made it worse. He hadn't meant to embarrass her. Now he felt like an idiot. He made a move towards her and she immediately turned away, giving Jack a smile that the Doctor suspected only he could tell was not quite genuine.

"Right then!" the Doctor called out, drawing all attention to him instead. "Everyone ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be," Jack said.

"Ready." Rose nodded. At first she didn't meet his eye and he felt a twinge deep in his gut. But then she raised them and her beautiful hazel eyes met his. She gave him a small smile. A genuine one. An 'everything will be alright' smile. And that was all he needed.

He flipped the switch, the TARDIS humming to life.

"Off we go," he said.

"Off to save the universe!" Jack declared. Rose laughed.

The TARDIS dematerialised and materialised a few floors up. As close as the Doctor could safely get them to the bridge.

"Alright, you two know what to do," the Doctor said, both Jack and Rose nodding. "Good luck."

"And you," Jack said with a swift salute, hurrying to the doors. Rose moved to follow but the Doctor clasped her wrist stopping her.

"Rose, wait," he said. She turned back to him. There was so much he wanted to tell her. And so much he feared to tell her. And now they had time for none of it. She must have seen something in his eyes for she closed the gap between them, twining her fingers with his.

"It will be ok," she said. He nodded.

"I know," he said. "Just... be careful." She smiled and backed away from him.

"I'm always careful," she said with a wink. She pulled her hand out of his and turned around to follow Jack. But the Doctor was suddenly there, spinning her around and pulling her into his arms.

"You are never careful," he told her, hugging her tight. "You are brave and I love that about you but sometimes bravery gets you killed and I can't..." he trailed off unable to finish, only holding her closer. Her arms came up around his shoulders, hugging him back.

"I'll be careful," she said. "I promise. As long as you are. You're not known for it you know," she reminded him. He laughed, the sound getting muffled by her hair.

"I promise," he said.

Finally they managed to pull apart. Mostly to avoid some snide but well-meant remark from Jack.

"I'll see you soon," the Doctor said.

"Count on it," Rose promised.

Rose turned around and hurried after Jack, slipping out through the TARDIS doors. Once outside, the hallways looked much the same as any other. Daleks weren't exactly known for their architectural flare. Rose hurried down the hallway after Jack. They could hear Davros shouting about having detected the TARDIS, ordering the Daleks to find it immediately.

"Hurry," Jack urged over his shoulder. They ran down the hallway when the sound of approaching Daleks reached them. Jack clasped her arm and yanked her with him down another hallway. He urged her against the wall with his arm, both of them pushing their backs to it, trying to be as small as possible. The first they saw was a Dalek eyestalk. Both Rose and Jack immediately stopped breathing. The Dalek moved past them, not looking their way. Three more followed the first. The last one stopped for some reason. Right next to them. All it had to do was turn its head and it would see them. Rose and Jack pressed themselves tighter to the wall.

"TARDIS DE-TECTED ON LEVEL FO-UR," one of the Daleks announced. The Dalek that had stopped moved again, all four of them disappearing down the hall. Jack peaked out.

"I think we're clear," he said.

They continued down the way they had before. It wouldn't be too hard finding the bridge. All they had to do was follow Davros's screams of frustration. Apparently things weren't quite going according to plan.

"Fools!" they heard Davros scream. "He's on level eight now! Level eight! Catch him!" Jack and Rose sneaked closer. They peaked out behind a bend and saw the bridge. Davros was screaming at a holographic image of the TARDIS as it dematerialised. They could just spot Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane off to the side, only two Dalek's guarding them now. But there were more Daleks about. You could hear them in the shadows.

"Ok," Jack whispered back to Rose. "I'll get the girls and you get to one of the control stations."

"How about I get the girls and you go to one of the control stations," Rose countered. Jack shook his head.

"I can't die," he reminded her.

"No, but if they shoot you, they'll knock you out, we can't afford that. We need you conscious." Rose surveyed the scene before her, careful not to be seen by either Davros or his Daleks. "I'll go," she said. But Jack shook his head again.

"I can't," he said. "The Doctor...-"

"What about the Doctor?" Rose interrupted, turning a glare on Jack.

"I can't put you in harms way like that," Jack whispered.

"What do you mean, harms way? No place here is safe!" Rose hissed at him. "And if we don't do this everyone we've ever cared about is going to die. Just like Mickey. Dead. Not breathing. Do you get that!?" Jack drew back a little at her harsh words and Rose felt her gut twist into a knot just speaking Mickey's name. But she couldn't let that cripple her. She had to use it. Let it make her angry and use that anger to fight. "They won't kill me," she said, forcing her voice to a more reasonable tone. "Davros might still need me."

"The Doctor will kill me," Jack pointed out. "If something happened to you, he will kill me."

"If we fail it wont matter anyway," Rose insisted.

Jack stared at her for a moment before finally conceding.

"Fine," he said. "You get them. I'll get to one of the control stations. Do you still know what to do once we are in position?" he asked. Rose tapped her temple with her finger.

"All safe and sound in here," she said.

"Ok, then," Jack said. Rose turned back to the bridge.

"Here goes nothing," she said and sneaked out.

Rose streaked along the walls, keeping to the shadows. She was hoping against hope that she wouldn't run into any Daleks hiding in the dark corners of the room before she got to Donna, Martha and Sarah Jane. Davros's attention was focused on the holographic screen that he kept shouting at. He wasn't paying attention to anything else. Annabelle Conn had been right. Davros was obsessed with the Doctor and right now it was working to their advantage. The two Daleks on guard kept swivelling around, clearly they had no intention of letting their guard down. One of them turned in her direction and Rose threw herself down behind a large canister of something. She hunkered down behind it, practically feeling the blue eyestalk of the Dalek boring into the metal that was all that was separating her from it.

After a few minutes she dared to peak out behind her hiding-spot. Neither of the Daleks were looking in her direction at the moment. She rushed over to the girls, their eyes mostly focused on Davros who was still livid.

"Don't turn around," Rose whispered behind them. All three women froze at the sound of her voice. "There is a plan," Rose told them.

"It better be a good one," Martha hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

"Well..." Rose began.

"Oh, just spill it out," Donna interrupted. Rose told them the plan quickly.

"That's insane!" Sarah Jane exclaimed as quietly as she could. "How are we going to get past these Daleks without being shot? How are we going to get past Davros?"

"Leave that to me," Rose said. "Then the Doctor will handle the rest."

"What are you planning on doing?" Martha asked.

"All we need is a diversion," Rose said. "And I make a pretty good one." Rose looked hastily around the room. "Get ready to run to the control station. One at each one," Rose told them.

"I can't even change a plug," Donna pointed out frustratingly.

"You'll be fine," Rose told her. "I know you will, because there is no other choice. This is it. Or the world ends."

Rose took a deep breath and straightened.

"Chasing ghosts, Davros?" she asked, loud and clear as she stepped past the two guarding Daleks with all the confidence in the world. The minute she did, they both erupted with chatter.

"ROSE TY-LER LO-CATED!"

"ROSE TY-LER LO-CATED!"

Rose watched Davros's eyes widen in disbelief as he saw her.

"Why would you be here?" he asked in his rattly mechanical voice. Rose wandered over to him, knowing she held the attention of the entire room

"Why indeed?" she asked. Rose saw out of the corner of her eye, the three women get to their stations. And if she turned her head a little she could spot Jack at his.

"This is a trick!" Davros exclaimed, angrily. "He would never send you here. He would never risk it."

"You're right," Rose agreed. "He wouldn't." She smiled at Davros. "Unless the risk was worth the reward."

Davros just stared at her as the familiar, wonderful whooshing sound signalled the arrival of the TARDIS. Rose just smiled at Davros, her eyes focused dead on his. Because if she strayed, even for a moment her eyes would find Mickey on the floor. The TARDIS materialised and one of the doors was pulled opened. The Doctor stood in the doorway. He leaned his shoulder casually against the doorjamb, hands in his pockets, one sneakered foot crossed over the other and smiled roguishly.

"Doctor!" Davros screamed as all the remaining Daleks in the room cried out in unison.

"EXTERMINATE!"

"No!" Davros screamed out. A few exterminator beams still whisked past before Davros had a chance to stop them. The Doctor didn't even flinch as they missed him. "No one will shoot him until I give the order!" Davros called. The Daleks reluctantly lowered their weapons. You could fairly taste on the air how dearly they wanted to kill the Doctor.

"How did you like my game of hide and seek?" the Doctor asked Davros. Davros's marred face twisted into a snarl. "Seems a lot of your Daleks are still playing," the Doctor remarked as he glanced around the room, noticing there were a lot fewer Daleks currently on the bridge.

"The end has been prophesied, Doctor! There is nothing you can do to prevent it," Davros snarled.

"Is that so?" the Doctor asked, sauntering out of the doorway, his long brown coat draped over his lean figure.

 _Go_ , he urged to Rose across the bond. She slowly backed away. Davros attention was solely on the Doctor but she knew the Daleks were not so easily fooled.

"If that's true then you have nothing to worry about do you," the Doctor was saying while Rose edged ever closer to the last control station.

"You are finished, Doctor," Davros hissed. "Your reign of terror ends." The Doctor's eyes focused dead on Davros.

"You actually had me believing that," he said. "For a moment." Rose reached the station. She caught the eyes of the other companions. Time to get to work.

"Because it is true," Davros hissed at the Doctor.

"Only your version of it," the Doctor countered.

"Press all the green buttons except the third form the left," Rose whispered to them as loudly as she dared. Everyone did as she said and though Davros appeared to notice nothing, whether out of arrogance or ignorance the rest of the Daleks were not deceived.

"DE-SIST!" the Daleks shouted at them.

"Don't stop!" Rose told them. "Left lever. Pull it down!" The Dalek's began firing. Rose ducked just as a beam whisked past her. A hidden keyboard of sorts unfolded from the base of the station. Regular buttons. Not designed to be used by Daleks. They must be meant to be used by Davros alone. "First three!" Rose screamed. "Last two!"

More Daleks were firing now. Rose could hear Davros shouting at them to hold fire. But she didn't think they were listening anymore. She continued shouting out instructions, praying that the others could hear her and follow through.

"EXTERMINATE!" The dreaded word rang around the room, their deadly beams shooting off everywhere.

"The gauge! Pull it up to sixty!" Rose screamed over the noise. Rose put in the last commands. The station hummed and lit up. But then suddenly the station powered back down. Rose looked around in panic. Donna was down on the ground. No. Not Donna. No. Rose peaked her head up. It was chaos. The Daleks were shooting at everything that moved while Davros was shouting at them to stop. They weren't heading him. But Daleks were meant to follow orders. They were built for it. Without it, it was pure anarchy, pure madness.

Rose took her chances and ran. She could practically feel the heat of the exterminator beams as they blew past her, missing her by inches. One hit and it was all over. She fell to her knees next to Donna, hunkering down behind her station to avoid getting hit.

"Donna?" Rose heard the hitch her own voice. The fear. Rose turned Donna over. She had a nasty burn on the left side of her face but she was breathing. She was alive. Rose turned to Donna's station. She must have hit a button as she fell. Rose scrambled for a moment, trying to find what was different. When she did, she didn't have time to fix it.

"EXTERMINATE," she heard from right behind her. She twirled around. A Dalek stood there, pointing its gun at right at her. It was different from the others. It was red instead of the usual dull, metal brown. And all Rose could think about for a moment was that it was the colour of blood. Human blood.

Rose stared at it and it stared at her. But it didn't fire.

"You won't kill me," Rose said. "You still need me."

"WE NEED NO HU-MAN!" the Dalek declared.

"You need me to power you stupid bomb!" Rose shouted at it. "It's what I was made for after all, wasn't it? The Doctor wasn't. It might work with him or it might not. It was a gamble. I'm not a gamble." The Dalek was silent for a long time.

"CO-RRECT," it confirmed.

"Thought so," Rose said and twirled back around. She hit the buttons as quickly as she could. But almost immediately felt agonising pain lash through her shoulder. She faltered, catching herself against the floor. She could smell burnt flesh.

"RI-SE." the Dalek ordered.

"No," Rose ground out between her teeth, struggling for a moment to stay conscious.

"RI-SE OR I WILL KILL THE FE-MALE."

Rose glanced down at Donna where she lay. She couldn't watch someone else die. She couldn't. Rose struggled to her feet. The room was under some kind of order. No more Daleks were chaotically shooting at everyone and everything. She saw Sarah Jane, Martha and Jack all held at gunpoint. The Doctor was standing in the middle of the room. surrounded by at least ten Daleks. Guess they weren't taking any more chances. His eyes met Rose's as she straightened. She gave a slight shake of her head, as to say they'd failed.

 _It's alright_ , she heard softly inside her mind. I _t's going to be ok._

 _Liar_ , Rose thought back and got an overwhelming sense of sadness from the Doctor. She clutched her shoulder. It hurt to move, it hurt just to breath. The Dalek must have shot her just to wound her and done a very good job of it.

 _Are you hurt?_

 _I'll live._

"This is mutiny!" Davros was screaming. "I did not create you to defy me!"

"YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF THE DALEK CA-USE," the red Dalek behind Rose told Davros.

"The cause is whatever I say it is!" Davros shouted.

"NOT ANY MO-RE." The red Dalek turned to two of the regular ones. "TAKE HER DOWN TO BE RE-INSERTED," it ordered them and pushed Rose forwards.

"No!" the Doctor cried out and lunged towards them. But he immediately got stopped by the ring of Daleks surrounding him. Rose turned her eyes to the Doctor. He was shaking his head, a look of fear in his eyes the like of which she'd never seen. It broke her heart seeing him like that. The brilliant Doctor, not afraid of anything. Anything but this. Of watching others suffer. Watching her suffer. The one thing he couldn't bear. "Take me," he asked of the Daleks. "Take me not her. Please. Not her."

"SHE WAS CRE-ATED FOR THIS," the red Dalek said. The Doctor just continued to shake his head.

 _I can't. No._ The words held such fear and desperation as they brushed past her mind that it brought tears to Rose's eyes.

 _I'm sorry,_ she whispered back. _I'm so sorry_.

 _Rose, I can't._

 _It will be alright_ , she tried to assure him.

 _Liar_ , he told her and she realised their roles were suddenly reversed. Now he was the one that was scared and she was the one who tried to comfort him with empty promises.

"MOVE!" the red Dalek insisted, effectively snapping the strings between Rose's mind and the Doctor's bringing them both back to the world around them. Rose turned away, feeling her heart ripping itself apart as she did. She wasn't meant to turn away from him. They were supposed to be together. However dangerous and stupid it was, they were supposed to be together. Always. The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler.

"Spark-plugs be damned."

Rose twirled around just to see Donna reach up her hand and press the last button on her station. It lit up, humming to life. All the Daleks twirled around, not knowing where to focus as all the stations lit up with it. The Doctor took immediate advantage of their distraction and rushed past the circle of Daleks around him. He threw himself at Davros. Of course his chariot would hold the final controls for reversing the feeds. Davros tried to fight him off but the Doctor clearly accomplished what he'd intended as he stumbled back. He got the sonic out of his pocket and raised it.

"Hey, Daleks," he called out, loud and clear. They swivelled around. "Goodbye," the Doctor told them and the blue tip of his screwdriver lit up.

Rose wasn't sure how you could tell a Dalek was afraid. It didn't have a face. It couldn't show emotion. But at that moment, when they all turned to face the Doctor. In that moment she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were all scared to death.

/

 **Sorry this took me so very long to post. I've been living in a tent at a festival for seven days! So no wifi to speak of. It was incredibly fun but I'm never doing that again. When I logged on I saw that the story has 100 followers! Omg! I don't even know what to say to that. I know that in the grand scheme of things this might not be so much but to me it is! It really is. I can't even believe it. I was totally amazed when the story had two! I couldn't believe two whole people thought it was good enough to follow. Two whole people and now there's one-hundred of you! I truly can't thank you enough or explain how happy it makes me that you like this. Thank you so much to all the favs and follows and your reviews are the most wonderful things in the whole world! Thank you!**


	24. Chapter 24 - Bad Wolf bay

Chapter 24- Dårlig Ulv stranden

The Daleks exploded all around them. Screaming as their casings blew, their true forms burning. One of the ones next to Rose blew with such force the shockwave knocked her to the floor. She hit her injured shoulder as she landed, groaning in pain. She was almost immediately yanked to her feet. For a moment she thought it was the Doctor but she quickly found out it was Jack.

"Time to go!" he screamed over the noise of the Daleks dying. She saw the Doctor helping Donna. Martha and Sarah Jane were running towards the TARDIS trying to avoid the exploding Daleks.

The Captain and Rose ran. Everything was burning around them. The whole Crucible was going up in flames. Jack rushed inside the TARDIS just after Martha and Sarah Jane. Rose stopped in the opening, looking back. The Doctor was running towards her, pulling Donna with him. Suddenly the red Dalek was in front of them, blocking Rose's view.

"IF WE DIE, YOU DIE WITH US, DO-CTOR!" the Dalek vowed. The Doctor pushed Donna ahead of him. She stumbled past the red Dalek. Rose rushed forwards and caught her, helping her quickly back to the TARDIS.

"Doctor!" Rose screamed as she turned back around. The red Dalek was crying out. A shrill mechanical sound. It was going to blow, taking the Doctor with it. Rose rushed forwards without thinking.

"Don't!" the Doctor screamed. She stopped dead just as the Dalek exploded in a ball of fire. Rose covered her face, the heat of it reaching even her. She lowered her arm, looking around desperately. She didn't see the Doctor.

 _Doctor_! Rose shouted in panic, at first not realising she didn't scream it out loud. _Doctor_! There was smoke and fire everywhere. She could see nothing. _Doctor_!

Then he came like a phantom through the dust and flame. First she saw only his shadow on the smoke. That familiar silhouette, his coat billowing out behind him. The smoke parted to show her the most wonderful man she'd ever known. But that wasn't all he was. He was also the man she loved. The Doctor. Saviour of worlds, protector of the helpless. The last of the Time Lords, burning at the heart of time and space. Ancient and forever.

"Run! Rose run!" he screamed, but the sound was drowned out as the ship around them exploded in fire. "Run!"

Rose turned and ran, sure he'd be right behind her. She crashed through the TARDIS doors, stumbling up the ramp, smoke actually following her in. Martha was bandaging the burn on the side of Donna's face. Jack was practically bouncing at the balls of his feet, worry in every line of his face. Sarah Jane stood to the side, still, almost serene looking until you caught her eye and saw the turmoil in them. Relief filled Jack's face as she stumbled in. But then he turned his eyes to the doors behind her.

"What about the Doctor?" he asked. Rose twirled around. He wasn't there. He hadn't been right behind her at all. She felt her heart clench painfully inside her chest. She was just about to rush back out when the Doctor stumbled inside. He was carrying something big and heavy over his shoulder. A second later Rose realised what it was and her knees nearly folded under her. She didn't know how she was staying upright, being able to do nothing but stare at the Doctor as he carried the body of her dead friend.

The Doctor walked past her, placing Mickey's body gently down to one side, sliding off his coat and placing it over him. The image of the Doctor kneeling next to Mickey slowly became a blur as though Rose's eyes could no longer focus. Some part of her still seemed to think that he would simply get up. Just laugh and tell her it had all been some great ploy. But he wasn't getting up. He was never getting up again.

Suddenly the Doctor was in front of her. She felt it as his hands clasped around her wrists, the bond flaring to life.

 _Rose_

She looked up, her vision finally focusing. She looked into the Doctor's eyes and saw sadness in them.

 _I need you_ , he said. _We have to go and I need you_. Rose nodded. His eyes traced her face.

"I'm alright," she assured him "I'm alright." He nodded, reluctantly letting her go. He rushed over to the console.

"Alright, everyone." He began pressing buttons, his fingers swiftly tapping away.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked, sounding a little dazed.

"Sending the planets back to where they belong," the Doctor told her. He pulled a couple of levers. "And taking us away from an exploding Dalek ship."

"What about Davros?" Sarah Jane asked carefully. "Is he gone for good this time?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," the Doctor replied evenly without taking his eyes of the controls.

"They're all dead?" Martha asked. The Doctor grabbed the screen and pushed it over so they could see. The picture showed the Crucible exploding.

"All dead," the Doctor confirmed, his voice tight. "The universe is safe." Rose got the feeling that something had happened. Something more. Something the rest of them didn't know about. The Doctor pulled the screen back, his eyes flickering up to it every now and then. "Oh, what now!" he exclaimed in frustration.

"What is it?" Jack asked immediately, probably fearing the worst already.

"The Earth, I can't send it back like the others," the Doctor explained. Her ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. "We're gonna have to tow it," he said. Everyone just stared at him.

"Tow it?" Sarah Jane asked incredulously.

"Jack, I'm gonna need to talk to your people," the Doctor said. He pressed a couple of buttons. "Torchwood, Cardiff, come in!"he called. The screen flickered and the man and woman that had been with Jack before appeared on the screen.

"Reading you loud and clear," the woman said.

"Well now, I need you too open up the rift manipulator and send all its power to the TARDIS," the Doctor explained.

"You don't happen to have Jack about do you?" the woman asked.

"Oh, he's here," the Doctor confirmed. "Can't seem to get rid of him." Both the man and the woman smiled at this.

"Doing it now," the woman said.

"Alright!" The Doctor pressed another set of buttons. "Sarah Jane, what was your son's name?" the Doctor asked her. A big smile spread over Sarah Jane's face.

"Luke," she said. "He's called Luke and the computer's name is Mr. Smith."

"Ok, calling Luke and Mr. Smith!" The picture flickered again and an image of a young boy replaced the one of Torchwood. Sarah Jane came running around to stand next to the Doctor, waving happily at her son. "Luke I need you to tell Mr. Smith to loop the energy of the time rift around the TARDIS. Like a tow line," the Doctor explained.

"For this I would need the TARDIS base-code," the polite, artificial voice of Mr. Smith came as a reply.

"Oh, the base-code," the Doctor moaned, rubbing at his head. "That could take a while."

"I think I know who can help with that!" Sarah Jane exclaimed happily. "K-9," she called.

"Here, Mistress," the robot-dog replied. "Give Mr. Smith the base-code," she told him.

"Right away, Mistress," the dog replied, immediately complying.

"Ok, now, everyone!" the Doctor called out. "Those of you who complain about my driving..." The Doctor glanced at Donna and Martha. "This is the reason the TARDIS is always shaking about." He directed Sarah Jane to a spot at the console. "Sarah, if you could hold this down," he told her, pointing at a lever. "It's because a TARDIS is supposed to be piloted by six people and I have to do it alone." He ran around clasping Martha's hand and pulling her to another section of the console. "Just hold this steady, here," he told her. Martha smiled at him. "Donna!" the Doctor called as he got to her. "You up for this?" he asked. Donna gave him a smile, pulling at the bandages Martha had placed on her face.

"I'm up for anything," she said. The Doctor smiled back at her.

"Right over here then, if you please Miss Noble." Donna took up her position at the console.

"Jack!" the Doctor called. "Steady this, right here." Jack hurried to the section the Doctor indicated.

"Rose!"

"Right here," Rose said, from right behind him. The Doctor twirled around, his eyes immediately finding hers.

"Rose Tyler," he said, a hint of reverence in the way he said her name.

"Doctor."

"Care to fly the whole of the Earth home with me using a blue police box?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she said and she smiled. Smiled that way of hers that had the power to light up a whole room, her tongue peaking out playfully between her teeth and her eyes sparkling with joy. No one in the whole of the universe smiled like Rose Tyler.

The Doctor led her over to the console, giving her quick instructions on what to do. Then he took up his own place next to her.

"Allons-y!" he called and pulled a lever. The TARDIS shook as she set out to tow the Earth back home. The ship rumbled but stayed a lot steadied than anyone around that console was used to and as the Doctor looked around the room, seeing all his friends with him. Flying the TARDIS as she was mean to be flown. Laughing with the joy of victory. their eyes bright and shining with sheer happiness. Right then he remembered Rose telling him that he wasn't alone. Even if she was gone, he was not alone. And in that moment he could almost believe it.

He glanced over at her next to him. Immediately she turned her head, as though she'd felt his eyes on her. He knew there was pride and wonder in the look he gave her. They'd all been so brave, so magnificent. They'd all done more than he could ever ask, and no one more than her. She was his light through any darkness. The mere thought of her was enough to warm his very soul. Her memory would to, he told himself. It would.

The TARDIS shook and gave a hum and the Doctor looked at the screen, seeing the Earth sliding into place where it should be, the moon circling around it. The room erupted with joy, everyone laughing and hugging each other. They'd done the impossible. They'd defeated an entire Dalek fleet and they'd survived. Almost everyone. The Doctor glanced at Rose. Though everyone else was alight with happiness, her eyes were sad, locked on the shape of Mickey lying on the floor. The Doctor reached out and clasped her hand. Immediately he got a wave of the sorrow she felt across the bond. If only he'd moved faster, thought quicker, done anything. Rose squeezed his hand in turn.

 _Not your fault_ , he heard her whisper in his mind. He gave her a small smile and she smiled in return.

Reluctantly he pulled his hand out hers. Time to get everyone home. He set the TARDIS down in a nice little park at the centre of London. Everyone filed out excitedly. As they got outside they looked up at the sky, seeing the sun shining familiarly in the blue sky. Everything was back to normal, the way it should be. Sarah Jane came up to him.

"Thank you," she said, smiling with her whole face. He smiled back, giving her a hug. But she quickly pulled away. "I have to go!' she exclaimed. "He's only fourteen!" She hurried off, turning back, still smiling. "It's a long story," she said, waving goodbye.

Jack and Martha came up to the Doctor and Rose. Martha looked a little uncomfortable as she faced her.

"I'm sorry," Martha said. "About Mickey. He was... he was a good man. Great even. He saved my life. Twice." Rose nodded.

"That was Mickey," she said, smiling sadly and for a moment she got a dreamy sort of look in her eyes.

"Well, you two," Jack said. "Keep out of trouble and don't do anything I wouldn't do." Rose broke into a surprised little laugh, quickly stifling it with the sleeve of her sweater.

"That doesn't exclude much," she told Jack. He smiled at them and gave a proper salute, Martha following suit. The Doctor and Rose both responded with a discreet two fingered one. Jack turned to Donna.

"It's been a pleasure Miss Noble," he said.

"I wouldn't mind a salute," Donna said. Jack smiled and gave her one without hesitation. Donna smiled back. "I could get used to this," Donna remarked.

"Any time," Jack said and gave her a flirtatious wink.

"Oh, stop it," the Doctor told Jack.

"You, don't get to say that anymore," Jack told him, pointing a finger at him. "Not with you two constantly looking at each other as though you can't wait to tear each others clothes off," Jack said, indicating the Doctor and Rose.

"Ahem." The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing at his neck.

"You're just jealous," Rose told Jack with a smile.

"Too true," Jack admitted. He smiled at both of them and clasped Martha's hand.

"Bye." Martha gave them a little wave as Jack turned away and pulled her along.

The Doctor, Donna and Rose watched them go. For a moment there was this strange sort of gap between Martha and Jack as though a third person was supposed to fit there. Then Jack turned around, locking eyes with the Doctor.

"I know that look," he called back. "You are going to do something stupid that you think is right. Don't do it," he said and turned back around, walking off with Martha, telling her something about the benefits of working at Torchwood instead of Unit.

"I should be going too," Donna said.

"Are you going to be ok?" Rose asked her, indicating her bandaged face.

"Oh, hang on, I got something for that," the Doctor said and disappeared inside the TARDIS. He came back moments later, a small container in his hand. He handed it to Donna. "Here," he said. "Once in the morning and once in the evening for a week." Donna took the jar from him and unscrewed the lock. She sniffed the yellowish salve and sneezed. "Careful, it's strong stuff," the Doctor told her.

"Uhu," Donna agreed, screwing the lock back on.

"But trust me, you wont even have a scar," he ensured her.

"Thanks." She gave the Doctor a smile. "Well I best be off. My mum and grandad must be going mental," she said.

"Can you make your way from here?" Rose asked. "I'm sure we can...-"

"No," Donna interrupted her. "With his driving I'll never get there," she said, nodding hear head towards the Doctor.

"Oi," the Doctor noted, affronted. Donna gave Rose a hug.

"You gonna be alright?" she asked her. Rose nodded.

"Always," she said. They pulled apart.

"Well you two," Donna said to the Doctor and Rose. "Like Jack said, don't do anything I wouldn't do." Both Rose and the Doctor smiled at her before Donna turned and walked away, fishing her mobile out her pocket as she went.

Rose leaned closer to the Doctor.

"What did Jack mean?" she asked. The Doctor unfolded his arms that he'd crossed over his chest.

"Nothing," he said. "Come on." He fought the urge to take her hand and pull her with him. If he touched her now he might never be able to let her go.

Rose followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

"One last trip," he said and flipped a switch, bringing the TARDIS to life. Rose looked around the room. That familiar, wonderful room and got the strangest feeling that this might be the last time she saw it.

"One last trip," she said, echoing the Doctor's words back to him.

"Yep," he confirmed, his eyes on the controls, not looking at her.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Rose asked. It took a long time for him to answer.

"I'm taking you both home," he finally said, sadly. "The walls are closing again. We don't have much time."

"Both of us," Rose said. It wasn't quite a question.

"I've sent a message ahead. Your family should be waiting for you."

"Waiting for me," she said, realising she was repeating whatever he said. Probably in some daft attempt to get him to grasp just what it was he was saying.

"Yes."

The TARDIS shook and Rose grasped the railing next her. She was staring at the Doctor so intently it felt like she was practically drilling a hole into his skull and he was acting as though he barely noticed she was there at all.

"You are leaving me behind again," she said. "Aren't you?" The Doctor stopped what he was doing, clasping the edge of the console. He squeezed the metal between his hands so hard Rose suspected he thought he could actually bend it.

"I'm not leaving you," he said. "I would never leave you. I can't leave you."

"Then what are you doing?" Rose asked him. Again it took a while before he answered.

"I'm taking you to your family. I'm keeping my promises to your mother. I am getting the body of your dead friend home so he can be buried properly." The Doctor's words were strained and hard, like it took him great effort to speak them. His head fell forwards, clearly he'd lost the strength to hold it up.

"This is what Jack was talking about isn't it?" Rose asked, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. "This is the stupid thing you planned on doing."

The Doctor pushed away from the console roughly, straightening and glaring at her.

"I'm trying to do the right thing," he said.

"The right thing?"

"Yes!"

"Bullshit!" The Doctor looked taken aback for a moment at her harsh tone.

"What then Rose?" he asked her. "Do you want to stay with me? Is that what you want?" He took a step towards her. "It will be forever this time. You will never be able to see your mother again or your brother or Pete."

"What does it matter?" Rose asked in frustration. "You said we can't be in separate universes anyway!"

"I said I don't know," the Doctor refuted. "That I couldn't risk it."

"And now suddenly you can?" Rose asked back in disbelief.

"It beats the alternative."

"The alternative?" Rose took a step back. "What, being stuck with me?"

"What? No!" The Doctor ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair. "You hating me."

"Why would I hate you now?'

"For trapping you here with me. For taking you away from your family. For not doing what you wanted."

"You never bothered to ask me what I wanted!" Rose pointed out, throwing her hands up in a show exasperation. "You always do this," Rose said. "You always make my choices for me. You don't always know what's best, Doctor," Rose growled at him, pointing her finger at him for further emphasis.

"Fine," the Doctor said, leaning back against the console and folding his arms across his chest. "Tell me then, Rose. Tell me what you want."

Rose growled in frustration, running her fingers through her blonde hair to get it out of her face.

"I want..." she began but fell silent. "I want to be able to love you without fearing it will somehow tear the world apart! I want Mickey to be alive! I want to be able to see my family whenever I want." Rose didn't even notice as tears began running down her face. "I want you to be happy for once! To not have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders for just one day! I want...-" Suddenly the Doctor was in front of her. He reached out his hands towards her face as though he meant to dry her tears but halfway there he stopped and let his hands drop. Rose looked up at him. Sorrow and pain moved in his dark eyes, mirroring her own heart.

"I wish I could give you all those things," he said. "You don't know how much I wish I could. But I can't Rose. I never could." He shook his head sadly and turned away from her.

"So you're going to drop me off at a parallel universe and just hope for the best!?" Rose asked in frustration.

"Yes," he said calmly. "You'll have your family, your world. I don't deserve you. I never did."

"Ok, so that's what we're doing now then is it?" Rose asked him angrily. "Wallowing in self-pity?"

"This is not self-pity!" the Doctor cried out hopelessly as he twirled back towards her. "I'm...-" He got interrupted as there was a knock on the door.

"Rose?" They heard Jackie's voice, accompanied by another knock. "Rose, are you in there?"

"Are we here already?" Rose asked. The Doctor didn't answer only nodded. Rose turned away from him, moving towards the doors. She pulled one opened and there was her mum. Her mum, alive and wonderful and standing right in front of her. Rose hadn't realised how much she missed her until that moment.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Jackie asked, and Rose realised there were still streaks of tears down her cheeks. Rose threw herself into her mother's arms. There were few things in the world that could measure up to hug from your mum.

Jackie rocked Rose back and forth, brushing her hand soothingly up and down her back. "It's ok, sweetheart," she tried to assure her. "It's ok." Rose hugged her mother as though it had been years since she'd seen her. Because that is exactly what it felt like. Rose looked up and saw Pete, standing by his jeep on the beach. She recognised the beach immediately. Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Bad Wolf Bey. It would be here, Rose thought. If he was going to leave her again, it would be here.

Rose forced herself to let her mother go. The wind caught a hold of Rose's hair, blowing it across her face. Jackie brushed it away.

"What happened, sweetheart?" she asked. Rose felt her throat closing off. How did she even begin to tell her. How did she...

"Mickey," Rose said, suddenly unable to breath.

"What about him? Jackie asked.

"Mickey, he's..." Rose struggled to form the words. "Mickey's..." Fresh tears began running down her face. Oh my god, she thought. He really was gone. Mickey was gone. Then the Doctor appeared behind her, carrying Mickey's body over his shoulder.

"Mickey's dead," the Doctor told Jackie, walking past the two women. Jackie simply stared after him as he walked over to Pete and the jeep. The two of them exchanged a few words and than Pete helped the Doctor get Mickey's body inside the car. Jackie turned back to Rose, disbelief on her face. Rose nodded, unable to stop her tears. Tears for Mickey and tears for everything that had happened. Tears for what was still to come.

"He's gone, mum," she cried. "Mickey's gone."

Jackie's face twisted in sorrow and tears spilled over and down her own cheeks. Mother and daughter embraced again, clinging to each other for support.

"I'm sorry," Rose heard the Doctor's voice next to them. "I have to go." Rose reluctantly pulled free from her mother.

"Well, goodbye then, Doctor," Jackie said, her voice a touch unkind.

"He died a hero," the Doctor said. "He died saving the world."

"That doesn't make him any less dead though, does it," Jackie told the Doctor without looking at him. Rose suspected that if she did, her mum wouldn't be able to fight the urge to slap him. And even through her grief some part of her still recognised that fact that the Doctor did not deserve that.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said again and disappeared inside the TARDIS.

"Come on Rose, let's go home," Jackie said. Rose took a step back, away from her mother.

"Mum, I can't," Rose said sadly. Jackie shook her head, her eyes on the sand at her feet.

"I thought you might not," she said. "Will you ever be able to come back?" Jackie asked. Rose shook her head.

"I can't," Rose said. "It's dangerous, just being near him. I know it is," Rose explained. "Being with him might just rip the universe apart. But I also know that I'll die without him. I love him, mum," she said. "I love him with everything I am and if I stayed here. All that would turn to pain. Not the kind of pain you eventually learn to live with. The kind of pain you make room for. But the kind that tears you apart until there is nothing left." Rose took a deep breath. "You don't need me anymore. You have Pete and Tony."

"Don't think that anyone could ever replace you, Rose," Jackie said, tears getting caught in her throat. "Your home is still with your family." Rose reached out her hand to her mother.

"Everyone leaves home in the end," Rose said sadly.

After a long while Jackie nodded.

"Go then," she said. "Go, before I tie to the bloody car to keep you here." Rose leaned down and kissed her mother's cheek.

"Bye," she said and turned around. A part of her somehow expected the TARDIS to be gone but it was still there. Could it be possible that the Doctor was actually waiting for her to make a choice and not making one for her?

Rose opened the TARDIS door and stepped inside. The Doctor looked up from the console. He swallowed hard.

"You're sure then?" he asked. Rose nodded.

"I'm sure," she said. The Doctor flipped switches, the TARDIS humming to life. Rose felt as though she was leaving a piece of herself behind. A piece with Mickey, the boy she'd once loved. A piece with her mother, who'd been the most wonderful mum she could ever ask for. The baby brother she barely got to know. Even Pete, who might have been a better father than her own ever would have managed.

Rose looked up and the Doctor watched as light flickered to life beneath her skin, endless tears streaming down her face.

"Doctor," she breathed, horrible sorrow and pain in her eyes. The pain of impossible choices and the sorrow of indescribable loss. His hearts broke as he watched her. "Doctor, I can't..." He rushed over to her without thinking, catching her as she fell. The Doctor sank with Rose to the floor. He gathered her up against him, holding her tight as she cried.

 _I got you_ , he whispered across the bond. _I'll always be here catch you, Rose. Always_.


	25. Chapter 25 - Until time ends (end part1)

Chapter 25 - Until time ends

Rose awoke with a jerk. It took her a moment to ascertain her whereabouts. At first she thought she was at home, in her room, in her bed. Perhaps it had all been a bad dream. But then she remembered she would never be home again. Never see her family again. It hadn't been a dream. It had all been real. Rose curled in on herself, hugging her hands to her chest because she had nothing near her to hold. As she did, she noticed the bandage on her shoulder and recalled that she'd injured it in the fight. The fight in which Mickey had not survived.

"Shhh," a soft voice whispered in her ear. The Doctor. He must have bandaged her shoulder after she had most likely cried herself to exhaustion. Rose glanced around, noticing that she was in her room. Just not the room in that parallel world, in her father's house. But her room in the TARDIS. She felt the Doctor's lips brush gently by her temple. New tears spilled down her cheeks. "Rose," he said so softly it was nothing but a whisper. "What can I do? Please tell me. I'll do anything."

She turned around on the bed, towards him, careful with her shoulder. He straightened as she did. He'd been sitting, leaning his back against the headboard, his long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles.

"Just..." Rose drew in a shaky breath. She tried fruitlessly to dry away her tears. "I can't seem to stop crying," she blurted out. "I'm sorry." The Doctor shifted down on the bed, lying down next to her and immediately pulled her into his arms.

"Don't be sorry," he said. "Never be sorry for being sad, Rose. Especially not for loosing people you love. Being sad over loosing someone means they mattered." Rose clutched her arms around him, her tears dampening his suit. He ran his hand soothingly up and down her back. She could feel him at the edge of her mind. Not intruding, just kind of being there. But it wasn't enough. She wanted him closer. Needed him closer.

The Doctor pulled away so he could look into her eyes. Rose had a fleeting thought that she must look dreadful. Eyes puffy from all the crying, her hair on end, makeup most likely smeared everywhere. The Doctor brushed his thumb lightly across her cheekbone, sending a tingle over her skin that ran like a pleasant little shiver down her spine.

"You are beautiful," he said, solemnly. "You're always beautiful." And when he looked at her like that, like everything began and ended with her, like the day to the sun she couldn't not believe him. He drew closer to her, a careful question in his eyes. She didn't stop him or pull away. She needed him now, more than ever.

Rose's eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed against hers. Immediately the bond flared to life, blazing with the power of starfire. It was like an explosion of electricity in Rose's mind, pulsing through her blood. The Doctor's arms moved around her, pulling her into him as his lips coaxed hers to part. It was dizzying, blissful and all consuming. Rose moved her hands up and let them play with the hair at the nape of his neck. The Doctor deepened the kiss slowly, agonisingly slowly. Enough to drive her mad. She moaned a little against his lips and he rolled her gently over, trapping her beneath him.

Rose kissed him as her mind twined recklessly with his. She felt him. Utterly and completely. The reverence in every touch, the love he bore that both elated and scared him. She had no walls up to guard against him. She knew he could feel her too. But she didn't mind it. Didn't fear it as much as she had, even though she still knew it was dangerous.

The more he touched her the more of the world fell away. It was so easy to get lost. And she wanted to get lost. She wanted to feel this. Only this. Not the loss of Mickey or the separation from her family. All the wanted right now was to feel him. So she let the hold she had on him tighten, the kiss deepen into something more. A spark fired off across the bond. The Doctor pushed her harder into the mattress, his arms tightening around her, holding her so fiercely she thought he might never let go. His mouth slanted over hers, euphoria singing in her veins. It was almost too much. Rose broke free from the kiss, gasping for air. The Doctor trailed kisses down her neck, the brush of his lips causing every cell in her body to light up with sensations both familiar and new.

She could feel those golden strings she imagined between them, weaving together, intricately. Soon they would be impossible to pull apart.

 _Rose_ , she heard a whisper across the bond. The sound of her name from his mind was filled with awe and need and a terrible yearning. His lips found hers again. All sense of control was slipping to the point where Rose didn't even care. She didn't care what this would do, what it might mean. She just knew she never wanted it to end. Feeling him like this was like a high. The greatest high she'd ever known.

"Rose..." the Doctor mumbled against her lips, clearly not quite capable of stopping long enough to even utter her name properly. They were swiftly moving towards the point where there was no turning back. "Rose," he tried again. He clearly wanted to say something. But for him to do that he would have to stop kissing her and at the moment he didn't seem overly inclined to do so. His hand was running down her waist, his fingers just brushing against the bare skin between her jeans and her sweater. Her skin tingled at the contact and every fibre of her being yearned to tie herself to him. The same as she'd felt from the Doctor, Rose realised. That desperate need to get closer, to solidify. To bind them together irrevocably.

He'd called it an instinct. An instinct edged into his kind over millions of years. Then a thousand years spent repressing that instinct. But there was no repressing it now. Far too late for that.

"Rose," he tried again. "We have to stop," he managed to get out. Stop? Rose wasn't sure she even understood the meaning of the word. She wasn't entirely sure he did either because he made no move to heed it. His hand was moving up beneath her shirt and hers were fumbling at the buttons on his suit. "Rose, I just need a little help here," he pleaded.

He finally managed to tear his lips from hers. Rose immediately clasped her fingers around his tie, trying to pull him back. He groaned as he tried to resist her pull. "You are not making this easy," he ground out. She kissed the edge of his jaw, feeling his pulse jump against her lips. "Rose," this time it was nothing more than a breathless whisper. Whatever control he'd managed to regain it was slipping again. She was sure she could make him forget all of time and space if she tried hard enough. "Oh, you don't even have to try to do that," he answered her thoughts.

Rose was kissing her way down his neck, her hands making swift work of his tie, not really paying attention to anything he was saying. Until those alien words drifted from him across the bond. Those beautiful words that seemed to wrap themselves around her mind. It was the words he'd spoken before. The ones she still didn't understand.

"Will you ever tell me what they mean?" she asked, starting to pull his tie away, not really expecting him to answer. Suddenly his hands were there stopping her. He twined his fingers with hers.

"I love you," he said. "It means, I love you."

Rose stopped. She pulled away enough to look into his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that were now alight with the words he'd spoken. "Only your inadequate language don't have the scope to describe their meaning." There was a hint of genuine frustration in his voice. The Doctor reached out and brushed his fingers gently against her cheek, clearly determined to try all the same. "It means I love you through all of time and space and matter. Beyond burning suns and dying stars. Through darkness and chaos." He was looking at her as though he would like nothing more than to kiss her until they were both struggling for breath. But he wasn't. Because Rose realised he needed to say this. He needed to know she understood. "It means you hold my soul in the palm of your hand," he said. "...and I know no place where it is safer. It means I belong to you, Rose. Until time ends, I belong to you."

The Doctor watched her and all she could do was stare at him. "I told you, you don't have the words to explain it," he said, shaking his head in defeat. Rose reached out her hand to his face and turned it back to hers.

"Doctor..." She had nothing to say. Nothing at all. Nothing that could compare. So she leaned in and kissed him instead, letting the bond do the talking for her. When they were this close there wasn't anything she could really hide from him. He would know without a shadow of a doubt that every word he'd spoken resonated within her, echoed every beat of her heart. In this there were no lies. Whatever happened this would never change, never get lost or stay buried. Their relationship was marred and complicated and even dangerous. They should with near certainty not be together. Together they were fire and lightning and passion and pain. But that would never stop her loving him. Time could break down and the world could burn to ashes and it would change nothing.

Nothing in her heart.

Because her heart belonged to him.

Only him.

It always would.

/

 **This marks the end of part one. As you may have noticed there are a lot of questions still unanswered, especially about the bond and what it really means. It was never meant to all be explained in this story. There was simply not enough space. So, the Doctor and Rose will return. Soon**.


	26. Chapter 26 - Gravity

\- PART TWO -

Chapter 26 - Gravity

Rose's heals made a pleasant tip-tap sound against the floor as she made her way through the TARDIS. The satin of the dress she wore whisked about her legs as she walked. The dress was a bit shorter in the front and longer in the back. Her first thought when she'd put it on had been that this made it ideal for running. Then she'd shaken her head and smiled at herself, amused that it had been her first thought. She picked up her pace, cool air brushing past her bare skin. Practically the whole back of the dress was bare, delicate gold lace along its edges. It had an antique feel to it. Old, exquisite and expensive.

Rose hurried up the steps and into the control room. Her blonde curls arranged at the back with about a thousand hairpins made her head feel heavy as she moved. The Doctor was standing, leaning his hip against the console, fiddling with something he was holding in his hand. He was dressed in his black tux and even his Converse sneakers were black for the occasion. His hair was still an unruly, gravity defying mess and he was absolutely gorgeous. James Bond had nothing on the Doctor when he decided to dress up.

The Doctor looked over as she entered the room and his whole face lit up as he saw her. He straightened and tossed whatever it was he'd held behind him. Couldn't have been anything overly important then, Rose thought. He straightened his jacket and made some futile attempt to flatten his hair. Rose walked over to him. She smiled and straightened his bowtie.

"You look..." he began, his voice filled with awe. "Beautiful," he finished. "You look beautiful. Rose, I can't even..."

"You don't look too bad yourself," she interrupted his stuttering. He glanced down. But his eyes quickly returned to hers.

"I changed my suit," he said.

Rose's smile widened. "Yeah, I noticed." He smiled back at her. His eyes ran over the planes of her face and the painstakingly created curls of her hair.

He mumbled something she did not catch.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Gravity," the Doctor repeated. "You're like gravity."

"Uhm... not sure if that's a compliment," Rose said, frowning. The Doctor reached out his hand and ran the tip of his fingers down the side of her face. The touch was featherlight. She could barely feel it at all. But she felt it on the inside. It was like every molecule in her body gave off a sudden spark.

"It's a fact," the Doctor was saying. "A beautiful, terrifying fact." Rose looked up at him, his fingers lingering on her skin. She didn't think she'd ever get used to it. That spark that ignited whenever they touched. The Doctor was right. It was beautiful and wonderful. But it also too swiftly became all consuming and that could be dangerous.

"Was there a reason we got all dressed up then?" Rose asked him, her voice a little breathless.

"Right," the Doctor exclaimed. "Right!" As he stepped back Rose could practically feel the strings tying them together stretching and finally snapping. It was like pulling free of a forcefield. Like fighting gravity.

The Doctor left her and ran around the console, flipping switches, the TARDIS humming to life. He had come to find her earlier, wondering if she fancied a party. But not any kind a party. A new years eve party. New year, new century. Rose could definitely use a bit of fun. The last few months had not been easy. Grieving the losses she suffered, dealing with the realities she now faced. The Doctor had been there for her as much as he could. Distracting her when she needed distractions and comforting her when she needed comfort.

"Temporal shift stabiliser!" he called to her. Rose kicked of her shoes and hurried over to the console, pulling the lever for the stabilisers. One of the distractions had been trying to teach her how to fly the TARDIS. The Doctor smiled at her from the other side of the console. "I really should have taught you this ages ago," he said.

"Things got in the way," Rose reminded him. "Nurse- cat- things and werewolf's and devils."

"And we beat them all!" the Doctor declared, flipping a switch with a theatrical flourish. Rose laughed at him and he came running over to her side.

"Your turn to steer," he said and gave her a nudge with his shoulder. Rose ran around the console and took the position he'd just held.

Steering the TARDIS was far from easy. Rose had a whole new understanding for why traveling in it was always so bumpy. It really had been a lot smoother when everyone had been there after the fall of the Dalek Crucible. Sometimes she wondered what they were all doing now. Not just her family but their friends too. She hoped they were happy.

Rose grabbed a hold of the console as the ship hurled through space.

"Put her down!" the Doctor yelled at Rose, holding on for dear life.

"I'm no good at landing! You know that!" Rose yelled back at him.

"Just don't crash us in the Cretaceous period again!" the Doctor told her. Rose clung to the console as she tried her outmost to land the ship. Without crashing amongst dinosaurs that wanted to eat them this time. There was a bit of a jolt as they hit ground. But both Rose and the Doctor managed to stay on their feet. Rose pulled the monitor over so she could check where they were. The Doctor was standing with his eyes squeezed firmly shut. "Ok, tell me, where are we?" he asked. "Are there things that want to eat us?"

"Mmm, planet called Lachrymose," Rose said. "51st century...9 pm?" The Doctor hurried over to her side. He looked at the screen.

"Well, would you look at that!" he exclaimed with delight. He turned to her. "You are brilliant you are," he said, smiling broadly.

"Aren't I though," Rose said, her tongue peaking out playfully between her teeth as she smiled back at him.

"Allons-y," the Doctor said with a wink and rushed over to the doors while Rose got her shoes. She pulled them on and hurried over to him. The Doctor held out his hand for her.

"Rose Tyler, would you care to accompany me to the grandest party of the century?" He asked with a crocked smile. Rose took his hand and felt the pleasant tingle run over her skin at the contact.

"Why, Doctor, I thought you'd never ask," Rose said. She laughed as he pulled her with him out of the TARDIS.

She'd managed to land them in an alley. The Doctor had set the coordinates so all she had to do was aim, really. Not that it made it all that much easier. They hurried out of the alley.

"Well, if this isn't a party, Rose, I don't know what is," the Doctor said as they emerged.

Before them was a big square, surely as large as a football field and completely packed with people. Lights and flags hung like canopies above them. From the point where Rose and the Doctor stood the square was divided into sections. Stairs leading down to each section, balconies separating them. At the lowest level in the centre of the square was a huge fountain, the water spray probably reaching twenty feet into the air.

Most women seemed dressed in wonderful sparkling gowns but nearly every male was dressed in evening attire much like the Doctor. There weren't just humans either. There were people with blue skin. Others with an almost bird-like appearance. Rose swore she saw a couple with horns. Not like devil horns but like ram horns. There was some twenties inspired music playing and a lot of people were dancing. The skyscrapers around the square were so tall they nearly blocked out the night sky. Rose thought she could hear the distant sound of thunder. Rose's smile widened as she looked out over the elaborate party. Then something caught her eye.

"Was that...?" she trailed off. One minute it had been there and the next it had been gone.

"What?" the Doctor asked her.

"I dunno," Rose said. "I thought I saw an Ood."

"An Ood?"

"Yeah, but you said you freed them all, right?"

The Doctor had told her about going to the Ood's homeworld when she had one of her bad days and had just laid curled up in bed. Of course if she'd known he was out galavanting about and getting himself into trouble she would have gone with him. But he hadn't let her know until afterwards. He'd told her about finding the Ood forcibly enslaved and how he'd freed them. How he felt he'd owed them after failing to save the others.

Rose remembered the Ood from that impossible planet orbiting the black hole. She remembered how wrong she'd thought it when she learned they were all born slaves. But the Doctor had found a way to set it right in the end. But if they were free. What would one of them have been doing here?

"You sure it was an Ood?" the Doctor asked, a strange note to his tone. Rose shook her shoulders. Maybe she'd been mistaken.

"I probably saw something else," Rose said with a shrug. She didn't notice the frown on the Doctor's forehead as his eyes searched the crowds for a moment. "Well, then!" Rose exclaimed with excitement. "New century. Time to start celebrating."

"Suppose you're right," the Doctor agreed, distractedly.

"Oh, come on," Rose said, linking her arm through his and pulling him with her into the throng of people.

"Do you have a destination in mind at all?" the Doctor asked as they navigated through the crowds. Everyone around them were laughing and chatting. The atmosphere was infectious.

"I do," Rose confirmed. They passed a group of men, impeccably dressed, with sparkling champagne glasses in their hands. Their gazes grew hooded as they passed by and the Doctor leaned down towards Rose.

"Maybe you shouldn't have worn that dress," he whispered with a smile in his voice. The dress was probably the most beautiful thing she had ever worn. Delicate gold lace over pristine white satin, intricate beading that caught the light and made the whole dress seem to sparkle. "I'm afraid one of these blokes are going to attempt to steal you away from me," the Doctor said, eying the men around them with newfound suspicion.

"I'd like to see them try," Rose said. "Besides, I doubt that a woman exists that can resist you in that tux."

"Oh, yeah?" the Doctor asked. Rose smiled, stopping and turning towards him. There was a hint of surprise in his eyes.

"You know you're bloody gorgeous," Rose told him. She took his right hand and placed it at her waist. The Doctor was smiling impishly down at her. Like a little boy given praise.

"Is it the hair?" he asked. Rose couldn't help but laugh at this. She shook her head.

"No," she said in a matter of fact voice. "It's the mole." She put her left hand on his shoulder and clasped his other hand in hers. "Definitely the mole." Rose was struggling really hard not to laugh.

"You can't see the mole," the Doctor pointed out. Rose looked up at him through her lashes, a smile curving her lips.

"Oh, but I know it's there," she said, her smile slowly widening.

"Rose Tyler, are you flirting with me?" the Doctor asked, clearly unable to keep from smiling back at her. Rose laughed.

"So perceptive, Doctor."

"Weell, I have my moments."

"Now, you'll find your feet at the end of your legs. You may care to move them," Rose pointed out, using words she'd used before when he'd been different and everything had been new.

The Doctor glanced down at his feet and then up again. Realisation dawned on his face. They were on the dance-floor, waltz position and everything and they were the only ones not dancing.

"I promise the world will not end," Rose told him.

"Well, it didn't last time," the Doctor agreed reluctantly.

"You do remember how to do this, right?" Rose asked. The Doctor smiled.

"Let's find out," he said.

The Doctor's hand tightened around Rose's waist and he pulled her into the dance. And boy, could he dance. They moved smoothly across the dance floor, easily navigating between the other couples. Following him was effortless. He spun her around, her dress twirling out with her, the gold lace catching the sparkling lights overhead. The dress was made for dancing.

"Not too bad, eh?" the Doctor smiled down at her. Rose laughed.

"Not bad at all," she said. She let him twirl her around on the dance-floor enjoying every blissful moment of it. For once they were just two people dancing. Not the last of the Time Lords. Not a girl plucked out of time. Not Bad Wolf. Just two people dancing. The most normal, ordinary thing in the world. So of course it couldn't last.

The music abruptly ended. Screams of shock and fear rang across the square. The Doctor pulled Rose to a sudden halt. Both of them twirled around looking for the source of the commotion. On the other side of the square she could see a troupe of Judoon. They were already fanning out, cutting off exits.

"What was that you were saying about the world not ending?" the Doctor told Rose.

"What? It's just those rhino-things," Rose said. "You said they were police."

"Judoon," the Doctor corrected. "Yeah, and last time we met them they tried to lock you up. Remember?"

"Well there is no way they're here for me," Rose said. "They can't have known we'd be here."

"Doctor!" The lead Judoon called out in its dark authoritative voice.

"Oh, you are bloody kidding me," Rose said in disbelief. The Doctor clasped her hand.

"No more dancing," he said and pulled her with him.

"It's not the dancing," Rose told him. "It's your damn tux. Something bad always happens when you wear that thing."

"I thought you liked it."

"What? You in the tux or bad things happening?" The Doctor glanced back at her over his shoulder a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Well, a bit of both," he said.

Rose found herself smiling back in despite of herself. "You are impossible," she told him as they scurried between the worried revellers. Everyone's eyes were on the Judoon. No one was paying attention to the Doctor and Rose. The Judoon were quickly cutting off more exits. They had to hurry.

"Doctor!" the Judoon called out again. "You will relinquish Rose Tyler."

"I will not," the Doctor muttered, his hand instinctively tightening around Rose's.

"What do they want with me?" Rose asked him in a hushed tone.

"Don't know," the Doctor replied. "But I am not sticking around to find out."

"We have a warrant for the arrest of Rose Tyler!" the Judoon called out. The Doctor and Rose skirted around a group of people that looked more annoyed than worried.

"I'll show you how much I care about your stupid warrants," the Doctor muttered.

Someone called out behind them.

"Hey! What are you two doing? Are you trying to get away?!" Rose and the Doctor didn't bother to look back to see who was shouting at them. They just picked up the pace. "Hey!" the man called out, louder this time. "They're trying to run! Over here!" he called to the Judoon. Rose saw two Judoon already heading their way, jogging down the stairs and cutting across the square. She knew the minute they spotted them.

"Over there." One of the Judoon pointed straight at them.

"Run!"

The Doctor and Rose took off and the Judoon took off after them.

"Halt!" they shouted. Neither Rose nor the Doctor headed them. They ran through the crowds, forced to push some people out of the way. Four Judoon came hurrying towards them, blocking of the exit they'd been heading for. The Doctor and Rose skidded to a stop. They twirled around. More Judoon were coming towards them from behind.

"This way!" The Doctor pulled her with him down the stairs just as a gun-blast sang past just above their heads.

Suddenly there was chaos. People screamed and threw themselves out of the way. The Judoon fired again. The Doctor and Rose both ducked their heads, hoping to avoid the blasts. Sparks rained down from above as lights got hit instead. The Doctor's hand tightened around hers, urging her to go faster. They ran down more stairs until they got to the centre and the big fountain. Judoon were closing in around them, weapons raised.

"Surrender!" they insisted.

"Come on," the Doctor said and jumped up onto the edge of the fountain. He pulled Rose up next to him. Round polished stones were placed out in the water. The Doctor jumped onto the first one and the swiftly on to the next. Rose looked down at her high-heeled shoes and made a split second decision. She reached down and pulled them off, tossing them to a woman in an elaborate purple dress. She surprisingly caught them.

"Happy new year," Rose told the woman and with a cheeky smile she jumped barefoot onto the first stone, following swiftly after the Doctor.

The Judoon split up and hurried around the enormous fountain. But the Doctor and Rose were quicker. They reached the edge and the Doctor jumped down, turning around and clasping his hands around Rose's waist. He lifted her easily off the fountain and put her down next to him. His eyes caught on her bare feet.

"What happened to your shoes?" he asked. Rose shrugged.

"I gave them away."

"What? Why would you...?"

"Duck!" Rose called out and dragged the Doctor down, just as a laser-blast blew by inches above them.

The Doctor clasped Rose's hand and ran. The Judoon were scurrying around, trying to cut them off. Rose and the Doctor dodged terrified people and more laser- blasts. What were they even thinking firing their weapons in a crowd like this? Rose knew the Doctor was trying to get them to the TARDIS but they both quickly realised there was no way for them to get back to it. They turned in another direction, nearly tipping over the buffet table. Laser- blasts whisked past them again.

The Doctor turned suddenly, pulling Rose with him into an alley. They ran flat out, turning quickly at the first intersection they reached. They zigzagged through the maze of alleyways. The sound of music and cheering reached them and they ran towards the sound. They stumbled to halt as they came out onto a street with a huge parade passing by. A big float rolled past them with an entire orchestra playing a beautiful, cheerful melody. Something like miniature fireworks sparked off along the parade. There were both dancers and acrobats tumbling past them. The Doctor pulled her into the fray. They ran straight into the parade, dodging all manner of creatures and people in elaborate costumes. They hurried into the crowds on the other side. Rose threw a glance behind her shoulder, but could not see the Judoon.

The Doctor and Rose made their way through the throng of people, most of them waving flags high in the air. They ran down another alley, crossing over another street, this one also filled with people, cheering and joyfully heralding in the new century. Rose was sure she heard thunder this time. Deep and rolling across the night. It was a big city they were in. Huge skyscrapers reached for the skies all around them. Glowing signs and lights on every corner. The whole city seemed to be alive and vibrant tonight.

The Doctor and Rose slowed their frantic pace, both glancing around. The Judoon were nowhere to be seen. Rose felt laughter bubbling out of her mouth. Adrenaline sang in her veins. The Doctor looked over at her. The worried frown quickly melted from his face and a smile lit it instead.

"Sorry," Rose said, trying to stifle her laughter. "I just haven't run like that in a long time," she said, smiling at the Doctor.

"Too long," he said. She wrapped her free hand around his arm.

"And all that because the Doctor danced," Rose said with a smile.

"Dangerous business dancing," he said, glancing down at her.

"Doctor..," she began. Thunder cracked across the sky cutting her off. Both of them stopped and glanced up. Lightning lit the night and the skies opened up, releasing a cascade of pouring rain. Everyone around them scattered in seconds.

The Doctor pulled Rose urgently with him, getting them under a roof to avoid the sudden downpour. Thunder cracked again and the rain hammered against the pavement. The signs on the buildings flickered and glowed, the light caught in the swiftly pooling water in the city streets. People were rushing under umbrellas and newspapers, some were holding up the flags they'd just moments ago been waving in the air, trying uselessly to stay dry.

Rose pulled free of the Doctor's hand, running out into the middle of the street. She threw out her arms and spun around, laughing in the downpour. The rain soaked her hair, ruining her curls and darkening its colour to an antique gold. It drenched her dress in seconds, plastering the silky material to her body. She raised her face to the heavens, closed her eyes and smiled into the impending storm. She was windswept and absolutely beautiful in the rain. The Doctor couldn't take his eyes off her.

He hurried to join her, ignoring it as the rain quickly soaked through his suit and plastered his hair to his forehead, thinking to hell with it all. The Doctor caught Rose as she spun and she laughed with delight. A smile spread across his lips. How he'd ever managed to stay more than two feet away from her was at the moment a mystery to him. Right now he couldn't seem to get close enough.

Rose ran her fingers up around his neck, playfully tugging at his wet hair. As she felt his skin against hers the bond blazed up between them like fire, untamed and wild. The Doctor bent her over his arm and her hands tightened around his neck.

 _Are you sweeping me off my feet, Doctor_? she asked playfully across the bond. The telepathy between them had quickly become as natural as breathing. Rose couldn't seem to even remember a time when she couldn't speak to him this way, couldn't feel him this way.

"I try my best." The Doctor leaned down towards her. Like gravity, he'd said. Hard to fight gravity. Impossible.

She knew they both wanted to give in to it. Longed for it. Hungered for it even. And at that moment Rose couldn't remember a single reason why they shouldn't.

For just a second there was a question in the Doctor's eyes and then his long lashes hid them from her. His lips were mere inches away from hers. Rose didn't even realise she was holding her breath. Then he closed the gap between them and ran his tongue along her bottom lip. Rose's eyelids fluttered shut. "Mmm," he sighed. _You taste like rain and magic._

Rose opened her eyes and immediately pulled him down towards her, his lips crashing against hers. She sighed into this mouth and let her tongue tangle with his. He tasted of the city at night, of running and storms.

"There they are!" Rose and the Doctor heard someone call through the night. They both froze. The Doctor pulled her back up. They looked around. A group of Judoon were making their way towards them down the street. Guess they hadn't lost them after all. The Doctor clasped Rose's hand and they ran. Water splashed around their feet as the Judoon gave chase.

Rose and the Doctor crashed though a door into a Chinese- looking restaurant. Head's swivelled in their direction.

"Sorry," they both said, nodding and bowing towards the staff, dripping water all over the floor. The Doctor pulled her through the restaurant into the kitchen. There her hand tightened around his and she yanked him towards her. They were kissing before either had finished the thought. Someone barked something angry at them that sounded Chinese. Cursing then, Rose concluded and pulled away from the Doctor. The TARDIS didn't always seem to translate curse words for some reason. Perhaps it was below her, Rose thought with a smile.

A big angry asian-looking man with a white apron stained with soya sauce came striding towards them brandishing a ladle. The Doctor pulled her away and they ran through the kitchen, dodging staff and flambés.

They stumbled through the back door and out into an alley. It was still raining. But above them hung strips of cloth in different vibrant colours, strung up between the tall buildings. It prevented some of the rain from reaching them. The Doctor spun Rose around and quickly had her trapped between him and the alley wall. Rose wrapped her arms around him and kissed him desperately, adrenaline rushing along with the electricity his touch sparked in her blood. The Doctor's hands were in her wet hair. Pins scattered and her hair spilled between his fingers. Rain ran in rivulets down Rose's back, but she wasn't cold. No part of her was cold. She was alive with heat and fire.

Every touch was ecstasy, every brush of his tongue against hers a delirium. Rose had never felt this out of control or this much alive. She found she didn't care about anything else. Not the warnings whispering in the back of her head. Warnings about playing with fire and getting burned. None of it seemed to matter. There was a ruckus from inside the restaurant and then they were running again.

They ran aimlessly through the alleys, the rain pouring down. It hit the cobblestones at their feet with such force the drops bounced back into the air, catchings streetlights like sparkles of stardust. They came out on a larger street as a big red dragon was making its way past. It's head was golden and it's body long and slim as a snake's, gold details painted all along its edges. People were dancing underneath the massive creation, holding it up and making it seem alive with their movements. Another parade. Orient inspired by the looks of it. There were people everywhere. Some hid under their umbrellas but others, like the Doctor and Rose had realised the futility of trying to escape the forces of nature. They danced and cheered in the rain. Young people, old people, kids. Aliens and humans alike.

Women in elaborate geisha- dress and white painted faces that somehow the rain seemed to have no effect on, were throwing confetti into the air as men played instruments Rose had never seen before, filling the atmosphere with beautiful foreign melodies. Lightning exploded across the sky and the hammering feet of the Judoon drummed closer behind them. The Doctor and Rose ran along the edge of the parade. They zigzagged through the crowds.

Rose dodged inside a doorway, pulling the Doctor with her. She wrapped her hand around his bowtie and pulled him against her. His lips moved hungrily against hers as the Judoon ran past without seeing them. The Judoon marched right across the street, momentarily holding up the parade and disappearing down another alley.

Rose and the Doctor tore free of each other and hurried back the way they'd come. Rose laughed as she ran with her hand in his, high on the thrill of the chase as much as the constant energy shifting between the two of them. Now there was nothing left but running with the night, letting it sweep them away.

Turning a corner they came out into a courtyard. Lights hung above them. Somewhere in the distance they could still hear thunder rolling across the night sky. Underneath the festive lights were a Chinese pavilion, its entrances hung with nearly transparent white fabric. The Doctor brushed the light material away, letting the wind and rain catch it as they stumbled into the pavilion. The Doctor captured Rose's face between his hands.

"I love you," he said, as he looked into her eyes. "I love you."

"Shut up," she told him and pressed her lips to his.

It took them less than a second to be lost, to feel nothing but each other. Every cell in Rose's body was alive with energy and adrenaline. She undid the Doctor's bowtie, unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt. She pushed the labels of his jacket apart and he let it drop to the floor. Even his shirt was soaked through with rain. She could feel every contour of his body as she ran her hands over his chest. The Doctor was kissing her until she was breathless. Never in her life had she felt this good. It was like she was weightless, suspended in midair, her body nothing more than a swirl of sensations.

That was why it took her so long to notice. Notice that something was wrong. She didn't even hear the screams at first, didn't feel the pain. What finally penetrated her blissful delirium was the Doctor screaming inside her head.

 _ROSE! STOP!_ But the Doctor wasn't the only one that was screaming. There was a woman. A woman screaming. Then the pain registered. Rose looked down at her hands and saw burns all along her arms. The energy inside her was burning its way out. Rose raised her head to the night sky as a painful, broken cry ripped its way from her throat.

"Rose!" The Doctor's terrified scream almost drowned out her own.

It was like there had been strings holding Rose up and suddenly those strings snapped. Pain shot up her leg as the bones in her right foot fractured on impact. She could feel the Doctor, his hands against her skin making the energy immediately respond to him. He wrapped her up in his jacket and pulled her to her feet. But Rose cried out as she felt the fractured bones protest. The Doctor didn't seem to care. He pulled her with him, his hold on her relentless. They stumbled through the streets. Somehow the festivities seemed less merry. Sound seemed far away. Everything was a blur of colour and motion as the Doctor pulled her through the city.

Rose felt it the minute they got inside the TARDIS. It was like a comforting hand brushed against her exhausted, scrambled mind. But even thought it was comforting Rose thought she could still feel a hint of fear underneath it. The TARDIS, afraid.

The Doctor left her on the jump seat. But she didn't seem to quite have the strength to hold herself up so she swayed where she sat. The Doctor fired up the ship, getting them out of there and into the vortex faster than he ever had before. He left the console and hurried over to Rose and pulled her back up. But her knees immediately folded under her. He lifted her up into his arms and ran with her through the hallways. Rose just vaguely recognised the ceiling passing by above her before the Doctor got her into the infirmary. He deposited her on the exam table in the middle of the room. Rose thought she could hear the whirring sound of the sonic. Then metal against metal, frantic fiddling.

"I'm sorry," she thought she heard the Doctor mumble. She cried out as he reset the bones in her foot. "I'm sorry," he mumbled again. Rose struggled against the tears burning at be back of her eyes. He wrapped her foot up in something and slowly the pain there eased. Unfortunately that only made everything else hurt more. Her skin felt as though it was still burning. She ground her teeth together, struggling not to cry out again. "Hang in there, Rose," the Doctor told her. She could feel him running about around her, the frantic urgency in his movements.

Tears finally spilled over and ran down Rose's cheeks. She couldn't fight them no matter how much she struggled. She didn't know what had happened. Didn't understand what was going on. And however hard she tried to form the words to ask him, she couldn't manage to push a single syllable passed her lips.

/

 **Sorry this took so long for me to post. I got cold feet. I had practically decided not to post part two at all and just leave it with part one. But a friend of mine said I was being stupid, so... wouldn't want to be stupid.. ;) I hope you liked it!**


	27. Chapter 27 - Darkness falls

Chapter 27 - Darkness falls

Rose awoke to pain pulsing through her hand. She unclenched her fingers, seeing the deep indentations left in her palm by her nails. Her breathing was ragged. She was in her bed, in her room on the TARDIS. A nightmare. It was just another nightmare. She turned around and found a messy head of hair next to her shoulder and a familiar hand in hers.

"Doctor..." it came out as nothing but a croak. But the Doctor came immediately awake. He raised his head, his eyes finding hers. The first thing Rose noticed was that his clothes were completely soaked through. That realisation struck her like a knife to her chest. She swallowed hard.

"It wasn't a dream was it?" she asked him. He shook his head, his eyes dropping from hers. "What happened?" She couldn't fit the pieces together and every second they seemed to slip further away from her.

"It was my fault," he said. Rose waited for him to elaborate. But he didn't.

"What was your fault?" Rose asked, the faintest hint of panic in her voice. The Doctor wouldn't look at her. Fear twisted inside her chest.

 _Look at me_! she demanded across the bond, the fear sharpening the mental imprint. But something was wrong. The words didn't flow effortlessly from her mind to his as they used to. It was like they had to trudge through mud to get there.

Finally the Doctor looked up. "I lost control," he said. Rose stared at him.

"You mean, I lost control," she corrected, seeing the truth in his dark eyes. He shook his head.

"I should never have let it go that far," he said. "Not in a crowded place. I wasn't thinking... I..." he trailed off.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Rose asked. The Doctor's eyes fell on their interlocked fingers. He brushed his thumb lightly across hers. Usually that small touch would have sent a pleasant tingle over her skin but even that seemed somehow dulled.

"No," he answered without looking at her.

"Don't lie to me," Rose said. "You promised." He raised her hand to his lips and gave her knuckles a lingering kiss. As he did Rose saw the bandages wrapped around her arm and remembered her skin burning.

"The Judoon," he said. "They found us. When they got too close. Their skin...it... it charred."

"Did I kill them?" Rose asked, feeling as though her very blood stopped inside her veins.

"I don't know," the Doctor answered. "There was a woman too. I don't know..." That must have been the woman Rose'd heard screaming. "All I could think was to get you out of there," the Doctor said. "I didn't stop to look if anyone..." He squeezed his eyes shut, his hold on her hand tightening. "I just took you and ran."

Rose's mind was spinning. A part of it was trying to block everything out. It had happened before, her mind repressing memories that were too much for her to safely comprehend. But another part fought desperately to remember. To understand. She'd been so happy. So filled with exhilaration and joy. Then it had somehow gone horrible wrong. She felt misery darken her mind and immediately sought out the Doctor's for comfort. But it was still so hard to reach across.

"What's wrong?" she asked. The Doctor looked up at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Why can't I..." Rose tried to clarify. "I can't feel you," she said. Sadness and regret filled the Doctor's eyes.

"It's me," he said. "I'm blocking off the bond. As much as I can."

"What?" Rose burst out, half rising. The Doctor got out of the chair he'd been sitting in, urging her back down.

"Easy," he said.

"Why would you do that?" Rose asked.

"We'll talk about it later, alright? When you're better." He brushed away her hair and leaned down, giving her forehead a quick kiss. "I have to change out of my clothes. Just rest." And then he was gone. He'd left her. Just like that. Rose squeezed her eyes shut. trying to stop more tears. She couldn't have hurt anyone. Please. She couldn't have.

Rose had chosen to stay with the Doctor despite the dangers. Despite knowing that someday people might die because of them. She had told herself it wouldn't have to happen. Even though this thing between them, this bond tying them together so strongly she wondered if it could ever be possible to break. Even though it was so strong, she'd told herself that it was still a choice. It was always a choice. And they could choose the right thing. It didn't have to end in pain and fire. But now it seemed was the time were the lies she'd told herself finally caught up with her. Perhaps there never had been a choice.

/

Rose spent three days in bed. Three days it took for her body to heal itself. A lot quicker than before but still not quick enough. During those three days she nearly went mad. She only saw the Doctor when he brought her food or checked on her wounds. He hardly said two words to her and he was still blocking her out. She remembered how it had felt when she'd been trapped in that room on the Dalek Crucible, surrounded by the blue web of light from that crystal. How it had blocked her off from the Doctor. How empty it had made her feel. This wasn't quite the same. She could still sense him to some degree. It wasn't like he was gone. It felt more like he was always far away. Just out of her reach.

So when Rose woke up on the fourth day she struggled out of bed and got in the shower. Her foot was ok, a little sore but she didn't limp and the burns on her skin had faded to nearly nothing. It was wonderful standing under the hot water. She felt so cold. Like the first few weeks with the Doctor when she hadn't been used to how cold space could be. She got out of the shower after almost an hour under the hot spray. She got dressed and ran a brush through her blonde hair. It had gotten longer the last few months. She needed to get it cut. A swift brush of mascara and she felt ready for battle. Because that was undoubtedly what she was facing. She stared at the girl in the mirror. There was a haunted look in her eyes. Fear, Rose thought. It was fear. She still wasn't sure what had happened. Still didn't know if on that rainy night someone had died because of her. She scared the hell out of herself. Rose took a deep breath and left.

She found the Doctor in the control room. She could feel the ship hurtling through the vortex.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked as she stepped into the room. The Doctor started at the sound of her voice.

"Rose..." His gaze flickered away from hers. "What are you doing out of bed?" Rose wandered over to the console.

"I'm better now," she said. She held up her arms to show him the lack of burns. He glanced at her briefly.

"And your foot?" he asked.

"Fine," Rose said. "So where are we going?" she asked again. It took a while before he answered.

"Um..just checking on something," he told her distractedly as he piloted the TARDIS. She tried reaching his mind with hers, trying to get some sense of what he was feeling. But all she got was a vague sense of worry. She couldn't even tell what he might be worried about.

"What's going on, Doctor?" she asked. He walked around the console, flipping switches, looking at anything but her.

"You should get back to bed..," he said.

"I told you I'm fine."

"...Don't want to take any chances," he continued as though she hadn't spoken at all.

"Doctor, stop it!" she ground out. "Just stop it!" He did. He stopped, his hands clasping the edge of the console. But he still wouldn't look at her. "Why are you blocking me out?" Rose asked. "Tell me!" The Doctor drew in a deep uneven breath but did not answer. "Are you afraid of me?" Rose asked, feeling horror swirling in her gut. "Do you think I'd..." she stumbled over the word. "...hurt you?" she finished.

The Doctor shook his head. "No," he said.

"Then what?" Finally he glanced up at her and the minute his eyes met hers she was sure a piece of her heart broke. Because she knew that look. It was the look he got when he was going to tell her something so bad he'd rather not say it at all. This was the look he got when he forced himself to stay when he'd rather run.

"Rose..." he began slowly. Rose understood his instinct. That instinct to run. She had it too. When you'd simply had too much pain in your life and wasn't sure your heart could take anymore, wasn't it better to run?

"Rose..." he tried again but fell silent. He couldn't seem to get the words out.

"We've landed," Rose noticed.

"What?" he asked.

"We've landed," she repeated.

"Yeah."

"Where?" The Doctor didn't answer so Rose walked over to the doors, a little voice at the back of her mind warning her that now maybe she was the one that was running.

"Rose, don't go out there," the Doctor called to her. She stopped with her hand on the door-handle.

"Then tell me what's wrong," she said without turning around. "Tell me even if you think it will hurt me."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"Do it anyway," Rose insisted. She waited and he said nothing. "Fine," she ground out. Rose opened the door and stepped out.

The sight that met her fair took her breath away. She walked out into a giant ballroom. And when she said, giant she really meant it. The scope of the place was massive. A huge dance floor spread out before her, high polished marble glimmering in the moonlight reflected by four big chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Beyond the floor were round tables with white tabletops spread out evenly. All along the edges of the room were pillars, made out of white marble at the top and base and green marble at the middle. They were supporting the balconies overhead, railings shimmering in gold. Right opposite Rose was a huge staircase that split in two, one going right and one left.

But however beautiful the room was you could immediately see that something was wrong. Several chairs were upended. A few tables had even tipped over. Dirt had begun to dull the shine of the gold-plated railings and when Rose took a step onto the marble floor, her shoes got instantly wet from the inch or so water that had leaked from somewhere.

"The Emperica," the Doctor said, stepping up beside her and putting his hands in his pockets as he surveyed their surroundings. "One of the greatest ships ever built."

"Please don't tell me it was unsinkable," Rose muttered.

"No," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "It was decommissioned. Used for transporting goods instead of people." Rose looked around the room and all its splendour.

"You're saying they took this ship and turned into a freighter?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah."

"That's tragic," Rose said sadly. It was tragic because this ship had been built for elaborate parties and strolling along the deck in beautiful gowns. For dancing all through the night and sipping champagne out of crystal glasses. It was built for laughter and falling in love under a star strewn sky. You could feel it through the wood and marble. Someone had put passion into building her. Even in its broken decay Rose thought it might still be the most beautiful ship she'd ever seen. "When you say ship, though," Rose wondered. "Do you mean spaceship or...?"

"Spaceship, yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"Then where is the water coming from?" Rose asked, as she splashed around a little in the puddle she was standing in.

The Doctor looked around. "I don't know," he allowed. He left her and rushed over to some info- point. Also cut out of marble, gold leafs all along its edges. Even this was made to match perfectly with the surroundings, even down to the tasteful golden buttons on the top. The Doctor used the sonic to fire it up. Rose turned back to the TARDIS and gasped. Behind her was a giant glass window. So big it stretched from the floor to the high ceiling and all the way to the edges of the room. It showed her a beautiful night sky, twin moons glowing among millions of twinkling stars.

"Doctor," Rose breathed, as she stared at it, imagining what it must have been like to be on this ship at the hight of its beauty. To dance in this room with the night sky behind you.

"I can't get this to work," the Doctor was muttering. Rose stared at the sky beyond the glass and felt something was off. She wandered over to it and looked out. Her eyes widened in surprise. The ship was lying on its side in the water. Judging by the vastness it must be an ocean, Rose thought, looking out and not seeing a hint of land. That explained the water on the floor. Even though the ship was over on its side they were still the right way up so some artificial gravity must still be functioning.

"Ah! I got something," the Doctor exclaimed. Rose turned back to him as light flooded the room. The chandeliers overhead sparked to life, casting most of the room in a golden glow. But even the huge chandeliers couldn't quite scare away the shadows hiding in the corners. The info-point's screen flickered and showed them the face of a man. His eyes were widened in terror and his mouth open in a scream. Rose felt the hairs on arms stand on end.

"You can't run," they heard a scared male voice say from the info-point. Rose would assume it was the man on the screen but the picture had not moved. The picture was frozen. The Doctor ran the sonic over it again.

"Can't get the picture to work," he said.

"You can't run," the voice said again. Rose could hear the absolute fear in it, the terror. "You can't run. Darkness," it said. "It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming." The Doctor turned the message off. Chills ran up and down Rose's arms. Suddenly the room didn't seem so tragically beautiful anymore. It looked frightening. It's grandeur overwhelming.

"The data is too corrupted," he said.

"What's the darkness?" Rose asked.

The Doctor glanced over at her. His expression told her he had no idea.

"Doctor," Rose said as she looked around."What happened here? What happened to this ship?" Rose turned her head and looked at the Doctor, her eyes narrowing on him. "Why did we come here?"

"According to the log," the Doctor said. "The Emperica set out with a cargo from Ro'chi 7 and halfway to their destination something happened."

"What happened?"

"Darkness," the Doctor said. "That's all it says. Darkness fell."

"So did something happen to the ship?" Rose asked. "Because it's lying on its side in the water."

"Water?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded. He ran over to the window she'd just stood gazing out of.

He turned around and rushed into the TARDIS without a word. Rose hurried after him. She found him at the console.

"We're not on a planet," he said. "We are in the middle of a very large astroid belt. This rock alone is the size of two Earths."

"Wow." Rose allowed that, that was big. The Doctor was staring at the monitor while fiddling with the switches.

"The ship's fine," he said carefully. "There is nothing wrong with it. Fully functional. Just give the power-cells a boost and you could fly it out of here."

"So what happened then?" Rose asked. The Doctor stared at the screen.

"No idea," he said. "The TARDIS isn't picking up any life signs and not a single escape pod has been launched."

"Well, the people on the ship didn't just walk out the door," Rose pointed out.

"No," the Doctor agreed. "But something happened to them. It had a crew of a hundred and five when they set out." He turned a few dials and punched in new commands. "Let's see what happens if we widen the parameters," he mumbled as he worked. "Wow..."

"What?" Rose asked.

"There is something alive on that ship," the Doctor said.

"What is it?"

"No idea."

He glanced over at her. Her eyes caught his across the room and suddenly the space separating them vanished. It was like he was standing right in front of her. She could feel him. They way his body shifted in response to hers, the exact amount of air that movement caused and how she could feel it brushing against her skin. For just the blink of an eye everything was alright again. But then it was like a door slamming shut in her face. She took a step back.

"Sorry," the Doctor muttered. "I didn't mean to..."

"You didn't mean to let me back in or you didn't mean to slam the door in my face?" Rose asked.

"Both," the Doctor answered.

"Right." Rose turned on her heal, fighting every urge, every impulse, every need she felt to stay with him.

"Rose!" he called after her. "I don't know what we're walking into," he told her.

"I don't care," Rose said and walked out.

Once outside the TARDIS, she took a deep calming breath, trying by will alone to slow her frantic beating heart. It was all falling down. That's what it felt like. After she finally had come to terms with the death of Mickey and the loss of her family. When it all started to feel alright again. It all came tumbling down like a house of cards. Is that how fragile her relationship with the Doctor was? Nothing but a house of cards?

Something made Rose glance up. Her eyes focused on a shadow-filled corner to the left of her. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see into the darkness. But she could see nothing, yet she could swear there was something staring back at her.

The Doctor came up behind her. "Throwing yourself into the jaws of death as usual?" he asked, Rose noting the hint of irritation in his voice. She struggled to contain her frustration.

"It happened once," she told him and walked away. "And it wasn't so much throwing myself as tripping into it," she corrected. "Throwing suggests intent."

"Yeah, like you can accidentally attract danger like you do," he muttered and followed her.

They walked across the dance-floor and up the grand marble staircase. Up close Rose could see the marble was cracked in places, the red carpet was frayed at the edges and stained with dirt and mould.

"Where do we even start?" Rose asked.

"We need to find an info-point that works," the Doctor said as they made their way up the stairs. Both were looking around, watching the shadows. Darkness the log had said. Darkness fell.

"Is it just me?" Rose asked. "Or does it feel like there is something in the shadows?" The Doctor halted and looked back behind them. Rose followed suit but a step or so above him. The room behind them seemed darker somehow.

"It's just our minds," the Doctor said. "Our minds playing tricks on us." But he didn't sound sure.

One of the big chandeliers went out. Rose felt her heart instantly freeze in her chest. She couldn't even see the stars outside the window anymore. Another chandelier flickered and died.

"Doctor..?" Rose said hesitantly, fear creeping up her spine. "Why are the lights going out?"

It took him a moment to answer. "They're not going out," he said and turned on his heal. "Run!" he screamed and pushed her ahead of him.

Rose tore her gaze away from the falling darkness and ran. They took the left set of stairs, running without turning to look behind them. As they finally reached the top of the massive staircase Rose tripped over the last step and fell. The Doctor caught her hand and yanked her back to her feet. But the minute his skin touched hers the link between them flared up. Rose knew how hard it was to keep the distance when they touched. The Doctor released her instantly as though she'd burned him. But it had been enough. Enough for her to see the fear inside his heart. Crippling, gut wrenching fear. And it had nothing to do with the threat they were currently facing. Nothing at all.

They rushed down a hallway, panelled wood on the walls and beautiful paintings with gilded frames. Rose dared a glance back behind them. There was nothing there. Nothing but darkness. Darkness fell. The hallway abruptly ended in a set of double doors. The Doctor yanked on the handle but it would not open. He pulled the sonic out of his pocket and desperately tried to use it on the lock. Rose was staring at the blackness coming ever closer. What would happen once it reached them? What hid in the shadows? Rose's first thought was hell. She wasn't sure why. But that was her first thought. That once the blackness reached them they'd be in hell. Torment and agony for all eternity.

"What is taking so long?!" Rose called frantically to the Doctor over her shoulder.

"It doesn't do wood!" he screamed in frustration. She turned to him and caught his eye.

"On three," she said. He nodded. "One, two, three."

They threw their shoulders against the double doors and they burst opened, wood splintering. Someone had jammed them shut. The Doctor and Rose stumbled inside the room, pushing the doors shut behind them. The Doctor picked up the piece of wood someone had used to bar the door and showed it through the handles, baring it again. They both took a step back, staring at the doors, expecting something to bang against them at any moment forcing it's way inside and ripping them to pieces. But nothing happened. Everything was silent.

They both looked around quickly. They appeared to be in some form of sitting room. Old, dusted luxury in the form of expensive furniture, marble tabletops and a cocktail-bar to one side. And next to the bar was an info- point. The Doctor immediately rushed over to it. But Rose's eyes fell on something else. In one dark corner, something white caught the soft yellow light from the lamp in the ceiling. She took a step closer, already knowing what it was but somehow still hoping she was wrong. But her initial instinct had been right. The white that had caught the light was bone. Human bone. In the corner of the room lay all that was left of what had once been a person, completely stripped to the bone, nothing left but the skeleton in a bag of clothes.

"Doctor," Rose said, both fear and sorrow in her voice because what if whatever had done that was still inside the room. Baring the door obviously hadn't helped.

"Why are they all broken?" the Doctor was muttering from across the room.

Rose's eyes caught on a small book, still clutched in a skeleton hand. Whoever it had been had died holding on to it. Rose hunkered down and carefully took the book. It was leather-bound and dusty, a strap of rubber around it to hold the pages together. Rose removed the rubber band, glancing at the human skull. Some irrational part of her feared it would rise up and reclaim what she'd taken. But the bones stayed where they were. Rose flipped quickly through the pages. It was a journal, most entries marked with a date. Surprising they would have something so ancient and simple this far into the future, Rose thought. She stopped at the last entry. Her eyes widened in fear as she read it.

"Doctor..." she tried again, her voice trembling slightly. "Doctor." But he was having an argument with the info-point.

 _Doctor_! she screamed from her mind to his, her distress ripped through the barriers he'd put up. He twirled around instantly, his eyes finding hers, worry in them.

"What?" he asked.

"I...I found a journal," she said. "I imagine it was his." She indicated the bones on the floor. "Or hers," she allowed since there was no actual way for her to tell. The Doctor's eyes flickered down to the bones and then back up to Rose's. She could see he'd had some suspicion and the bones were further confirming them.

"What does it say?" he asked. Rose's eyes fell back to the journal and the last entry.

"Darkness is falling," she read. "Darkness is falling and there is nowhere left to run. Everyone's dead. I count the shadows. Every minute, I count the shadows. They are coming. Oh, god please help me. They are coming."

Rose raised her gaze to the Doctor's. "I think it's time you tell me why we're really here," Rose said, unable to keep the fear from her voice. The Doctor drew in a quick breath through his nose and turned back to the info-point without a reply. "Doctor?" There was a clear warning in Rose's tone. "Doctor, you are going to tell me what is going on this very instant or I swear I'll...-"

"I don't know," he cut her off. "At least I'm not sure. Not yet."

"We came here for a reason," Rose insisted. "You purposefully landed here. I know you did. Why?" He wasn't answering. But with his back turned towards her she couldn't tell if he was searching for a reply or simply ignoring her. "Doctor..." a hint of sadness coloured her tone. "Doctor, tell me this at least."

The Doctor paused before reaching into his pocket. He withdrew something, tossing it to her. Rose caught it. It was the psychic paper. She took a look at it. It was a set of coordinates and a message. The Emperica, come as soon as you can. And at the bottom the message was marked with an X.

"She sealed it with a kiss," Rose remarked, trying not to feel the sting of jealousy that stirred unwelcome in her gut. The Doctor didn't reply. "So, who's it from then?" Rose asked. The Doctor was still trying to get the info-point to work, running the sonic over it. But the machine was clearly not cooperating.

"Don't know," he said absentmindedly. Rose held up the psychic paper.

"Old girlfriend?" she asked.

"No," he told her, a certain finality to the word.

"Ah, new girlfriend then."

The Doctor pushed away from the info-point and stalked over to her, snatching the paper out of her hands. Fire burned in his dark eyes.

"Don't you dare," he hissed at her. "Don't dare imply I could ever-..." he failed to finish, the words getting caught in his throat. He twirled away from her, shoving the psychic paper angrily back inside his pocket.

Before Rose could say anything, doors from the other side of the room burst opened. Both the Doctor and Rose started. Bright light from several torches blinded them for a second. The Doctor immediately got between Rose and whoever was bursting through the doors.

A woman strode into the room flanked by two men and another girl following behind. The two guys wore clothes used to toil and combat. One guy had a scar down the side of his face and the other had eyes that had seen too much not to leave a trace of cynicism behind. The girl at the back was holding a handheld computer, her long, dark hair in a high ponytail. The woman in the front was dressed in knee-high brown leather boots. She wore a well-used brown leather jacket, much in the style pilots wore during the second world war. There was a gun strapped to each hip and some form of computer or scanner in her hands. Her hair was a mass of wild curls piled high up on her head. Her face lit up in a seductive smile as she spotted the Doctor.

"Hello, sweetie," she said.


	28. Chapter 28 - Lie to me

Chapter 28 - Lie to me

"I don't know who you are," the Doctor told them all. "But you need to get out of here now. You need to leave."

"What did I tell you," the woman turned back to the girl behind her, ignoring the Doctor's words. "Two human lifeforms."

"You were right," the girl allowed. The woman flipped her hair out of her eyes. She looked like some female space version of Indiana Jones.

Rose couldn't help but glance critically down at herself. Rose was wearing jeans, sneakers, a powder pink top, and a grey short jacket with an array of handy pockets. Next to Mrs Jones she looked terribly ordinary. Of course she wasn't ordinary. Everything would have been a lot simpler if she had been. But looking at this woman made Rose think that maybe she should wear more cool leather jackets and boots. But that wasn't really who she was, was it? And if there was something she didn't want to loose right now it was who she was. Rose Tyler with no a-levels or badass leather jackets. Just an ordinary girl who'd find out she had the strength and bravery to be extraordinary.

"Get out now," the Doctor told the group again. The woman sassed over to him and held out her hand.

"Professor River Song," she introduced herself.

"You're archeologists, aren't you?" the Doctor asked without taking her hand, his lips twisting in disgust.

"Indeed," River Song replied with a smile, letting her hand fall. "Well some of us at least," she said, winking at the guy with the scar. "This is Jonathan Fox," Professor Song said, pointing at the guy with the cynical eyes. "Miss Evangelista." She pointed to the girl who gave them all a small wave. "And Drake." She indicated the guy with the scar. He locked eyes with Rose for a moment. His gaze slewed down the length of her and back up again, a crocked smile spreading on his lips. He was holding some big weapon, like a shotgun but far more advanced. He leaned the gun casually against his shoulder as he smiled at Rose.

"Well ain't ye a beaut'," he said. His accent was Australian, dark and amused. It sounded like he put some extra drawl to it.

The Doctor was looking from the guy to Rose and back again while River Song was simply rolling her eyes.

"No," the Doctor tried again, clearly flummoxed. "Leaving, you're all leaving."

"We're not leaving, Doctor," River Song said. Rose didn't notice it at first but the Doctor did. He hadn't told them who he was, so how did this woman already know? "We came here to get a few things," Professor Song was saying, not paying attention to the surprised look on the Doctor's face. "Not leaving until we got them."

"Well, I detect no more lifeforms," the girl at the back, Miss Evangelista, said as she looked at her small computer that was handily strapped to her forearm. "I'm sure this time," she added.

"I would really listen to him though," Rose said, stepping to the side and revealing the human remains behind her. Miss Evangelista gasped. But none of the others gave much of a reaction. River Song moved over to the skeleton, running her scanner over it.

"The bones are stripped clean," she said. "Perfectly clean."

"That is why you need to leave," the Doctor insisted. River Song straightened and turned to him.

"You know what it is then?" she asked. "You know what killed everyone on this ship?"

"I know what it appears to be but it's not possible," he said.

"Why not?" Rose asked. The Doctor's eyes moved from River to Rose.

"Because it can't be here. Not on a spaceship. It doesn't make sense," he told her.

"What can't be 'ere?" Drake asked.

"Vashta Nerada."

There was a certain tone the Doctor put on the name. It caused everyone to go silent.

"What's that then?" Drake was the one who finally spoke.

"It's a swarm," the Doctor explained impatiently. "But they live in forests. Not on spaceships."

"Swarm?" River Song asked.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed. "They do that," he pointed to the remains.

"They eat flesh?" Miss Evangelista asked in disgust.

"They consume it," the Doctor told her. "Within seconds. Most creatures have a weak spot. Sontarans, the back of the neck, Daleks, you go for the eyestalk."

"And Vashda Nerada?" Rose asked. The Doctor turned to her. There was fear in his eyes.

"Run," he said and despite the thick walls around his mind she got a wave of regret from him. "You run."

"And why should we believe you?" Drake asked the Doctor.

"Because I'm right," the Doctor told him.

"Gonna need a bit more than that, mate."

"No, you don't," Professor Song said. "If he says there are flesh-eating swarms on this ship then there are flesh-eating swarms on this ship."

The Doctor looked in surprise at River Song. She was very quick to believe him. A little too quick.

"We're just gonna believe this random guy?" Drake asked, pointing his hand at the Doctor. "How did you even get here, no other ships had docked."

"Not the point," River interrupted before the Doctor had a chance to say anything. River turned to Drake. "I trust him, that is all you need to know," River said. After a few moments Drake gave a shrug.

"Fine," he said. "At least the girl's cute."

"Oi," Rose said. "Watch it or you're gonna get a smack you are." Drake's lips spread in a smile at this.

"Think I might like that," he said.

"Ok, enough," the Doctor said, his voice hard. "You all need to get out of here now."

"Sorry, Doctor but we're not going yet," River said.

"You don't need to go you need to run," the Doctor insisted.

"Runnin's all well an' good mate," Drake said. "But how we kill 'em is better."

"You don't," the Doctor told him sharply. "It's a swarm. They exist all over the universe. But in small clusters. They might kill one or two people a year. This is different. Something's different," he was rambling, running his hands frustratingly through his hair. "It killed the entire crew in just a few days," he said.

"Two," Rose said from behind him. He looked back at her. "Two days," she clarified, looking up from the journal.

"Does it say anything about where they came from?" the Doctor asked, a hint of hope colouring his tone. But Rose shook her head.

"Don't think so," she said.

"Right, of course it doesn't. Didn't have time to figure that out. Too busy dying."

"So what do we do?" River asked, effectively focusing the Doctor. It made Rose glance over at her. She wasn't sure if she should be impressed or worried.

"Stay out of the shadows," he told them. "Just stay out of the shadows."

"Miss Evangelista!" River Song called.

"Professor Song."

"Find me a route to the cargo bay," she said. "And make it quick, I don't much fancy dying here." The Doctor's eyes widened as he looked at her.

"Nothing in that cargo bay could be worth it," he remarked, clearly thinking he had scared them enough to get them out of there. But the professor didn't exactly look like someone who got scared easily.

"Try thirty million credits mate," Drake told him.

"That's what you're getting for this?" the Doctor asked.

"Curtesy of the Lux Cooperation," Miss Evangelista said while tapping away on her computer. The Doctor walked over to Professor Song, clearly having decided that she was the one to convince. Rose kept flipping through the pages of the journal. It wasn't all diary entries. There were quotes and poetry and drawings in there too. It was someone's mind and soul between those pages. She began to understand why whoever it was had clung to it as they died.

"Soo," Rose heard a deep Aussie drawl right next to her. "What's a beaut' like you doin' in a place like this eh?" Rose glanced up at the guy, Drake. He was smiling crookedly at her. Upon closer inspection she could tell he wasn't as old as she'd initially thought. Which would account for his lack of originality when it came to pick up lines. He was probably around her age, but the scar down the right side of his face easily added a few years. He was also quite handsome. In a rugged, devil may care sort of way. Rose returned to leafing through the journal without comment. Whether he was handsome or not didn't make much difference in the end. He leaned down a little closer to her. He smelled faintly of something sweet. Some kind of candy she couldn't quite place. "So what's the story with yew two?" he asked, nodding his head in the Doctor's direction. Rose glanced up. The Doctor was still talking to River Song. She was holding some blue book in her hands and whatever they were discussing it seemed to have stumped him. She fought the impulse to reach across the bond to try and see what he was feeling. "Two of you a thing or...?"

Rose sighed. "None of your business."

"Ah, complicated then eh," he said. Rose tried to ignore him as he fished something out of his pocket. That sweet smell she'd noticed before grew stronger. Rose glanced up to see him popping something into his mouth. He caught her looking and opened his hand to show her what he held. Rose started.

"Jelly Bellies?" she asked in disbelief. "They can't still have Jelly Bellies."

"What you mean still?" he asked. "And why not?"

"No reason," Rose said, shaking her head.

"Want one?"

Rose struggled for just a moment to say no but pretty soon gave in. She snatched one out of Drake's outstretched hand and popped it into her mouth. Oh, it was ages since she had Jelly bellies. They hadn't been to Earth or even her century in so long.

"Good, right?" Rose nodded. "Can't get enough of 'em," Drake said. "Eat 'em non stop." He downed the last ones.

"Drake!" River Song called from across the room. "Stop trying to flirt. We got a route, time to head out."

"Comin' professor," he said. "See you around, blondie," he told Rose and gave her wink before hurrying over to River and the others. Rose walked over to the Doctor's side.

"Not leaving then?" she asked him.

"No," he replied, his eyes locked on River as she took her team and headed out the way they'd come.

"You ok?" Rose asked, remembering the look on his face as he'd stood speaking to River.

"Yeah, fine," he replied. Rose knew what that 'fine' meant and it never actually meant fine. "Come on," he said and followed River and the others. Rose stashed the journal in one of her handy pockets and hurried after him.

They walked through rooms and through hallways, forgotten splendour all around them. It would have been sad seeing something so beautiful left to decay but no one had time to appreciate such a thing. Everyone was watching the shadows. Rose leaned closer to the Doctor.

"On a scale of one to 5,5/apple/26, just how bad is this?" Rose whispered.

"I shouldn't have brought you here," the Doctor said. "I'm sorry."

"This is still what we do isn't it?" Rose half asked. But the Doctor didn't have time to give an answer.

"Wait!" Evangelista called out. "I've got movement." She looked at her small computer. The Doctor clasped Rose's arm, careful not to touch her skin and pulled her with him.

"Where?" he asked Miss Evangelista.

"Um..." she said hesitantly. Rose tore free from the Doctor's grip. He gave her a glare meant to order her to stay put. But she demonstratively took a couple steps away from him.

"I can't seem to pinpoint it," Miss Evangelista continued, spinning around. Her eyes flickered from her computer screen to their surroundings and back again.

They were standing in a kitchen. It was slow going making their way down through the ship because of course the cargo bay was at the bottom.

"Miss Evangelista," Professor Song urged. "Talk to me!"

"Ah.. it's.. I think it's. It's behind us," she said.

"Are you sure?" the Doctor asked her urgently. She nodded.

"Yeah, I think so," she said. Everyone shone their torches at the room behind them, running the beams over kitchen counters and high-tech appliances. Shadows moved along the walls and crept over the floors. But no one could tell if they were real shadows or not.

The Doctor twirled around, looking frantically about. He spotted a refrigerator and hurried over to it, yanking the door opened. A foul smell met him. Old, rotten food. The ships power must have shut down not too long ago before he turned it all back on. He yanked a leg off an old chicken. He tossed it at the nearest shadow. Everyone gasped as the bone was licked clean in a second.

"Run!" the Doctor screamed. Everyone turned and bolted.

They crashed through the kitchen doors and burst out into another hallway. No one stopped or paused. Everyone just ran. They ran through the hallways and crossed though rooms while Miss Evangelista shouted out directions. Rose's gaze was running frantically about, every shadow she saw a potential threat.

"Left!" Miss Evangelista called out. They all turned left.

"Stop!" the Doctor screamed. He got a hold of Rose's sleeve and yanked her back. She crashed into his chest, his arm wrapping around her to steady them both. The hallway ahead of them was pitch-black. Everyone skidded to a sudden halt. "Back! Get back!"

The Doctor was pulling Rose backwards with him, his arm tight around her. They all turned, seeing the hallway behind them and it was just as dark. They were surrounded.

Drake was pointing his shotgun at the blackness even though shooting at it wouldn't do any good.

"Miss Evangelista!' River Song called. "What's bellow us?" she asked. Evangelista tapped away on her computer.

"Stairs," she said. "A set of stairs."

"Any movement?" the Doctor asked. Evangelista shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"Look out," River told them. She got one of the guns out of its holster and aimed it at the floor. Rose recognised the gun. It looked exactly like the sonic blaster she'd seen Jack Harkness use when she'd first met him.

A beam of blue light erupted from the gun and a perfect square hole appeared in the floor. Drake put away his weapon in a holster strapped to his back. Both he and Jonathan Fox hurried over to the hole. Jonathan waved Miss Evangelista over. She snapped her computer shut and hurried to him. He took her hands and lowered her into the hole, dropping her. Drake did the same with River.

"Come on!" Drake told Rose. The Doctor released her and they rushed over. Drake clasped Rose's hands and lowered her down. He let go and Rose crashed to the floor. Her injured, barely healed foot gave way under her. She swallowed the cry of pain that threatened to escape her lips. The Doctor landed next to her. Rose struggled to rise but ended up loosing her balance. The Doctor caught her and Rose sank back down. The Doctor hunkered down next to her. Rose hissed as he touched her foot. Drake and Jonathan jumped down to the rest of them and Professor Song raised the blaster, firing it at the hole. The ceiling returned as though there had never been a hole at all.

"I told you to stay in bed," the Doctor muttered angrily as he carefully examined Rose's foot.

"You don't get to tell me what to do," Rose hissed at him. His gaze flickered up to hers.

"If you'd listen to me you wouldn't have broken your foot again," he pointed out.

"It's not broken," Rose hissed back. She pulled away from him and struggled upright. She swayed a little as she put her weight on the injured foot. It hurt but not too bad. It definitely wasn't broken. The Doctor straightened and reached for her but Rose immediately put up her hands, warding him off.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"So we're back to this again are we?" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Why are you always so damn stubborn?!"

"Maybe I'm just not as bloody fragile as you think," Rose growled. The Doctor took a step towards her. Rose could see the readiness to do battle in his eyes.

River Song appeared next to them.

"Perhaps we could do this later," she suggested.

"We need to find somewhere to stop," the Doctor told River without his eyes leaving Rose's for one second. "I need to have a look at her foot, it might be broken."

"It's not broken," Rose told him. "It's fine."

"See, Doctor, she's fine," River agreed with Rose, clearly trying to get them all going. The Doctor took a step closer to Rose, his face darkening. Rose had to tilt her head back to look up into his eyes.

"You are going to let me have a look at that foot, Rose Tyler," he told her in no uncertain terms. Rose glared at him and the Doctor glared back.

"Rose Tyler?" River asked. "You're Rose Tyler?"

But neither the Doctor nor Rose paid her any mind

"I almost died once," Rose told the Doctor. "Once! And you turn into this overprotective ass." Rose got the pleasure seeing the Doctor completely stumped. "Yes, I said ass," Rose told him. "That's what you are. An ass."

"You..." the Doctor began angrily. "...have no idea what it's like to go through nearly loosing you. No idea!" He ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair, messing it up. "You are so damn... jeopardy friendly!"

"I am not," Rose refuted.

"Barrage ballon, Rose!' the Doctor reminded her. He turned suddenly to River who was still standing right next to them. "In the middle of the London blitz," he told her. "Hanging from a barrage ballon during a German air raid! Oh, and she had the Union Jack splashed all over her shirt." Rose was folding her arms across her chest, disliking this conversation more and more. "You could might as well have worn a target or a shoot me -sign!"

"That happened once," Rose pointed out.

"First time she flew the TARDIS," the Doctor told River. "Landed us in the Cretaceous period. We nearly got eaten!"

"Accident," Rose refuted.

"Clockwork droids, Daleks, bloody Davros! Judoon...!"

"Fine!" Rose interrupted him. "You've made your point."

"All though this is all very fascinating," Drake interrupted them. `'Maybe we should get going?"

"Yeah, good idea," Rose agreed. She turned away from the Doctor and began limping down the stairs.

"I'm still going to need to have a look at your foot," the Doctor said after her. Rose glanced back, prepared with some handy retort. But her eye caught on River Song and the words died on her lips. River was staring at Rose as though she had just seen a ghost. As though she couldn't possibly be real. The Doctor came up next to Rose, clasping her arm.

"Let's go," the he said, pulling Rose reluctantly with him while River stared after them.

Rose tried really hard not to limp but walking still hurt. Miss Evangelista came up next to them as they made their way down the stairs.

"There's some kind of library here," she said, pointing to a map on her computer. "It looks like it can be easily fortified. Plus according to schematics there should be plenty of light in there. Lights help right?"

"Light slows them down, but it doesn't stop them," the Doctor said. Rose winced as she stepped badly on her foot. The Doctor immediately wrapped his arm around her waist, steadying her. Reluctantly she let him. He was still careful not to touch her bare skin. Contact meant it would be harder for him to block her out. And he was still doing everything he could to block her out.

Miss Evangelista led them down the stairs into another hallway. Everyone was weary of every single shadow, their gazes flickering about, expecting them all to start moving at any second.

"Over here," Miss Evangelista said, pointing at a door to the right. Drake and Jonathan hurried past everyone. Drake kept his gun up as Jonathan opened the door. They both disappeared inside.

"I don't detect any movement," Miss Evangelista said, looking at her computer.

"Seems clear!' Drake called from inside the room. Everyone filed in, River entering last.

As far as library's went it was a fairly small one. Oval shaped, two floors, balconies tracing around the perimeter of the room. Books lay scattered and discarded on the floor, dust dulled the blue carpets, chairs were lying on their sides and tables were upended. The Doctor helped Rose over to a couch, easing her down into it. Rose leaned her head back against the headrest while the Doctor hunkered down on the floor in front of her. He put her foot on his knee and pulled her shoe off carefully. He got the sonic out of his inner jacket pocket and used it to scan her foot.

"Satisfied?" Rose asked him.

"Just some stress fractures to the bones you broke before," he mumbled.

"See," Rose pointed out.

"It still needs to be wrapped up," he said.

"Here." River suddenly stood next to them, holding out a roll of elastic bandage.

"Thanks," the Doctor said, taking the bandage, a bit of hesitation in his voice as though he did not quite trust her kindness.

The Doctor turned his attention to Rose's foot and froze. Rose followed his gaze, realising why he'd stopped. If he was going to wrap her foot he would have to touch her. That hurt, Rose thought. She remembered when this had been her. When she had been so afraid of what happened when the bond flared up that she hadn't wanted him to touch her. Now it seemed the roles had been reversed.

Rose leaned over and snatched the bandage out of his hands.

"I can do it myself," she snapped. The Doctor looked as though he was about to say something but then he straightened and left her without a word.

Rose planted her injured foot on her own knee and began wrapping the bandage.

"You two ok?" Professor Song asked next to her. Rose hadn't realised she'd stayed.

"Yeah, fine it's just...complicated," Rose muttered.

"What happened?" River asked. Rose paused for a moment before continuing to bandage her foot. "Really, very complicated," Rose added. River sat down next to her on the couch.

"Maybe I could help," River offered.

"I doubt it."

"Try me,"

Rose sighed. "He refuses to understand that lies will always hurt more than a painful truth ever could."

"Sometimes you have to lie," River said. "To protect the ones you love."

"Well, I don't need protecting," Rose said with finality.

"We all need protecting," River replied. Rose glanced over at her. "Every now and then."

"But it's not his choice," Rose insisted.

"He probably does what he thinks is right. Or what he knows is right. Maybe you just have to trust him." Rose narrowed her eyes at River.

"I don't know you, do I? Ever since we met you, you've... I don't know." Rose said thoughtfully, recalling how she'd been so quick to trust them.

"No," River said. "We've never met before. But he told me of you once," she said. Rose felt a strange flutter of worry in her stomach.

"Who did?"

River didn't answer but for the blink of an eye her gaze flickered over to the Doctor where he stood looking at something with Miss Evangelista on her computer.

"The Doctor..." Rose trailed off. "The Doctor told you about me?" Nothing in the Doctor's behaviour suggested he knew the woman from before. "You know him?" Rose asked.

"God, do I know that man," River said. There was no mistaking the intimacy in her voice. Rose's gaze fell back to her foot and she continued wrapping it up, telling herself not to take out any of her frustration on River Song. It wasn't her fault.

"I'm sorry," Rose said. "He's never mentioned you. A recurring theme with him though."

"It's because he hasn't met me yet."

Rose looked up at River in confusion. She was looking at the Doctor, a sad sort of longing in her eyes.

"What?" Rose asked.

"He came when I called. Like he always does," River was saying. "But it's too soon for him. He got the message too soon." Rose put her wrapped foot back down and slipped on her shoe.

"Excuse me, but what are you talking about?" Rose asked, perplexed. River tore her gaze away from the Doctor and turned to Rose.

"He hasn't met me yet," River repeated and finally Rose understood.

"You're from his future."

River nodded. "Yes."

"And you sent him the message to come here." Another nod.

"I never dreamt I'd meet you." River watched Rose and that strange disbelief returned to her eyes. Like she was looking at something she'd never thought to be real. "He said you were beautiful."

Rose hooked a lock of hair behind her ear and rose to her feet. Her hands had started shaking. She carefully put weight on the injured foot. The pain was almost gone. It really hadn't been that bad. Rose clenched her hands into fists in an attempt to stop the shaking. River was talking about the Doctor's future and Rose clearly wasn't a part of it. What had happened to her? Had she died? Had he simply outlived her? Had he left her?

Rose could feel the flow of timelines pushing at her temples. She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to know. She had become like the Doctor, afraid of endings. She didn't want to see her own.

"It took a long time for him to tell me about you," River was saying and Rose wanted to tell her to shut up. She didn't want to hear this. She couldn't bear it. Not now. Not when she was already afraid. "Sometimes he would mention your name in passing or something would remind him of you and he would get this look in his eyes. This haunted look. Like he was standing at the edge of a cliff, debating whether or not to jump." River shook her head sadly. "It broke my heart seeing him like that."

River thought she knew heartbreak. Rose hoped she didn't.

"I have to..." Rose tried to say, but she found it hard to even speak. "I have to..." she tried again. Rose raised her eyes and they immediately found the Doctor's across the room. It was like she instinctively knew where he stood in relation to her. Like she always knew.

The Doctor was moving before she had a chance to do anything, hurrying over to her.

"Rose?' he asked, urgency in his tone. "Rose, what's wrong?" Rose just shook her head. She wanted to reach for him. Wrap her arms around him and ensure herself that at least for now he was right there. Not lost. Not gone. Not with someone else. But her arms just hung limply at her sides, knowing he didn't want to touch her right now, much less let her get that close.

"What did you say to her?!" the Doctor barked at River.

"Nothing," River said, shaking her head, looking bewildered. "I didn't."

The Doctor turned back to Rose. "Rose?" he tried again. "Whatever happened you have to calm down." Rose glanced down at her hands and saw a faint hint of golden light shifting beneath her skin. Her eyes flickered back up to the Doctor's.

"Tell me you wont' leave me," Rose said. "Lie if you have to."

"What?" the Doctor asked, shocked. "Of course I'm not gonna leave you. Rose, please you're scaring me."

"Make me believe it," Rose asked of him. "Just make me believe it. Please. Make me believe we'll always be together. Lie to me."

The Doctor glanced once around the room. Rose knew that every eye were on them. But it didn't matter. She didn't have the capacity to care for such a trivial thing.

"I won't ever leave you," the Doctor told her. "You have to know that."

"How can I?" Rose asked. "You're blocking me. Why?"

The Doctor reached down and entwined his fingers with hers and yet she still couldn't quite feel him.

"Rose, I would die before I left you."

"No," Rose denied. "Until you decide it's the right thing to do. Until you decide it's the best thing." The Doctor shook his head.

"No, I won't do that again. I promise. I can't do that."

"You promised you would never lie to me again," Rose pointed out. "Your promises mean nothing."

Rose could feel the power inside her shifting, moving. She already had a splitting headache.

"You have to calm down."

"Then tell me something true," Rose said. "Tell me something I'll believe."

"You don't believe in this?" The Doctor asked sadly, taking her hand and placing it against his chest, holding on tight. She could feel the twin beat of his hearts against the back of her hand. "Do you have so little faith in me?" he asked.

"It's not about faith."

"Yes, it is. I would tell you anything if only you asked." He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. "All you ever have to do is ask." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I never meant to lie to you," he assured. "I just needed some time. Can't you give me that?" Rose shook her head.

"I'm scared," she said.

"I know." His hand tightened around hers. "I am too. More than you know. It's why I can't...Rose, I just need you to trust me. I don't care what Professor Song told you. Trust me."

Rose remembered at the Dalek Crucible when she'd thought Davros had finally managed to break the Doctor. When he'd sat on that floor and asked her to let him die in her stead. How angry it had made her. How he could trust Davros over her. But wasn't this different? River Song was from his personal future. She was what was waiting for him.

"She's from your future," Rose said.

"Yes, or so she says. But time can be rewritten."

"Doctor..." Rose thought she'd never heard so much pain in one word before as when River uttered that one.

"You be quiet," the Doctor told her harshly. Rose shook her head. He shouldn't be so cruel to her. Rose knew what it was like being left behind by the Doctor. Left behind with only the memories to keep you company. But she couldn't imagine how much it would hurt being threatened to have even the memories taken from you. The entire life you shared, erased.

The Doctor turned back to Rose, River nothing more than a blip on his radar. The Doctor might come to care for River one day, maybe even love her. And shouldn't Rose be glad he had someone when she was gone. No matter how much it hurt to imagine a time when they were not together she never wanted him to be alone. She knew she couldn't be with him forever. After all, she could spend the rest of her life with him but he couldn't spend the rest of his with her. There would come a time when he had to go on without her.

Rose took a deep steadying breath. But right in this moment his time was hers. She would trust in that, believing his words despite his actions because, yes she had that much faith in him.

The Doctor watched in amazement as Rose slowly began to regain mastery over her emotions, locking the energy pulsing through her blood back down.

"That's it," the Doctor said softly. He'd known she could do it. Of course she could. She was so strong, stronger than anyone else he knew or ever had known. But it had still been difficult for him, fighting every fibre of his being from letting down the walls blocking off the bond and help her.

Blocking it off was not pleasant to begin with. The mere mental struggle alone was enough to make him nearly keel over from exhaustion. But it also left him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Like that feeling when you know you've forgotten something important but can't remember what it was. He didn't know for how long he would be able to keep it up.

The Doctor led Rose back to the couch and sat her down. His fingers itched to touch her, to trace the curve of her cheek with his fingertips, to reach his mind towards hers and let them twine together, until all he could feel was her. But he did neither.

"You ok?" he asked. She nodded.

"I'm sorry I freaked out. It was stupid." Rose took a deep shuddering breath, her hands still clenched into fists.

"No it wasn't," the Doctor ground out and got to his feet. He spotted River and marched over to her, grabbing her arm and hauling her off to the side.

"Let go off my arm," River said, calmly but with steel. The Doctor released her.

"You don't speak to her again," he said, his voice fiery and hard.

"I didn't lie to her," River said.

"I don't care," the Doctor said darkly. Fire burned in his chest as he stared the woman down. River Song had some form of connection to him that much was clear. She would play a part in his future but he had no idea what part that might be. But no matter her connection to him she did not have the right to so much as whisper Rose's name if it meant she might be hurt. "You hurt her again and you will regret it. Trust me. I'll make sure of it," he told River, anger scorching through his blood. Knowing River could see it all on his face. The fire born out of the fear of failing to protect the one thing that mattered most. The promise of swift retribution should she in any way dare to thwart him. River took a step back.

"I never understood," she said. "You tried to explain but I never understood."

"Just stay away from her," the Doctor growled and left her, River staring after him with her heart breaking apart inside her chest.

When River had finally gotten her Doctor to tell her about Rose. She had listened and she'd thought she understood. She thought he and Rose had shared a young love. Perhaps even a first love. The kind that sweeps you away. The kind you'll always remember. But this wasn't like that at all. This wasn't the hope-filled infatuation of a first love. This was the all consuming passion of an only love.

This was the kind they wrote stories about. Heartbreaking, tragic stories of love and loss so great it left you thankful it had never happened to you. Because what could be more frightening than your entire existence depending on one fragile human heart that could not beat forever?


	29. Chapter 29 - If I falter

Chapter 29 - If I falter

"Is it just me here Foxie, or is there some weird tension in this room?" Drake said as he stood leaning back against one of the bookshelf's, watching. Jonathan Fox was standing next to him. The pretty blonde girl, Rose was sitting on a couch reading that journal. The Doctor bloke was with Miss Evangelista figuring out the route they'd take. But the man's eyes kept being irrevocably drawn towards Rose. It wasn't hard to see the guy was a gonner. Head over heels, completely and utterly in love. And with a girl like that, Drake was surprised the Doctor hadn't swept her away and married her already, just to be sure. Because if he wasn't quick about it surely some other bloke would. And then there was Professor Song. Drake had known her for quite a while now. She'd helped him out of a scrape on one of the border planets. And he had never once seen her nettled like this. She took every challenge, every job, every adversity in high heels and with a devilish smile. Nothing seemed to touch her. Nothing until now.

Maybe that Doctor was two-timing it even though it was rather hard to believe. Drake practically felt uncomfortable just remembering the way the Doctor and Rose had stood together in the middle of the room. It was like looking at two people making-out even if they'd barely even touched each other. And the way Professor Song had looked as she watched them. Like her whole world was falling apart before her eyes.

"Yeah, somethin's definitely goin' on here, mate," Drake said. He turned to Fox who remained silent as always. "You know this whole not speaking thing, when you gonna tell me what's up with that eh?" Fox turned his dark, watchful eyes on Drake but remained just as mute. "Never? You're saying never ain't ya? Yeah?" Drake squinted at the other man. "If you're not gonna talk you really need to work on your facial expressions. 'Cus I'm getting nothing here."

"He doesn't speak because he's cursed," River said as she came up to stand next to Drake.

"Cursed?" Drake turned his head from River to Jonathan Fox. "You cursed?" Fox turned his eyes back to the room without giving any sort of reply.

"Every word he speaks is doomed to be a prediction," River explained. "So he says nothing. At least that's what the Shawlin monks told me. No idea if it's true though."

"So why is he even here then?" He turned back to Fox. "No offence, mate." Fox only shook his head, as though he found it all quite ridiculous.

"Owe him a debt," River said. "This was what he wanted."

"And how did he tell you that?" Drake asked, leaning down towards River. River glanced up at him, one sarcastic eyebrow rising up slowly.

"He wrote it down," she said. Drake laughed.

"Alright," he said "So are you gonna tell us what the deal is?"

"Deal?" River leaned back against the bookcase, folding her arms across her chest. She was quite the woman, Professor River Song. As fearless as they come and sometimes Drake wondered if she wasn't even a little mad.

"With those two and you," Drake said indicating Rose and the Doctor.

"There's no deal," River said, a bit of frost in her voice.

"Oh, there's a deal. We can all see a deal," Drake said. "Can't we?" he asked, nudging Fox next to him. Fox glanced their way but didn't seem overly interested in the conversation."Spill the beans Professor," Drake said, his insatiable curiosity as always getting in the way of his common sense. "Was he two-timing or..-"

"You listen to me," River interrupted him in a hard voice. Drake immediately shut up. "...that is the greatest man I have ever known. You will never meet another like him and right now he might be the only thing keeping you alive. If you don't show some respect I will personally, shoot out your knees and watch as you try to drag your useless legs out of this room."

Drake's gaze dropped from Professor Song's. He swore she could be flirting with him one second and the next she was giving him such a verbal lashing he thought he might be back home hearing from his folks how much of a disappointment he was.

"Are we clear?" River demanded. Drake nodded.

"Clear as the frozen lakes of Illona, Professor," he said. River raised her eyebrows at Fox who immediately held up his hands in a show of letting her know he had nothing to do with any of this.

"Good," River said. She watched for a moment as the Doctor left Miss Evangelista and walked over to Rose. It was hard to tear her gaze away from him even though it hurt. He was so different from the man she knew. So young. So hopeful. Worried and scarred but not broken. And she had a feeling it was all because of Rose.

River finally managed to tear her eyes away. She walked over to Evangelista.

"I imagine you two have mapped out a route," River said as she got to her. Evangelista looked up from her computer.

"He wanted to find the quickest way to the ballroom. Said that was our way out. Tried to convince me to forget about the cargo."

"Maybe he's right," River allowed.

"I was thinking the same thing," Miss Evangelista said. She glanced over at Drake and Fox. "I doubt the boys will agree though. Not Drake at least. If he wasn't with you that boy would be a pirate."

"That's why he is with me," River said. "So I can keep him out of trouble."

"You do realise how backwards that sounds right?" Evangelista said with a smile. "You're the one that brought us all here."

River backed up. "Hey, I had no idea shadows would want to eat us." She turned to the rest of the room.

"We have a new route everyone. Let's head out." Drake and Fox immediately straightened and moved to follow her. River forced herself to face the Doctor.

"She ok with continuing on?" River asked.

Rose snapped the journal shut and rose from the couch.

"She is," she said. The Doctor straightened with her.

They left the library. River and Miss Evangelista had taken the lead, the Doctor and Rose in the middle and Drake and Jonathan Fox brought up the rear. Everyone was weary of the shadows as they made their way through the ship. It felt like they were always being watched. Always something in the darkness, waiting. It didn't help that the lights hanging overhead had begun to rock back and forth, flickering as they went.

"Something's going on, isn't it?" Rose asked the Doctor. He glanced up at the lights.

"Feels like the artificial gravity might be failing."

"What happens once it does?"

"Depends on if it all fails at once or not. Most likely it will slowly degrade. It will shift and fluctuate. Moving around will be... dangerous."

"Great," Rose muttered.

"This way," Miss Evangelista said, turning a corner.

"Hold up," Drake said, stopping. "That can't be right. We're going backwards."

"We are going the right way," River said.

"Naw, naw," Drake insisted, shaking his head. "If we wanna get down to the cargo bay we need to head that way," he said, pointing in the other direction, down a dark, dingy hallway. Not Vashda Nerada dark. But too dark for comfort.

"We're not heading for the cargo bay," River told him.

"Come again?"

"It's not worth it."

"Is this a joke? Are you joking?" Drake asked.

"Not a joke."

"Thirty million credits, professor," Drake reminded her.

"No amount of credits is worth getting eaten over," Miss Evangelista chimed in.

"Listen to your friends," the Doctor urged him.

Drake looked at Professor Song, a certain hint of desperation in his eyes.

"We've come this far," he said. "You know what that money would mean to me." River looked at him with sadness and regret.

"I know Drake, but Miss Evangelista is right. It's still not worth dying over."

"Who says we're gonna die eh?" Drake contoured. "We got this guy you seem to think can walk on water. He'll get us there," he said, indicating the Doctor.

"If you go down there, you're gonna die."

Drake started as he thought he saw Rose's eyes flash gold for a second.

"What the hell...?" He took a step towards her and the Doctor moved to intercept him. The movement was smooth, effortless and instantaneous. And as he moved, she shifted. It was like there were strings or something between them, binding them together. When one moved the other moved in response. When one was threatened the other protected. "What's wrong with her eyes?" Drake asked. But it wasn't just the girl's eyes. It was both of them. Nothing added up with the pair of them. Nothing.

"There is nothing wrong with her eyes," the Doctor said.

"They were on fire, I saw it! Same thing before. There is something wrong with her."

"What are you talking about?" River stepped forwards.

"Didn't you see it?" Drake asked. "Before, in the library. She... glowed or something."

River was looking from Rose and the Doctor to Drake and back again.

"What is he talking about?" River asked the Doctor.

"Delirious, if you ask me," the Doctor replied evenly. River's eyes narrowed on Rose and Rose stared back at her. Her eyes were a dark hazel brown. Pretty, sure, but quite ordinary.

"Drake, her eyes are fine," River tried to convince him. Drake took a step towards Rose but of course the Doctor was already in his way.

"You said I would die. Why? Why'd you say that eh?"

There was an intense moment of silence. River was looking at the Doctor expecting an explanation from him. The Doctor was clenching and unclenching his fists and Drake was looking at Rose as though she was some kind of wild thing he couldn't make sense of.

"Of course you will," Rose said in a matter-of-fact voice, breaking the silence. "Any shadow could be infected." She stepped out from behind the Doctor. "It will be a miracle if we make it back to the ballroom much less a bloody detour to the cargo bay." She made the whole thing sound ridiculous. Like the mere thought of doing anything but getting out was ludicrous.

"You think I just won't make it?" Drake asked, his voice filled with suspicion. Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"Well I can't know, can I?" she pointed out.

"What was that thing with you're eyes then?" Drake asked, flickering his fingers in her direction.

"Trick of the light?" the Doctor suggested.

"Are we going or what?" Miss Evangelista interrupted from behind them. River walked over to Drake. She placed a hand on his arm.

"It's not worth your life," she told him again. Drake glanced over at Rose one last time before he growled with obvious frustration.

"Oh, alright," he agreed. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

Everyone followed Evangelista down the hallway. The lights kept flickering, Drake kept muttering about his thirty million credits while occasionally glancing suspiciously at Rose and the Doctor casually made sure he was always between them.

"What's down there, that is so important?" the Doctor asked River. She glanced back at him over her shoulder.

"A data core," she said. "Property of the Lux corporation."

"What kind of data core could be worth this much?" Rose asked. River shook her shoulders.

"Don't know," she said. "Not part of my job."

"But you said you were an archeologist," Rose pointed out. "What interest do you have in a data core?"

"None," River replied. "But this ship. It's famous. No one knows what happened to it. So when it was finally found I simply couldn't resist."

"It never crossed your mind that, that something might just be something bad?" the Doctor asked. River glanced back at him with a smile.

"Definitely," she replied. "Why else would I come?"

Miss Evangelista had stopped at a heavy hatch door ahead of them. It had the wheel at its centre much like on a submarine.

"We need to get through here," she said.

"Out of the way," Drake pushed his way to the front.

"It's an engine room," Evangelista explained. "It should have a hatch to reach the upper deck." Drake clasped the wheel and pushed. Nothing happened.

"Damn, thing's stuck," he muttered. Jonathan Fox joined him. Both men put every effort in to it and finally managed to turn the wheel slightly.

"Maybe we should take another route," the Doctor suggested carefully.

"I agree," Rose said, both of them taking a step back. Maybe the door was sealed shut for a reason.

"We almost have it," Drake ground out as he and Fox pushed and pulled on the wheel. Finally it released.

The door flew opened, knocking Fox back. A floodway of water burst forth. Drake was pushed out of the way by the crushing force of it. The Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and yanked her around. They ran. The sound of the water behind them was deafening. If they didn't escape this, they'd drown. Rose dared a glance back. There was no escaping it. The torrent of rushing water was hammering down the hall. She couldn't see any of the others.

"Don't let go!" the Doctor screamed, his hand tightening around hers a second before the water hit them, knocking their feet out from under them.

Rose tried to hold on to the Doctor but she was torn from his grasp. She hit what she thought might be the wall. There was water everywhere. She couldn't breathe. There was no way of knowing what was up and what was down. She was being knocked about like a rag-doll when suddenly everything seemed to shift. Like if you were to get inside a barrel and roll down a hill. Only the barrel was filled with water and there was no air and you couldn't breathe.

Rose tried desperately to grab a hold of something, anything to stop the momentum. But there was too much water, too much force. She hit something else, hard. It made her instinctively gasp for breath but there was no air, only water. Panic grasped her. No air. Water. Everywhere water. She was going to drown.

She tumbled down, down, down. Her vision was turning black at the edges. Not that it mattered. There was nothing to see. Suddenly she landed hard. Water hammered away against her. She clung desperately to what she thought might be bars of some kind. Slowly the water began to ebb out.

Rose coughed, desperate to get the water out of her lungs. She dragged in a lungful of air, nothing had ever felt better. She coughed again, spitting out more water. She lay still for a while, just breathing. Her head was spinning, her body felt battered from the beating it had taken. But she was alive. She was breathing.

"Rose? Rose, you alive?" Rose blinked the water out of her eyes and looked towards the sound of the voice. River was lying a few feet away, her mass of curls a drenched mess.

"I'm alive," Rose croaked. "You?"

"I'll live," River replied. Both Rose and River seemed to be lying against a metal railing. Rose glanced down between the bars. Far, far down were big machinery, the water disappearing between the gears. If she had to guess, she would guess it was the ships engine. It was still and silent now. Rose closed her eyes, the high altitude giving her vertigo.

Rose was just about to struggle to rise when she felt the artificial gravity shift again.

"River," Rose said warningly. "Hang on to something." But there was no time. It started out slowly and suddenly it shifted all at once. Both Rose and River tumbled down into what was actually the floor.

Rose struggled up on her feet. Her head was spinning madly. All these gravity shifts were messing with her balance and she stumbled, catching herself against the railing. The floor was grated, the walls a dull metal. She saw the arched exit from whence they must have fallen. It was confusing and difficult getting your bearings knowing the gravity had shifted. What had been up was now down. She took a couple of steps forward. She felt her heart squeeze painfully inside her chest as she looked around. She could see no one but River struggling to rise next to her.

 _Doctor!_ she screamed in her mind but there was no response. She closed her eyes, trying to reach him through the bond but she felt the power inside her move restlessly the minute she let go of even a fraction of it. _Doctor!_ she screamed again. Nothing. She needed to calm down, she needed to focus.

"Rose," she heard River ground out.

"I can't reach him," Rose said frustratingly. River was getting up on all fours.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

Rose felt for that place in her mind where she could always feel the Doctor. Even when he'd done everything he could to block her out. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"He's alive," Rose sighed, leaning against the railing with a smile. "The Doctor's alive."

River was getting to her feet. "I don't know how you could possibly know that," she said. "But can you tell if anyone else made it as well?" Rose straightened, shaking her head.

"Then how can you tell the Doctor's alive?" River asked.

"I just can," was all Rose said as she glanced around the room. "Where are we?" Rose asked River. "Engine room, or something?"

"I think so," River said hesitantly, holding up her scanner and shaking it, water dripping out.

"You think?" Rose asked. River began pressing buttons on her scanner.

"This needs to dry," she said, shaking the scanner a couple more times to get rid of the water. Rose's eyes caught on shadows moving along the walls. Shadows that didn't quite move as they should.

"We should probably get going though," Rose said. River followed her gaze.

"Looks like you're right," she allowed. The lights flickered overhead, sending a chill down Rose's spine. The shadows moved across the floor.

"Run!"

Rose and River turned and ran. They ran down the walkway they were on, away from the shadows. Away from the Doctor. Because Rose could feel it. The further they ran the further she got from him. But wherever he was he would head for the ballroom and the TARDIS so that is where she had to go. But without Miss Evangelista's computer or River's scanner they had no way of navigating the ship. No way of knowing how to even get to the ballroom. Darkness spilled out in front of them. Rose grabbed River's sleeve, pulling her to a stop.

"Oh, my god," River breathed.

"This way," Rose said, hurrying over to a ladder attached to the wall.

"We don't even know where that goes," River pointed out, her gaze flickering desperately about, trying to see every shadow. But there were so many. The flickering lights didn't help.

"We'll just stay here and die then," Rose suggested sarcastically. River conceded with a grunt and climbed the ladder. Rose quickly followed. She could practically feel the Vashda Nerada closing in, snapping at their heels.

They desperately scrambled up, the shadows hunting them. Rose didn't dare to glance down. She knew there would be only darkness. River pulled herself up, frantically struggling up the ladder, Rose tight on her heels. The shadows were inches away. If they didn't hurry they would die right there. Screaming. If they didn't just fall, their bodies breaking on the cogs and gears far below.

"River! Hurry!" Rose screamed. Something in her voice must have alerted River to the urgency for she put on a last burst of speed and pulled herself up and over the ledge. River turned and reached down her hand for Rose. Rose stared at it for the blink of an eye. Taking River's hand meant putting her life in her hands for however brief a time and Rose found she couldn't quite bring herself to do that. Rose knew nothing about River Song except that she claimed a relationship with the Doctor. But who was to say if that relationship was good or bad? So Rose ignored the offered help and scrambled up on her own.

"You really need to start trusting me," River said.

"No, I don't." Rose replied as they both got to their feet and ran. They were on a platform, one metal door in front of them.

Rose yanked the door opened and crashed into some form of control room. River helped her quickly pull the door shut. Both backed away slowly, staring at the door. There was a round shaped window at the top of it and through it they saw nothing but darkness. Rose struggled not to think of the, probably, millions of flesh eating things on the other side of that door just waiting to strip the meat from their bones.

"Do you think they can get through?" River wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Rose replied, just as a shadow spilled in through the crack between the door and the floor. It crawled across the floor as both girls turned and ran.

They had to zigzag between the control panels around the room while everything grew steadily darker. There was a set of stairs leading to another door. That was what they were aiming for. But Rose could see the shadows creeping along the walls. They might not make it.

River reached the door before Rose did. She pushed it opened and hurried through just as shadows spilled out across the opening. Rose stumbled back. The fading light overhead caught on single things inside the shadows. Like dust in sunbeams.

"Rose!" she heard River scream, but Rose could not see her. The shadows were drawing closer, darkening everything around her. They took their time with their food, Rose thought. "Rose!" River screamed again, her voice desperate.

"Just run!" Rose screamed back.

"I can't leave you!"

"I'm not with him when you know him," Rose said, her eyes darting about, seeing the shadows crawling towards her across the floor. "Maybe this is what happens." The thought of not seeing the Doctor again made that pressure over Rose's chest that let her know they were separated squeeze just a little harder.

"No it isn't!" she heard River scream. "Trust me, it isn't!"

"Just shut the door, River. Shut the door and run."

"No!"

"Just go!" There was no point in River dying along with her. The thought made Rose gasp for breath. She didn't want to die here. Without him. Alone. In the darkness.

"I can't! This isn't how he looses you. I know it isn't!" River insisted.

"How would you know?" Rose asked, stumbling further back, wondering why the Vashda Nerada seemed to have a need for playing with their food.

"Because..." River began but fell silent. "Because you don't die," River said. "That's not what happens." Rose thought she could hear actual sorrow in River's voice. "You leave him, Rose."

You leave him.

Rose felt her heart stop dead inside her chest. It seemed as though the very fabric of time froze. She didn't feel it as her knees hit the floor. Didn't feel it as she lost control. The shadows were drawing back. When Rose opened her eyes she saw through the energy of the time-vortex. She saw through the eyes of Bad Wolf.

Rose began to feel the pain that was searing through her head. Things she couldn't understand, too much to make sense of flashed before her eyes. But she saw one thing. One thing that stood out. She saw herself walking away. Her choice would make River's timeline possible.

Rose wouldn't live out her life with the Doctor until old age or circumstance eventually claimed her. He wouldn't leave her behind when perhaps the realities of mortal life became too much for him. It wouldn't be he that faltered. It would be her. River's time with the Doctor would be the result of the choice Rose would make. And she would make it. She could feel it even now. The inevitability of it. She didn't know why but she knew she would. Rose would leave the Doctor.


	30. Chapter 30 - Echoes

Chapter 30 - Echoes

The Doctor stumbled and just managed to catch himself against the wall.

"Hey, what's wrong, mate?" Drake stopped and looked worriedly at him.

"It's Rose," the Doctor ground out. "Something's wrong." He slammed his fist against the wall. "I have to get to her." He pushed himself upright and stumbled down the hallway.

The Doctor had awoken wet and cold at the bottom of a staircase. No sign of Rose. For a moment he'd been scared out of his mind until he noticed the bond was very much still in his mind. He was still linked to her. She was still alive. So he'd immediately set out to find her, letting the bond guide him. The bond wasn't only a telepathic link. There were so much more to it. Probably more than he even suspected or knew. But he'd learned one thing it could do. It could allow him to find her anywhere. Anywhere in time and space. He'd literally bumped into Drake on the way but had as of yet not been able to find anyone else.

"Hey," Drake called, hurrying to catch up with him. The Doctor stumbled and Drake caught him. "Looks like you're in no shape to be runnin' anywhere."

"You don't understand," the Doctor said. "Something's wrong."

"Now how could you possible know that, eh?" Drake asked.

"I can feel it," the Doctor said. "She's in pain." He straightened and continued down the hallway.

"I knew there was something up with the pair ov ye!" Drake called after him.

The Doctor ignored him. Suddenly the whole place shook. Pain lashed through the Doctor at the same instant and he stumbled to a stop, struggling to stay upright. He leaned his back against the wall. Something was very, very wrong.

No matter how much he'd tried to block her out he had still been able to feel how fragile her control was since New Years. How easy it was for her loose it. But telling her to stay in the TARDIS had of course had the opposite effect. She never did what he told her to do. Which was probably one of the reasons he loved her. One could never be bored in the company of Rose Tyler. Exasperated and furious and ridiculously happy but never bored.

The Doctor fought to get the pain he felt across the bond under control. He couldn't allow it to overpower him. Then he'd be useless. Whatever was happening to Rose, he could not afford to be useless. The Doctor tried really hard to fight the image of her consumed by darkness, shadows stripping her flesh from her bones. He couldn't think like that. He had to focus. He wasn't going to loose her here. He wouldn't allow that.

"You ok?" Drake asked. The Doctor glanced up at him.

"I just need to get it under control." he said.

"I'll just pretend I understand what that means."

"Telepathic link," the Doctor explained, taking a long calming breath. "I can feel what she's feeling. It's really not that hard to understand."

"So what are you then eh? You're not human."

"She is. I'm not," the Doctor said, pushing away from the wall. The place shook again. Drake was looking around worriedly. The Doctor could feel Rose suffering.

"Feels like the whole damn place is falling apart," Drake noted. The Doctor didn't reply. He could deny it to himself all he wanted. But he knew what was most likely causing the ship to shake like it was. Rose. Rose loosing control. Rose burning.

The Doctor took another breath and began hurrying down the hallway, the need to get to her overwhelming everything else. Drake hurried to keep up.

"I take it you somehow know where she is too?" Drake asked.

"Not specifically no," the Doctor replied hastily. "But I know if I'm heading the right way or the wrong one."

"Handy."

"Very."

The two men ran down the simple hallway. They were in the bottom of the ship, none of the grandeur decorated these halls. They were simple, dirty and dusted. Suddenly the Doctor noticed that Drake was no longer by his side. He had to struggle to slow down and stop. Every inch of him needed to keep going, needed to find Rose. He turned around and found that Drake stood, staring at a door.

"Come on!" The Doctor told him. "Drake!"

"You go ahead," Drake said, still staring at the door. The Doctor hurried over to his side. There he noticed that it wasn't the door Drake was staring at it was a sign next to it. The door led to a stairwell and the sign told them where the stairwell led. Next to an arrow pointing down stood, CARGO BAY.

"Drake no..." the Doctor began. Drake reached out his hand and clasped the handle on the door. The Doctor grabbed his arm stopping him. "She could be dying," the Doctor told him harshly. Drake turned his eyes to the Doctor's. "We don't have time for this."

"You don't have time," Drake told him.

"Are your precious credits worth more than a life?" the Doctor asked him, anger rising in his gut. Why could people never realise that money wasn't the currency of life? Drake tore free from the Doctor's hold.

"Look mate, your girl's cute 'n all but I don't know her." Drake pushed opened the door.

"What do you need the credits for?" the Doctor asked. "What's so important you're willing to risk not only someone else's life but even your own?" Drake froze.

"There's a prize on my head," he said without turning around. "This is my chance to get my life back." The Doctor got the feeling Drake was holding something back. That there was something more to his story. But he didn't push. There was no time and no reason. If Drake wanted to go, the Doctor had no cause to stop him.

"Good luck then," the Doctor said.

"You too." Drake made to leave but stopped and glanced back. "I mean it," he said and disappeared.

The Doctor began running down the way they'd been heading. His mind focused on finding Rose. He didn't have time to worry about Drake and whatever underlying agenda he had. The tremors had stopped. Everything was still and quiet now. Too quiet. Too still. The Doctor turned a corner and suddenly bumped into Miss Evangelista and Fox. Fox immediately clasped his arm and spun him around while Evangelista screamed at him to run. But they were going the wrong way. He had to get to Rose. He tore free of Fox's hold.

"It's coming!" Evangelista screamed and the Doctor stopped dead. The hallway ahead of him was steadily turning darker, the shadows rushing towards them. He spun on his heel and ran after Evangelista and Fox even though every inch of him told him he was going the wrong way.

They ran down the hallway, the shadows at their heels. Further away from Rose. The ever smooth Jonathan Fox somehow stumbled, crashing to his knees. Both Miss Evangelista and the Doctor stopped and pulled him to his feet. As they did they both got a good look at the darkness rushing towards them. The shadows crawled along the walls, consuming the light. Faster and faster towards them.

They reached the door Drake had disappeared through. The Doctor pushed it opened and the others hurried in after him. They shut the door behind them and practically flew down the stairs.

"They came out of nowhere!" Evangelista said as they ran, terror and exhaustion in her voice.

"They moved so fast, like they were frenzied, rushing towards something."

"Or running away from something," the Doctor muttered, skipping steps in their hurry to escape down the stairs.

"What?" Miss Evangelista asked, as the stairs turned, all of them grabbing the railing to pull themselves faster onwards. "What could possibly scare them like that?"

"Something," was all the Doctor said. They crashed through the door at the bottom of the staircase and nearly knocked over Drake.

"What the hell-?" Drake stared in surprise at all of them. The Doctor shut the door. He ran over to a control panel at their side, running the sonic over it. The familiar whirring of the screwdriver preceded the sound of giant lights flickering on overhead.

The whole room lit up as the Doctor turned on the lights. They were in the cargo bay. It was huge. Countless crates and giant machinery filled the space. Machinery for handling whatever cargo the ship might be hired to transport. The big room flooded with light. Hopefully that would slow the Vashda Nerada down.

"We're in the cargo bay," Miss Evangelista redundantly remarked.

"Yes, we are," Drake said, heading towards a glass-incased room, filled with screens and controls.

"Wait! Drake! You're not still gonna look for the data- core are you?" Evangelista called after him. Drake turned back.

"Might as well while we're here, right?" Everyone followed Drake after only a moment of indecision. Everyone but the Doctor. He could still feel Rose. Which meant she was alive, if only barely. Because the link felt weak, Exhausted. drained. She could be lying alone, dying in the dark and he wasn't there.

He had to go. He had to get to her. A tight grip around his arm suddenly stopped him. He turned back to find Fox standing there. The Doctor stared in surprise at him as the large man shook his head. Eyes that had seen too much. That was the first thought the Doctor'd had when he first saw him. Too much bad. Too much darkness and betrayal. It had left its mark.

The Doctor tried to twist free of Fox's hold. But the man held him fast, shaking his head yet again.

"I can't leave her," the Doctor told him. "She's hurt..." Fox shook his head again. But the Doctor didn't care. Couldn't care. Not when Rose was out there. Alone. He tore free of Fox's hold, turned and walked away, intent on finding the quickest way out of the cargo bay.

"Believe."

The Doctor stopped. He had a beautiful voice, Jonathan Fox. A dark timbre, like the rolling of thunder in the night. It stopped the Doctor short because he was sure this was the first time he'd ever heard it.

The Doctor turned slowly back around.

"What?" he asked. Fox gave him a look that clearly spoke that he knew the Doctor had heard him perfectly. "You haven't spoken a word since we got here. And now you speak this one, why?" Fox gave a slight shake of his head. "You can't tell me? Why?" Still Fox said nothing.

"He can't tell you because every word he speaks is doomed to be a prediction. He's cursed or so Professor Song says." The Doctor shifted his eyes to see Miss Evangelista standing in the opening to the glass-incased room, staring at Fox in utter astonishment. The Doctor looked back at Fox.

"Is that so?" he said thoughtfully. Still Fox said nothing. "Perhaps best if you don't say anything else then," the Doctor remarked. He made to turn away but immediately Fox moved to stop him. The Doctor looked at him severely. "I don't care," he said. "I don't care what your prediction means. I care about her."

Drake appeared behind Evangelista, pushing past her.

"I found it!" he announced. He didn't wait for a response from anyone before he took off, disappearing among the crates and boxes. Fox pointed to one of those many boxes. It was opened. Why was it opened?

"I get it, you need me to figure out what's going on but she needs me too," the Doctor told Fox. The man parted his lips, just a little, drawing in a slow, even breath.

"If I believe in one thing," he said, in that calm, deep voice of his. "I believe in her." The Doctor barely noticed Miss Evangelista gasp, probably still shocked to hear him speak, but the Doctor was focused on Fox. The words he'd spoken weren't his. They were the Doctor's.

"That is not a prediction." the Doctor noted darkly, seeing the image of a self-named devil in his mind. The huge fiery beast that had set before him a choice. Sacrifice Rose and kill the beast or save her and let the beast free. He had chosen to kill the beast because Rose wasn't a victim. If there was one thing in the whole beautiful, retched universe that the Doctor believed in, it was her. It would always be her.

"I see now why you never say anything," the Doctor said and walked over to the opened box. "Everything you say is just...vexing." He peaked inside the box and started at what he saw. Books. The whole crate was filled with books. He looked out over the several hundred crates filling the room and saw some other ones that were also opened. Why were they opened? He walked over to another opened crate. It too was filled with books.

"Books. Why books?"

"The ship. It was bound for the Library," Evangelista told him, still sounding a little awestruck and confused.

"The Library."

"Yes, that big one they built. Whole planet. It never opened because this ship never made it there."

"The data- core," the Doctor said. "They needed the data core. What's so special about it?"

"Don't know."

They had made a whole planet into one giant library, containing every book ever written. The place was famous. And this hadn't been the only ship transporting cargo there. There must have been countless more. It must be the data- core. The data- core this Lux corporation had been willing to pay these people thirty million credits to get. But what about the Vashda Nerada? Where had they come from?

"I can practically see your brain working in a million miles per hour, Doctor," Miss Evangelista said. "What are you thinking?"

"The Vashda Nerada," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "They don't make sense."

"Why?"

"I told you. They live in forests. There are no forests on this ship."

A gut wrenching scream rang through the room. The kind of scream that curled your toes, born out of sheer terror. Everyone froze. Then the Doctor was running, Evangelista and Fox hot on his heels. They navigated through the maze of crates. Some stacks were piled so high they were almost blocking out the ceiling from view. The Doctor had a very bad feeling in his gut as they ran. That scream was the really, really bad kind. He'd heard ones like it enough in his lifetime. The pain of death ripped from a dying body.

They ran on until they turned a corner and a horrid sight made them all stop dead. At the floor next to a crate lay the skeletal remains of a human being. The Doctor had known they'd be too late. A cry escaped Miss Evangelista's lips and she turned away from the terrible sight. Fox's arm came around her and she buried her face against his shoulder. The Doctor's eyes fell on the clothes. The Vashda Nerada didn't consume fabrics. Only interested in flesh. They were Drake's clothes.

A blinking light in his hand caught the Doctor's eye. Something the size of a usb-drive lay in one skeletal hand. The data-core. He found it. A green light was blinking on it.

"Where am I? It's so dark." It was Drake's voice. Evangelista turned around, tears on her face.

"Oh my god, he's ghosting," she said with dread. "My sister used to say it's their souls that echo as they go."

"Where am I? It's so dark. Doctor?" The Doctor started.

"Drake."

"Doctor?" The Doctor took a step closer to what remained of Drake. He hunkered down next to him, picking the small bit of technology that now held the echo of his soul, out of his hand.

"I'm here," the Doctor said.

"Doctor?"

"I'm here," the Doctor repeated.

"I lied to you, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Drake."

"I lied to you, I'm sorry," Drake repeated in the exact same cadance, sounding like a broken record.

"It's ok," the Doctor said again, sadness filling his voice. "I'm so sorry." The Doctor turned the data-core off, silencing the echo.

The Doctor rose to his feet, putting the data-core in his pocket. "We have to go," he said. "The Vashda Nerada is here." He backed away from Drake's corpse, trying his best not to feel the loss. The waste. Another life gone.

"How did they get in here?" Miss Evangelista asked. "Did they get through the door somehow?"

"Or they were already here," the Doctor said, looking around. His eyes fell on one of the crates. The books. Oh dear lord, the books. "The books," the Doctor said.

"What about them?" Miss Evangelista asked, struggling to dry her tears, looking everywhere but at the friend she'd just lost. Fox still had his arm around her and he didn't seem inclined to let go.

"They were in the books. They hatched from the books."

"You said they lived in trees," Miss Evangelista pointed out.

The Doctor strode off, hurrying back between the mountains of crates. After a moment Fox followed, taking Miss Evangelista's hand and pulling her with him.

"And what are books made off?" the Doctor asked back to them as they rushed on.

"Oh, my god," Evangelista breathed as she figured it out. Trees. Books were made out of trees. That's how the Vashda Nerada got onto the ship.

"Is your computer still working?" the Doctor asked Evangelista.

"No, it got smashed when the water hit."

"Going on feeling alone then," the Doctor said, hurrying through the room. He'd helped them figure it out. Even got the damn data-core they wanted. He just wished he wouldn't have had to loose someone in the process. But there had been no stopping Drake.

I lied to you. The words echoed inside the Doctor's head as though Drake was still ghosting. I lied to you. The Doctor had a feeling he'd lied about his motives. Maybe they were honourable. Or maybe they were worse. And now they would never know because now he was dead. But there was no time to mourn him. It was time to find Rose.


	31. Chapter 31- Burning suns and dying stars

Chapter 31 - Burning suns and dying stars

River glanced over at Rose where she lay on the floor propped up against and old broken sofa. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow and uneven. River had no idea how hurt she was. Rose hadn't let River near her since they'd made it out of that room.

The image of Rose on her knees surrounded by burning ash, the ash drifting on the air like dying fireflies would forever be burned into River's mind.

She had no idea what had happened. Suddenly the entire room had lit up with a light so bright it hurt to look at. Like a bomb going off. River had just managed to pull the door shut. The entire ship had shook, cracks breaking up the walls. And then it had simply stopped. When River had dared to open the door again the entire room had been awash with ash. Some of it still on the air, sparking with latent fire and in the middle of it sat Rose, eyes burning with energy she shouldn't have. If River hadn't known better she'd say it had been regeneration energy. But that was impossible. Regeneration energy created. What River had seen had been utter destruction.

Once the glow had faded out of Rose's eyes River had cautiously made it over to her. She had struggled to get Rose to her feet but even though she'd been weak Rose had still managed to push River away. Tears had streamed down Rose's face and she had clutched her hands to her chest as though she had desperately been trying to keep something from spilling out. River had insisted they needed to go. They couldn't stay in that ashen room. But all Rose had done was repeat over and over again that she couldn't leave him. She could never leave him. River had tried to apologies. She had panicked when Rose had been trapped. Giving up because of what River had accidentally told her about her not being with the Doctor when River knew him. She'd been afraid that Rose would die in that room and that the future would rewrite itself. If Rose didn't leave him but died instead than maybe River would never meet the Doctor at all. River's time with him could not be rewritten. Not those times. Those wonderful, beautiful times.

So she couldn't leave Rose on the floor, covered in ash. She had to survive this no matter what. Only Rose hadn't seemed to care about anything River said. River had tried to calm her with reason, saying hearts changed even though she could see for herself that this thing, this only love wasn't the kind of thing that changed. Rose hadn't listened anyway. So River had taken a chance. A horrible, terrifying chance. To gain the girl's trust. River didn't need Rose to like her but she needed her to trust her. So River had leaned down next to Rose and whispered one word in her ear. Just one word. And the girl and gone absolutely still.

River had drawn away and looked into Rose's eyes, prepared for the worse. But there had been no fire but neither anything River could put a name to. Pain? Fear? Relief? Confusion? River had told her calmly that they needed to go and all Rose had done was nod. She had tried to rise on her own but when she'd noticed she couldn't she'd reluctantly allowed River to help her.

So she'd helped Rose out of the ruined, ash filled room. They had made it up two levels before Rose'd said she needed to stop. This room, filled with broken furniture had been as good as any.

"I want you to know that I love him," River suddenly said. Rose slowly opened her eyes. But she didn't look at River. "He is loved by so many, but by no one more than me."

"If you're trying to make me feel better..." Rose began after a while.

"I want you to know he's not alone," River interrupted her. Rose took a deep, uneven breath but said nothing. They both sat in silence, the heaviness of it pressing down on them.

"Is he..." Rose trailed off, struggling to get the words out. "Is he happy?" she asked.

"Yes," River said. "I mean you can see it in his eyes sometimes. The loss. But I didn't know how deep it went until I saw him now without it. With you. But, yes, I think he is happy." Rose clasped her shaking fingers tightly in her lap.

"And he... he loves you?"

River paused before she answered. "Not like he loves you," she said honestly. "But, yes I believe he does." Rose felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She was trying by will alone to keep her heart together and not let it fall apart. She told herself it was a good thing. If he could find the will to love someone again, it was a good thing. It just didn't feel good. The thought of it made it feel like she was dying. Like her soul was being ripped from her body. The Doctor was still far enough away that Rose could feel his absence. Like a physical wound, a pressure on her chest. Imagine that feeling multiplied by billions of lightyears and thousands of years. How would she ever be able to survive that?

"If I ask, would you tell me what happened back there?" River wondered. Rose didn't know what to say to that. She had shattered back in that room. She had burned the Vashda Nerada to dust and ashes. And she had burned too. She was damaged. On the inside. She could feel it. Just like she had been at Torchwood and probably after New Years as well. She needed the Doctor to help her heal, to help her focus. Because right now all she felt was hopelessness. She needed his arms around her. She needed to know that whatever horrors the future would bring for her it was not here yet.

"I lost control," Rose said.

"Lost control of what?"

"It's difficult to explain."

"You know you can trust me," River said. Yes, she did. Without the shadow of a doubt. Because the word that River had whispered in her ear had been a word Rose had never heard before. It wasn't even a word. Not really. It was a name. River Song had told Rose Tyler the Doctor's name.

Even though Rose knew she'd never heard it before the sound of it still resonated deep inside her. She'd known what it was the minute she heard it. She also knew there was only one way River could know it. Because the Doctor would love River one day. He would marry her one day. And how could Rose not trust someone so important to him? No matter how much it broke her heart.

"The Doctor he..." Rose trailed off. She had to find the right words. Words that were simple. "I was dying," Rose said. "He saved my life by replacing my dead cells with his own." Rose realised she used the Doctor's words. When he'd been too afraid to tell her the scope of what he'd done. The risks he'd taken to keep her with him.

"That's impossible," River said.

"Yeah well, a lot of things are impossible until you meet him," Rose said, shivering and hugging her arms around herself in a futile attempt to keep warm. Her clothes hadn't completely dried yet and space was cold.

"No, but that is impossible," River insisted. "Even if he found some way to do it you're human aren't you? When he talked about you he made you seem human."

"I'm human," Rose confirmed.

"Then there is no way. It would kill you."

"Just give it time," Rose said with sarcasm.

"No, Rose you don't understand," River said with a certain urgency. "Time Lords are not like humans they...-"

"Run on a different charge," Rose finished for her. "Yes, I know." Rose had already gone over all this with Annabelle Conn.

"Then how...?" River trailed off, staring at Rose with that strange expression again. The one she'd worn before, like she couldn't quite believe Rose was real. "The bond," she suddenly said. "He bonded with you didn't he?"

Rose started and for the first time she looked up at River, the shook she felt on her face.

"How do you even know about that? Did he...?" Rose found she couldn't finish that sentence. Could the Doctor do the same with River as he had with Rose? He'd told her he would never do it again, that he couldn't. But he had lied before.

"When I got my doctorate," River said. "My major was him."

"Your major was the Doctor?" Rose asked in confusion.

"Yes," River answered. "The Doctor, Time Lords, Gallifrey, the Time War. All of it. The first time I came across a mention of the bond was in an old nursery rhyme. I don't know how it survived Gallifrey's destruction but there were bits and pieces. Legends. If you only looked hard enough. They were a mighty race once."

"Do you remember it?" Rose asked. "The nursery rhyme."

River shuffled a bit uncomfortably. "I had to translate it from ancient Thal. I assumed they translated it from Gallifreyan so a lot maybe lost in translation."

"Tell me," Rose said.

"Through time and space,

burning suns and dying stars.

Through darkness, chaos

and the blackest wars.

Your soul no longer is your own.

yet never shall you be alone.

But know that the bond once forged may never be broken.

Not by life, will or death,

Not by time, pain or threat.

To only one you will always belong

until time whispers your final song."

Silence followed River's words. Rose felt a chill running down her spine. The rhyme too much resembled the words the Doctor had spoken. Those Gallifreyan words he'd had trouble translating. The words that had seemed more important than he'd initially let on.

"Or something like that," River said.

"It sounds a bit sad and...final," Rose said, leaning her head back, struggling for a moment to even out her shallow, uneven breathing. But every breath was a struggle. Rose already knew it was final. It felt final. No going back.

"That's how you could tell he was alright," River realised. Rose nodded. The bond was still there in her mind. It was reassuring. Knowing he was out there. No matter if she knew where they were headed. At least the Doctor would have River. River said he was happy with her. He must be. "How strong is it?" River asked. "The bond. How strong?"

"When you did your research, did you find out why it was only legend?" Rose asked back. River shook her head. "The bond is the reason Time Lord marriages were arranged, or so the Doctor says. Why they didn't marry for love. To prevent this ever happening. Because the bond is absolute. Like your rhyme said, your soul is no longer your own."

"Then how could you leave him?" River asked.

"I can't."

"But you do."

"I know and it will kill me. I'm sure of it." It was getting harder and harder for Rose to breathe. She needed the Doctor. "At least he will be alright." Rose turned her head to River, sadness in her eyes. "You'll make sure won't you?" Rose said. River nodded.

"I do. You have my word."

"Good," Rose breathed. "Good." She closed her eyes, feeling so monumentally tired.

"Rose? Are you alright?"

"I need you to do something for me," Rose said.

"What?"

"I need you to...I..." Rose struggled to get the words out. She was so tired. So drained. Every breath, every heartbeat hurt.

"Rose, what do you want me to do?" River asked.

"You have to go," Rose said.

"I'm not going to leave you here. Forget it." Rose could tell by River's tone that she had no intention of leaving. She thought the idea preposterous. But Rose needed her to leave because she needed the Doctor and River had to help her find him.

"You have to get the Doctor. I need him. Please," Rose asked of her, trying to convey how dire the situation was.

River sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I can't just leave you," River protested.

"I'll be fine," Rose promised. "If you find him. Things don't work so well when we're apart."

River thought for a moment and finally conceded. "Alright. I'll get him."

"Thank you, Professor Song."

River got to her feet. She stared down at the beautiful, pale girl that the Doctor loved so much he'd risked everything to save. Going against thousands of years of Time Lord doctrine in the process. She looked so fragile where she lay and yet the power pulsing inside her had levelled an entire room. She was probably the least fragile creature in the universe. River wondered what made the energy destructive in Rose but creative in the Doctor. What was it that was different with Time Lords and humans? Perhaps they were simply two pieces of the same coin. Creation and Destruction. Ying and yang. Balance. For you can't have one without the other.

"You can't tell him, you know," River said. "Spoilers and all that." Rose glanced over at her.

"I can't not tell him, River," Rose said.

"Sometimes you have to lie to protect the people you love," River repeated her words from earlier.

"It's not about that," Rose said. "I would protect him from this if I could but I can't. I literally can't. He'll know the minute he touches me."

"The bond it...?"

"I can't keep it from him."

River nodded. Rose had said the bond was absolute. That like the nursery rhyme your soul was no longer your own. She guessed it made sense that their secrets wasn't then either.

River reluctantly left the room, knowing she had an entirely new understanding of the Doctor and why he was the way he was. Things that hadn't made sense before made sense now. It all came down to this. To Rose.

River got the scanner out of her pocket and shook it. It flickered on.

"Ok, you old thing," River said. "Show me some life signs." The scanner blipped and lit up. River smiled and took off. Three life signs. Not far from where she was. She just hoped one of them was the Doctor. One of them had to be because if Rose was any indication he would be doing everything in his power to get to her. Everything and anything he could.

River hurried through the hallways, one eye on her scanner and the other watching the shadows. She was getting closer. River stopped. She thought she could hear voices.

"Doctor!" she called out. Silence followed her words. Then he appeared at the end of the hallway. He stared at her. "Doctor!" she called again, her voice filled with absolute relief. Two figures appeared next to him. Miss Evangelista and Jonathan Fox. A smile cleaved River's face. They were alive. The only one missing was Drake. And if River knew him he'd be running about around here somewhere. River ran on. Miss Evangelista and Fox hurried to meet her. Evangelista threw herself into River's arms.

"You're alive," Evangelista sighed with joy. "I knew you'd be." Evangelista and River pulled apart. River clasped Fox's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, smiling at him, thankful beyond words to see them. Fox smiled back at her, a touch of sadness in his smile.

"You haven't seen Drake around have you?" River asked. Both Evangelista's and Fox's faces fell. "What?" River asked them. "Have you seen him?"

"Professor," Evangelista began, struggling to get the words past the lump in her throat. "Drake he..."

"No, he is not dead. Do not tell me that infuriating, reckless boy is dead. Dont' you dare tell me that!"

"I'm sorry, professor," Miss Evangelista said. River shook her head.

"No, no, no." He couldn't be dead. Not Drake. He would never let himself get killed. Not while there was something he had to fight for. He wouldn't.

River could suddenly feel the Doctor behind her. His presence was always so tangible. She fought to get her grief under control. There would be a time for her to mourn. River turned around, facing the Doctor. His face was hard, it showed nothing.

"She needs you," River said and watched as all that hardness melted away. Concern, worry, fear all filled his face.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"I'll take you to her," River said.

They all hurried back the way River had come. It didn't take them long to reach the room where River had left Rose.

"She's inside," River told the Doctor. He gave her a nod and opened the door, stepping inside and leaving the other's behind. He found Rose on the floor, leaning against an old, dusted sofa. She was pale. Too pale.

He walked over and fell to his knees next to her.

 _Rose_... Carefully he reached out and touched his hands to her face. Immediately he felt the spark fire off across his skin. His blood seemed to run with sudden euphoria, electricity sizzling through his veins. For a moment he had to struggle not to get lost in the sensation. To not give himself over to it. He knew it could end badly now.

Rose stirred. Her eyes opened. A weak smile lit her face as she saw him. She took a deep breath, seeming to draw him in with her.

"You're hurt," the Doctor said.

"Lost control. I'm sorry." Her eyes fluttered shut in rapture. The Doctor ran his hands over the planes of her face. It felt as though it had been years since he'd touched her and he thought he could never be without this. No matter what, he could never survive without it. Rose reached up and wrapped her fingers around his hand, sighing contentedly.

"Let me help," he said. He moved his fingers up, towards her temples, ready to help her direct the energy inside her towards healing the damage that had been wrought to her all too human body. He did it even knowing he'd have to remove the walls he'd put up. The walls that hid his fear from her. Because he was afraid. So very afraid.

But as Rose realised what he was about to do it was she who drew back. Her hand tightened around his, halting him. He looked at her with surprise.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Her gaze dropped from his. "Rose, what's wrong?" She shook her head.

"I don't want you to see," she said.

"See what?"

"What's inside my head," Rose said, sadly. He'd been afraid of her seeing into his heart but she was now equally afraid of him seeing into hers.

His hands dropped.

"Secrets again," he said. Rose nodded.

"But I can't do it on my own," Rose said. "I need you. Just... don't hate me." The Doctor's eyes narrowed on Rose.

"I could never hate you," he said with utter conviction and put his fingers to her temples. Immediately he felt her reluctance to let him in. After all he was reluctant too. But when her walls came down it was hard to concentrate on helping her to heal. It was hard to keep his hearts from breaking.

He could tell she was trying not to think about it. Trying to spare him. But he hadn't taught her how to lock individual toughts or memories away. He should have taught her. But with the power and pain behind it it might not have mattered. They were both struggling so hard to hide something from the other and both were probably failing. Rose was. The pain of her thoughts was enough to send the Doctor to his knees had he not already been on the floor.

The minute she'd managed to heal fully he let her go, his breathing ragged from the mental exhustion.

"I'm sorry," Rose said, her voice filled with pain.

"You leave me..." he breathed. He looked back up at her to find there were tears in her eyes. "You can't leave me," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm so sorry." He drew back, his mind a scramble because hers had been. He couldn't quite make sense of her conviction or where it came from but he knew she believed it.

"I don't understand," he mumbled. Rose sat up. She clasped his hand.

"It's ok though," she said. He stared at her as though she'd gone insane. "You... you won't be alone. You'll have her."

"What?"

"Professor Song. She..."

"She's not you," the Doctor interrupted her angrily, wondering what the hell she was talking about, fearing she'd truly lost her mind. If the energy burning through her had fried her brain.

"Doctor..." Rose began. He didn't like the look in her eyes. That sad sort of certainty. Like she somehow thought his heart wouldn't break along with hers. Then Rose said four words that didn't make anything alright at all. "She knows your name."

The Doctor simply stared at her, too stunned to comprehend a single thing that had come out of her mouth.

"I know what that means," Rose said. "You told me once, remember? You told me there was only one time you could ever tell anyone your name. I know what it means."

"How do you know?" the Doctor barked out, harsher than he had intended.

"What do you...-?"

"Have you ever heard my name before?" he asked. Rose looked at him bewildered.

"No, of course not... I..."

"Then how could you know that what she said was my name?" the Doctor interrupted. "How?"

"I dunno...I... I just felt it."

"Felt it?"

"Yeah, like it's just... written on..."

"The inside of your heart? Under your skin?" the Doctor finished for her harshly. Rose nodded, confusion in her eyes. "That's because I told you," the Doctor said. "I told you my name." Rose shook her head.

"No, you didn't," she denied.

"Yes, I did," the Doctor insisted but Rose kept shaking her head, refusing to believe him. "When you were dying and I..." he trailed off. If he ever was going to tell her. He knew it wouldn't be easy. "I just wanted to do it right. Do it properly." Rose stared at him in fear and confusion.

"What are you talking about?" The Doctor took her hand.

"Those words in Gallifreyan. You asked me what they meant."

"You said they meant; I love you," Rose said, hesitantly.

"They do. But they're not just words, Rose." His gaze dropped from hers. A coward after all.

"What are you saying, Doctor?"

The Doctor forced himself to look back up at her, fighting his fear. He owed her that much and so much more. He owed her everything.

"They were vows," he said. He felt through the hold he had on her hand how she tensed up.

"You were dying and I only had one way of saving you. I just wanted to do it right," he said again. "So I..." the Doctor took a deep breath. "...told you my name and said the vows. Do you understand what I'm saying?" But Rose shook her head.

"No, You can't have. I don't remember this."

"I know," the Doctor said, pain in his eyes. "Don't you think it kills me?" he asked. "Looking into your eyes while you tell me I marry someone else when I know I could never do that, but you don't even remember why." He reached out his hand and trailed it down the side of her face.

"Through darkness and chaos," Rose said.

"What?"

"River, she knew this old Gallifreyan nursery rhyme or something that mentioned the bond. It said that once forged it could never be broken. Not by death or time or will. You really did something irreversible didn't you?" The Doctor's gaze dropped form hers. He nodded.

"If I was going to do it I just wanted to do it right."

"Right? By marrying me while I was practically dying?"

"You still have to consent," the Doctor said. He looked back up at her, his hold on her hand tightening. The bond flared up between them, in tuned with the intensity in his eyes. "But that's all you have to do, Rose," he said. And Rose could feel the fragile joy he felt across the bond. "Just say yes and I'm yours in every way that could ever matter and no one could take that away from us. Not River Song, not anyone."

Rose's first instinct was to say yes. Of course it was. But how could she? How could she give a promise she knew she wouldn't keep? She pulled her hand out of his.

"I can't," she said, her voice shaking. The Doctor drew back, his utter shock evident in every line of his face.

"What?" he asked, his voice so filled with the pain of betrayal it broke Rose's heart.

"I can't," Rose repeated.

"Why? You love me, I know you do. Don't even try to tell me you don't, Rose." Rose looked up at him.

"Of course I do," she hastened to reassure him. "I love you more than I could ever tell you. I feel like I can't breathe without you."

"Then why?!"

"Because I'm going to leave you!"

"Why would you think that?"

"River, that's how you come to be with her. You don't loose me. I don't die. I leave."

"Did she tell you that?" the Doctor spat. "And you believed her?"

"She didn't just tell me, I saw it. I knew it."

"One possible future Rose. It isn't set in stone. It's not a fixed point." He took a hold of her, pulling her closer. "We are a fixed point," he growled. "You and me. We are fixed. We can't be undone."

"No, we can't," Rose agreed. "But everything has its time and everything ends." The Doctor shook his head.

"No, it ends with my dying breath not a moment before."

Rose blinked tears out of her eyes, struggling with utter futility to keep herself together. She remembered more of River's nursery rhyme.

To only one you will always belong.

She would belong to him. Until time ended or until she died. She knew that and yet she equally knew she'd leave him. What could happen that was so bad that leaving was the better option?


	32. Chapter 32 - Mayflies

Chapter 32 - Mayflies

"I love you." Rose stared at the Doctor. He'd told her he loved her before. It wasn't a daily occurrence but every time he said it he got this look. Like he was desperate to convince her the words were true. "Do you understand that?" he said. Rose tried to pull away from him.

"Of course I do," Rose said.

"I don't think that you do." His hold on her tightened, drawing her back. "I haven't let myself..." he swallowed hard. "Not for a long time and never like this. If you could comprehend even a fraction of what I feel for you, you would never leave me. You couldn't."

Rose just stared at him. His words echoed her own thoughts. She had told River that leaving the Doctor would destroy her and perhaps it would. But she would still leave.

"Obviously I can," she said, not capable of looking him in the eye as she said it.

"You promised me forever. Did that promise mean nothing then?" he asked.

"Of course it did," Rose said.

"Then why wouldn't you want...?"

"I love you, Doctor. You know I do. Isn't that enough? Do you need the words?"

"Did you?" he asked. Rose froze. "When you stood on that beach. Did you need the words?" Rose closed her eyes to the terrible pain in his eyes. "Did you!?"

Rose couldn't force the answer from her lips. Because it was yes. Yes, she'd needed the words. She had needed to hear him say it. To openly acknowledge it. To take the leap on faith alone.

"How can you promise me forever but not give me a, yes? What is the difference?" Rose was shaking her head.

"But that, yes, is your forever too," she said. "Doctor, just think about it. You're going to be alive for, hopefully a very long time. It would just be stupid of you to give a promise to a human who will live for the blink of an eye."

"Stupid?"

"Yes, we're nothing but mayflies to you. We live for a day."

"No, not you."

"Yes, and even if I wasn't. If I could spend the rest of your life with you I won't. I'll still leave you." Rose finally opened her eyes and looked at him. She could see all the turmoil flickering by inside those beautiful eyes of his. "I can't give you a promise I know I won't keep, " Rose said and finally saw a crack appear in his certainty. The crack splintered out like cracks on a mirror and Rose could do nothing but watch as that turmoil in his eyes turned to stone.

"Right," he said.

Rose swallowed hard as she saw the withdrawal. She suddenly realised that she hadn't appreciated just how open he'd been with her since everything happened. He'd actually allowed himself to love her and not only that, he'd let her see it. He hadn't shied away from telling her how he felt. These last few months hadn't been a guessing game. She'd known. No matter the horror at New Years or even him blocking her out now. She'd still known how much he loved her through all of it.

It hadn't been like it had in the beginning when she had first started travelling with him. When every chink in his armour had been hard earned. When he hadn't even been able to get the words out as she'd been standing on that beach staring at a projection of him and they'd both known they'd never see each other again. He'd burned up a sun just to say goodbye but he hadn't been able to say; I love you.

But as Rose watched, that armour came back on.

"You're right," he said again. "Of course. You're right." He got to his feet, leaving Rose staring at the floor. "We should get going," he said. Rose nodded without looking at him. She used the edge of the sofa to get to her feet. The Doctor had helped her heal but loosing control twice in such a short period of time had still taken its tole. She felt drained. Exhausted. Like she could sleep for a century.

The Doctor turned away from her, heading for the door.

"Doctor..." Rose felt it a second before it hit.

"Hold on to something," the Doctor called out. And then the gravity shifted. But there was no time to hold on to anything. They both tumbled down, falling along with the broken furniture. Everything shifted ninety degrees. Rose and the Doctor crashed into the wall that was now the floor.

They were lucky enough to land mostly on cushions from the old sofa.

Rose blinked dust out of her eyes just in time to see a table coming, hurtling at them.

"Look out!" she called, pushing the Doctor out of the way and rolling to the side, avoiding the falling table by inches. It crashed down right between them.

"Rose?" the Doctor coughed. "Rose, are you ok?!"

"Fine," Rose assured as she too coughed. Dust was everywhere. The door high above them opened and River and Fox peaked out of the opening.

"Are you alright?!" River called down to them urgently. Both Rose and the Doctor confirmed that they were. River and Fox looked unharmed as far as they could see.

"Evangelista?" the Doctor asked.

"She's fine," River assured. "We have to get you out of there." The Doctor shook his head.

"Gravity should shift back," he said.

"Should?" River asked.

"Eventually."

"What if the Vashda Nerada come?" Rose pointed out. "What then?"

"Well, I don't see a way up," the Doctor told her. "Do you?"

Rose looked at the room. All the old furniture had tumbled down with them. It was all lying around them. It wasn't a huge room but right now the expanse up to the door, opened like a trapdoor in a ceiling, seemed leagues away. Rose struggled up among the rubble.

"We could probably climb those boxes over there," she said pointing to one corner were boxes and furniture had landed on top of each other. She pushed the table, between her and the Doctor away. He glanced over to the rubble pile she indicated.

"Yes, that looks very stable," he said with sarcasm.

"We can't just sit here," Rose told him. "We don't know when the gravity might shift back and we have no idea if there are any Vashda Nerada about."

"Exactly." The Doctor got to his feet next to her. "We don't know when the gravity will shift back and I'd prefer not to be climbing about in a virtual death trap when it does."

"Fine," Rose said. "Wait here if that's what you want." She struggled past him, making her way through the rubble.

"Rose..."

"What!?" she ground out in frustration as she tripped over a broken chair.

"I know you don't like listening to me but could you just for once...-"

"I listen to you," Rose interrupted him. "When you have something sensible to say."

"Everything I say has sense," the Doctor said, after her. Rose laughed.

"Ninety percent of what comes out of your mouth, Doctor is nonsense. Pure, bloody nonsense."

"Well, this isn't," he insisted as Rose reached the pile of stuff that looked somewhat climbable. She knew the Doctor had a point. If the gravity shifted at the wrong time or the wrong way she could get seriously injured. But she had to move forward. She couldn't stay still. No matter how exhausted she was she couldn't stay still. Staying still meant facing truth's she'd rather avoid at the moment. Because even if the Doctor thought he'd successfully kept it hidden from her. She had felt his fear when they linked. He hadn't been able to hide his innermost thoughts much better than she had. And the reason he'd been blocking her out was fear. Worse than she'd thought. He was afraid. Afraid enough that he hadn't wanted her to know what he feared. She hadn't been able to tell now either. Only that he was scared of something. Really scared.

They were falling apart. Everything was falling apart. Just like the old ship. Breaking down. Loosing gravity.

Rose reached up for a handhold but the Doctor was there stopping her.

"Don't be reckless just to spite me," he growled in her ear.

"Not everything is about you."

"Hey!" River called from above. Both the Doctor and Rose looked up. River and Fox had apparently managed to find a rope and had lowered it down while Rose and the Doctor had been busy arguing. "Are we interrupting you two or...?" Rose left the Doctor and hurried over to the rope to find it wasn't a rope at all but a length of cable. It was thick enough that it would be possible to climb. Nothing for a bronze gym medalist, Rose thought as she tried her best to ignore the tiredness in her muscles. Piece of cake.

She grabbed a hold of the cable and began climbing. It was slow going. A couple of times she almost lost her grip but just managed to stop herself from falling. She clung to the cable, simultaneously pulling herself up and pushing off with her feet. She panted with the effort. Running was nothing. By now she could probably run a marathon. But apparently, if she was going to be doing this again she needed to work on her upper body strength.

"Rose...?" she heard the Doctor's warning voice just beneath her.

"What?" she asked.

"Look at the shadows," he said. Rose turned her head. There had been a light on the ceiling that was now a wall. It gave off a weak cold glow. Rose looked at the shadows on the walls. Some looked distorted and twisted from the amount of rubble and furniture that had been tossed about as the gravity shifted but others stretched towards them, elongated and contorted like clawed fingers. The lamp flickered, for a second casting the room in darkness, the only light coming from the hallway overhead. The light spilling down from the opened door illuminated the Doctor and Rose as they dangled on that piece of cable. But for a second the rest of the room was in darkness. The light flickered back on and Rose gasped. The shadows had moved, they were moving even now, stretching, reaching towards them.

"Don't these things ever give up!" Rose said in frustration, trying and failing to keep the fear from her voice.

"They come to where the meat is," the Doctor said bellow her. The light flickered again and Rose felt her stomach tie itself into a knot. "Go," the Doctor urged, a slight quiver to his voice. "Rose, go."

Rose pulled herself up on the cable. She could feel the shadows closing in. The room was getting steadily darker.

"Hurry!" River frantically urged from overhead. Rose struggled up the rope, the Doctor right behind her. The claw-like shadows stretched out towards them, the Vashda Nerada ready to consume them both. River reached down her hand for Rose. Rose didn't hesitate this time. She knew she could trust River now. Whether she wanted to or not.

Rose clasped River's hand and River helped pull her up through the doorway. Rose crawled up and turned around just to see the Doctor emerge. River helped him too. Fox managed to slam the door shut behind them. Everyone got to their feet. Except Miss Evangelista. She was sitting on the floor, blood smeared her forehead and ran down her temple. It looked like she had hit her head. Badly. Fox reached down and pulled her up. She moaned in pain and he gave her hair a brief kiss as to say, sorry.

"You told me she was fine," the Doctor said to River.

"I told you what you needed to hear. You're no use when you get emotional," River said as she turned away from him, her eyes on the scanner in her hands.

"Emotional?" the Doctor spat. "I'm not emotional." River glanced back at him.

"Is that so? And what else do you call that little lovers spat down there while the Vashda Nerada were crawling in through the cracks ready to eat you?!"

"Stop bickering," Evangelista interrupted them weakly where she half stood, half leaned against Fox. "You're worse than and old married couple."

Rose felt her heart contract painfully inside her chest at Evangelista's innocent words.

"She's right," Rose managed to get out, swallowing hard. "We should go." The Doctor gave River one last glare before he moved.

Everyone began hurrying down the hallway. Their surroundings were getting steadily fancier. A painting or two started gracing the walls they were now running on. No one paid much mind to it. There were other things that demanded their attention. The lights flickered as they ran, making all the shadows seem as though they were moving, hunting them and maybe they were.

"Gravity's about to shift!" the Doctor suddenly called out. Everyone stopped. It didn't start out slowly this time. It just shifted before any of them had much time to react. They all tumbled down to the floor. Fox did his best to shield Evangelista from further injury. Rose was the first back on her feet. But she immediately regretted her haste. Dizziness made her stumble, catching herself against the wall and clutching her head. Her balance was completely messed up.

"It really needs to stop doing that," River said as she rose from the floor swaying only a little. Fox was kneeling in front of Miss Evangelista who was looking deathly pale where she sat. The Doctor stood up and made his way over to them.

"How is she?" he asked, standing behind Fox. The man shook his head.

"Mind if I take a look?" the Doctor asked.

"Perhaps we should get somewhere a bit more secure," River suggested.

"Nowhere's secure," the Doctor said without looking at her. River glanced up at the flickering lights in the ceiling.

"Well, at least somewhere with better lighting," she said. The Doctor sighed but conceded.

"Fine," he said. He looked down at Miss Evangelista. "You think you can make it?" he asked her. The girl nodded, wincing a little as she did. "We'll get you out of here. I promise." Evangelista gave him a small thankful smile. "Alright then." The Doctor straightened. "I'll go ahead, try to find somewhere we can stop for a moment. You three make sure she makes it," the Doctor said, pointing at Evangelista.

"I'll go with you," Rose said and moved to follow him.

"No," the Doctor said immediately. Rose stopped dead. "Stay with them. I'll be back soon." And he took off, running down the hallway, Rose watching him go. He wasn't abandoning them, she told herself. He would never do that. Yet her heart twisted painfully inside her chest. What did he really have to come back to?

Fox took a hold of Miss Evangelista and helped her up.

"Alright, let's go," River said, immediately taking the lead.

They made their way down the hallways and up stairs, but moving at a pace that was easier on Evangelista. River dropped back a little to walk next to Rose.

"I'm sorry," she said. "For everything. Truly I am. But you shouldn't have told him."

"I didn't tell him," Rose said with a bit of annoyance. There weren't many choices when the bond took over. She'd tried to hide the pain and fear of what River had told her hidden away but she hadn't been able to. If they let it the bond would probably meld their minds together so completely that they'd know every last thing about the other. Every hidden fear, every dark desire.

"Surely you're able to hide certain thoughts from him. Memories and feelings you don't want him to see," River said. Rose shook her head.

"Not when we touch. Not even he can. And he's had a lot more practice than me."

"You see everything inside his head?"

Rose shifted a bit uncomfortably.

"No, it's not like mind- reading really," she explained reluctantly. "It's more like I feel what he feels. It's hard to explain."

"I bet he just loves that," River said, sounding as though he definitely wouldn't love that at all.

"What do you mean?"

"Someone seeing into his heart, into his soul. Being vulnerable, can't imagine he likes that very much."

"It's rather difficult to dislike it," Rose said. "Fear it, sure but not dislike it." River raised her eyebrows in question. "When we touch it's... " Rose trailed off. How could she possibly explain the rush of feeling his skin against hers? The way her blood seemed to sing, her entire body coming alive. "Powerful," she said.

"Powerful?"

"Yeah, look River..." Rose rubbed at her arms, she couldn't get warm with her clothes still being wet. "... it's kind of private and I couldn't properly explain it anyway."

"Sorry,' River apologised. "It's the scientist in me. I need to understand everything. And since I'd thought it was nothing but tragic fairytales..."

"Tragic?"

"Well... the stories and legends I found, none of them ever really ended well."

"And how did they end?"

"In pain and destruction." River took a deep breath. "But don't worry. Probably just Time Lord propaganda. They'd forbidden it right?"

"Yes," Rose confirmed quietly. "But they wouldn't have done so without a reason."

River stopped and Rose followed suit.

"Rose, I won't pretend that whatever is between you and the Doctor isn't scaring me because it is. They way he looks at you..."

"Like loving me is killing him and he doesn't care?" Rose suggested darkly, remembering Tom's words back at Torchwood.

"Kind of, yes," River agreed. "Or more like he knows it might end up killing him but he doesn't care if it does."

"Right," Rose said, and began to walk away.

"Rose." Rose reluctantly stopped. "I'm sorry it's just that love like that is... well it's beautiful in a way, if you can call it love. But it's dangerous too. To be that consumed by another person. I see how you look at him too you know."

Rose was clenching her hands into fists, her eyes squeezed tightly shut for a moment. River's fears too closely mirrored her own.

"If not love then what would you call it?" Rose asked.

"I don't know. An obsession? An addiction?"

Rose'd had all these thoughts before. She knew when she'd chosen to stay with the Doctor that it was a dangerous choice and that they'd most likely suffer for it. But at the thought of not being with him she had suddenly lost the ability to stand, or breath or function at all. Perhaps it was an addiction. Perhaps this thing between them was toxic. Maybe the reason Time Lords forbade it was because it just destroyed everything it touched?

"We should get going," Rose said. "We promised the Doctor we'd help Evangelista." Fox and Evangelista was way ahead of them at this point. River nodded.

"You're right." she said. "I just wanted you to know I was sorry."

"Noted," Rose said before hurrying off to catch up to the others, River quickly following. Every conversation with River too swiftly turned painful in some way no matter the woman's good intentions. And Rose wasn't sure she could take anymore at the moment. She just wanted to get off this cursed ship.

The two girls caught up to Fox and Evangelista. Rose looked at Evangelista as she struggled forwards with Fox's help.

"How are you doing?" Rose asked the girl, finding it easier to focus on Evangelista's struggles than her own.

"Dizzy," she said, her voice weak. "Tired."

"We're almost there," Rose assured her and Evangelista gave her a weak smile. They reached a staircase and slowly began climbing it. Fox had one of Evangelista's arms draped across his shoulders and the other she used to hold on to the railing, pulling herself upwards. That's when Miss Evangelista suddenly collapsed.

Fox caught her. He eased her down gently onto the wooden stairs, looking up at River and Rose. Worry and fear in his eyes. Rose hunkered down next to Fox. She moved some of Evangelista's hair out of the way to better inspect the damage. The blood had dried so it was hard to see much but it was enough to let Rose know it was bad. At least it had stopped bleeding.

"She can't continue," Rose said, looking up at River. "We need to stop." River pulled her scanner out of her pocket and looked at it.

"The Doctor's heading back towards us I think," River said. "Maybe he's found somewhere for us to hold up." Rose turned to Fox.

"Can you carry her?" Rose asked him. Fox nodded resolutely. "Thank you, Jonathan." Rose gave him a smile and he cringed.

"Doesn't like Jonathan," River said. "Don't know why." Rose got to her feet and Fox picked Evangelista up. He was a big guy, she looked almost child-like in his arms. "I've told him Jonathan is better than Fox. That a fox used to be an animal. But he insists," River was saying.

"Well, then Fox it is," Rose said and he gave her a grateful smile.

They made their way up the stairs and through a set of revolving doors, stepping into what looked like a fancy restaurant. Or more like it used to be a fancy restaurant. Most of the tables had been shoved to the sides, making way for crates and tools and boxes. One entire wall was adorned with windows, showing them the darkness of space, stars shining far off in the distance. Everything around them was covered in dust. The gold filigree around doorknobs and along the edges of the walls were dulled, their shine long since gone.

A set of double swing- doors burst opened from across the room and everyone froze until they realised it was the Doctor. His eyes immediately landed on Evangelista, unconscious in Fox's arms.

"She collapsed on the stairs," Rose said. The Doctor hurried over to them. He looked Evangelista over quickly.

"Put her down over here," the Doctor said. Leading the way to a corner with a set of couches. Fox gently laid her down, being extra careful with her head. He took a reluctant step back. The Doctor hastily ran his sonic-screwdriver over her.

"Concussion," he said. "But no haemorrhage. Not yet at least."

"Will she be ok?" Rose asked.

"I don't know. Head injuries are tricky. She'll need proper medical care." The Doctor turned back, his eyes catching Fox's. "She needs to get off this ship," he said. The two men simply looked at each other for a moment until Fox nodded, assuming the responsibility. The Doctor gave the man a nod in turn. "Good man." He rose and stepped back, letting Fox kneel down next to Evangelista. He took her hand in his.

Rose sat down in a couch next to them.

"Is there anything we can do?" Rose asked as she watched the girl.

"Not at the moment," the Doctor said. "Cleaning the wound would be good but I doubt we'd find anything clean enough in this place." Rose hated feeling this powerless to do something. She'd noticed that Drake wasn't with them and since no one spoke of him she assumed he was gone. But she didn't have the heart to ask. Either way, they didn't need to loose anyone else. She turned her head to ask the Doctor if he'd found a way to the ballroom when she noticed he wasn't there. He had wandered off, sitting down in one of the dining room chairs that had been pushed to the side to make room. He had his head in his hands and looked tired. So very tired.

Rose began to rise, intent on going over to him but froze as she saw River beating her to it. Rose sank slowly back down. She forced her gaze away as River walked over to the Doctor.

River stopped in front of him. She didn't say anything until he raised his head and looked at her. The Doctor's eyes were dark. Even though he looked exhausted there was not a hint of any deeper emotion than weariness in his eyes. But River might be the one person besides Rose that he couldn't fool. Whatever he was really feeling it was causing him enough pain that he was doing everything he could to keep it from leaking out. Creating a wall between his outside appearance and what was in his heart. It had always been the way he cooped with all the horrors the universe tended to throw at him. By putting on armour so thick nothing could penetrate it. So no one could see him.

His eyes shifted from River's. River didn't need to turn around to know what his gaze was drawn towards. He was watching Rose, as he always was. Even when he wasn't looking he was always aware of her as she was of him.

When River had first read about the bond, she'd thought it an intriguing idea but had initially dismissed it as nothing but a fairytale. Until she'd found it mentioned again and again. Never anything concrete and always masked as legends rather than facts. But it had still got her thinking. What if? What if the legends were true?

She had wondered but she'd never dared to ask the Doctor about it. It was rare he spoke of such things at all. Love. Loss. And now River understood why.

River saw the barest twitch in the muscles right below the Doctor's eye and his jaw suddenly clenched tight. Telltale signs for anyone who knew him well enough.

"How can you call it love if it hurts you this badly?" River asked, unable to hide neither the sadness nor the hint of condemnation in her voice.

The Doctor slowly shifted his eyes to River's. He watched her for a moment, his eyes calculating. Then he leaned forward.

"It's love..," he said. "...because it's worth it."


	33. Chapter 33 - Oblivion

Chapter 33 - Oblivion 

"Worth it?"

"Yes." The Doctor took a deep breath. "Every painful beat of my hearts right now or every agonising breath when I'm not with her. It's all worth it for just one of her smiles. Just one. She is seared into my soul, River."

"I've never heard you talk like this," River said. The Doctor shook his shoulders.

"If anything you say has any truth I must be quite the different man when you know me."

"You are," River confirmed. "And I begin to see why. It's all her. Everything comes back to her." River laughed without humour, shaking her head. "A lot of things make sense now," she said. "A lot more sense." And she left him.

The Doctor watched as Rose took over sitting by Evangelista while Fox went over to River. The Doctor let his head drop back into his hands. River was a mystery. A mystery wrapt up in an enigma. And he was so tired, he didn't have the strength to figure her out. Right now he just wanted the quiet moments back. The rare ones when it was just him and Rose in the TARDIS, eating breakfast or just talking. He loved watching her talk about something she was passionate about. Or when she told him stories of her life before he knew her. She would come alive in a way he'd never before seen someone come alive. As she spoke she would slowly light up form the inside in way that had nothing to do with the power surging within her. She had always been like that. Shining like a sun. She was the sun to him. Shining into his darkness. And he was just as dependent on her as the earth was of its burning star.

The Doctor raised his gaze to Rose where she sat with Miss Evangelista. But as he did, his blood froze in his veins.

"Get out of there now!" the Doctor screamed, shooting to his feet.

Rose looked up. The Doctor's terrified eyes made her look behind them. She instantly got to her feet. Shadows were creeping along the floor. And no ordinary shadows. There was a sinister quality to these. The kind that curled your toes and made your blood run cold. Vashda Nerada. Rose didn't think. She just acted, grabbing a half unconscious Evangelista and pulling her to her feet.

Rose had sat with Evangelista while Fox had been off talking to River. Or River had talked at him while Fox nodded or shook his head. Rose thought she'd heard Drake's name mentioned. And for a moment it had looked as though River might break down and cry. But only for a moment. River seemed to be the kind of person who stayed strong in any situation. She wouldn't allow herself to break down.

Rose pulled Evangelista with her. The Doctor and Fox were rushing towards them despite the danger. Despite the shadows snapping at their heels. It was like the Vashda Nerada knew they were close to escaping. Like they knew their window of opportunity was closing. Evangelista suddenly clutched Rose's sleeve.

"I'm sorry," she breathed and then her knees gave away under her. Rose stumbled under the girl's weight and they both went down. Rose flipped over, staring back at the darkness. She scrambled back, grabbing Evangelista's arm and trying desperately to pull her with her. Someone grabbed Rose and yanked her to her feet. She lost the grip on Evangelista. She tried to struggle out of the hold the Doctor had on her. Because of course it was him. But his arms tightened around her and pulled her back.

Fox blew past them and fell to his knees next to Evangelista. The Doctor took Rose and pushed her away. Then he went for Fox. He grabbed his arm.

"Stop," the Doctor told him. Fox glared back at the Doctor. "Stay away from her." Fox's anger turned to confusion. Rose watched as the shadows, that had chased them so ruthlessly a second ago, drew back. But they left one. One shadow stayed with Evangelista. It looked like any regular shadow, holding her exact shape. But it couldn't be. It's position didn't make sense. Not with Evangelista lying down like she was. The Doctor pointed the shadow out to Fox. "They've attached themselves to her," he said. "It's too late."

Fox pulled free of the Doctor's grip, not prepared to accept that. He turned Evangelista around. She blinked up at him.

"Just don't let your shadows cross," the Doctor said. "Please."

"Am I dead?" Evangelista asked, looking up at Fox. He shook his head. She glanced over at the Doctor.

"The Vashda Nerada, they've attached themselves to you," he explained sadly. "I can't stop it. I..." He ran his fingers frustratingly through his mass of hair, looking around as though the solution could be found somewhere around him. "I'm sorry." Tears spilled down Evangelista's cheeks but she still managed to give the Doctor a faint smile. A thankful one. Thankful for him trying. She turned back to Fox.

"Don't be sad," she told him. Fox shook his head, clearly struggling to hold back tears. That's when Rose realised. How could she even have missed it? Evangelista and Fox loved each other. Rose had been too caught up in her own world and her own struggles to see it. They'd been in love and she had missed it.

River came up next to Rose. She clasped Rose's arm tightly to get her attention.

"Look," she said, her voice getting caught in her throat as she struggled to contain her emotions. Rose looked around the room. The rest of the shadows that she'd thought had for some reason retreated hadn't done so at all. They were moving around the room. They were surrounding them.

"Oh, my god," Rose breathed. Evangelista was a distraction. To give the Vashda Nerada time to trap them. They could think. "Doctor..." He looked up from Evangelista and Fox. Rose nodded in the direction of the Vashda Nerada as they spilled out along the edges of the room.

"Fox, get up," the Doctor said. "You have to... leave her." Fox didn't appear to even be listening. The Doctor hunkered down next to him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But we have to go." The Doctor clasped the man's arm. "Please." But Fox didn't move.

"You got to go," Evangelista told him. Fox shook his head. "Don't... don't be stupid and die with me," Evangelista said, her voice so terribly frail. "Live for me. You do that. That's what you do." He shook his head again, his arms tightening around her small shape. Rose felt River shaking next to her. Despite everything Rose reached out and took River's hand.

"Come on," the Doctor said. Evangelista gave Fox a nod and Fox somehow managed to release her and rise, the Doctor helping him.

It was like the Vashda Nerada knew the minute they'd figure it out. The shadows crawled up Evangelista's legs and she screamed.

"Run!" Everyone turned away from Evangelista as she died. The Doctor had to drag Fox away, barely preventing him from throwing himself at her. Her scream lasted only for a second. The Vashda Nerada could be so swift if they wanted to. Everyone ran for the swinging-doors the Doctor had entered through while the shadows rushed along the edges of the room to cut off their escape.

They crashed through the doors seconds before the shadows trapped them. The four of them ran. The Doctor got his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket. He directed it towards the lamps overhead while they rushed through the hallway. He used it to momentarily intensify the light. It wouldn't last but it would slow the shadows down.

"We're almost there!" the Doctor told them as they hurried on.

They ran and ran until Rose thought she might actually not be able to run anymore. Not once did she dare to look behind them, afraid of what she'd see. The Doctor kept turning up the lights as much as he could without blowing them out, aiming his screwdriver as they hurried through the dying ship. "The ballroom is up ahead!" the Doctor told them urgently.

They appeared at the top of the huge marble staircase. At the right side where the Doctor and Rose and taken the left. When they'd escaped the ballroom the Vashda Nerada had hunted them, filling the room with darkness. But there was none of that darkness now. The Vasda Nerada had moved on. The huge chandeliers hanging from the ceiling were still lit.

"Am I dead?"

Everyone froze. Fox spun around, his eyes filled with disbelief and a horrible glint of hope.

"Am I dead?"

It was Miss Evangelista's voice. But that was impossible. They'd heard her die. The Doctor reached into his pocket and withdrew something the size of a usb drive. A green light flickered on it.

"Am I dead?" Her voice came from the device in the Doctor's hand. River stared at it, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

"The data-core," she said.

"Drake found it," the Doctor told her.

"She's ghosting."

"She somehow got caught in this when she died," the Doctor said. "This is no ordinary data-core. It's like it wanted to save her."

"What is happening?" Miss Evangelista's voice sounded once again from the data-core. "Am I dead?"

"What is happening?" Rose asked in confusion.

"It's an echo of her consciousness," the Doctor explained. "Caught in the technology. It happens sometimes. They call it ghosting. It only lasts for a moment."

"Fox? Are you there?" Evangelista's voice asked, echoing strangely as though she was far away. A horrible pain came over Fox's face because he couldn't answer her. "I never said," she said. "I never said... I never said... I never said." The Doctor switched it off, the green light going dark.

"That is... that is horrible," Rose said. The Doctor put his hand at the small of Rose's back urging her with him, away from the other's. River was at Fox's side both struggling with the horror they'd just had to endure.

"Take them," the Doctor told Rose. "Get inside the TARDIS. Wait exactly fifteen minutes."

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Wait fifteen minutes and if I'm not back by then you go. Do you hear me? You go."

"Where are you going?" Rose asked, feeling fear squeezing her chest.

"I can't just leave this ship here like this," the Doctor said. "Too many people have died."

"You best not be saying what I think you're saying," Rose warned him.

"I've got to destroy it," the Doctor said, confirming her fears. "The Vashda Nerada, they shouldn't exists in clusters this big. It's not natural. How long until someone else stumbles over this ship? Or comes looking for it? I can't let anymore people die. No more."

"What are you going to do?" Rose asked him.

"I found an info point that works. I can use it to access the ships controls. I can set the engines to self destruct. No one else will have to die."

"What about you?" Rose asked. "I assume this info point is back the way we came. Back towards the Vashda Nerada."

"It is."

"Are you going to make it?" Rose swallowed hard. "Or is this one of your famous goodbyes?"

The Doctor reached out and clasped Rose's hand. Her skin tingled faintly at the contact. The sensation was still muted. The Doctor was still blocking her. But not as strongly as he had before. It felt as though he didn't quite have the strength for it anymore.

"That's the thing, Rose Tyler," the Doctor said, giving her a sad little smile. "Loving you has made me selfish. I'll do everything I can to return to you. No matter what." They looked at each other. Rose could actually feel how much he meant it. How hard he would try to keep that promise. But there was still that hint of doubt in his eyes. He knew it might be beyond his control.

I can't let anymore people die, she heard him whisper from his mind to hers, feeling his desperate conviction accompany the words.

"I'm sorry Doctor." It was River. Both the Doctor and Rose looked up in surprise. River was pointing her gun at them. "But I can't let you do that," she said.

"River, what?" the Doctor began, clearly not quite comprehending what was suddenly happening. River walked past them, keeping her gun trained. She backed away, back the way they'd come.

"It's a suicide mission. You wouldn't make it."

"Yes I would," the Doctor refuted, letting go of Rose's hand and taking a step towards River. She raised her gun and he halted.

"Naw, naw sweetie," she said. "Not this time."

"River, think about what you are doing," the Doctor tried. "I have a larger chance than you."

"No, you don't," River said. "I'm sorry, Doctor." She continued backing away.

"No, but you can't," the Doctor insisted. "You need the sonic to operate the info point or you won't be able to access the proper controls."

River reached inside her jacket pocket and what she withdrew stopped the Doctor short. It was a screwdriver. The Doctor's screwdriver.

"Good thing I have one then," she said with a smile.

"Where did you get that?" the Doctor asked, staring at the small device in River's hand.

"You gave it to me," River said.

"I gave you my screwdriver?" the Doctor asked in utter disbelief. The smile fell from River's lips.

"One day, Doctor, I'm going to be someone you trust. Completely."

"River, don't." the Doctor pleaded. "No one else, please."

"I'm sorry but you need to live. Both of you. Because if you die here it means I never met you."

"Time can be rewritten," the Doctor said.

"Not those times, Doctor. Not one line, don't you dare."

River stopped and before anyone had time to react she pointed her sonic screwdriver at the wall beside her. The Doctor lunged forwards.

"No!" he screamed. But he wasn't fast enough. A door slid neatly closed in front of him, separating him and River. The metal door had been hidden in the wall, Rose had never even seen it. There was a small window at it's centre, showing River's face. The Doctor banged on the door.

"Open it up!" he screamed. River just stared at him, one lonely tear falling down her cheek.

"You always knew this was going to happen," she said, her voice muffled by the door. "The whole time we were together you knew. The last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, I mean, you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the Singing Towers. What a night that was. The Towers sang, and you cried. And then you gave me your screwdriver. You must have known it was time."

"River don't," the Doctor begged. "Please."

"It's ok," River said. "You'll see me again. It's not over for you. And what time's we'll have, Doctor. All of time and space. You watch us run."

And River turned away. The Doctor banged on the door. Screaming in hopeless anger while River disappeared. Rose came up at the Doctor's side. She caught his arm stopping him.

"She didn't have to do that," the Doctor growled angrily. "Why did she do that?"

"Because she loves you," Rose said. The Doctor let his head fall against the door. Rose knew how much he hated loosing people, how much guilt filled him when he failed to save someone.

"Doctor," Rose said carefully. "Get the door opened." The Doctor looked over at her.

"You'd let me go after her?" he asked.

"Let you?" Rose asked back. "I can't get you to do anything you don't want to," she said, giving him a smile.

"No, but you could ask."

"I would never ask you to let someone die if you could save them," Rose said. "Never."

"But I would," he said.

"I know you would. That's the danger isn't it? With this. But it has to be a choice, Doctor. We can still choose." Rose reached out, putting her hand against his chest. She let her hand slide in under the label of his suit. The Doctor took a shuddering breath. Rose reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "Go," she said. "Save her."

The Doctor smiled at Rose. "Take him. Get inside the TARDIS," he said, nodding his head towards Fox. Rose opened her mouth to argue. She couldn't possibly let him go alone. "Please Rose, just this once. Do this for me. Let me know you're at least safe. Give me that. Just this once." He gave her that look, that big eyes look that was impossible to resist. "Please," he said.

"Fine," Rose conceded. "But if you're not back in fifteen minutes I'm coming to get you." Rose saw he was about to object."No," she said before he could say anything. "I'm not leaving you here. I don't care what you say. And if you bloody let yourself get killed know that I'm coming for you to kill you all over again. That clear?" The Doctor nodded solemnly. He took out the data-core and handed it to her.

"Just get inside the TARDIS," he said.

Rose turned away from him.

 _Rose_. She felt the whisper of her name like a brush against her mind. Soft and pleasant. It was tinged with love. It felt good to feel that from him. That he let her feel that.

Rose turned back around.

"What?" she asked as he just stood there staring at her.

"I just..." he began but fell silent. She got the feeling he hadn't quite meant to send that thought to her.

"Doctor, what?" she asked again.

"Oh, to hell with it," he ground out. He strode over to her and caught her up in his arms, wrapping them tightly around her. For an instant the bond ignited between them, the power of it nearly sending Rose to her knees. It wasn't like it had been when he'd helped her heal. Too much energy had been focused on making her better, on hiding their secrets. The Doctor's arms tightened around her to the point that she wondered if he'd ever be able to let go. Their minds twined together faster than they ever had before. Desperately. Like they'd been starving for each other.

 _You come back to me_ , Rose told him across the bond.

 _No power in this universe can stop me_ , he promised.

It was like they had been slightly out of sync with the rest of the world and suddenly it shifted back into place. This was how it was meant to be. Anything else was wrong. Terrifying and wrong.

But it only lasted for a moment. A moment of weakness. Then it was over. The Doctor was letting her go. Rose had to struggle to regain her equilibrium. Her whole body seemed to shake with the after effects of the bond igniting so suddenly. Rose looked up at the Doctor as he took a step back. His eyes found hers.

"Go," he said.

Rose had to fight every instinct she had to make herself turn away from him. Every bone in her body was fighting it. She was supposed to stay with him. She was always supposed to stay with him. Rose grabbed Fox on the way and they both hurried down the large marble staircase before she'd give in and go with him whether he wanted her to or not.

The Doctor turned back to the door. He used his screwdriver to scan the panels around the door. There had to be some kind of access point somewhere. He found it to the left. He bent up the panel revealing a set of wires. He used the sonic to override the controls. It took him a moment but eventually the door slid opened. The hallway ahead of him was still brightly lit. The Vashda Nerada hadn't managed to make their way this far yet. The lights were slowing them down. The Doctor stepped into the hallway. He used the sonic to close the door behind him so Rose couldn't follow in case he didn't make it back. He took off running down the hall. It wasn't far to get to the room where he'd found a working info point. But it was a bad room. A room he hadn't particularly wanted to enter again.

He reached the place and pushed the doors opened. The doors had been barred when he'd first discovered the room. It had taken him some time to get them opened. Once inside he saw them again. The bodies, the skeletal remains of the crew. Twenty of them. They'd most likely held up in that room. Trying to escape the horror. But the horror had found a way in. There was no sign of River. Where had she gone?

"River?" He made his way over to the info point. One look at it told him River had been there. The countdown had started. She'd already set the engines to self-destruct. Thirteen minutes and counting. Oh, but she was good, the Doctor thought. But where was she? He looked around the room. But there was nothing. Quiet as a tomb, nothing but empty eye-sockets staring back at him.

Perhaps she was heading back, taking a different route. But somehow he knew that wasn't the case. He forced himself to look at the corpses littering the floor until he found the one he feared. He walked over to what remained of River Song.

The sonic screwdriver was still in her hand. The Vashda Nerada must have ambushed her. They might even have been lying in wait. There was intelligence there that the Doctor had not expected. She'd never stood a chance and neither would he have. She'd saved his life. He got the screwdriver out of her hand.

"I gave you this hu?" he said sadly, looking at the sonic screwdriver. "Cus I knew you'd need it. To save Rose." The Doctor rubbed at his eyes. "I sacrificed you for her. She'd never leave without me... she'd..." His fingers were coming away wet. "You deserved better than that," he said. "So much better." He drew in a hasty breath through his nose, trying to stifle the guilt not over what he had done but what he now knew he would do. "I'm sorry, River."

The Doctor rose to his feet. He had to go. Time was ticking away and the Vashda Nerada were closer than he'd thought. If he didn't hurry than River's sacrifice would have been for nothing. He put her sonic screwdriver in his pocket and hurried out of the dreaded room. He ran down the hall focusing on one thought alone. Getting back to Rose. That's what mattered right now. He just needed her. Her smile alone would be enough.

As he ran he could feel the darkness chasing him. One stumble and they'd have him. They were perfect predators. The piranhas of the air. They had only one fault. They liked the chase as much as the capture. They liked to play with their food.

The Doctor reached the door to the ballroom. He sonic-ed it opened without slowing down. It slid opened just it time to let him pass. He aimed his screwdriver back over his shoulder, the door sliding shut. It wasn't enough. Not this time. The Doctor rushed down the stairs, skipping steps in his haste. He saw Rose by the TARDIS. The sight of her was everything but it made him furious. He'd told her to get inside. She was supposed to have stayed there. He knew she wouldn't do it of course. Because the TARDIS would have kept her safe even if he wouldn't have returned. Rose was just as stubborn and wilful as his damn ship.

Rose stood, shifting her weight from foot to foot, glancing at her watch every few seconds. She looked up as he came running towards her across the floor, water splashed around his feet. Her eyes widened in fear. He could only imagine the pitch blackness he was drawing with him. He grabbed her hand as he reached her and she spun around. The Doctor pulled Rose with him towards the TARDIS. Just a few more yards and they'd be safe. Just a few more.

He crashed against the door, pushing it open. He pushed Rose inside first and threw himself in after her. Rose's hand slipped out of his and she spun around slamming the doors shut. They both ran up the ramp. Two more minutes until the engines detonated. Both blew past a bewildered looking Fox.

"Fire it up!" the Doctor screamed to Rose. She flipped switches. The TARDIS humming to life. The Doctor ran frantically around the console, pulling levers and shouting out commands. Time was running out. "Now, Rose! Now!" he screamed.

The whole place shook as the engines on the old Emperica ignited. One of the most beautiful ships ever built and they were blowing it to hell. But hell is undoubtedly were it belonged. It's where it had been bound since the Vashda Nerada hatched. The only place for such death and horror. The TARDIS dematerialised as the Emperica buckled and bolted, explosions tearing her to pieces. She might have been one of the most beautiful ships ever built but oblivion would have her now.


	34. Chapter 34 - Saved

Chapter 34 - Saved

Rose let her knees buckle, falling to the grated floor of the TARDIS. She thought she'd never been this exhausted in her whole life. Fox was standing, leaning against the railing, holding on to it as though he might also fall at any moment.

"Ok, we're clear," the Doctor said. "We're clear." Rose leaned her head against the console.

"River didn't make it," she said, more of a statement than a question. The Doctor sighed.

"No, she didn't." She could hear the terrible guilt in his voice. "Rose..."

"Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"No. You?"

"No."

"Fox?" Rose asked, looking up at him. The man shook his head.

"I'll get you home, of course." The Doctor said to Fox. "Where is home?" Fox straightened and walked over to the Doctor, handing him a business card. "The Lux corporation? You want to go there?" the Doctor asked in surprise. Fox retrieved the data-core that Rose had given him out of his pocket, holding it up for the Doctor to see. "Right," the Doctor nodded. He stared at the data-core for a moment. "Mind if I have a look at that?" he asked. Fox seemed reluctant to relinquish it but eventually let the Doctor have it.

The Doctor put on his glasses and squinted at the data-core.

"Rose, do you mind taking Fox to a room or something. I'm sure he'd like some time alone," the Doctor mumbled distractedly.

"Sure," Rose said, struggling back on her feet. "Come on," she told Fox. "Best just leave him to whatever he's doing." Fox reluctantly left the Doctor and followed Rose. She led him out of the control room and through the hallways of the TARDIS. Rose took a deep breath. It always felt so good to come back. Like coming home.

She glanced at Fox. He was walking with his head down, staring at his shoes. He wasn't awed by the size of the TARDIS. No surprise over the whole, it's bigger on the inside. Rose imagined such trivial things as breaking the laws of physics meant nothing to a person who had just lost all of his friends.

"This way," Rose said, turning down another hallway, the TARDIS leading them to a spare room. There were a lot of those after all.

Rose stopped at a door, pushing it opened. Inside was a simple bed with a navy blue bedspread, a couple of bookcases and a comfortable armchair. Nothing grand, but comfortable and cozy. "Are you hungry?" Rose asked, but Fox shook his head. He sat himself down in the armchair, staring into space. "You should probably get some sleep," Rose said carefully. Fox gave no indication he'd heard her. Rose wrung her hands, debating whether or not to say anything or just leave him alone. "I know what you lost," she said. "And I know no words can make it better. Nothing can. Not for a while, maybe not ever. But we're here if you need anything, alright? Just think about what you want and the TARDIS will help you get there. She's kind like that." Fox raised his gaze. His eyes weren't filled with tears just a quiet hurt. He nodded once and Rose left. There wasn't really anything more she could do but leave him alone. Let him grieve.

Rose made her way through the hallways and back to her room. The sight of her bed was like heaven. She was so tired. She didn't even bother undressing she just crashed onto the bed and fell instantly asleep.

She awoke merely two hours later. How exactly she knew it was two hours almost precisely she didn't know but it was. Rose struggled out of bed. Her clothes were still not completely dry and she was shivering. Undoubtedly that is what had woken her up. She made her way into the bathroom, undressing and getting into the shower. Her whole body was sore. She had been banged about pretty well but there were no bruises on her skin. After the shower she got dressed, comfy sweatpants and a hoody, nothing special. She hastily braided her hair and left the room.

The light's in the TARDIS were turned down, giving a feel of it being late at night. But of course time didn't really exist in the regular sense on the TARDIS. No night, no day.

Rose found the Doctor still in the console room. His fingers were tapping away on the keys, their rhythm rather frantic.

"Doctor?" Rose asked, rubbing at her eyes as she stepped into the room. He looked up as she entered. "What are you doing?"

"It's alive, Rose," he said, a frenetic energy in his eyes.

"What are you talking about? What's alive?"

"The data-core, Rose! The data-core!" He hurried over to her, pulling her with him to the console. "Look at this," he pointed at the screen. Circular Gallifreyan flashed rapidly across it. Rose gave the Doctor a look. The shapes mostly meant nothing to her. She could distinguish some numbers and a few names. "Right, well. You see this," he pointed to one section. "That's the energy readings. They're way higher than they should be. And this," he pointed to another set of circles. "This is the data. The code. See, how it's constantly changing? The pattern seems to be random but it's not. It's alive, Rose. The data-core is alive."

"How can a data-core be alive?" Rose asked.

"I don't know. And this," he pointed at another section. "This code here differs from the main one. These two lines. They're individual, somehow."

"Can't you... I don't know, get a picture of it?" Rose asked.

"I'd have to plug it directly into the TARDIS," the Doctor said, scratching at his chin. "And that's not a good idea."

"Any other way to find out what it is?"

"I'm sure that Lux Corporation has a way," the Doctor said. "They certainly went through a lot of trouble to get it."

Rose shivered at the thought of what had been lost because of that data-core. Drake, cocky and impulsive. But he'd had a reason for being there. A desperate one. Evangelista, beautiful and clever. Somehow falling in love with a man who could not speak word, who kept a wall between himself and the rest of the world. But he'd let it down for her. And then River Song. Fearless River Song. She'd sacrificed her life to save countless more. Faceless ones. But that hadn't stopped her. Because of her no one else was ever going to find that ship again. No one else was going to die in that darkness, screaming and alone.

Rose felt her heart twist inside her chest at the thought of those lives now lost. She hadn't known them more than a few hours but it was enough for her to know they'd deserved better. But everything has it's time and everything ends. Most times too soon. All though the universe had no regard for such things.

Rose turned towards the Doctor, leaning her hip against the console and folding her arms across her chest.

"Are you going to sleep at all?" she asked him, feeling a bit worried. He'd been through as much as the rest of them. He glanced over, looking at her over the rim of his glasses.

"Oh, I don't need as much sleep as you lot," he said, turning back to the monitor.

"No," Rose agreed. "But you did just get nearly eaten and blown up. Even all mighty Time Lords could use a break after that." His eyes shifted to her. There was somewhat of a question in them but he said nothing. Rose leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. There was a small tingle at the contact. Just a small one. She drew away.

"What was that for?" the Doctor asked.

"Just get some rest at some point," Rose told him. She turned away and left him, thinking it was highly doubtful that he would.

She went to check on Fox and found him asleep in the chair where she'd last seen him. She got a blanket off the bed and put it over him so he at least wouldn't freeze. Then she went back to her own room and crawled back into bed. She was still cold. Even though she'd gotten out of her wet clothes. She curled up into a fetal position, hugging her arms around herself. She closed her eyes and tried to get back to sleep. But sleep wouldn't come. Rose laid there with her eyes closed, trying hopelessly to get warm, seeing the faces of the people that were gone now, thinking about all she had experienced with River. All the things she'd said and all things Rose knew waited up ahead. Then she heard the door to her room open and close. She didn't open her eyes, didn't move. The mattress dipped.

"Rose? Are you asleep?" she heard the Doctor whisper softly. She felt his fingers lightly against her skin as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. For some reason she neither opened her eyes nor answered him. She felt him shift, laying down next to her. But he didn't touch her again. "I just want to hold you," he said so quietly she wasn't quite sure if he actually said it out loud. "I want it so badly it hurts." Rose fought to keep her breathing nice and even. The Doctor drew in a trembling breath. "I can't block you out anymore. Once we've gotten Fox to where he's going I'll show you everything. Everything I fear. I can't protect you from this. No matter how much I want to. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. For all of it."

He didn't say anything else and he didn't leave. Eventually they both fell asleep, lying right next to each other, as close as they could get without touching.

/

"Ok, we're here," the Doctor said. The familiar whining sound of the TARDIS as she materialised slowly faded out. "I parked right in the middle of this Mr. Lux's office. Avoid the red tape, you know. Go straight to the source," he said, pulling on his coat.

"You ready?" Rose asked Fox. He nodded resolutely. The three of them left the TARDIS. They stepped out in to a bright white area. Seamless windows covered two of the four sides of the room, the sunlight shining in and showing them a clear blue sky. Right before them was a big white desk, sleek and rounded in shape. To the left was a sofa group, also white and sleek. Rose walked over the big windows and looked out. They were high up. Really high up. She looked out over a vast city. Futuristic skyscrapers, tramlines running between the buildings, everything alive and bustling in the sunlight.

"So I want the quarterlies on my desk by the end of the day."

The Doctor, Rose and Fox twirled around at the sound of the foreign male voice. The doors to the office were pushed open and a man in a sharp suit, grey with a white shirt buttoned all the way up but no tie, walked inside, a slight man at his side. The man in the sharp suit was slightly stocky in build, most of his hair was gone and he had a somewhat puffy face. He didn't have the look of a man who had clawed his way to the top but more one who had inherited his responsibilities. Of course looks could be deceiving. The smaller man was taking frantic notes, while constantly blowing away a strand of his dark hair that kept falling into his eyes. They both stopped dead as they noticed the rather conspicuous blue box in the middle of the room.

"What is this!?" the man in the suit exclaimed, staring at the box.

"Mr. Lux I presume!" the Doctor said, stepping forwards.

"And who are...-" But Lux never had a chance to finish his sentence because suddenly Fox was there. He gave no warning or indication of what he was about to do. He just walked up to Lux and clocked him.

It was a good punch. It knocked Lux back, his assistant just managing to prevent him from falling on his ass.

"What in the devil..!?" Lux exclaimed in outrage, clutching his chin. "Ronson! Get security!" Ronson helped steady Mr. Lux and reached his hand towards his ear, were he had a small device that was most likely used for communicating.

"Ronson," the Doctor said, using that tone of voice that could halt an army. Ronson paused. "That won't be necessary." The Doctor turned to Mr. Lux. "I'm sure Mr. Lux remembers Jonathan Fox," the Doctor said. Lux turned to his attacker, narrowing his eyes as he looked at him properly for the first time.

"You," he said. "You were with... Right. Yes. You may leave, Ronson," he told his assistant.

"But, sir," Ronson tried to object.

"Now, Ronson!" Lux insisted.

"Very well, sir," he conceded and backed out.

"And cancel my appointments for the rest of the day," Lux told him. Ronson nodded on his way out.

"Certainly, Mr. Lux."

Ronson closed the doors. Lux straightened his suit, trying and failing to not look intimidated by Fox. Fox just looked ready to hit him again.

"What I think my friend here is trying to say..." the Doctor said. "Is, did you know?" Lux turned a bewildered gaze towards the Doctor.

"Know what?"

"About the Vashda Nerada," Rose told him. Lux's eyes shifted to her. His face turned to surprise as though he hadn't noticed her until then. He looked around the room, clearly determining if there were any more unwelcome guests inexplicably hiding in his office.

"The what?" he asked.

"Shadows that eat you," the Doctor clarified. A disbelieving laugh burst from Mr. Lux mouth.

"Say what?"

Fox took a step towards him, clearly ready to physically knock some gravity into Lux. Lux scuttled back.

"Were you aware before you sent that expedition to retrieve your data-core from the Emperica that it was infested with flesh-eating swarms?" the Doctor tried again. Lux kept a weary eye on Fox.

"No," he said. "I've never even heard of these... Vassta whatever."

"Vashda Nerada," the Doctor corrected.

"Right, never heard of them."

"So you sent a group of people to a ship that mysteriously disappeared a hundred years ago without checking it first?" the Doctor asked skeptically.

"No, of course not," Lux refuted. "Everyone's been looking for that thing since it disappeared. It... it was my grandfather you see. He said there was this great big treasure on it. So everyone would look. It's rather taken on a life of its own now. The damn thing is practically legend. Thought he was being clever."

"How's that?" Rose asked.

"The books," the Doctor said.

"The books?"

"Exactly," Lux confirmed. "The greatest treasure in the universe. Everyone thought he was talking about gold, or jewels or money."

"But he wasn't."

"No."

"Knowledge. The greatest treasure isn't money or gold, it's knowledge."

"Ooh. That is rather clever," Rose allowed.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to like this grandfather of yours," the Doctor said.

"We scanned the ship," Lux explained. "It didn't give off any readings. Nothing dangerous at least. We had to hurry or others would get wind of it. Professor Song is supposed to be the best in her field. Where is she anyway?" Lux asked as he took another look around the room, clearly thinking he might have missed her sitting there somewhere.

"She's dead," the Doctor answered darkly. The blood drained out of Mr. Lux's face.

"And the other two?" he asked, his voice trembling every so slightly. No one said anything but the look on their faces was enough of an answer. "I see. Well... I'm most terribly sorry." He smoothed out his suit. "But you all knew the risks." Fox raised his hand instantly, ready to strike him again. Lux cowered.

"Don't," the Doctor said. Fox halted. "It's not worth it." Fox reluctantly lowered his arm, glaring at Lux as though he would like nothing better than to tear the man apart.

Lux scuttled away, passing them and placing himself behind his desk. He immediately looked more relaxed with the piece of furniture between him and his guests. Like it could actually make a difference.

"Well," he began. "I suppose you're here for payment. I'll have Ronson..."

"We're not here for your money," Rose told him.

"Then pray tell, girl why are here? You two I never even had a contract with," Lux pointed out. The Doctor walked up to Lux's desk, retrieving the data-core out of his pocket.

"We came to give you what three people died for," the Doctor said, placing the data-core neatly on Lux's desk. Lux looked down at it and then back up at the Doctor and back to the data-core.

"You got it?" he asked in utter disbelief. He picked it up gingerly. "I can't believe it. After all this time."

"Perhaps you'd care to tell us what made that thing worth dying over?" the Doctor suggested. Lux tore his gaze away from the data-core and looked up at the Doctor.

"Oh you know, cooperate secrets and information and such," he said, in no way actually sounding convincing. The Doctor placed his hands on Mr. Lux's desk, leaning towards him.

"I would advice against lying to me, Mr. Lux," he said, the warning clear. Lux swallowed hard.

"I...I don't know what else to tell you," he stuttered.

"That thing is alive," the Doctor said, pointing at the data-core. "Why?"

"You know...? How can you know?"

"I'm very clever," the Doctor told him. "Cleverer than you, and I can assure you that you don't want to play this game with me," the Doctor warned, his eyes darkening. "People have died. Good people. Brave people. People who deserved better."

Mr. Lux stared at the Doctor. Rose could practically see the struggle going on behind Lux's eyes. He couldn't know if he could trust any of them but clearly the Doctor was not a man you trifled with and Fox had already proved he wasn't very patient at the moment.

"Do I have a choice?" Lux asked.

"Not really," the Doctor answered, making a face. After a while Lux nodded slowly.

"Very well." he said. "Follow me." Lux got out form behind his desk and walked over to a panel on one wall. He punched in a code and pressed his thumb to what Rose initially thought was a fingerprint scanner but at the small whimper from Mr. Lux she realised it had pricked him, taking a sample of his blood. "Only members of the Lux bloodline have ever been inside here," Lux said as he put his thumb in his mouth, sucking the blood away. The plain wooden wall slid opened, revealing a set of stairs that lit up neatly. "Come on then," Lux said and disappeared down the stairs. The Doctor, Rose and Fox followed.

Mr. Lux led them down the stairs and into a room with no adornment whatsoever. It was completely bare but for one stone statue right in the middle of the room. It seemed to be an abstract shape of a human being. Right next to it was a small waist-high pillar. Rose noticed there was a port at the top. Shaped perfectly to fit the data-core in Lux's hands.

"The grandfather I spoke about," Lux said.

"The clever one," Rose remarked.

"Yes, that one," Lux agreed. "He set this up. So it would be ready. So the core could be tested before taking it to the library. So he could make sure no damage had been done to her."

"Her?" The Doctor immediately reacted to the word. Lux plugged the data-core into the pillar.

"Yes."

The whole room lit up as though it was given sudden power. Screens lit up along the walls, control stations sliding out from hidden compartments. The head of that stone statue swivelled around. It revealed the face of a child. Rose gasped. The face looked real. It wasn't stone.

"Meet Cal," Mr. Lux said. "My grandfather's youngest daughter. "

"Oh, my god," Rose breathed. The Doctor put on his glasses, taking a step forwards.

"Hello," the girl said in a sweet child-like voice.

"Hello," the Doctor answered hesitantly.

"Who are you?" the girl asked.

"I'm the Doctor."

"Am I sick?" the girl asked. The Doctor glanced around the room once, checking the readouts on the numerous screens. He shook his head.

"No," he said. "You're fine. No, damage what so ever."

"She was dying," Lux explained. "So my grandfather took her living consciousness and integrated it into this data-core. She was supposed to be the heart of the Library. The hard-drive is already there, waiting for her. She loved books. So he tried to give her all of them."

"But she never got there," Rose remarked. "The Emperica was lost."

"Yes, it's been a quest, so to speak, handed down through the generations, finding the Emperica and saving Cal."

"I wanted to save them," the little girl's face said. "So I did."

"Save them? Save whom?" the Doctor asked, his eyes narrowing on Cal.

"I saved them," Cal repeated.

Rose could practically see the cogs turning inside the Doctor's mind. Spinning rapidly as he was taking in all the information and cross-referencing it with what he knew. Theories being examined and discarded until finally she saw as the answer was dawning on him. "Oh my god. I'm thick!" he suddenly exclaimed. "I'm so thick! You saved them!" He rushed over to one of the control stations along the walls. Rose hurried over to his side.

"Doctor?" she asked.

"Those extra lines of code," he said, his fingers tapping away on the keyboard. "The ones I couldn't understand what they were doing there. She saved them."

"What?"

"She saved them, Rose!"

"The echoes..." Rose trailed off.

"Yes." The picture on the screen changed, showing them two individual lines of code. Ones and zeros, constantly changing, seemingly at random. But the Doctor'd said it wasn't random. "It's them," he said. "Of course it's them."

His fingers continued running rapidly over the keys and the picture changed again. The ones and the zeros became a picture. They became faces. Rose gasped and took a step back. She could recognise both Drake's and Evangelista's features in the code.

"This technology is a bit rudimentary," The Doctor said. "This is the best I can do." He turned around to Fox, who was standing a bit away, a guarded expression on his face. "Come on," the Doctor told him, urging him over.

Fox came up to them carefully. The Doctor and Rose took a step back to give him room. He stared at the faint image of Evangelista. For quite a while that was all he did. Then he reached up his hand and traced it along the image of her. One lonely tear fell from the corner of his eye. "She's alive in there," the Doctor told him. "Once Cal is fully integrated into the hard- drive in the Library she'll have all the stories that were ever written to live. She'll never be bored. She'll never be lonely." Fox turned away from the screen and threw his arms around the Doctor, hugging him in utter gratitude. The Doctor smiled and clapped the man once on the back. "Don't thank me," he said. "Thank Cal. She's the one that saved them." Fox pulled away from the Doctor, turning his face to the girl's on the strange statue. He gave her a nod and the girl gave him a smile.

The gratitude on Fox's face was indescribable. Rose was beyond happy for him. Few people got second chances like this.

"Mr. Lux," the Doctor said, removing his glasses. "I trust you'll see to it that Cal get's to the Library a soon as possible and that everything is done right."

"Of course, you have my word, Doctor," Lux promised, still sounding a bit confused. Like his mind hadn't properly caught up with the events yet. Fox simply couldn't stop staring at the screen and Evangelista. All the books ever written. She'd have all of them. And Drake would too. In a sense it might only be half a life but it would be a good one.

The Doctor walked over to Rose and took her hand in his. Electricity sparked to life between them. He smiled down at her and she smiled back at him. It looked like the universe was going to give them this one. Not everyone had to die. Not everyday. Sometimes people lived. Sometimes the universe gave you miracles. The Doctor and Rose turned and made to walk out of the room.

"Wait!" Lux called after them. "You never said who you were, the two of you." They both glanced back at him and then back at each other. "Oh, the stuff of legend," the Doctor said with a smile.

The Doctor and Rose made their way up the stairs and back into Mr. Lux's office. They swung their interlocked hands between them as they walked. Everything felt better than it had in a long time. Hope filled Rose's chest. If Drake and Evangelista could miraculously be saved then perhaps there was hope for her and the Doctor too. Hope could be a powerful thing. If you believed in it enough it could make things happen almost like magic. If you believed enough.

The Doctor paused at the TARDIS door. He slipped his hand into his pocket and withdrew his screwdriver. But upon closer inspection Rose could see that it wasn't his screwdriver. It was Rivers. Some modification had clearly been done to it through the years. The Doctor's hand slid out of Rose's as he turned the sonic between his fingers.

"I'm sorry you couldn't save her," Rose said.

"Me too," the Doctor said, drawing in a quick breath. Rose pushed opened the door to the TARDIS.

"Come on," she said softly. The Doctor put the screwdriver back in his pocket and followed Rose inside. They walked up the ramp. But halfway up the Doctor froze. Rose stopped as she noticed and turned back towards him.

When you run with the Doctor it's so easy to feel as though it will never end. But Rose had learned the hard way that you can't run forever. Everything has it's time and everything dies and no one knew this like the Doctor. But maybe all the stars would turn dark and the universe cold if he ever for one single moment accepted it.

"I gave her my screwdriver," the Doctor said as Rose watched him. "Why would I do that?" He got the screwdriver back out of his pocket, holding it up before his eyes. "I knew what was going to happen. So future me had all this time. All this time to figure out a way to save her. And what did I do? I gave her my screwdriver."

"Doctor?"

"Why would I do that?" He turned the sonic over between his fingers and then he slid a small section off it, revealing a green light beneath. "Oh, would you look at that!" he exclaimed. "I am good!"

"What did you do?" Rose asked, feeling a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. The Doctor held up the sonic for Rose to see.

"I saved her," he said with glee.

The Doctor twirled around and rushed out of the TARDIS, Rose quickly running after him.

"One last run, come on!" the Doctor called as they ran through Lux's office and flew down the stairs back to the hidden room. Both Fox and Lux looked up in startled surprise as they both barged in. "Excuse me," the Doctor said as he ran over to one of the control station. He plugged the sonic directly into an open port. Electricity sizzled around it.

"What is happening?" Lux exclaimed in alarm. "What are you doing?" Sparks blew from the machine as the strands of electricity rushed along the computers. And then River's shape appeared next to Drake's and Evangelista's. The face of the little girl, Cal smiled. One more person for her to save.

"Ha!" the Doctor called out in triumph. He twirled around. "Look at that, Rose!" He grinned madly at her. "Everybody lives! Today, everybody lives!" Rose laughed at him, joy filling her chest. Some days really were special, she thought. Some days nobody dies at all. One day in a million days everybody lives.

The Doctor ran over to Rose, pulling her into a hasty, joyous hug. Rose just continued to laugh. The Doctor released her, smiling down at her.

"I love days like this," he said as though he'd read her mind.

"I do to," she agreed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Now we can go home," he said.

"Great idea."

The Doctor took her hand and they turned to leave for the second time that day. But again someone halted them. But it wasn't Mr. Lux this time. It was Jonathan Fox.

"Doctor," he said in that deep, rolling voice of his. The Doctor froze and Rose felt a shiver run down her spine. She'd never heard him speak before. She'd thought he couldn't. Rose turned back towards Fox in utter astonishment. But the Doctor didn't move. "Your song is ending, Doctor," Fox said quietly. The Doctor's hold on Rose's hand tightened to the point of being painful but Rose wouldn't dream of letting go. "It is returning," Fox said. "It is returning through the dark. It will knock four times."

It will knock four times...


	35. Chapter 35 - Unraveling

Chapter 35 - Unraveling 

For what seemed like forever the whole room stood frozen.

"I saved the woman you love. I saved you. And you do this to me?" the Doctor said, his words echoing in the quiet room.

"I'm trying to be kind," Fox told him. Mr. Lux was looking from one man to the other, not understanding anymore than Rose did at the moment.

"Come on, Rose," the Doctor said, tugging her along. Rose kept glancing back at Fox as they made their way up the stairs. He watched them go, a terribly sad expression on his face. The Doctor led her back towards the TARDIS.

"What did he mean?" Rose asked him. But the Doctor didn't answer. As he opened the blue door Rose pulled free of his hold on her hand. "Tell me."

"It's nothing," the Doctor said. "Get inside, Rose, please." But Rose shook her head, backing away from him.

"No," she said. "Last night, you said no more hiding things." His eyes narrowed on hers.

"You heard that?" he asked, Rose nodded. The Doctor sighed in defeat. "The Ood. They said the same thing. Exactly the same thing. That my song was ending."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

The Doctor disappeared inside the TARDIS. Rose quickly followed.

"Are you going to die?" she asked as the door swung shut behind her. The Doctor stopped halfway up the ramp.

"No, I'm not," he said with such conviction she could not help but believe him. "But would it matter if I did?"

Rose stared at his back in horror. "How can you say that?" she asked. He turned around.

"Well, you're going to leave me anyway, aren't you?" he pointed out. Rose was shaking her head.

"Don't do that," she told him.

"Do what?"

"Do you honestly think I want to leave you?"

"I don't know!" He took a couple of steps towards her. "I don't know," he repeated, throwing out his hands to his sides.

"I don't," Rose said after a while.

"But something will happen," the Doctor said. "Right? Something will happen that will make you want to."

"Nothing could ever make me want to," Rose said with conviction. He took another couple of steps towards her.

"Don't be so sure," he said. Rose's eyes narrowed on his.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

She watched him as he came over to her. There was so much edged into that face of his. He'd seen so much. So much beauty. So much pain. Far more than she ever would and yet when he looked at her it was like he was thankful for all of it. Every loss he'd suffered, every heartbreak because without them he might never have met her.

"Maybe, you're right," he said. She stared at him in confusion. Suddenly those cracks she'd seen in his certainty. The certainty that if she loved him even a fraction as much as he loved her she could never leave him. Those cracks were given meaning.

The Doctor reached out and captured her hand in his. Rose felt him as he did. It was so difficult to put into words what actually happened when they touched. She didn't just feel it in her hand. Every part of her body was aware of it, responded to it. He brushed his thumb lightly across hers. The small movement ran through her like ripples on the water. She could feel that the wall he'd put up to hide his fear from her was almost completely down. He didn't have the strength to hold it up anymore whether he wanted to or not.

"We need to talk," he said. She looked up at him and nodded. "Come on," he said, turning around and pulling her with him.

The Doctor put the TARDIS into the time-vortex before retaking Rose's hand and leading her out of the console room. They walked down the hall, making their way to the kitchen. For every step, a hint of dread grew inside Rose. She knew they had to talk. Properly. About everything. They needed a course, an understanding and no more lies. She knew that but it didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt. He'd blocked off the bond for a reason. He'd said she might be right, for a reason.

The Doctor pushed opened the kitchen door and Rose followed him inside. He made his way over to the counter, beginning to rummage through cupboards.

"Are you planning on placating me with food?" Rose asked, jumping up and sitting down on the table, clenching her hands to keep them from shaking while she watched him.

"Do I need to?" the Doctor asked, as he got a couple of cups and put the kettle on.

"Depends," Rose said.

"On what?" the Doctor asked, buzzing himself with fixing tea.

"How much this is going to hurt," Rose said after a moment of silence. The Doctor stopped what he'd been doing. For a moment he stood frozen. Then he put his hands on the counter, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"I don't ever want to... hurt you," he said, forcing the words out past his lips.

"I know," Rose said. "I don't want to hurt you either." Rose clasped the edge of the table. "So how bad are we talking?"

"Bad."

"Then you should probably offer me something stronger than tea," Rose suggested. The Doctor poured the steaming water into the two cups, fixing the tea exactly as he knew she liked it. He walked over to her and put the cup down on the table, next to her hip.

"I'm afraid tea is all I got," he said and backed up. Rose picked up the warm cup and held it between her hands. The warmth felt good against her cold fingers. The Doctor got his cup and took a sip. Rose did the same with hers. It was the spicy tea she liked.

"It's about what happened at New Years, right?" Rose asked when he didn't seem inclined to start talking. He nodded. "You're afraid of something. Really afraid. I could tell." The Doctor was staring down into his tea as though he expected it to hold the secrets of the universe. "Just tell me," Rose said.

The Doctor swirled the tea once and then put the cup back on the counter.

"I thought..." he began but fell silent, struggling for a moment. "I thought it was negative emotions alone," he said. "That triggered you. That allowed you to loose control. Revenge..." Elsa Conn. "Grief..." Mickey. The Doctor took a deep breath. "But you were happy," he said. "At New Years. You were so happy. Right?" He looked up at her for the first time since they'd entered the kitchen. The hint of doubt in his eyes hurt. He must have known. He must have felt the joy coursing through her blood. Enough to fill a lifetime. Rose nodded slowly and the Doctor nodded back as she confirmed his thoughts. He drew his hand down his face.

"But you still lost control," he said. "And not just a little. You were gone. You couldn't even hear me." He ran shaking fingers through his hair.

"Just say it," Rose said, almost like a dare. The Doctor paused before he did.

"It's not just negative emotions," he said. "It's any emotion."

Rose put the cup of tea back on the table because her hands were shaking so bad she couldn't hold it.

"Right," she said, her voice far from steady. "Any emotion." It wasn't anything she had not thought herself but to hear it from him somehow made it real.

"If it's strong enough." the Doctor said. Rose jumped down from the table. She felt like she needed to get out of there. Run. Run far away. Until none of the stars were familiar to her. But the minute her feet touched the floor her knees gave away. The Doctor rushed over. He managed to catch her, easing her fall. Her forehead fell against his shoulder as they both sank down to the kitchen floor.

"If it's strong enough," Rose repeated the Doctor's words. "You mean, like when I'm with you. That's what you're saying." She struggled for breath. "That's why you blocked off the bond." It took a long time for him to answer.

"Yes."

But Rose shook her head. "No," she said. "You've brought me back from the brink. You help me keep control, not loose it." She looked up at him, an urgent need to make him see in her eyes. "The energy it's not so... aimless when I'm with you. It has a purpose."

"I thought so too," the Doctor agreed. "But... seems I'm not enough."

Rose desperately clutched the sleeve of his suit. She felt like she was slipping away. As though she was caught in a stream and she couldn't stop it. No, matter what she did she couldn't stop it.

"To feel nothing then..." Rose breathed. "That's the answer." But the Doctor shook his head.

"That is not an answer," he said. "That's hell." Hell. That is what was awaiting her. An empty life for an empty heart. Rose gasped for breath. How could she ever do that? How could she make herself feel nothing? How could that be her future?

But anything else was unthinkable. She could never risk hurting someone again. Maybe even kill someone. She couldn't. She still wasn't sure if she had at New Years and now she thought she didn't ever want to know. Because it was impossible. She could never make herself that numb. She wasn't the kind of person who could shut out what she was feeling or bury it deep down where no one could get at it. She wore her heart on her sleeve. She always had. It was part of who she was.

"What if I could undo it?" the Doctor asked. There was a tremor in his voice that made the very words shiver.

Rose froze. She looked up at him. Her heart began to beat at a frantic rhythm as she struggled to comprehend his words.

"What?" she asked, sure she must have heard him wrong.

"What if I could find a way to undo, all of it. Erase the bond," the Doctor clarified.

"You could do that?" Rose asked, not quite believing it.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I wont try without knowing that is what you want." Rose just stared at him. Everything she knew about the bond seemed to point to the exact same thing. Once created it could never be undone. But what if? What if there was a way? "Rose, is that what you want?" he asked again.

Rose didn't answer. Instead she ran her fingers up his arm. Slowly. Her eyes on the movement. She ran them all the way up the sleeve of his suit, over the collar of his shirt until she was touching his bare skin. Every inch of her responded to the contact. She gave in to the sensation, revelled in the joy of it. He trembled beneath her touch.

"By erase..," she said, running her hand across his jaw. "Do you mean this too?" she asked. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut. This was hurting him.

"Yes." the word fell broken from his lips.

Rose let her hand fall. "Would you... want that?" she asked him back

"I wan't you to be happy. I wan't you to be safe. That's what I want."

"That's not what I mean," Rose said. The Doctor opened his eyes and looked at her. She could see the agony in them. The fear. The fear he'd fought so hard to keep from her.

"I'll love you the same regardless."

"That wasn't what I asked either," Rose pointed out. The Doctor sighed, letting his head drop. His hands were clenching into fists.

"At the thought of you... wanting this..." he struggled to get the words out. She could tell he didn't want to say them. That this was something he would rather keep inside. She supposed he'd told her the truth when he said all she ever had to do was ask. That he would never deny her a truth she asked him for. Even if it took him a while to give it. "... It makes me want to break something," he said. "I think it makes me want to break everything."

"Why?" Rose thought she might know the answer, but she needed him to say it. If she was going to make this choice, she needed him to say it.

"Because," he began. "I've been alone for a long time. Alone in a way I could never describe. It is a bitter, cold pain, Rose. To be the last of your kind. But it's not only that. When there were Time Lords roaming the universe I could feel them. In here," he said, pointing to his temple. "Since they died... there's been nothing. Only quiet. Enough quiet to drive anyone mad."

"But it's not quiet anymore," Rose finished for him. He smiled a little at her even though his eyes were awash with unshed tears.

"No. You're there now. You have no idea the joy of being aware of another person like that again and to have that taken away...again. That makes me want to break everything."

Rose had a feeling he wasn't talking about the china in the cupboards or the old, antique vases in the library. She had a feeling he was talking about the whole world.

"Then how could I take that away from you?" Rose asked, shaking her head. The Doctor looked at her, reaching over and clasping her hand.

"Don't you think I'd rather take the quiet than loosing you?" he asked. Rose's eyes narrowed on his.

"You think this is what makes me leave," she realised. He nodded, his gaze dropping to their hands. He was running his thumb across her knuckles, sending of sparks along her nerve endings.

"Why would you stay with a man who can't..." He pulled his hand back, rubbing at his eyes. "Who you can't be with. Who can't even touch you." He was turning away but Rose moved to stop him. She caught his hand. She placed it against her cheek.

"You can touch me," she said, holding his hand there as she felt the contact sparking off between them. "You can touch me," she repeated, moving closer to him.

"Not the way I want," he said. "Not the way you want." Rose let go of his hand but it remained where she left it. She captured his face between her palms, moving close enough that she was practically sitting in his lap on the kitchen floor.

"This is enough for me," she said. But the Doctor shook his head.

"It won't be forever, Rose," he said. "You'll want more. Maybe not now, maybe not even in a year. But in five years? Ten?" She shook her head in mindless denial. "I'm sorry, Rose. I don't think you'll ever understand just how much."

"This won't be why I leave. It can't."

"How would you know?" he asked, his eyes filled with sorrow and an infuriating hint of pity. "You're so young. You haven't even lived a century. How could you possibly..."

"Don't play the age card with me," Rose interrupted in a warning tone. "I know that means nothing to you. Some people live more in one year than other's do in a hundred. Age has nothing to do with it."

"Fine," he allowed. "Answer me this then." He wrapped his arms around her. She could feel the heat of his touch. "Can you spend every day with me and never again be this close?" He leaned down towards her. His lips brushed lightly against the curve of her neck. Not a kiss, just a brief contact, featherlight and maddening because of it.

Every cell in Rose's body immediately reached for his. The pull was undeniable. For how long could she fight that if she had too? Everyday for the rest of her life? "Can you?" he asked, running his hands around her waist. "I know I couldn't," he murmured. "It would break me. It would drive me mad." His lips were brushing against her neck as he spoke, his breath sluicing over her skin, making her tremble in his arms.

"If..." Rose struggled to form the words. Electricity was coursing through her blood, urging, imploring, compelling. "If..." she tried again. "...you're that worried, you should probably..." She swallowed hard. "...back off right about now," she managed to get out.

"Do you want me to?"

The Doctor ran his hands up her back.

"No," Rose breathed. In no way did she want him to back off. Even if he was just using the moment to prove his point. It felt like it had been so long since they'd been this close. Her mind was already twining with his. And he couldn't hide from her just how much he'd longed to hold her like this. How hard it had been for him to block off the bond. The mental strength it had taken.

Yet Rose could feel the war going on inside him even now. The desperate need to give in waring with the fear that she would be hurt. That being close to him would set her off and she would burn. Her arms tightened around him. She wasn't going to burn. And even if she did it would be something worth burning for.

"You're proving my point," the Doctor was murmuring, probably aware of every single thought she'd just had.

"So?" Rose dared him, her eyes drifting closed. His hand ran up into her hair, combing through it, letting it spill between his fingers. She could feel his eyes on her.

"Rose..." It was intoxicating, the way he said her name. All breathless as though her name was both a prayer and a curse. _Rose_...

She opened her eyes, finding his. They were beautiful. Arresting. As he was. Rose ran her fingers across the planes of his face, her eyes not for one second leaving his. She drew in a slow breath and as she let it out his name fell with it.

It wasn't a conscious choice. It just happened. But the word felt good. The way her lips formed around it. The way it tasted in her mouth. The Doctor became absolutely still. He stared at her. Rose was about to apologies, thinking that of course she couldn't go about just dropping his name like that. It was a secret after all. She knew that much. But before she got the chance to say anything he'd pulled her to him and kissed her. She felt as any plan he'd had to prove to her just how dangerous this was, was blown away.

The bond didn't simply ignite between them. It exploded. They both trembled with the sheer power of it, the room itself trembling with them. The Doctor pressed her against him. His movements were hasty and desperate. There was no artistry. No, careful calculation. They moved on instinct alone. Thought had no place where they were concerned. Rose ran her hands across the expand of his chest up and round his neck. She could feel all that he was feeling. The need driving him beyond sense, beyond reason. The need to be closer, to twine, to bind. She felt it too. It was more desperate now. Blocking off the bond had done that.

His hands were at her face, tilting her head to the side to give him better access. Every touch, every brush of his skin against hers was like nothing she would ever be able to compare it to. Everything else became secondary. This was the only thing that mattered. Kissing the Doctor was a whirlwind, a storm, a tempest. Rose clung to him in an attempt to find some purchase but there was none to be had. It was sweeping them away. Towards what she did not know. Whenever they'd been this close to it before she'd only remembered the aftermath. The few fragments she recollected from when the bond had first been forged were hazy images of memories that were not her own. And New Years was nothing but a blurry dream.

The Doctor's fingers brushed against her collarbone as he moved to pull the zipper down on the sweater she wore. He pulled it down in a rush, his movements clumsy in their haste. His hands stole in beneath it, moving around her waist, splaying out against her lower back, holding her against him fiercely, possessively. Rose's head fell back and a sigh escaped her lips. The Doctor kissed his way down her neck, every brush leaving a trail of fire in its wake. She had been so cold but now she didn't seem to even remember how being cold felt like. Every cell in her body was alive with heat.

The Doctor combed his fingers through her hair, tilting her head and ceasing her mouth with his. Every brush, every stroke seemed to say the same thing. Mine... and stay.

 _Rose_ , she heard him whisper across the bond. The emotion that accompanied her name was overwhelming. It was passion and fear and an obliterating sense of possession. He'd told her that he belonged to her. Always. But now he was proving that she belonged to him too, no matter if she thought she'd leave him. She would be his all the same. Always. And curse the stars and all the worlds if anyone ever actually tried to take her from him.

They needed to stop. But they weren't. His arms were tightening around her. Her lips against his grew more insistent. He'd been right. They couldn't fight this. It was in their blood. A constant calling. And the more they struggled against it the stronger it got. One more touch, one more minute and they'd fall. And if the Doctor was right it would be New Years all over again.

"Stop," Rose breathed between the kisses, her voice filled with all the pain it took to utter that one word. "Stop. Doctor. Stop." Somehow he managed to keep his lips from hers long enough to speak.

"I told you," the Doctor said, his fingers digging into her skin as held her. "You'll leave me for this."

Rose felt tears streaming down her face. His hold on her tightened as though he could keep her by strength alone. Rose didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to believe that anything could make her want to leave him. But to never touch him again? To never feel him? The strain that it would put on them, the constant struggle. It would be torture. Slow and surely. How could she know if one day maybe she wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

"We have to undo it."

His eyes flickered up to hers and she saw his world break and fracture within them. Some part of him had still hoped she'd say no. However deep and dark and hidden that desire had been it had still been there. This was part of who he was. Part of his genetic makeup. How he was made. Even if the Time Lords had done everything they could to breed it out completely. Rejecting the bond was like rejecting him. Again.

The Doctor had wanted her to be with him for however long her forever lasted. He'd asked her to acknowledge that. To put a name to it and she'd said no. Out of fear. Fear of hurting him. Fear that giving a promise and breaking it was worse than giving no promise at all. And now this. He'd given her a piece of soul. Even psychotic, coldhearted Annabelle Conn had phrased it like that. And now Rose was telling him she did not want it. It didn't matter he'd been the one to suggest it. Nor did it matter that it might be the right thing to do. The only thing to do. What mattered is that it was breaking him to hear it.

"Doctor," Rose breathed. She could feel all his pain and it was crippling her. "I..."

"No," he shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. She could tell how hard he fought to lock the pain away from her. She shouldn't have to bear it. It was not her fault. "This is the right thing," he said, his voice brittle. "This was never meant to be, Rose." He swallowed hard, still not looking at her. "My people forbade it for a reason. It destroys everything it touches." Agony ran through Rose's blood at those words. Words she'd thought herself. It wasn't fair. That something that could feel this good, this important, this right and wonderful could be wrong.

The Doctor somehow managed to disentangle himself from Rose and get to his feet. He thought his knees might immediately fold under him but somehow he remained standing. He held out his hand for Rose but she shook her head. He understood her. There was too much pain between them and touching meant not only feeling your own but the other's as well. He understood if she couldn't take that. He wasn't sure he could either.

So he closed his hand into a fist and withdrew it. He wanted to tell her it would all be alright. But he remembered how much it had hurt when she'd told him that and he'd known everything was anything but alright. She didn't deserve all this pain he brought to her life. She deserved to be happy. And removing the bond would do that. It would. It had to. But he had no idea how to accomplish it. As far as he knew the bond was absolute. The mere creation of it forged a fixed point in time. No matter it would probably kill the both of them to attempt it, altering fixed points could unravel the whole universe.


	36. Chapter 36 - Tempered steel

Chapter 36 - Tempered steel

The Doctor set the TARDIS down as gently and quietly as he could. He'd been to check on Rose half an hour ago. She'd been sound asleep. If you could call twisting and turning and most likely having nightmares as sound. It had been difficult for him to leave her like that. But he'd had no other choice. Where he was going he could not allow her to follow. The TARDIS hummed down. It wasn't quite the pleasant familiar hum he was used to. It sounded a little queasy.

"Sorry," the Doctor said, tenderly running a hand along the console. "I know you don't like it here."

The Doctor retrieved his coat and drew it on before he left the TARDIS. He made sure the door was securely locked. For a moment he clasped the handle of the door tightly, second guessing his decision.

The place he would have gone to for answers was long gone. Gallifrey, its High Council and all its knowledge had burned in fires of his making. If anyone knew how to undo what he'd done it would be them. But they were lost. Gallifrey was lost. But there was still a remnant of that time existing in this universe besides himself. An entity of as much knowledge as it possessed malice. If there was any hope to be had it would be were hope never had a home. At the start of darkness and madness. A cursed nightmare of hollow stars and beauty turned rotten. The Forest of the Damned.

The Doctor released his hold on the TARDIS door and turned around. A vast forest surrounded him. Last time he'd been here sunshine had shone through the treetops, casting the forest floor in equal light and shadow. But there was no sun now. The sky overhead was dark and starless. This sky would never hold stars again. Thankfully lightning kept illuminating the night enough for him to see. Only it carried no sound with it. It was an eerie thing to behold.

The Doctor made his way through the trees. He could feel things moving in the shadows. Watching him. Just waiting to rip out his heart and feast on his soul. He walked into the clearing. The trees around him seemed even more rotten than last time, the lightning making the hollowed out bark twist into grotesque faces, laughing at him.

It wasn't there. The child that was not a child at all. The Doctor glanced around the clearing. White flowers covered the ground, their pristine beauty so at odds with the rest of the forest. The rest looked as though it was slowly decaying. The rot contorting the trees into misshapen, convoluted shapes.

"I didn't think I'd see you so soon, Time Lord." The eerie child-like voice chirped through the trees. The Doctor twirled around, searching for the sound. He didn't have to search for long. The thing that used a child's shape materialised out of the darkness. It licked its fingers as it walked into the clearing. The Doctor noticed it wasn't wearing the thimble like pieces of metal to cover its blackened fingertips. Blood, red and shining were dripping of its hands. Its tongue flicked out and caught an errand drop as it ran down its finger. The Doctor looked on in disgust. He had to struggle not to think about where that blood came from.

"I love what you've done with the place," the Doctor said, indicating their surroundings.

"Moorish, I know," the child said with a smile. He put the pieces of metal back on his fingers. Something moved in the darkness at the edge of the clearing, making the Doctor immediately turn towards the threat. "No, no," the thing chided in its sing-song voice. The monster in the shadows reluctantly retreated. "You must forgive them," the boy said. "Food has been...scarce lately."

"Good," the Doctor said. The boy's eyes narrowed on the Doctor. For a moment the Doctor was unsure what the thing would do. But then a horrible smile cleaved the boy's face. It was horrible in its beauty.

"Where is your girl?" the boy asked, watching the Doctor with child-like curiosity that just made it all worse. This thing was not a child. There was no part of it that was innocent. That had ever been innocent.

The Doctor didn't answer. He couldn't bring himself to talk to this thing about Rose. It had been bad enough last time when she hadn't let him go without her. "Is she still just as pretty?" the boy asked, walking into the clearing. "I have to admit even I was quite taken by her." The Doctor fought not to scream at the boy to not utter one more word about Rose. It was so beyond wrong to even have her in that things head. "Oh, come now," the boy chided. "You know I won't give you anything unless I get something in return."

The Doctor swallowed hard, fighting his revulsion. "She's back on the TARDIS," he said in a strained voice. The boy nodded with a smile.

"Did she forgive you for what you did?"

"Don't know what you mean."

"Oh, come now Time Lord. She was prepared to die. She had made her peace with it. You took it away from her."

"She wanted to live," the Doctor insisted.

"No," the boy said, shaking his head. "She wanted to be alive. Is she? Is that beautiful creature you tied to yourself alive? Or is a bird in a cage no longer a bird but an echo of what it once was?"

"I didn't come here to play your games," the Doctor warned.

"Well, TOUGH!" the boy suddenly screamed. Its shriek of a voice carved through the silent forest like a blade. The lightning overhead fired off across the sky in a spiderweb of light. "You are in my world now, Doctor!" The monsters in the shadows seemed to get riled up as the boy's temper rose. They snarled and snapped in the darkness. "The world you banished me to!" the boy screamed. "I am the Nightmare Child! You created me! I was born out of your war! Out of your chaos!"

The entire forest shook with the child's anger. The wind picked up. Lightning flashed. The Doctor took a step towards the child. And suddenly the woods around them seemed to bend slightly around the Doctor instead of the boy.

"Yes," the Doctor said, his voice dropping an octave or two. There was a slight shift in the air. This world might belong to this thing. But the Doctor was not a force to be taken lightly. Not if you wanted to live. "Let's keep in mind just who put you here," the Doctor reminded him, his face dark as lighting flashed overhead. "After you gorged yourself during the Time War."

The Nightmare Child had been a force born out of that, the greatest of wars. The Time Lords had made many mistakes. The creation of the Nightmare Child was one of the worse ones.

The child smiled, black ooze staining its teeth and dripping off its chin.

"What a time that was," he said with glee. "Everyday I could feast on the death and misery your species brought about."

"We didn't start that war," the Doctor said.

"No," the boy agreed. "But you finished it." It smiled wickedly, wiping its chin of the black goo. The boy flicked its hand in a delicate motion. The black liquid fell on the white flowers at its bare feet. The minute it reached the petals the flowers began to whither and rot. The Doctor's upper lip twisted in disgust.

"You never could keep from tainting everything around you," the Doctor said.

"No. Much like you Doctor," the boy pointed out with obvious malice. "But isn't it the nature of horrid things to crave the beautiful? Even if all it does is corrupt it?" The Doctor bit his tongue, choosing not to reply. It didn't matter what this terrible creature would try to make him believe. The Doctor was nothing like the Nightmare Child. It had devoured planets and entire systems in its endless hunger.

The boy smiled knowingly as though he could tell just what the Doctor was thinking. The Doctor imagined it wasn't that hard for it to guess. His disgust must be written all over his face. The child however seemed to rather rejoice at the Doctor's revulsion.

"Are you going to tell me why you've come to me this time then, Time Lord?" the child asked, regaining his eerie sing-song voice. The Doctor steeled himself, placing his feet wider apart as though a more solid stance would somehow be beneficial when dealing with this monster that had chosen to take the face of a child.

"You know what I did," the Doctor said. The boy nodded.

"You took your human girl and tied her to you." The boy wandered along the clearing, wiping more of that black goo from its mouth and letting it drop down onto the flowers, creating a trail of death in its wake. "Even though you weren't allowed." The child smiled. "Naughty, Doctor."

"I need to undo it," the Doctor said, ignoring its words. The boy laughed. A shrill twisted sound.

"Undo?" it mocked.

"Yes," the Doctor ground out, struggling as much this time as the last time he'd been there to not walk over and wring the things neck until it snapped. The child turned back.

"It can't be undone," he said with a twisted smile. "You know that."

"There must be some way. You ate civilisations. All their knowledge. You know more than any one thing in this universe."

"Not many Time Lords though," the boy pointed out with a wag of his finger. "You were hard to catch."

"I'm sure you ate enough of them," the Doctor growled. The boy continued walking around the edge of the clearing, his eyes on the Doctor.

"It's not meant to be undone," it said.

"But they must have had a way incase it happened," the Doctor tried. The boy shook his shoulders.

"Perhaps," it allowed.

The Doctor waited, thinking he wasn't going to beg, yet knowing he'd do it if that's what it took.

"There were some precedence," the boy said.

"What happened to these precedences?" the Doctor asked.

"Your Council had them executed of course," the child said, rather cheerfully. "It was forbidden you know."

"No, The Gallifreyan Council would never issue a warrant of termination for that," the Doctor refuted hotly. "It would never pass." Time Lords were peaceful. In the Doctor's view sometimes too peaceful.

"No, I imagine it wouldn't," the boy agreed.

"Then what are you saying?"

The boy bent down, watching closely as the white flowers withered down around him.

"I'm saying they did it anyway."

"They wouldn't," the Doctor swallowed hard. "They wouldn't." The boy looked up at the Doctor, smiling knowingly. The Doctor realised it sounded as though he was trying to convince himself more than the boy.

The Doctor had told Rose that whatever information he had about the bond was based on legend. But they weren't so much legends as horror stories, meant to scare them at the Academy. They were the stories whispered in dark corridors and told to frighten the younger children. Tales of Time Lords who'd lost their minds. Who'd torn apart the very fabric of time and space in their madness.

"Tell me, Doctor," the boy said. "You've been married, you've had children. Did you love your Time Lord wife? Or lady as it were?"

"Of course," the Doctor replied.

"But not like you love her, right? Your Rose?"

"No, not like that."

"Do you know why?"

"It... it was arranged," the Doctor managed to get out, feeling a lump forming in his throat. "All Time Lord marriages are arranged."

"So this can't happen, right?"

"Yes."

"Is it really so hard then to believe if someone did step out of line and bonded like you've done. That your Council wouldn't snuff that threat out without blinking?" The child smiled with twisted pleasure. It was enjoying this. "You've heard the stories. You're entire race has and that President of yours, he was directly linked to the Matrix right? All the knowledge of past generations. He or she would know exactly what that bond could do."

"What exactly can it do?" the Doctor asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

"Why, burn down the universe." The boy gave him a wicked smile. But the Doctor shook his head.

"No," he denied.

"You've bonded, Doctor," the child insisted. "There is nothing, no crime, no atrocity you won't commit for her, nor she for you. Give that to your average life from and you have a beautiful life- long commitment to one another. Give that to a Time Lord and watch the world burn."

"No," the Doctor kept denying. The child looked at him with curiosity in his strangely purple eyes.

"You think you won't break time to save her?" The Doctor said nothing. "Isn't that the very reason you're here? You know fixed points can't be altered. Not without unraveling time itself. But that's what you want to do. For her."

"I just want her to be happy," the Doctor insisted.

"Yes, and you'd do anything to make sure she is. Anything."

"I love her."

"I know." The boy straightened. It tapped one metal-clad finger against its chin. "You know, you Time Lords always claimed to be so high above such things." He watched the Doctor thoughtfully. "Yet you were the beings with the highest capacity for it in all the universe." It laughed a little to it self, shaking its head in private amusement. "Always thought that was an amusing contradiction." The boy continued its slow walk along the edge of the clearing.

"Is there a point at all to this?" the Doctor asked, his patience wearing thin.

The child stopped walking and turned to the Doctor.

"My point," he said. "Is that if you wish to set your bird free you must wring its neck." The Doctor felt his blood run cold inside his veins. "There is no undoing what you've done. The only thing you can do is follow in your Time Lord brethren's footsteps and end it before that love you share destroys everything around you. That's it."

The Doctor spun on the child. "You're lying," the Doctor spat. "The Council would have found a way. They would never simply execute people."

"For being a Time Lord you know so very little of your own species true nature," the child observed.

"I know no President would ever have condoned such actions," the Doctor insisted.

"Then you simply don't know how devastating that bond has been in the past," the child said simply.

"I refuse to believe you."

The Doctor simple couldn't let himself entertain the notion of sanctioned murder. Not by his own people. They had many faults and they had made many mistakes. The Doctor would be the first to admit it but they were not a cruel race. He simply could not believe that.

"Believe what you will," the boy said with a shrug of his tiny shoulders. "I got what I wanted."

"And what exactly was that?"

The boy's face cleaved in a triumphant smile. "Why, my revenge of course," he said. The Doctor's eyes narrowed on the small child.

"What?" the Doctor asked, feeling a hint of trepidation run like a shiver down his spine.

"What did you think, Doctor?" it asked mockingly. "I used to feast on galaxies and you trap me here, living of scraps! You thought I wouldn't hurt you? You thought I wouldn't break you if I got the chance?"

The Doctor took a couple of threatening steps towards it.

"What did you do!?" he barked. The child laughed.

"I gave you what you wanted," it said. "It just happened to be what I wanted too."

"You did this!?" the Doctor screamed. "You did this to Rose! You did this to her!?"

Lightning flashed in the starless sky overhead and for the first time that evening a thundering rumble accompanied it. Lightning cut through the sky, hitting the ground just at the child's feet. It scuttled back, a hint of actual fear in its eyes.

"I didn't do this to her!" the boy spat back at the Doctor. "You did!" He laughed as thunder roared. "All I did was tell you where to go. You made the choice! You put your bird into that cage you call a heart! Or hearts."

"NO!"

"YES!"

The Doctor stalked closer to the Nightmare Child. He squashed the flowers under his feet but didn't care. Thunder and lighting cried across the sky and the Doctor didn't care.

"Tell me how I undo it!" he screamed at the child.

"You can't!" the child screamed back. "Did they teach you nothing old man! You created a fixed point! Undo it and unravel time!"

"I don't care!" the Doctor screamed. "I won't loose her for this!"

The boy laughed, manic and frenzied. "That's the beauty of it, Doctor!" the boy laughed. "You can't. You made her yours forever. That's what you wanted isn't it? You got your wish. She's yours until it kills you both."

"No."

Lightning cut through the night, hitting the twisted trees around the forest. Immediately the rotten bark caught fire. Flames leaped up out of the treetops around them. The Nightmare Child stared at the building chaos, equally exited as it was terrified.

"Never thought I'd see the day," it said. "You really are something different aren't you? Time Lords, always so very afraid of chaos but you thrive on it. Is that why you could do it? Is that how you could destroy them all?"

"Shut up," the Doctor growled. He wasn't screaming anymore. He wasn't overcome with grief and fear and anger. Instead a calm, fury burned in his chest, fuelled by something he had very little understanding of. An ancient strength with no more mercy than an oncoming storm.

The trees were burning around them. But the Doctor was only half aware of it. The Nightmare Child however. It's eyes kept darting about as the fire creeped towards them. Another lightning strike hit the ground at the creatures feet. And another.

"You shouldn't be able to that!" he screamed at the Doctor. "This is my world!"

"You think your mind stronger than mine? the Doctor asked darkly. "Think again."

"Kill me then!" the child screamed with faked bravado. "But know that I got my revenge on you, Doctor!"

Lighting struck the boy. He screamed. Its sound shrill and inhuman. As the lighting lit through him it illuminated all the twisted and corrupted features that hid beneath the innocent face of that child. Grotesque and twisted shapes. More lighting hit the ground. It lit more trees. Fire raged around the Doctor. An inferno of his fury.

Then something broke through that blinding rage. A voice unlike any other. The voice of hope and joy, reminding him of everything that had ever been good in his life. It was her voice. It was her presence. Her essence, nearly close enough to touch.

The Doctor managed to pull himself out of the dark hole he'd dug for himself, using her voice as his lifeline. He looked around, his fury replaced by sudden panic as he saw the fire raging around him.

"Rose!" he screamed. She came stumbling into the clearing. She was covered in soot and wearing nothing but her nightclothes.

"Doctor!" she called out as she spotted him.

"Rose get out of here!" he screamed. He looked around. Everything was on fire.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rose screamed at him. The Doctor glanced back over his shoulder. There was no sign of the Nightmare Child. Either it was dead or it had scurried back into the shadows were it belonged.

He heard Rose scream. His head flipped back towards her just as he saw a burning branch fall from a tree overhead. He shouted her name as the branch fell burning over her. He ran. He ran faster than he ever had. He jumped over the burning log, finding Rose on the ground. He fell to his knees next to her, his hearts pounding away inside his chest.

"Rose? Rose!?" his voice was frantic. She moaned and struggled up on all fours.

"I'm ok," she said. "I'm ok." He clasped her arm, helping her to her feet.

He took her hand in his, feeling that familiar link blazing up like the fires around them.

"We gotta get out of here," he said and she nodded. His hold tightened on her hand and they both ran.

The forest was falling apart around them. Fire burned through the hollow trees, entire sections crumbling or crashing to the forest floor. Rose and the Doctor ran through the fiery chaos, dodging burning branches and jumping over fallen logs. The fire sparked and crackled and smoke was getting in their lungs. The Doctor heard the sound of breaking wood seconds before a large branch collapsed right above their heads. He grabbed Rose and spun her away. Her back hit a tree that had not yet started to burn.

The Doctor pressed himself tightly to her, shielding her as best he could with his body. Burning branches fell from above them. He felt bits hit his shoulders and ashes falling into his hair. He could feel the frantic beat of her single heart against his chest as he pressed himself tightly against her, doing everything he could to protect her from the fire. Her rapid breath came out in puffs against his neck. Broken branches stopped falling from overhead. They had to get out of there. Or they would be caught in the ever building blaze.

The Doctor ceased her hand again and without another word they both ran. The Doctor could see the TARDIS up ahead. Though fire had touched the trees around her she looked fine as usual, a blue beacon in the inferno. The Doctor could feel the relief coming from Rose across the bond as she saw the ship. The same relief he himself felt.

Fire chased them as they rushed towards the TARDIS. They were running out of time. Always out of time. The Doctor's hand tightened on Rose's and by sheer force of will he managed to put on an extra burst of speed, dragging her with him as burning trees collapsed behind them.

The Doctor shoved the key into the lock as they reached the TARDIS. He pushed opened the door. They both crashed through it. Rose stumbled, catching herself against the railing. She struggled to breathe air that thankfully wasn't poisoned with smoke and ash. The Doctor shut the door and ran up to the console. The TARDIS hummed to life as he ran around flipping switches. The ship dematerialised from the burning forest of the damned. The Doctor hoped that creature born out of nightmare and war burned with it.

Rose staggered up the ramp. The Doctor gave the controls over to the TARDIS and hurried over to her. He clasped her arms rather roughly.

"Are you ok?" he barked, capturing her chin between his fingers, turning her head.

"Y...yes," she croaked, struggling not to cough.

"Rose, are you ok!?" he very nearly screamed, too frenzied to have heard her answer.

"Yes!" she answered more forcefully, making sure he heard her this time. His eyes ran over the planes of her face, down the length of her and back up again. "I'm ok," she repeated.

"What the hell were you doing!?" the Doctor demanded to know, his voice rising more in fear than anger.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Rose shot back at him.

"You could have gotten hurt!" he barked. "You could have died."

"So could you! What were you thinking going back to that thing?!"

"I was looking for answers," the Doctor said, letting her go.

"Fine, let me rephrase that," Rose told him harshly. "Why did you go alone?!" The Doctor ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair, shedding ashes around him as he did.

"It wasn't safe for you," he mumbled, his eyes darting about the room. "It's never safe. You're never safe."

"Doctor, what are you...?" He turned away from her before she had a chance to finish.

The Doctor hurried over to the console and began pushing buttons. Rose stared nonplussed at his back. A device came lowering down from the ceiling. It was one Rose had never noticed before, hidden in the cables and wires hanging from up above. Rose had no idea what he was doing.

The Doctor grabbed the thing and pulled it towards him. It looked like some metal torture device to put on ones head. She had no idea what it was for. The Doctor fished his sonic out of his pocket and began running it over the macabre looking headset. His movements were frantic. He had soot smeared on his face and ash still in his hair. He coughed from the smoke in his lungs but didn't once stop to bother with it.

"Doctor?" Rose asked. He didn't answer. She took a couple of steps towards him, his desperation actually scaring her a little.

She had awoken alone in her bed by the urgent hum of the TARDIS. Remnants of nightmares had kept fluttering inside her chest. But she'd pushed them away because something had been wrong. The TARDIS wouldn't have woken her up for just anything. She had struggled out of bed and gone in search of the Doctor. But one quick check across the bond told her he wasn't anywhere on the ship. The hum of the TARDIS had grown more insistent and Rose's own worry had slowly turned to panic. She'd rushed out of the TARDIS finding herself in that horrible forest once again. Where the Doctor had gone to search for answers to save her life when she'd been dying. It looked quite different from their previous visit but it was the feel of the place that was the same. It made you feel cold all over.

Lightning had roared across the night sky and the trees had seemed to shake with it as Rose hurried through the woods. Then the lighting had struck the treetops and they'd caught on fire. It had taken mere minutes for the forest to be ablaze. But she didn't turn back. She could feel him. The fury burning through him. If she didn't stop him he would stay here and watch as everything turned to ashes around him. She hurried through the forest until she'd made it to that clearing. There she'd found him.

He'd been standing, watching that eerie, evil child as lighting tore it apart. He stood and watched as it screamed. As the forest burned down around him and he'd not moved a muscle. She could feel that he took no pleasure in it but neither did he feel any aversion for it. What was happening was just and therefore it would be done. It had taken for her to shout his name several times for him to hear her and even then he'd not quite come to his senses until she'd stumbled into the clearing so he could see her.

"Doctor?" she tried again. His hands were running rapidly over the device, his sonic flashing blue. "What are you doing?" Rose asked when he did not answer her. "Doctor?" She walked around him.

"If I can reconfigure it to match your specific gene-code. Maybe I can... But of course there is the feedback loop. Wasn't designed for humans. Certainly not ones like... well.. you... I just have to..." He was rambling, his words so rapid she could barely perceive what he was saying.

"Doctor, stop," Rose pleaded. But he continued his frantic fiddling and endless mumbling.

Rose reached over and caught his hand. At her touch he became absolutely still. "Doctor, what are you doing?" Rose asked again. He finally raised his eyes to hers. They were filled with a painful desperation.

"I have to save you," he said.

"You're not making any sense," Rose told him. "What is that thing?" She nodded down to the headset he was still holding. He glanced down at it.

"A Chameleon Arch," he said.

"And what does it do?" Rose asked.

"It rewrites biology," the Doctor said, backing up a step so her hand slipped from his. "Specifically Time Lord biology."

"Explain."

"It can turn me human. If' I wanted it to."

"Human."

"Yes."

Rose stared at the metallic headpiece. "Ever thought of using it?"

"Yes," the Doctor admitted. "I did use it. Once." Rose nodded, not asking him to explain further.

"And what do you hope to achieve with it now?" Rose asked.

"If I could reprogram it to fit your DNA instead of mine..."

"You think it can somehow rewrite the parts inside me that aren't human," Rose concluded. The Doctor nodded. "In so doing erase the bond." He nodded again. "Can it?" Rose asked. After a while he shook his head.

"I'm afraid it will just kill you. The feedback...-" Rose held up a hand to stop his words.

"I don't need the details," she said. The Doctor kept quiet. He let go of the Chameleon Arch, placing it on the console. "Tell my why you burned that place down," Rose said. "And don't even try to tell me it was not your doing. I felt you."

"The thing who resides there..."

"He was placed there as punishment for crimes to great to speak of. That's what you told me," Rose pointed out.

"Yes. But it was I who put it there and the crimes happened during the last Time War. It feasted on entire galaxies. Gorging itself on the chaos the Time Lords and the Daleks wrecked upon the universe."

"I take it he didn't have the answers you were looking for," Rose said.

"No. It didn't."

"Right." Rose stepped back from him but he caught her hand, stopping her.

"Rose, I'll find a way. I promise. Even if I have to bring Gallifrey back or break the time- lock to get there. I'll do it."

"And tear the universe in half? You'll do that too?" Rose asked.

"Rose..." he moved towards her and she drew back.

"Don't you see, Doctor," she said sadly. "We are right back to where we started. Breaking something won't mean fixing something else."

His gaze fell from hers. He couldn't stop his thumb from brushing across her knuckles, from enjoying the way her skin felt. Bond or no bond touching Rose Tyler would forever have the power to bring him to his knees. He nodded. She was right. Rationally he knew she was right. But it was so hard to remain rational when she was at stake.

"You're like heated steel," Rose said. His gaze flickered back up to hers. "You just burn. But to be strong you need to be tempered you know."

The Doctor reached out, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. Rose let him.

"You temper me," he said, leaning his head against her shoulder. "You make me strong."

"Than trust me," Rose said. "Don't run off on your own. We have to do this together, yeah?" He nodded against her.

"Together," he agreed. "Always."


	37. Chapter 37 - A promise best kept

Chapter 37 - A promise best kept

"What about this?" Rose asked handing another book over to the Doctor. He took it and skimmed through the text she'd found. He shook his head.

"It's about the preferred method for growing hearty beets." He put the book in the 'not much use'- pile.

"Beets?"

"Beets," he confirmed, turning back to the book resting in his lap. They were sitting on the floor in the TARDIS library. Books were strewn about everywhere. There were piles of them stacked higher than Rose's head at the moment. Many lay opened on the floor or waiting to be read. They'd been at it for hours.

The TARDIS library was extensive to say the least. And really the only surviving knowledge of the Time Lords. It had been Rose's idea to see if they could find anything about the bond, hidden inside those walls, forgotten among the pages. An idea she'd actually gotten from River. She was the one who had pointed out that there were stories out there that had survived Gallifrey's destruction.

At this point their greatest weakness was ignorance. They knew so little about the bond and what it meant. The Doctor talked about it as though it was a ghost story, a child's nightmare. River had talked about it as though it was a tragedy.

Either of them could be right. But a small part of Rose couldn't help but wonder, what if both of them were wrong? What if it wasn't a tragedy? Or a nightmare? What if it didn't have to end in fire and pain? At some point the bond had served a purpose. One that didn't mean mutualy assured destruction. They just needed to learn more about it. Understand it.

Even if she'd agreed that trying to undo the bond was the right thing to do she was certain that blindingly doing anything and everything to undo it would never end well. When the Doctor had first created it, it had been a rash, desperate decision. Made in the midst of pain and fear. Undoing it could not be the same thing.

Rose reached over and picked up another book. Most of the ones they were going through were in Gallifreyan and Rose still couldn't read it very well. She only knew a few symbols. Mostly numbers that she'd learned while the Doctor had taught her how to fly the TARDIS. So she skimmed through them, looking for key words.

The symbol for the bond was an intricate one of overlapping circles and lines. The Doctor had drawn her a picture of it to use for reference. It was beautiful in a strict geometrical way. But so far she hadn't found it any of the texts she'd searched through.

"How did you even know what to do?" Rose asked, as she ran her fingers over the circular shapes scribbled across the pages. "If you knew so little about it."

"Instinct," the Doctor replied distractedly while his nose was stuck in his own book. Rose paused and looked up at him.

He was sitting crosslegged. He'd discarded his suit jacket some time ago. He was in his dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his tie a little askew and his hair a wonderful mess. He scratched the side of his head as he squinted at his book through his glasses.

"But you knew what would happen before you did it," Rose mused thoughtfully. He nodded. "How?"

"Well, I wasn't absolutely sure until the starfire," he explained, his eyes running rapidly over the pages as he read. "But I suspected. It was why I never... Why I thought I could never be with you." He flipped a page, pausing and looking up. "It just felt different," he said. "Just holding you or taking your hand it was like... " he trailed off, looking for the right word.

"Gravity," Rose finished for him. His eyes shifted to hers.

"Yeah," he agreed, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Gravity." Rose smiled a little in return, turning back to the book in her lap.

"I think this might be about gardening," she said hesitantly. "Or possibly warfare. I can't tell." She held up the book and the Doctor squinted at it.

"Both," he concluded swiftly. Rose returned the book to her lap.

"Both?" she asked in surprise. "How can it be about both?"

"You'd be surprised how many similarities there are to creating the perfect flowerbed and obliterating enemy forces," the Doctor told her.

"I'm sure I would," Rose muttered, feeling rather deflated.

So far they'd found nothing of any real use. She sighed in annoyance and discarded the book. She turned on the floor, spinning and lying back. The Doctor just had time to remove the book he held as she flopped down with her head in his lap. She felt him immediately tense up. Something he had begun to do too often. Rose hated it. It was as though he feared any contact however small was enough. Which was ridiculous. They could touch without everything falling apart. "Why couldn't the TARDIS help us again?" Rose asked, looking up at him. He looked back down at her as she slowly felt him relax.

"Because we don't know what we're looking for," he explained. He put the book he was holding on the floor and removed his glasses. He leaned down over her. Rose could sense the beat of his dual hearts, beating in a rhythm with her single one. She could feel his mind unable to fight the urge to reach for hers. Sometimes when they were both relaxed enough she could feel every single thing about him. The blood pumping through his veins, the oxygen in his lungs, how time bent around him, stretched out before him or trailed behind him.

"There are no books on this," he said. "Any information we can hope to find will be in other books. Hints and references. She can only locate titles, subject matters. That sort of thing." Rose sighed.

"No books just marked, The bond - everything you need to know, then," she muttered.

"I'm afraid not," the Doctor replied, running his knuckles lightly across her forehead and down over her temple. Her skin tingled and she could feel the corresponding sensation in his fingertips. She smiled up at him. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," she said, her smile widening. The Doctor might be afraid but Rose thought that if they were going to loose this she might as well enjoy every precious moment she had left.

Rose reached out her hand to the side, her eyes not able to leave his as she did. Her hand searched across the floor until she found another book, picking it up. She pulled up her knees where she lay and placed the book against them. She opened it and finally managed to tear her gaze from the Doctor's. "You must've had the patience of saints," Rose said as she stared at more circular Gallifreyan. All intricate rings and lines.

"How so?" the Doctor asked, absentmindedly running his thumb back and forth across her cheekbone. Rose tried really hard not be the distracted by it.

"Well, it must take forever for you to write things down like this," Rose remarked. "It's like art. Beautiful but headache- inducing art."

The Doctor looked up at the book she had opened.

"There is a short hand," he said. He looked around at all the books littering the floor and snatched one up. He put it in front of the one she had. It was a leather-bound book much in the style of a journal. He opened it to the very first page. Instead of the circular shapes, there was one line written in letters a bit like hieratic script. The simpler form of the Egyptians hieroglyphics. Rose only knew to compare it because she'd done a paper on it in school when she was twelve.

"Ah," she said with delight. "That makes more sense." The Doctor glanced down at her in surprise.

"Well, you can't read it, can you?" he asked.

"No, of course not." The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief and closed the book. Rose looked up at him. "Why?" she asked with suspicion.

"Nothing." He tossed the book away. Rose sat up and spun to face him.

"Doctor...?"

He cleared his throat awkwardly. Rose watched him for a moment and then she lunged forward for the book. He immediately flew towards it to intercept her. But she snatched it away, right beneath his fingers.

Rose scrambled to her feet, sliding on some of the books on the floor as she did. She spun with the book triumphantly in her hand. The Doctor was standing, his eyes fixed on the book.

"Rose..." he said warningly. She smiled at him, her tongue sticking out between her teeth.

"What's written in this book, Doctor?" she asked playfully.

"Nothing," he insisted.

"Yeah? That right?" He made a grab for the book but Rose danced easily out of his reach."Come on," she said, scuttling back. "Not like I can read it."

"Then give it back," the Doctor suggested.

"Sure," Rose said. "Okey." She held out the book for him.

The Doctor watched her wearily, clearly not trusting that she'd give up that easily. He moved quickly. But she was quicker. She snapped the book away a second before he would have gotten it.

"But you'll have to catch me first," she declared with a wink and twirled on her heel. The Doctor knocked over a pile of books in his haste to catch her. The sound of the heavy tomes striking the floorboards echoed through the library. Rose scurried away between the bookcases, the Doctor cursing behind her as he gave chase.

"Rose!' she heard him call out as she ran, zigzagging between the rows upon rows of bookcases. She laughed. The twinkling sound of it carrying through the huge room. "Rose!" She laughed more, turning back and jogging backwards.

"You're too slow Doctor!" she called out, just as she bumped into something, stopping her with a huff.

"Is that so?" the Doctor's voice sang out from behind her. She twirled around. He was what she'd bumped into.

He made a move for the book and Rose immediately held it away from him, smiling unabashedly. "Rose..." he said warningly again. But she could tell how hard he was struggling not to smile.

"What's in it, Doctor?" she asked again, backing up a couple of steps. When he didn't answer she spun around, making another run for it.

Rose yelped as he caught her around the waist before she got anywhere. She laughed as he pulled her back against his chest, immediately stretching out her hand as far as it would go in an attempt to keep the book from him. The Doctor kept one arm around her waist and used the other to try and reach the book. Rose giggled as he failed to get it.

"Rose..." He could no longer keep from laughing so her name came out in fractions. "Rose," he tried again but failed.

"That is my name," Rose was saying. "Use it with care, yeah." He laughed softly in her ear.

"Outmost care," he agreed, nearly tipping her over in his struggle to get the book.

Rose spun towards him, managing to get both her arms past him and holding the book behind his head. She smiled cheekily at him.

"Come on, Doctor," she laughed. "It's right here." She wiggled the book behind his head where he of course couldn't see it.

"Give me the book, you troublemaker," the Doctor ordered, smiling. She shook her head, her hair falling about her face.

"Or what?" she dared.

"Or..," he said. "...I'll have to resort to truly drastic measures," he told her.

"Now I'm scared," Rose mocked, smiling.

"Oh, you should be," he assured with a nod of his head.

"Quaking in my metaphorical boots," she agreed, because she was in her socks at the moment.

"Yeah, I can feel that," he said, his arm coming around her, drawing her a little closer. His smile turned crooked. Rose realised she might actually be trembling a little. That however had absolutely nothing to do with fear. At all.

"So... these drastic measures," Rose was saying, trying do distract herself from the circles his thumb was currently drawing at the small of her back. "How drastic are we talking? Threats? Death? Mutilation?"

"I could kiss you," he interrupted her and Rose actually felt her heart pause for a second.

Ordinarily she might have laughed at such a comment. But the Doctor put just enough dark amusement into it to make it far more seductive than funny. Add to that the fact that it was probably the last thing she'd expected him to say. He'd been so careful with being close to her. Too careful. She imagined he thought that keeping a distance was better but if anything it was far worse. Somehow Rose managed to act unaffected.

"You're not that good of a kisser," she lied. His smile widened. She could act unaffected all she wanted but he could most likely feel every single tingle that ran through her body, every heated thought that rushed through her head.

"That so?" he murmured, leaning down towards her, close enough that his lips brushed by hers when he spoke, making her knees a little weak.

"It is," she confirmed, the breathlessness in her voice however giving her away further.

But if he could sense all these things in her, she could sense them in him too. No matter how cool his voice sounded, the arm he had around her waist trembled and his breath was slightly uneven. It was like ever since the Doctor had blocked off the bond it was more alert. Sparked off quicker. Which meant it was more unpredictable than ever. And also far more diffcult to resist.

With every breath the Doctor's lips touched lightly against hers. So lightly she wondered if she wasn't imagining it. She wanted him to make good on his threat. No matter how reckless or dangerous. He wanted to as well. She could feel it. But of course he didn't.

Rose felt the playful shift in his mind a second before he moved. But she was too dazed to react in time. Before she could stop him he'd somehow grabbed the book out of her hands, twisting away from her and jumping back. She blinked at him as he stood holding the book and smiling with triumph.

"Not fair," she told him.

"Love and war," he declared, smiling at her without a drop of remorse. They stared at each other for a moment, waiting to see who would make the first move. It was Rose. She lunged for the book and the Doctor spun and ran. Rose ran after him.

Both laughed as they rushed through the labyrinth of books.

"And who's slow now!" the Doctor called back to her. She laughed in response.

"You cheated!" she called after him. He disappeared at a bend. Rose turned and took another route, thinking to cut him off. She ran between the bookcases. She could hear him calling to her but couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Most of the stacks were not orderly arranged into neat rows. The whole place was a twisting, winding labyrinth which seemed to have no real logic to it at all.

Rose turned around another bend and slammed right into the Doctor.

"Ouch!" they both exclaimed in unison. Rose lost her balance and the Doctor tried to catch her. Which only resulted in them both toppling over. They hit a bookcase next to them and tumbled to the floor in a flurry of limbs. The bookcase rocked precariously. Books spilled from the shelves before the whole thing crashed to the floor with a loud bang right next to them.

Both Rose and the Doctor burst out laughing. Their laughter swiftly turned hysterical as they both rolled around on the floor. Rose simply couldn't stop. Even when her stomach was cramping up. The reason for that was most likely because of a lack of use. It felt like it had been ages since she'd laughed like this.

After surely ten minutes both of them were still clutching their stomachs, trying unsuccessfully to stop laughing.

"Rose," the Doctor breathed, giggling hysterically. "Stop."

"You, stop," she struggled to get out, still giggling and rolling around on the floor.

"It's fatigue," the Doctor was trying to say. "We should..." The rest of the sentence was lost in another laughing fit.

Rose didn't know for how long they laid there laughing like a couple idiots. But there was a reason people said laughter was the best therapy.

"Doctor?" Rose giggled.

"Mmhm," the Doctor answered, half coherently.

"What's really in that book?"

"Oh, you know, just my very secret plans to take over the universe," he said, dismissively.

"Aah," Rose nodded in understanding. "All your failed attempts at world-domination. I see."

"What?" He rose up on his forearms and fixed his dark eyes on her. "I'll have you know, Rose Tyler that I would be excellent at achieving world-domination." Rose glanced over at him with a doubtful expression. "I would!" he exclaimed. "I would be so good that... that people would write songs about how good I'd be." A brief burst of laughter Rose couldn't hold in broke from her lips. "Oi! Don't mock," he accused. Rose bit her lip.

"Sorry."

"Yeah, I'd be so good I'd... well.. I'd... I'd just be rubbish at it wouldn't I?" he concluded with a sorrowful twist of his lips. Rose nodded.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she said, with fake sincerity. She made her way over to him. "But you'd be be bored inside of ten minutes," she told him, fighting not to smile.

"Yeaaah, I suppose you're right," he admitted with a characteristic tilt of his head. "Not really fond of lording over people."

"Said, the lord of time," Rose mocked. The Doctor turned an ear-to-ear grin at her.

"A runaway lord of time," he pointed out. She smiled back at him.

As Rose got close to him she spotted the book in question. It was lying next to his hip. Rose kept smiling at him as she discretely moved her hand towards the book.

"So," Rose began innocently. "Since you're such a renegade..." But she fell silent as the Doctor caught her hand before she reached the book. Before she had chance to react he'd rolled her over and gotten her flat on her back, leaning over her with a near vulpine smile on his lips. He leaned down, putting his mouth near her ear.

"A bit of advice," he whispered playfully. "If you're going to attempt that again try not projecting your thoughts quite so loud," he said. Oh, she'd unwittingly sent her thoughts across the bond. That happened sometimes. Infuriating to no end. "I really should start teaching you how to control that," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"You've said that before," Rose pointed out. "But you never do."

"You're so good at keeping your thoughts from me when you want to that I rather enjoy the occasional slip," he said, his nose brushing against her neck. "If I could choose I'd have you in my head all the time," he murmured softly.

The Doctor continued to nuzzle her neck. Rose didn't know why he was suddenly apperantly not caring much about being careful. She wanted to be reckless and think to hell with it but she knew they couldn't. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why couldn't the universe just let them be happy?

"Careful, Doctor," Rose regretfully reminded him. At this he groaned in annoyance.

"I hate being careful," he said. "I hate it. You'll never understand how much," he told her. "Always, ever since I bloody met you... I've always had to be so damn careful when all I've ever wanted to do was just grab you and kiss you until you forgot your own name." Rose's breath got caught in her throat and she was forced to clear it.

"Forget my own name hu?" she asked him, her voice hoarse and unsteady. He chuckled.

"Yes," he agreed. "And until I forgot mine to. Though that would probably happen after all of two seconds I imagine."

"I think you might be overstating my skill, Doctor," Rose told him, unable to keep from smiling.

The Doctor straightened up so he could see her face. He let his fingers brush lightly against her lips. A shiver ran through Rose's body.

"I can't even seem to remember how to breathe when I'm kissing you," he said. "There is this thing you do," he murmured softly, his eyes trailing down, watching his fingers as he touched her. "Right between a sigh and moan. It drives me mad," he said.

The Doctor's eyes moved back up to hers. He watched her for a moment. Rose could tell he was trying to work something out.

"So do you really want to see what's in that book?" he asked after a while. Rose looked up at him, biting her lip. She did. Of course she did. She was curious by nature. But she didn't want him to feel he had to show her. If he did she wanted it to be because he chose to.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"It's a journal," the Doctor replied.

"Your journal?" she asked and he nodded. "Do you want me to see what's inside it?" she asked. He thought about it for a moment.

"Yes," finally admitted. "I can't say I want you to know every inch of my mind one minute and then hide things form you the next."

The Doctor sat up, turning away from her and retrieving the book from the floor. Rose struggled up so she was also sitting. He handed the book over to her. She accepted it hesitantly. She didn't know why he'd been so reluctant given that she wouldn't understand what was written within its pages anyway.

"Open it," he urged.

Rose opened it carefully. She flipped past that first page with the Gallifreyan scribbles on it, expecting more of the same. But she stopped dead as an english word jumped out at her. She turned back a page.

"A journal of impossible things," she read. She looked up at the Doctor. "I can read it," she said.

"That's because it's in English," the Doctor explained. Rose turned back to the book. She turned the page and found herself smiling. There were drawings of the TARDIS. The console. The police box. Next to it was scribbled;

 _There is a big center peice in some kind of ship, it has wires all around it, bright light. Wires connect the light piece with the whole room, I feel safe there. It seems to be some kind of controll panel or consol._

The handwriting was rather hard to make out and the spelling was worse than her own. Rose looked up at the Doctor in confusion.

"I don't understand," she said. "You write about the TARDIS as though you don't know what she is."

"I didn't," the Doctor replied as he watched her carefully. "We were running from the Family of Blood. Their lifespan is short unless they can consume the life of another. A Time Lord to be precise. They would get all my years, free to rain destruction across the stars for a millennia. So I used the Chameleon Arch to turn myself human. To hide. No memories. A completely new man. But the Doctor kept bleeding through. In dreams mostly. So he wrote them down."

Rose turned back to the journal. Flipping through the pages she recognised the Cypermen and the Daleks. Beautiful drawings next to hasty scribbles like errant thoughts.

"You said, we..?" she trailed off, letting the question hang in the air.

"Martha," the Doctor answered. "She looked after me."

"Remind me to thank her," Rose said."I can't imagine what work you must have been as a human." The Doctor smiled, Rose turning another page. There she found the drawing of a woman she did not recognise.

She had dark hair and her dress reminded Rose of an old nurses uniform. The one who'd drawn her had thought her beautiful. You could see it in the lines. They had been drawn with care and affection. Rose ran her hand over it.

"Her name was Joan," the Doctor said. Rose swallowed hard.

"You loved her," Rose said, staring at the drawing.

"John Smith did, yes," the Doctor confirmed.

"The human you." Rose concluded, her eyes filling up with tears. She wasn't sure if they were for herself or Joan or the Doctor.

The Doctor nodded. He reached out and flipped the pages.

"But the Doctor didn't," he said, revealing a page with a drawing of Rose's face on it. It was a bit blurred and indistinct but it was definitely her. And roses. Careful drawings of roses. Rose snivelled a little as she concentrated on reading the words written across the pages.

 _I find myself wanting to draw a perfect Rose, over and over although I cannot find a Rose anywhere!_

 _Roses_

 _A perfect Rose._

 _It's a perfect Rose._

 _Rose perfect Rose_

 _In my dreams I keep asking a girl where to find one, and she is dressed in the most extraordinarily way._

 _She will not answer me, and she keeps walking away._

 _I keep dreaming of a girl._

 _Girl in my dreams._

 _I remember this girl. I have drawn her. Although I know her well in my dream_

 _I know her well, I know._

 _I know her._

 _She is my something or my everything._

 _But in my dream she keeps walking away_

 _I see her in my dreams_

 _She wont answer me, and she keeps walking away_.

A tear fell from Rose's eye and landed on the page, blurring the ink. If she had been able to tell there was love in the lines of the drawing of Joan. These lines and these words held all the longing, pain and yearning of loss.

"Even when I'd erased everything I was you were still with me," the Doctor was saying, curling his fingers around hers. "You're always with me."

Rose looked up at him. "I don't..." she began but fell silent. Another tear ran down her face. The Doctor reached out and brushed it away. She knew he hated seeing her cry.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," he said. Rose shook her head.

"I'm not sad," she assured. "I'm not sad." And she threw herself into his arms. He hadn't expected it so the force of the impact knocked him back a bit. But he quickly regained his balance, instantly wrapping his arms around her.

"I never forgot you," he said into her hair. "Not for one second." Rose's arms tightened around him and she buried her face against his neck.

 _I love you_ , she whispered from her mind to his. _Please, remember that. Whatever happens. I will always love you, Doctor._

"I'll remember."

 _Promise_.

"I promise."

 **\- Ok, I feel I must officially apologies to all of you who have left such wonderful reviews. I've been terribly slow in replying to you and thanking you. School has been insane. It's why the updates have been rather sporadical as well. So thanks to all of you who have stuck with this story besides all that. You are all amazing! So very amazing!**

 **Since I can't directly thank the guest reviewers I thought I might do it here. So thank you to, Glowinggreeneyes, Star scout, whovian and those of you who just left a review as 'guest'. You are all wonderful and thank you so, so much!**

 **If I missed anyone I'm sorry, just know that your reviews and follows mean so much to me! I can't begin to explain just how much.**

 **Now, the parts out of the 'Journal of impossible things' are taken from the DW episode, Human nature. The handwriting was difficult to distinguish and John Smith's spelling was indeed terrible. I only took one liberty with one line, beyond that it's directly from the book we see in the episode.**

 **I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a review if you like! And thank you again! All of you! -**


	38. Chapter 38 - Quite the pair

Chapter 38 - Quite the pair

The Doctor and Rose sat on the floor, holding on to each other in the dusty old library for a while longer. Neither really felt like letting go. Rose had often wondered when she'd been alone on that parallel world if he'd thought about her. If her name ever came up. If he'd missed her. Or if he'd chosen to pretend to forget she'd ever existed like he had with Sarah Jane. Now she had her answer. He had erased his entire memory but even then hadn't been able to erase her.

The Doctor held her tighter to him for a moment before both realised they had to let go or they wouldn't do it at all. Rose clutched the journal to her chest before holding it out to him. But he shook his head.

 _Keep it_ , he told her softly across the bond, giving her a small smile. He got to his feet and held out his hand for her. Rose took it and he pulled her up.

"There are things in there you should know anyway," he said. "All my past faces for instance."The Doctor kept his hand in hers. "Just don't expect them all to look like this," he said, fixing his tie importantly as though he was the most handsome thing in the universe. Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"I've been in your wardrobe," she told him. "Nothing can surprise me." He laughed as they made their way back.

They didn't let go of each other's hands until they reached the spot they'd made into a research central. Which was really just an open space on the floor, now littered with books. Rose sat herself back down and the Doctor followed suit, leaning his back against a bookcase. Rose chose a book at random. But before she had a chance to open it the Doctor caught her attention.

"Come here," he said, holding out his hand for her. She looked over at him still a little surprised. But made her way over. She snuggled in between his long legs.

"So you've finally decided that I won't burst into flames?" Rose said as she leaned back against his chest. At first he didn't answer.

"I'm sorry if I've been... distant these last couple of days," he finally said with regret in his tone. "I don't know how I'm supposed to handle this," he said, taking a deep breath. "Touching you but not..." he trailed off, running his fingers slowly up and down her bare arm as though testing out his thoughts. "It's... difficult," he finished. "But not being close to you at all.. that's just... well... seems I can't do that at all. We just have to be... carful I guess. "

Rose captured his hand and held it up before them, palm against palm. She thought she could almost see the strings winding between them, tying them together.

"You hated carful," Rose pointed out.

"Just because you hate something doesn't mean it is the wrong thing to do," the Doctor said. "Just as if you want something it doesn't mean you should always get to have it."

"Why is it..," Rose began. "...that you're so sure the whole universe might implode if you allow yourself to have something you want?" There was an actual hint of frustration in Rose's voice.

When she had first met him he'd been larger than life to her. A hero, good to his very core and strong of both will and mind. Then she'd discovered that there'd been darkness hidden deep inside his soul. Darkness born out of being forced to make impossible choices. Choices that could not help but taint his view of himself and who he was. She had still believed him capable of all that good and seeing himself through her eyes she thought he'd begun to see it again to. Then this had happened. Again he'd been faced with an impossible choice. Save her and risk the world or let her die. Either choice would have been devastating.

"I thought for a moment I could have you," the Doctor was saying. "Just for a moment I actually believed it and then you almost died because of it." He twined his fingers with hers. "As long as the bond exists every fibre of my being yearns for you. Constantly. It is only a matter of time before I've convinced myself that I can have just a taste. At first that I can just hold you like this, just take your hand. Stolen moments. But it won't stop there. I know it won't. And then you'll be hurt again. All because I allowed myself to have something I wanted."

They sat in silence for a while. Rose didn't know what to say. No words she could think of seemed enough to ease the ache she heard in his voice or the one she felt in her heart.

"Do you want me to move?" Rose asked, breaking the silence that had begun to threaten to suffocate the room. She felt him shake his head.

"No." His arms tightened around her. "Stay. Just... stay." Rose could feel his uneaven breath stirring a few tendrils of her hair. She leaned into him, enjoying the way her body fit so perfectly against his. "Like you said, if we are going to loose this we might as well savour every moment we get, right?" Rose nodded.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"So what did you get?" he asked, rapidly changing the subject. Rose turned her attention to the book that was still in her lap. She took a deep breath and held it up. "Hm..." he said thoughtfully. Rose held the book as the Doctor opened it. Circular Gallifreyan again. Rose had to struggle not to sigh. "So, what's this about then?" he asked her. She twisted her head to glance at him.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I thought you wanted to learn," he said.

"I do. Of course I do. But all these symbols for different things," she muttered. "Makes my head ache."

"You're thinking about it wrong," he said. "All the rings are letters making up words that make up sentences which gives you the meaning. We just write the sentence in a circle rather than a straight line." The Doctor looked at the mess around them. "Do you have the paper where I wrote the word for the bond?" he asked.

"Yeees," Rose drew the word out slowly as she searched around them. She spotted it beneath a blue book. She reached over and snatched it up, quickly settling back against him. She gave him the paper.

"Alright," the Doctor said clearing his throat. "If you see the outer circle like a clock you always start reading at six. That is your first word." He pointed to a circle containing three smaller ones, with one of these holding three dots and another a ring at the top. "To simplify things you can correspond each of these with one of the letters in your alphabet. That basically works. A lot of the meaning gets lost but we'll do this for now for simplicity's sake. Then you read it counter-clockwise. Always."

He was running his finger across the paper as he spoke. Rose followed it raptly, trying to take in all that he was saying. She did want to learn this.

"Are you with me?" he asked after a while. She nodded. She pointed to that first circle at 'six o'clock'.

"So this says essentially, bound?" she asked. He nodded, smiling proudly.

"See, you are brilliant," he said. She glanced up at him smiling back before returning to the intricate web of circles on the paper the Doctor held. She ran her fingers counter-clockwise across them, actually reading it. And not just recognising a symbol. She froze at the last ring in the circular sequence.

"How did it go?" the Doctor asked when she said nothing. Rose cleared her throat.

"Um...yeah.. so..." she started at the beginning again. "Bound across time...," she read out loud. "...and space..." she paused before the last two circles. "...until death."

Silence followed her words. "That about right?" she asked.

"That would be the literal translation," the Doctor confirmed. "But this here," he pointed to one of the circles. "It's not just time and space as you see it. It's everywhere and nowhere. Beyond the universe and at the beginning of it. And this," he pointed at the last circle where she has hesitated. "It means until death, yes but it also means through life. Through all your days. Through every sorrow and every joy."

"Ah," Rose said.

"But..." he began.

"Yes, yes," Rose interrupted him. "Our primitive tongue don't have the scope to define its meaning," she said, doing a good impression of the Doctor's most pretentious tone of voice.

"Was that suppose to be me?" he asked. "I don't sound like that. All pompous."

"You can sound very pompous when you want to," Rose said.

"I can?"

"Oh, yes," Rose confirmed, staring at the paper in his hand. No matter how you interpreted the words. They still spoke one very simple truth whether it was until death or through every day. It would still be forever.

"You really think we can find a way to undo this?" Rose asked him as they both stared at the piece of paper.

"We just can't give up hope," the Doctor said. "Hope can do marvellous things, Rose." The Doctor's hope might be in finding a way to undo the bond but a part of Rose's hope lay in finding a way to live with it. If only they learned more perhaps they could figure out a way to make it more stable. She knew both of them struggled with the power of it. It had scared Rose since the very beginning. The way it seemed to obliterate everything else. But ever since that moment on the Dalek Crucible she was convinced that however strong or scary the bond was it wasn't bad. It wasn't evil or wrong. It was right and wonderful. Or it could be. In that moment it had been.

The Doctor put the paper away.

"We are going to be ok," he told her. Rose nodded. Whichever way the pendulum swung at the end, they would be alright.

"Of course we are," she agreed. "As long as we're together we'll always be ok."

"Always," he said, kissing the top of her head. She struggled up and picked up another of the many books littering the floor.

"Because you're brilliant yeah?" Rose said, handing him the book. "And I am also brilliant, so we are going to figure this out." She settled back against him, focusing on the book in her lap while the Doctor opened his.

Rose sighed after a while. No matter she understood some of the basics of this circular script, trying to read it was still giving her a headache.

"What's Rassios?" Rose sighed. The Doctor glanced down at the page she had opened.

"Rassilon," he corrected. "Important man."

"Important how?" Rose asked, struggling to make out more of the circles before her.

"He was part of the reason the Time Lords were what they were." The Doctor put away his book and focused on Rose's. "You've gotten a hold of old court records," the Doctor said.

"No wonder this is giving me a headache," Rose moaned, preparing to close the book and discard it when the Doctor stopped her.

"Wait," he said, placing his hand on the page to stop her closing the book. She glanced at the circular shapes again. One of them jumped out at her.

"Is that the one for the bond or is it beets again?" Rose asked, staring at the word.

"No," the Doctor said. "It's the one for the bond." Rose tried to discern the Gallifreyan writing. But it was far too complex for her to make any real sense of it. The Doctor leaned down, reading over her shoulder.

"What does it say?" Rose asked.

"Nothing," the Doctor replied.

"Nothing?" Rose asked with disbelief, glancing up at him. "What do you mean, nothing?" The Doctor flipped the book shut to read the title on its spine.

"This is an index," he said. "We need the accounts that go with it."

He got to his feet disappearing among the bookcases. He came back after eleven minutes, carrying not a book but a single page.

"You ripped out a page from a book?" Rose asked, aghast. The Doctor wasn't the kind of person she'd ever thought would rip a page from a book. He shook his head.

"This was all I had," he said, sitting down next to her. He handed her the page. It was old, parchment-like paper. It was scorched at the edges as though someone had tried to burn it. It held only one set of circles. She had no idea what they meant. She looked at the Doctor with a question in her eyes.

"It says Peylix," he said. Rose still didn't understand.

"What's a peylix?" she asked.

"It's not a what it's a who," the Doctor explained. "He was a Time Lord. One of the founders. Him and Rassilon. But he wasn't known by that name."

"What name was he known for then?"

"Omega."

Suddenly the whole TARDIS shook. The Doctor and Rose looked around in confusion.

"What was that?" Rose asked. The Doctor shot to his feet.

"Nothing good," he said. He held out his hand for Rose. He pulled her up before rushing out of the room. Rose grabbed her discarded sneakers from the floor and hurried after him.

They ran through the hallways, getting quickly to the console room. The lights were flaring overhead in warning. Rose struggled into her shoes as the Doctor hurried over to the monitor.

"What is it?" Rose asked, jumping on one leg.

"Whaat?" the Doctor exclaimed, staring at the screen.

"Doctor?"

"Whaaat?" he repeated. "They can't do that! " He pressed buttons and turned dials. "No one can do that!"

"What, Doctor?" Rose asked, making her way over to him. "Who's done what?" He took off around the console, pulling wires loose and reattaching them to other sections. Sparks blew and he fell back a step to avoid them. "Doctor!" Rose shouted to get his attention.

"No, no, no," he muttered.

"Doctor, what is going on?!"

He stopped and looked up at her.

"We're being boarded," he said.

"You can't board the TARDIS," Rose told him. The Doctor's gaze fell from hers. "Right?" Rose placed her hands against the console, leaning forwards. "Right!?"

"No," the Doctor agreed. "You can't. No one can. Not anymore." The TARDIS shook violently. Both the Doctor and Rose clutched the edges of the console.

"What do you mean, not anymore?" There was a slight flutter of worry in Rose's voice.

"During the Time war," the Doctor explained, his hand making circular motions in the air as he spoke rapidly. "The Daleks..." He ran past her. "They became experts at fighting TARDIS's."

"The Daleks are dead, " Rose said, holding on to the console as the TARDIS shook again.

"Now you sound like Jack," the Doctor pointed out. "You know it's never that simple."

"Yeah, but we blew them up," Rose insisted. "If there are Daleks around they're scavengers, fractions."

"No, fractions could do this," the Doctor said, staring at the screen. "But..."

"But what?"

"None of these readings actually read as Dalek. They're..." Again the TARDIS shook. Rose could feel the ship desperately fighting whatever had her trapped.

But there was no use. They were being pulled in. Boarded. However impossible. The shaking stopped. They landed whether any of them wanted to or not. Rose stared at the Doctor while he stared at the monitor.

"Oh, you've got be kidding me," the Doctor said. Rose made it to his side. Her eyes widened as she saw the image on the screen.

"Oh, you've got be kidding," Rose echoed.

Both of them recognised the pale, black clad woman they could see on the screen, standing outside the TARDIS, surrounded by Judoon. The Shadow Architect.

"Doctor!" they heard her call out in her authoritative voice. But the Doctor had made that authority shake the last time they'd met her. "You will relinquish Rose Tyler!" the Architect demanded. Just as the Judoon had at New Years. Rose guessed they knew who'd sent the Judoon to get her now. They just didn't know why. The Doctor pressed a button on the monitor.

"Madam Architect," he said, his voice far too cheerful. "I'd say it was nice to see you again but then we'd both know that would be a big fib."

"Rose Tyler, Doctor," the Architect demanded again. "Hand her over now and we won't blow your little ship into dust."

"Little?" the Doctor snorted, clearly offended. "Don't listen to her," he said reassuringly to the TARDIS as he stroked the console. "We both know you can't even dent this ship," the Doctor told the Architect.

"Oh, can't we?" she said. "I suppose we can't capture it either then? Or lock on to it for that matter?"

The Doctor turned to Rose. "I don't know how they got this technology," he said. "But I can't guarantee she can't do what she threatens." Rose clasped the Doctor's hand.

"It's ok," she said. "We might as well figure out what they want." But the Doctor shook his head.

"No," he said. "I can't risk you. I won't."

"If they wanted me dead they would have shot me on site at New Years. They didn't," Rose pointed out. The Doctor scrunched up his face in dislike.

"They did shoot at you," he pointed out. Rose could actually feel how much he didn't like this. How putting her in any kind of danger was scaring the living crap out of him.

"Look. just let them take me. Then you go and destroy whatever they used to trap us." Her hand tightened around his. "Then you come and get me and off we go. Piece of cake." He glanced doubtfully over at her.

"Do you have any idea how much that could go wrong with that plan?" he asked her.

"Are you mocking my plan?" Rose asked back, straightening, her hand slipping from his and a smile spreading on her lips. "My perfectly brilliant plan?"

"Your shot in the dark- plan, you mean," the Doctor told her as she backed away from him, towards the TARDIS doors. "Rose, don't," the Doctor pleaded.

"I won't have her blowing up the TARDIS," Rose said. "No one is so much as denting this beauty of a ship." The Doctor fought and failed to keep from smiling at that.

"Fine," he ground out in obvious frustration. "But I'm going out first," he said, pointing one very firm finger at her. He got his long, brown coat and pulled it on before walking past her to the TARDIS doors. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "If anything goes wrong..." he said. Rose sighed.

"Nothing's going to go wrong, Just open the door, Doctor," Rose interrupted him.

"Wait here," he said and walked out the door. Immediately Rose heard the TARDIS door-lock click into place.

"Oh, no you don't," she growled and went for the door. She unlocked it without much difficulty. He couldn't pull that stuff on her anymore. Rose stepped out. The Doctor was standing with his back to her, facing the Architect who was flanked by a troupe of Judoon, all with their weapons pointed at the Doctor.

The Doctor glanced back at Rose over his shoulder as she emerged from the TARDIS, careful to close the door behind her.

"Oh well, it was worth a try," he sighed. Rose took up her place next to the him, her gaze fixed on the Architect. The woman's red eyes and white skin was as unsettling as ever.

"Rose Tyler," she nodded towards Rose with a pleased smile. "Secure her!" she told the Judoon. Immediately they moved and immediately the Doctor shifted his position so he was between them and Rose. He held his hands up.

"Wait," he said. The Judoon halted. "She has a right to know what she's charged with," the Doctor told the Architect.

"She ran from custody at our last meeting. We have a warrant for her arrest," the Architect explained.

"That is not the answer I asked for," the Doctor pointed out.

"It is our duty to guard this universe against threats. Any threat, Doctor," the Architect said, her voice cool and clear.

"She is no threat to you," the Doctor told the woman.

"We will be the judges of that," the Architect said, nodding to her Judoon to take Rose.

"She is my responsibility, not yours," the Doctor insisted, halting the Judoon for a second time.

"We have a responsibility towards every life in the universe, Doctor and she may be a threat to all of them."

"We've been over this before," the Doctor said. "I won't let you take her."

 _Sticking really well to the plan here, Doctor,_ Rose hissed across the bond.

 _I have to sell it don't I,_ he told her back.

But Rose could feel it. He wasn't selling anything. He meant every word.

"You have no convenient battle cruiser heading towards us this time," the Architect said. "And we now have the technology to battle yours."

"Yeah," the Doctor jumped on the topic. "How have you managed that? It is way beyond you." The Architect drew herself up, looking down her nose at them. "We are far more formidable than you might think, Time Lord," she said haughtily.

"No, you're not," the Doctor said simply. "Someone helped you." The Doctor took a step closer to the Architect. "Who?" he asked, looking curiously at the woman. She deliberated for a moment.

"If we tell you, will you allow us to take the girl?" the Architect proposed.

"I'll tell you what," the Doctor said, his tone of voice dropping just enough to let Rose know the Architect was now on dangerous ground. "You tell me who helped you and I won't burn everything down around you for even thinking you could ever take anything from me that I love. How about that?"

Rose had never thought you could use love as a threat. But the Doctor could. He was raising the stakes, waiting to see if they'd rise to meet them. Or if they would be smart, tuck- tail and run.

The Architect looked at the Doctor and Rose could see a hint of that fear she'd seen in the woman the last time she'd stood head to head with him.

"Doctor...," Rose began.

"Not now, Rose," he interrupted her as he stared the Architect down.

"Can we at least try to be diplomatic," Rose suggested. "You used to be very good at that."

"I think I'm being exceedingly diplomatic," the Doctor told her. "I'm actually giving them a chance. Which is more than they deserve at this point."

"We are not going to hurt her," the Architect ground out. "We just need to assess her threat level." Rose came up at the Doctor side, clasping his arm.

"See, Doctor," she said. "They're not going to hurt me, so stop scaring them."

"Is it working?" the Doctor asked the Architect. She looked at him slightly bewildered.

"Is what working?" she asked.

"Are you scared?" the Doctor articulated. The Architect was doing a fairly good job at hiding it but Rose could still see that flutter of fear in her eyes. The Shadow Architect was simply not foolish enough not to know when she was faced with something dangerous and out of her control. One could also tell she hated it.

"I know your threat-lever," the Architect said. "What I don't know is hers." She nodded towards Rose. "She is an unknown element. I don't like unknown elements. They scare me."

The Doctor scrutinised the woman for a second longer than he straightened and smiled, of all things.

"Alright then," he said cheerily. "We have an agreement."

"Good," the Architect said, breathing the faintest sigh of relief.

"You'll tell us who is helping you and I won't burn your new pretty base down. Or blow it up or tear it apart with my bare hands or just, you know, the power of my mind. Lovely," the Doctor said with a brilliant smile. Rose put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"Doctor," the Architect ground out between her teeth. "Need I remind you that we can burn your ship...-"

"Oh, I doubt you can actually do that," the Doctor interrupted her. "The Daleks could barely manage to properly destroy a TARDIS. Fight them yes, but destroy. That's tougher. And unless you have a Dalek hidden around here somewhere," he said, glancing around the room. "Then I think you're just making idle threats at this point."

Rose still had her hand over her mouth, hiding her smile. He was impossible, she thought to herself.

 _You like it_ , she heard the Doctor's voice in her head. She glanced over at him in surprise. His smile widened as his eyes met hers. Ok, so not so much a thought to herself. He turned his attention back to the Architect.

"So," he said. "Who's helping you then?" he asked her.

"You best follow me," the Architect said, sounding none to happy about the turn of events but neither all that surprised.

The Shadow Architect nodded towards the Judoon and they holstered their weapons. She walked away. The Doctor and Rose shared a look before following her. The Judoon formed a wall of black leather and raw strength around the three of them. Rose leaned closer to the Doctor.

"Why do I get the feeling that when you said you enjoy the occasional slip you actually meant it wasn't that occasional?" Rose whispered, referring to her projecting her thoughts without meaning to. "How often does it happen?"

"Oh weeell," the Doctor drew the word out. "Every now and then," he said as they walked down the halls of the Shadow Proclamation. The walls were white and clinical, the floors high polished. It was a stark contrast against the black-clad Judoon and the long black dress of the Shadow Architect. "I usually ignore it," the Doctor was saying, "...because... well.. sometimes the thoughts you send tend to be... kind of... private."

"Oh, god," Rose moaned with absolute mortification, putting her hand across her eyes as though that could somehow make it untrue.

She had no problem sharing most of her thoughts with the Doctor. There weren't really any secrets she felt she needed to hide from him. She was scared about what River had said about her leaving but the Doctor was convinced he'd found a way to keep that from happening even though Rose wasn't so sure about that plan. But that was nothing she needed to hide. But it wasn't the big things like that, that she feared he might have heard. It was the everyday private thoughts every human being had. The- why isn't there pillows shaped like helmets so you don't have to rearrange the pillow all the time - thoughts. Or a group of starfish should be called a galaxy. Or god forbid thoughts like; he looks really cute in that shirt but even better without it. Or, please run your fingers through your hair again it's so sexy when it's all messy.

The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly. "Rose, your doing it again," he whispered out of the corner his mouth. Rose's face turned pink.

 _Oops_.

"But you're right," the Doctor said, leaning down closer to her. "A group of starfish should definitely be called a galaxy." Rose hit him in the stomach. The Doctor let out a surprised breath of air.

"Shut up," she told him, not knowing if she should laugh or cry. "Why haven't you told me?"

"It really doesn't happen that often," he assured. "It was more frequent after... Mickey and when you were missing you mum a lot. It's usually just when you feel something very strongly. Errant thoughts about starfish and my hair rarely happens." Rose moaned in horror.

"What's the worse thing you've heard?" she asked. The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but Rose cut him off before he had a chance. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know," she said. "When we're out of here you are teaching me to control this," Rose told him firmly.

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed a bit reluctantly. "I will."

The Shadow Architect glanced back at them.

"According to our records Time Lords had a rather strong telepathic ability," she said, making Rose wonder if she'd heard and understood their hushed conversation. "Does she possess any such ability?" the Architect asked.

"No," the Doctor immediately told her.

"I'd advice against lying, Doctor," she warned.

"Not lying," the Doctor said. "She can hear my thoughts and I can hear hers, that's it. She can't read yours."

 _I can't?_ Rose asked across the bond.

 _I don't know_ , the Doctor replied. _But I'm not telling her that_.

"And Bad Wolf?" the Architect asked.

"How do you know about Bad Wolf?" Rose asked back.

"Those two words are written all across time," the Architect said. "It is what you named yourself is it not?" Rose didn't answer. "The both of you seem to have a propensity for naming yourselves. The Doctor and the Bad Wolf. The one who fixes and the one who rips things apart. Quite the pair."

The Doctor reached out and took Rose's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Though Rose wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure her or himself more. She knew it hurt him to think that what he'd done had turned her into a potential weapon. But she knew she didn't have to be a weapon. At least that is what she repeatedly told herself. That it was her choice.

They turned down another hallway. At the end was a door with one Judoon guard on either side. The Architect walked up to the door. A green light flared, running over them all. Rose had a feeling it was scanning them. Then the door slid opened.

"Follow me," the Architect said and continued on. The Judoon that had walked with them stayed behind as Rose and the Doctor followed the Architect.

They came into a huge cavernous room. Everything around them was white. Except the boxes. Big, black six by eight feet boxes hung suspended with wires in midair, like they were all caught in a spiderweb. There were hundreds of them, filling the room. The white walls around them were curved to create a dome structure to the room. It was so big. The Doctor, Rose and Architect were standing on a platform at the bottom. The Architect walked over to a white, sleek control panel.

"What is this?" Rose asked, as she stared around at the enormous room.

"It's a prison," the Doctor answered in a levelled voice. "I bet everyone of those black cells holds a prisoner."

"The vilest scum of the universe," the Architect said as she pressed a series of buttons on the control panel.

"Is this where you wanna put me?" Rose asked.

"If I would be allowed to choose?" the Architect said. "Yes." The hold the Doctor had on Rose's hand tightened. She could feel the anger stirring inside him at that notion. The Shadow Architect glanced at the Doctor over her shoulder. "But then I think we'd have to lock him up too," she said. She pressed more buttons and the platform they were standing on began to move. It sailed up. "Who knows. Maybe one day we'll have to put both of you in here," the Architect said as they flew towards the black prison cells.

They sailed smoothly between them. Rose couldn't tell what they were made of. Some kind of shiny black material. She could vaguely see their reflections in the black walls as they passed by.

"That will never happen," the Doctor told the Architect.

"Let's hope not," the Architect agreed.

The platform sailed to a stop at one of the boxes. The minute it attached itself to the box the black faded, revealing a now completely transparent room with one small bed and a desk and chair. A woman was standing with her back towards them in the middle of the room. At least Rose thought it was a woman. She was wearing white shapeless pants and a shirt. The shirt was opened at the back, the ends tied together with string, much like a hospital garment. The gap at the back revealed strange metal that seemed to be attached to her spine, grotesquely fused with her flesh. Wires ran along her skin and out along her arms. The metal eerily resembled Dalekanium, the stuff that made a Dalek. The woman's head was bald and as she turned around Rose couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her lips.

"Agent Tyler," Annabelle Conn said with a twisted smile. "We meet again."


	39. Chapter 39 - Beauty in the unknown

Chapter 39 - Beauty in the unknown

Even though her hair had for some reason fallen out and her cheeks were hollowed, the skin beneath her eyes stained with dark circles there was no mistaking who it was locked up in that cell.

"You," the Doctor snarled. Annabelle Conn's eyes shifted to the Doctor.

"The Destroyer of worlds," she said. "Committed any more genocides while I've been gone?" The Doctor took a step forwards but Rose clasped his arm stopping him. She didn't let go as much to stop him as hold herself back. The sight of Annabelle Conn made Rose want to tear every atom that made her apart until she was nothing but dust. Hate with a darkness Rose was unused to surged through her chest. Rose rarely, if ever hated people. She could strongly dislike them, they could annoy her or she could despise them. But there were very few she actually hated.

"How are you alive?" Rose asked Annabelle Conn. "I watched you die." Annabelle watched the furious look on the Doctor's face for a moment before she answered Rose. She pointed to the metal at her back.

"If you recall, I got my back snapped in two at Torchwood. Thanks for that by the way," she said. "But Davros saved me. Made me this."

She twirled around as though she was modelling the latest Parisian fashion and not a macabre back-brace created by a madman. Her loosely fitted silk blouse with that high collar that she'd worn when she and Davros had tried to destroy the universe now made sense in a new way. It had hid this. "Kept me alive," Annabelle said.

"We found her in an escape- pod drifting in space," the Architect said. "She proved more useful than we ever would have imagined."

"You told them how to fight the TARDIS," the Doctor snarled, staring at Annabelle. "You learned how from Davros." Annabelle smiled. That horrible smile of hers that was just wrong. The kind of smile you'd imagine psychopaths wore as they tore wings of flies.

"How much did you tell them?" Rose asked, fear running like a shiver down her spine. Annabelle focused her eyes on Rose.

"Enough," she answered vaguely. Rose realised that this must have been how the Architect knew about Bad Wolf. Annabelle Conn had told her. How much had she revealed? Did they know about what the Doctor had done? About the bond? About what Rose could do or even the one thing that might contain her?

Rose knew Annabelle could see the terror on both Rose and the Doctor's faces as they went over in their heads all the knowledge Annabelle might possess and be more than willing to divulge.

The Doctor easily tore free from Rose's hold on his arm as it had gone slack. He stepped up to the transparent wall of Annabelle's cell. He looked about ready to tear the thing down in order to get at her.

"What are you getting out of this?" the Doctor asked.

"Simple revenge isn't enough?"

"Revenge doesn't motivate you," Rose said from behind the Doctor. "You weren't even interested in avenging your own sister. Even though she would have died for you."

"True," Annabelle allowed. "But you took so much more from me than a sibling, Agent Tyler," she said. "You took away my purpose. My destiny. I was going to help Davros create a new world. A better one. Grand in its perfection."

"Oh, wake up," the Doctor snarled. "There was no place for a human in Davros's new world."

"No, there was not," Annabelle agreed and as Rose understood the look on Annabelle's face she felt sickened.

"You wanted him to turn you into a Dalek?" Rose asked in disgust. Annabelle's eyes shifted to Rose's and she could see beyond the logic and science Annabelle claimed to hold so dear to the complete madness underneath.

"Despite of this thing," she said, indicating the brace on her back. "I'm still dying. My time as a supreme being would have been short lived."

"Supreme being? You're insane," Rose told her.

"Insane no," Annabelle refuted calmly. "Faulty, yes. My body never functioned as it was supposed to. I thought you might be able to help me there," she said, nodding at Rose. "But, turned out you were more of an anomaly than I'd ever imagined." She tilted her head to the side as she regarded Rose. "Nothing like you in all the universe. And all because you gained the love of him," she turned her gaze on the Doctor. "A man with all of time and space at the tips of his fingers and he chose you. He could have picked a warrior queen or an empress. But he chose you, a regular girl. Why?"

"If you knew her at all," the Doctor said. "You'd know she is all those things and more. So much more." Annabelle shook her shoulders.

"Maybe she is now," she allowed. "But not at first. When you met her she was ordinary. Nothing special. So why did the great Lord of Time take her with him hu? Doesn't really make sense does it?" No one answered her. "Oh, that question wasn't rhetorical," Annabelle said. "I genuinely want to know. Why her?"

Still no one answered. The Doctor was glaring, Rose feeling the amount of anger inside him that threatened to boil over. The Shadow Architect was watching them all with a curious expression, picking up on every word spoken. Annabelle was waiting in anticipation. She really wanted to know why the Doctor had offered to show Rose the universe on that day so very long ago. Why her?

"Because I want to be admired," the Doctor said, startling Rose. "I take ordinary people with me because they are easy to impress. I'm a lonely god in search of adoration." Annabelle's face cleaved in a near triumphant smile. "Isn't that what Davros would've had you believe?" Annabelle's smile faltered a fraction.

"Are you saying there is no truth to it?" she asked.

"No," the Doctor said. "There isn't. I might be lonely and lord knows I can't exactly deny that I like showing off now and then but that is not the reason I travel with, what you call ordinary people. It is because they are anything but. The ones you think ordinary are the ones with the largest capacity for greatness. They're the ones that prove the bravest, the most selfless, the most brilliant beings in the whole of the universe. You ask me why I chose Rose. I didn't. She chose me. She deemed me worthy. Me! She saw all my broken pieces and she didn't run. She just put me back together and you ask me why I love her? How can I not love her? How can I not worship the very ground she walks on? I owe her everything!"

Rose ceased the Doctor's arm.

"Doctor," she said softly, trying to draw him back while he tried to pull free. "Don't," Rose said. "She's not worth it."

"You really think you could have done that for me?" the Doctor spat at Annabelle, ignoring Rose's efforts to pull him back. "Because that is what you're asking isn't it? Why her when it could have been someone like you? Like you could ever measure up to her! Next to her you are nothing! Nothing!"

"Doctor, that's enough," Rose insisted and finally the Doctor let her draw him back.

Rose ran her hand down the length of his arm until she reached his hand. She twined her fingers with his, the bond flaring up as she touched his bare skin. The Doctor's eyes were still on Annabelle but Rose could see how her touch instantly affected him.

 _Not worth it,_ Rose whispered from her mind to his. _Pointless_. He finally tore his attention from Annabelle and turned to Rose.

 _I know_ , he replied. She could practically hear the sigh that went with the words. _But I meant every word._

Rose gave him a small smile. _I know_ , she told him.

"Well," Annabelle said, interrupting them. "Heated topic."

"Oh, shut up," Rose told her

Annabelle turned to the Shadow Architect.

"Our deal?" she reminded her. The Architect nodded.

"What deal?" Rose asked, looking from the Architect to Annabelle and back.

"Miss Conn has agreed to tell us all she knows in exchange for five minutes alone with the Doctor," the Architect said simply.

"What?" Rose turned to Annabelle. "What do you want him for?" But Annabelle only smiled. The Architect walked back to the sleek white console.

"Unless you're letting me use those five minutes to strangle her..." the Doctor told the Architect. "I want nothing to do with her."

"You're not curious?" the Architect asked.

"Well," the Doctor began. "..if my cooperation allows her to tell you secrets I'd rather you not know why would I?"

"Refuse and I'll tell them anyway," Annabelle said from inside her cell.

"See, Doctor," the Architect said. "You can might as well indulge her." The Architect pressed a series of buttons on the console. The transparent wall before them flickered. "You can pass through," the Architect told the Doctor.

"No," Rose said, shaking her head. The Doctor turned to her. "No," she repeated.

"Rose..." he began.

"No," Rose interrupted. "You don't know what she's capable off. You don't understand...-"

"I know exactly what she's capable of," the Doctor cut her off. "I watched as she gave the order to kill you right in front of me remember?"

His memory of watching her fall flashed unwittingly across the bond. For the blink of an eye Rose could feel how it had felt as though every cell in his body caught on fire. Feel that fire burn with a rage unlike anything he'd ever known. How he hadn't begged the universe to give her back to him but demanded it.

Then, when his demand had not been met and he'd felt her absence from his mind, from his soul. That emptiness, dark and bottomless, dragging him down into depths of despair for which there was no known concept, no frame of reference. Not even for a Time Lord who'd seen the very end of the universe itself.

The Doctor stepped away from Rose and the memory went with him. He caught her eye before he turned away from her.

 _I know_ , she heard his voice in her mind. Rose gave him a reluctant nod of consent. She didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. Whatever Annabelle wanted to use her five minutes for it was nothing good. Nothing good ever came from her.

The Doctor got a nod from the Architect, letting him know it was safe to enter the cell. Rose watched the mixed expression on Annabelle's face as the Doctor joined her in her transparent box.

She looked both exited and scared.

The Doctor stopped right at the edge of the room, getting no closer to her than necessary.

"Afraid of me, Time Lord?" Annabelle mocked.

"Don't worry," the Architect told Rose. "We monitor everything that is going on in that room. She won't have a chance to hurt him."

"I'm not so worried about her," Rose muttered.

Rose hated Annabelle Conn. Hated her for the part she'd played in Davros's plan, hated her for what she'd done to all those creatures locked up in the basement at Torchwood. Rose even hated her for not feeling a smidgeon of regret over her sister dying. Elsa Conn had been just as psychotic as Annabelle but her one redeeming quality was that she'd loved her sister. Loved her enough to sacrifice her health and ultimately her life for her. Annabelle didn't appear to love anything at all. Her fear of death seemed to be the only thing that motivated her. But what Rose hated her for the most was that she'd used Rose to hurt the Doctor.

And that hurt ran deep. What Rose wasn't sure about was if it ran deep enough that he would lash out at her because of it if Annabelle provoked him.

"I doubt fear has anything to do with it," the Doctor informed Annabelle frostily. "But being in the same room as you is not what I'd call pleasant."

"Pleasant perhaps not," Annabelle agreed. "But necessary. So don't be shy, Doctor." Annabelle motioned with her hand for him to come closer and reluctantly the Doctor complied. He stopped about an arms length away. One side of Annabelle's lips curved up, twisting her hollowed out face. She looked like a ghoul with her pale white skin, sunken eyes and bald head. Little of the power- hungry sociopath in her sharp suits was left in Annabelle's appearance. But the eyes, they were all her. Still desperate. Still insane.

Annabelle took a step up to the Doctor. He stayed absolutely still as Annabelle leaned closer. Rose found her hands clenching into fists, every fibre of her being wanting nothing more than to rush into that room and tear that horrid woman away from him. Annabelle caught Rose's gaze as she leaned in and whispered something in the Doctor's ear. She smiled knowingly at Rose before she drew back, enjoying every precious stab of pain or discomfort she could cause.

Then as soon as she did she made a move. Far faster than Rose would have expected in her sickly state. She grabbed the Doctor and flung him to the floor. She was on him in seconds. Rose rushed forwards but the Architect grabbed her, stopping her. At first Rose couldn't hear what the Architect was saying over the buzzing in her ears. She had to get into that room. She had to get Annabelle off him. That was all that mattered.

"You can't pass through!" the Architect shouted at her, her words finally penetrating the red haze clouding Rose's mind. "I have to approve you or that wall will render you unconscious in a second!" Rose whipped her head towards the Architect.

"Then do it," she growled. The Architect released her and stepped back. She hurried over to the white console, rapidly pressing buttons.

"Fine, go," she said. Rose didn't hesitate. Didn't think. She just acted.

Before anyone had time to react she'd made it over to the Doctor and Annabelle. She fisted the back of Annabelle's shirt and yanked her back, leaning down next to her so they were practically cheek to cheek.

"Two options," Rose hissed, her voice with an eerie sort of vibration to it. "Only one of them means you don't end up like your sister." Rose turned her head towards Annabelle. She smelled sickly sweet, some kind of combination of disinfectant and cotton- candy. Up close her skin was dry and pasty. Of course Rose noticed none of this. She was too busy trying really hard not divide every single atom that made up Annabelle Conn right then and there.

"Guess which," Rose growled.

Rose caught the flutter of Annabelle's pulse at the base of her throat. It made her seem suddenly fragile, weak and it made Rose loosen her grip ever so slightly. Despite her anger she would never be the kind of person that would pray on people weaker than her. Not even Annabelle Conn. "Off him," Rose told her. Annabelle stumbled to her feet. The Doctor immediately rushed to his.

Rose pulled Annabelle back with her, away from the Doctor.

"Rose..." The Doctor's voice was soft, almost hypnotic. Enough to make Rose look up. The Doctor took a step closer to them. Rose was still holding Annabelle's shirt and Annabelle was standing very, very still. "Let go," he urged. Closing the distance he reached past Annabelle's shoulder to clasp Rose's hand. "Let go," he repeated. At his touch Rose loosened her hold slowly. "Good," he said in that soft voice, nodding towards her while keeping his gaze fixed on hers. He was so very careful as though he was dealing with a dangerous animal. Rose couldn't quite see why. She hadn't lost control. She knew exactly what she was doing. She was keeping him safe. Her Doctor. "Go," the Doctor told Annabelle and she immediately scurried away.

The Doctor took her place, all the while his eyes never strayed from Rose's.

"Easy," he murmured. "I'm ok. Everything's ok." Rose looked at him curiously. The Doctor placed the back of her hand against his chest as he had at the Emperica and Rose could feel the beat of one of his hearts. "Breathe." She took a deep breath along with him and then she could feel both his hearts as though they beat inside her. The rhythm was soothing, its cadence reminding her of quiet evenings falling asleep against his chest, the drum of his dual hearts the only lullaby she needed. "That's it," he whispered. "Just feel me. We're good." Rose shook her head as though to clear it, looking up at the Doctor, the question in her eyes.

 _Did I?_ she wondered, suddenly doubtful.

 _No_ , he whispered back. _Close, but you're ok_.

"Perhaps it is best you both get out of there," rang the Architect's voice through the small room. The Doctor kept his hold on Rose's hand and pulled her with him. He glanced at Annabelle Conn before stepping out. "What was all that about?" the Architect wanted to know. "Did she injure you?" But the Doctor shook his head.

"I'm fine."

"I expect you to make good on our deal at the point of my next visit," the Architect told Annabelle Conn. Rose saw her nod, anger flaring in the pit of Rose's stomach. The deal was for Annabelle to spill all her secrets. Secrets that might be best if that's how they stayed. Secret.

Rose turned back to Annabelle. She stood in her cell watching them.

"Just answer me this, Annabelle Conn," Rose said. "What's in it for you? What are you really getting out of telling them everything? And don't say revenge because that is not in your nature." Annabelle drew herself up but said nothing.

"They're keeping her alive," the Doctor said, next to Rose. He turned his head towards the Shadow Architect. "Isn't that right?" he asked her. The Architect nodded.

"Some of the criminals in these cells have lifespans far shorter than their sentencing. The cells are a sophisticated life support system. It keeps the inmate alive until its sentence is done."

"You're gonna tell them everything so you could keep on living in a cell?" Rose asked Annabelle incredulously.

"Beats dying," she said.

"You seem unnaturally obsessed with staying alive," the Doctor remarked. "Any particular reason for that?" he asked, watching Annabelle. Her upper lip twitched involuntarily. She backed up and turned away from them without answering. Apparently she was done with their conversation.

The Shadow Architect pressed the controls and the platform disengaged from Annabelle's cell. The minute it did the walls once again turned black. Rose found herself thankful she could no longer see Annabelle Conn. If she ever did again it would be too soon.

The platform glided away between the black cells. Rose didn't want to think of all the creatures and people they housed and what they'd done to earn a prison like that. The platform flew smoothly through the air, carrying them down through the Shadow Proclamation's prison, passing black cell after cell until they were back where they had started.

The platform reattached to the walkway that lead to the door. The Architect pressed a few more buttons on the console, the platform locking in.

"Well, Doctor," the Architect said, folding her hands in front of her. "I held up my end of the bargain. Now you give us access to Miss Tyler."

"That wasn't the deal," the Doctor warned. "The deal was you showed us how you got your information and I let you keep your base despite the fact that you threatened Rose. That was the deal."

"Now, Doctor after New Years Eve on Lachrymose we need to establish a threat level at least..-"

"New Years," Rose interrupted her. "What happened at New Years?"

"What do you mean?" the Architect asked in confusion.

"Rose, don't," the Doctor told her but she ignored him.

"What happened?" Rose insisted. "Did someone get hurt?" The Architect looked from Rose to the Doctor and back again.

"No," she said carefully. "The rain turned into dust. According to the reports of the Judoon plutoon that were pursuing you. Golden dust. And there were some...property damage but no loss of life or injury to any persons present."

"No one got hurt..." Rose breathed with relief. She could barely believe it. She hadn't hurt anyone.

"Why do you even think it had anything to do with Rose?" the Doctor asked.

"Annabelle Conn has implied she might be more dangerous that we'd expected," the Architect insisted. "If she is a threat we need to know. We need to have contingencies in place."

"You need to do nothing," the Doctor interrupted her. "I've told you, she is my responsibility."

"And if you are gone Doctor?" the Architect pointed out and Rose felt a shiver run down her spine remembering Fox's words about the Doctor's song ending. "What then? Who shall be held responsible then?"

"You needn't worry about it," the Doctor said. "Trust me."

"Trust you? You threaten to destroy us and you want us to trust you? Can anyone?" The Architect's eerie red eyes fixed hard on the Doctor. "I think the only thing anyone can trust, is that you'll do anything where she's concerned." The Architect nodded towards Rose. "No matter the consequences, no matter the casualties, no matter the destruction that might follow. You'd burn down the world for her. Perhaps it is time you ask yourself if that is a good thing or a very, very bad one."

The Doctor watched the Architect for a moment and just when he was about to open his mouth Rose clasped his arm, her eyes on the architect.

"I'll let you asses me," she told her.

"Rose, no," the Doctor interrupted but Rose ignored him.

"If I have your word that despite of what you find you'll let us leave. Make your contingencies. Because maybe we'll need them one day. But that day is not today. Agreed?"

"This seems to be day for making deals," the Architect observed. "We have an agreement."

The Doctor opened his mouth, clearly to argue but Rose sent a thought across the bond to stop him before he could get started.

 _Shut up_ , she told him. _There was a plan, remember? We're sticking to it. You find whatever they used to trap us and destroy it while I keep 'em busy. That clear, Doctor?_ It took a while before she heard him reply.

 _Yes sir,_ the Doctor told her, smiling as he looked at his shoes.

"Lead the way," Rose said to the Architect who was watching them. She nodded and led them out of the room.

The Judoon were waiting outside as they emerged. They immediately stepped into formation around them as the Architect led them back down the hall. They walked mostly in silence through the white hallways. They saw few people and the ones they did see looked much like the Architect. Pale skin, red eyes and black shapeless dresses.

"This is a dangerous game you're playing," the Doctor remarked next to Rose. "I don't really like it."

"Tough," Rose told him as they turned down another hallway.

The Architect stopped at a set of doors that slid opened silently. "What was that thing with Conn anyway?" Rose asked the Doctor in a hushed tone as they walked up to the Architect.

"Miss Tyler," she said, indicating Rose should proceed inside the room. "If you please."

"I'll tell you later," the Doctor told Rose.

Rose took a deep breath as she walked through the doors, the Architect and two Judoon following her in. She glanced behind her at the Doctor who'd stayed behind. The Architect followed her gaze.

"Doctor?" the Architect asked.

"Thought I have a look around," the Doctor said, showing his hands into his trouser-pockets. "You know, just a gander. I won't touch nothing, I swear." The Architect's eyes narrowed suspiciously on him.

"There is not an inch of this place that is not monitored, Doctor," the Architect reminded him. "If you do anything..."

"Yes, yes I know," the Doctor interrupted her "You have a black box with my name on it. Got it." The Doctor's eyes caught Rose's. "See you soon," he told her.

 _Be careful_ , Rose told him across the bond, making sure she put a bit of steel into the thought. He gave her a nod as the doors slid closed between them.

The two Judoon placed themselves at either side of the door. Rose turned to look around. Everywhere seemed to be medical equipment. In the middle of the room was a table, a big circular piece of machinery encircling it. Rose was thinking it must be some form of scanner. Much like an MRA perhaps. There was other equipment around as well. Chairs with all manner of wires worked into them. Shelves filled with what Rose assumed was medical tools. Bright lights shone from overhead washing all colour from the room.

There were two other people with them who had stopped what they'd been doing as they all entered. It was hard to really tell if they were men or women. Both had the same pale skin as the Architect, white hair and red eyes. Their dress was light green but just as shapeless as the Architect's.

"We are doing a regular assessment on Miss Tyler," the Architect told the two.

"Hey," Rose said with a bit of a wave. "I'm Rose."

"Lian," one of them replied.

"Red," the other said.

"Nice to meet you," Rose said and gave them a tremulous smile. It was difficult to pretend this wasn't all scaring her a little.

"Please," Red said, indicating the exam-table in the middle of the room. Rose walked over to it.

"Will it hurt?" she asked, thinking of when Annabelle Conn had done her examination on the Dalek crucible. That had hurt.

"Not at all," Lian assured, her voice softer than Red's. Rose nodded and jumped up to sit on the table. Lian came over to her. She attached a small device at Rose's temple.

"What's that then?" Rose asked.

"It bounces the signal off the machine," Lian explained, indicating the ring around the table. "Gives us a clearer reading. It also sends a small electric charge.." Rose tensed up. "Oh, don't worry," Lian hastened to assure. "It's so small you won't be able to feel it. But your cells will and the machine will be able to read their response time." Lian gave Rose a small reassuring smile. "Just lie down. I promise it will be painless." Lian stepped back and Rose reluctantly lay down on the exam-table.

Red was at the end of it, at Rose's feet, pressing buttons. The machine hummed to life, the sound not totally unpleasant. Just sort of soft and quiet. The ring lit up with a green light and began to spin. Rose couldn't help but tense up. The ring moved slowly down the length of her and back again. But there was no pain and Rose forced herself to relax.

The machine peeped and shirped as the ring continued to move slowly back and forth over Rose. It took hours. Lian and Red walked around Rose taking readings, interpreting data. Talking amongst themselves, trying to draw conclusions.

Lian joined Red at the end of the exam-table looking at the data that was coming in.

"Madam Architect," Red called her over. The Architect joined them, looking at the information on the screen.

"What?" Rose asked. The Architect looked up, her eyes meeting Rose's as Rose lifted her head. "You are a five," the Architect said. "Your threat level is a five on a one to four scale."

"What? Then how can I be a five?" Rose asked perplexed. The rings finally stopped moving, the machine powering down. Rose struggled up. Her body was stiff from having been lying down on the hard exam-table for such a long time.

"You're a five..," the Architect explained. "Because you can't be properly assessed." Rose swung her legs over the edge of the table.

"What?"

"Most of your readings are incalculable," the Architect told her. "Much as Annabelle Conn suggested they would be."

"Most of them?" Rose remarked.

"We can tell your basic gene-code is human but it is intricately entwined with that of a Time Lord. Annabelle Conn claims she knows how the Doctor accomplished this. But no matter how he did it what made it work seems to be the existence of huon-particles in your blood."

"Huon, what now?" Rose asked in confusion.

"They don't exist anymore," the Architect explained. "Except in the heart of a TARDIS. The only reason we know this is because Miss Conn told us. It is that information that allowed us to locate and trap that machine of his." Rose jumped down from the table. "I have a feeling she knew we would find this," the Architect said thoughtfully.

"Can I see?" Rose asked.

All three of them stepped back and Rose walked over to them. She stared at the screen on the machine. Lian joined her, pointing to it.

"These are your cells," Lian explained pointing to a picture of several round spheres. She tapped the screen and it zoomed in. "This here is the huon-element," she said pointing at strings marked in gold. "It is infinitesimal. But it is what allowed the Time Lord DNA to bind with your Human DNA." She tapped the screen again. The picture changed showing a DNA strain. "This is average human DNA," Lian explained. It looked just like Rose had learned in school. That twisted ladder. Lian tapped the screen again. "And this is your DNA- strain." The picture split in two and showed the two DNA-strains next to each other.

There were links and blocks in Rose's strain that shouldn't be there. There wasn't much of it that still resembled the human one which made Rose feel a little queasy. The Doctor kept insisting that she was human. That no matter what he'd done or what had happened she was a the core still human. Still her. Still Rose Tyler. But looking at the picture on that screen it was hard to keep believing it. And it couldn't help but remind Rose of the time her mother had stared at her as though she didn't know her anymore. And Jackie had warned her that if Rose stayed with the Doctor long enough she would become someone else. Someone not her.

Rose tried to shake the feeling. She could choose to be her. In every choice she made everyday. No one stayed the same forever. That would be horrible. All she could do was stay true to who she was. That girl who found joy and wonder in discovering new things. Who couldn't help but laugh with excitement when there was trouble brewing. Who saw the good in people. Who believed in the good in people.

"Is it... stable?" Rose asked hesitantly as she stared at the screen.

"Right now, yes. Right now all the elements work in perfect harmony."

"I feel a, but," Rose said.

"But..." Lian trailed off.

"But," Red took over. "Huon particles are by definition unstable."

"We can't tell what is actually keeping it stable now," Lian said. "Or what might happen if the balance was lost. To truly measure this we need technology that doesn't exist anymore."

"It died with the Time Lords," the Architect pointed out from behind them.

"But you said those huon-things, that they were there before the Time Lord bits. How? Do you know where it came from?" Both Lian and Red shook their heads.

"We have no idea."

Rose had an idea, or she could guess at least. And her best guess was Bad Wolf. That day she couldn't quite remember. When the Doctor had sent her away from the Gaming station. And to get back to him she had looked into the heart of the TARDIS. She'd absorbed the energy of the Time-vortex. And she had used it to destroy the Dalek fleet. Only it had been killing her and so the Doctor had pulled it out to save her life. But some of these huon- particles must have been left behind. And if they were the reason the Time Lord DNA could bind with her human DNA than that meant that if Rose hadn't done what she did then being with the Doctor would have killed her just as he'd always feared. Right?

Again Rose had to struggle to not feel like a pawn in fate's great game. Davros had claimed he'd manipulated events in order to push Rose into doing what she'd done. That he'd sent the emperor back for that purpose. Had he known these huon- particles were needed to complete the process? To turn her into the weapon he'd needed? And would these particles ultimately complicate potentially undoing the bond? Rose moaned and clutched her head. This was too much. She needed the Doctor to help her understand this.

"Miss Tyler." By the sound of the Architect's voice that was not the first time she'd said Rose's name. Rose finally looked up. "What is it?" the Architect asked. Rose sighed and turned around to face her.

"Do you believe in fate?" Rose asked her. The Architect looked taken aback for a moment.

"I believe..," she began. "I believe that we all make our choices and they are our own. But we are all puzzle-pieces. No matter if we choose to go right or left we will fit into that puzzle somewhere."

"Do you think someone or some thing is laying this puzzle?" Rose asked. The Architect shook her head.

"No," she said. "There are great many forces in the universe. It is infinitely wonderful because it is unpredictable." Rose stared in surprise at the Architect.

"I thought you didn't like things being unpredictable."

"I don't," the Architect agreed. "I spend my life trying to bring and keep order to this mad world because I believe we need it. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the beauty of not knowing,"

She tilted her head a little to the side a she regarded Rose. "Like, you, I would say," she said. "I don't think we can ever really hope to find anyway to measure, calculate or truly evaluate you or the impact you might have on the universe around you. You are in essence an unknown Miss Tyler and one is forced to admit that there is an undeniable beauty in that."

The Architect offered Rose a hint of a smile. Then suddenly the entire room plunged into darkness. A gasp came from, what must be Lian and Red. Leather creaked as both Judoon undoubtedly raised their weapons. A second later emergency lighting came on, casting the room in an ominous red glow and an alarm rang out. Rose had a feeling it was blaring out across the whole base and then she heard the Doctor's voice in her head.

 _Run, Rose. Now_!


	40. Chapter 40 - Desperate times

Chapter 40 - Desperate times

Rose glanced back at the Architect mouthing a silent 'sorry' before bolting. She ducked the two Judoon by inches, the door opening automatically as she neared it. Rose dashed through, skidding out into the hall and nearly slamming into the opposite wall. Thankfully the hall was empty. No more Judoon waiting outside. Rose ran back the way they'd come. She was fairly confident she knew the route back to the TARDIS. All she had to do was get there.

Rose rushed through the hallway as blasts from the Judoon weapons sang by inches away from her.

"Hold your fire!" Rose heard the Architect scream from behind her. "Catch them alive!" Rose turned down another hallway skidding to stop as she nearly ran straight into a Judoon platoon. Rose managed to stop and turn just as the Judoon noticed her, raising their weapons.

"Hold!" they shouted at her. But she didn't heed them. She just ran, the Judoon quickly giving chase.

Rose could both hear and feel the rhythmic pounding of the Judoons feet striking the floor behind her. Even when they ran they ran as a unit, moving as one. For all their mercenary ways they were well trained.

Rose ran down more hallways. quickly loosing her way. She was faster than the Judoon but they were relentless. And they were everywhere. Every corner she turned they could be waiting for her. She could be running straight into an ambush for all she knew.

 _Doctor_ , she called out across the bond. _Doctor!_

 _Rose_.

Rose stopped dead as Judoon spilled out in front of her, weapons raised. She twirled around but the ones behind her were catching up. There was nowhere left to run.

"Hold," the Judoon demanded.

 _I'm trapped_ , Rose told the Doctor, sending the thought effortlessly from her mind to his. If neither of them thought about it, if they just allowed it to happen it could be so very easy.

"Stand down," the Judoon told Rose. Rose raised her hands in surrender. She didn't much want to risk making a sudden move and having one of the Judoon shoot her by accident.

 _Wait there_ , she heard the Doctor's voice in her head. _We're coming_.

"We have Rose Tyler," one of the Judoon told someone, probably the Architect, over a comm system.

"If we have her, we have the Doctor," Rose heard the Architect's voice behind her. Rose turned. The Architect was walking up to them, one Judoon on either side of her.

Then Rose heard the most wonderful sound in all the universe. The familiar rise and fall of the TARDIS engines.

"Make your contingencies," Rose reminded the Architect hastily. "You might need them sooner than you think."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Something might happen," Rose told her in a rush. "I might loose him... or he'll loose me. I don't know but I'm not sure what that would do to me." The sound of the engines grew louder. "I'm sorry," Rose told her again.

"Do you even have any idea what he's done!" the Architect barked at her as the TARDIS began to materialise around Rose. "Stop her!" the Architect shouted at the Judoon. Several of them lunged forward. But it was too late.

Rose gave the Judoon a smile.

"Sorry, boys," she said. "Gotta dash." She gave them a small finger-wave as the TARDIS materialised around her.

She lowered her hands and spun around to see the Doctor at the console.

"Welcome back," he said and gave her a wide grin. He was in his pinstriped suit so he'd managed to get the jacket on at some point. The coat he'd tossed over one of the coral pillars. He looked wonderfully handsome and absolutely brilliant. He pulled the lever, sending the TARDIS quickly into the vortex. Rose ran up the ramp and threw herself into his arms.

He caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her feet of the ground. "What is this?" the Doctor chuckled. "I saw you a few hours ago."

"Feels longer," Rose mumbled against his shoulder. His hold on her tightened. "I take it you disabled whatever they used to catch the TARDIS."

"Destroyed it," the Doctor confirmed. "I doubt they can rebuild it.

"I'm sure Annabelle Conn will help them," Rose muttered.

"Not exactly," the Doctor said hesitantly.

"What?" Rose asked.

The Doctor placed her back on the floor. "Now, don't be angry," the Doctor said. "I didn't have a choice." Rose pulled back from him.

"Why would I be angry?" Rose asked suspiciously.

"Maybe..." came a voice from the shadows. "...because he just broke me out of prison." Rose twirled around to see a nightmare walking out of the darkness. Annabelle, bloody Conn.

Rose stepped back from the Doctor. "What?" she breathed. "Why?" The Doctor was holding up his hands in an effort to calm her. He wouldn't do that if he didn't think she'd be upset. If he didn't know this was wrong. So very, very wrong. Suddenly the Architect's accusation made sense.

"She was going to tell them everything," the Doctor explained while Rose kept backing away.

"Every juicy little detail," Annabelle confirmed.

"The tussle in her cell?" Rose asked, staring at the Doctor, somehow feeling betrayed.

"They monitor everything," the Doctor said.

"Time Lords are telepathic," Annabelle explained like Rose didn't know this already. "He was the only one I could ask for help. Because he could read my mind, the one thing that pitiful Shadow Proclamation can not monitor."

"That's what she whispered to me," the Doctor was saying, still with his hands raised towards Rose. "She asked me to read her thoughts."

"But I had to get close enough," Annabelle said. "Without that Architect woman suspecting anything."

Rose was shaking her head. No. This was madness. Nothing Annabelle Conn could tell the Shadow Proclamation could possibly warrant helping her in any way.

"She deserved that cell," Rose told the Doctor. "And worse!"

"Now, let's not be so quick to judge, Agent Tyler," Annabelle chided. "I don't have the power to destroy millions of worlds and all it takes to do it is one little tantrum."

"Exactly," Rose growled. "So maybe you shouldn't make me angry then, yeah?"

"Not so high and mighty anymore are we?" Annabelle dared.

"There's a difference in being able to do something and actually doing it," Rose growled, glaring at Annabelle.

"Perhaps you best just get out of here," the Doctor suggested to Annabelle.

"I think I...-" Annabelle began.

"Get out!" the Doctor ordered, his tone of voice leaving no room for argument. Annabelle immediately fell silent. She turned on her heal and stalked out of the console room.

Rose's glare turned to the Doctor.

"How could you?!" she spat. "Her! How could you save her?!"

"Just let me explain..." the Doctor began.

"She's a monster!" Rose interrupted him. "She should be locked up for the rest of her life!"

"I agree," the Doctor assured.

"Breaking her out of prison is not agreeing, Doctor!" Rose pointed out.

"This wasn't some rash decision!" he told her.

"You broke her out of a high security prison in just a few hours! It can't have been all that well thought out!"

"Well actually..." the Doctor began.

"I don't want to hear how you did it!" Rose immediately interrupted, her eyes on the ceiling for a moment, praying for the strength not to throttle him. The Doctor shut his mouth. "No matter how clever you think you were you are still an idiot for doing it in the first place!" she told him.

"Do you mind giving me five minutes to explain?"

"Yes, I mind," Rose told him simply. "Right now yelling at you is very satisfying!"

"Arrg!" the Doctor growled in obvious frustration. "You bloody hormone-riddled, infuriating human!"

"Arrogant, smart-ass Time Lord!" Rose shouted back at him.

"For gods sake Rose! I wasn't trying to save her! I was trying to save you! Save us!"

"No secret she might tell the Architect is worth letting her loose over, Doctor!" Rose insisted. "Perhaps it's even better if they know. The Architect...-"

"The Architect..." the Doctor interrupted. "...is meddling in things she has no business meddling in."

"She's just trying to do her job."

"No, she's trying to do my job," the Doctor refuted. "She has no authority over me or you."

"I'm human," Rose pointed out.

"Irrelevant," the Doctor said.

"Thank's for that."

"You know what I mean." Rose folded her arms across her chest, glaring at him. The Doctor sighed. "I did this," he said. "Whatever happens is my responsibility. The Architect should know better than to interfere."

"Perhaps she's scared," Rose suggested. "It's a bloody miracle no one got hurt at New Years." Rose saw a flicker of fear pass by the Doctor's eyes.

"You nearly died at New Years," he said.

"All the more reason...-" Rose began but quickly got interrupted again.

"All the more reason to let me handle it."

"This is your idea of handling it?" Rose asked. "Breaking Annabelle Conn out of prison?"

"She knows things, Rose," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, well she probably lied."

"She didn't lie."

The certainty in his voice made Rose narrow her eyes on him.

"Fine," she said. "I'll bite. What is that you think she knows that is so important?"

"Davros had places. Secret locations where he stored knowledge he though would some day be of use."

"What kind of knowledge?"

"Knowledge about the Time Lords. Things even we might have wanted to forget."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"We were at war, Rose. Each side tried to learn as much of the other as possible. The more you know your enemy the more effectively can you destroy him. Much like with weeds if you recall...-"

"Don't get cute with me," Rose cut him off warningly. The Doctor obediently fell silent. "So.." Rose said. "...you were worried that what? She'd tell them about these places..."

"No, Rose don't you see?" the Doctor asked. "There could be answers there."

"Answers."

"About the bond. Without access to the Matrix on Gallifrey this might be our best chance."

The Doctor reached out and clasped Rose's hand. She could feel all his hope in this one mad chance of his. "We know what to look for now," he said.

"Which is what?" Rose asked.

"Omega. He had something to do with it all those years ago. I know it." Rose pulled her hand out of his, pushing her hair away from her face.

"What about Annabelle?" Rose asked. "I thought the Shadow Proclamation was keeping her alive."

"They were. She must have some other plan. I couldn't see what. But that brace she has on her back should be able to keep her alive for a year or two I think. "

"Then we can't let her loose," Rose said again. "No matter if she helps us."

"How about we worry about the bond first then about Annabelle Conn," the Doctor suggested.

"I don't..," Rose began but trailed off. "This is one very bad plan, Doctor."

"I'm not even sure it's a plan," the Doctor agreed. "More of an idea perhaps..."

"A suicidal idea," Rose felt compelled to point out. "We can't trust her."

"I'm not asking you to trust her," the Doctor said. "I'm asking you to trust me. Right now this is our best chance. It's about our only chance."

The Doctor recaptured her hand. "Come on take a leap of faith," he said softly, smiling at her. Rose felt herself softening. He could be quite impossible to resist when he put his mind to it.

"So what's the extent of this horrible idea of yours then?" Rose asked, slowly finding herself conceding.

"I'll have a talk with Annabelle," he said. "I'll get the coordinates. We'll find Davros's secret lair, or dungeon or cave or whatever other nefarious form of storage he used..." With every word he was tugging her a little closer. "We'll find a way. I promised you I would fix this. And I will. I wont let anything take you away from me," he said. "Not the Shadow Proclamation, not fate or circumstance and certainly not what I did."

Rose looked at him, reaching up her hand and running it across his cheek. As she did she felt every nerve in her palm responding to the feel of his skin. The Doctor covered her hand with his own, turning his head and kissing her palm.

"I won't loose you," he said again, his eyes intent on hers. "I won't."

"Well, I'm not planning on letting you get off to anywhere either," Rose said, her words drawing a small smile from the Doctor. "We'll just have to stick together. You and me, Doctor. That's all." He twined his fingers with hers, removing her hand from his cheek and urging her a little closer.

"Forever," he agreed, dropping the 'r' at the end.

She smiled up at him. They were close enough now that his chest brushed against hers as he breathed. They let themselves enjoy the feeling. Just that pulse from the point where they touched. Beating in tandem with their hearts. They should be careful. The bond was so quick to fire off now. Overwhelming them both easily if they let it.

Rose's eyes drifted shut, giving herself unwisely over to the sensation. She told herself she could, just for a moment. She shouldn't. She should be stepping back. So should he. But neither of them were. Then heated images began to spill out behind Rose's eyes. Skin against skin. Breaths shared, stolen and given. Moments lost in time and not enough ones shared. Possible ones that never were, broken ones that couldn't be remembered. Rose could feel them so strongly she wasn't sure whether it came from her mind or his.

Then the Doctor was suddenly stepping back, clearing his throat, the connection breaking. His fingers slipped out of Rose's. First then did she realise that was really all they'd been doing. Standing close and holding hands. Everything else had played out inside their minds. The Doctor rubbed at his neck.

"Well," he said, his voice a tad unsteady.

"Yeah," Rose mumbled, feeling heat creeping into her cheeks. "I'll just..." She pointed awkwardly towards the stairs leading out of the console room.

The Doctor nodded, reluctantly watching her go. He'd slipped up. Those few moments they'd shared when they'd been really close. Close enough that he'd not been sure where he stopped and she began. She remembered so little of them. But he remembered them perfectly. Every passionate, perfect, painful second. Whenever he so much as held her hand now it was becoming harder and harder not to think about them. Especially at the thought of never experiencing anything like it again. If he didn't find a way to undo the bond that might be their reality. That or something worse. No chance to make new memories. Memories that wouldn't turn to dust.

The Doctor returned to the console, trying fruitlessly to shake Rose's lingering presence. He knew what he hoped he was doing by holding back. Always holding back. It wasn't just fear that she might burn. He hoped he was saving her. Saving her from what might come. His song was ending. Two times he'd heard that now. Every song must end. Well, he wasn't ready for this one to.

He shook out his hands and cleared his throat before he began pressing buttons on the keyboard. Doing calibrations that weren't really necessary in an effort to distract himself from thoughts that he weren't ready to contemplate. It wasn't very effectively distracting him though.

"Is it safe to come out?" The Doctor's head shot up at the sound of Annabelle Conn's voice. He saw her peaking out into the console room. He immediately turned his attention back to the controls in front of him.

"Not the word I would use," he said. Annabelle stepped into the room all the same. She looked around in mild interest.

"When Davros spoke of the Time Lords and their time-machines I never thought it quite possible," she said.

"Always happy to break the limits of possibility," the Doctor muttered uninterestedly.

"How does it work?" Annabelle asked, walking up to the console. She reached out to touch the time rotor.

"Beyond your comprehension," the Doctor said, watching as Annabelle touched the rotor and immediately got hit with an electric spark. She cried out and withdrew her hand as the Doctor smiled.

"Does it always do that?" Annabelle asked, nursing her hand to her chest. The Doctor walked by Annabelle.

"She doesn't like you," he told her as he passed.

"Like me? It's a ship." The Doctor didn't reply to this as he continued around the console.

"So, do you have a set of coordinates or should we just keep drifting through space hoping for the best?" the Doctor asked.

"You're very eager aren't you?" Annabelle mused. She reached up her hand to fix her hair but swiftly noticed it wasn't there anymore and let her hand fall. "What exactly is it that you hope to find there?"

"Answers," the Doctor replied vaguely.

"Answers? To what?"

"Questions."

"What questions?"

"Questions that do not concern you."

"It's about what you did to Rose isn't it?" Annabelle asked with a smile. The Doctor paused for a moment but didn't answer. "It's not that difficult to figure out," Annabelle told him.

The Doctor looked up at her, hardness in his dark eyes. "The coordinates," he insisted. Annabelle reached inside a pocket on her shapeless white dress and withdrew a piece of paper.

"Enjoy," she said, handing it over. The Doctor snatched the paper out of her hands. He glanced quickly at it, then proceeded to enter the numbers into the nav-computer. "I assume we are going right now then," Annabelle said. "No rest for the wicked."

"You assume wrong," the Doctor said, finishing with entering the coordinates and saving them to the computer. "Now," he said. "If the TARDIS is feeling magnanimous she'll let you find the wardrobe and maybe even somewhere for you to sleep. But if you touch anything..." The Doctor looked up, his eyes fixing on Annabelle. "...that you're not supposed to or if you try to take something she will not be kind." The Doctor walked over. "And neither will I," he told her, his tone of voice uncompromising, making sure Annabelle understood the seriousness of her situation. And judging by her suddenly elevated pulse she did.

He walked by her, heading out, thinking there were far better things to do than chat with Annabelle Conn more than necessary.

"Are you two being...intimate?" The Doctor froze at those words. He twirled slowly back around on the steps.

"Excuse me?" he asked, not quite sure he'd heard her right but letting anger colour his voice incase he had.

"It's a simple enough question," Annabelle said with a hint of a smile and not a nice on either. "I'm sure you know what I mean. But I can be blunt if you wish." The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her. What the hell was she playing at? "It's just that by the looks of it..." she said, watching him. "...it seemed as though there were a lot of pent up desire there." Her smile widened.

"You were watching us?" the Doctor asked. The look on Annabelle's face was all the answer he needed. "What gives you the right?" the Doctor demanded, walking back up the steps.

"Just, curiosity," she said, backing away.

"Aha." The Doctor nodded in understanding. "Still conducting your experiments I see. Old habits die hard."

"Even if Agent Tyler isn't the key to saving my life you must admit that the pair of you is an interesting case study." Annabelle explained. Even though she was smiling her hand fluttered unsteadily near her throat as she spoke. "If one could understand you I imagine a great many mysteries of the universe might be resolved."

"I would advice against any such attempts," the Doctor warned and again he turned to leave.

"You didn't answer my question," Annabelle pointed out. He stopped, wondering if Annabelle Conn was being brave or just stupid. "You're not though, are you?" she said. The Doctor clasped the metal railing next to him tightly. "But you want to," she guessed. "Badly."

He could hear her moving behind him. "But by the looks of it you're being careful," she was saying. "She's triggered by emotion. That's what Davros used. Killed that boy just to upset her enough so she would burn." The Doctor was clasping the railing so hard by this point that he absentmindedly wondered why the metal wasn't bending. He should walk away. He really should because if he stayed and listened to Annabelle talking for one more second it would end badly for one of them.

Several appealing scenarios came to mind. He knew plenty of lava planets he could leave her on, or perhaps a desert one. There was one where the air was toxic, charring away at your vocal cords until you could no longer speak. He could leave her there or just simply drop her out the door into empty space.

"You think she'll burn if things get... intense between you?" Annabelle wondered.

"I'd really advice you to stop talking now," the Doctor warned, his voice dark.

"Why?" Annabelle asked. "Because I'm telling you the truth?"

"You're taunting me with it," the Doctor pointed out. "Not a good idea."

"Perhaps I'm trying to help," Annabelle said from right behind him.

"How is telling me things I already know, helping?" the Doctor ground out between his teeth.

"How does it feel?" Annabelle asked, sounding far too curious. She was very close now and the Doctor had to force himself to stay still and not lash out at her if only to stop her talking. "When you run your fingers over that soft skin of hers?"Annabelle mused. "When you hold her body against yours? Close enough to feel her heart beating... How does that make you feel, Doctor? Hm?"

"Shut up," the Doctor growled.

"Tell me," Annabelle urged. "Does she set your blood in fire?" The Doctor turned on her.

"Be quiet," he told her, fury rising in his gut, feeling as though he'd do anything just to get her to shut up.

"How about her? Does she moan when you kiss her? Do you drink her sighs as you...-"

The Doctor moved faster than he knew he could. He wasn't a violent man. Not even during the war. And even if he stopped himself before he did anything he still felt ashamed. This wasn't who he was. No matter the provocation. He stumbled back, forced to clasp the railing again to stop himself from tumbling down the steps.

"What was that possibly good for?" he asked Annabelle as she watched him with her curious eyes.

"I wanted to know if you were lying or just stupid," she said. "Didn't quite expect you to get... physical," she said.

"Push anyone enough and eventually they break," the Doctor told her. "You should know that by now." Annabelle looked at him and he could see that she remembered the last time she'd help drive him towards his breaking point.

"I am trying to help you," she said again.

"You only help yourself," the Doctor told her, giving her one last glare before he turned and left.

"So, stupid then?" Annabelle called out after him. He choose not to reply. He choose to walk away. Whatever she'd been trying to tell him or hurt him with he could do without it.

The Doctor left Annabelle in the console room, knowing the TARDIS wouldn't let her try anything, even if she was stupid enough to do so. Which he seriously doubted. He debated whether to head to his study or his room. But neither seemed very appealing. He knew were he wanted to go. Where he always wanted to be. With Rose. Especially now after that pointless conversation with Annabelle Conn that somewhere in the back of his mind he feared hadn't been pointless at all. She'd gotten under his skin. He didn't like people that could get under his skin. Certainly not people like her. That were only in it for their own ends. Selfish cowards.

Before he knew it he was heading towards Rose's room. But before he got there he realised she wasn't there. He could feel it. So he let the bond guide him until he found his way to the library. He navigated through the stacks of books soon locating the spot they'd turned into their research-central. There she lay sprawled amongst the books. She was fast asleep, one hand tucked adorably under her cheek and her other arm thrown casually aside. She was half lying on books. He couldn't imagine the position could be comfortable. But by the look of her she could might as well be lying on feather pillows. He smiled a little as he watched her. He was sure she could fall asleep anywhere. He wondered if that was a human trait or one specific for this human.

The Doctor leaned down, sliding his arms behind her back and beneath her knees, picking her up from the floor. Well, he for one wasn't going to let her lie there and be all soar when she woke up. Rose stirred a little as he lifted her but she did not wake. She only placed her head more comfortably against his chest. The Doctor felt his hearts contract inside his chest as he looked down on her sleeping face. Her eyelids were smooth, her mouth relaxed, no frowns creased her forehead. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful. But it was nice seeing her like this. No troubles. No worries.

His arms tightened around her as he turned, making his way out of the library. He carried her through the halls of the TARDIS. He felt like he could easily carry her forever. She wasn't featherlight. But he liked that. It made her seem real. He'd spent years thinking she was far beyond his reach. Too precious and ultimately too ephemeral. Not for the likes of him.

Then there had been that glimmer of hope. That moment of thinking maybe she was. Maybe she hadn't been put in his path to torture him with what he could never have. Maybe he'd found her because they were meant to be together and the universe would bend just for them. Of course the universe bent for no one. At least not on its own.

The Doctor made his way to Rose's room, pushing the door opened with his shoulder. He walked over to her bed, lying her gently down. He let his hold on her linger. He didn't want to let her go at all. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay. Right there.

Unwittingly he heard Annabelle's words in his mind. 'But you want to... badly.' He shook his head to rid himself of them. She'd gotten under his skin because she had been telling the truth. Of course he wanted to. He wanted Rose Tyler so badly he sometimes thought it might actually be killing him. He wanted her more than any one thing in the whole of creation. So of course he couldn't have her. Bad things happened when he got what he wanted. He'd wanted to stop the war and so his entire race had died. He'd wanted to save Rose and so he'd turned her into a weapon and nearly killed her. He wanted her now and allowing himself to have that would most likely have ramifications that would break his very existence.

 _Rose_ , he sent the desperate thought before he had a chance to stop himself. Worried he'd wake her, he withdrew. But she didn't wake, her lips only spread in a dreamy smile. Reaching over, he managed by sheer force of will to avoid touching her, and retrieved a blanket off the bed. He put it over her and forced himself to turn away. He walked over to one of the bookcases by the wall and picked out a book without paying much attention as to what it was. He made his way to the other side of the bed, sitting down with his back against the headboard. He stretched out his legs before him, opening the book and hoping it was interesting enough to distract him from the fact that Rose was all of three feet away from him. Not that he would have left anyway. Even if he couldn't be as close to her as he might want to, being in the same room as her was still better than being anywhere else.

The Doctor heard her stir and before he knew it she'd made those three feet disappear. She cuddled down next to him, her head on his chest and one leg thrown over his. The Doctor became absolutely still.

"Rose?" he whispered, unsure if she was awake or not.

"Mmmhm," she mumbled, drowsily.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"'S ok," she said, a bit incoherently. "What's wrong?" She shifted a little to get more comfortable.

"Wrong?" he asked. "Nothing's wrong."

"You're worried," Rose pointed out and the Doctor forced himself to relax, wrapping one arm around her shoulders.

"I'm not worried," he denied.

"Frustrated then, or something," she continued to mumble. He could tell she was only half awake. "Difficult to tell what you're feeling sometimes," Rose said, her voice muffled by his shirt. "Get's all jumbly."

"That's not an actual word you know," the Doctor said.

"Says the man who says things like wibbly- wobbly," Rose muttered. He couldn't help but smile at that. "So are you going to tell me what's bothering you then?"

"It's nothing, really," he assured, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. "Don't worry about it."

Rose's hand ran along the expanse of his stomach, deftly popping the buttons on his suit- jacket. He had no idea how she could do it when she wasn't even properly awake. Her hand stole beneath it to wrap around his waist. "I always worry about you," she told him. The Doctor tensed under her touch. He couldn't help it. It was Annabelle and her stupid words. Reminding him off the things he couldn't have but wanted so desperately. He took a deep breath, forcing his muscles to ease.

"Go back to sleep," he told Rose.

"Read to me," she said. The Doctor suddenly remembered the book he'd taken from the bookcase. He held it up, checking the cover.

"It's..ah.. Transdemensional physics," he said apologetically, thinking he must have left the book in her room at some point.

"I don't care," Rose said, snuggling closer. He glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed. She looked perfectly untroubled. Alright, he thought. Transdemensional physics it is. It wasn't like he could really deny her anything anyway. The Doctor got his spectacles from his inside pocket. He put them on in one fluid motion and opened the book. He cleared his throat.

"Dimension 1 represents a vector of velocity and a vector of time," he began and Rose sighed contentedly.

"Very sexy," she mumbled, making the Doctor stumble over the next word. "Um..." he struggled to get back his rhythm for a second. "...working together in complementary balance or polarity," he continued. He could feel her starting to drift off as he spoke. "As demonstrated in relative physics, velocity is inversely proportional to time..."

The Doctor continued reading until he felt Rose fall back asleep, letting his voice drift softly into silence. He put the book on her bedside table. He sat back with his arms around her, brushing her hair off her forehead and giving it a swift kiss. The bond sparked off, making his lips tingle at the contact. He pulled back before he risked waking her up again.

"Sweet dreams," he whispered. "My wonderful Rose Tyler. I'll guard against the bad ones..," he said. "...promise. And tomorrow we go and fix what I broke."


	41. Chapter 41 - The road to hell

Chapter 41 - The road to hell

Rose awoke gradually. That wonderful kind of gradually when you'd gotten just enough sleep. She blinked her eyes opened. And not a single nightmare, that she could remember. She didn't think she'd slept that well in a long time. She stretched. As she did she instantly got the feeling that something was missing. She looked around the room and at the empty bed next to her.

"You know..." came the Doctor's voice as he emerged from her bathroom. Rose sat up straight and stared at him in surprise. "This is not what I'd call an optimal design for a hair- comb," he said holding a mascara comb up in front of his face. "Far too small."

He was in his blue suit pants, pale blue shirt not buttoned all the way up and his tie around his neck but not yet tied, his hair looked wet as though he'd just come out of the shower and he was barefoot.

"Doctor...?" Rose asked, drawing the word out suspiciously. Her heart was beginning to beat rather rapidly at the gorgeous, but rather shocking sight of him.

"Hm?" he said, tearing his gaze away from the mascara brush to look at her. As he did a wide grin spread on his face. "Ah, you're beautiful in the morning," he said. Rose's hands immediately went to her hair as a blush crept over her cheeks. From what she could tell it was an outright mess. She tried briefly to get it under control but quickly abandoned the attempt.

"Doctor, what are you doing in my room?" Rose asked. She didn't think he'd ever been in her room when she woke up before. He'd spent the night quite a few times of course. Especially after she'd left her family behind and loosing Mickey. But he'd never been there when she woke up.

His face fell at her question. "I can leave if you want," he said, pointing with the mascara brush towards the door.

"No," Rose hastened to say. "It's just..." Her eyes narrowed on his wet hair. "Did you use my shower?" she asked.

"You don't mind do you?"

"Um.. no," Rose said, shaking her head, feeling like maybe she was still dreaming because this was not normal behaviour for him. He disappeared back into the bathroom. "Not to be rude or anythin'!" Rose called to him. "But what exactly are you doing in my bathroom? What's wrong with yours?" His head appeared in the doorway.

"I was reading to you and you fell asleep," he said and disappeared again. Rose looked around and saw the book lying on her bedside table.

"You read me transdemensional physics?" Rose asked him. "No wonder I fell asleep," she added to herself.

"You thought it was riveting," came the Doctor's voice from the bathroom. "I believe the exact word you used was..." He peaked his head out again. "Sexy," he said, giving her a wink. Rose had to fight to suppress a giggle. His hair was pointing every which way. He'd probably just used a towel to try and dry it. He smiled back at her, looking ridiculously pleased that he'd made her happy.

"You don't remember?" he asked her.

As Rose thought about it she vaguely recalled feeling worried and listening to his heartbeats beneath her ear until they'd gotten nice and steady again.

"You were here last night?" Rose asked.

"You fell asleep in the library first," the Doctor told her. "Couldn't just leave you there."

"You carried me back here."

"Not for the first time," he mumbled as he disappeared inside the bathroom again. "Your kind can just fall asleep anywhere it seems."

"Well, thanks then," Rose called to him.

"No problem," she heard from inside the bathroom.

Rose pushed the blanket of her and struggled out of bed. She found herself being terribly curious as to what he was doing. Her heart was still pounding madly. If she kept it up he'd undoubtedly be able to hear it. But this seemed so intimate somehow. Which was strange, she supposed. This was just him barefoot in her bathroom.

Rose made her way around the bed just as the Doctor emerged with his hair in somewhat order this time. He was fiddling with his tie. Rose walked over to him, pushing his hands out of the way.

"Planning on making a habit out of this?" she asked, her eyes on her slightly shaking hands as she fixed his tie.

"Habit out of what?" he asked.

"Popping up in my room in the morning," Rose clarified. "You usually don't you know," she reminded him. "You're usually gone by the time I wake up."

"Not my fault you huuumans," he drew the word out. "...sleep for so long. I can't just lie there and wait. And... well, I don't want to wake you," he said. Rose finished with his tie. "What?" he asked. "You thought there was some other reason?" Rose bit her lip as she turned his collar down. She gave her shoulders a shake.

"Just figured," she said. "...it was perhaps too real for you. Too intimate..." The Doctor caught her hands, stopping her motion. Instantly she felt his touch hum softly through her blood.

"Rose," he said his voice a little more serious. "I created a bond that ties us together across all of time and space," he reminded her. "I can literally feel you all the time and you think me being in your room when you wake up is too intimate for me?"

Put like that it did sound kind of senseless, Rose had to admit. This wasn't particularly something that had bothered her. It was simply something she'd accepted without giving it much thought. The Doctor captured her chin between his thumb and forefinger, urging her face up so she was forced to look at him.

Rose found herself easily caught in those dark eyes of his. She had on occasion tried to name the exact colour of his eyes. Or find some corresponding thing in the universe, be it a supernova or a grain of sand that matched them. Silly perhaps but what else was she to do when he went off on one of his tirades. When his words stopped making sense, that's when she could get lost in just watching him.

But despite her best efforts however she had never really been satisfied with any analogy she came up with. She'd seen a nebula once. Dark golden at its centre, its interstellar clouds a rich brown like burnt umber against the blackness of space. She thought that might be as close as she'd ever get because there was an element to his eyes that went far beyond comparison or description. As unfathomable and beautiful as a dying star.

Rose watched as the black began to eat up the brown as his pupils slowly dilated. The hold on her chin had turned more into a caress.

"It's not. In case that wasn't clear," he assured her, his voice a bit unsteady. The very air in the room seemed to shift. Rose's smile faltered. She could feel the bond responding. The way whatever she felt echoed inside him.

"It's only sensory receptors in the skin that responds to stimuli," the Doctor said distractedly, sounding as though he was half trying to convince himself but wasn't really paying attention to what he was actually saying. The Doctor let his knuckles trace lightly along the line of her jaw. Shivers ran along her skin. Rose closed her eyes, leaning her head into his touch.

"That so?" she murmured as every nerve inside her seemed to slowly come alive, a vibration travelling through her like striking a string on a violin. She moved her head until she felt his knuckles against her lips. She loved his hands. The shape and feel of them. The way he'd use them to hold her or just when he fiddled with something. The deftness of every motion. They were softer then one might think with all the tink and toil he put them through. The gift of regeneration was in no doubt responsible for that.

"Mmhm," he nodded slowly. "Just electrical impulses carrying information through the nervous system to the brain. That's all it is."

"Just electrical impulses," Rose echoed. She moved her head a little and her lips tingled at the pleasant friction of his fingers against them. The Doctor swallowed hard.

"Y...yes."

Rose opened her eyes, catching the Doctor's gaze. If he thought he could narrow this down to a simply science she'd gladly prove him wrong. She boldly let her tongue flick out, steeling a taste of him. He draw in a hiss of breath. The Doctor stared transfixed as her tongue retreated back inside her mouth. He tasted of her soap. He really had used her shower.

"Rose." Her name fell of his lips in a brief exhalation of breath. As though he was trying to hold it in but failed.

His fingers were trembling as he ran his thumb tantalising slow over her lip, tracing the lines as though learning them by heart. The Doctor was looking at Rose like she was something he wanted more than life itself. It fair, stole her breath away. Rose parted her lips ever so slightly to recapture that breath. But as she did, whether he used it as an excuse or just ceased the opportunity, he let his thumb run along the inner lining of her lips. Not actually inside her mouth but quite enough to make her breath hitch in her throat.

Dangerous ground, a thought warned at the very back of her mind. Very dangerous ground. But the thought was too distant to have any real impact. It was a fleeting warning, brought on a breeze and carried away before she could grasp it.

The Doctor raised his gaze to hers. Rose could feel how badly he wanted to close the distance between them. Every part of him yearned for it, his blood hummed with it, his hearts begging for it. She remembered the day before, when images of them being together had rushed through his mind. Images of his hands running over her skin. Memories. Memories she'd lost that he'd never forget.

With one single brush of his fingers he could make her ignite for him. But she realised that he felt that way for her all the time. And denying himself that wasn't just painful it was agonising. He hadn't allowed himself to want anything for just himself in a long time. And now when he had the one thing in all the universe he'd come to want more than any other he felt he couldn't have it. He couldn't have her. Ever.

"Doctor..." Rose began, unbearable sadness in her voice. But she never had the chance to finish because he couldn't bear to hear it.

His mouth came crashing against hers, his lips open and hungry. Silencing her and whatever pain her words might have brought in one stroke. Rose froze in shook for the blink of an eye before she flung her arms around his neck. Both their minds immediately twined together, the bond blazing up. So fast and frenzied it was making Rose's head spin.

The Doctor's arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her against him. Her hands were in his hair, running her fingers through the still wet strands. They stumbled back until something stopped them. The bedpost? Actually thankful for something to keep her on her feet Rose clasped the Doctor's shoulders, moulding her body to his and drawing a moan from him.

"God, Rose," he sighed against her lips. "I feel like I'm falling." Rose undid what she'd done, pulling his tie apart. She knew what he meant. Kissing him always felt a bit like falling. Rose had once thought falling was filled with fear and terror. She'd never known it could be pleasurable. That you could enjoy every moment of tumbling heedlessly through the air. Not caring what happened once you hit the ground. She ran her lips down his throat, feeling his pulse flutter as she undid the top buttons on his shirt. She nibbled carefully at his skin.

His hands tightened around her shoulders. But he wasn't pulling her closer he was holding her away.

Rose trailed kisses back up his neck and along his jaw. He moved his head and captured her mouth with his. He was still holding her away but he was kissing her as though the world might end if he ever stopped. Rose'd managed to get more buttons undone and her hands were stealing in beneath his shirt. His skin was hot to the touch. Rose struggled against his hold, needing to be closer. So much closer.

"Rose, please," he pleaded between the kisses. Rose didn't even know what he was begging her for so she just kissed him with all the abandonment of knowing inevitable destruction was the only thing that awaited.

"I can't..," he breathed as his hands slipped from her shoulders, running down her sides. Her whole body trembled as they moved up under the edge of her shirt. Feeling his hands against her bare skin was making the entire world reel out of control. "How am I supposed to fight this?" he murmured, his voice toned by pleading and pain. "I don't want to."

"Then don't," Rose sighed into his mouth.

The Doctor wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed her again. But every movement was marked by fear. Fear that their time was somehow running out. There was never enough time. Rose twined her hand around the Doctor's tie and held him there. She didn't want it to end. She never wanted it to end.

He didn't either. She could feel it in just the way he held her. It was a battle, each fighting to undo the other before falling apart themselves.

But sooner of later everything falls apart. Nothing stays together forever. That's the law of the universe. At the end we're all just dust and ashes.

The Doctor screamed out in frustration as he tore himself away from her. He grabbed the nearest thing, which was some trinket they'd picked up on some planet and threw it into the wall. The thing shattered in a thousand tiny pieces.

Rose jumped at the noise of the thing breaking. She fell back, letting the bedpost catch her. Every nerve in her body was vibrating with the memory of him. Making her feel as though he was still touching her. Her heart was beating so fast she feared it might beat its way out of her chest.

The Doctor stood with his arms, leaning against the wall, his head hanging forwards between his shoulders. His breathing was as ragged as hers.

"Damn it," she heard him growl. He slammed his hand into the wall once, turning around and leaning his back against it, his eyes on the ceiling. "Are you alright?" he ground out. "Tell me you're ok."

"I'm fine," she assured, her voice shaking. "Everything's fine." His head snapped down, his gaze fixing on her before he marched over. Rose instinctively drew back, just an inch at the furious look in his eyes. He grabbed her wrist and yanked it up, holding it in front of her face.

"Look!" he barked. "Look!" Rose's eyes shifted from him to her hand. Golden light moved beneath her skin. She clenched her hand into a fist so hard her nails dug into her palm. She tore free from his hold.

The Doctor stepped back.

"I told you," he said. "I told you I'd convince myself." His voice dripped with bitterness. "I managed that quicker than I'd thought."

"Doctor, I'm fine," Rose tried to tell him. There were no burns, nothing hurt. A couple more minutes and she'd have it back under control.

"One more minute and you might not have been," he said as though he might have read her mind. He was refusing to look at her.

"I don't believe that," Rose said. "It doesn't make sense." She clenched her hands until the light vanished and the distant pounding in her head eased up. No matter the evidence, she couldn't believe it. It didn't feel right. But the Doctor very clearly did not agree with her.

"What?" he asked, his eyes fixing on hers. "That my loving you will kill you? That part?"

Rose struggled to straighten.

"Yes, that part," she told him. He tore his gaze from hers.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said, his jaw clenched tight.

"Look at me," Rose insisted. "Doctor, look at me!" He turned his gaze reluctantly back towards her. "I'm fine," she said, holding up her hands to show both the lack of ominous golden light and the lack of burns. "See?" she said.

"One more minute," he insisted.

"You don't know that," Rose said, releasing the hold she had on the bedpost and taking a step towards him.

"New Years, Rose, " he reminded her harshly. "You don't remember it but I do!" His voice was coloured by those memories. Rose could even feel it across the bond. "I remember your skin turning to ash beneath my hands!" he told her. "I remember you screaming for hours because the pain was so bad! I remember thinking it wouldn't matter what I did to save you. It would never matter because at the end it will be me. I will be what kills you. Me!" Rose walked over to him.

"Doctor, no," she said.

"Just don't." He brushed her off. "Don't."

"Have you forgotten that you saved my life?" Rose reminded him.

"Saved your life? I gave you an extension at best," he said.

"Yes," Rose agreed. "You gave me time." She reached out towards him but he drew away. "Doctor, that is all anyone can hope for. Time. And you gave it to me. You gave me time with you. With my family, with Mickey. What more could I possibly ask for?" But the Doctor shook his head.

"No," he said, not listening to her. "I wont let you die for this. I'd rather you left me."

"Doctor, I'm not hurt. I think you've got this wrong."

She managed to cease his hand before he could move away. She held it between hers. "And I'm not leaving you either. I promised you forever. I don't care what I saw or what River said, do you hear me? I made my choice I long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you."

Rose wrapped her fingers around his hand and put it against her chest, just as he'd done with hers right above her heart.

"For as long as you want me, Doctor, I'm yours. Always. Do you understand?"

He stood very still, watching her and for a moment she thought she might have swayed him. That maybe she'd calmed his fears. But then he pulled his hand out of hers.

"It's not that simple," he said and turned away from her.

The Doctor walked towards the door, muttering about shoes and socks. Rose would have laughed if she wasn't so worried. She couldn't help but feel like he was heading down a dark path. They say the road to hell is pawed with good intentions. She feared his good intentions might bring them both to a place far worse than hell.

Rose heard the click of the door closing as he left. She ran her hands frustratingly through her hair. Her head was a scramble. She couldn't make sense of anything. She'd never even gotten the chance to ask him about those Huon particles Lian and Red had found in her blood.

Rose moaned in frustration and retreated to the bathroom. Even now she could feel him across the bond. The fear and the shame. He'd given in to temptation, risking her life in the process. The one thing he could never do. And he'd done it for one single moment of untainted joy. The bond had the power to obliterate everything else. Which is why giving in to it was so seductive. It would be an easy way to live. Never caring about the consequences, loosing themselves in each other.

Rose clutched the edge of the sink, silently praying this didn't all end as she feared it might. In blood and fire. She caught her reflection in the mirror. Her hair wasn't quite the mess she'd thought but her face looked haunted. She looked scared.

She pushed away from the sink. She didn't have the luxury to be afraid. The Doctor needed her. If he wasn't going to tumble down into darkness, he was going to need her. And he was going to need her to be strong.

Rose took a hasty shower, trying really hard the whole time to not think about the fact that the Doctor had used it just a moment ago. She left her hair to self-dry after quickly brushing through it and got dressed in a rush. An old pair of jeans and pink Diesel jacket she'd worn sometime before.

Rose left her room and hurried through the TARDIS corridors. The lights were a bit dimmed. Rose could still feel the Doctor. His frenzied thoughts and errant emotions. Both too erratic by now to make any real sense of. Clearly he was upsetting the TARDIS too. As Rose got to the stairs leading up into the console room she saw Annabelle standing a the bottom, looking up at them. She was still in her white prison outfit. She turned as Rose neared.

"Ah," she said as she saw Rose. "I imagine you can explain what has gotten into your Doctor," she said.

"What?" Rose asked, wondering what the Doctor might have done to upset Annabelle. Rose hoped it was something along the lines of threatening to return her forthwith to prison where she belonged.

"He is in quite the state isn't he?" Annabelle said. "I can't imagine a thing in the universe that gets him more riled up than you after all." Rose walked by Annabelle without replying. "I tried to talk to him yesterday," Annabelle said, halting Rose with her foot on the first step. "But he wouldn't listen. Perhaps you will." Rose glanced back at Annabelle with all the disgust she felt written all over her face.

"If you think either of us would ever listen to a single word you say, you're more delusional than I thought," Rose told her, turning away and heading up the stairs.

"I'm only trying to help," Annabelle insisted. Rose slowed down to a stop but did not turn around.

"You're a monster," Rose told her. "What makes you think we'd want your help?"

"Monster?" Annabelle asked in genuine surprise. "That's a bit harsh, is it not? I never did anything out of malice, Agent Tyler. I had my reasons and even if you might not agree with them you can't say I'm a monster."

Rose turned on the steps, glaring down at Annabelle.

"You murder innocent people!" Rose told her angrily.

"I did what I did because I had to. I found no joy in the lives I took."

"Really?" Rose asked, taking a couple of steps down. Annabelle drew herself up as she glared back at Rose where she stood over her, Rose's eyes ablaze with hatred. "I have two words for you, Annabelle Conn," Rose growled, taking another step down. "Harriet Jones." Annabelle froze.

"She was a means to an end," she tried.

"You told me you made her believe you'd set her free just so she would be surprised before you killed her," Rose said darkly. "And you smiled. As you told me that you just murdered one of my friends, you smiled." Rose stopped a mere couple of steps above Annabelle. "Nothing you can ever say or do would ever convince me you are not a monster."

Rose turned away, eager to be away from Annabelle and all her lies.

"Your Doctor has killed far more than I ever will!" Annabelle called after her but Rose paid her no mind as she hurried up the stairs.

Rose entered the familiar room to find the Doctor at the console. He was fully dressed in his blue suit now, shoes and everything. But his tie was slightly askew. The sight of it made her stomach do a bit of a summersault immediately reminding her of what had just happened in her room.

The TARDIS shook as the Doctor ran around it steering her, forcing Rose's mind back to the present. The Doctor clasped the edge of the console to stay on his feet, Rose clasping the railing next to her. Once the shaking eased Rose hurried over to his side. But the minute she reached it he rushed away, scurrying around, pressing buttons and pulling levers.

"So where are we going then?" Rose asked him carefully.

"We are going to find a way to fix what I broke," the Doctor told her.

"Heading for the coordinates I gave you?" Annabelle asked as she entered the room.

"Someone get her out of my sight," the Doctor said breezily.

"You heard 'im," Rose said, glancing over her shoulder at Annabelle.

"I'm afraid you are going to need me"

"Doubt it," the Doctor said, his eyes on the monitor, throwing one leg up on the console to reach a lever with his foot.

"You are," Annabelle insisted. "Because Davros set traps and I'm the only one who knows where they are."

Both the Doctor and Rose froze only to glance over at Annabelle.

"You are kidding?" Rose said. Annabelle's hollowed face twisted in that horrid smile of hers. Rose turned to the Doctor. "She is kidding, right?" she asked him. The Doctor watched Annabelle for a moment.

"Probably not," he allowed. "Sounds like something Davros would do.

"So we have to bring her?" Rose asked, sounding as though that was the worse idea she'd ever heard of. Which it was.

"Looks like it."

"Great," Rose muttered. "Bloody brilliant."

The Doctor ran past Rose, reaching for buttons he would normally ask her to press.

"Here we go," he said, pulling a lever and setting them down. The wonderful whining sound echoed through the room as the TARDIS touched ground.

"Where exactly are we?" Rose asked.

"No idea," the Doctor said. "Wherever we are it does not appear in the TARDIS data base or on any known maps." He turned the dials on the monitor. "The air is breathable," he said. "It's cold though. Minus twenty-three degrees." Rose shivered just at the prospect. "You two wait here," he said, heading out of the room. "Try not to turn her to dust while I'm gone," he said to Rose and hurried down the stairs.

Rose purposefully did not look at Annabelle in order to comply with this request.

"It's dangerous, what you're doing you know," Annabelle said. Rose ignored her but she could feel Annabelle's eyes boring into her neck so she eventually conceded. Rose sighed.

"Fine," she ground out. "What? What's dangerous?"

"You can practically taste the tension between you on the air," Annabelle said as though thoroughly disgusted by this. "I heard about Lachrymose," Annabelle said.

"How?" Rose interrupted her. "You were in a cell."

"I didn't give that woman information for nothing," Annabelle told Rose. Rose turned around, leaning back against the console and folding her arms across her chest.

"You gave her just enough information to trap the Doctor so you could blackmail him into breaking you out," Rose told her.

"True," Annabelle allowed. "But at any rate. I heard you levelled an entire block."

"No one got hurt," Rose said, shuffling something unseen with her shoe.

"This time," Annabelle said, her words sending a cut of worry through Rose's stomach.

"Do you have a point?" Rose asked, hiding her concern by sounding bored with the whole conversation.

"I do if you care to listen to it," Annabelle snapped. Rose waited for her to continue. "You already know the answer," Annabelle said. "You already figured it out."

"What?" Rose asked. "...are you on about?" The Doctor suddenly emerged with a bundle of coats in his arms, ending their conversation. He tossed one long black one with fur along its edges, to Annabelle who just managed to catch it. He walked over and handed the other one to Rose. The coat was a soft grey colour with fur that looked like wolf's fur over the shoulders and up to cover the entire hood. Rose took the coat from the Doctor and drew it on. It was shorter than Annabelle's. Where her's was floor length Rose's reached to about her knee, but it flared out a little from her waist making the silhouette absolutely gorgeous. It was double breasted at the front, secured with black, ebony buttons.

"Let's go," the Doctor said, drawing on his own coat and heading for the door, Rose in tow and Annabelle trailing behind.

They stepped out into a vast winter landscape. It was incredibly beautiful. As far as the eye could see there was nothing but snow and mountains. The sky was coated with cotton white clouds and Rose could just hint an ice-blue planet behind them with rings like Saturn. Big, delicate snowflakes fell from the pale sky, landing on Rose's eyelashes and melting against her skin. It was freezing cold and Rose immediately had to pull up the hood.

"Ok," Rose said, looking around. "Where is this place? Doesn't seem like there's anything for miles."

"It's because you don't know what you're looking for," Annabelle told her dismissively and walked past them, heading towards, as far as Rose could see, nothing.

The Doctor wrapped his hand around Rose's arm and leaned down close to her.

"Shift your perspective," he said softly. "Just a little." And he pulled her just and inch towards him. Suddenly before her Rose could see a big structure. Domes upon domes in a very alien design. Though she quickly realised it wasn't so very alien. It was Dalek made. clearly. "Do you see it?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded, just as she leaned back to her previous position and watched as the whole thing magically vanished.

"How is that possible?" she asked in wonder and leaned back towards the Doctor, the structure once again materialising.

"It's shielding has a mirror effect," the Doctor explained. He was close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek. "But it's not perfect."

"Nothing ever is..." Rose murmured. She felt the Doctor's gaze, intent on her. She turned her head, her eyes meeting his.

"Some things are," he said, giving her a crocked smile before striding off with his hands in his pockets. The wind caught at his coat, making it billow out behind him, dancing with the falling snow. Rose followed, knowing she'd follow him anywhere. Straight into hell if that's what it took. If only to drag his sorry ass back out again.


	42. Chapter 42 - Descent

Chapter 42 - Descent 

The snow fell around them as Rose and the Doctor stood watching Annabelle as she deactivated the shield. She sat hunkered down on the ground, her black coat spread out behind her as she worked at some control panel. The shield flickered and vanished.

"Done," Annabelle said, rising to her feet and striding off towards the structure in front of them. The Doctor and Rose followed, Rose gazing up at the huge metallic building as they neared it. It was entirely comprised of domes, towering above them like a dark shadow in the snow covered landscape around it.

The Doctor reached out and clasped Rose's hand. Rose looked down at their interlocked fingers a little in surprise. She felt a wave of discomfort from him across the bond. Old memories stirring in the back of his mind. Memories of death and war. Her hand tightened reassuringly around his.

"Come on," Annabelle called to them, as she stood in the opened doorway. They both hurried to join her. Rose took a last breath of the clean cold air before following the Doctor.

Once inside, light flickered on, casting their surroundings in a weak orange light. They were standing in a round room, several hallways leading off in every direction.

"The libraries are this way," Annabelle said, heading off across the room. "Don't step on any of the blue tiles." She indicated the floor. Rose looked down. It was so covered with dirt and grime that it was hard to tell if any of the tiles had ever even had a colour.

The Doctor pulled Rose with him, his fingers tight around hers. She was extremely grateful for the comfort it brought. Though they'd stepped inside it was just as cold as it had been outside. The walls were dark and dull. The place had an empty and neglected feel to it. And secrets. You could practically taste the secrets.

They made it across the floor, Rose being careful to step where the Doctor stepped to avoid the blue tiles she could barely spot.

"What happens if we step on a blue tile?" the Doctor asked Annabelle.

"Security system activates," Annabelle said.

"What exactly does that mean?" Rose wondered, wanting specifics. Were they talking toxic gases that melted your face off or giant boulders chasing them down the halls to squash them?

"I don't think Davros ever watched Raiders," the Doctor pointed out over his shoulder. Rose smiled a little, realising she'd projected her thoughts again.

"Bad things," Annabelle answered Rose.

"How bad?" the Doctor wanted to know. Annabelle looked cautiously around before heading down the dark hallway.

"Let's just say Davros didn't just use this place for storing old books," she said. "This was his..." she trailed off searching for the right word. "His retreat," she finished.

"Retreat?" Rose asked in disbelief. Annabelle nodded. "What could a madman like Davros possibly do to relax?" Rose wondered.

"Oh, the usual," Annabelle said with a shake of her shoulders. "Gene manipulation, cloning, imagining new and better ways to destroy his enemies."

"Yeah, that sounds very relaxing," Rose muttered.

They made their way carefully down the cave-like hallway.

 _How do we know she's not leading us into a trap?_ Rose asked the Doctor easily across the bond. Talking to him that way was like breathing.

 _We don't_ , was the reply. _And she probably is._

 _Then what are we doing?_ Rose asked.

"I just want to see what she does," the Doctor whispered with a conspiratorial smile. But there was a tremor in that smile. A hesitation.

Suddenly Annabelle stopped in front of them. She looked back down the hallway with a frown.

"What's wrong?" the Doctor asked.

"Something's different." Annabelle kept looking around. "He changed something."

"Guess he didn't trust you," Rose said.

"Davros didn't trust anyone." Annabelle stared wearily down the hall.

"Weeell," the Doctor drew the word out. "Only one way to find out," he said and marched past them. He fished his sonic- screwdriver out of his inner pocket. The whirring sound filled the hall as he used it to scan their surroundings. He walked carefully onwards, Rose following him. Annabelle was staying behind. "Wait." The Doctor held up his hand. Rose stopped. He ran the sonic over his head, aimed at the ceiling, the blue light flickering in the dark. "Uh..." He made a sound that did not sound good.

"Doctor?"

"Not good," he said. "I think, not good."

Two dots of light appeared down the hallway. Two ominous and all too familiar dots of light. Rose instinctively stumbled back a step.

"You didn't say he kept Daleks here!" the Doctor turned and barked at Annabelle. But Annabelle wasn't there. She was gone.

"Doctor..." Rose stared with absolute terror rushing through her veins as the spots of light got closer. The Doctor turned back around.

"That's not right," he mumbled, taking a step towards them instead of away. Rose clasped his arm.

"Doctor," she hissed. But then she saw what he meant. The two light dots weren't moving steadily towards them as they would with a Dalek's motoring system. They were bobbing up and down ever so slightly. For some reason that made Rose's blood run cold. "I think we should go," Rose suggested. But the Doctor wasn't moving.

"What are you?" he asked of the the two dots as they crept towards them. And when they reached a pool of dim orange light Rose wished he had never asked that question because she sure as hell never wanted the answer.

It was a couple of things born out of a nightmare. The worst nightmare she could imagine. Rose stifled a scream. The two things had the head and body of a Dalek but instead of the body fanning out at the bottom it was slimmed down to a point. And to it was attached legs. Mechanic, insect-like legs. The Doctor froze next to her as he stared at the terrifying creations. The legs twitched horribly as they seemed to move independent of the others, exactly like a spider. The way the mechanics twisted as it moved made Rose think these were not quite finished. But what you saw of a Dalek was just the outer shell, the battle armour. The true, living thing was inside. Was there something living in these things as well?

"Run," the Doctor breathed just as the eyestalks swivelled to fix on Rose and the Doctor.

"IN-TRUDERS DE-TECTED," both things said in unison, the terribly but familiar mechanical sound of the Daleks echoing through the hallway.

"Run!" the Doctor screamed, grabbing Rose's hand as they both turned and ran for their lives.

"EXTERMINATE!"

The Doctor yanked Rose to the side. Both of them stumbling down another dark hallway. They could hear the Daleks metallic legs as they chased after them. They were fast. So fast.

"Don't stop!" the Doctor shouted to Rose. He tried to pull her with him but the Daleks were on them. Rose cried out as one knocked her to the floor. It's insect legs never stopped moving as it towered over her aiming it's exterminator gun. "No!" the Doctor screamed, the ounce of fear in his voice enough to make Rose's bones quiver.

The other Dalek knocked the Doctor to the side. The Dalek above Rose was still aiming it's weapon but it wasn't firing. Why wasn't it firing? Rose stared at the gun. No bright light. No pain. She'd been shot with one of those things. She knew what it was supposed to be like.

"Rose!" the Doctor screamed.

"It can't shoot!" Rose screamed back. "It can't shoot!" Rose laughed. Laughed because it was funny but also because she was scared out of her mind.

The Dalek seemed to glare down at her. Up close she could see exposed wires running along it's body, like it's intestines were hanging out. This should have made it seem more vulnerable but it didn't. It made it more menacing. Like what was inside of it was trying to tear it's way out.

Rose's laughter quickly died as the Dalek raised one of its spidery legs. Rose stared at it. It looked sharp and powerful, ending in a point. It came piercing down through the air right at her head. She turned at the very last second. It slammed down in the floor inches away from her.

Rose flipped over on her stomach and crawled desperately away. The Dalek's legs slammed down again and again. She managed to dodge them by some miracle and scrambled to her feet.

The Doctor was pinned to the wall by the other Dalek.

"YOU WILL I-DENTIFY!" the Dalek demanded. The Doctor got the screwdriver out and ran it along the Dalek's neck. It whirred and flashed and some mechanism released. He took a hold and bent the Dalek opened as it screamed.

Rose was stepping back as the other Dalek stalked her.

"I-DENTIFY," it too demanded. Rose looked at it as it jerked towards her. "I-DENTIFY OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!"

The Dalek by the Doctor was screaming like a wounded animal but that was not stopping it from trying to plant one of those razor sharp legs right into him. Rose took one look at the Dalek in front of her.

"Ah hell," she said and then she ran straight for it. The thing was so surprised it must not have known what to do. Rose threw herself to the floor and and scrambled between the Dalek's legs to come out behind it. She jumped to her feet and rushed over to the Doctor. He was holding one of the mechanic legs with both hands, trying desperately to prevent it from severing his head from his shoulders.

"Hey!" Rose called to it and insanely slapped the thing over the head. It immediately swivelled around, the eyestalk focusing on her. It distracted it just enough for the Doctor to slip away. He grabbed Rose's hand and yanked her back.

The Dalek that had tried to kill the Doctor turned fully towards them, its spidery legs twitching. As it turned, Rose gasped. The Doctor had managed to bend the casing opened and Rose could see the thing inside. It looked like a Dalek but its limbs were contorted and twisted at odd angles. But the most horrid thing of all was that it didn't look like the squid like thing had simply been placed inside a metal shell it looked as though it was part of the machine. It's flesh fused with the wires and metal. It reminded Rose of Annabelle's back-brace.

The Doctor must have done some serious damage to it for it jerked erratically ahead. Far worse than the one behind it. The Doctor's hold on Rose's hand tightened as they turned and ran again.

They rushed on in a desperate dash to escape Davros's nightmarish creations. They ran until they found their way back to the round room where they had started. The one with all the hallways. They headed for a random one knowing it was dangerous if Annabelle hadn't lied and there were traps. Rose stumbled in her haste. She caught herself against the floor, her hands slamming down hard. She stared at the blue plate beneath her hand. Avoid the blue plates, Annabelle had said. Rose instantly pulled her hand back. But it was too late. The plate retracted into the floor.

"EXTERMINATE!" The two Daleks appeared behind them, the damaged one twitching and jerking behind the other. The Doctor hauled Rose to her feet. They backed up, staring in horror at the two twisted Daleks.

A rumbling noise rang from inside the walls, like old machinery starting up. The hallways began sealing themselves off. Heavy, hidden doors, slamming shut on them.

"Run!" the Doctor shouted. They both ran for the nearest doorway. The door was already sliding shut. Rose flew by. She twirled around to see the Doctor squeeze past, not a single inch to spare. Suddenly he was yanked savagely back.

"EXTERMINATE." One of the Daleks had gotten a hold of his coat somehow. "EXTER-" The Dalek was cut of as the door slid closed. Rose and the Doctor faintly heard its screams as its leg was severed. The Doctor took the heavy thing, pulling it free from his coat and tossing it on the ground. It twitched and spasmed as though it was a real limb.

The Doctor stumbled back from it until he bumped into Rose. They both stood for a moment catching their breath.

"You ok?" he asked. Rose nodded. As ok as she could be with her heart pumping adrenaline infused blood through her veins at a rate that was making her dizzy.

"They screamed," Rose said, staring at the mechanic leg. "They screamed as though it really hurt."

"I imagine it did," the Doctor said. "I don't know what sick and twisted thing Davros was trying to accomplish with this but I'm sure they felt everything. More than any Dalek should."

"I get the feeling..." Rose said. "...that perhaps Davros wasn't the only one playing down here."

"No," the Doctor agreed, struggling to tear his eyes away from the horrid thing still twitching on the floor. His eyes caught on Rose's trembling fingers.

"You sure you're ok?" He nodded towards her hands.

"Fine," Rose insisted, shaking them out. "It's just the adrenaline." He reached out, placing his hand over hers. It was amazing how his touch could both douse a flame and ignite it.

"Come on," he said, nodding down the hall. "Let's go."

They both began walking down the new hallway. It was as dark and cavelike as the other had been. The Doctor held up the screwdriver trying to scan for any of these traps Annabelle had claimed littered the place.

"Any idea where Annabelle might have gotten off to?" Rose wondered.

"She could be anywhere," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, well it was you who wanted to see what she'd do," Rose remarked.

"Yes," the Doctor agreed, He glanced at her. "And I did."

"Do you think she want's something here?" Rose looked around the hallway. There were lights at regular intervals along the walls, but they did very little to illuminate.

"I'm sure of it," the Doctor answered.

"Any idea what?"

"No clue."

"How reassuring," Rose remarked with sarcasm.

"I don't have the answers to everything," the Doctor remarked, sounding a bit affronted that she appeared to have no understanding of this.

"Oh, really?" Rose asked. "I wasn't aware that you knew that."

The Doctor glanced at her, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth.

"Duck!" the Doctor suddenly exclaimed and pushed her head down as something whirred past over them. Rose whipped her hair out of the way as she tried to catch a glimpse of what it had been.

"What was that?" Rose asked.

"No idea," the Doctor answered and immediately took off after it. Rose rolled her eyes before following.

The Doctor was aiming his screwdriver ahead of him as he ran. As whatever he chased passed a pool of light, Rose caught a glimpse of something round and metal.

"Doctor!' Rose called after him, struggling to catch up. He could be ever so quick if he wanted to. A loud clank rang out, reverberating off the walls as the thing fell out of the air.

"Got it!' The Doctor called out in triumph. Rose caught up to him as he hunkered down on the floor to examine the metal orb more closely.

"What is it?" Rose asked again. The Doctor was running his sonic over it.

"Some kind of data collector," he said.

"What?"

"It fly's about and collects data," the Doctor clarified as though this was so very obvious. Rose hated when he used that tone of voice. It made her feel like she was a moron for asking.

"Yes, but what kind of data?"

The thing lit up under the Doctor's ministrations. It was the size of a football, a blue eye glowing at it's centre, much like the eyestalk of a Dalek. The blue light intensified until it projected an image. The Doctor used the sonic and the images began changing rapidly, ranging from empty hallways, to laboratories, to lines and lines of information.

"All kinds, apparently," the Doctor observed.

"Wait," Rose halted him. "Go back." He did as she asked. "There, stop." The image halted, showing an empty hallway.

"What are we looking at?" the Doctor asked.

"Just wait for it," Rose told him. They stared at the image. Then suddenly a baldheaded shape in a black coat whisked by.

"Conn," the Doctor said darkly.

"Can we see where she went?"

The Doctor ran the screwdriver over the data- collector. Flashes of different sections of the base flashed by.

"There!" They watched Annabelle looking around before using a control panel to open a door. It slid opened and she hurried inside. As the door closed they saw the number 43 and CLab in large letters across it.

"Is there a map in that thing?" Rose asked.

"Hang on."

It took the Doctor only a moment to retrieve a map of the whole building. It was massive, continuing well under ground.

"Ok, Annabelle's here," the Doctor pointed to an area on the holographic map. "But the libraries seems to be over here." He pointed to another area, well away from the first.

"We should split up," Rose suggested. "I'll take Annabelle and you hit the books."

"What? No, no we are not splitting up," the Doctor immediately objected.

"It's the best way."

"No, there actually is no way I am leaving you to run around this place by yourself. Forget it."

"Doctor..."

"No."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know that."

"So why...?"

"Just no, Rose, ok?"

"Not ok. Whatever Annabelle is up to it can't be good," Rose said, pointing to the map. "But you can't be in two places at once, Doctor." He was shaking his head. "I was an agent at Torchwood for a year," Rose reminded him. "And I've travelled with you, for what? Three years now?" The Doctor straightened up.

"I don't want us to stick together because I think you won't be able to handle yourself," the Doctor told her. "I can. I want us to stick together because I need you with me." His dark eyes were intent on hers. "Besides..." he said. "You're the one always yelling at people in movies when they split up."

Well, Rose had to admit that was true.

"Oh, alright," she finally conceded. "Books first."

The Doctor gave her a smile before he turned back to the data-collector on the floor.

"Ok," he said picking it up. "Up you go." He tossed it into the air and there it hovered, looking from the Doctor to Rose and back again. "Lead the way," the Doctor told it, holding out his arm invitingly. The sphere seemed to give them a nod before it whisked away, Rose and the Doctor hurrying after it.

They followed it down the winding, dark halls. Deeper and deeper. Rose had no idea if its presence alone deactivated traps but they ran into none.

"So, about this Omega, bloke?" Rose said as they walked down the halls.

"What about him?"

"You didn't tell me much," Rose pointed out. "Who was he?"

"A madman," the Doctor said. "And not the good kind either." Rose waited for him to elaborate. "He was brilliant," the Doctor explained. "An engineer. He was the one who discovered how to travel in time. He made all kinds of wonderful but also some quite horrifying inventions."

"Was he always mad?" Rose asked, needing to keep talking to distract herself from the pressing darkness around them. She didn't much like this place. It felt as though some twisted, horrid thing could appear at any second, creeping out behind a corner, ready to defend Davros's secrets.

The Doctor and Rose followed the floating orb down another hallway.

"No," the Doctor said. "He got stuck in an anti-matter universe. Alone and forgotten. That's were he went mad they say. Tried to destroy everyone. "

"The Time Lords?'

"Yes. He wanted revenge. I never really understood what for. I imagine it had something to do with him and Rassilon. They had a complicated relationship."

"What do you think he's got to do with the bond?" Rose wondered.

"I don't know. He was married once, I know that. Maybe he bonded with her. Patience, I think she was called."

"And what happened to her?"

"No idea."

The hallways twisted and turned, growing steadily darker, the lights fewer and further in between. It was getting colder too and Rose was thankful for the fur coat. There were no windows. No way to tell if they were even still above ground.

They saw the data-collector stop some distance away.

"Easy is the decent," the Doctor muttered under his breath. The descent into hell, Rose thought. The descent into hell is easy. It was some latin quote she'd heard in school or perhaps she'd read it in a book. It continued with something like, but to retrace your steps to heaven's air, There is the trouble, there is the toil. She thought at the time that it simply meant it was always easier to fall than to climb back up. But now, now she felt more like the words mirrored the nature of good an evil in one self. After all, wasn't it always easier to descend into hell than to reach for heaven? Easier to do bad than good? Easier to destroy rather than create?

The Doctor and Rose walked down the length of the hallway until they got to the floating orb where it hovered in front of a door with some form of touchpad next to it. The Doctor ran his hand over the pad and the door slid opened with a mechanic groan. The orb flew in first, whizzing about the room. Rose followed the Doctor inside. A few lights flickered on to illuminate the main floor. It was the same dank orange light that were everywhere else. It was nothing like the library on the TARDIS. Where the TARDIS library was a wonderful wining labyrinth of dusty tomes and stacks as high as the ceiling, smelling of oakwood and ember. This library, if you could call it that, was all straight lines and cold metal. There were no books on the shelves that Rose could see. They looked more like binders with subject matters on the spines. Rose wandered over to one section. As she touched a binder it lit up with a faded white light. Basic Anatomy DB14, it read. Rose took it out and opened it. Inside was a small screen that immediately showed her the skeletal structure of a creature she'd never seen before. It looked like some prehistoric beast. Attached to the folder were tissue samples, biopsies of internal organs, voice recordings and reports. Rose closed the folder and put it back.

"Rose, over here," the Doctor called. Rose looked around, finding him deep inside the library, way in the back. She could only hint his silhouette in the dark.

She hurried over to him.

"What did you find?" she asked.

"Everything," he said, indicating the space around them. There were stacks upon stacks all filled with those binders. She touched a few and they lit up showing her subject matters like, Gallifrey, technological advances, reproduction, history and warfare. There were many, many more.

"Are all these about Time Lords?" Rose asked, looking around.

"About Gallifrey, yes," the Doctor confirmed. "Or so it would seem."

"Best get started then, yeah?" Rose said, looking at him. The Doctor did not look excited. He looked rather scared. "Hey?" Rose asked carefully. "You ok?" It took a while for him to answer.

"Yep," he finally said, nodding. But he still didn't look ok. He walked past Rose and picked up a binder, right at the bottom of one bookcase. "Try to find anything about Omega," he said. "We don't have time to look through everything." Rose nodded.

Rose remembered that the reference they'd found in the TARDIS library had been something about trial records so she kept a look out for that too. She went through many binders. Some even held actual books and some held loose papers, and others had artefacts with Gallifreyan circular script on them. Davros had amassed quite the collection.

Rose pulled down a binder that she had to stretch up on her toes to reach. Trial and Punishment, was the name on the spine. She flipped it opened. This binder held several loose parchment- like papers. Each paper had one page with Circular Gallifreyan and another attached to it with english letters which meant it was a language the TARDIS translated. Rose skimmed through the pages until the circles for the bond jumped out at her. She immediately skipped to the page with the translation.

"Doctor..." Rose said carefully. "I think I've found something." He was sitting on the floor, a binder in his lap. She thought it might actually still be the same one he had first picked out. He looked up at her. She didn't like the look in his eyes. He looked as though he wasn't at all surprised. He drew in a hasty breath through his nose.

"What have you found?" he urged her. Rose hesitantly returned to the binder in her hands.

"Court records," she said. "They mention the bond."

"Is it Omega?" the Doctor asked. Rose skimmed through the text.

"I don't think so," she said. "It's some guy's name I can't pronounce... Greydosavanao... Greydo.." Rose sighed with defeat. "I'll just call him Grey," she said.

"And what happened to our Mr. Grey?" the Doctor asked.

"He.. broke the ancient law of bonding," Rose read aloud. The Doctor sprang to his feet, hurrying over to her.

"Let me see." Rose handed the binder over to him. He flipped back the pages until he got to the Gallifreyan original. Rose watched as most of the blood drained out of his face.

"Doctor, what?" Rose asked, starting to get genuinely worried.

The Doctor didn't appear to hear her as he kept reading.

"Doctor, what is it?" she asked, louder this time.

"He bonded," the Doctor finally answered distractedly. "With a girl, Leonova." Rose watched as he became very, very still. She waited impatiently for him to tell her what he'd found, even though she was a little scared to learn it.

"The council made sure they'd committed the crime before passing judgement." He sounded sickened by what he'd read.

"Which means?"

"Full mind intrusion," the Doctor said. "They basically..." but he couldn't seem to bring himself to say it.

"They raped his mind." Rose did not shy away from it as he had. The Doctor flinched at the word she choose.

"Yes," he admitted reluctantly. Rose knew enough about telepathy to know that intruding into someones mind without their consent would be not only painful but was considered one of the worst crimes you could commit. For the Time Lords to do that to one of their own they must have had a very good reason or they must have been really, really scared. "And they..." he swallowed hard. "They made sure she could feel it. Leonova. They made sure she could feel his pain."

"And could she?" Rose asked, not noticing that she was clenching her hands so tightly her nails were digging into her palms.

"Yes."

"What happened to them?"

"Uhm...," the Doctor mumbled, hastily reading through the records. "Here's a transcript from the sentencing," the Doctor informed her. "As by the laws set forth by Rassilion," he read out loud. "Where as any Time Lord or Lady forge the bond of ancient union be it by chance or intent shall be sentenced..." he paused. Rose could see he had no desire to finish reading but he took a breath and did it anyway. "...to death with no chance of appeal. If crimes have been committed as a result these shall also be taken into account." Rose felt nauseous. A death sentence. Clear cut and simple. Whether actual crimes had been committed or not. Forging the bond was enough. Falling in love was enough. "You are therefore hereby sentenced to endure the pain of severance as the form of your execution," the Doctor finished, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

"Pain of Severance?" Rose looked up at him. "What's that?"

But the Doctor didn't answer. He was staring at the text before him as though it had just confirmed all his worst fears.

"Doctor?" Rose asked carefully.

"I didn't want to believe it," he said, swallowing hard. "I couldn't let myself believe that they'd ever condone such a ting."

"But this was long ago, yeah?" Rose asked. But the Doctor shook his head. He looked dizzy.

"This trial..." he stared at the words. "This was during my lifetime. This sentence... it's signed by Romana." He swallowed hard. "I knew her. I knew her."

"But you said this hadn't happened during your lifetime," Rose pointed out.

"I thought it hadn't. Guess I was wrong."

He stumbled back, the binder falling out of his limps fingers, the papers drifting down to the floor around his feet. He didn't stop until his back hit the bookcase behind him. He ran shaking fingers through his hair.

"Doctor?" Rose tried, but it was like he couldn't see her. "Doctor!" His eyes snapped to hers.

"I think I understand what happened to Omega," he said, for a moment glancing down at the binder he'd been reading. Adherence of Ohm, it said on its spine. "He's the reason they executed Grey and Leonova without them having done anything but bond. They hadn't done anything yet and they executed them anyway."

"Why? What did this Omega do that was so bad?" Rose asked.

"I think he did bond with Patience only he lost her. She didn't die but he lost her and he became obsessed with getting her back. He opened black holes and experimented with things he didn't know enough about. I think it even started a war. A really big war. Between the Time Lords and the great vampires. The war was so devastating that after it was over we renounced all violence. Until the Daleks and the Time war. I didn't know why. I didn't know why he did it. How the war started."

"And what happened to Omega?" Rose asked, her voice nothing but a whisper.

"I don't think he could let it go," the Doctor said. "He kept trying to find a way, even after the war. Blowing up stars to harness the power of time travel, creating black holes to reach other dimensions. He would have blown a hole in the universe."

"I imagine he didn't though."

"No," the Doctor confirmed. "According to that." he pointed down at the folder he'd been reading. "He didn't get stuck in an Anit-matter universe either. Rassilon betrayed him. Sent him there on purpose. Because Rassilon thought he had to be stopped."

The Doctor's eyes were far away. Rose could see that this wasn't only something he might just have read. This was part of his history. He was part of these events even if at the time he'd not known what he knew now.

"He went mad Rose. Mad beyond measure," he said. "I just never knew this was the reason." His head fell into his hands. "Oh, god what have I done," he moaned in despair. Rose hurried over to him, placing her hands over his. But he immediately twitched away from her. Right before he did Rose got a flash of a memory from him. A battle. Fought against a man who was no longer a man, a metal suit the only thing holding him together. Omega.

The Doctor had known him, had fought him. He'd seen what the bond had done first hand. He'd just not known it at the time. He'd seen Omega's madness. The way his mind had twisted and warped to hate his own race for a loss he could never bear, for a betrayal he could never understand.

That's why the law was so hard. That's why Time Lords were not allowed to marry for love because what happened to Omega could happen to any of them. He would have destroyed everything if Rassilon had not stopped him. Because once forged the bond could not be broken. Two souls tied together for all of time. Tear them apart and the world turned to ash in their grief.

The Doctor raised his gaze to meet Rose's. There was something in those dark eyes of his. Something... Confirmation. That's what he'd come down here for, she realised with a stroke of fear. He'd already made a decision before they even arrived. All he'd needed was confirmation and he had it. Rose didn't understand what it was but he did.

When he'd left her room she'd feared he was heading down a dark path. She'd been right. She should have stopped him. She shouldn't have let him walk out because this path he was on it was taking him away from her. He couldn't see it, but it was.

"Do you remember me telling you..." the Doctor said. "...that we weren't allowed to love like this because of the destruction we had the power to inflict?"

"I remember," Rose said, shivering as she did, feeling cold to the bone. Fear freezing her marrow into ice. She remembered sitting in her room, on her bed in the TARDIS when the Doctor had told her just what it was he'd done when he'd saved her life. How he'd tied them together, body and soul, with a bond so strong it could have been forged in the heart of supernova. He'd told her Time Lords weren't allowed to love like this because they had the power to destroy the very fabric of time and for the one they loved they would.

"It was true," he said. "It wasn't just an idea. It was fact." Rose could hear what little hope he might have had fracturing and falling apart in every word he spoke. "It was all true."

"No," Rose shook her head. She couldn't let him do this. Whatever he was thinking. She couldn't let him. "It doesn't have to be like that," she said. "We don't have to end up like Omega and Patience or even Grey and Leonova. We can break the cycle."

"There is only one way to break this cycle," he said. Break the bond.

"We'll just keep looking through all these folders," Rose said, throwing out her arm to indicate the stacks around them. "We'll find something."

"I already found the answers I was looking for," he said, his voice monotone. Rose turned back to him.

"What?"

"It can't be broken. Not even by death. I would have walked into fire if I thought it might free you," he said.

"Free me? What suddenly makes you think I want to be free of you?" Rose asked, her fear mixing with confusion. He wasn't making much sense.

"You leave don't you?" he said. But Rose immediately shook her head.

"No, never. I told you, I don't care what River said or what I saw I'm not leaving you."

"Well, I'm going to make sure you at least have the choice," he said. The Doctor's eyes fell from hers and he walked away.

Rose stared at his back. That familiar shape. The long coat, the sneakers and the messy hair. He was leaving her behind again, she thought. She could feel it on the inside, like strings being pulled to breaking point. She hurried after him. No matter what, getting left behind was never something she'd resign herself to. She'd fight it tooth and nail. She grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"Doctor, where are you going?" she demanded to know. He didn't turn to face her.

"Fix what I broke," he answered.

"How? You said the bond can't be broken. If it could your people would have done it, right? They wouldn't have resorted to executions."

"It can't be broken," he confirmed. "But it can be undone. It always could."

"I don't understand..."

Finally he turned to face her and what she saw was like nothing she'd ever seen before. She'd seen hints of it. When he was pushed or when he was afraid. A darkness, buried deep inside. Everyone had it. No one was all good or all bad. Rose wasn't either. She had the capacity to do terrible things. It scared her sometimes. Not really knowing what she was capable off. But when she looked at the Doctor now, that darkness was all she could see. There was no light. He'd made his decision. And it was a horrible decision. "Undo it," Rose whispered. "You mean alter a fixed point."

The Doctor reached out his hand and ran his knuckles down the side of Rose's face. It wasn't a pleasant shiver that accompanied his touch this time. It was cold. Ice cold. Bright and hard as a diamond and just as unforgiving. Rose shook her head.

"You can't do that," she said.

"I am a Time Lord," the Doctor reminded her. "The laws of time are mine. I can do what I want."

"And no one can stop you?"

"No."

"Doctor." Rose clasped his hand that was still at her cheek. He felt so cold. "I bet that's what Omega thought. We were going to break the cycle not complete it."

"This will break it," he said. "You don't see what I see," the Doctor said. "You don't know what I know."

"Then tell me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have to. I am going to undo all of it. I am going to change history. I am going to shape the future and it's going to be one where you are safe." His fingers tightened around hers. "My Rose," he said, pulling her close and kissing her before she had a chance to object.

Every movement of his lips against hers felt like a broken goodbye and her hands tightened desperately around his neck. She could not let this happen. She couldn't loose him like this. If every brush of his lips was a goodbye than every touch of hers was a wish for him to stay. But the kiss was over almost before it had begun.

The Doctor released her, stepping back. He turned away before Rose could stop him. It was all wrong, Rose thought as she watched him walk away. Every word, every thought. It was all wrong. The door opened as the Doctor touched the pad at its side. He walked through but then turned around. She saw him through the doorway, standing with one hand in his pocket, his coat hanging from his shoulders, his blue suit and red sneakers the same as she'd seen a hundred times. But he looked at her with a dark sort of calm she wasn't used to. A calm that scared her. She'd rather have him throw something again or wreck the whole room, even scream at her. Not this. She never wanted to see this. He raised his hand, holding his sonic-screwdriver. The tip lit up blue a second before Rose realised what he was doing.

She ran for the door. It slid shut just as she reached it. Rose slammed her hand against the touchpad. The door did not open.

"Doctor!" she screamed, pounding on the door. "Doctor, don't! Do you hear me?! Doctor!"

"Rose." He spoke her name so softly she had to put her ear to the door to hear him.

"Don't," she said, tears beginning to stream down her face. She felt him there, against the other side of the door and was painfully reminded of another time with another kind of wall separating them. But that time, events had torn them apart. This time it was his choice.

"Time will bend for me," she heard him say. "I'll make it bend for me."

She felt him vanish. "Doctor!" she screamed, pounding on the door. "Don't do this! Damn you! Don't!" Tears had begun to fall in earnest, probably smearing what little makeup she'd put on this morning. "Yes! Do you hear me?!" she cried in desperation. "You have my, yes!" She pounded her fist against the door again, pain radiating up her arm at the impact. "Just don't," she begged. "Don't, please."

She was loosing him, she could feel it. It wasn't just the physical distance though that was becoming greater for every passing minute. She was loosing so much more. She was loosing everything.

/

The sound of Rose pounding her fists against the locked door followed him as he walked away. So much for not separating, he thought absentmindedly. But she couldn't be with him for this, he thought. Not for this. So much in his life was predestined. So much tied up in prophecy. His love of Rose. His death. No more. He was done being fate's puppet. From now on he made the rules. It was his right. He was owed this. He'd thought he was just a surviver. That he'd lost. But no, he'd been wrong. He was the last of the Time Lords and that made him a winner. He'd won.

The Doctor made his way out of Davros's compound. It hadn't been hard to memorise the map he'd found in the data-collector and use it to find a way out. Snow was still falling, the landscape white and cold. He saw his TARDIS, waiting for him. This was were it all changed. This was the moment were he took control.

He walked towards the familiar blue box when suddenly he froze. Every joint in his body locked, his blood ran like ice in his veins. There, right next to the TARDIS stood an Ood. Ood Sigma to be exact. The first one who'd told him his song was ending. It had been the reason he'd taken Rose to that planet with the New Years Eve celebration. His fear of dying is what had made him for just a moment throw all caution to the wind as he'd held her against him, her skin sleek with rain, her dress slippery and every fibre of her being so utterly alive.

Until he'd realised the selfishness of his actions. And then she'd burned and he'd thought he was going to loose her then and there. Four days of her screams in the TARDIS. No anaesthetic had worked. Nothing he did could ease her suffering. Day and night she screamed with agony as her burned body slowly healed. And he'd been able to feel it all.

And now here he stood. Ood Sigma. Who had with his few choice words ripped the Doctor's world asunder. The Doctor felt fear, unbridled and sharp pierce through him. Not yet, he thought. Whether the end would come for him or not it couldn't. Not yet. He wasn't ready.

"Is it time?!" he cried out to Ood Sigma. The Ood just looked at him, saying nothing. "I can't!" the Doctor cried out. "Not yet. Rose..!" he trailed off, struggling for a moment to breathe. But he was going to change all this. He could. None of this had to happen. He wouldn't have to die and she... she would be safe. He would have to go far back. Enough that she wouldn't be sick. Before he'd lost her to the other universe. It wasn't just altering one fixed point. He would have to unravel their lives. But it could be done. Anything could be done. Time would bend for him.

Ood Sigma took the translation sphere and it lit up as the snow fell around him.

"Time bends for no man, Doctor," he said in that soft voice of the Ood.

"I am a Time Lord!" the Doctor screamed, fear and desperation marring his voice. "It will bend for me!" The Ood tilted his head, regarding the Doctor. "I am the Time Lord Victorious!" the Doctor screamed. "The laws of time are mine!"


	43. Chapter 43 - Pis aller

Chapter 43 - Pis Aller

Rose pushed away from the door and ran back to the section where they'd found words that had torn their world apart. She grabbed the binder the Doctor had been reading. Adherence of Ohm. What the hell was that? She flipped opened the binder. It was filled with reports and a small book that looked much like a prayer book. She skimmed over the reports. The Adherence of Ohm was a cult. A cult worshipping Omega. Rose opened the small book. It was filled with text. The shorthand the Doctor had showed her, which meant she could read none of it. She discarded the book and flipped through more of the pages of the reports. Apparently the book contained the gospel of Omega. His life. That must have been what the Doctor had read. She doubted he was foolish enough to trust the words of a cult alone but what he'd read had most likely matched up with what he already knew.

Omega and Patience fate had been a nightmare. Grey and Leonova's had been a tragedy. But that did not mean that Rose and the Doctor's had to be. The Doctor had talked to her about fixed points in time. Most things were in flux. They could be altered. But fixed points were fixed. They were the pillars on which time rested. Pull one away and it all came tumbling down. She wasn't going to let him do this. Not for anything.

Rose could feel him walking away, the bond stretching like a string about to snap. Except she knew it wouldn't snap. It would tug and pull turning steadily more painful until one or both of them could no longer take it. But he wasn't gone yet, she reminded herself. There was still time. Rose tossed the binder on the floor and hurried back onto the main floor. The orb was still whizzing about.

"Hey you!" Rose called to it. To Rose's relief it stopped, glancing down at her with its blue Dalek eye. "Can you get that door opened?" Rose asked, pointing to the door the Doctor had locked. For a moment the orb did not move and Rose thought it couldn't understand her but then it whisked away to the door she pointed at. After a moment it turned back to her, somehow managing a sorrowful look. No luck then. "Is there another way out?" Rose demanded. The orb seemed to consider that for a moment and then it flew away, past Rose. She hurried after it.

The orb led her through the dark library, past stacks and binders, some of them lighting up as she ran passed. It stopped at a door, a touchpad next to it. Rose slammed her hand against it and the door slid opened. "I need to get to the surface," Rose told the orb. "Can you lead me out?" It gave her a silent nod and flew on.

As Rose ran desperately after the orb she could feel the Doctor getting further and further away from her. The faster she ran the further he seemed to get until suddenly it was like something yanked inside her. Rose stumbled to a halt, clutching her chest. Oh, blimey that hurt, she thought, struggling to breathe. He was gone. He was off the planet. Rose slammed her fist angrily against the wall next to her. Damn him!

The orb, having noticed she wasn't following came sailing back, stopping in front of her. Rose leaned her back against the wall, her breathing laboured as she stared at the dark ceiling overhead. He'd left her here. He'd gone off to unravel the very fabric of time and left her here.

Rose felt anger like fire burning in the pit of her stomach. She clung to it, fuelled it. Because if she didn't, fear would break her down. She couldn't think of the look she'd seen in the Doctor's eyes. Couldn't contemplate the depths of darkness he'd plummeted into. She knew it hadn't been a sudden drop. It had been a slow fall. And she'd failed to catch him and pull him back because he hadn't let her see. She knew he was afraid. She'd thought he'd been afraid of what River had said or what Fox and the Ood had told him about his song ending. But now she was scared that it was more than that. She was so scared. And she couldn't be scared. So she got angry instead. Focused not on the fear of what they might loose but on the fact that he'd left her. And if there was one thing Rose did not like it was being left behind.

Rose suddenly straightened. She stared at the orb.

"Annabelle," she said. "Can you find Annabelle Conn?" The orb just looked at her. "Show me the map," Rose told it. It did. Rose pointed to the spot where they had last seen Annabelle. CLab 43. Annabelle wouldn't have come here if she didn't have a way out. "Can you show me the way here?" Rose asked the orb. The map vanished and the orb took off again. Rose struggled for a moment to push the pain in her chest down to a manageable level. They weren't meant to be apart like this.

Rose ran after the orb. It lead her up again, through the dark, winding halls. She passed many doors. A part of her was curious to look inside but another feared what she might find. As far as she'd learned, Davros had a twisted mind. One to match or probably even surpass the Conn sisters. What was behind those doors might be far worse than anything she'd seen in the Basement at Torchwood.

The hallway turned, taking Rose to the door they'd seen Annabelle disappear through. CLab 43. There was the same kind of touchpad next it. Rose placed her hand against it and the door slid opened.

"You wait out here, ok," she told the orb, having no idea if it would even do as she said.

Rose stepped inside. It was a dark and ominous room. A laboratory. There were several gurneys with all manner of frightening looking equipment looming over them. And straps. Straps to tie someone down. There were tables overflowing with jars filled with strange liquids and things. Rose made her way over to look at some of the jars. If she wasn't mistaken there were embryos inside some of them. Twisted and misshapen. Other's held what looked like human hearts or other organs she did not recognise. Rose stumbled back disgusted at what she'd seen. She made her way further into the room, beyond the gurneys, trying not to see the hint of dried blood covering some of them. Whatever Davros or Annabelle had been doing down here she was fairly certain she never wanted to know what it was. If she ever did she'd probably have nightmares for months.

She passed big machines, rusted and old. She had no idea what they might be for. Some seemed to pump some kind of black liquid through pipes that ran along the walls. A movement out of the corner of Rose's eye made her stop. There was a big glass window, beyond it a container big enough to hold a human being. Rose walked closer to the glass. The container was open and at its base sat Annabelle, huddled on the floor holding on to someone. They sat in a pool of the black liquid that had been pumped through the pipes. Rose became absolutely still as she realised just who it was Annabelle was holding on to. It was her sister. It was Elsa Conn.

But that was impossible. Elsa Conn was dead. Rose had turned her to dust. Annabelle raised her gaze and looked straight at Rose.

"Agent Tyler," she said in that business - like tone of voice.

"That's why you came here then," Rose said, nodding towards Elsa. Annabelle had her sister wrapped up in her black coat. What Rose could see was drastically pale skin and rivulets of black running like veins down Elsa's throat.

"She's not really my sister," Annabelle said, looking down at the body in her lap, running her knuckles across Elsa's cheek. "You killed her."

"Then how...?" Rose trailed off.

"Your blood and tissue samples were not the only ones I brought with me from Torchwood."

"And what?" Rose asked. "Davros... cloned her for you?"

"He did," Annabelle confirmed, her eyes still on Elsa. "No one understand the intricacies of genetics quite like Davros did."

"Why?" Rose asked as she stared at the two sisters sitting in a pool of that black goo. Annabelle looked up, finally meeting Rose's gaze. She smiled, that horrid smile of hers. "So she could keep you alive," Rose realised. "That's why you wanted to escape the Shadow Proclamation despite their life support system. You had a backup."

"You don't think I just wanted my sister back?" Annabelle asked Rose curiously.

"I would like to think that," Rose said with a touch of sadness. "I would like to think that the reason you were never upset over her death is because you knew Davros could in some small part bring her back to you."

"But you wont," Annabelle concluded.

"I can't," Rose said. "Not after everything you've done."

"So where does that leave us, Agent Tyler?" Annabelle asked. Rose watched her for a moment.

"I need your help," Rose said.

Rose wouldn't have seen the surprise on Annabelle's face if she had not been looking for it.

"Isn't that interesting." Annabelle smiled and Rose wanted to take it back.

"You wouldn't have come here if you didn't have a way out," Rose said. "What is it?"

"And why would I tell you?" Annabelle asked.

"Because if you don't." Rose glared at her. "The universe is going to implode. Time as we know it will collapse."

Annabelle laughed, throaty and amused. "You are so dramatic, Agent Tyler."

"I'm not kidding," Rose told her sharply. "Do you understand the concept of fixed points?" Annabelle stopped laughing, but she kept her smile. Cold and unfeeling as it was. "Well, the Doctor is going to mess with one if I don't stop him."

"He wouldn't do that," Annabelle said. "He's a Time Lord, he if anyone is not allowed."

"Not allowed!" Rose laughed at the ridiculousness of that statement. "He is the last of his kind. There is no one left to tell him no!" The smile was slipping off Annabelle's face.

"Why would he do that?" Annabelle asked.

"Why do you think?!"

Annabelle looked up at Rose. She looked at her as so many people did. As though they could see it all on her face. All the answers written there.

"You," Annabelle said. "Why else does that fool do anything."

"Just tell me how to get out of here," Rose insisted. "And I'll stop him."

"What is he planning on doing?" Annabelle asked. "What fixed point is he altering?"

"The bond. He's undoing the bond, ok."

"But that will kill you, won't it?"

"I'm sure he's got that figured out," Rose said bitterly.

"He should have listened to me," Annabelle said, shaking her head. "You both should have."

"What Annabelle?" Rose asked with impatience. "What is it that you've been so eager to tell us?"

"I am just trying to...-"

"Help, yes," Rose finished for her. "So you say."

"How about this?" Annabelle asked. "I'll tell you how to get out of here. I'll even tell you what your Doctor refused to listen to. What you already know but obviously have decided to ignore and I'll ask for only one thing in return."

"Let me guess," Rose said. "I let you go."

"Me and Elsa," Annabelle confirmed.

"A deal with the devil." Rose watched as Annabelle smiled at her. It was the smile of the devil for sure. All twisted and dark. And Rose was supposed to let that loose in the world? Yet what option did she have?

"Clock's ticking, Agent Tyler," Annabelle urged.

"Fine," Rose ground out. "Do you need to shake on it?" Annabelle's smiled widened.

"Your word will suffice."

"Well, you have it."

"Splendid."

/

Rose ran through the halls, the vortex manipulator clutched tightly in her hand. The minute she got outside she strapped it to her wrist. It needed an activation code. Which is probably the only reason Annabelle had given it up. Because she didn't know it. But Rose did. Travelling with the Doctor you picked up a few useful things along the way. She punched in the code as the snow fell, the flakes getting caught in her hair and melting against the heat of her skin. The device lit up. Of course Rose had absolutely no idea where the Doctor had gone. He was far away. She could feel that. Painfully far away. But the bond would guide her. As long as she was tied to him she'd find him anywhere in time and space.

Rose closed her eyes and felt the horrible tug as the manipulator pulled her through. She was rushing forwards and tumbling down. All at the same time. Her feet suddenly hit solid ground. She hit it so hard she lost her balance, catching her hands against the tarmac. Because that was what was beneath her. She looked up just as the horn of a car rang in her ears. The car was hurtling straight for her. She had landed in the middle of the road. Rose rolled out of the way just as the car blew past her. She lay for a moment at the curb catching her breath. She rather felt a bit like throwing up. Travelling with that vortex manipulator really was a bloody horror.

"Hey, you alright there, luv?" Rose looked up into the face of an unknown woman, leaning over her. "Shall I call an ambulance?" Rose shook her head and struggled to her feet.

"No, no, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Rose brushed dirt off her coat. She pushed the hood off her head and looked around. She was in London. Her London. In the afternoon by the looks of it. The woman who had asked if she was ok had turned to leave. "Hang on!" Rose called after her and she turned back around.

"What year is it?" Rose asked. The woman looked at her as though she might be insane or drunk.

"2005," she replied hesitantly. "March. Did you hit your head?" she asked.

"Yeah, something like that." Rose mumbled a thank you to the woman before taking off. She could feel the Doctor. He was close. Her chest didn't hurt as badly as it had done. He was here. In this time. On this planet.

She tried to focus on the connection, letting it guide her. She ran through the familiar London streets. Then she stopped dead. She was standing across the street from Henrik's were she used to work before the Doctor blew it up. That's were she'd met him. In the basement. That's where it had all started. What was he doing here? He couldn't think to... Rose's thought trailed off because she wasn't sure she could even bear to finish it. If the Doctor changed something here it could mean she would never meet him. But he wouldn't do that. She couldn't believe he would do that.

That's when she saw him. He was standing in front of her to the right, staring up at the store. He was still in his regular coat, but the shoulders looked wet as though he'd walked through rain or snow. But it was hours since he'd left her in Davros's lair and there was no rain in the air, the streets were dry.

He moved and Rose ran over, getting in front of him just as he was about to cross the street. She held up her hand to his chest, stopping him dead. He stared at her as though he thought she was a ghost. He must have been too distracted to feel her coming.

"Stop," she told him. "Doctor, stop."

She could practically see the cogs spinning inside his head as he tried to grasp how she was there.

"Rose?" he breathed in disbelief.

"Stop," she told him again. She watched as his shock at discovering her there vanished beneath his resolution.

"No," he answered her simply. "There is something I need to do."

"No, you don't," Rose told him sharply. "The only thing you need to do is come back to the TARDIS with me."

"I can't. I need to fix this," he said, stepping away from her.

"You're not fixing anything," Rose moved in front of him. "You are breaking it."

"This will work," he insisted, trying to get past her without forcibly removing her.

"No it won't!" Rose almost yelled at him, angry that he wasn't listening. He stopped. Several people on the street did too."Anything you do here, Doctor," Rose said ignoring the stares they were getting. "If you... if you mess this up and we never meet. Right here. Right now. When we are supposed to you aren't just unraveling a fixed point, Doctor." She reached out and clasped his hand, winding her fingers with his. She felt the bond flaring up between them. She needed that connection alive. Anything to help convince him. She saw his eyelids flutter a little at the contact and felt as the sensation of her touch ran through his body. "You save entire worlds," she told him. "But who do you think saves you?"

"What?" he looked down at her.

"We do," Rose told him. "Us, the people you choose to travel with you. We save you so you can save everyone else."

"Is that what you think you are doing right now?" he asked her. "You are wrong." He tore free from her hold and walked passed her. Rose spun, reaching for him but missed. She hurried after him across the street towards the store.

She managed to grab him seconds before he would have disappeared inside. He spun. She knew people were looking but she didn't care. The Doctor glared down at her. Rose wasn't entirely sure she could keep him there. She'd never truly tested her strength against his. She knew he was strong, he could easily pick her up and carry her after all but she had some training on her side. Courtesy of Torchwood.

"Let go," he told her. "Now." She felt his muscles flex under her hand. She needed to be quick.

"Sorry, Doctor but I can't do that." She raised her hand. She quickly pressed the buttons on the vortex manipulator.

"No don't!" he objected angrily right before they vanished.

They reappeared a few blocks away, right next to the TARDIS. Thanks to certain Huon particles Rose could apparently find that too. Rose was more prepared for the trip this time and managed to stay on her feet. But the Doctor wasn't. He crashed against the TARDIS, catching himself just in time to prevent a fall. It gave Rose enough time to open the TARDIS door and drag him inside. He caught himself against the railing and Rose locked the door behind her. He spun around, glaring furiously at her. He went for the door but Rose got in his way. He clasper her shoulders, hard.

"Out of my way," he growled. She pushed him off her.

"No!" She screamed in his face, unable to hold back her anger and her fear any longer. "If you ever loved me at all you will stop!"

"It's because I love you that I do this," he spat. "I'm giving us both a chance."

"No, you're destroying everything. You don't alter fixed points, Doctor! Time will collapse, you know that!"

"I don't care!" he screamed. "Don't you see, Rose! I can't care! About anything! Only you!"

"This isn't caring about me!" Rose screamed back at him. "You thick- head!"

"What?"

"You can't break time and claim it's for me when you know that is the last thing I'd want!"

"You don't understand!" he told her. "I am going to die!"

They both fell silent at that, staring at each other. Rose took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves, her fluttering heart, the pain tearing it's way through her chest at the thought of loosing him.

"You are a Time Lord," Rose said, struggling to find sensible ground. "You will regenerate." The thought of him regenerating sent a whole new current of fear through her veins. She'd been through that before and she knew it wasn't only his face that changed.

"Not if it happens quickly," he said. "Not if there's no time."

"You said you didn't believe it," she pointed out. "You told me you wouldn't."

"I didn't wan't to believe it," he said. "I don't want to. The thought of it terrifies me. Rose I can't...-" She took a step towards him, drawn by the fear in his voice.

"This isn't the solution," she tried to tell him. But he shook his head.

"Whatever I do I loose," he said. "This is my only course of action and nothing you can say can deter me. I'm sorry Rose. You are going to have to trust that this is the only thing I can do."

"No," she shook her head. "I won't let you. You are not a god, Doctor."

His eyes darkened. Whatever light might've crept into them evaporated.

"That is not for you to decide," he said. "It is for me to decide."

The Doctor grabbed her arm roughly.

"Now, move," he told her. Rose fought against him as he dragged her away from the door. She managed to twist out of his grip. But he captured her wrists before she had chance to so much as give him a well deserved slap. She growled in frustration as he held her too tightly. "You don't know what's at stake," he told her harshly, pushing her away. He did it with such force that she stumbled and fell on the grated floor. She caught a hint of regret in his eyes before he turned away and headed for the door. Rose gave his back a glare before she scrambled to her feet and ran for the console. She pulled the lever, the whining sound of the TARDIS calling through the room as the time-rotor began moving.

The Doctor didn't manage to open the door before she sent the TARDIS into flight. He twirled around, an absolutely furious look on his face.

"Rose!" he growled and ran for her. She scurried away from him, pressing buttons as she went. "Stop it!" he called after her.

"You shouldn't have taught me how to fly," Rose told him. He pulled levers and pressed buttons, trying to undo what she'd done. Rose stepped back from the console.

"What did you do?!" he barked as the TARDIS wound down until she'd once again turned quiet. They'd landed.

"No idea," Rose said, her voice shaking a little. It was rare that she saw him this angry. In fact she wasn't sure she ever had.

"Damn you!" the Doctor screamed and kicked the console. He clutched the edge of it. "You have no idea what you've done, you ignorant child!"

Rose held on to the railing behind her to help her stay on her feet. She was trying hard not to let his words hurt. But they could cut as sharp as any knife.

"I stopped you from making a terrible mistake," she said, her voice still not steady.

"You've destroyed us," he said. "That's what you've done." He sounded so broken, his voice nothing but a whisper in the dark.

"Better us than the whole universe," Rose said, holding firm to her decision. She'd done the right thing.

"I don't care about the bloody universe!" he screamed and turned on her. Rose jumped at the angry sound of his voice, the way it echoed against the walls. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn't going to back down. No matter how angry he was. She'd done the right thing.

"Yes, you do," she said, her quiet tone so at odds to his shouting. "It's why I had to stop you because you do care. You care so much. Maybe too much."

She opened her eyes and they met his. She saw all his anger in them. They burned with it. But it was like flames heating glass until it cracked. She could see the shards as they splintered and fell.

"Is this what you'd have me do then?" he asked hopelessly as he stared at her. She didn't know how to reply to that so she said nothing. "We are here you see," he said, indicating the console with a flick of his hand. "Right where we're supposed to be. Only you could manage that without even trying."

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked.

"Well," he said, getting that tone of voice that meant he was hiding pain he couldn't bear to show. There was little point in him hiding it now so Rose imagined he did it more for himself than for her. "I went to see the Ood," he said. "They had something to tell me."

"What did they say?"

"The Master's back."

"The Master? But he died. You told me that his wife shot him and he died in you arms."

"He did and now he is back."

"To do what?"

"End time itself, it seems. I could have prevented all that."

"By what?" Rose asked him. "By ending it yourself?" He walked over to her.

"Better than what is to come," he told her, condemnation in his eyes. Rose swallowed hard as he turned from her and walked towards the TARDIS doors. He used the sonic to get them opened. "Well, are you coming?" He glanced back at Rose. "It's time to face the music."

Rose moved on unsteady legs. It felt like the very floor beneath her feet was shifting. She stopped at the top of the ramp.

"Second thoughts?" he asked, a mocking in his tone. She raised her gaze and the Doctor froze. Rose realised there were tears in her eyes.

"You can't die," Rose said. "You can't. I..."

"It's too late now," the Doctor said, his voice a little softer. "We've landed. We've past the event horizon. No turning back now."

"Well, I won't let you." Rose raised her chin and stared defiantly down at him.

"It won't be up to you," he said and walked out the door.

Rose brushed her tears away. She wouldn't second guess her choices. She wouldn't. She had to stop him. And he wasn't going to die. She'd meant it. She wouldn't let him.

Rose followed him out, looking around. They were right were they'd been before. Everything looked about the same. Same ordinary street. But the day had turned cloudy. It looked like it might snow.

"It's a few years later," the Doctor said. "You moved us in time but not space."

"And the Master is here?" Rose asked.

"He's here. I can feel him."

"What...?" Rose trailed off, walking to stand beside him, both looking at the people hurrying to something or running from something else. Home from work, to the gym, some late shopping or out to meet friends. Ordinary lives with ordinary troubles. Money, family, careers. But many of them, maybe more than one might think had the capacity to be extraordinary. Sometimes it just took someone equally special to see it. "What if we just ran?" Rose asked. "We got a time machine after all. We could run for a lifetime and still be back for tea."

"We are part of events now," the Doctor said. "Which means that if we leave. No matter where we run the clock will keep ticking and these people will die. All of them. Do you want that?" he asked, turning his head to look at her. Rose shook her head.

The Doctor put his hands in his trouser pockets and Rose took a hasty breath.

"How are we going to find him then?" she asked.

"I think we should figure out what is going on first," the Doctor said.

"And how do we do that?"

"We ask the locals, of course," he said over his shoulder as he strode off.

Rose followed with a heavy heart. Heavier than she'd ever felt. It was the weight of what she might have done. The Doctor had chosen to break the universe rather than risk loosing her but what had she done? She'd stopped him. She'd taken him here. To this moment. The moment of his death. Ever since he'd taken her hand in that basement and told her to run. Ever since that day she'd been leading him down this path, to this end. The end of his time...


	44. Chapter 44 - Only a matter of time

**I'm so sorry this has taken me so very long to post. School has been ruling my life lately. Plus, we are coming up on the end of this part and I suppose I'm just not quite ready yet so I might have in all honesty been postponing it a bit. Sorry, so sorry.**

 **But thanks to everyone who's pm'd me to check that I'm still alive and all. You guys are so sweet! Now I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I'll try my outmost to get the last chapters up in an orderly fashion. :)**

Chapter 44 - Only a matter of time

"Over there," the Doctor said, pointing to a table in the back. They were standing inside a pub a bit of Leicester square. It was early so it wasn't packed yet. The Doctor headed off towards the table he had indicated. It was occupied by a group of women. He sat himself down in an empty chair opposite a redhead who went very still as she saw him. Everyone around the table turned in surprise to look at this strange man who'd decided to join them out of nowhere.

"Who are you then?" a blonde girl asked, eyeing him up and down. "I've met you, haven't I?"

"Old friend of Donna's," he said, his eyes on the redhead. Rose was standing behind her so she couldn't see her face.

"Not too good of a friend, I hope," the blonde girl said with a smile. "Now that she's got Shaun."

"Oh, just button it Nerys." The very distinctive sound of Donna Noble's voice couldn't help but tug a little at Rose's lips. Nerys rose from the table with an offended air.

"I'm going for another drink, anyone care to join me?" she asked of the other girls. A few of them looked to Donna first who gave them a nod that it was ok to leave. The girls left the table, some of their gazes lingering curiously on the Doctor as they did.

"Where's Rose?" Donna asked, cutting the Doctor off before he had a chance to say anything. "Don't tell me you lost her again. 'Cus I bloody swear if you...-" The Doctor interrupted her by clearing his throat and nodding in Rose's direction. Donna turned in her seat. She breathed an obvious sigh of relief as she spotted her. Donna got to her feet and pulled Rose in for a hug. Rose thought she might never have been so thankful for one in her entire life. The two girls pulled apart.

"Come on," the Doctor said. "Let's all sit down. Have a pint."

"Since when do you drink?" Rose asked, looking at him.

"Gonna die, figure I can might as well," he said. Rose felt a stab of cold hard pain lash through her gut at that. Donna turned to the Doctor.

"Whaat?" she asked.

"I'll get your drink," Rose mumbled and left them.

The Doctor watched her go. He tried not to. He was furious with her. Furious and heartbroken and scared. But wherever she went he'd follow. Always.

"Doctor..." He forced his gaze back to Donna. There was something about her, he thought. He had not known her long or well but he trusted her all the same. She was easy for him to talk to. The way she looked at him, as though there was nothing he could ever say or do that could make her hate him.

"I'm going to die," he said. He felt as though maybe the more he said it the less it would terrify him. But so far it hadn't worked.

"No you're not," Donna said, looking at him as though she thought it was a joke but couldn't find the humour in it. The Doctor nodded. "But you don't die," she said. "You do that face changing thing. Jack told me."

"Not if there isn't time," he said. "Then I'd just be dead. And besides, even if I do regenerate it feels like dying. Everything I am dies." His gaze had slid from Donna's to fasten on Rose where she stood in the bar, waiting to be served. "If she's... If I..." His voice faltered. He took a breath. "Would she even still want me?"

He could hear the fractured fear in his own voice and hated himself a little for it. He even hated her a little for it. Donna reached out to clasp his hand as it lay on the table, cold and lifeless. Her touch was warm, comforting. No explosion of sensation, no mind- numbing euphoria. Just comfort. It was nice. He rubbed his other hand across his eyes.

"Nothing you can ever do would stop that girl loving you, Doctor," Donna told him.

"It probably won't matter anyway." His voice had turned as dark and bitter as his thoughts. He pulled his hand out from under Donna's, leaning back in his seat and drawing in a hasty breath through his nose. "So," he said, changing the subject before he broke down right then and there. "Any weird dreams lately?"

Donna's eyes narrowed on his. "And how would you know that?" she asked.

"I've been told," he said cryptically. "Remember what they're about?" Donna shook her head.

"Just a face," she said hesitantly. "Laughing. Horrible laughing. I don't..." she trailed off. "I'm not the only one who has them though. Everyone seems to. Even Nerys," Donna remarked with a roll of her eyes.

"Are they bad..?" Rose asked as she sat down at the table. The Doctor tensed up. He'd been too distracted to feel her coming. "...these dreams?" Rose pushed a pint of beer towards the Doctor. He stared down at it. He didn't want it. It was only something stupid he'd said.

"They are," Donna confirmed. "I can't really explain why. It's just a feeling. Like something's coming. Something really bad."

Rose glanced over at the Doctor, seeing he wasn't touching his drink.

"Not thirsty?" she asked him. He pushed the glass away and looked up at them.

"It's the Master. You're dreaming of the Master," he said to Donna.

"Who is he?" she asked.

"A Time Lord."

"A dead one," Rose added. "Or he's supposed to be."

"Do your remember Harold Saxon?" the Doctor asked Donna.

"Our Prime Minister who went mad and died, who can forget him?"

"That's the Master," the Doctor said. "That's who you've been dreaming about." Donna looked from the Doctor to Rose and back again.

"You've got to be kidding," she said. "We had an alien for a Prime Minister?"

"Eh, yeah," the Doctor confirmed.

"But only for a bit," Rose chimed in.

"Well, actually it was for a whole year but it sorta never happened 'cus this...-"

"Doctor," Rose cut him off.

"Yeah, right never mind," he said, realising he was getting off track. "Donna." He turned to her. "I need to find him. The Master, Harold Saxon. Have you heard anything? Is there anything you can tell me?"

"I dunno," Donna said, shaking her head. "I suppose I don't pay attention. Always missing things, that's me," she said.

"No, that's not you," the Doctor immediately refuted. "You're the one who set us on the right path before. Without you we never would have found our way to the Medusa Cascade. Without you Davros would have won."

"Don't be so daft," Donna said. "I'm nothing important."

"Oh, but you are," Rose said. "Don't ever think you're not."

"Just think," the Doctor insisted. "Anything at all? Anything strange? Or... I dunno... alien?"

"Well..." Donna began hesitantly.

"Yes?" the Doctor urged.

"There was this meteor that fell, like a week ago maybe. Near that old mental hospital. You know that one up on the hill," she said, looking at Rose. Rose nodded knowingly. "Then a couple of days later they shut it down. The hospital. Said it had been in talks for years."

"Why is that strange?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, no patients were released you see," Donna explained. "They just boarded up the windows and shut it down."

"I suppose that's odd," the Doctor admitted. "But nothing about it points directly to the Master though. Unless the meteor..." he trailed off thoughtfully.

"Donna," Rose said. "Can I have a look at your phone?" Donna handed her mobile over.

Rose's fingers ran rapidly over the keys.

"Here," she said as she found what she was looking for. "The Broadfell Hospital, it's where they put her."

"Put who?" Donna asked. Rose looked up, meeting the Doctor's gaze.

"Lucy Saxon. The Master's wife." The Doctor straightened in his seat.

"That's it then," he said. "That's the connection."

"Oh right, he was married," Donna mused. "Can Time Lords get married to humans?" she asked as though this thought had suddenly struck her. The Doctor became absolutely still. Rose's gaze dropped to her fingers. "I'd thought there'd be some kinda law against that. Galactic Interracial mixing or something?" The Doctor cleared his throat awkwardly and rubbed at his eye with one slim finger, silently begging for her to stop.

Donna looked back and forth between them, her blunder slowly dawning on her. She was just about to open her mouth when the Doctor beat her to it, thinking it was better to just answer the question.

"Back in the day it would have needed council approval," he told Donna. "But since there is no more council. No more Gallifrey. Then, no. Now we can galavant around the place and marry whoever we please as many times as we like. Twice even, if we didn't get it right the first time."

The Doctor caught a glimpse of the hurt in Rose's eyes and he knew he'd put it there. But who was he really trying to punish? Him or her?

Rose accidentally kicked the table as she got to her feet. It tipped over the pint she'd bought for him, spilling the honey liquid. The Doctor shot to his feet as some dripped into his lap. A long forgotten curse word fell of his lips as Rose turned her back on them and walked away without a word.

"Nice going you dumbo," Donna told him.

"I'm not the one who upended the bloody table," he said, gesticulating at it.

"Oh, I was not talking about the table, sunshine," Donna said. The Doctor tore his eyes away from Rose's retreating back. Donna did not look pleased.

"What?" he asked her.

"What?" Donna echoed him as though he was an idiot. "What are you doing?" The Doctor brushed beer foam off his trousers.

"Trying to fix a mess," he said, indicating his pants.

"Looks like you're making it worse and not better," Donna told him. He looked back up at her through the fringes of his hair. Donna was staring him down. "What did she do that you think she deserves this from you?" she asked. "That girl..," Donna pointed in the direction Rose had disappeared. "...loves you. You!" She said, running her hand up and down to indicate him and sounding as though she couldn't for the life of her understand how Rose could ever do such a mad thing as love him. "You, with all your skinny suits and alien box and... What is with your hair anyway?" she asked. The Doctor's hands immediately went to his head. "How do you even get it to stand up like that?"

"Just sorta happens," he said forlornly, trying and failing to smother it down.

"Yeah, sure it does," Donna agreed with sarcasm. "After five pounds of some alien space gel."

"Oi, " he told her. "I get it, alright, you don't like me. No need to rub it in."

"I didn't say that," Donna said. His eyes narrowed on her where she sat. Wasn't that exactly what she'd been saying? "I don't fancy you," Donna said. "But I like you just fine. In fact for some strange reason I feel like you might be the best friend I've ever had. Which is why I am being blunt."

"Like a cricket bat," he confirmed. Donna gave him a look and he immediately shut up.

"You can't keep her forever," Donna said. "So I suggest you don't waste the time you do get, alright?" The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. "I doubt there will be another one like her."

Well, she was right about that. There would never again be another one like Rose. Not for him. She was it.

"I just..." the Doctor began, not quite sure how to pick words that could make Donna understand. He was silent for a long time. "I'm just so scared," he finally said, dragged shaking fingers down his face. "All the time." He shook his head, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets, clenching them into fists in an attempt to stop them shaking.

"Of what?"

"Loosing her. Hurting her."

"Don't be stupid, you'd never hurt Rose," Donna told him.

"Not deliberately, of course not. But the choices I've made they might. I tried to prevent it but she stopped me." He looked at his shoes. "Stopped me from possibly unraveling all of time actually and I know I should be grateful that she did but I'm not. I'm so damn mad at her."

"But Doctor, you need her to do that. I'm sorry, but I told you this before. Sometimes you need someone to stop you."

"I know," he agreed. "But... this time she has no idea what she did when she stopped me. She has no idea what she sacrificed."

Donna simply looked at him without speaking for a long time until the point that it was making him rather uncomfortable. He glanced up at her. Donna sat with her arms folded across her chest, glaring at him. It was like having an older sibling trying to reprimand you for something you'd done when your parents weren't home.

"I swear..." Donna began. "...that it's like riding in a carousel with the pair of you. You just go round and round." She leaned forward in her seat. "If she doesn't know than maybe you should talk to her about it?" Donna held up hand to stop him as he opened his mouth to reply. "I know it's a radical concept for you but do you remember how well it went last time you tried to hide something from her?" Donna said. "She's strong. You have to trust that she can handle the truth no matter how bad it might be."

"It's not her that's the problem," the Doctor said quietly. "It's me."

"You?"

"Yes. I am the one who can't face it." His gaze fell to his shoes. "My greatest sin."

"Which is what?" Donna asked. He didn't say anything for a long time. "Doctor?" Could he do it? Could he put a voice to it? Make it real? Could he bear that?

The Doctor looked up at Donna, his face hard, his jaw clenched tight. Hard because it had to be. Hard because other vice she'd see him fall apart. He said nothing. But whatever Donna read in his expression however it hurt her. He could see the way her eyes got shiny with tears, the way her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. Perhaps she'd guessed it, he thought. Rose had always said that Donna was a lot more perceptive than she let on. She got out of her seat and came over to him. He shuffled a little uncomfortably.

"Doctor...?"

"She'll die with me," he blurted out. As the words fell from his lips, he felt as though his insides fractured into pieces. Jagged, hard pieces. This was his last and final sin. The one thing that had coloured every action he'd taken since new years. Since the Ood's first prediction of his song ending. How he hadn't believed them. Not until he'd held Rose, burned and dying in his arms. Then it had become real. With every scream that echoed through the TARDIS halls it had pounded its way into his bones. His song was ending. He was going to die and Rose would die with him.

The Doctor forced himself to meet Donna's eyes. He feared he'd find hate in them or revulsion or at least anger but all he saw was the kindest sense of understanding. Her lips parted as though she was going to say something but no sound left them. She reached out towards him but he backed up a step, feeling unworthy of letting her comfort him.

"I wasn't sure," he said, his gaze falling to the floor. "But we found old records. They... they used it as a punishment. As a form of... execution." He could barely bring himself to speak the words. To think that his own people could be so cruel. "Pain of Severance they called it. The council of Time Lords. They killed one and..." He drew in a shaky breath but it seemed to do nothing. He still felt as though he couldn't breathe. "...and let the other die from the loss."

"Severing that bond thing?" Donna asked. He nodded.

"I've been trying to... to not be too close to her. I mean we haven't..." he stuttered into silence. "I hoped it might help. If we didn't let the bond get too strong. That maybe she would be alright."

"Will she?"

"I don't know. She's human. I can't know anything for sure."

"But you don't think she can survive it?" Donna asked, her voice so soft and careful. The Doctor shook his head. He was shaking all over.

"I love her," he said. "I love her more than life, more than I value right or wrong, more than honour or justice. I even love her more than I hate myself for what I've done to her. What I've condemned her to." He raised his head and looked at Donna. "I'd do it again," he said with an honesty crips and clear as fresh fallen snow. "I can't exist without her."

"Doctor..." Donna trailed off, sorrow in every line of her face.

"I always feared the love I felt for her would one day destroy her. And now it will. It was only a matter of time."

"No." Donna shook her head. "This can't be a tragedy," she said. "It just can't be."

"My whole life is a tragedy, Donna," he reminded her. "All of it." He struggled to take another shuddering breath. "But if it wasn't for the fact that she will suffer for it, it would have been worth it. Any time I'd get with her would have been worth it."

"Don't you think she feels the same?" Donna suggested. But the Doctor shook his head.

"She's young. She has her whole life ahead of her. It shouldn't have to end like this." Donna reached out and clasped his hand but he immediately pulled back.

"I better go..." he said. "Go find Rose before she wanders off." He pointed his thumb in the direction Rose had gone. "She does that." Donna snivelled and nodded and the Doctor walked away before Donna's understanding eyes drew more fear filled truth's from him that he couldn't bear.

The Doctor would probably have run away if it wasn't for the group of Donna's friends that were just then returning to the table. He almost knocked one of them over in his haste.

"Sorry," he mumbled. The girl took a moment to steady herself, telling him it was nothing. She said something else as well. Some offer about him joining them but he wasn't listening.

The Doctor hurried out of the pub. Once outside he gratefully dragged in a lungful of cold December air. He still couldn't believe he'd done it. That he'd actually said it out loud. The bond he'd forged between himself and Rose was not meant to be broken. One should never have to live without the other. But this was different. Rose hadn't chosen this. He'd forced it upon her. It truly had been the most selfish act of his entire life.

As he glanced around he saw he was standing in a bit of an alley. He saw Rose to his left at the mouth of it. Beyond her were lights and people, sharpening her silhouette. Twilight clung to the horizon, lingering around the streetlights. He could taste snow on the air but none had fallen yet. He could stand there and watch her forever, he thought. Just the way her hair moved in the breeze.

The Doctor put his hands in his coat pockets to protect them from the cold and sauntered over to Rose. She stood with her arms wrapped around herself, watching the people passing by as though she was a creature from another world. Like she was simply longing to belong.

He went to stand next to her. She didn't move a muscle as he did. He wasn't sure if she simply hadn't noticed him or if she'd just felt him coming long before he reached her.

"Feels like it might snow," he said because he had no idea what else to say. He could never say to her what he'd confessed to Donna. Even now the conversation was being pushed to the back of his mind. The memory blurring at the edges. Even though he'd admitted out loud to the truth he feared he did not have the strength to bear it. He simply couldn't do it. He'd fall under the weight of it. Fall weeping and broken to the ground, begging for a forgiveness he knew he did not deserve.

The chill wind caught a strand of blonde hair that Rose impatiently brushed out of her face. She didn't reply. The Doctor kicked some pebble with his shoe. "I'm sorry for what I said." He watched as the pebble skidded across the ground. "If it helps I think I was trying to punish myself more than you."

"I did the right thing," Rose said after a while. "I did."

"You don't understand yet what you did," the Doctor told her sadly. Something like laughter fell of her lips, cold and bitter.

"You think I don't?" she said, her eyes still on the street in front of them and his still on the ground. "You tell me you are going to die here. That I brought you to your death. And every cell in my body rebels at the very thought of it."

"Then why didn't you trust me?" he interrupted her.

"Trust you? You locked me in a basement," Rose pointed out, her eyes still on the people passing by. They were awash in colour from the store lights and streetlights. But the light and colour didn't quite seem to reach the Doctor and Rose.

"Because I knew I couldn't make you understand," he said, his eyes on her profile.

"No, because you knew what you were doing was wrong," Rose told him sharply. "You can't just go about collapsing all of time, Doctor."

"You don't know if that would have happened. Sometimes it works itself out."

"Yeah? Well you didn't know that!"

"At least there was a chance," he insisted. "However this ends now, here it won't be good, Rose. You have no understanding of what you did."

"Then explain it to me!" The wind kept blowing Rose's hair into her face and she kept impatiently pushing it away. "Tell me what has you so damn scared, Doctor. Because I thought it was about what River said but it can't be all of it because you've been this way ever since New Years, long before we even met River."

The Doctor had made a promise once. A long time ago. A promise to himself. The name he'd chosen was a reminder of that. The Doctor. Never cruel nor cowardly. But at that moment he found he could be nothing but a coward. Because how could he tell her? How could he stand there and own up to it?

The answer was he couldn't He'd deny it for as long as possible. Convince himself his fears were wrong. Blame it on something else because however painful it might be it was still somehow better.

"Doctor." Rose's insistent voice made his eyes focus, sharpening his mind to point. "What are you so afraid of?"

"Dying," he said. "I don't want to die." A lie wrapped up in a truth. He watched as most of the blood drained out of Rose's face.

"You can't die," she said. Despite the obvious strength and conviction behind her words her voice still trembled ever so slightly. "I can't let you. I won't."

The Doctor couldn't help but smile a little at that. Fate and prophecy meant nothing to Rose Tyler. Sometimes he wondered if her conviction alone had the power to rent his fate asunder. Rose didn't believe in prophecies. She never had. She made her own fate. Her own destiny. No prearranged sequence of events ruled her life. And he loved her for that.

"Sounds good," the Doctor said after a long moment of silence. Having Rose Tyler fight for his life was after all no small thing.

"I mean it." She finally turned towards him and he raised his gaze to hers. Her face was as pale as the snow that had yet to fall, colour seemed to have been washed out of her hair by the twilight. She looked like one of the angel statues in a graveyard. Not the weeping kind but the real ones. The ones someone had carved out of stone. Beautiful and sad but strong enough to stand the test of time. It would take many a bitter winds to chip away at her beauty.

His hand twitched, wanting to reach out and touch her. Feel the warmth of her skin and know it wasn't stone. But he didn't. How could he when everything was so close to the surface?

"We'll find a way out of this," Rose said. "We always do." He nodded. They did. Even when everything was stacked up against them they always found a way. But as Rose had often reminded him lately, everything has its time and everything ends. Even them.

"Don't look so sad," Rose said suddenly, a hitch in her voice. "Please, don't." He smiled a little at her, but he knew it was a sad smile because tears welled up in her eyes, just like Donna's had. What was it they saw in him that could hurt them so? Was his pain and fear that obvious?

"It's because we love you," Rose said, startling him. He supposed he was the one that had projected his thoughts this time. "You are so much more than that wonderful blue box and all of time and space, you know. So much more. You are loved," she said.

He felt his hearts clench inside his chest. Loved. He was loved. After all he had somehow managed to become the man whom Donna Noble actually thought as her best friend. The man who'd earned the admiration and respect of a woman as brilliant and wonderful as Sarah Jane, who'd managed to show Martha Jones that true strength was not in a gun but in ones own heart. He'd even helped a conman find the way to bravery and self sacrifice for the good of others, he'd gained the grudging respect of one Jackie Tyler and above all he was the man Rose loved. And he wasn't remotely worthy of that love. He'd taken it and turned into something dangerous. Something so powerful it could obliterate everything in it's wake.

"Hey you two!" Both the Doctor and Rose turned around at the sound of Donna's voice. "Are we going to stop this Master bloke or what?" she asked. The Doctor stepped back from Rose not even realising he had moved towards her. Stop the Master. It is what Rose had essentially asked of him. He could do that. He could focus on that. Doing what she'd asked him to do. No more running. Donna walked towards them, pulling on her jacket as she did.

"Donna, what are you doing?' the Doctor asked.

"Coming with you o' course."

"You don't have to," Rose said, a bit of worry in her voice.

"Oh, I know that," Donna told them. "But if I leave this to you two he'll run off trying to be clever..." She pointed at the Doctor. He saw the slight hesitation in her eyes. "...and she'll have to rescue you and both of you will probably end up getting yourselves killed. Besides, how are you planning on getting there? Do either of you space-monkeys have a car?" She dangled car keys in front of them.

"I do have a ship that travels in both time and space," the Doctor pointed out to which Donna rolled her eyes.

"You gonna ride that thing up to the front door are you?" she asked. The Doctor knew he couldn't. He needed to keep the TARDIS as far away from the Master as possible.

"Fine, yes I s'pose we could use a lift," the Doctor conceded. Donna gave him a brilliant smile.

"Come on then," she said, leading the way down the street to her blue car.

The Doctor and Rose walked next to each other. He wanted to reach out and take her hand like he always did. But of course he did not.

They all piled in as they reached Donna's car. The two girls in the front and the Doctor in the back.

"Is it far, this hospital?" the Doctor asked as Donna started the car.

"Not very."

"Do we have any kind of plan?" Rose wondered aloud. The Doctor hung his elbows on either of the girls seats as he pondered that for a moment.

"We should probably scope the place out first, right?" Donna suggested. "Like surveillance kinda thing." Donna backed out of her parking space and they took off through the city. Rose fished Donna's phone out of her pocket.

"Hey that's mine," Donna exclaimed.

"Yeah, sorry," Rose muttered. "Meant to give it back."

"Who are you phoning?" the Doctor asked, just stopping himself from adding that everyone she knew was pretty much in a parallel world and she'd never see them again.

"Captain Jack," Rose said, putting the phone to her ear.

"Why?"

"He might know something," she pointed out. "And if he doesn't he might be able to figure it out." The Doctor turned to Donna as Rose waited for the call to connect.

"He's not really a captain," he told her. Donna rolled her eyes at this which almost made her hit a cyclist that appeared out of nowhere.

"Watch where you're going you twat!" Donna shouted, the cyclist retaliating with some rude hand gestures. "Bloody health freaks everywhere," Donna muttered, earning a shocked look from the Doctor.

But that initial shook soon turned into actual amusement. Donna shouted at everyone. Everyone and everything that got in her way and she had the audacity to complain about his driving. She drove like a car-thief.

"Yeah, so nothing else on Saxon then?" Rose asked into the phone, one finger pressed against her other ear in an effort to hear Jack's reply over Donna's frequent complaints about her fellow drivers.

"Ok. No thanks Jack. Yeah, of course we will," Rose assured him. She laughed at something Jack said on the other line. He could make her laugh, the Doctor thought. Once upon a time that was something the Doctor had been quite good at. No more. "You too," Rose said and hung up the phone.

"So what did our dear Captain Jack have to say?" the Doctor asked, trying to hide the tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"There have been rumours of a cult or movement or something."

"What kind of cult?" Donna was quick to ask.

"To resurrect the Master. Rumour has it Saxon set it up before he died. As a safety precaution in case you beat him." She glanced at the Doctor. He had beaten him but he had never wanted him to die.

"How come Captain Jack and his crack team didn't stop them?" he asked. "Or Unit, what have they been doing?"

"Jack says they only heard whispers, rumours. They could never pin any of it down. They were kinda starting to panic now with the nightmares. Jack said to tell you that they're all very glad you're here. They had begun to give up hope."

"Well," the Doctor said, drawing the word out. "Better late than never as they say."

They drove through London as night fell. By the time they reached the hospital the moon had risen in the sky, casting everything around them in shifting shades of blue. Donna stopped the car at a visitor's parking lot. From there it was a walk over to a gated entrance made of a big brick archway and iron bars. A sturdy wall ran around the entire compound. Everything was quiet. None of them could see any movement.

"I don't like this," Donna said.

"What's not to like?" the Doctor asked, sounding falsely cheerful. He peered out the window of the car, surveying the entrance to the hospital. "Full moon, mist sweeping along the jagged edges of the night and... is that a hound I hear howling on the moor?" Donna looked about ready to jump out of her skin but Rose was fighting not to smile.

"We're still practically in London, there are no moors, Doctor," she pointed out.

"You know just this once I'd like to have a good howling," he said.

"Need I remind you? Scotland 1879 there were plenty of howling going on."

"Ah, that's right!" He smiled as he remembered the werewolf and Queen Victoria. Everything had still been pretty new for him then. At least this body. But he and Rose had quickly fallen into a pleasant rhythm. One that had made him feel as though he'd known her all his life. Or perhaps that he'd simply been waiting for her all of his life. "We were knighted then," he said, fondly remembering the moment.

"You what?" Donna asked. The Doctor nodded.

"Yep. You are in fact addressing Sir Doctor of TARDIS and Dame Rose of the Powell Estate," the Doctor informed Donna.

"You are pulling my leg." Donna looked to Rose.

"It's true," Rose confirmed. "By Queen Victoria herself." Donna was looking from one to the other, clearly struggling to decide whether to believe this outlandish tale or not. "Hold on," Rose said, going very still as she stared past Donna. "I think I saw something." They all squinted into the darkness.

Rose pushed opened her door and got out of the car, the Doctor quickly following.

"What is it?" he asked. "What did you see?"

"I dunno," Rose answered distractedly. "Thought I saw something in the mist." Donna emerged from the car.

"Despite a lack of howling or moors," she said. "I still don't like this."

"Check it out, yeah?" Rose glanced at the Doctor.

"Yeah," he agreed as though this was no big thing. They both headed off towards the gate. Donna hesitated. "You should probably stay by the car," the Doctor told her over his shoulder. That immediately got her moving. Rose and the Doctor stopped at the big iron gates, Donna reaching them. "Thought I told you to stay," the Doctor said.

"You did?" Donna asked. "Guess I didn't hear you then." The Doctor smiled to himself as all three of them peered in between the bars. But whatever Rose might have seen it appeared to be gone now. The grounds were empty and the big stone building ahead seemed equally so. Its white stone facade was stained and the windows looked boarded up. No movement. No light.

The Doctor pulled the sonic out of his pocket and used it to open the gate. The hinges groaned in protest as he pulled it opened.

"What?" Donna hissed. "We're just gonna go barging in?" Rose followed the Doctor as they snuck inside.

"You're the one that suggested we scope the place out," Rose reminded her.

"I was thinking maybe from afar," Donna said as she scurried after them.

Donna pulled the gate shut behind them. There was a dirt road that snaked its way up to the main building. Large lawns stretched out on either sides, a few trees placed out along the grounds, devoid of leaves in the winter chill. The mist was thick, curling along the grass and clinging to the edges of the buildings further away.

"Come on," the Doctor said, urging them with him. They ran across the lawn. All of them expecting some monster to jump out of the mist and tear them to pieces. But they made it all the way to the main building with all limps intact. Everything was dead silent.

"I don't think anyone's home," Donna whispered.

"Only one way to find out," the Doctor said, holding up his sonic screwdriver and smiling in the dark.

He took off along the edge of the building. They needed to find a low point of entry. There were rectangular windows in line with the ground, just big enough to crawl through. He stopped at one, hunkering down and sonic-ing it opened. He stopped for a moment.

"There is still time to go back," he said, mostly to Donna because he knew whatever he did he wouldn't be able to get Rose to leave. But maybe he could save one of them.

"I'm not going back," Donna told him as though that was the daftest thing she'd ever heard. "I told you, you'll get yourselves killed without me."

"The Master he won't hesitate to kill you." the Doctor told her, needing her to understand what she was getting herself into. "He might do it just to hurt me or out of boredom or for no reason at all and I might not be able to stop him."

"What happens if he wins? If he succeeds in whatever it is he's doing?"

"I don't know, but I doubt the human race will survive it."

"Then how can I not go?" Donna asked him honestly. He watched her for a moment and then nodded. It would be her choice. He glanced at Rose and she gave him a small, little smile. An everything will be alright smile.

The Doctor crawled through the window first. He tumbled rather ungracefully to the floor but he was quickly back on his feet. Next was Donna. He held out his hands to help her. She managed a much better landing than he had. When Rose didn't immediately appear worry twisted in his gut.

"Rose!' he hissed. For a moment there was no response and he was about to climb back out again to get her when her head appeared in the opened window. "What were you doing?" he asked her, not sounding too kind about it.

"Nothing," she said. "Just thought I saw something."

"Again?" Donna asked. The Doctor got Rose under the pits of her arms and lifted her down to the floor.

"Yeah, something white and green, moving in the fog," Rose replied, turning away from the Doctor but his hand lingered at the small of her back. He was still angry at her. He was actually quite furious. She had done the right thing, he knew that. And he also knew that the consequences might have been too much for him to live with in the end and she had saved him from that. But what was a little guilt compared to the alternative?

His hand clenched into a fist before he withdrew it. The fluorescent lights in the ceiling flickered on as Donna found a light switch. Some of the lights gave up rather immediately and other's never even tried. But it was enough light that they could see. It was an old storage room. Rusted gurneys and cabinets filled with ancient equipment that were no longer in use.

"Cozy," Donna remarked as Rose crossed the room and opened the one door, peaking out.

"Looks clear," she said and disappeared. The Doctor ground his teeth in frustration and hurried after her, Donna tight on his heals.

They came out into another room. Stone floor, bare walls but it looked singed. Soot all over, like an explosion had gone off. In the centre of the room stood a pedestal with a bowl, the ash on the floor fanned out around it. The Doctor made his way over, peering into the bowl. There was what appeared to be a tissue and some kind of blue liquid. He got his sonic out of his pocket and scanned the bowl. A Time Lord's geometric signature and a concoction of ingredients that shouldn't be possible. Rose came up next to him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I think..." The Doctor reached into the bowl and picked up the tissue. He flipped it over. On the other side was a lipstick mark. "...this is what brought the Master back," he said.

"Someone wearing red lipstick?"

"Lucy Saxon," he said, holding up the tissue in front of his face and sniffing it. "She was his wife. She would have born his imprint. They would have needed that to complete this..." He tossed the tissue back into the bowl. "...madness."

"So they really did bring him back to life?" Rose asked. The Doctor looked around the room.

"Yes," he said slowly. "But it looks like something went wrong though."

"Looks like a bomb went off," Donna said.

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed.

Suddenly they heard footsteps and voices. All three of them froze. Listening as they came closer. The Doctor hurried over to the door leading out of the room and opened it and inch. He waved the girls over.

"Come on." They made their way out into a dark and narrow hallway. They hurried down it, away from the approaching voices as silently as they could. They practically threw themselves around a corner just as the voices of two men cleared.

"Did they find it?" one of them asked.

"No," the other answered. "It's still running around out there on the grounds somewhere. If you ask me we should just've shot them both outright." The Doctor felt anger stir. The mere mention of murder always made his skin crawl and his blood boil.

"They're still coming closer," Donna hissed at them. She was right. The voices were getting louder by the second.

The Doctor, Rose and Donna continued down the hallway. Small, rectangular windows up by the ceiling let the moonlight in, in beams of pale light. There wasn't much else in the way of illumination. Then they all stopped. More voices. But from in front of them.

"Oh, you've got be kidding," Donna muttered.

"In here." The Doctor indicated a door to their left. He pulled it open, revealing a cupboard just big enough to hold one bucket and mop. "You two get in," he said ushering Rose in first. He grabbed Donna and got her in. There was no way he'd fit in there with them. "Just stay quiet," he told them.

"What? No..." Rose was about to object.

"This isn't bloody Titanic," Donna told the Doctor as she grabbed his coat lapels and pulled him in with them. They got the door shut just in time but they were all squeezed so tightly together they were worse off then sardines.

"You're on my foot," Rose ground out.

"Sorry," the Doctor mumbled, trying to shift.

"Ouch," Donna complained as he accidentally knocked her in the chest with his elbow.

"Sorry." Rose shifted in front of him, her body brushing tightly against his. "Stay still," he told her.

"I can't breathe."

"Shut up, you two," Donna growled at them. "Listen."

The sound of the voices were receding until finally they couldn't hear them at all.

"Coast is probably clear," Donna whispered. Right. The Doctor turned, stepping on Rose's foot again or maybe it was Donna's. He tumbled out of the cupboard.

"Told you I heard something." The foreign male voice made the Doctor stop dead. He glanced to his right. Two men stood there, dressed in black gear. Neither of them looked like someone you messed with. The Doctor fell back against the door, quickly shutting it before they could see Donna or Rose.

"I think that this is the part where I tell you to take me to your leader," the Doctor said with a bit of glee. He loved saying that.

"Leader?" one of the men with a pair of startlingly blue eyes said. "No, this is where we shoot you," he said and raised a weapon, pointing it straight at the Doctor.

"I really wouldn't advice that," the Doctor told him, crossing one of his sneaker- covered feet across the other and putting his hands in his pockets, leaning casually back against the door.

"Yeah? And why's that?" the other man asked, he had a pair of thin scars over his bottom lip and down his chin.

"Well," the Doctor began. "When I said, leader I really meant, master." Both of the men blinked in surprise.

"Who are you?" Blue-eyes demanded. The Doctor pushed away from the door.

"An old friend," the Doctor said coolly. He needed to keep their focus on him. He needed to get them out of there without looking in that closet.

"We don't have any friends," Scars told the Doctor. The Doctor raised his eyebrows at that.

"Ah, though that is a rather sad view of your social life I didn't mean I was your friend."

"It's him," Blue-eyes said to Scars. "Gotta be."

"No, no way," Scars refuted.

"I'm afraid Blue-eyes is right," the Doctor told them. "I am him. He is me. And any other pronoun combination that might apply."

"You don't even know who we mean," Scars pointed out.

"Well, if you're so sure I'm not..," the Doctor said. "...shot me." And he turned and ran. It took half a second for the pair of them to chase after him.

The Doctor ran through more narrow hallways, both Blue-eyes and Scars hot on his heels. Neither of them were firing a single shot. He made his way up through the hospital, the thought of leading them as far away from Rose and Donna foremost in his mind. He pushed opened a door and stumbled out into a big entrance hall. By what he deduced from the layout of the building by the outside his bet was on the main one. There was a sort of reception area in the middle of the room. Two more guys sat there, both looking up as he burst in.

"Allo." He waved cheerily as he ran past them. They scrambled out of their seats. The Doctor reluctantly skidded to stop. Three more guards were coming towards him. He spun. The other four were closing in. Nowhere left to run. "Alright, you caught me." He raised his hands in a show of surrender.

"And how very easy it was."

The Doctor became absolutely still as he felt an array of mixed emotions at the sound of that voice. Dread, affection, hope, grief, sorrow. He turned slowly around. There he was, standing in a suit with a red tie just as the last time the Doctor had seen him. Like no time had passed at all. A part of the Doctor's hearts soared at the sight of him and the other part plummeted into depths of terror.

"You look surprised," the Master pointed out. It took the Doctor a moment to reply.

"Surprised no..." The Doctor swallowed hard. "Disappointed, yes."

"Disappointed?!" the Master exclaimed in disbelief. "Don't tell me you didn't miss me. Just a little." The Doctor said nothing, only clenched his jaw tight as he looked at the man who'd once been his friend. The Doctor remembered that time. When they'd been young on Gallifrey. He remembered it every time he looked at him. The memories should have been diluted over time. There was so much animosity and hate that had coloured their relationship over the years. Not to mention the fact that the Master was quite mad. But even though their relation to each other was broken and might never be mended those memories were as bright and clear as though they occurred only yesterday. And that hurt. "What's that?" the Master asked, cupping his hand around his ear. "No witty remark? Nothing?" He sighed dramatically. "Now I'm disappointed."

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked, ignoring the insult. "What are you planning?" The Master sauntered over.

"I suppose I could tell you but that would just be widely out of character, wouldn't it?"

"I promise that if it harms a single person on this planet I'll...-"

"You'll what?" the Master interrupted. "Kill me? Throw me into a black hole? Imprison me for all time?" He grinned. "Feels a bit familiar doesn't it? Think you've done that before. No points for originality for you, Doctor."

"What are you planning?" the Doctor repeated. "Tell me!"

The Master turned on the heel of his shoe.

"How about I just show you instead." He clapped his hands. "Bring him along!" he told the guards, walking away, almost a skip in his step. Scars and Blue-eyes came up to the Doctor.

"Move," Scars told him and shoved him forwards.

The Doctor went with them. After all, what else was he to do? He needed to know what was going on. And though the Master had many flaws luckily the need to show off was one of them. They walked through the hallways of the hospital. Occasionally there were guards walking the halls. Sometimes the Doctor thought he could hear banging or even screams. But he had no idea where they came from or if they were even screams at all and not just the wind howling in the night.

"Nice set up you got," the Doctor remarked. "Your own little guard patrol and everything." The Master spun, a smile on his face.

"It's nice isn't it?" he said while he walked backwards. "Disciples of Saxon."

"Your very own cult, lovely." The Doctor's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Fundamentalist were never a good thing. The Master turned back around. "How did you do it?" the Doctor asked. "How did you cheat death this time?"

"Just a bit of hocus pocus," the Master said.

"There is no such thing," the Doctor remarked.

"To these people there is," he said, indicating the guards around them. "To us perhaps I simply used a quantum regeneration solution to bind the remaining elements and restore the basic energy to its previous form." He fell back to walk next to the Doctor. "But to them..." he said in a hushed voice. "...I did magic." He giggled at this. "I am eternal, Doctor," he said, throwing up his hands. "I can never die."

Suddenly the Master's hands clenched into fists. He pulled them to his chest and groaned out as though in pain. The Doctor started as for just a second he saw the Master's skeletal structure flash by as though he had no skin or muscle.

"Hungry," the Master ground out between his teeth.

"What's wrong with you?" the Doctor asked with obvious dread.

"So hungry."

The Master lashed out at a nearby guard. The man flew into the wall as though the Master had the strength of ten men. He was on the man in a second. The Doctor stepped forwards, instinctively moving to save the guard. But the Master had consumed him in seconds. The Master had grabbed the man and had seemed to suck the very life and matter out of him until nothing remained but bone. He let the heap crumble to the floor.

The Master took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. Again his skeleton flashed grotesquely beneath his skin.

"Ah, better," he said.

"Better?" the Doctor asked as he stared at him. "You are burning up your own life force."

"Yeah," the Master agreed turning back towards the rest of them. "Resurrection went a bit wrong. We have my darling wife to thank for that."

"Lucy." The Doctor watched the Master for any hint of emotion. He did think the he had once cared for Lucy Saxon in his own twisted way after all. "What happened to her?" the Doctor asked.

"Died trying to kill me," the Master said and the Doctor thought he could hear the barest hint of something like pain in his voice. "But luckily we can see she failed." That was most likely why the room bellow had been scorched black.

The Master turned to the guards around them, all of them staring, all of them afraid. "His was a noble sacrifice," the Master told them, pointing at the heap of bones and cloth that was all that was left of the guard he'd consumed in a futile attempt to prolong his own existence. The Master was a time bomb waiting to explode. "And it shall not be forgotten," he said. He kept his face serious for a moment longer as he stared his guards down. Then he grinned again. "On we go," he said cheerily and continued down the hall.

They made their way up through the building. It was a state of the art hospital judging by what equipment the Doctor could glimpse on the way. Most of the walls were painted white and clinical but they past rooms that had colour and paintings on the walls. Common areas with comfortable chairs and boardgames left on the tables as though the players had just stood up and left in the middle of a game.

"Where are all the patients?" the Doctor asked.

"Some of them are still around," the Master replied uninterestedly. "I hear one is even out for a late night jog." He glanced back and gave the Doctor a wink over his shoulder. They came up to two big oak doors that the Master opened with a theatrical flourish. "Tada!" he announced.

The Doctor stopped in the doorway and had to be shoved inside by Blue-eyes and Scars. In the middle of the room was an arch. A mechanically built arch that was not of planet Earth. From it ran wires and cables hooked up to computers.

"Is that...?" the Doctor trailed off, pointing at the arch. "What is that?"

"Oh this?" the Master asked, taking a spin inside the arch. "Just some Vinvocci medical equipment that they misplaced."

"Vinvocci?" the Doctor asked, not sure he knew the species.

"You know, green, spikey things all over." At the Doctor's nonplussed expression the Master came over to him, placing his arm around the Doctor shoulders and turning him around. "Like that," he said pointing to small cell incased by glass and divided in two with a green skinned girl lying inside one of the sections. The girl looked up at them. She looked hopelessly exhausted. "Oh, but you know, this isn't the best part!" the Master exclaimed, taking off.

The Doctor's eyes lingered on the girl. He wanted to run over, burst that cell open, pull her out and tell her to run. But there was no way he was going to get there before someone stopped him. And it looked like there was some strange mechanism to the glass door.

"Doctor!" the Master's impatient voice drew his eyes from the green girl. "I am trying to show you something here," he said. The Doctor gave the Master his attention. Whatever it was that had gotten him this giddy it couldn't possibly be good.

The Master was holding something between his fingers. Something small and shiny. A diamond? The Doctor narrowed his eyes. What could be so special about a diamond? "Want a closer look?" the Master asked, smiling. He tossed the stone and the Doctor caught it. He opened his hand to see something he thought he'd never see again. A whitepoint star. He looked up at the Master.

"That's impossible," he told him, his voice marked by frail hope and fear. Because there was only one place in all the universe where such a stone could be found. Gallifrey. The Master was smiling.

"Fell from the sky," he said. "Only a few miles from here. On the very night I was brought back. It was meant for me."

"What do you mean, meant for you?" the Doctor asked.

"The drums, Doctor," the Master said, walking over to him. "Can't you hear them?"

"They were ever only our burden," the Doctor said solemnly.

"A burden? Or a gift?"

"Gift?"

The Master snatched to stone out of the Doctor's hands.

"The gift of purpose!" he declared, throwing his arms to the ceiling as though calling upon some higher power.

"What purpose?" the Doctor demanded to know, fear growing inside him, making his blood rush faster and faster through his veins, his heartbeats hammering away inside his chest. He couldn't dare to hope. And even if he did. If he dared it there would be a price. There was always a price."What purpose?!"

The Master's gaze fell from the ceiling, his arms lowering. "I'm bringing them back," he said. "I'm bringing the Time Lords back."


	45. Chapter 45 - It is returning

Chapter 45 - It is returning

Rose struggled against Donna's hold. The Doctor was out there, alone.

"Stop it," Donna hissed at her. "Who's gonna save his sorry Time Lord butt if we get caught to?" Rose pushed away from her in frustration. Damn it, Donna was right. Rose leaned back against the wall as she listened to the sound of the Doctor's voice. He seemed to be speaking to two other men. Then before long they heard all of them take off. Rose immediately went for the door. But Donna managed to get in her way.

"Wait," she urged. Rose managed to stop herself from shoving Donna away. Every instinct told her to go after the Doctor. They waited a good long while. Until Rose ran out patience and pushed opened the door, stepping out of the cupboard. The hallway was empty.

"Told you we'd have to rescue him," Donna said next to her.

"We don't know for sure if he got caught," Rose remarked.

"So what's the plan then?"

"Plan?"

"Yes. What's next? What do we do now?"

"I dunno."

"Don't you do this sorta thing all the time?" Donna asked. "I mean isn't this pretty much your life?"

"That doesn't mean I instantly know what to do," Rose said, looking around the corridor, thinking of the best course of action. It would be good if they could know what the Doctor was up to.

"...I mean I sure don't have much experience with this sort of thing..." Donna rambled on.

"Just, quiet for a minute." Rose held up one finger to get Donna to shut up.

Rose closed her eyes, focusing on the connection between her and the Doctor. She could feel him, the way she always did. Right at the back of her mind. She remembered when he'd blocked her out. How it had felt as thought that connection was numbed and slow. A bit like when your arm fell asleep and you couldn't get your fingers to move properly. Being blocked from him was like having the connection to your arm or you leg cut off. It was not pleasant.

But right now the connection was alive and clear.

 _Doctor_? she asked carefully.

She got a startled. _Rose_? in return.

 _Did_ _they_ _get_ _you_? she asked.

 _I'm_ _with the_ _Master_ , he answered. _Rose_... There was a sad tinge to this thought.

 _Yes_...

 _Take Donna and go. Do it now_. _Just take her_ _and go._

 _No_ , was Rose's simple reply. She couldn't imagine he'd expected anything else. She could practically hear him sigh across the bond.

 _Please_... he tried.

 _No, we're coming to get_ _you_.

 _Don't do that_.

Rose didn't even bother to answer this. She could hear him calling her name inside her head several times but she ignored him.

Rose looked up to find Donna looking at her funny.

"What?" Rose asked.

"What were you doing?" Donna asked. Rose stepped past her and began heading the way the Doctor had disappeared.

"They got him," Rose told Donna over her shoulder. Donna scurried to follow.

"How do you know that?"

"He told me," Rose said with a shrug.

"I knew it!" Donna exclaimed, making Rose glance her way. "It's that bond thing he did right? When he saved your life?" Rose nodded. "So you can hear each other's thoughts then?"

"Yup," Rose confirmed.

"That is so weird."

"You have no idea."

They turned a corner and walked down another hallway.

"Rose..." Donna trailed off.

"Yeah?" Rose's attention was focused on the bond, letting it guide her steps. When Donna said nothing else, Rose glanced her way. "What?" Rose asked.

"This bond you two got...?" Donna began but never had a chance to finish the sentence. One of the small rectangular windows burst opened and someone tumbled down, right in front of them. Both girls jumped back in surprise. The person shot to his feet. He was dressed in a lab coat and his skin was completely green, his face covered in some weird spikes. He stared at them. His eyes were round with fear, his breathing was laboured and his hands were shaking, probably from adrenaline. Rose quickly realised that this is what she'd seen in the fog. Twice.

"You," Rose said, pointing at the green man.

"You have to help me," he blurted out, stumbling over the words in his haste. "I've seen you. You are not with him."

"And who are you then?" Donna asked.

"He's got her. Harold Saxon. He's got my partner. Addams. You have to help me."

"Just calm down," Rose said, taking a step towards him, her hands raised in an effort to appear non threatening. "Just tell us who you are."

"There isn't time," he pleaded. He looked from one of the girls to other. "Please."

"Just give me something," Rose said. "Species or planet of origin." The green man took a hasty breath.

"Vinvocci," he said. "Some of our technology crashed here, long ago. We simply came here to retrieve it."

"That would be you and this partner of yours?" Rose asked. He nodded.

"Saxon got the Gate. The one we were sent here to get. He's been using us to keep it running."

"And what does this Gate thing do exactly?" Donna asked.

"It's just a piece of medical equipment."

"I bet that isn't what the Master's been using it for though," Rose thought aloud.

"No, it isn't" The man shook his head. "He's using it to amplify a signal and he's using nuclear power to fuel it."

"What signal?" Rose asked.

"He says it's inside his head. He's mad."

"Your partner? She's where the Gate is?"

He nodded. "She is."

Rose looked to Donna. "What do you think?" she asked.

"About what?" Donna stared at her in confusion. Rose gave her a smile.

"Save his friend, destroy the Gate, stop the Master. Good plan?" It took a while but eventually Donna reluctantly smiled back at Rose.

"You are bonkers you are," she said to Rose. "Just like him. It's like you were made for each other."

"So you'll help me?" the green man asked, still that desperate tinge to his voice. Rose turned to him.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Rossiter."

"I'm Rose and that's Donna. Let's go save your friend then yeah?" Rose's enthusiasm was rubbing off on Rossiter and even he smiled. He nodded.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"We haven't actually done anything yet," Donna felt compelled to point out as the three of them continued down the hall.

"You're willing to help. That is enough."

"Come on," Rose told them. "We need to hurry. I think we're running out of time."

/

"I've been working for days and nights to purify the white-point star. To sanctify it," the Master told the Doctor, a manic glee sparking in his eyes.

"You're gonna use it as a lifeline," the Doctor stared at his old friend in horror.

"The Gate will amplify the signal in my head with the help of my star. That's what it is, Doctor. A signal. A call for aid. A mission to save our race."

"But how are you powering it?" the Doctor asked, walking around the Gate.

"Keep your guns on him," the Master told his guards. "If he so much as touches a single thing, shoot him." The Doctor glanced over at the Master. "What?" the Master asked. "Soon I'll have Time Lords to spare. I won't need you." The Doctor tried to not let that hurt. Just because he could still see that child he'd known in the Master's eyes didn't mean that child was still there. "Nuclear powered," the Master explained.

"My little cactus is keeping a close eye on it." He smiled at the green girl in the glass box and gave her a wave. She gave him a glare filled with hate and loathing in return. Again the Doctor felt the urge to bust her out of there. By the look of her she could have been in there for days. "You want to set her free?" the Master asked as though he'd read the Doctor's mind. "Go ahead." The Master smiled wickedly.

The Doctor left the Gate and walked slowly over to the twin-glass boxes.

"No," he said as he stared at them. He ran his hand over the glass. Radiation shielding. He looked at the mechanism controlling the doors, his mind quickly working it out. To open her door he'd have to step into the other box and press the button on the console. But as it released her it would lock him in.

"Are you going to do it?" the Master said right next to him. "She can only get out if someone else takes her place. Will you sacrifice your freedom for hers, Doctor?" The Doctor's gaze fell to the green girl where she sat on the floor of the glass box. He was tempted. He was. He wanted to save her. The girl shook her head. "Isn't this what you do?" the Master mocked. "Save people." Again the girl shook her head. Brave. Just like Rose. Rose...

The Doctor turned on the Master. "Stop this," he said. "Stop this now, there is still time. You don't have to do this."

"I'm bringing back our people, Doctor," the Master said. "Why would you not want that?"

"You don't know..," the Doctor said. "...what they became in the final days of the war." Because however much the Doctor might want his people back he wanted them back as he remembered them. As he chose to remember them. Not what they became. But that was what the Master was trying to bring into this world. And how could the Doctor let him do that?

The Master rolled his eyes as he sauntered over to a section of wires all connected to a bed perfectly designed for the rock in his hand. The Master placed the white-point star down on it.

"It's time," he said. "Open up the nuclear bolt." A couple of men in white lab coats began working the computers. "Infuse the power lines to maximum."

"Nuclear bolt accelerating, my lord," one of the lab coat wearing guys informed him.

"Send the signal back and the link becomes a pathway. A lifeline. Connecting us. A link strong enough to pull them through the Timelock. They are returning, Doctor." The Master closed his eyes as though in rapture. "Can you hear it? The drumming. Oh, the drumming. Four beats. The beats of the Time Lord's hearts."

Everything was coming alive around them. The machines whirring and light flashing to life. Until suddenly it all went dark.

"What?!" the Master exclaimed, his eyes flipping opened. He looked around with a frantic anger. "What did you do!?" he screamed at his technicians. They both shook their heads, desperately trying to fix whatever it was that had broken. The Master stormed over, grabbing one of them by his shirt collar. "Hungry," he growled. But before he had a chance to devour the man, to strip his flesh from his bones the Doctor felt her. A mere second before she stepped out from behind the Gate. Rose.

"I guess this bit was important then," she said, holding a piece of metal in her hands. The Master released the man he was holding and spun. His eyes fastened on Rose and the Doctor felt dread, pure and raw lash through him.

Not her. He thought. Don't you dare. Not her.

 _Run_! he screamed at Rose inside his head. _Run_! But she didn't even acknowledge him.

"Oh, but what have we here?" the Master asked, a smile spreading over his face as he saw Rose. He glanced at the Doctor. "You always did have a thing for the pretty ones," he said to him. The Doctor's hands clenched into fists. "Who might you be then?" the Master asked Rose. "And more importantly what did you do to my machine?"

"Oh, I hear it isn't yours at all," Rose told him, casually holding the piece of metal and wires in her hand as she spoke. "I heard from a rather reliable source that you stole it."

"I may have," the Master allowed. "A little." The Master's gaze was running up and down the length of Rose's body. The Doctor couldn't tell if he was checking her out or seizing her up to eat her. Rose didn't seem in the least bit troubled by this either way.

"Very naughty of you," Rose said.

"I do admit to being a bit naughty." The Master smiled at Rose. And she smiled back. What the hell?

 _Rose, what are you doing_? The Doctor barked across the bond, unable to hide the jealous tinge to his thoughts.

 _Shut up_ , he got as an impatient reply. _I'm distracting him, of course_. The Doctor glanced around the room and spotted Donna streaking along the edges of the room, followed by a male Vinvocci.

 _Oh, what are you doing, Rose Tyler_? the Doctor moaned across the bond.

But Rose's focus was back on the Master. Or rather she was back to flirting with him.

"Might I have your name before my guards put a bullet in your brain?" the Master asked her.

"Oh, what's in a name?" Rose mused with a crocked smile. This caused the Master to pause.

"Rose..." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're Rose." He twirled on the Doctor. "Ha!" he burst out. "Rose Tyler!"

"Don't," the Doctor warned.

"You poured the entire time vortex into your head," the Master said with a touch of awe as he bounded over to her. Immediately the Doctor moved.

 _Stop_ , Rose told him across the bond. _It's fine_. He stopped even though every fibre of his being rebelled at the idea of letting the Master anywhere near her.

"I've been wanting to meet you," the Master said. "If you give me that," he nodded towards the thing in her hand. "I won't kill you. I promise. Mostly because I'm a bit curious about you."

Rose's gaze flickered past the Master for just a second. The Doctor turned discretely, seeing Donna and the Vinvocci. They were moving too slow, he thought. They would get spotted. The Master leaned just a little closer to Rose and drew in slow breath through his nose. Rose's eyes snapped to him in surprise.

"Did you just sniff me?" Rose asked. The Master's eyes narrowed on her.

"Something's wrong with you," he said, taking a step back.

"Hold it!" one of the guards called out as he spotted Donna and Rossiter.

"Run!" Donna screamed. Rossiter made a run for the glass box and the girl inside. Donna tried to get in the way of the man aiming the gun at him.

The entire room suddenly erupted in chaos. The guards spun towards the new threat. Rossiter ran in a desperate dash towards his partner. He made it all the way to the glass door, his hand on the actual handle. There was a kind of pop, pop, pop from one of the guards assault rifles and Rossiter stopped. Blood bloomed out from three separate wounds on his back. Addams struggled to her feet. She screamed as she watched her friend crumble and die before her eyes.

The Master knocked Rose over in an attempt to get the device in her hand.

"Give it to me!" he growled as they both tumbled to the floor. Then the Doctor was there roughly pulling the Master off Rose. The Master stumbled back, the device in his hand. Immediately he ran for the Gate. "Get them!' he yelled at his guards. The Doctor pulled Rose to her feet.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he practically screamed in her face. Rose pulled free of him.

"Helping!" she screamed back at him.

The whole system powered up as the Master apparently repaired what Rose had broken. "The star!" the Doctor exclaimed and ran for the diamond. His hand was right over it when he felt the cold barrel of gun at his temple.

The Doctor froze. He glanced up at the man holding the gun. Blue-eyes.

"Slowly," the man urged. The Doctor straightened.

"Oh, Doctor!" the Master sang. The Doctor turned slowly around. The Master had Rose, his arm wrapped around her throat. For a second his skeletal structure flashed and the Doctor was reminded of how he'd just consumed a man until there had been nothing left but bone. If he did that to Rose. If he hurt her in any way. "Back away," the Master told the Doctor. Reluctantly he did, Blue-eyes kept his gun trained on him.

The sound of drums pounded through the air, reaching out across time and space. Da-da-da-dum. Da-da-da-dum. Calling into the darkness.

"Can you hear it now!" Master laughed manically. The Gate began to shake violently. Everything shook with it. The walls were cracking up. Sparks shot out of the computers and the mechanics around the room. It all seemed to be coming down around them. Rose struggled to free herself of the Master's hold but his grip tightened, holding her fast as he laughed.

The Doctor glanced at Blue-eyes. He was still aiming his gun right at the Doctor. There was murder in his eyes. The Doctor could see it. And before he would have said Blue-eyes was the saner one.

"I think it's your time," Blue-eyes said. The Doctor saw as he made the decision. The decision to shoot. The Doctor didn't quite understand why but he could tell the decision had been made. Which meant that this was it. This was how he was going then. A single bullet to the head and everything falling apart around him.

But the bullet never came. All he did was blink and suddenly the room was gone. The Master was gone. Rose was gone. He was standing on a ship. By the looks of it the ship was orbiting the Earth. He twirled around. The girl. The Vinvocci girl was standing behind him.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Teleport," she said, holding up a small device. The Doctor made a grab for it. "There was only enough power for one trip," she said, letting him take it. He examined it quickly, realising she was right. He threw it angrily on the floor.

"Why did you do that?!" he barked.

"I promised the girl," she said. "The redhead. I promised I'd get you out. The deal was for both you and the wolf one but I couldn't get to her."

"The wolf one?" the Doctor asked. The green girl nodded.

"There something of the wolf about her, don't you think?" Yeah, there was and he needed to get back to her right now.

"You shouldn't have done that," the Doctor said, taking off for the bridge. The girl hurried after.

"Why? I've got a ship. We can run."

"I don't run," the Doctor said over his shoulder. "Or, well I do run. I run quite a bit but I don't run away is what I mean to say. Never. Or I guess I've done that too but not when it mattered."

"You are going to die if you go back there!" the girl called after him. He stopped.

"Perhaps," he allowed. "Probably most definitely actually. And trust me that thought terrifies me. More than I could ever explain. But I won't sit here and cower while the world falls apart."

They made their way to the bridge.

"I'm sorry," the girl said. "But I can't let you go back there. I need to get home. I need to get home to my family." The Doctor stopped and turned around. He knew she was pointing a gun at him before he saw it. If he ever saw a gun again it would be too damn soon.

"What's your name?" the Doctor asked.

"Addams," she replied.

"What about your friend, Addams? What was his name?" It took a bit of time before she answered.

"Rossiter."

"Rossiter died trying to free you."

"Free me so I could get home," she said. "Not so I could die fighting a war that isn't mine."

"This isn't just my war or their war!" The Doctor pointed towards a big round window, showing the planet far below. "You can't even comprehend the horror the Master is trying to bring into this world. It won't just affect one world it will affect all of them. If you want to see your family again you help us win this." And he turned away even though Addams was still pointing her weapon at him.

The Doctor's blood was rushing fast in his veins. He had a painful pressure over his chest. The kind he got when he was too far away from Rose. He knew Addams had saved his life. Blue-eyes would have shot him. And a bullet to the head, he might not have been able to regenerate from that. But despite the fact that she'd saved his life he couldn't help but be angry she'd taken him so far away from where he needed to be.

The ship shook around them. Not good. The Doctor ran for the window. He stared in horror as a planet much larger than Earth began to appear in the sky above it. It was a rust- coloured world. From orbit it almost looked as though the whole planet was on fire. It had nothing of the cool blue serenity of the Earth. It was like something brought out of hell. Conjured from the depths of the fiery pit to destroy the world the Doctor had adopted as a second home. The planet where Rose had been born. Gallifrey was returning. And it wasn't the Gallifrey the Doctor chose to remember. The one with fields of red grass, snow- topped mountains and a burnt orange sky. This was a planet marred by war, it's inhabitants warped by death.

And yet a part of him would always belong to this world. The birthplace of his people. The world he had destroyed. Every cell in the Doctor's body seemed to vibrate with this knowledge as though the planet itself was calling him home.

"What is that?" Addams breathed next to him.

"The end," the Doctor replied darkly. "The end of everything."

/

Rose watched in absolute surprise as the Doctor vanished into thin air. Immediately she felt the loss. Like he was ripped from her. It made her gasp. But he was alive. Alive but far, far away. She repeated it to herself over and over as she drew in a lungful of air. Alive. Alive. Alive.

"Yeah, run you coward!" the Master screamed. He released Rose with a shove. "Touch nothing," he told her and marched over to the guard that had been pointing a gun at the Doctor before he'd disappeared. "And you!" he barked, grabbing the man by his collar. "You were going to kill him, I saw you."

"He's the enemy, my lord," the man defended himself.

"He's not yours, he's mine," the Master growled. "No one kills him but me. No one!"

"M..my lord," the man stammered, his eyes filling up with fear. He never even had a chance to scream before the Master had consumed him. Rose felt terror and disgust as nothing was left of the man but a bag of bones that the Master unceremoniously dropped to the floor.

The Gate was being eaten up by a bright white light. Rose stumbled away from it. But before she managed to get far the Master grabbed her, pulling her back.

"You stay here," he said. "If the Doctor won't be here to witness this at least he can watch it through your eyes, bonded as you are." Rose faltered, staring at him in shook. How could he know? "I can smell him all over you," the Master explained with a wry twist of his lips. "The Doctor, always so high and mighty and he goes and does this." He laughed. "Greatest crime there is."

"Why?" Rose immediately asked him. "Because of one man's madness?" The Master's eyes narrowed on her.

"You know about Omega?" he asked. Rose nodded.

"He lost Patience and went mad."

"Did you know that madness nearly destroyed the Time Lords? Biggest war we'd ever seen. But did he learn from that? No, kept at it. He never would have stopped. I hear Patience was all he could think about."

"It's still only one man," Rose said. The Master smiled at her.

"You think it was an isolated incident?" He watched as her gaze fell tellingly from his. How could she say that when she'd just stopped the Doctor from possibly collapsing time because he thought it would somehow save her. "No." The Master had easily read her expression. "You know it's not. You know what the problem with Time Lords are?" he asked her. Rose looked back up at him. She said nothing. He pulled her a little closer. "We don't know when to stop," he said. His eyes slewed down for a moment. "Be it love or war." His eyes moved back up to hers. "We just don't know when to stop."

The room erupted in a brilliant white light. The Master spun, still holding on to Rose's arm. The Gate was gone. Shadows seemed to move in the light that had replaced it.

"They're coming," the Master breathed. "They're coming."

"My lord!" One of the technicians suddenly called out. "We got incoming."

"Yes, they are all coming," the Master said, his voice filled with a manic glee.

"No, something else," the technician clarified. The Master and Rose looked out of one of the large floor to ceiling windows that were evenly spaced out along the walls. Hurtling towards the building through the air was a spaceship. The moonlight glistened off the body, small lights flickered along it's rather impressive wingspan. It didn't move like an airplane. It was shooting through the air like a bullet. And by the looks of it, it was going to crash straight into the hospital.

"Doctor!" the Master screamed next to Rose. She unwittingly stumbled back a step as the ship came hurtling towards them.

At the very last second the ship pulled up, surely missing the building by inches. But Rose didn't have the time to so much as breathe a sigh of relief. The dome ceiling overhead shattered. Rose tore herself free from the Master, throwing herself out of the way as glass rained down around them. The Master stumbled back, holding up his arms to shield his face from the glass shards. Rose watched between her fingers as the Doctor fell through the air, crashing hard onto the marble floor among the broken glass.

He lay still. So very still. The moonlight shone in through the broken ceiling, a few cotton like snowflakes drifting down in the pool of pale light around the Doctor. Rose had felt him hit the floor. Felt it in every bone of her body. Get up, she thought desperately.

 _Get up!_

The Doctor moved, struggling up on all fours. First now did Rose notice the gun in his hand. It was a rather pretty weapon. The shape of an old revolver but made out of some opaque grey material. She had no idea where he'd gotten it. Nor did she know how he'd jumped out a spaceship and crashed through the glass dome. The Doctor raised his head. He had cuts all over his face from the glass. Rose ran over to him, the glass breaking beneath her feet. She fell to her knees next to him, not caring if she got cut. She touched his face, feeling the bond sparking off as she did.

"Are you alright?" she asked him urgently. "Doctor?"

"Takes more than a tiny drop to kill me," he ground out. She smiled and hugged him, wrapping her arms around him as they sat in a pool of broken glass. Relief beyond measure filled her chest.

"I can't stop you from dying if you're this determined to kill yourself," Rose told him. His arm came around her waist.

"Had to get back to you," he told her.

The room was still shaking around them. Rose looked up. The shadows moving inside the white light were taking form.

"Doctor..." Rose reluctantly pulled back from him. He turned around, his eyes growing wide as he saw the shapes materialising in the light. Men in robes. Rich and crimson velvet robes. The man in the middle held a staff and an iron gauntlet incased his left hand. He carried himself with a powerful, important air, his back straight and his eyes alight with intelligence. There was elaborate gold stitching along the lines of his robes. He was flanked by two women, both holding their hands before their faces as thought they were weeping. Next to them were two more men, golden plates covered their shoulders and reached above the back of their heads.

"Who are they?" Rose asked, though somehow she thought she might already know the answer.

"Time Lords," the Doctor told her all the same. The Time Lord in the middle let his eyes slew over the Master where he stood just to the right of the Doctor and Rose, staring at the new arrivals with glee.

"My lord Master," the man said with a nod of his head. "And my lord Doctor." He turned to the Doctor and Rose.

"Rassilon." The Doctor's voice was dark. Rassilon. Oh my god, Rose thought. This was Rassilon. Thee Rassilon? The man who had helped shape the Time Lords. The one who had betrayed Omega when he'd lost his mind. The one who'd made sure anyone else that ever formed the bond was executed before history had a chance to repeat itself. "And who is this human child?" Rassilon asked the Doctor. "She has no place here." The Doctor clasped Rose's hand.

Rose thought she could hear the Master actually snicker behind them. She turned her head, glaring at him. He wouldn't dare, she thought. He gave her a duplicitous smile. Oh, he would. If he felt like it he would use what he knew to his advantage.

"Send her away," Rassilon ordered the Doctor. "This is the time of Time Lords. For the rising of Gallifrey!" The Doctor didn't move, his fingers only tightened a little around Rose's.

"You can't do this," the Doctor told them. "You can't! Please, just listen to me!"

"It approaches," Rassilon declared as though he'd not heard a word the Doctor had said.

"What approaches?" the Master asked. "Did I miss something?"

"Yes," the Doctor told him harshly. "Because you never listen! It is returning! That was the prophecy. It, as in Gallifrey. It is not just the Time Lords it's Gallifrey."

"Oh, but that's great," the Master exclaimed with a laugh.

"I don't mean to agree with him," Rose said carefully. "But your people returning, isn't that good?"

Again the place shook. More cracks appeared in the walls. Things began toppling over.

"Oh my god!" It was one of the technicians. He stood pointing out the window. Rose looked out seeing a planet in the sky. A planet looking as though it was on fire. So big it eclipsed the entire night sky. Gallifrey. It was coming here. To Earth.

The technician turned and bolted. The other one followed him along with all the guards. Rose guessed it had finally become too much for them. But it didn't matter how far they ran. This wasn't the kind of thing you could outrun.

"The Time Lords restored! Our home returned!" Tthe Master laughed as things continued falling over all around the room. Rose could just imagine the panic. Because that big burning planet looked as though it was going to knock the Earth out of the sky.

"No," the Doctor told Master. "Not just our home. You broke the Timelock which means everything is coming through. Not just the Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-have-been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. It all turned to hell. That's what you brought!" the Doctor screamed at the Master. "Right above the Earth. Hell is descending!"

The Master's resolution seemed to falter for a moment but he soon regained it.

"My kind of world," he said with a smirk.

"No," the Doctor said. "Because not even the Time Lords can survive that."

"That is why we will initiate the final sanction," Rassilon explained calmly. The Master was looking at his fellow Time Lords a bit like you'd look at a puppy who'd just turned around and bit you. "The rupture will spread until it rips the time vortex apart. The end of time itself will come at my hand."

"But that's suicide," the Master told them.

"Not for us." Rassilon smiled. "We will forgo these bodies and ascend. Become creatures of consciousness alone."

"Do you see now!" the Doctor barked at the Master. "This is what they were planning at the end. This is what the war turned them into. This is why I had to stop them. I had no choice."

The Master's eyes shifted to Rose for just a moment. He smiled a little at her and she remembered him telling her that the biggest problem with Time Lords was that they didn't know when to stop. She hated to admit it but he was right. If they loved, they loved with everything they had and if they went to war they fought until there was nothing left but ashes.

The Master looked back at Rassilon and his court of Time Lords as they stood ready to bring the whole of creations to an end.

"Then take me with you, Lord President," he said. "I'll ascend with you into glory."

"You are diseased," Rassilon said regretfully. "And it ends here. It is time for the drums to stop." Rose thought she could almost hear compassion in Rassilon's voice. Or perhaps she was just imagining it. A man prepared to destroy the whole of creation in a final sanction could not possibly possess much in the way of compassion.

"You made me." The Master's voice was coloured by terrible betrayal. "You put the drums inside my head. You did this to me!"

"Be thankful you were allowed to serve Gallifrey in your final moments," one of the other Time Lords told the Master.

"What about him?!" The Master asked, pointing at the Doctor. "You think I'm diseased! You have no idea what your favourite son has gone and done!"

"Shut up!" the Doctor warned the Master. Rose saw the Doctor's hand tighten around the gun he still held in his hand. It was so strange seeing him with a weapon. But the Master didn't look interested in shutting up.

"Committed the ultimate crime!"

"Shut up!" the Doctor screamed, shooting to his feet and taking a threatening step towards him, his hand slipping out of Rose's. Rose got to her feet next to him.

"Silence!" The Lord President's booming voice rang through the room. "Your ancient feud has no place in our final hour. It comes now." He raised his hands to the sky, his staff in one and the gauntlet covering the other. "The end of all time!"

The Doctor spun away from the Master and raised his gun, pointing it straight at Rassilon. The man lowered his hands.

"Think well on who you murder, Doctor," he said. "It will be your final act." The Doctor spun, instead aiming the weapon at the Master.

"Oh, come on!" the Master moaned. "This isn't my fault! It's their fault. They did this!" The Doctor kept the weapon trained. "Ah," the Master realised what the Doctor was thinking. "The link is inside my head. Kill me and they get sent back."

"It is too late for that," Rassilon said. "The end is here." The Doctor glanced back at Rassilon just as one of the women next to him lowered her hands revealing her face. Rose felt a wave of recognition wash over the Doctor. He knew the woman, there was no doubt in Rose's mind.

Her face was lined by time and a single streak of her dark hair had turned grey. She looked at the Doctor with unbelievable sadness. Tears were falling down her face. The Doctor stared at her as though he couldn't quite trust his eyes. Couldn't believe what they were telling him. The woman glanced past him. The Doctor turned, following her gaze back to the Master.

The Master's eyes widened as he realised the Doctor was going to fire. Rose saw his finger tightening on the trigger.

"Get out of the way," the Doctor said. It took the Master only a moment before he ducked to the floor and the Doctor fired the gun, straight at the white-pointe star. The diamond the Master had used to solidify the link to Gallifrey. The machine it was connected to exploded instantly in ball of sparks and fire.

"No!" Rassilon screamed.

Immediately as it was destroyed the Time Lords began to fade. Fade back into the the white light, back to where they'd come from. Rassilon stumbled forwards, fighting the pull. "You will not!"

"Go back to the Time war, Rassilon," the Doctor spat. "Back to hell!"

"You will die with me, Doctor!" Rassilon declared.

"I know," the Doctor replied with resignation. Rassilon raised his gauntlet, aiming it at the Doctor. Light gathered in his fist. But Rose stepped in front of him. She did it without thinking, protecting the Doctor was an instinct.

Rose felt the energy instantly begin to shift inside her. The Doctor wrapped his arm around her waist in a desperate grip. Rassilon stared at her in horror and surprise.

"What is this?" he asked. "What have you done?" Rose clenched her hands tightly into fists, struggling to control the energy that threatened to erupt in defence of the Doctor.

"Rose, stop," she heard the Doctor growl in her ear. Even though he sounded angry she could hear his voice was still tinged by fear. But she'd sworn to herself that she wouldn't let him die. Whatever it took. She couldn't loose him. The thought of a world without the Doctor was one of darkness and pain. Never ending pain. She would never be able to bear it. It would tear her apart and scattered the broken pieces through the universe until there was nothing left of her but dust.

"You won't touch him," Rose told Rassilon, a strange sort of echo to her voice. Pain was starting to pound through her head but she ignored it.

"What have you done to her?" Rassilon asked the Doctor.

"Isn't it obvious?" the Master burst out. Rassilon's eyes shifted to his. "They've bonded." Rassilon's eyes snapped back to the Doctor's.

"No, that's impossible."

"Take a whiff," the Master said. "You can smell him all over her."

"That is not how the bond- violation is determined," Rassilon barked angrily at the Master.

"Can it be broken?" the Doctor asked suddenly. Rassilon narrowed his eyes on the Doctor and Rose.

"Broken? The bond? No, it can't. It is not meant to be broken. It is as eternal as the howling."

"You executed people for this," Rose said. "You betrayed your friend." Rassilon stared at her with absolute horror.

"There was no other choice, child," he said. "Just look at yourself!' He threw out his hand in Rose's direction. "You are bursting with energy you can't control. Even now it's most likely burning your mind to ash. And what for? To save him?" He nodded towards the Doctor. "You'll burn down the world you were so adamant in saving. All for one man. And you ask me why I betrayed a friend that threatened to do the same."

"Well," the Master began. "Let's not throw stones about destroying things here, Lord President. We're all guilty of that."

"You shut your mouth you diseased riddled fiend," Rassilon spat at the Master. "I was going to raise us all up in glory. All you've ever wanted was destruction and chaos. And you..." he turned on the Doctor. "You'd have us all destroyed. Your entire race!"

Again Rassilon raised his gauntlet, ready to use its destructive power to most likely kill them all. The energy spilled out in front of Rose's eyes. She saw through the energy of the time vortex. The Bad Wolf was howling. Rassilon fired, a bright beam of light shooting out from the gauntlet. But Rose calmly raised her hand. She saw the golden dust swirling beneath her skin. She could hear in the distance the Doctor screaming her name. The beam of deadly light from Rassilon hit her outstretched hand. But she didn't feel a thing.

The beam disintegrated into dust before her eyes. Images were pushing at the back of her mind, causing it to sear with pain. But even that seemed to matter little.

"Like the Doctor said," Rose told Rassilon, her voice not quite her own. "Go back to hell."

"Abomination!" Rassilon screamed and raised his hand to fire again. But he never got the chance. A spark, like lighting blew past them and hit Rassilon square in the chest. Rose heard the Master screaming.

"You did this to me!' he shouted, sending another bolt of lighting at Rassilon. "All my life! You made me into this! And now you call me a diseased fiend!"

Rose felt the Doctor as he yanked her back, pulling her out of the line of fire as the Master sent another bolt. And another. And another that became a steady stream of light, like lighting. Rassilon crumbled to his knees, desperately trying to hold himself up with the use of his staff. But there was no escaping the Master's furious onslaught.

"You burn in hell, my lord President!" the master screamed, rushing towards him. The Doctor and Rose watched as Rassilon was consumed by the white light. He no longer had the strength to fight it. The Master was still screaming as the light took him as well.

Rose expected a big explosion, or something. But the light just faded. The planet in the sky falling back into the Time war where it belonged. As it vanished, predawn light spilled over the earth. Like the whole of the human race had just stepped out of the darkness. She looked out the window, feeling thankful the world was still there. Then she felt her knees buckling.

"No, no, no, no." It was the Doctor's frantic voice. Suddenly she could see him in front of her. He was so beautiful, she thought. The way his timelines branched out around him. So many possibilities. Except at one junction. There it was nothing but a black hole. But they'd saved him. Her and the Master of all people. He was alive. He was safe. Her Doctor. "Rose..." She saw tears in his eyes. "Please." He ran his fingers along the side of her face and she felt the energy inside her respond to his touch. She remembered one of the things Annabelle had told her. Or reminded her of. When Rose had been trapped on the Dalek Crucible she had told Annabelle that the reason she was still alive, why creating the bond hadn't killed her as it should have was because of her and the Doctor. Because they loved each other to the point of breaking. They had long before the bond was even created. That connection, that bond. The one that was a choice. That was what was keeping her alive.

The Doctor had been wrong. It was when that connection was lost that she became a danger. When one or both of them held back. Because then all that power suddenly had nowhere to go. When she was in this state she could briefly remember what had happened at new years. He'd pulled back. Because he'd been scared. She didn't quite understand of what. But that was why she'd lost control and nearly died. All they needed to do was stop being afraid and trust in each other.

The Doctor was holding on to her desperately. Rocking her back and forth and praying in a language she did not understand. But she recognised the rise and fall of the vowels, the rhythm of the words. It was Gallifreyan. She felt his hand touching the skin of her cheek, his other wrapped around her waist and she let go. Let the energy inside her move freely across the bond. She closed her eyes and could see it moving around them, like strings of dusted, golden light, tying them together. It was beautiful.

It didn't feel so much like regaining control as simply levelling out. Much like when she stepped inside the TARDIS and was closer to the time vortex. The pain disappeared from her head, her eyesight returned to normal, the light vanished from beneath her skin.

"What are you saying?" Rose asked the Doctor. He held her tighter to him.

"I'm bargaining with hell," he said.

"No need," she told him. "I'm fine." He turned his head and kissed her temple, a pleasant tingle accompanying the touch. "We're fine."

"I heard you," he said. She knew he meant her thoughts about the bond.

"It makes more sense," she said.

"I know." Something in the way he said it made her feel as though it wasn't really news to him. Rose moved, wrapping her arms around his neck. He was alive. She was alive. Everything was going to be alright. That was all that mattered.

Until a sound as innocent as the sound of falling rain rang through the room. But like rain it heralded something worse. A storm. Winds powerful enough to rip everything you held dear from your chest and lighting strong enough to burn you out from the inside,.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock


	46. Chapter 46 - A final song

Chapter 46 - A final song

"Guys? I get the whole reunion, glad to be alive, let's shag right here on the floor thing but could you maybe just let me out first?" The Doctor remained absolutely still as though he'd not even heard Donna speak. Rose pulled away from him and got to her feet. She took a moment to gather herself, fighting the blush that had crept up her cheeks. She turned to find Donna standing in the glass box next to the one Addams had been locked in before. "Sorry, it's just all these lights and things they're starting to make me nervous." Donna pointed to the console next to her where there were several lights flashing. A few of the other computer stations around the room also seemed to be trying to alert them to something.

"Sure thing," Rose said and hurried over. She pulled on the handle of Donna's door. It didn't budge. "How is it even locked?" Rose asked, not seeing any kind of locking mechanism around the handle.

"I had to get in this one to get Addams out," Donna explained.

"Doctor," Rose called over her shoulder. "Could you sonic this?" He didn't reply. "Doctor?" Rose half turned back towards him before an alarm began blaring.

"Good lord what is that?" Donna asked.

"Hang on," Rose told her and ran over to one of the computer stations with the most flashing lights. The screen had toppled over so she picked it up and placed it back on the table. The screen flickered, making it rather difficult to see what was on it.

"Rose?" Donna's voice had become rather urgent.

"Just a minute," Rose told her. She beat the screen with her hand. "Come on," she muttered and the flicker stopped long enough for her to read the warning message. "No," she mumbled. "Oh, no." She began pressing buttons on the keyboard but the computer was not responding. All she managed to do was shut off the alarm. "Doctor!" she called back to him. Still no reply. "Doctor!"

She turned and ran back to Donna in the glass box who was by now pounding on the glass in a desperate attempt to get out. In her haste Rose only half registered the Doctor still sitting on the floor amongst the broken glass. Rose pulled on the handle to Donna's door again. It was as sealed shut as before.

"Rose, what is happening?" Donna asked with a hint of panic.

"That nuclear power Rossiter was talking about..." Rose purposefully didn't look at his body that was still on the floor next to the glass case. "...well it's going critical or something."

"What? Are we all going to blow up?!" Donna asked, panicked now. But Rose shook her head.

"No, the radiation gets vented in here," she said, pulling on the door handle again.

"All of it?" Donna asked.

"Yes, I think so."

"Then get me out!" Donna's voice rose to a pitch. Rose gave her a look like -what do you think I am trying to do?

"Doctor!" Rose called him again and again he didn't reply. "I need the sonic!" Rose pulled on the handle again. "Doctor!"

Rose spun away from Donna. The Doctor was still on the floor. He was just sitting there staring into empty space. What was wrong with him? Rose rushed over, falling to her knees in front of him. She reached into his inside jacket pocket, knowing that's where he kept the sonic screwdriver. She felt her hand close around the familiar object. She pulled it out and almost got to her feet before the Doctor suddenly grabbed her wrist roughly. He stopped her so suddenly a surprised yelp escaped her lips.

"You can't use that," he said darkly. "It might set it off. The Master left the nuclear bolt opened. The system is overloading."

"Then how do we get her out?" Rose asked him desperately. To this he said nothing. They didn't have time for this. Rose pulled free of his grip. He grabbed the sonic screwdriver out of her hand as she got to her feet. She left it with him and ran back to Donna.

"What is going on?" Donna asked frantically. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Rose muttered as she ran her hands over the glass case, moving around it and searching for any way to get Donna out of there.

"Rose..." Donna's voice trembled.

"Yeah?" Rose answered distractedly. Her eyes ran over the mechanism at the top of the box that controlled the doors.

"I don't want to die."

Rose felt her stomach twist into a painful knot at the quiet fear in Donna's voice.

"Well, you're not going to," Rose told her, swallowing back the tears that welled up in her throat. "Tell me about.. Shaun, that was his name right?" Rose asked in a desperate attempt to keep Donna from focusing on the fact that she would be dead in a few minutes if Rose couldn't get her out.

Donna laughed, a nervous, broken sound. "He's great," Donna said. "A bit of a dreamer but he adores me. Absolutely adores me." Rose smiled at that. Donna deserved someone that treated her like a queen. "It's not like... you know... like with you and the Doctor," Donna said. "He doesn't rock my very foundation or nothing."

"You love him?" Rose asked, making her way around the glass case, her eyes following the wires, her mind in overdrive. Donna's voice got a dreamy sort of quality to it.

"Yeah," she said. Rose's smile widened.

"Then that's all that matters," Rose told her. "Trust me, rocking foundations is not always a good thing." Donna laughed a little.

"No, perhaps not but just to have someone look at you the way the Doctor looks at you. Especially when he thinks you can't see it..." Donna fell silent as Rose came back to the front of the box. Rose swallowed hard, her eyes meeting Donna's.

Perceptive as always, Donna saw in her expression what Rose couldn't bring herself to say. Donna nodded, her hands trembling as she ran them through her red hair.

"Donna," Rose said. Donna looked back up at her. "I'm sorry." Donna nodded again, tears spilling over her cheeks and Rose reached for the handle on the other door.

Donna's expression switched in under a second.

"What are you doing?!" she asked desperately. Rose just gave her a smile as she pulled opened the door. "No! Don't! Rose! Don't! No!" Donna screamed as she pounded on the glass.

Examining the box, Rose had come to one simple conclusion. If Donna was going to get out Rose was going to have to take her place. That was all there was to it. Simple. Simple and impossible all at the same time. Because even thought she knew there was nothing else she could do but this Rose didn't want to die anymore than Donna did. Not when there was so much to live for. So much wonder, so much to discover, so much to see, to breathe, to feel. But Rose couldn't sit and watch a friend die. She knew she couldn't.

The flashing lights were letting her know there was precious little time. Donna was still pounding on the glass door screaming at her to stop. But nothing could make her stop. Until a hand over hers on the handle did.

Rose's gaze slowly followed the line of his arm, all the way up to his face. The Doctor. Cut and bruised but always and forever absolutely amazing.

"Let me do that," he said. But Rose shook her head.

"No, not this time," she she told him. "It's my turn."

"I will survive the radiation," he said. "You won't."

"You mean..." Rose took a breath. "...you'll regenerate." She knew what regeneration meant. She had been through that before. Everything changed.

"Yes," he confirmed. Rose shook her head again.

"No," she said.

"It will be alright." He placed his other hand over hers. He sounded so calm. So sure. But his hands were trembling. Rose reached out her mind towards his but he didn't meet her as he usually would. He held back. He always held back.

Donna was still pounding on the glass telling them both to just get out of there but neither Rose nor the Doctor could really hear her.

"Let me do this," the Doctor said softly. Rose pulled her hand free from underneath his.

"No," she said and went for the door. But the Doctor grabbed her before she managed to get inside the box. He could be so very quick. He yanked her back. She hit the hard wall of his chest and his arms immediately wrapped tightly around her. He held her to him, the muscles of his arms flexing as she tried unsuccessfully to free herself.

"Be rational!" he barked in her ear. "You step into that box and you're dead, Rose! Dead! Do you hear me!" Rose fought to get out of his hold but he wasn't letting her go. "You are not making me go through that! Do you understand!"

"Let go off me," Rose told him, twisting fruitlessly.

"Time," the Doctor said. "That's what you told me. I gave you time. Now give me time," he asked her angrily. "Please." He took a shaky breath. "If you step inside that box it is over now. I stand here and I watch you die. But if you let me do this then... then we'll get time. Just a little more time. I beg you Rose, please just give me a little more time."

"But you die," Rose said with some difficulty. "I know how this works. Who you are now, he's gone!" She felt the Doctor's head fall against her shoulder.

"If you think I want this you're mad," he mumbled. "All I ever wanted since these eyes first opened was you. You are all this body, these exact hearts and this mind has ever wanted, Rose. So please, don't ask this of me. Not this. Don't make me watch you die. Don't let that be the last thing I see."

Tears were starting to fall down Rose's cheeks. He spoke with such pleading, such agony yet how could she just let him go? He was afraid of this. of dying and she had promised him she wouldn't let him. That she would do anything to stop it.

The arms that had grabbed her to stop her was softening, wrapping around her more gently.

 _Rose_... she heard him whisper across the bond. And so much was contained in that one thought. Her name. Yearning and passion, pain and fear but most of all love. He loved her like the night loved the moon. His light in the dark.

She turned in his embrace, her face mere inches from his. Close enough that she couldn't see him properly. She wouldn't have been able to anyway with the way tears kept filling up her eyes and making her vision blurry. The Doctor reached up his hand and brushed a lock of her hair away, curling it tenderly around her ear, slowly as though savouring the touch. The tingles running over Rose's skin at the contact was soft like brushes of a feather. But Rose pulled away. She couldn't do this. She couldn't loose him.

"I can't," she said. "I can't."

"Shhh," he whispered, pulling her back. Reluctantly she let him. He leaned her head against his chest, holding her there. "Everything is going to be ok," he lied, turning his head and kissing her temple. Then he was gone. Just like that. One moment he was holding her and the next there was nothing but empty air. And they said you needed air to breathe. She needed him to breathe.

Rose spun, just as he closed the door behind him and pressed the big red button on the console. A sound that to Rose sounded like thunder announced the release of Donna's door. Rose barely registered Donna saying something because the minute she stepped out Rose threw herself at the glass case. Donna somehow managed to grab her and pull her back.

"No!" Rose screamed, trying to twist free. "No! Don't! Doctor..." The Doctor turned his head and his eyes met hers. They were sad. So unbelievably sad. He put his hand to the glass.

Doctor, she mouthed silently. And then she could hear words inside her mind. His words. It was the vow. But he didn't say it in Gallifreyan this time but in english. As well as he could translate it. So she'd know the meaning of every word.

Endless tears streamed down Rose's face as the machines around the room announced that time was up. She watched helplessly as the Doctor cried out when the radiation poured into the glass case. He fell against the glass and Rose screamed, She felt it. Felt as radiation tore through his body, ripping his cells to pieces. Helplessly she watched as he writhed in pain, not once again crying out. Not like Rose. She screamed and screamed as though she could never stop. He fell to the floor and finally Donna was unable to hold Rose back any longer.

Rose rushed forwards, practically slamming into the glass box. No. No. No. No. She tore at the handle and the door swung up easily. Of course it did. Now when it was too late. His body had been lying half against the door and fell back as she opened it. Rose fell to her knees next to him. She was crying as she pulled him into her lap, holding on to him desperately, rocking back and forth and kissing the top of his head. Don't leave me, she pleaded over and over. She wasn't sure if the pain inside her was from her connection to the Doctor or if her heart was simply breaking apart inside her chest.

"I can't breathe," she told him as she continued to rock back and forth. "Not without you. I can't breathe."

Suddenly she felt his hand wrapping around her wrist.

"Rose..." She straightened, staring down at him in surprise. It was his face. The same face. He was still the same.

"Doctor?" He smiled at her. A weak smile. He reached up and brushed tears away from her cheek.

"I really hate it when you cry," he told her and Rose laughed. A fractured. disbelieving laugh.

"I thought..." she trailed off. The smile vanished from his lips.

"Not yet," he said. His hand fell from her face. "Help me up," he said and she did, both struggling back to their feet.

They turned to find Donna standing there. She had fresh streaks of tears down her cheeks. The Doctor had his arm around Rose's shoulders and she had hers around his waist as she helped him move forwards. Whatever strings had held Donna where she was snapped and she rushed over, throwing herself into the Doctor's arms. His free hand stole around her.

"It's ok," he told her. "It's ok." She pulled back from him.

"Don't do that!" she told him and slapped his arm.

"Ouch." He stared at her, looking rather offended.

"You scared me to death," Donna told him.

"Yeah, even scared myself," he admitted. He straightened, letting go of Rose and standing on his own two feet. Rose took a step back and looked at him.

"Doctor..." The cuts and bruises he'd sustained when he fell through the glass dome were gone. He ran his hands over his face.

"Its started," he said. Rose swallowed her fear. It was happening. Unconsciously she took another step back. She didn't quite notice what she did but he noticed. The Doctor's eyes sharpened on her for a moment.

"So all good now, right?" Donna asked. "Scary Time Lords gone and all?" The Doctor tore his gaze away from Rose. He nodded.

"Yep," he said. "All gone. Back to where they belong."

"Well, I don't know about you two but I wouldn't mind going home," Donna said, the tiredness she so obviously felt finally showing in her voice. The Doctor nodded.

"Of course."

Donna turned and began walking out. The Doctor held his hand out to Rose. She hesitated before taking it. Her skin still tingled at the contact just like it always did. But it was a little dull. A little slow. She wanted to ask him how much time. How much time did they get? How long before it happened? But even though she parted her lips to speak no sound came. She couldn't do it. Maybe he would give her an exact moment. A day. An hour. A minute. She didn't think she could quite bear to hear that clock ticking down inside her head. Ticking towards the end of his days as he was now. When he'd loved her with everything he had.

They made their way through the hospital. Donna was on the phone, calling the proper authorities. Whoever she was speaking to, UNIT would most likely get there first anyway. She hung up the phone as they made it outside. Dawn was coming quickly. Frost coated the grass and trees and the sun was just starting to peak out over the horizon. It was a beautiful morning. And all the more so because it had come at all. It could have gone differently. It could all have ended. But the world was still here. Still moving. Still turning, not caring that something else was drawing to a close.

The Doctor and Rose followed Donna back to her car. Rose made to pull her hand out of the Doctor's so she could sit in the front seat but he wouldn't let her go. His fingers tightened around hers and as Donna got in the driver's seat he and Rose got in the back. All the while he did not let go of her hand.

"You think the patients will be alright?" Donna asked, looking back at the big iron gate and the hospital beyond.

"The ones that are still alive will no doubt be taken care of," the Doctor replied. Rose and the Doctor sat on either side in the back seat, their interlocked hands resting on the seat between them. They should be closer, Rose thought. But she didn't move.

Donna started the car and they took off as the sun rose, the first rays catching on the frost, making the scenery sparkle as though the world was made of diamonds.

They met UNIT cars on their way back to the city but they didn't stop. The TARDIS was waiting to take them away and they never had been much for staying for the aftermath.

It was a quiet drive through the city this early in the morning. Some people were about. Laughing and smiling in the sunrise. Meeting the day with hope and joy, glad to alive. But the atmosphere inside the car was solemn and quiet. Donna parked her car as close to the TARDIS as she could get, being that the street they'd landed on was sealed off for vehicles.

"There it is," Donna said. "Your mad blue box."

"Thank you, Donna," Rose said. "For everything." Donna looked back at them.

"You two gonna be alright?" she asked. Rose gave her a tremulous smile.

"Of course," she lied. She didn't think as she slipped her hand out of the Doctor's and moved to get out of the car. She saw how he immediately reached for her but she was already moving. As she turned to close the door behind her she saw the Doctor and Donna staring at each other. Donna looked sad and scared all at once. The Doctor's face showed nothing at all. He turned away from Donna and got out of the car.

"Come on," he told Rose, nodding towards the TARDIS. He walked around the front of the car and held out his hand for her. She took it without hesitation this time.

Hand in hand they made their way back home. The TARDIS would always be home now. The one solid point in an ever changing universe. As they reached it the Doctor unlocked the door and immediately disappeared inside. But Rose stopped and glanced back. Donna was out of the car, standing by the door watching them leave. It looked like she was crying again. Rose raised her hand and gave her wave. Donna took a moment before she waved back.

"Rose," she heard the Doctor call from inside. "We need to go."

Reluctantly she turned away from Donna and walked inside the TARDIS. It looked the same as always. The ramp up from the door. The circular room with its coral pillars along the edges. The haphazard looking construction of the centre console with the soft glow of the time rotor at its centre. Rose loved everything about this room. The warm light, the beat up jump-seat, the soft hum of the TARDIS. It always filled her with a rare sense of joy. But now she felt melancholy. For some reason she got the feeling this might be the last time she saw this room like this. It felt like everything was slipping through her fingers. Everything she'd come to depend on to always stay the same.

The Doctor was at the console. She knew enough about flying the TARDIS now to know he was setting coordinates.

"Where are we going?" she asked, walking up the ramp towards him. He didn't stop or look up as he answered.

"Time for the farewell tour," he said. Rose felt her stomach drop. She stopped at the console, running her fingers along the edge of it. Farewell tour. Farewell.

Rose had thought that seeing old friends would be a happy occasion. But not this time. Not like this. The Doctor stopped by to save Martha Jones's life. He went to see a moody Captain Jack Harkness on a barstool in an alien bar. He hadn't spoken to Martha nor did he speak to Jack. Rose watched as the Doctor handed a piece of paper to the bartender with instructions to give it to the handsome captain across the bar. Jack looked up as he got the note, glancing to the bloke next to him. The Doctor gave him a nod. The Captain got the same look in his eyes as Martha had. Like they both knew something was wrong just as they equally knew they could do nothing to fix it. Jack raised his hand and gave the Doctor a solemn salute. The Doctor gave him a two fingered one in return and left. Rose's eyes caught Jack's across the bar. Something Jack saw in hers made him rise out of his chair. But Rose shook her head ever so slightly. He halted. As much as she might want just an ounce of comfort she knew there wasn't time.

Rose forced her lips into a smile. Though she could make her muscles do the motion she knew she couldn't manage to put any joy into it. Not when she was falling apart inside. She left Jack in that bar and joined the Doctor back in the TARDIS.

He was by the console, holding on to the edge of it so tightly Rose thought he might fall if he let go.

"Doctor..."

"On we go," he said, pulling a lever and sending the TARDIS back into flight. Rose clutched the railing as the ship shook. She stumbled up the ramp to his side.

"Doctor." She reached out, placing her hand over his. He clutched hers desperately. The connection between them was still slow and Rose was beginning to think she knew why. "Are you in pain?" she asked him.

"It's fine," he said.

"Let me help you," Rose begged him but he shook his head.

"You shouldn't have to carry this," he said. He pulled his hand reluctantly out of hers and landed the TARDIS.

He took the time to see Sarah Jane, actually saving her son from being run over by a car. She too seemed to instantly understand that the Doctor wasn't there to say hello but to say goodbye.

They left Sarah Jane and her son to travel a bit into the future.

"You can stay here for this one," the Doctor told Rose as the whining sound of the TARDIS signalled them landing. But Rose shook her head.

"I'm not leaving you," she said. "Not for one moment." He gave her a nod and left.

This time they entered a bookshop. A woman with features Rose vaguely recognised sat signing books. The Doctor picked one of them up and got in line. Rose glanced at the book cover. A journal of impossible things by Verity Newman. And it clicked into place. Joan Redfern. Rose had seen the Doctor's drawing of her in the journal he'd showed her that day in the library. The woman he'd fallen in love with when he'd been human. Though it couldn't help but hurt to think he'd fallen in love with someone else Rose also found there was gratitude in her heart. Joan Redfern had been there for him when Rose could not. And perhaps she'd brought him a bit of comfort.

Verity Newman the author, now sitting and signing books must be Joan Redfern's descendant because she looked at lot like her. Rose picked up her own copy of the book and leafed through it. It was essentially the journal the Doctor had showed her.

"I got it from her later," he told Rose. "When she didn't need it anymore." The perks of having a time machine, Rose though as she put the book back in the pile of others. She followed the Doctor up to the table where Verity Newman sat. He slid the book over to her.

"Who shall I make it out to?" she asked.

"The Doctor," he replied.

"Funny," Verity said with a smile as she wrote it down in the book. "That's the name he used." She halted and looked up. Disbelief was followed by a quiet recognition.

"Was she happy?" the Doctor asked. "In the end?" It took the woman a moment to bring herself to answer.

"Yes," she finally said. "Yes, she was. Where you?"

The Doctor gave her a half smile but said nothing as he took the book and left the store. Rose was just about to turn away when the woman halted her.

"Wait," she said. "I know you." But Rose shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but we've never met."

"No, but wait." She got one of the books and searched through it until she found the page she was looking for. She held it up. It was the drawing of Rose. "She looks just like you," the woman said. Rose raised her gaze from the drawing and met the woman's eyes. "My great- grandmother added a separate note to this page," she said, turning to the next one. Rose took the book gingerly as the woman handed it over. She looked at the page. It had been arranged in the book as though someone had written in a swirly hand on a post-it note.

 _He always looked as though he might have forgotten something_.., Rose read.

. _..and until he showed me his journal I couldn't understand what. It was like he'd left the stove on. But it wasn't the stove. This girl whoever she was, she's on nearly every page. If it is not a scribble of her name in the margin, it is just the curve of her cheek or the shape of her lips. She's woven like gold thread throughout his mind. Though I may have claimed a piece of John Smith's heart the rest was hers. It would always be hers._

Rose fought the tears lodged in her throat as she mutely handed the book back. He'd loved Joan Redfern enough to give her a piece of his heart. But a piece was all he could spare because the rest belonged to Rose. It had even then. Verity Newman watched her as Rose turned away and walked out of the store.

The Doctor was waiting for her by the TARDIS, standing and leaning his shoulder against it.

"You ok?" he asked as she got closer. Rose nodded, not saying anything because she was sure she wouldn't be able to. They got back inside the amazing time travelling machine, always ready to take them anywhere. But anywhere is not where they were going. The Doctor fired it up and off they went. They did a brief stop where the Doctor hurried out but returned moments later, putting something in his pocket.

Next he sat the TARDIS down on a beautiful summer's day next to a church. Donna was in front of it. She was all dressed up in her beautiful wedding gown, the groom standing beside her beaming proudly. They were surrounded by family and friends joyfully throwing flower petals in the air.

"Excuse me." An old man squeezed his way past the Doctor and Rose, so properly dressed he must be a part of the bride's or the groom's immediate family. "Forgot the camera in the car," he said, laughing.

"Hang on," the Doctor said. The old man turned back around. "You are...?" the Doctor trailed off inviting the man to finish the sentence.

"Wilf," he replied. "Proud grandfather of bride," he added, smiling.

"Can you give this to her?" the Doctor asked, picking a note out of his pocket and handing it over to him. Wilf took it. "Wedding present."

"Don't you want to come and say hello?" Wilf asked them but the Doctor immediately shook his head.

"Thing is I never carry money, so I just borrowed a quid off a really lovely man called Geoffrey Noble." Wilf was staring at the Doctor as though he was mad. "Just have that on me he said, " the Doctor told him. "Have that on me."

"Dad!" a woman screamed, and by the sound of it she could be none other than Donna's mum. Wilf reluctantly turned away. He hurried over to the wedding party.

"Where have you been?" the woman wanted to know. Wilf gave his explanation's as he handed the envelope over to Donna.

"It's not a bill is it?" Donna asked as she took it. "Just what I need." She opened the envelope and pulled out a lottery ticket. "Who's this from?" she asked. Wilf turned and pointed towards the Doctor and Rose.

For a moment Donna's face lit up with a smile. But it soon faltered. She saw it. Just like everyone else had. It was ending. It was all ending. And if you were lucky you got to say goodbye before it did and that's what the Doctor was doing. He was saying goodbye before he went and they could all see it.

The Doctor and Rose left Donna on the happiest day of her life, safely tucked into Shaun's arms and surrounded by people who loved her. They returned to the TARDIS. Just the two of them. As it always were. The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler.

"One last stop," the Doctor said.

They didn't travel far this time. Just a slight little hop. The Doctor groaned and Rose felt for the first time just a hint of the pain raging through his body. She gasped and hurried over to him, catching him as he faltered. He let her take some of his weight because he had no other choice.

"I'm ok," he ground out.

"You're not ok," Rose told him. "You've said goodbye to everyone, Doctor. Just..."

"This one isn't for me," he said, leaning his head against her shoulder. "It's for you."

"What...?"

The Doctor took a couple of deep breaths and straightened. He looked at her for a moment before taking her hand. He didn't say anything as he led her outside. It was in the middle of the night and it was snowing. Big, beautiful snowflakes. Rose looked around. She was home. London. The Powell Estate.

"What is this?" she asked the Doctor.

"Present," he said. She narrowed her eyes at him and he nodded to something behind her. Rose turned and saw Mickey.

But that was impossible. He was gone. Mickey was dead. She'd watched him fall. She'd seen his body. But here he was making his way through the snow, his mobile pressed to his ear as he muttered about someone not picking up.

"Rose, come on," he muttered as he redialed. Rose turned back to the Doctor. They were both standing in the shadows. Where Mickey couldn't see them. She wanted to ask him just what was going on but she couldn't seem to speak.

"You got a bit of time before you get here. Past you, I mean," the Doctor said.

"Doctor..." she trailed off, her eyes shiny with tears.

"Go," he told her.

Rose turned away and before she could think too much on it and the potential consequences she ran over to Mickey and threw herself into his arms. He stumbled back in surprise.

"Rose?" he asked. She clung to him desperately. "I was just phoning you," he said. Rose couldn't seem to get any sound past her lips which might be just as well. "Hey, are you ok?" he asked as he held her. Rose finally managed to let him go. "Did something happen?" he asked her. She shook her head. "You missed it," he said. "Midnight. New year now. Goodbye 2004." This was New Years eve 2005. This would be the year. The year she met the Doctor. This is were it started.

"Rose?" he asked again. "Are you sure everything's ok?" She nodded again, drawing in a quick breath of cold air.

"You go on ahead," she said. "I'll be up in a minute."

"You're not coming with me?" he asked.

"I'll be up in a minute," she assured him.

"Ok," he allowed hesitantly. Rose gave him a smile. He smiled back. Mickey smiled. Mickey whom she'd lost. She didn't know how she stopped herself from crying. But somehow she did as Mickey turned away and headed off.

But as Rose returned to the Doctor the tears fell. She cried as the Doctor caught her up in his arms.

"Thank you," she cried against his neck. He held her to him for a moment longer before he pulled back. Rose heard familiar voices behind her. Her mum's and her own. She turned around. It was strange seeing herself even though she'd done it once before.

"You leave in a minute," the Doctor said. "Then you can go to your mum. Just be careful what you say."

They watched as past- Rose hugged Jackie and both women headed off in opposite directions.

"Go," the Doctor told Rose and watched as she ran after her mum, keeping to the shadows to not get spotted by herself. He knew he shouldn't have done this. Going back on her timeline like this. But when it was in his power how could he not give her this?

Pain lashed through him again, reminding him that his body was failing. Fast. He moaned, catching himself agains the brick wall behind him.

"You alright mate?" He looked up in surprise at the sound of her voice. There she stood. Rose Tyler before he knew her. Just as beautiful as she was now. But her eyes were younger. They'd seen less. Less heartache, less pain. But also fewer wonders, fewer adventures. The Doctor nodded.

"Yeah," he said.

"Too much to drink?" she asked.

"Something like that," he allowed.

He could tell her, he thought. He could tell her never to go with him. He could save her right here, right now. Save her from all the pain. He could save her life and in doing so sacrifice everything they'd shared. Every moment. Every touch. Every time he'd looked at her and known there was no one else in the entire universe save her. No one else he would fight so hard to stay alive for. No one else. Only her. And he could sacrifice all that and save her. Collapsing time by altering a fixed point but maybe just maybe it would save her.

"Maybe it's time you went home," Rose told him and she smiled. Smiled that amazing way of hers. Nothing else in the universe had the power to light up all the dark corners of his soul quite like that smile. And he couldn't do it. He could't take it all away. Because it was not what she wanted. Rose had told him what she wanted and it was high time he listened. He looked up at the girl before him. The girl he would come to know and grow to love. So much in fact that he'd do this, simply because she'd asked it of him.

"Yeah," he agreed. Time to go home. And home was her. She turned to leave, but stopped.

"Anyway," she said. "Happy New Year," He smiled at her, even though she probably couldn't see it.

"And you," he said. She gave him another smile before she headed off. "Hang on, what year is this?" he called after her, suddenly anxious to know how long it would take for them to meet. She turned back.

"Blimey," she laughed. "How much have you had?" He made a non committed sound. "2005," she said. "January the first."

"2005," he repeated, realising it was now. This was the year. They year everything changed for him. The year she saved him. "Tell you what," he said. "I bet you've going to have a really great year."

"Yeah?" she asked. He nodded. She gave him that absolutely brilliant smile like only she could. "See ya."

And the Doctor watched her run off, reminding himself that she was really running towards him and not away. He groaned out as more pain coursed through his veins. He took a step but his knees folded under him. He couldn't hold it off for much longer. Then suddenly she was there. Rose. His Rose. The one who knew him. Heart and soul.

"I got you," she said, helping him stay on his feet. "I got you."

"I didn't do it," he said weakly. "I could have but I didn't." Rose looked at him. She looked scared. So scared.

He wanted to tell her not to be but it would just be another lie. How could he tell her not to be scared when he himself was terrified. She helped him back up and half carried him as they stumbled forwards through the snow. It fell around them, drifting on the air. He loved it when it snowed.

Rose halted suddenly. The Doctor glanced up and there he was. Ood Sigma. Standing in the street, waiting for him. Like an angel guarding the gates to the next to world.

"We will sing to you, Doctor," the Ood said kindly. "We will sing you to your sleep."

A song as filled with sorrow as with beauty filled the night. It spilled into all the dark and forgotten corners, drifting in through every window. It was a song of gentle farewells and letting go. Of gratitude and fulfilled promises.

The Doctor faltered in his step, falling to his knees in the cold white snow, Rose falling with him. His breathing was ragged as he fought to stay, just a moment longer.

"Doctor, get up," Rose told him. "You have to get up."

"Rose.. my beautiful Rose," he mumbled, half incoherently, swaying where he sat. Rose clasped his arms, steadying him.

"We have to get back to the TARDIS," she told him. "Look, she's right there." She turned and pointed ahead. There she was. That wonderful box, all the bluer for the white surrounding her. Rose wrapped her arm around the Doctor's waist. "Get up," she ordered him and somehow he did.

Rose's grip on the Doctor tightened as they made their way over to the TARDIS where she stood waiting patiently for them.

"This song is ending," the Ood said, still just as softly. "But the story never ends."

Somehow Rose managed to get the door opened and drag the Doctor inside. He was in a lot of pain and it was getting harder and harder for him to block it off from her. The gentle song of the Ood seemed to follow them inside, trailing behind like a veil caught on a breeze.

Rose pulled the Doctor with her up the ramp but again he stumbled and again he fell. Rose's knees gave way beneath his weight and she crashed hard to the grated floor, wincing as she did.

She ignored the insignificant pain of a couple of skinned knees and turned to the Doctor.

"Rose," he breathed.

"I've got you," she assured him again. "I got you." She brushed his hair off his forehead, letting her fingers linger on his skin. letting him feel her, hoping it might sooth him if only for a moment. Rose helped drag him forwards, managing to get him sitting and leaning back against the console.

"Rose, I need you..." The Doctor struggled to get the words out. "I need you to get the TARDIS into space. Can you...?"

"I got it," she told him. Reluctantly she left him on the floor as she struggled to her feet. She hurried around the console, swiftly getting the TARDIS off the ground just as the Doctor had taught her.

Sudden pain lashed through her and she had to catch herself against the edge of the console. It was the first time she really got a taste of the pain he was in. She reached over with some difficulty, pulling a lever and setting the TARDIS to orbit around the Earth.

She stumbled back to the Doctor where he sat, falling to her knees next to him.

"I've done it," she said. "We're in space."

"Clever girl," the Doctor said, leaning his head back against the edge of the console, a weak smile about his lips. Then his face twisted in pain and he cried out. Rose clasped his hand, feeling his pain lash trough her own body. "It's almost time," the Doctor said. Rose shook her head.

"No, please. No."

"Rose... Rose, you got to listen to me," the Doctor ground out. "Rose?"

"I'm here, Doctor. I'm right here."

"There...was... There was something I didn't tell you." The Doctor was clasping her hand so tightly it hurt, but Rose didn't care. She shook her head.

"It doesn't matter now," she said, settling in next to him and leaning her head against his shoulder. "It doesn't matter."

"It does," he insisted. "I..." he struggled, drawing in ragged breaths. "The bond it doesn't just bind, it doesn't just tie...it..." He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. "...it syncs," he finished and moaned in pain. He seemed to be in so much agony and Rose could still only feel a fraction of it. She squeezed his hand, glancing down at their interlocked fingers and saw that light was moving beneath her skin. She shut her eyes and pushed herself closer to him.

"It syncs regenerations doesn't it?" she asked. She felt him nod, his chin brushing against the top of her head.

"So no lifetime would be spent alone." Rose felt a tear fall down her cheek. "But you...you're human," he managed to get out.

"I can't regenerate."

"I'm sorry." She heard him struggling to breathe, struggling not to cry. "Rose, I'm so sorry." She wrapped her other arm around him.

"It's ok," she said. "I...I have no regrets. It was worth every second."

"No," the Doctor breathed. "You...don't understand." He took a deep uneven breath. "I'm equally synced to you." Rose froze.

"What are you saying?" She put her hand to his chest and pushed herself up, looking into his eyes. He reached up his hand and brushed his knuckles down the side of her face. The familiar tingle ran through her blood like a warning

"What are you saying?" she repeated, scared now. Her breath came in short, shallow pants. By now she could feel the energy shifting inside her, preparing to regenerate a body that was never built for regeneration.

Rose looked into the Doctor's eyes and they were filled with guilt. She shook her head.

"No," she denied. "Don't tell me you'll actually die with me. Don't you dare tell me that!"

"Rose."

"You didn't limited yourself to one single lifetime by saving me! Tell me you didn't do that!" The Doctor raised her hand, the one he still held to his lips and kissed the back of it. Tears were streaming down Rose's face. "Don't tell me that," she pleaded. "Please."

"I'm so sorry," repeated, a tear rolling out of the corner of his eye. "But I would have given up so much more."

Rose just kept shaking her head.

"It's not possible," she tried. "No."

"The bond can't be broken," he said, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against her hand. "Not even by death." Rose just stared at him.

"Pain of Severance," she said so quietly she wasn't sure she even said it out loud. He nodded. That's how the Time Lords had dealt with those who broke the law and bonded. They only needed to execute one because the other couldn't survive alone.

The pieces were falling together. Horribly but logically together. Right before they'd gone to Lachrymose and celebrated New Years Eve, the Doctor had freed the Ood. They'd told him his song was ending. That he was going to die. The fear of killing Rose in the process had made him pull back and in doing so had nearly killed her then and there. All working to remind him off just what that was like. To have her die in his arms and have it be his fault.

"That's why you always hold back..." Rose said, countless tears streaming down her face.

"Yes. I couldn't be close to you without fearing what would happen should I die. I even thought if I didn't let the bond get too strong that you'd be fine. But I fear it was nothing but empty hope." He shook his head sadly. "And my fear was making it impossible to even be close to you. Every time I touched you, the energy inside began to shift, responding so quickly."

"And then you'd pull back and suddenly it had nowhere to go."

"Not touching you at all was the only thing I could think to do," he said. "But I couldn't even manage that." His gaze fell from hers. "I failed you," he said. "And now you're going to die because of it."

Rose just shook her head as tears continued to stream down her face.

"But I promised," she said as though she'd not heard him. He looked back up at her, confused. "I promised I wouldn't let you die. I... I can't..I."

"Some promises are not meant to be kept," he said sadly. She stared at him for a moment, until her gaze fell from his and she lay her head back against his shoulder. Perhaps he was right. She'd promised him forever after all and he'd promised her always.

"How much time?" she asked, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Not long," he replied, putting his arm around her shoulders and holding her close. His fingers were digging into her skin, his breathing was back to being shallow and an echo of the pain he was in hummed inside her.

"If..." Rose began hesitantly. "If you'd managed to regenerate.. would you still have...?" she trailed off.

"Would I still have, what?" he asked, kissing the top of her head and letting his lips linger there.

"Loved me?" Rose managed to get out. Leaning as she was against him she could hear the sudden unsteady rhythm of his hearts. Like they both skipped a beat.

"How..." he tried but failed. He took a breath and tried again. "How could you think I would ever not love you?" he ground out. "How could you think that?"

Rose straightened so she could look into his eyes.

"Because I know how this works," she said, her gaze dropping to her hands. "You're you but not you. New, new Doctor." His hand came up to her face. His touch soft but not gentle. There was pain edged into every movement he made. His body was fighting to regenerate and he was fighting against it. Just to give him a little more time. To give them both a little more time.

"I wan't you to understand something, Rose," he said, urging her face up. "And I want you to listen this time because I won't get another chance to say it." She blinked tears out of her eyes. "I have already loved you across two lifetimes, Rose Tyler and I'd love across ten more. You own my soul, you're written on my hearts, you pump through my veins like blood. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing."

Rose looked at him, staring into those beautiful brown eyes of his and realised they'd be gone in a moment. His eyes, his hands, his laugh, that childlike wonder she loved. All of it. This might be the last time she'd see him. The last time she'd see anything at all.

Before she realised what he was doing he'd pulled her down and kissed her. The feel of his lips against hers was like shooting stars across the sky and she was the star, tumbling, burning through the air. He ran his fingers through her hair, his lips roving in desperation over hers. Their minds twined together. Rose loved the feel of his mind against hers, the way they both came alive with it. The Doctor moved his hands down to wrap around her. He pulled her tight against him. They clung to each other fiercely, both knowing the end was coming but neither ready for it.

Their world was falling apart and they were falling apart with it. Nothing to do about their inevitable end. In fire, Rose thought. She always knew when the end came it would be in fire. Burning together. An inferno of things that were never meant to be but was always going to happen.

The Doctor tore his lips away from hers, a tortured cry ripping its way from his chest. Rose fell back, catching herself on her hands. Light had begun moving beneath his skin now, just like her. He held up his hand in front of his face.

"It's happening," he said. "Get back."

The Doctor pulled himself painfully to his feet as Rose tried to scramble away. But she didn't get far until the pain seared so ruthlessly through her she couldn't move. It tore her apart as Rose screamed, spasming into a ball on the floor.

 _Rose_! she heard him call out across the bond in desperate fear. Somehow she managed to raise her gaze. Golden light moved around him, like dust caught on the wind. They stared at each other. His eyes were filled not with the pain his body was in but with the agony of what he was loosing. What they were both loosing. For the blink of an eye time seemed to slow to a stop. One single moment, suspended. A moment that was theirs and theirs alone. And it was all they were going to get.

"I don't want go," he said.

There was such agony in his voice that it broke Rose's heart to pieces. And then there was no more time. The energy inside him burst. The Doctor threw his head back and light exploded through him. Rose screamed. Both for the loss of the man she loved and for the pain tearing its way through her. In that moment she wanted to die. She could feel him dying. Feel the bond first pulling and pulling, trying to pull her along and then weakening, fading. Like a memory. It hurt. It hurt so much she couldn't bear it. She was being torn apart but she wouldn't be put back together again. She was only human after all. Rose writhed where she lay. She couldn't feel the floor beneath her anymore. Could perceive nothing but the pain. And all she wanted was for it to end.

But in the midst of all that agony somehow a single thought began to shine bright and clear in front of her. She'd promised. Promised to do anything to save him. She'd promised. And perhaps some promises were never meant to be kept but this one was. And if the bond forced them to follow each other even into death than it could damn well help her keep him alive.

So Rose clung to life with everything she had. She'd carry him through this if it was the last thing she ever did.

Rose could feel the ship practically tearing itself apart around them as enormous amounts of energy exploded through the room. Fire burned at the edge of her vision. She could hear the TARDIS screaming. Everything was tearing itself apart trying to stick together. Explosions erupted all around her as fire burned through her blood, pain scorching every nerve in her body and then silence.

Nothing but silence

Had she failed?

Rose tried but couldn't feel anything. Not the clothes against her skin or her own heart beating. And she couldn't feel the bond. She couldn't feel him. Did that mean she'd died but he hadn't? Had she gotten him through his regeneration and in doing so broken the bond? She didn't know. She couldn't tell. She couldn't feel anything. Not even that emptiness in her mind when the bond was being blocked or that pressure over her chest when they were too far apart. There was just nothing. Maybe she'd set him free.

He'd told her that nothing could ever make the love he felt for her fade and in that moment it had warmed her heart, knowing that if things were different they could have had forever. Now she hoped those words would prove false.

She loved him enough that all she wanted was for him to be happy, even if she wasn't there to see it. Even if she would fade into nothing but a memory.

She hoped it would be a beautiful one though. One that made him smile. They had some truly brilliant times together and she wouldn't change a single moment. There were no regrets. She'd lived a life where she'd seen so much wonder. And she'd loved. Loved a man as bright as the universe was vast. And he'd taken her away in his magical machine, showed her the stars and named them all. They'd run and they'd laughed, and they'd touched and they'd lived. She had loved him... and you know what? He'd loved her too.


	47. Chapter 47 - Epilog (end part2)

Epilog

The Doctor stumbled. Oh, new feet. Tricky. He spun around. It was madness all around him. Everything was on fire. And something was wrong. Horribly wrong. So wrong in fact he was worried he might throw up. But he couldn't make sense of what it was. He looked down on himself.

"Legs. I've still got legs. Good." Something was horribly wrong and everything was on fire but at least he had legs. "Arms. Hands. Ooo, fingers. Lots of fingers." He wiggled them in front of his face. Then preceded to check the rest of him. "Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, I've had worse. Chin, blimey. Hair." His hair was rather long, well bellow his ears. "I'm a girl!" he exclaimed in utter fear. He ran his hands along his throat, noticing the adams apple bopping along with his frantic swallows. "No. No. I'm not a girl." He breathed a sigh of relief. Oh, and the most important thing. Could this be the day? His hair was long enough that he managed to pull one string of it down in front of his eyes only to be instantly disappointed. "And still not ginger," he sighed, feeling a strange pang at this thought and brief memory flashing by inside his mind. But it was gone before he could grasp it. "And something else," he mumbled. "Something... I'm... I'm... Oh, I'm crashing!" he laughed as he felt the TARDIS hurtling through space.

The whole ship shook so violently it sent him flying. He felt his back crash against the doors and they flew opened. For a second he felt himself falling before he desperately managed to grab a hold on the door- ledge. He clung on for dear life. He looked down and saw London far beneath him. And if he wasn't mistaken they were heading straight for Big Ben. Not good. Not good. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut as they hurled towards the big clock tower. He just managed to pull himself up enough to miss the spire at the top from cleaving him in two. He got his elbows up over the ledge. And even through all the chaos he felt laughter bubbling out of his mouth. Well, he couldn't deny that this was exiting and he liked exiting. Couldn't have life be boring now could he?

Then suddenly his laughter died on his lips. His eyes caught a wisp of blonde hair.

Rose.

Rose.

The name seemed to hammer inside his chest. Beating along with his hearts. Drumming through his blood. Images of a girl with blonde hair and a smile to rival the sun flashed by inside his mind.

Rose.

His Rose.

She was lying on the floor inside the TARDIS, her face turned away from him. Her hair was coated with dust. It blew in the wind from the opened doors. He could see her hand. Her pale, delicate hand, stained black with soot.

Rose, he tried to call to her across the bond, like he'd done a million times before. But he couldn't feel anything in response. Why couldn't he feel anything? His mind was a big jumble. He couldn't sort out what was even what. The Doctor struggled desperately to pull himself up. He had to get to her. That was what was important. Finally he managed it, pulling himself in and kicking the doors shut behind him. He should be running over to the console, trying to regain some control over the ship but he went straight to the blonde girl on the floor.

The Doctor fell to his knees next to her.

"Rose?" he whispered. He turned her face towards him, seeing new hands touching her. It was strange. It was the same and yet not the same. He found her eyes closed, ash, harsh and black against her skin. "Rose?" he pleaded. His hearts were beating so frantically inside his chest it was making his whole body tremble. He couldn't feel her like he was supposed to. Why couldn't he feel her? Why!?

He brushed his fingers down her face. Why was she cold? Everything was on fire. He could feel the heat against his skin. Why was she so cold?

He ran his hands over her, capturing her wrist and searching for the beat of her pulse. But he felt nothing. Why couldn't he feel her pulse? His breathing was becoming increasingly erratic. There was only one answer to all these questions. And it took his mind several tries to even contemplate understanding it. She was dead. He couldn't feel her across the bond because she was dead. Her skin was so cold because she was dead. She didn't have a pulse because she was dead. Rose Tyler was dead.

No, he shook his head. She wasn't. She couldn't be. If he was alive then so was she. They were bound. She wouldn't leave him. She couldn't leave him! He got the sonic out of his pocket, running it over her. It flickered and whirred and gave him nothing.

"Stupid, useless thing!" he screamed, shoving it back inside his pocket before he broke it in two. He looked down on her where she lay. That face he knew as well as he'd known his own. He couldn't be here without her. It wasn't possible. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, feeling nothing but her soft skin. There was no response. No electricity running along his nerves at the contact. No spark in his mind. Just nothing. And yet he couldn't accept it.

"You are not gone," he told her. "Do you hear me, Rose Tyler? You promised. I may break mine but you never break yours." He recaptured her wrist, lifting her limp hand up to his lips and brushing a soft kiss across it as the ship was falling apart around him.

They were crashing but he would sit there and wait until he had a pulse. Because she was not gone. Not her.

As the ship hurtled through the air towards the ground and every alarm and warning bell were screaming around him that's when he felt it. Just a slight little beat agains the tip of his finger. He shot up.

"Rose? Rose?" He brushed her hair out of her face. "Rose?" She was as still as before. But he knew he'd not imagined it. She was alive. Somehow the wonderful, amazing girl was still alive. He had no idea how she'd managed this but in that moment he didn't care. She was alive. She was. That was all that mattered.

Again the ship shook violently, throwing the Doctor halfway across the room. He scrambled to his feet, forced to recognise the fact that he needed to get the TARDIS on the ground or they would crash and die. He ran around the console, flipping switches and avoiding fires as they burst from the floor, a newfound energy to his movements like a song had restarted inside his chest. "Oh, come on old girl." he said. "We can do this!" The TARDIS hummed. A rather desperate sound. Yet the Doctor found himself again laughing as they hurled through the air. He grabbed a lever and raised his head to the ceiling. "Geronimo!"

 **Ok, now before anyone yells at me I ask only one thing. Check the tags, ok? Just check the tags on this story and then I give you leave to yell to your hearts content if you wish to do so.**

 **So anyway we've come to the end of part two. I really do hope you enjoyed it a little at least. Part three to emerge out of the ashes shortly... hopefully ;)**

 **Oh, and if you want, I do have a tumblr blog attached to this story, ifweburnweburntogether. Not much up there yet but it will be outtakes, and edits and such if you're bored and want to check that out.**


	48. Chapter 48 - What breaks us

\- PART THREE -

Chapter 48 - What breaks us

He tried to steer. He really did try to steer. But safe to say they still crash-landed. As the TARDIS hit ground the Doctor was flung away, skidding across the floor and managing to knock himself out. When he came to he was staring up at the ceiling. Wires hung loose from their fastenings, sparks flying out of them. There was still a fire or two burning somewhere for he could smell the smoke. He shook his head a couple of times to clear the fog from his mind. Then a thought, sharp as a knife cut through him. He sat up and looked around frantically. At first he couldn't see her. Panic seared through his chest. Then he spotted her off to the edge of the room. The rough landing had tossed her about. The Doctor stumbled to his feet, rushing to her side. Explosions erupted around him. He had to get her out of there.

The Doctor picked Rose up from the floor, lifting her up in his arms. He hurried with her through the TARDIS. He kicked opened the doors as more explosions burned behind them. The doors shut immediately as he got outside. It took him a moment to realise there was a small human child standing in front of him. He looked down at a young girl, ginger hair and small perceptive eyes.

"Eh, hello there," he said.

"Is she dead?" the girl asked, her accent decidedly Scottish.

"What?" The Doctor glanced down at Rose. "No, she's not dead. Of course she's not dead."

"Is she hurt then?" the little girl asked.

"Yes, yes she is a bit." The Doctor looked around. "Do you have like a bed around here or something? I need to see that she's alright," he explained.

"Of course," the girl said, turning around and heading off to the house behind her. The Doctor followed with Rose.

The little girl showed them into a bedroom. A child's bedroom by the look of it. She never once questioned letting a strange man into her house with a dying girl in his arms, trusting what she saw like only a child could.

"She can use my bed," the girl said.

"Thank you," the Doctor told the girl as he laid Rose down on the bed.

"What happened to her?" the little girl asked. The Doctor got the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and ran it over Rose. But it kept switching off and on. The Doctor growled with frustration at the random readings he managed to get. But it was still enough to tell him it was bad. Bad and also not much that he could do about it. He couldn't very well take her to a regular hospital, going back inside the TARDIS at this point was out of the question and without the bond she was very much on her own

"She's injured," the Doctor said. "Rather badly I'm afraid."

"Will she be alright?"

"She has to be," the Doctor said, looking down at Rose. She had to be.

The little girl came around to the other side of the bed. She sat down at the foot of it.

"Who are you?" she asked. "Are you police?"

"Police? No,we're not police. Why would you say police?" the Doctor wondered.

"You've got a police box," the girl pointed out, looking at him as though she suspected he might be a bit slow.

"Right, well yes," he admitted.

"So are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Police," the girl clarified.

"No, I'm the Doctor," he said.

"What about her?" the girl asked, pointing at Rose.

"Not police, but not a doctor either. She's... well she's... Rose." He said her name with a touch of reverence, like he so often did. "Who are you then?" he asked the girl.

"Amelia Pond," the girl replied.

"Amelia Pond." He smiled at the name. "That's a brilliant name," he said. "Sounds like something out of a fairytale." Though he was smiling the girl was frowning.

"Are you worried she won't get better?" Amelia asked. That stumped him.

"What?"

"Well, you're so sad."

"Sad? Why would you say that?" He thought he'd been keeping it together rather well, given that his reason for existing at all had a heart rate that told him that heart might give up at any moment.

"My dad used to do that thing," the girl said.

"What thing?"

"He'd smile but his eyes would be sad."

The Doctor looked at the girl with new appreciation. Perceptive and clever, little Amelie Pond, he thought.

"Speaking of your dad," he began. "Where are your parents? Would have thought they'd have woken up by now."

"I don't have parents," Amelia told him. "Just an aunt." The Doctor was just about to ask Amelia about her aunt when he heard Rose stir.

His head immediately whipped around. He leaned over her, his hands touching her face.

"Rose?" he whispered, hope filling his voice. She moaned and moved her head but she didn't open her eyes. "Rose? It's me. I sound a little different but it's me. It's the Doctor," he assured her softly. Trying really hard not to be worried. He'd told Donna. But the problem was he'd never really entertained this much. He had never thought he'd be standing here. He'd never thought this could happen. It shouldn't have been possible. They should both be dead. But it seemed Rose Tyler had once again proven to him that impossible meant nothing. He knew she was responsible for this. She'd pulled him through by sheer force of will. And he knew he shouldn't doubt her now. But it was difficult not to. He'd been through this before and it hadn't always ended well.

What he felt for Rose was part of the very core of him. Deaths and rebirths meant nothing to his hearts were Rose Tyler was concerned. He'd love her until there was no more life left within him, probably even then, but would she?

He was all new but she was the same. Rose wasn't a Time Lord. Rose was human. And she had given her heart, her whole, beautiful, wonderful heart to one man. Would she be able to look into his new eyes and still see that man? He was still him. Still the Doctor. The same but not the same. But would she be able to see that?

The Doctor told himself that this worry was unworthy of her. That this was Rose Tyler, who'd found compassion in a Dalek. Who'd absorbed the energy of the time vortex just to save his life. Surely there couldn't be a circumstance in the whole of the universe that would ever stop her loving him. Right?

He watched as her eyelids fluttered. Rose was always so strong that it amazed him how fragile she could seem. How breakable. The Doctor felt his hearts chasing each other into a canter as she opened her eyes. She blinked up at him, looking confused and disoriented.

"Rose?" he asked carefully, unable to fight the smile lighting his face as he saw those beautiful eyes of hers.

Rose looked up at him, her eyebrows drawing together in a frown. "Rose, it's...-" he began but never had a chance to finish. She pushed his hands away from her and pulled back. The look on her face broke his hearts to pieces.

She didn't know him.

/

Rose stared at the man before her. For a moment she'd thought...

Her eyes flickered quickly around the room. She felt panic stirring in her gut. Nothing was familiar. But what was really beginning to terrify her was that she still couldn't feel anything. Yes, she felt the bed beneath her, air being drawn down her lungs. But she couldn't feel him. She couldn't feel the Doctor. Her mind was empty. Her whole being felt gutted, hollowed out. Her eyes returned to the man. He was looking at her as though he held his heart in his eyes and that heart might just be breaking.

For a moment she'd thought...

But he wasn't. She had felt his hands against her face but there had been no spark in her blood. No connection humming to life in her mind. It was gone. The bond was gone.

The man reached for her again. And Rose desperately scrambled away, not being able to bear his hands on her. This stranger. She wanted the Doctor.

"Rose..." the man said, his voice calm. How did he know her name? Rose got off the bed, only half registering that there was a child sitting at the foot of it, staring at her. But the minute Rose got to her feet, her legs seemed to simply give away under her. She caught herself against a vanity next to the bed. The piece of furniture wobbled as it took her weight, some items falling off it and crashing to the floor.

Rose had no strength and everything hurt. She kept dragging ragged breath's down her throat but it felt like she was breathing small shards of glass.

"Where am I?" she croaked out, her voice was raspy as though her vocal cords were actually charred. And she remembered burning. On the floor of the TARDIS. The energy inside her struggling to regenerate what couldn't regenerate. "What happened?" Rose's gaze fixed on the girl. "Who are you?"

The man had risen to his feet the minute she had, hurrying halfway around the bed. But luckily he'd stopped before he reached her. She didn't want him touching her. The mere brush of his hand against her cheek had hurt.

"This is Amelia Pond," the man declared, pointing at the girl and smiling carefully. "Nice name, don't you think? Very fairytale-y." He put his hands together as Rose glared at him. Fairytale-y? Fairytales were horror stories in disguise, Rose thought. The wolf eating grandma and taking her place. Girl set to be murdered by her own mother in law and have her heart cut out. And a bond forged to tie two souls together through life and death no matter the cost.

Through death. Rose's heart was beginning to beat frantically inside her chest, like it contained a caged bird. She thought she could even feel the wings as they beat against her ribcage. Through death. So no lifetime would be spent alone. That' s what he'd said. Then why wasn't he here?! Why was he gone?!

An inhuman, broken cry was ripped from Rose's chest and she fell. But he was there, immediately, catching her before she hit the floor.

"Rose," he murmured, his voice so soft and desperate. A part of her wanted to lean in to him. Let him take some of the weight. Help her bear the loss. But his touch still hurt and he wasn't him. He wasn't her Doctor. Rose pushed him off her and stumbled back. She fell against the wall. Her shoulder took the hit and the impact vibrated through her bones. For a moment she thought they'd might shatter. Tears had begun falling down her face.

"Please," she croaked. The man told the girl something and she jumped off the bed and left the room, though Rose barely noticed.

"Rose..." She looked up as the man again said her name. She almost thought there was something familiar about the way he said it, the cadence of it . "You have to calm down," he said .

"I can't feel it," she told him, not even trying to fight the tears. There was no hiding this pain. "I...I can't..." she stuttered. She looked up, her eyes meeting his. And he stopped dead. "Why can't I feel him?" she asked, as though this strange man would somehow know the answer.

In amazement she watched as relief filled his eyes. Why? He held up his hands as he moved towards her.

"It's the bond," he said. "Something's wrong with it... I don't..." He came closer and Rose flattened herself against the wall, fearing he'd touch her again. But even though she could tell he wanted to, his fingers seemed to itch with it. Even though he wanted it he didn't. His hands hovered inches from her skin. "It's me," he said, his voice so filled with fractured hope that for a second it halted the endless flow of Rose's tears. "Rose, please tell me you can still see that it's me," he asked of her, his voice breaking. And she just stared. Stared uncomprehending at this man that for a moment she'd thought she knew. But she didn't. Nothing about him was familiar. Not the floppy hair or puppy-dog eyes or the way he never seemed to quite be able to hold his hands still when he spoke. Except now. Now they were perfectly still, inches from her, waiting for permission to close the space between them.

But Rose shook her head. Why would she let him?

"Don't touch me," Rose croaked and watched as that frail hope in his eyes broke. He drew in one ragged breath as he pulled his hands back. Rose turned her face away, wanting nothing more than for him to get out of the room.

"How can you not see...?" he breathed. "Rose?" There was heartbreak in the way he said her name. Horrible heartbreak. She heard him swallow hard. Then before she knew it he'd grabbed her. She cried out as his hands felt like burning irons scorching her skin. "It is me!" he insisted, not noticing or not caring that he was hurting her. "Rose, it's me!"

Rose put her hands to his chest and pushed as hard as she could. His grip slipped from her as he stumbled back. Without him holding her Rose slid down the wall to the floor.

"I'm the Doctor!" he screamed.

Doctor.

There was such horrible fear in his voice. Such pleading. A pleading for her to recognise him and a fear that she wouldn't. Rose struggled to turn her head. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and looked up at him. "I'm the Doctor," he said again, so quietly she barely heard him this time. But he couldn't be, Rose thought. He couldn't be the Doctor because she couldn't feel him.

Rose looked into the man's eyes and for a moment she thought she could see all of time and space, all the stars in the universe inside them. And all those stars were dying. All at once. Until the sky was dark, leaving only one thing. Her. For a moment she thought she could see herself as though she somehow lived within him. As though she lived in his heart as the Doctor lived in hers.

"Doctor?" she asked and he immediately surged forward but she still flinched away from him. Fearing to believe. He fell back as though she'd struck him. Rose drew in hasty breath. "First word," she ground out.

"Don't do this," he said instead of answering her. "I beg you, Rose. Don't..."

"First word," she repeated more forcefully.

"I'm me!" he screamed at her again.

"First word," she repeated. She had to be sure. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it if this was some sort of trick.

"Rose, don't take this from me... please." His voice was so broken that she almost gave into it. She used the wall to get back on her feet. It wasn't easy. She was so weak.

"First word," she said again.

The heartbreak bled out of his eyes as he came over to her, every movement now harsh and angry. He stopped inches from her. She felt his breath against her cheek, a mere inch of movement and she'd feel his lips against her skin.

"Run," he hissed. And Rose felt fresh tears fall. "That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?" he asked unkindly. "The first word I ever said to you? Or perhaps you want specifics," he growled. "London. Living plastic. Basement." He tore away from her. "But those are facts," he said. "Something more personal perhaps? My first thought?" He came closer to her again. "Do you know what that was?" he asked. "When I first took your hand?" Rose was squeezing her eyes shut. Every word he spat at her felt like a slap. "Nothing," he told her cruelly and it was like he'd punched her in the gut. "You were just another human in need of saving."

Rose fought not to cry. She deserved it, she thought. She'd hurt him and now he hurt her in turn. He was pacing back and forth. She could hear the soft sound of his shoes against the floor. She opened her eyes and looked down at his feet. He still wore the converse sneakers she realised with horror. A quick look told her all his clothes were still the same. He just wasn't wearing the jacket. But same pinstriped pants, tighter now that his body had changed, same blue shirt, same tie. Same as when he'd died.

Rose looked up and met his eyes. Whatever he saw in hers made him stop. He stared at her and she wondered if he could see her heart breaking. Because even though this man was the Doctor. That man she'd run so far with, the man who told her he loved her and had sacrificed everything to save her life. He was gone. She would never again feel those exact arms wrap around her and hold on like nothing could ever make him let go.

The Doctor moved towards her.

"Don't cry," he begged. "I can't..." he trailed off. "I'm sorry." But she flinched away again. She couldn't help herself. Touching still hurt. Just the wall at her back, hurt. She saw as for a moment he struggled not to let the pain of her rejection show. He took a couple of deep breaths before he spoke. "Second time was different though," he said, his voice softer but there was a tremble to it as though tears hid within it. "Do you remember the second time?" he asked. She looked up at him but said nothing. A moment ago he'd looked as though he'd like nothing better than to tear the world apart and now he looked as though he'd like nothing more than to mend it. "You asked me who I was," he said. "So I took your hand and I told you. I would have told you anything. You were so beautiful, so..."

"So, what?" she asked when he didn't finish. He smiled to himself.

"So impossible," he said. "It was like you were everything that was good in the universe. Everything I'd lost. Everything I thought I no longer deserved." He looked up at her. "I am sorry," he said again but Rose shook her head.

"I hurt you, you hurt me. Seems only fair."

"No," he immediately refuted. "That is not what we do."

"That is all we do, Doctor," she said, walking over to the bed on trembling legs. She sank down on the edge of it.

"You called me Doctor."

As Rose glanced up at him she could see he was smiling despite the hurt in his eyes. She let her gaze fall again. She didn't smile back. He came over, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"It doesn't have to be that way," he said. "I don't want it to be that way." Even though he wasn't sitting close enough for even their shoulders to brush, Rose still moved away.

"I think I need a moment alone," she said, her voice still raspy.

"Alone?" he asked as though he didn't understand the meaning of the word. She nodded. "But..." he trailed off, pointing towards the door and back at her. "I can't leave you," he said.

"I just need a minute," Rose ground out. "Please."

After a moment he rose from the bed, she could feel his reluctance, the effort it took him to heed her wish.

"Right yes," he said. "Of course." He backed towards the door. "I'll just... give you a minute." He turned and pulled the door opened but before he left he stopped. For a while he said nothing at all. He was so quiet Rose thought for a moment he might have just vanished into thin air.

"I won't..." he began, startling her a little. "I won't loose you will I?" he asked. She could feel his hearts in his words but she had no idea what to tell him. Anything she said would be a promise and she wasn't ready for promises. She just needed to be alone for just a moment. To think and feel without having his presence towering over her, begging her for reassurances she couldn't yet give.

"Just leave me alone," she said.

It was never her intention to hurt him. Not ever. But she knew with those few words she did. He said nothing as he left, shutting the door behind him.

Rose didn't watch him leave. She sat on the bed, her head in her hands, staring at the floor. She didn't see the terror in his eyes or his hands shaking as he closed the door. Instead she focused on her heartbeat. It's familiar rhythm was about the only thing that was holding her together. It's beats were faint. Her whole body was weak. Everything hurt. Breathing hurt, speaking hurt, blinking hurt. Just the friction of her hair against her fingers hurt.

When he'd been inside the room she'd wanted nothing more than for him to leave but now that he was gone she felt lonely. Abandoned.

"Rose?"

Rose shot to her feet, again falling against the vanity when her legs couldn't support her. She stared. That was impossible. Completely impossible.

A woman was standing inside the room, just at the foot of the bed. A woman with a mass of wild curls about her head and a sad smile on her lips. River Song.

"You're dead," Rose told her. "Or you're in a computer or something, you can't be here."

"And yet here I am," River said.

"How?"

"You passed out," River explained.

"I'm dreaming?"

"Yes."

"Of you?" Rose asked in disbelief and River laughed.

"No, I'm just visiting."

"Again, how?" Rose wanted to know.

"There are cracks in the fabric of the universe," River said.

"And that means you can walk through dreams?"

"No, but I can speak to you this way. For now."

"Great," Rose said, sounding as though it was the very opposite of great.

Rose went over and sat back down on the bed. She could understand why she'd passed out. She wasn't tired like she needed sleep she was tired like she couldn't even lift her arm. River watched her with a frown.

"What is it?" she asked after a while "What's happened?" Rose sighed, letting her head fall into her hands. Where would she even begin?

"The Doctor he... he just regenerated," she said, struggling to get the words past the lump in her throat.

"So?" River asked, clearly not quite seeing the problem with this.

"So," Rose drew the word out. "I just lost someone I love."

"I don't understand," River said. "He's still the Doctor."

"Yes," Rose agreed. "He is. But that man. The man you met who even though you hurt him tried so hard to save you, that man is gone." Rose looked up at River. "Those stupid, beautiful brown eyes of his and that damn smile it is all gone." River took a step towards Rose, holding out her hand as though to offer comfort but she halted.

"Are you saying you feel differently about him now that his face is different?" River asked. Rose laughed without humour.

"I doubt it," she said. "But I'm sure he thinks so."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because..." Rose drew in a hasty breath. "Something's wrong with the bond and I freaked out because I couldn't feel him and I thought... I thought he must have died. That I'd failed. And suddenly I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think and I sent him away. I hurt him I know I did but I..." Rose trailed off, not knowing how she could possibly phrase this to River so she'd understand.

"This might be a good thing," River said. Rose looked up at her as though she was mad.

"How could any of this be a good thing?" she asked hopelessly. River took a step forwards.

"Rose, I'm going to have ask you to do something," she said. The sadness in her tone scared Rose.

"Do I want to know what?" Rose asked, thinking she probably definitely didn't.

"No," River said simply. "You don't."

"Am I even going to do this thing you want to ask me to do then?"

"I don't know. But you have to."

"Why?"

"Because," River said sadly. "Because if you don't he is going to die. The Doctor is going to die." Rose felt a pang inside her chest. She'd just been through this. Not again.

"Enough," Rose said, sounding so unbelievably tired. "Enough of this."

"Rose, you have to listen to me," River said, sounding rather desperate. But Rose shook her head.

"No," she said. "I don't."

"Didn't you hear me? He'll die!"

"He just did!" Rose told her angrily.

"Not like this," River insisted. "He's at the end of his regeneration cycle, I assume you know what that means," River said. "No more regenerations. No more lives. This is it Rose, when he dies now it is over."

Rose ran her fingers through her hair. It still hurt. Why was pain the only thing she could feel?

"Do you care for him so little that you'd just sit there and let it happen?" At this Rose shot to her feet. Perhaps it was because she knew she was dreaming or perhaps it was her anger but she didn't falter.

"Say that to me again," she told River, her voice a lethal hiss. "I dare you."

"Look, I know that you love him...-" River began.

"I don't just love him, River," Rose spat. "He is my life. He breathes I breath. Bond or no bond."

"Than you'll do this," River said forcefully.

"Do what?!"

"Leave him!"

It was like sound vanished. Rose would have been sure she'd gone deaf if she couldn't hear the beating of her heart. It pounded in her ears, its rhythm no longer familiar. Perhaps it was because it was broken. That's why it didn't beat as it should. Eventually River's voice somehow managed to reach her. How, she didn't know.

"Rose!"

Rose turned her head slowly, looking at River. "Did you hear what I said?" River asked. She knew what she was asking, Rose thought. She knew exactly.

"You're asking me to die," Rose said.

"You said something was wrong with the bond," River pointed out. "Maybe the Doctor regenerating broke it. It means you can leave him." Rose laughed, a broken sound. "Rose, please," River tried. Rose fixed her with a mocking glare.

"You really think he'd ever agree to that?" Rose asked. "You think there is any part of him that will accept it?"

"He will do what you ask, he always does," River pointed out.

"Not this," Rose said. "Nothing I could ever say would convince him that this is preferable. He'd rather die."

"Are you so sure?" River asked. "He's new now..." Rose looked at her as though she was an idiot. As though her meagre understanding of the bond tying Rose and the Doctor together was laughable.

"I am sure," Rose said. "Because I would." River swallowed hard.

"But to save his life you would sacrifice yours then wouldn't you?"

"In a heartbeat."

"Then you have to do this," River insisted. But Rose shook her head.

""I could never convince him. He would never agree to it."

"Yes, he would," River said. "If..."

"If what?"

"If he thought you didn't want him."

"What?"

"If you make him believe you no longer love him. He won't fight to keep you. He will let you go."

Rose stared at River.

"Are you mad?" she asked with absolute fear. "It will break him."

"I know," River said, tears in her eyes. "Remember, I know him after he loses you. I know what it will do to him."

"And you still ask me to do this?"

"I have to," River said. But Rose shook her head.

"I can't do that. He'll never forgive me."

"Perhaps not," River agreed. "But he'll be alive and the universe needs him, Rose. The universe needs the Doctor." Rose walked over to River. The glare she gave her left no room for argument.

"I won't do that," she ground out between her teeth. "I will never hurt him like that."

She turned away but River stopped her by clasping her arm. It was weird. Rose couldn't feel it. It didn't hurt, it didn't feel anything at all.

"The choice is yours," River said. "But when you see these..." she removed her hand from Rose's arm. Rose glanced down. There were a series of short black lines there as though River had drawn them on with a pen. Four straight ones and a fifth diagonally running through them. Like a count. "You'll know it's time. You'll know I told you the truth. If you stay, silence will fall and the Doctor will die. Lake Silencio, Rose that is where it all ends."

"What are they?" Rose asked, looking at the markings on her arm.

"You'll know in time," River replied. "You're waking up," she told Rose.

Rose could feel the pull to consciousness. The waking world calling her back.

"Why? Rose asked River before she went. "Why will he die if I stay with him?"

"Because there are people he has to meet. People who will love him, who will save his life and if you stay..."

"He won't see them," Rose realised. River nodded.

"He'll only see you."

/

Rose woke up on the floor. Apparently when she'd passed out she'd fallen forwards instead of back. Unlucky. She struggled up. Her body felt bruised. She used the bed to get back on her feet. She remembered her conversation with River perfectly. It was far more vivid than if she'd been just a dream. Rose stumbled towards the door, clasping the handle so she wouldn't fall. Before River she'd wanted nothing more than to be alone and now it seemed to be the last thing she wanted.

Rose got the door opened. Thankfully next to her was a railing. She clasped it tightly, the old wood squeaking beneath her grip. She passed several doors, finally making it to the stairs. She was on the second floor of a big old house. It had that lived- in feel. Which was strange because at the same time it felt rather empty. She struggled down the stairs, focusing on not falling. She followed the sound of voices through the house. Not yet a familiar male one and the voice of a small girl. The Doctor and Amelia Pond. Rose found them in the kitchen. They were sitting by a table opposite each other and if she wasn't mistaken the Doctor seemed to be eating fish fingers and dipping them in... custard?

"Is it weird that I want to try that?" Rose asked. At the sound of her voice the Doctor immediately dropped the food in his hand. He scrambled to his feet.

"Rose..."

Rose stood leaning against the doorjamb, using it to prop herself up. The Doctor moved as though he meant to rush to her but stopped himself. It looked as though he was fighting to keep himself where he was which resulted in him shifting his weight back and forth from foot to foot, never quite standing still.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "You should be lying down. You should be resting." Rose gave him a weak smile.

"Are you eating fish fingers with custard?" Rose asked him, glancing down at the big bowl of custard on the table and the plate of fish fingers next to it.

"No," he said immediately. "Yes." Rose took a tremulous step forwards. "I mean... I don't know," the Doctor stuttered. "I suppose it's quite... disgusting?"

Rose made it halfway across the kitchen before she faltered. The world swam before her and she was thankful as the Doctor caught her.

"Sorry," Rose mumbled. "Dizzy." The Doctor looked around, lost for a moment, not sure what to do. Then he bent down and slid his arm under her knees and lifted her up. Rose winced a little. But now he was standing with a half conscious Rose in his arms in the middle of Amelia's kitchen.

"Do you need help?" Amelia asked. The Doctor looked around searching for a place to put her down.

After a moment of indecision the Doctor strode back to his chair and sat down in it with Rose in his lap. Rose leaned her head against his shoulder. It felt odd, she thought. He was broader than before but he still held her the same. The same tensile strength in his arms and if she listened she could hear the familiar beat of his dual hearts beneath her ear. Though their rhythm was slightly elevated the sound was familiar. She closed her eyes for a moment and let her body settle against his. The same, she thought. Completely different but the same. She swallowed tears that threatened to well up at the thought of the man she'd still lost. She'd never forget him. She'd never forgotten who he was before then either. They had both been so important, so impossible and wonderful. She was sure that would still be true. It would always be true. And she would always love him. Always.

"I got you," the Doctor whispered softly as he ran his fingers through her hair. His fingers brushed against her cheek and she flinched. Immediately he drew away his hand. Rose took a deep breath. She was going to have to explain this to him or he was going to keep thinking she didn't want him to touch her.

Rose lifted her head and looked across the table at Amelia Pond.

"Hello," Rose said. "I'm Rose." The girl nodded.

"He told me about you," Amelia said. Rose felt the Doctor's hearts do a bit of a skip.

"Oh, he did? And what has he been saying?" Rose asked. Amelia dug into some ice cream.

"Just that you saved his life," Amelia said and Rose felt the Doctor give a small sigh of relief. "And something about you being a sun and he was gonna die in darkness...-"

"Ok," the Doctor cut her off. "Eat your ice cream, Pond." Amelia frowned as she dropped her gaze to her ice cream.

"Didn't really understand that part anyway," she said.

Rose reached out and took one of the fish fingers from the plate and dipped it in the custard. She took a big bite out of it as both Amelia and the Doctor watched her. She swallowed.

"That is surprisingly good," she said, popping the rest of it in her mouth.

"See," the Doctor said and Rose could hear the smile in his voice. "Fish fingers and custard, I should open up a restaurant."

"If you're not police..." Amelia asked. "..then why are you here?"

"Why? Do you need the police?" the Doctor wondered. Amelia shook her shoulders.

"Hey," Rose said kindly. Amelia looked up at her. "You can tell us," she said. "Maybe we can help."

"There's a scary crack in my wall," Amelia said.

"Why is it scary?" Rose asked.

"At night, there's voices. Everyone says it's just and ordinary crack but I know it isn't."

The Doctor was just about to open his mouth when a loud noise tolled through the night, like a bell being struck. The Doctor froze.

"No. Oh, no." He almost jumped out of his seat. He would have if Rose hadn't been sitting in his lap. Somehow he managed to rise with her still in his arms and deposit her on the chair he'd been sitting on. "I'll be right back," he told her, reaching out to brush his fingers against her cheek but stopped himself. He gave her a small smile before twirling around and rushing out of the house.

"Where is he going?" Amelia asked.

"It's the TARDIS," Rose said, struggling to her feet. She recognised the tolling sound.

"What's a TARDIS?" Amelia asked as she came over to Rose.

"Blue box," Rose explained. "Travels in time and space."

Amelia held out her hand for Rose and she gratefully took it. The two of them made their way out of the house, hurrying as fast as they could after the Doctor.

They found him in the garden. It was a nice garden. Roses and greenery and a crashed TARDIS. The Doctor was running around, muttering no, no, no over and over again.

"Doctor, what is going on?" Rose asked him. He halted and looked over at her.

"I never get tired of hearing you call me that," he said, smiling wide.

"Doctor, the TARDIS," Rose pointed out, nodding towards the blue box behind him. The alarm was still blaring, smoke was billowing out around the old ship.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, twirling around. "The engines are phasing! It's gonna burn!" He pulled opened the doors and a great big cloud of smoke burst forth. He coughed and waved his arms to get the smoke out of his face.

"That travels in time and space?" Amelia asked with disbelief. Rose smiled down at her.

"Anywhere and everywhere," she told her. Amelia looked back up at Rose.

"Can I come?" she asked, wonderful childlike wonder in her eyes. Rose recognised that look. She'd worn it herself. So many times.

"What do you say, Doctor?" Rose called to him. He was halfway inside the TARDIS. He leaned back so he could see them. "Can Amelia Pond come along?" The Doctor's lips spread into a wonderful smile.

"Brilliant idea," he said. "But first." He turned back to the ship that looked as though it was going to blow up at any moment. "I need to sort this. Not safe right now. Five minute hop into the future should stabilise the engines. Five minutes you two." He began to leave.

"Doctor!" Rose called after him and his face popped back out. "Five minutes, yeah?"

His eyes became serious, intently focused on Rose's. He left the TARDIS and walked over to them.

"Promise," he said. Rose nodded. She trusted him. She always would. Foolishly perhaps but she still would. He glanced down at Amelia where she stood next to Rose, holding her hand. He hunkered down in front of her. "You take care of her," he told Amelia, glancing at Rose. "She's very precious to me." Amelia nodded.

"I know," she said. "She's your sun." The Doctor smiled a little.

"Just so," he said. He bopped Amelia on the nose and straightened. He halted, looking at Rose. She could see how dearly he wanted to reach for her. But he was waiting for her permission. Somehow she knew she was going to regret not giving it to him. But she didn't anyway. She couldn't. She gave him a weak smile.

"Five minutes," she said. He nodded, again he tried to hide that her rejection had hurt him and perhaps the smile on his face would have hid it from anyone else but Rose could still see it.

"Five minutes," he agreed.

He hurried back to the TARDIS. The minute he stepped inside, the doors closed shut behind him and Rose felt as though someone had reached a fist inside her chest and just squeezed her heart. Tightly. So tightly for a moment she feared her heart might stop. It got worse as the familiar whining sound of the TARDIS rang in her ears, a wind blowing her hair out of her face and the light at the top of the blue box blinking in tune as the ship vanished.

Five minutes, she told herself. He'd be back in five minutes


	49. Chapter 49 - Five minutes

Chapter 49 - Five minutes

"Five minutes!" the Doctor called as he ran around the console. Or rather what was left of it. He climbed up onto it, leaning across to reach a lever. He pulled the lever down and the TARDIS landed roughly, knocking the Doctor off the console to the floor. But he was back on his feet in no time. He'd felt it as he left. That ache in his chest. It had used to terrify him because it meant that Rose was far away. But now it meant that he was still tied to her. He had to be.

The Doctor rushed across the room and flew out of the doors, expecting to see Rose and Amelia waiting for him outside. They weren't. And it was no longer nighttime. It was day. The middle of the day. He'd gotten it wrong.

"Rose!" he screamed as he ran for Amelia's house. "Rose!" He barged through the front door. "Rose! I'm back!" he called as he ran through the house, desperately searching. "I got the timing a bit wrong!" he called.

"What are you doing in my house?"

The Doctor spun around. A policewoman was standing in the doorway to the living room. She was long and slender, leaning her shoulder against the doorjamb.

"I suggest you get out before I call for backup," she told him.

"Where's Rose?" he asked. The woman straightened.

"Rose?"

"Yes, Rose! Blonde girl, stubborn, a smile that can light up a room and truly excruciatingly jeopardy friendly." The policewoman took a step back.

"She isn't here," she said. The Doctor ran frustrating fingers through his hair.

"What about the girl?" he barked. "The little Scottish girl, Amelia Pond."

"Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time," the woman said. She was still backing away from him.

"How long?' the Doctor asked, stalking after her, feeling his hearts beating so fast inside his chest that he was sure he was going to give himself a heart attack. "How long?!" he screamed when the girl wouldn't answer him.

"Six months," she told him.

Six months.

No. He couldn't have left Rose alone for six months. No. He said five minutes. He shook his head in hopeless denial as he stumbled back a step. He'd left her. Left her. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He was always thinking, his mind constantly working but right then it stopped. Froze. Dead. And then he looked at the policewoman. Properly for the first time. The eyes, the dilated pupils, the red hair hidden away in her cap.

"Six months..." He looked at her, feeling dread turning to horror. "Why did you say six months?" he asked, actually surprised he could even speak. "You're lying. Why?" She took another couple of steps back. He could see the fear in her eyes but he made no attempt to easy it. He didn't care if she feared him. Perhaps it was better if she did. Perhaps then she would stop lying to him. "Tell me how long," he said, stalking towards her. "Tell me!" he screamed. She squeezed her eyes shut as though she was steeling herself for a blow.

"Tw...twelve years," she stuttered.

It felt as though the earth dropped away beneath his feet. He fell against the doorjamb, clutching on to it desperately. Twelve years. Twelve years. Twelve years.

"Doctor?" the policewoman asked carefully. Very, very carefully.

"You're Amelia," he said. "You're the little girl." He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was like his whole body had grown numb. "I got it wrong." He let his forehead rest against the doorjamb. "Where's Rose?" he asked, knowing every bit of what he felt was in his voice.

"I don't know," Amelia answered.

"Just tell me where she is," he said, his voice sounding broken even to his own ears. He'd been this for all of a few hours and he'd already managed to let her down beyond repair. Rose Tyler. The girl he'd love until the day he died. And he'd abandoned her. Abandoned her for twelve years. Twelve years for him was a flicker, a blink of an eye. However bright that flicker might be. But for a human. For a human twelve years was a lifetime. So much could happen. Amelia Pond was proof of that. The last time he'd seen her she'd been a little girl and now she was grown. What had happened to Rose in that time? His beautiful, beautiful Rose who was perhaps too human to love him anymore. But at least then there had been a chance. Perhaps he could have won her heart again. At least he could have tried. But twelve years. He'd left her behind for twelve years. Nothing he could ever do was going to fix this.

"I really don't know," Amelia said. "She hasn't been here for a long time."

"Tell me what happened," he said, still not sure how he was even standing. He knew he was clutching the doorframe so tightly his fingers were beginning to ache, the wood squeaking in protest beneath his panicked grip. None of that seemed to matter. He didn't care if he broke the wood into splinters or if he cracked the bones of his fingers. He vaguely heard Amelia talking, answering his question, telling him what had happened. The crack in her wall, something had come out of it. A prisoner zero. Shapeshifting alien. Dangerous. But Rose had saved them. Returned the thing to its jailers. After that she'd waited for a while, Amelia said. Then one night she'd told Amelia goodbye and she'd left. Amelia had no idea where she might have gone.

"Somewhere familiar," the Doctor muttered. "She'd go somewhere familiar. Some place she'd know. Where she could find someone to help her." He straightened. Jack. Surely she'd go to Cardiff and Torchwood. She would find Jack because he might have been able to help.

The Doctor pushed away from the doorframe, forcing himself to stay on his feet. He had a heading. He would find her. If only he could feel her like he used to he would have been able to find her in a heartbeat. He rubbed his hand over his chest. It was really starting to hurt. Almost as much as when... when he thought he'd lost her. Unsuccessfully he tried to shake the feeling. He had to focus. He left Amelia Pond and hurried out of the house.

"Doctor!" she called after him, but he wasn't stopping. "Let me come with you," she said, hurrying after him. "Let me help."

"No," he said.

"You didn't just promise her," Amelia pointed out. "You promised me too." He stopped and turned on her.

"Do you remember what I said to you about her when you were little?" he asked her. There was no kindness in his tone, no softness. There was only one thing that mattered to him at that moment.

"Something about her being your sun," Amelia said. "And the world was dark without her."

"That was nothing," he spat. "Not even half of it. She's not the sun, she is everything. She runs through me like blood." He pointed towards his arm for emphasis, indicating the blue veins snaking beneath his pale skin. He could much less let go of his love for Rose as cut out his own heart. "Without her there isn't darkness there is nothing. Hell, Amelia. Cold and hollow and endless!" He gesticulated harshly with his hands, every movement wrought with anger and panic.

Amelia, not so surprisingly held her ground despite his anger.

"Do you understand?" he asked her, his voice hard and unforgiving. Amelia nodded.

"There isn't anything you won't do," Amelia said. "Nothing that will stop you."

"And you still want to come with me, Amelia Pond?" he asked. He watched as she pulled herself up.

"Yes," she said. Brave. Just as brave as when she'd been just a girl, he thought. "And it's Amy."

"Very well, Amy." The Doctor put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the TARDIS key. It was glowing, pulsing. The TARDIS was done. All the calibrations finished, the eye of harmony stabilised.

He turned to look at his beautiful ship. She was a bluer blue than before. Looked like the old girl had given herself a paint job. A smile tugged at his lips as he walked over. He ran his hand over the wood. Hope you're ready for this, he thought as he put the key in the lock and twisted it. He pushed opened the doors and walked into a big room. Far bigger than it had been. No longer a ramp leading up to the console but a wide space taking him to a set of stairs. He walked up them to a platform holding the centre console. It was still shaped in much the same manner. But the monitor appeared to be attached to the top. He could still pull it around with him though. Gone was the grated floor, instead it looked to be made of something similar to plexiglass. The space was not only bigger but brighter, not as dark and grungy as before. But even though this was perhaps flashier and maybe even more efficiently constructed he still found himself missing the old setting a little. It had been so raw and stripped down. Like it was breathing the very heart of the old ship and all that she had been through.

He ran his hand along the console. You're beautiful, he thought to the ship. You'll help me find her, won't you? He looked up at the time rotor at the centre of the console and the TARDIS gave a low sweet sound as to reassure him. A part of the console whizzed and out came something shiny. The Doctor reached over and picked it out. A new screwdriver. Bigger than the last one. He pointed it a head of him. A green light instead of blue lit up the tip.

"Trying to cheer me up?" he told the TARDIS, thankful that she was trying. He flicked the screwdriver into the air and caught it easily. He'd done that a million times after all.

"Oh, my god," Amy was breathing from behind him as she made her way up the stairs. "She wasn't kidding. She said there was a whole world in here."

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed, pulling the big lever to get the TARDIS going. He didn't have time for the whole -it's bigger on the inside- thing.

Next stop Cardiff.

But it soon became rather evident that they were not heading for Cardiff.

"What is going on?!" Amy shouted as she clung to the console for dear life.

"How should I know!" the Doctor shouted back as the ship shook.

"I thought this was your ship!" Amy reminded him.

"Yeah, well that doesn't necessarily mean she listens to me!"

"She?!"

The Doctor didn't answer as he pulled himself over to the monitor, grabbing it and staring at the readout. Huon particles. Oh, he was so stupid. Stupid, stupid Doctor. The bond between him and Rose might not work like it should but she still had Huon particles in her blood which meant the TARDIS could find her. The TARDIS would always be able to find her.

A rather violent shake made both the Doctor and Amy loose their grip and they tumbled to the floor.

"You ok?" the Doctor asked Amy but all he got was a series of giggles in return. The Doctor got to his feet, hurrying over to the redhead on the floor, not sure if the giggles were do to hysteria or just amusement. He stared down at her.

"Amy?" he asked, a little worried at the noises she was making. She looked up at him, suppressing her laughter.

"Fine," she assured him and he held out his hand for her. She took it and he pulled her up. "Where are we?" Amy straightened her short skirt and cleared her throat, trying to regain some sense of severity.

The Doctor looked at the monitor.

"Way away," he said. "We're not even on Earth."

"We.. we're in space?" Amy asked. He could hear a hint of excitement in her voice. He wished he could have done this better. Under different circumstances he was sure he would have liked to show Amy Pond the universe.

The Doctor ran down the stairs and over to the door. There he stopped with his hand on the handle. He glanced down at himself. He was still in his old clothes, torn and ragged. He remembered how Rose's gaze had run over him back in Amy's room and tears had filled her eyes as she saw he was still wearing those same clothes. If she by some miracle was out there. If the TARDIS had taken him to her then he had to do everything he could, everything he could possibly think of to somehow make this better. He turned and nearly bumped into Amy, hurrying past her.

"What are you doing?!" she called after him.

"I need to change my shirt!" he called back and disappeared inside the TARDIS.

He quickly located the huge wardrobe. It had grown over the years. By now it was several floors, filled to the brink with all manner of clothes from different worlds and different ages. It also held all the outfits he'd favoured in the past, discarded beneath mountains of others. But if he searched he'd probably be able to find them all. He wondered if the echo of who he'd been could still be felt between the threads. If he held them could he more easily remember the men he'd been. The things he'd valued and loved. He could vow and promise to Rose that he was the same man and essentially he was, at his core he was. But every time he regenerated he did change. It would be a lie to say he didn't. And he didn't want to lie. Not to her. Not ever again.

The Doctor rummaged through the rather impressive wardrobe, discarding long coats and ties. He needed something that said he was still the same man but didn't remind her of what she'd lost. Some part of him realised that at the end of the day it wouldn't matter what he wore. But he had to try. What else did he have?

Eventually he settled for dark pants, a cream coloured shirt and a tweed jacket. He found he simply couldn't resist a pair of suspenders but he still felt like something was missing. For some reason a memory of Rose flashed by his mind. A memory of being with her. How she'd wrap her fingers around his tie and pull him close. He needed something around his neck. Something... He rummaged through some drawers, growing increasingly more desperate. Until something red fell out and landed at his feet. He bent down and picked it up, a smile spreading on his face. Perfect.

He looped it around his neck and tied it quickly, rushing out of the wardrobe and back to the console room. Amy was standing by the door, leaning against the wall, waiting for him. He held out his arms and spun in front of her.

"What do you think?" he asked. "Will it do?" Amy looked him up and down. She wrinkled her nose as her eyes stopped at his collar.

"A bowtie?" she asked sceptically. He reached up and straightened it.

"Bowties are cool," he said defensively.

"If you say so," Amy said. He glared a little at her as he walked past but she just smiled at him. He got the sense that Amy Pond was quite brilliant. Just as he had with Donna. Like if things were different they might have played a larger role in his life. So if someone had to stand and watch his destruction perhaps there was none better. Perhaps Amy would even pick up the broken pieces. Because there was no doubt in his mind that there would be a lot of broken pieces. Which he'd rightly deserve. Who knew what kind of state he'd find Rose in.

The thought made the Doctor stop, again with his hand on the door handle.

"Doctor?" Amy asked softly from behind him.

"What if she actually is out there?" he asked.

"What do you mean? Isn't that what you want?"

"Twelve years. Twelve years, Amy." He shook his head. "How could she ever forgive me for this?" He felt Amy's hand on his shoulder.

"She deserves to know why you were gone," Amy said. "You owe her that."

He nodded, drawing in a hasty breath. He pulled opened the door and stepped out before he had a chance to think anymore about it. The minute he did a laser blast whisked past, missing his head by inches. He ducked. Amy came out of the TARDIS after him and immediately he clasped her hand and yanked her down a mere millisecond before she would have gotten shot. He looked around frantically. They were in a hallway. High polished floors made of some kind of green stone, walls of something resembling oak and coming running down the hallway was a platoon of Jadoon. More laser blasts blew past, some striking the TARDIS. His new shiny TARDIS.

"Watch the paint job!" he shouted angrily as he realised that it wasn't the Judoon that were firing. They were running away from whoever was doing the shooting.

"Why did you land us in a war?!" Amy growled at him.

"It's not my fault!" he told her. The Judoon ran past them, always in formation, their heavy feet drumming against the stone floor.

He wasn't sure why but something made him look up. Just as the Judoon turned a corner up ahead there was a break in their ranks and through it he saw a wisp of blonde hair. It was whipped back and as his eyes met hers for only a second everything stopped. And he thought he could see everything in that single scrap of time. All the stars and all the worlds in the universe, every past and every future as though they burned at the heart of time itself. With him. Rose.

The Doctor shot to his feet as she disappeared with the Judoon. He ran after her. He didn't even think, couldn't even remember that there were someone still shooting.

"Doctor!" Amy screamed as she ran after him. But he wasn't listening. The Judoon had Rose. The fragile truce they'd struck with the Architect was apparently broken. He thought of Rose in one of those black cells he'd broken Annabelle Conn out of and felt his stomach turn. You couldn't put something as beautiful and free as Rose Tyler in a cage. It was a violation. A breach of the very laws of nature. She should always be free. Always.

The Judoon were efficient and mercenary but thankfully they weren't very fast. The Doctor caught up with them at the end of the next hallway. They shot the locking mechanism of a door that slid opened, all of them rushing inside. He scrambled in after them, Amy just managing to get in before the door slid shut behind her.

They were standing in a big room. The floor was the same green, high polished stone, a long red carpet ran from where they were standing to what looked like a set of three thrones up on big dais. Huge archways covered one wall and seemed to be built out of trees made of gold, growing out of the floor and curving their leaf covered branches over the arches. They were so realistic it was as though someone had poured liquid gold over living trees and let the metal harden. The bright light from outside fell on the floor and caught on individual small shards in the green stone making it sparkle like emeralds. Banners in red and white hung from the high ceiling overhead.

"That should hold them for a while."

Rose. Rose's voice. The Doctor spun around. She stepped away from the door, her back to him. Her blonde hair was tied into two french braids but most of it had come undone. Turn around, he begged silently. He was starved for her face. It didn't matter that, to him it had only been a short while since he'd seen her. It felt like a lifetime. She turned.

Oh, he'd never known beauty quite like hers, he thought. Because her beauty wasn't contained to her face. It shone out of her, brightening everything it touched. Perhaps it was only his love for her speaking, he thought. He wouldn't exactly call himself objective where she was concerned.

But she was healthy. Not weak and frail as last he'd seen her. There was colour in her cheeks and her eyes were alight. She looked as strong and alive as ever.

Her name was on his lips but it fell silent as she strode past without even looking at him.

"We need to get back to the ship," she told the Judoon. "These Tharzies are a pain."

"Ship is ready and waiting," One of the Judoon informed her. The Doctor stared as it dawned on him. He had thought she was a captive. That the Shadow proclamation had gotten it into their heads that she might be a danger again but Rose wasn't a captive at all. She was clearly the one in charge. He'd thought to rush to her rescue but she didn't need saving.

"Rose..." The Doctor finally managed to get sound past his lips. But Rose acted as though he hadn't said a word.

"Show me a map," she told one of the Judoon. The Judoon held up a small device, undoubtedly showing her the map she'd asked for. "If we cut through here," she said, pointing to the map. "We should be able to reach the ship before they get to it." The Judoon nodded their agreement. "Alright, boys," she told the big rhino-looking Judoon. "Let's get going."

And they all headed away across the big throne room as though the Doctor and Amy weren't even there. Amy came over to the Doctor's side, putting a comforting hand on his arm.

"She didn't even look at me," he said, his voice filled with hurt disbelief. Whatever he might have expected it had not been this. Never this. Not even at the end of all the universe would he ever have thought that they'd mean nothing to each other.

"I'm sorry," Amy told him.

"It was like I wasn't even there." This was worse, he thought. He'd suffered her hate and her mistrust but indifference? Indifference was far worse than hate could ever be.

The Doctor tore free from Amy's hold and strode after Rose. He couldn't accept this, he thought. He deserved her hatred. He deserved whatever hurtful words she'd want to throw at him, even actual things being thrown at him. But this. Her not even caring. It was a lie. They could never be nothing to each other. Not ever. No amount of time or regenerations could do that.

"Rose!" he called after her. She didn't even slow her pace. "Rose!" Nothing. He ran over, pushing his way past the Judoon. He clasped her arm, pulling her to a stop. Immediately the Judoon where there. They grabbed him roughly, his grip slipping from Rose as they tossed him away. He spun back towards them, anger and humiliation flaring in his chest.

"Easy," he told them. "I know her." He pointed towards Rose who had not yet turned around. The Judoon had placed themselves in front of him, shielding her. "Rose!" he called again. There was no reaction from her. None at all. The Doctor moved forwards, ready to fight his way to her if he had to. But the big, burly Judoon simply pushed him away.

"Stay back," one of them warned him.

"I know her!" he insisted. "Rose!" he called to her again. "Just look at me!" The Doctor pushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry! You have no idea how much! Rose, please! It was an accident! I would never leave you behind you know that!" His hearts were fluttering madly inside his chest. Panic was beginning to run along his nerves. He couldn't have ruined this for good. He couldn't. "Rose!"

He watched as she turned slowly back around. She raised her gaze and her eyes met his. There was no hint of emotion within them. Nothing he could read. No anger. No hate. And certainly no joy at seeing him again. He mouthed her name silently.

"Doctor," she said. He didn't think he'd ever heard her say his name like that. As though she spoke the title not the name. He'd heard many variations through the years. Some spoke it with confusion, adoration, or relief. Other's with anger or distain. Rose had often said it with love. With just that little spark of affection that let him know he was important to her. He'd heard her sigh it passion, pulled from her lips without conscious thought. She'd even screamed it in hate, spitting it out of her mouth as though it was foul or pleaded it in fear, the word torn from the very heart of her. But never had he heard her utter it with no inflection at all.

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak but no sound came. He might even have stopped breathing, he wasn't sure. Perhaps he'd forgotten how. Surely there was no use in knowing how to when Rose Tyler was looking at him as though he meant nothing.

Rose gave him one final glance and then she turned and walked away again, the Judoon quickly followed, moving into formation around her. It was the strangest feeling, the Doctor thought. As though something essential was torn from him. Ripped out. He felt gutted. What was he if Rose no longer cared for him?

"Doctor." It was Amelia, hunkering down in front of him. He wasn't even aware he'd fallen. He was the Doctor, he thought. That's who he was. But how could he be that without Rose? She'd been his compass. She'd been his soul. "Get up," Amy told him. Some loud banging echoed through the room but it was a distant thing. He imagined whoever was chasing Rose and the Judoon were trying by force to get through the door she'd sealed. "You have to get up!" Amy insisted. But he couldn't get his muscles to move. Nothing seemed to work. He stared at his hands, feeling as though their shape and use were completely foreign to him. "Rose!" Amy screamed and Rose actually stopped. She glanced back over her shoulder.

Her face he knew. It was seared into him. Even if he wanted to he could never tear it out. It was a part of him as much as the blood pumping through his veins. He was Gallifreyan and this is how they loved long before they were Time Lords. This was exactly why as Time Lord's they'd no longer been allowed. Because loving like this was dangerous when you had the power to bend time and space to your desires and you only desired one thing.

The Doctor could feel Rose's eyes on him but he didn't meet them. He couldn't bear to see that look in her eyes again. The look that told him she no longer wanted him. That he was utterly alone once more. "Help me!" Amy called. There was a moment of indecision and then Rose turned to the Judoon, telling them something. She ran over to Amy and the Doctor while the Judoon continued on without her. And suddenly her face swam into focus in front of his. He hadn't expected that she would come back. Why had she come back?

"Get up," Rose told him and for a moment he was too stunned to even understand what she'd said.

"Why?" he asked then, looking at her with all the incomprehension he felt. Why should he get up? What was the point in doing that? He saw a flash of something in Rose's eyes. Some spark of fire.

"Because you are not weak," she said, grabbing his arm. "And you're still needed. Now, get up!"

Rose practically hauled him to his feet, his legs shaky as he regained his balance. Her hand was suddenly at his chest, pressed right between his hearts. He stared at her in surprise.

"Breathe," she told him, her eyes focused on his. He gasped, realising he really had just simply stopped breathing. "Good," she said as he matched his intake of breath with hers. "Good." Instinctively he reached his mind towards hers. If things had still been the same it is what he would have done. And if things were still the same she would have met him. She didn't. All he met was a wall. Not the kind of mental wall she'd put up before to try and shield her emotions from him. It felt different.

"You with me?" Rose asked him.

"Always," he replied. It startled her, her hand dropping from where it still rested against his chest.

A loud bang suddenly made Rose's attention snap away. The door they'd entered through blew off its hinges, crashing to floor. A Guard of surely twenty men spilled in from the opening, their armour polished and shining, weapons raised. Rose took a step back from the Doctor and sighed.

"Now look what you've gone and done," she said.

"Me?" The Doctor's voice rose to a pitch as he looked from the guards to Rose. "It was not me they were shooting at," he pointed out.

"No, but you were the one who thought it a good a idea to sit on the floor during an escape...-"

"You were walking away from me," he interrupted her since this was quite enough of a reason. Rose turned her gaze to his.

"You walked away first," she pointed out and he felt pain lash though his gut at that.

"Not on purpose," he said. "Rose you have to...-" the Doctor began but Amy cut him off.

"Guys," she interrupted, pulling their attention away from each other. "Sorry, but perhaps you can talk about this later?" She nodded towards the guards, their guns trained on the three of them.

They watched as a man with hair green as moss and cheekbones sharp enough to cut paper strode into the room. He was dressed in the colours of the banners overhead, a blazing crest of a shimmering golden tree on his chest. He had the air of arrogance and self importance that came to being born to power. The Doctor would bet his new bowtie on one of those thrones belonging to him. The man's eyes immediately fixed on Rose

"You took what I didn't give you, wolf," he said, his voice petulant. It took only a moment for Rose to gather herself.

"You changed the terms of the agreement, prince," Rose pointed out, turning towards the prince and placing her hands behind her back.

"I thought the terms fair." A greedy smile spread on the prince's lips.

"Fair or not a deal is a deal," Rose informed him. She pulled up her sleeve behind her back so the Doctor was the only one who saw what was on her wrist.

Suddenly a lot of things made sense. How she was here, so far away from Earth and her time, why she'd been ok with sending the Judoon on ahead. Because around her wrist was a vortex manipulator. The Doctor had forgotten she had it. And this meant there was no way of knowing how much time had passed for her. It could have been two months or twenty years.

"Yes," the prince agreed. "I've heard that about you. The Shadow proclamations little wolf. Never goes back on a deal. Always keeps her word."

The Doctor started in surprise. Rose was working for the Shadow Proclamation? With the Architect who had wanted nothing more than to lock her up last time they'd seen her? That made absolutely no sense. Except how else did she have a Jadoon platoon to order around?

"Then you should also know it isn't wise to cross me," Rose warned. The prince laughed.

"I just wanted to see you howl," the man said, smiling like a boy eyeing a delicious piece of candy.

"Trust me," Rose said. "You really don't." And the Doctor remembered the way Rose's eyes could turn bright gold, energy pulsing through her like fire. He felt a rush of fear. If she still had all that running through her veins there was no telling what destruction would follow if she let it run wild. If the wolf howled so to speak. She could lay waste to the entire room, the entire planet. Instinctively the Doctor moved towards her.

"Rose..." a warning for her to be careful in his tone. She glanced at the Doctor, her eyes their normal, familiar colour and he relaxed slightly. She turned back to the prince.

"We'll just be on our way, your highness," she said.

The Doctor discreetly motioned Amy closer, knowing what Rose was planning on doing. The prince didn't seem to notice. His attention was on Rose like a hound on point. The Doctor wondered if the prince was aware that should it come down to it he was the rabbit not the hound.

"On your way?" he mocked. "I think not." He indicated the Guard around him with a delicate flourish of his hand. "Either you give back what you took or I'll simply take it from your cold dead fingers. You won't be so pretty after I've had you shot."

"Ok," Rose said and both the Doctor and Amy looked from Rose to the prince and back again in alarm. "Shoot us."

"What?" the Doctor asked, startled. "No, don't shoot us. No shooting. Rose!"

"Go ahead," Rose said.

"Rose, maybe don't taunt the guys with the guns," Amy suggested under her breath. Rose smiled.

"I dare you," she told the prince and gave him a wink. At the same moment Rose activated the manipulator. The Doctor lunged for her, pulling Amy with him.

They saw the light as the guns fired but the blasts never reached them. They were savagely yanked forwards and falling down at the same time. Hurtling through empty space at blinding speeds only to suddenly slam into solid ground.

The Doctor just managed to catch himself against the TARDIS while Rose stood absolutely still as though she'd done this a hundred times. And for all the Doctor knew she had. He could tell they'd travelled in space but not time. They'd simply teleported back to where he'd parked the TARDIS.

The Doctor glanced up at Rose as she looked around the hall.

"Doctor," she said. "Where's Amy?" The Doctor used the TARDIS to push himself up straight. He stared around in disbelief. He and Rose were the only ones standing in the hallway. There was no sign of Amy. "Didn't you grab her?!" Rose accused.

"I did," he professed. He had. He looked down at his hand. He could still feel the memory of Amy's as he'd clasped it. "I must have lost her," he said, remembering the guards firing right before they were torn away. He looked over at Rose. "What if she got hit?" he asked.

Rose met his eyes for a moment then she turned away and strode over to the wall. She began examining it.

"I need your screwdriver," she said, holding out her hand. The Doctor reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled it out, putting it into her outstretched hand. She took it and froze, staring at it. Rose pressed the button, the tip lighting up green.

"You got a new one," she said.

"Yeah, the old one... it was broken," The Doctor scratched his head. "Couldn't get it to work and you know... new, new Doctor. New, new sonic screwdriver." He laughed nervously. Rose had her back to him so he couldn't see her expression and no bond meant he had no way of telling what she was feeling.

"It's bigger," Rose remarked and ran the sonic over the wall.

"I am not compensating for anything," the Doctor stupidly assured.

"Good to... know."

A panel of the wall finally released and Rose pulled it opened, drawing out a section that held something that looked much like a laptop. Rose opened it, the screen lighting up. She handed the sonic back to the Doctor over her shoulder. The Doctor took it without comment, putting it back inside his pocket.

Rose ran her fingers rapidly over the keys until the screen showed her what she wanted. Which was security footage of the throne room.

"She's alive." The Doctor came up to Rose's side, feeling relief flood through him at the sight of Amy. She was standing between two guards with the prince pacing before her.

"Well, she is a policewoman after all," the Doctor said. Rose glanced at him.

"Dressed like that?" Rose pointed out and the Doctor glanced back at her.

"She's in a uniform," he said.

"Doesn't mean she protects and serves," Rose remarked.

The prince was gesticulating madly. He looked rather upset. The Doctor and Rose watched as the guards took a hold of Amy and strode off with her, disappearing out of the frame.

"Where are they taking her?" the Doctor asked with worry.

"Hang on." Rose's finger ran over the keys. She flipped through image after image until finally they spotted Amy and the guards again. "There she is."

"Where is that? Where are they going?" the Doctor wanted to know.

"Let's see."

They followed Amy and the guards on the security cameras as they walked down the halls.

"They're probably taking her somewhere they can detain her," Rose said thoughtfully.

"What? Like a dungeon? Do they have dungeons?" Rose gave him a sideways look.

"Yes, Doctor," she said with sarcasm. "Of course they have dungeons and also dragons." The Doctor crossed his arms over his chest.

"They could have dragons," he muttered churlishly. Rose tapped away at the keys, the picture changing, following Amy and the guards.

"Are there dragons?" Rose asked then. "Like anywhere, I mean?"

"The universe is wast and ridiculous," the Doctor said. "There are Cheata people, Krynoids, headless monks, sea devils and red things covered in suckers. Of course there are dragons."

Rose folded the screen back down and pushed it back in, closing the panel.

"Ok, let's go," she said and headed off as though she hadn't really paid much attention to his answer. The Doctor scrambled to follow.

"Wait! Rose, where are we going?"

"We're getting Amy, o' course," she said over her shoulder. She walked over to another wall. "Sonic," she said, holding out her hand again.

"Yes, ok but how?" the Doctor asked. "How exactly do we do that?" Rose turned towards him. "I mean, is there a plan? Or an idea perhaps? Maybe even a thought?" She reached into his jacket pocket, making him very effectively shut up. The Doctor held his breath as she retrieved the screwdriver, silently wishing he'd been quicker in giving it to her. She took it as though it was nothing, turning back to the wall. She ran the screwdriver over it as she continued walking.

"We are going to head them off," Rose informed him. She stopped, dropping to her knees and traced the sonic over an area close to the floor. The Doctor had no idea what she was up to. Usually it was him running around and pulling her along. Now it was the other way around.

"Rose?" he asked carefully.

"Mmhm." She kept her focus on the screwdriver as she worked.

"How long?"

"How long, what?"

"You know, what."

At first it seemed as though she wouldn't answer.

"A while," she said then. There was a small pop and a new section of the wall released. Rose pulled it opened.

"What is it with these walls?" the Doctor asked, looking around at them with newfound suspicion.

"It's this thing," Rose replied. "They hide everything in the walls. Nothing should be out in the open."

"Seems devious"

"They are devious," Rose confirmed. "Now, come on." She crawled into the man- sized hole she'd uncovered. The Doctor got down on his knees and followed.

The space inside was spacious enough to sit in without having to bend over.

"Pardon me," Rose said and leaned right over his lap. Instantly he pushed his back flat against the wall. She reached over and pulled the hatch shut behind them and the Doctor prayed she'd hurry up and get off him. She put her hand on his thigh to push herself back and he jumped in surprise, hitting his head on the ceiling.

"Ouch," he growled.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault," he muttered as he rubbed at his head. Rose was still really close, her hand still on his thigh. His eyes caught on hers. She didn't move. "Rose..." He watched her wearily. "What are you doing?" He felt her hand against his chest but he was too caught up in her eyes to glance down and see what she was doing. To his complete and utter surprise her hand stole in beneath his jacket and he was sure she must be able to feel his hearts thundering inside his chest.

He wanted to grab her and kiss her. He thought he might never have wanted it more. But kissing Rose had never been simple. No matter how much time they'd spent together they had never had a chance to fall into that relaxed way of being close. Not since long before the bond. And even then every touch had been wrought with yearning for what he knew he couldn't have. She might not have known it but back then he'd taken every excuse. Every opportunity to touch her and repeatedly tried to convince himself it was enough.

It hadn't been. He didn't think it ever could be. Not with them. Not for him.

Rose put the sonic back inside his jacket pocket and his brain finally caught up to what she was doing.

"Thanks," she said and turned away. "This leads to a set of passages that should let us get ahead of them."

Rose crawled away as the Doctor stared after her. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steady his erratic beating hearts. But to no avail. He was a mess. A mess of fear and doubt and loss. And once again he was earning for what he most likely never could have again. Fate was a cruel master. Giving her to him and repeatedly taking her away. He was afraid that one of these times he was going to fall because of it and he wouldn't be getting back up again.

The Doctor forced himself to move, following after Rose. Soon the small space widened enough for them to easily stand but it was still tight enough that their shoulders brushed the walls as they walked.

"How do you even have any idea where to go?" the Doctor wondered, clearing his throat when the words came out as nothing much more than a croak.

"Well, I did my best to memorise a map of the building before we got here," Rose said. "Not sure I really remember it all though."

They followed the twist and turns through the walls. Rose only hesitating now and then at intersections.

"So exactly how long is a while?" the Doctor asked.

"Maybe we should just focus on getting Amy," Rose suggested. "Before they throw her in a dungeon guarded by dragons."

"Was that a joke, Rose Tyler?" the Doctor asked. She didn't answer and he couldn't tell much by just the back of her head. "If nothing else we used to have fun, you know," he said. "Do you remember that?"

"I do," she admitted. "I also remember you saying you'd be back in five minutes."

The Doctor felt a horrible twinge of guilt. He'd promised he would never leave her again. He'd sworn it on his life. On every life. But as soon as he'd changed he'd broken that promise. Unintentionally perhaps but broken it none the less. And he had no idea how to make it up to her. Especially since she appeared to be rather uninterested in even letting him try.

"You know I didn't mean for this to happen," he said. "I would never consciously leave you, you know that."

At first Rose said nothing and he thought that perhaps she couldn't even be bothered to answer.

"Actually I don't really know that," she finally said. "New, new Doctor and all."

"Some things change when I regenerate." The Doctor's voice had a touch of darkness to it. He didn't like that she questioned this. It scared him. It meant she no longer had much faith in him. If any at all. "But not everything. You of all people should know that." To this she didn't reply at all which rather bothered him. So he got his arm in front of her and placed his palm against the wall. She stumbled to a halt and reluctantly turned towards him. "Rose..." he began with severity.

"Doctor," she interrupted him. "We really don't have time for this. We need to get Amy."

"They won't hurt her," he said. "She's the bait." Rose sighed with annoyance.

"Yeah, well this space is a bit cramped."

"I'm sure you can handle it," he said.

"Yeah, well..." Rose grabbed his arm and pushed it away. "...doesn't mean I fancy it," she said and continued on down the hallway clearly not interested in what he had to say.

"Rose wait!" he called after her, probably too loudly. And of course she didn't bother to head him. "Rose stop!" He grabbed her hand and gasped a little in surprise. He felt nothing. No spark of electricity, no rush of euphoria. Only her soft skin beneath his hand.

When he'd felt that familiar pressure over his chest as he'd left he was sure that the bond was still there. Even now he felt it. Like something essential was missing from him. How could that be when the link between them was clearly broken?

"The bond," he breathed. "It really is gone." Rose tore free from his hold and marched off down the passageway without a word. The Doctor hurried after her. She turned and pushed him away before he had a chance to get close.

"Don't!" she told him sharply. Light was coming from somewhere overhead, it sparked of her eyes. There was fire in them. Fire not indifference.

"Rose, talk to me," he asked of her. "Just talk to me."

"No," she told him, trying to walk away but he stopped her. How could he not? If he hadn't lost her already he surely was well on his way and how could he just stand there and let that happen? She pushed at his chest and he fought against her.

"Rose, just listen for two seconds," he ground out in frustration.

"There is no time," she told him. "Let go of me."

"Not until you hear me out!" He yanked her within an inch of his face. "I know I'm not who I was," growled and saw something flicker deep inside her eyes. But he didn't think he had the time to stop and try to discern what it might mean. "Not to you. But I love you, Rose!" He shook her once. "I'll always love you! I'll always want you! And if you're scared, if that's why you're treating me like this..."

"I'm not scared," she interrupted.

"Well, good," he said. "Because you have me. Always. Even if you can no longer... " he trailed off, struggling to get the words out. He swallowed hard. "...love me," he finished.

For just a moment he thought she might say something. Anything. But she didn't. Rose roughly twisted free from his hold and strode off without a word.

"Is that all you have to say?" he called after her. She didn't stop and he hurried to catch up to her. "Do you have any idea how long it took for me to be able to tell you that?" he asked as they continued down the passageway. "How long it took for me to stop being afraid?" She didn't even pause. Didn't bother to even acknowledge him. "I put my faith in you," he said. "I gave you all that I am. I made vows and promises..."

"Yeah, well I didn't," she muttered.

The Doctor grabbed her shoulder and she immediately twisted out of his grip.

"I heard you," he said. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she glared at him. "When I left you in Davros's library. I heard you." It took a while for her to answer.

"I would have said anything to stop you," she said. The Doctor took a step closer to her.

"That's all it was?" he asked. She nodded. "Liar."

He reached out his hand towards her but she immediately swatted it away.

"Don't," she warned and turned, striding off again. The Doctor hurried after her. He was going to get an honest reaction if it was the last thing he did.

He reached for her but before he got a chance to do anything, she'd clasped his wrist and twisted his arm behind his back.

"I said, don't," she growled in his ear. He felt her breath tickle his skin as she let him go.

"Never were to good at following orders me," he said, twirling around and within seconds had her trapped against the wall. "Now, Rose Tyler," he said. She pushed at his chest. But he refused to budge. He got a hold of her wrists and placed them against the wall, over her head, holding them there. "I am going to ask you one question. Just one and you are going to give me an honest answer." The glare she was giving him told him that he was on very thin ice. "And that's it. I'll leave it be." She tried to pull her hands free and his grip tightened around her wrists. "Deal?" he asked. Her lips curved in a little half- smile. She leaned towards him.

"No, deal," she said and he was sure she did it just to spite him.

She turned her wrist and managed to twist free from his grip. The space was so narrow there was no room for movement. The Doctor wasn't a fighter and Rose, as far as he knew only had basic training from her Torchwood days. She pushed him off with her shoulder and he shover her back. Their fight swiftly turned in to a rather pathetic display of shoves and pinching. They were about one step away from hair- pulling when Rose pushed the Doctor back. He had his hands around her elbows as the wall suddenly gave way. Startled the Doctor clasped Rose tighter to keep himself from falling. But he was already too off balance. He fell and pulled her with him.

They tumbled out of the passageway. The Doctor fell flat on his back on floor made of green, polished stone. Hard stone. Rose landed on top of him as two guards and one surprised Amy stared down at them.

Both Rose and the Doctor looked around quickly. They were at a landing. Stairs leading up at one side and stairs leading down on the other. The reason the wall had given away was because it wasn't a wall at all. It was a huge painting of a man with hair as green as the prince's and a crown that looked to be made of intricately woven branches on his head. The king no doubt. The painting worked as a doorway and had swung opened as they'd hit it.

"What are you two doing?" Amy asked them. Rose pushed herself up and got to her feet, the Doctor scrambling up beside her.

"Rescuing you," the Doctor declared with a smile, trying to sound casual.

"Seriously?" Amy asked. "Because that is not what it looked like." The Doctor glanced at Rose and felt satisfaction at the blush creeping up her cheeks. Not completely indifferent, he thought darkly.

Both guards raised their weapons, aiming them at Rose and the Doctor.

"Stand down," one of them demanded.

"Oh, there you are," came an unpleasant voice. They turned to see the prince coming down the stairs, followed by his twenty or so guards. They'd missed that, the Doctor thought. "Do shoot them," the prince told the two guards with their weapons raised.

"They won't shoot us," Rose said. The prince stopped before he reached the landing, his guards placing themselves strategically around him, weapons at the ready.

"Is that so?" the prince asked.

"It is so," Rose confirmed.

"It is?" Amy wondered.

"Not sure it is," the Doctor offered as he looked around at all the guns. Way too many guns for his comfort. "Need I remind you they have been shooting at you," the Doctor pointed out to Rose.

"Exactly," Rose agreed, locking eyes with the prince. "They've shot _at_ me, 's all." The prince took a step down towards them.

"Aim for her head," he told the Guard. "Let's see how clever she is then."

The Doctor's eyes kept flickering around, but Rose's stayed focused on the prince and no one fired.

"I told you, they won't shoot me," Rose said to the prince.

"They do what I tell them to!" he spat.

"No, they do what your father tells them to," Rose countered.

"When my father's not here they obey me!"

Rose waited for a moment. Still no one shot at them.

"Do they?" she asked the prince. The prince took another step down.

"Shoot her!" he demanded furiously, stomping his foot like a petulant child. Rose raised her eyebrows, waiting for any of them to make a move and the Doctor got the strangest sense of deja vu watching her. Is this what it had felt like for her, he wondered. Standing by and watching him being reckless.

"See," Rose said. "They're loyal to your father, not you. And your father doesn't want all hell to rain down on his planet because his son decided to kill a representative from the Shadow proclamation."

"Representative?" the prince mocked. "You're nothing more than a dirty secret. The Bad Wolf. From what I've heard you are bad alright." He gave her a twisted smile. "Is it true the Shadow proclamation locks you up at night? Like a dog?"

The prince's face twisted cruelly and Rose went for him. But the Doctor managed to grab her and stop her before she got very far. He was sure a direct assault would give the guards the justification they'd need to shoot them all dead on the spot.

"Rose, stop," he growled in her ear as she tried to twist free of him.

"Better keep a leash on her," the prince laughed.

"Arrogant prick," Rose spat at the prince.

"Oh, are we going to see you howl now, wolf?" the prince asked, clapping his hands. Rose ground her teeth in obvious frustration.

"Really not worth it," the Doctor told Rose, his arms tight around her and for the blink of an eye he thought he saw her eyes flash bright gold. The prince's smile faltered and he took a step up, away from them. "Easy," the Doctor whispered in Rose's ear, not sure if he'd seen what he thought he'd seen. He instinctively wanted to reach across the bond to sooth her mind with his own but he couldn't feel her at all no matter how much he tried. Slowly the Doctor noticed her muscle's relaxing and Rose pushed herself away from him.

"No?" the prince asked, getting back some of his bravado. "Pity. I'll just have to demand back what you took then," he said, holding out his hand. But Rose shook her head.

"You're not getting it back," she said. "A deal is a deal."

"Don't care," the prince spat. "And you know, perhaps I can't shoot you but I can shoot them," he said nodding towards the Doctor and Amy. Rose blanched. And then she looked about ready throw herself at him again despite the guards blocking her way.

"Now, now," the Doctor interrupted getting in front of her before she got the chance to make a second attempt. "Let's just not shoot anyone. I don't much like shooting... or guns," he said, looking at the nearest one pointed at him. "I'm sure we can all get along."

"I'm sorry but who even are you?" the prince asked with annoyance, glaring at the Doctor. "Besides dead soon, I mean."

"I'm the Doctor," he said as though this was quite obvious.

"He's the Doctor," Rose confirmed and for the first time it sounded like she actually said his name. He glanced at her in surprise but she wasn't looking at him. The prince turned his head to Amy who nodded.

"He is," she agreed. The Doctor got his sonic out of his pocket. All the remaining guards immediately raised their weapons. But no one shot anyone. The Doctor flicked the sonic easily from one hand to the other. The prince just stared at them all in bewilderment.

"Doctor who?!"

The Doctor smiled.

"Aw, I just love it when people say that," he said. "But..." he began, spinning around and aiming his sonic screwdriver. With one quick swoop sparks blew out of the weapons. The guards dropped them in surprise, the guns clattering to the floor. Amy scrambled away from the two guards and hurried over to the Doctor and Rose. "Ha! No more guns," the Doctor said with glee. "Just how I like it."

The prince was beginning to turn a very alarming shade of red where he stood. He in fact looked about ready to pop.

"New features too," Rose remarked.

"Not really," the Doctor allowed in a hushed voice. "I wasn't even sure that was going to work. But their weapons are just not very good. As far as weapons go." All the guards reached for their belts, ready to draw swords.

"Now, now," the Doctor called out, aiming his screwdriver around. "This also shoots lasers that will turn your insides into pus." The guards halted. "Yeah, so here's how this is going to go," the Doctor told the guards. "We are gonna go... again. But all of us this time and you are just going to stand there because other vice I will liquify your organs with my sonic... liquifyer." The prince glared down at them.

"Oh, please, there is no such thing," he said.

"Yeah, ok... no, there perhaps isn't," the Doctor allowed, backing up. "It's actually... well..." The guards were slowly moving towards them. "It's a screwdriver. But-" he declared. "As you all saw, it can be quite handy." He smiled as though thinking himself so very clever.

"Kill the idiot and the redhead," the prince said. "And get me the wolf."

"Ok, ruuun!" the Doctor called out.

The three of them turned and bolted. Rose flung opened the portrait-door and they dashed into the passageway. The Doctor pushed Amy in ahead of him as they hurried after Rose. The guards gave chase behind then.

There was no time to stop and use Rose's vortex manipulator. Setting coordinates took time or one could end up anywhere. So they ran. Ran as the Guard chased them, the prince yelling all sorts of profanities after them.

Rose skidded to a stop at an intersection.

"I don't..." she began.

"Right!" the Doctor called out. Immediately she moved, hurrying down the right way. She was quick. Very quick. Amy picked up her pace to keep up with Rose but she was running in her short, tight skirt. Rose stopped suddenly and Amy and the Doctor followed. Before them was a solid wall. Rose spun, her expression furious.

"Right!?" she screamed at him.

"I could have sworn it was," he sputtered.

"Does it look like it was!?"

"Come on you two," Amy sighed and pushed at a section of the wall that slid opened like the portrait had.

The Guard was coming, thundering down the passageway towards them. The Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and pulled her with him after Amy. They came out into a room. A big one. Hundreds of benches all facing a solid oak table with three high-backed chairs behind it. It was a bit like the house of parliament and most likely a lot of important decisions were made in that room. But there was no time to stop and consider any such things. The three of them ran past the table with the three chairs down an aisle between the pews, the Guard so close behind they were practically breathing down their necks.

The Doctor held on tight to Rose's hand as they ran and she didn't pull free. She ran with him. And right then it didn't matter that they had over twenty guards and an angry prince chasing after them. Or that they had just fought and he was hurt and frustrated. They were together. As they should be. For that moment it felt just as it once had. If the Doctor could chose he would spend the rest of his life running with Rose Tyler no matter what it cost him.

They reached the edge of the room and Amy pushed opened two huge double doors. They ran out into the hall where Amy stopped.

"Which way?" she asked, desperately. They all looked around frantically.

"Left, left," Rose decided and no one argued. They ran on as the doors behind them burst opened and the Guard stormed out after them.

"I can't keep running in this skirt," Amy complained as she pulled it down over her thighs.

"On the point of that," Rose asked, only slightly out of breath. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"Oh, well," Amy mumbled.

"You're a policewoman, right?" the Doctor asked.

"Not exactly," Amy allowed.

The Doctor skidded to a stop as he spotted the TARDIS down a hallway to the left, yanking Rose to a stop next to him.

"This way!" he called. Amy stopped and turned back. Giving a yelp as she saw the Guard running towards them with swords drawn. The three of them ran towards the ship. The Doctor was reluctantly forced to let go of Rose's hand as they reached it and he had to fish the the key out of his pocket. He unlocked the door to the TARDIS and pushed the door opened.

"Get in!"

Amy blew past him without hesitation. But Rose didn't. She was backing away. Even as the Guard came running towards them, swords raised, she was backing away.

"Rose, get in!" he told her.

"I..." she began. "I can't go with you." She shook her head. The Doctor growled in frustration and as the Guard were nearly upon them he moved quickly.

The Doctor rushed over, plucked Rose off the ground with one arm around her waist. He was reminded of the last time she'd come back to him. When she'd stood outside as Martha was leaving. He'd picked her up then to and put her inside the TARDIS. But she had laughed then. She'd been happy to see him. She wasn't happy to see him now but thankfully she was too surprised to put up much of a fight.

"Get in the bloody ship, Rose," he told her as he deposited her just inside the doors. "We can talk about this later." He leaned out, seeing the Guard with swords held high. He gave them a smile and pulled himself inside, slamming the doors shut. "Right then!" he said, purposefully avoiding Rose's gaze. He ran across the floor and up the stairs. He rushed past Amy to the console and rapidly flipped a couple of switches, running around it. The wonderful sound of the TARDIS sang through the room. "Ha! Ha!" the Doctor called in triumph, spinning about. "Leave them in the dust." He flipped a lever, smiling with his whole face. There was nothing better than a narrow escape to get the blood going, he thought. But as his eyes caught on Rose across the room he had to admit that there were a few things. Only question was if any of those things could still be possible.


	50. Chapter 50 - As it was

Chapter 50 - As it was

The Doctor put the TARDIS into the vortex, taking a strengthening breath before walking around the console, stopping at the top of the stairs. Rose was standing where he'd left her, looking around the room. He couldn't judge the look on her face. Did she like it? Did she hate it?

"What do you think?" he asked, putting his hands together and wringing them. A nervous tick he was clearly now stuck with. He waited.

"It's bigger," Rose said, giving the same remark as she had with his new screwdriver.

"Still not compensating," the Doctor assured and heard Amy stifle a laugh behind him. Rose, however didn't laugh. Rose said nothing at all.

She walked over to the stairs, carefully running her hand along the rail as she took the steps up. The Doctor stepped to the side to let her pass. She walked over to the console, putting her hand against the time rotor for a moment.

"Hello," she said softly. The TARDIS hummed in welcome. The Doctor would bet the ship had missed Rose too. Ever since the gaming station and the first appearance of Bad Wolf the ship had seemed to have near maternal instincts where Rose was concerned.

Rose walked along the console, letting her fingers run over the new buttons and gears while the Doctor and Amy watched her and she smiled. Rose smiled. That was a definite smile.

"Do you like it?" the Doctor asked, unable to stand the suspense another moment.

"I do," Rose said, her eyes running over the walls and lights. "Not as much as before but... it's nice. Very nice. Amazing even." The Doctor breathed an obvious sigh of relief.

"I think it's unbelievable," Amy said with a brilliant smile. Rose's eyes shifted to her. She smiled back.

"You've changed quite a bit since I saw you last, Amelia Pond," Rose remarked.

"And you haven't changed at all. You must tell me how you did that. Both of you," she said, pointing between the two of them.

"Time travellers," the Doctor said, nodding. "It's all very... timey wimey."

"Does he do that a lot?" Amy asked Rose, pointing at the Doctor with her thumb. "Make up silly words?"

"Yeah," Rose allowed. "At least... he used to." The Doctor's gaze snapped up to Rose at this. But she wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were on her shoes.

Amy looked from one of them to the other, clearly sensing the tension.

"Perhaps I should... leave you two alone to... talk," she said. She walked past them and headed up the stairs, going deeper inside the TARDIS.

"Take the first right, second left, through the garden and then another left!" the Doctor called after her. "I think that's where she put the library."

"You can drop me off at the Shadow Proclamation," Rose told him as Amy disappeared with a wave of her hand. "The sooner the better." The Doctor turned his eyes on her, folding his arms across his chest. He watched her for a moment seeing the tension in her shoulders, her flickering gaze and the restlessness of her fingers. She was on edge but for what reason he couldn't tell and he felt he rather desperately needed to know. He needed to get her talking. It was the only way to possibly begin to bridge the gap between them.

"I'm not dropping you off anywhere until you talk to me," he said. Rose gave an exasperated sigh.

"What is there to talk about?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know." The Doctor shook his shoulders. "How about if you're ok?" he suggested. "Last I saw you, you were half dead." Rose leaned back against the console.

"Well, I'm alright now," she said. "As you can see."

"Alright never actually means alright," the Doctor pointed out, his eyes narrowing on her. She gave him a glare.

"Only you say you're alright when you're not." Rose caught herself. "Sorry, I should say you did."

"Because I'm so different now." The Doctor's voice was hard. Rose's gaze ran over him quickly but it was like even though she looked she didn't see. She threw her hand out causally towards him, as though one only had to look at him to see that he was.

The Doctor took a step towards her. "Perhaps if when you looked at me you actually saw me..." he said. "...you'd see that I'm not that different." Rose's gaze flickered up to his.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Yes," he told her, staring her down and trying by sheer force of will to get her to see. Really see. He was him. Still the Doctor. His hearts still beat in the same rhythm, his mind still spun in the same directions and every inch of him still wanted her. Would always want her. Bond or no bond he felt attuned to her all the same, helplessly caught in her field of gravity but with no desire to ever escape it. Loving Rose had brought him a lot of pain and he feared it would bring him a lot more. But it was all worth it. Because he'd never known joy like the kind she brought to his soul either. Never quite felt as though he belonged as much as when she had her arms around him. Home for him was no longer a place lost to time but a human girl and stubborn old ship.

He took a step closer to Rose and the air seemed to shift between them. Something moved deep within Rose's eyes, some flutter of emotion. Confusion? Fear? Surprise? But then her gaze fell before he had any hope of trying to discern it. Rose turned away from him and he felt bereft. As though she'd taken some part of him with her. She wandered off around the console.

"Didn't know if I'd ever be back here," she admitted, sounding a little wistful. Like the TARDIS had been reduced to nothing but a fond memory.

"This is your home," the Doctor pointed out.

"It was."

"How can you say that?" he asked, truly feeling appalled. "This will always be your home."

"Home is where the heart it," Rose said quietly as she continued away. The Doctor stalked after her.

"And your heart's no longer here, is that what you're trying to say?" he asked.

"Dunno where my heart is," Rose said, sadly thoughtful. "Feels like I lost it on the way. Or perhaps I misplaced it in the move."

"Are you trying to be funny because you're not," the Doctor told her, swallowing hard. Rose stopped for a moment and glanced up at the wires hanging from overhead.

"No," she said. "Just... I dunno... nostalgic perhaps." Her eyes ran over the console. "It's been a while since I was here after all.

"Rose..." She walked away, moving slowly around the console and he followed. "Rose, exactly how long?" He took a deep breath, hoping she'd answer him this time. "How long has it been for you?"

"It doesn't matter," she said.

"It matters to me."

The Doctor caught up to her. He clasped her elbow and turned her slowly towards him. Her gaze was down. He urged her face up with just the tip of his fingers under her chin. With obvious reluctance she let him. He looked at her face. Her beautiful, familiar face and forced himself to see what he was so afraid to look for. Signs of ageing. Fine lines, the loss of skin elasticity, harsher angles. But Amy was right. She looked exactly the same. "Tell me," he urged.

"Not as long as for Amy," she said, backing away.

"How long?"

"A few months."

"Months?" Bad, but not as bad as he'd thought. He probably had the TARDIS to thank for that. The ship had managed to catch up to Rose early. She turned away.

"Yeah, maybe four or five..."

"Didn't bother to count?" Again the Doctor was reminded that she no longer felt for him what he would always feel for her. But he couldn't ask for that. He knew he couldn't. Not only was she human but he'd abandoned her. It would take a long time to even begin to rebuild any kind of trust much less hope that she might come to love him again.

"A lot has happened," she said as she moved away. He followed.

"I noticed that," he said. "You're working for the Shadow Proclamation now? How did that happen?"

"I struck a deal with the Architect," Rose said.

"A deal? What kind of deal?"

"I do believe that is none of your business," she told him, tracing her fingers along a set of blue buttons. The Doctor had to stop himself from telling her that everything involving her was his business because that was no longer true. She obviously didn't need him anymore. Despite the bond being broken she didn't seem to have any trouble keeping control so she didn't need him for that and she had her own way of travelling through time and space so she didn't need him for that either. In that scrap of time that for him were a mere few minutes he'd become antiquated, obsolete, no longer useful.

"What exactly do you do for them?" he asked, trying to keep the pettiness out of his voice but probably failing.

"I don't do anything for them," Rose said.

"I don't understand."

"I gave the Architect a piece of information and in turn she allows me access to all the Shadow proclamations resources."

"A piece of information?" the Doctor asked, feeling a chill of worry run down his spine. "Like a secret?"

Rose turned, folding her arms across her chest and leaning her hip against the console. She looked at him squarely.

"I didn't tell her any of yours, if that's what you're thinking," she said, sounding disgusted that he might even have considered such a thing. He hadn't. No matter if she couldn't love him she would never betray a confidence. Not Rose.

"It wasn't," he told her with absolute certainty. "But what did you tell her?" Rose sighed and pushed away from the console.

"Again, none of your business."

"What did you take from that prince guy then?"

"Nothing he hadn't already agreed to give," Rose answered evasively.

"Which was...?"

"Information."

"I assume you're not going to tell me what that information was," the Doctor said.

"You assume correct."

"Rose..." He walked over to stand close to her. Probably too close but in a way he felt as though the bond was still there. Still pulling him in. Rose Tyler would always be like gravity. "I..." He fell silent. He wanted to tell her again how much he loved her. How this was killing him. Fearing he'd loose her. But since it hadn't gone over well last time he'd tried he decided to keep it to himself. "Is it true what he said?" he asked instead. "The prince. Do they lock you up?"

"Sometimes," Rose admitted. "At night."

"And you're ok with that?"

"It's harder to keep control when I'm asleep," she said. "It is as much for my protection as everyone else's." She walked away again, moving slowly around the console. It was like chasing mist, he thought. Constantly drifting away before him, always out of reach. Fading and elusive.

"You wouldn't have to do that," he said. "If you stayed here. In the TARDIS."

"I can't stay here," she said.

"Why?"

She stopped but didn't turn around. Her head hung forwards as though there was a great weight on her shoulders and he wanted nothing more than to take some of that weight. But how could he when he didn't understand her anymore, much less what she carried.

"Rose, just talk to me," he said. "I'll understand if only you explain it." He watched her shake her head. He walked around her. "Rose..." he tried but she kept her eyes averted as though she simply couldn't bear to look at him. It hurt. He couldn't help it. It hurt.

"Am I not good enough?" he asked and she drew in a hasty breath at that, taking a step away from and he followed. "Is it this face?" he wanted to know. "Am I not... attractive enough anymore? Is that it?"

"Doctor, don't," she said as she continued backing away. "Don't do this."

"Then talk to me," he insisted. "Tell me what it is that you don't like." Rose shook her head.

"Just stop it," she said. "You're being stupid."

"Stupid?" he asked. "You won't even look at me!" he burst out, harsher than he had intended.

But she still didn't look at him. She never did. Not really. Not even when she glared at him did she really see him. Rose kept her gaze on the floor, blonde tendrils of hair that had come out of her braids shielding most of her face from him. It was driving him mad.

The Doctor slammed his hand down hard on the console. "Rose, look at me!" She jumped at his outburst but didn't do what he asked.

"I have to go," she said and turned away and he was pretty sure she didn't mean just the room. He grabbed her arm, spinning her towards him.

"Why won't you look at me?!" he demanded, shaking her and instantly being appalled at his own actions. He rarely got this physical with her and never really had to use force to make her listen to him. It scared him. The lengths she could push him to. "Why can't you see me?" he asked with sorrow.

He watched as her eyelids fluttered and he saw small pearls of water getting caught on the very tips of her lashes. Instantly he eased his hold on her, reaching up his hand and brushing his knuckles softly against her cheek. She shivered at the contact. "Rose..." he said so softly it was nothing but a whisper. And she finally raised her eyes and looked at him. They were shiny with tears. The moisture reflected the lights from overhead, making her eyes shine with it. But it was a sad kind of light. The kind of light you'd find at a grave or from a star that was long since dead.

"Because you died." She said it like an accusation, her voice thin and frail. "I can't look at you because it's like ripping up a fresh wound." She tore free from his hold. He let her go, didn't try to stop her. Rose stepped back, her legs unsteady. "You were gone," she said. "And I couldn't..."

"But I'm here now," he tried, surging towards her only to have her draw away.

"No," she said. "Don't. I don't want that." His arms fell useless to his sides.

"Why?" he asked, sounding lost and confused. "Why don't you want me?" She stepped further away, shaking her head. He turned to the console, clutching the edges. "You won't even give me chance," he said, looking up at the time rotor before him. "This isn't like you," he realised. "You give everyone a chance. Even Daleks for gods sake."

"I'm sorry."

The Doctor could feel her moving away before he heard the soft hum of the TARDIS as Rose landed the ship and he wanted to stop her. He wanted to scream and howl but he just ran his fingers through his hair and did neither. "I have to go," she said and walked away. Always walking away. If she didn't stop doing that it was going to break him.

He watched her hurry down the stairs, and moved after her before he realised what he was doing. The Doctor forced himself to stop. He clasped the railing next to him so tightly it hurt. Let her go, he told himself. She wants to go. She doesn't want you. Let her go. But there was no fighting gravity. She would always pull him in and he would always follow, drawn like a moth to a flame, tragically yearning for what he knew had the power to destroy him.

The Doctor rushed down the stairs and ran across the floor, getting in front of Rose just before she reached the doors.

"Rose."

"Just get out of the way, Doctor" she said, her voice sounding sad and tired. But he shook his head.

"I can't do that," he said.

"Don't make this harder than it already is."

"It's plenty hard already."

She laughed mockingly. "You think this is hard?" she asked. "You don't know anything." His eyes narrowed on her.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Five minutes," she said. "To you, you were gone five minutes."

"And I counted," he told her. "Every breath I took without you I felt." And again she laughed, mocking his words. Then she fixed her eyes on him and for the first time he saw her in them. The girl behind the facade of indifference and evasive answers. And that girl was hurt. Unbelievably hurt.

"Five months," she ground out, it clearly taking great effort to push the words past her lips. "Five months, eighteen days, six hours and four minutes." She took a trembling breath and he could see her pulse flutter madly at the base of her throat as he began to understand what it was she was really saying. "That's how long," she said. "And I felt every last crippling second of it."

All the blood drained out of the Doctor's face. "It was like someone had torn my insides out," she said, the words breaking up into fragments as she spoke, pain making her falter. "I know why Omega tried to tear the universe apart and I know why it drove him mad. It's what happens, Doctor. You break inside. And it hurts." Rose clutched her chest. "Hurts so much you think it will kill you except it doesn't. Your heart still beats and you can't understand why. How can something so broken still work? Why doesn't it fall apart?" Tears born out of as much anger as they were born out of pain gathered in her eyes. "In the end you're willing to do anything to simply stop the pain. Anything to make yourself whole again. "

The Doctor stared at Rose with horror, realising just what he'd gone and put her through.

"The bond's not broken."

Again she laughed. That horrible mocking laugh. "Of course it's not broken," she told him. "Were you not listening to what everyone kept telling us? It can't be broken. Not by anything. We will be like this until we are both dead!" She spat the word out as though it was foul.

"I don't understand," he said. "I can't feel you. I can't..." He stopped as she held up her arm. The one that didn't have the manipulator on it and pulled down the sleeve. There was a bracelet around her wrist, about three centimetres wide and made of some kind of rough metal. But through its centre ran a bright blue line, it's colour so intense it nearly glowed. He got a very bad feeling at the sight of it. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked.

"If you think it's the blue crystal Annabelle Conn got from Poosh then, yes," Rose said. The Doctor clasped Rose's hand. She twitched, instinctively trying to pull free but stopped herself and let him have a closer look.

He held her hand up in front of his face, retrieving the sonic out of his pocket. He ran it over the bracelet, the tip flashing green. He flicked his wrist and the small metal claws extended at the top of the screwdriver, giving him the readings. The bracelet was a crude construction but clever. Extremely clever. Too clever for the Shadow Proclamation. "Who made it?" the Doctor asked even though he was quite sure he knew and when Rose didn't answer him he realised the answer was indeed obvious. "Making a deal with the Shadow Proclamation wasn't enough?" he asked as he put his sonic back inside his jacket pocket. "You went and made a deal with the devil as well?"

"No deal," Rose said. "Self preservation." The Doctor's eyes shifted to Rose's.

"How's that?"

"I would have gone nuclear eventually," Rose said. "I just made it clear I would make sure to take her with me."

The Doctor's eyes returned to Rose's wrist. He ran his thumb experimentally across her skin. He felt nothing of the rush he'd become used to. And if he tried to feel her mind he couldn't feel anything at all. As though she wasn't even there.

"So this is why," he said. Rose pulled free.

"Yes," she said. "It works the same as that room on the Dalek crucible, just portable."

"It's clever," he said. Rose pulled her sleeve back down to hide the bracelet.

"It stops me hurting anyone."

"I bet it pretty much stops you feeling much of anything either," he said.

"It was the best we could do. Lian and Red are trying to work out the rest."

"Who?"

"You didn't meet them. They were the ones who did the scans when we were there last. When you were busy breaking Annabelle Conn out of prison."

"Right, the same Annabelle Conn you now apparently trust," the Doctor pointed out.

"I don't trust her," Rose spat. "But I trusted her obsession with staying alive. Lian and Red are really the ones that's been helping me..." she stopped for a moment before continuing. "...helping me understand what you did."

"And what exactly was that?" the Doctor asked, a hint of betrayal he couldn't mask in his voice.

"Something impossible," Rose replied. "Lian's a romantic at heart. She thinks it's your love for me and mine for you that keeps me alive. The unknown element that stops the energy inside me from ripping everything apart."

"I assume this, Red has another theory," the Doctor said, watching her darkly.

"Not really. They simply use different names for the same things. Red just likes to boil it down to a science. But it's really quite simple. You tied every cell in my body to yours through both a telepathic and empathic link and as long as that remains strong the energy remains stable."

"Then why do you loose control?" the Doctor asked, even though he knew the answer already he wanted to see if she had arrived at the same conclusion he had.

"The Huon particles," Rose said. "They are what allowed your DNA to bind with mine despite our... incompatibility, but they're sensitive to chemical imbalance in the body especially such caused by strong emotions."

"Adrenaline, endorphins..."

"Fear, hate, passion."

"That's what you would call a paradox," the Doctor remarked. "Your connection to me keeps you balanced but being with me has a tendency to..."

"Unbalance me?" Rose suggested.

"Yeah, something like that."

"It requires more of us. Less fear more trust. Or how would you put it?" she asked, looking at him curiously. His eyes met hers.

"What saves us can equally destroy us." Rose watched him silently. "But I guess that is just the nature of things," the Doctor said. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah," Rose agreed after a while. "I guess it is."

"But it doesn't have to be though," the Doctor pointed out. "I mean, you're here now." He held out his arms to indicate the space around them. "You're in the TARDIS. You're with me. We don't have to hold back anymore. You can take the bracelet off." Rose clutched her hand instinctively around her wrist.

"I'm not taking it off," she said. The Doctor halted and looked at her.

"Why not?" he asked. It took a moment for Rose to answer.

"Because I wouldn't be able to leave if I did," she said and her words felt like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. He had to struggle for a moment to catch his breath.

"But you don't have to leave," he tried to say. "You can stay..." She looked at him sadly, the quiet determination in her face breaking him apart. "The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler," he said. "...as it should be."

Rose took a trembling breath, closing her eyes. "As it was," she said.

"You don't mean that," he said, shaking his head. She was telling him she'd moved on but how could he accept that when no amount of time and certainly not five months, however painful could ever make him move on from her. But it wasn't those five months, he reminded himself. It was him. He'd changed while she'd stayed the same. She was in love with a shape and a smile that was gone. He could never be that exact same man for her ever again no matter how much he might want to. And she knew it. She'd known it from the moment she woke up in Amy's room and had flinched away from him. She hadn't wanted him then and she didn't want him now. The only thing tying her to him was the bond and that was something he'd forced upon her. No matter how foreign the concept, how impossible and ridiculous, he had to accept that Rose Tyler no longer loved him.

"I really am sorry," heard her say, wishing she hadn't spoken at all. He didn't think he could stand her pity.

"For what?" he asked without looking at her. "Not loving me anymore? Hardly your fault is it."

"Don't say that," Rose told him. "I'll... I'll always love you, you know that."

"Wanting me then," he corrected and to this she said nothing which was answer enough.

So the Doctor stepped back. It took all his strength, every last ounce of willpower to fight every instinct he had and let her go. Rose opened her eyes and looked at him. There was sadness within them. She wasn't indifferent, he thought. She was Rose and Rose could never not care. And just like a part of her might always care, at the end of the day he would always do what she asked of him. Even if it meant it would break him to do it.

Rose's gaze dropped as she walked by him. Somehow the Doctor made his feet move. He got all the way to the stairs. He clasped the railing to stay on his feet.

"You should have let me die," he said, not sure where the words came from. If they were a conscious thought or torn directly from his hearts. He couldn't tell the difference. Wasn't even sure it mattered. "It would have been a kindness," he said and walked up the stairs.

The Doctor heard Rose say something but he didn't know what. Maybe he'd only imagined it and perhaps that was for the best. For now he was standing but one more word from her might be the thing that sent him to his knees. But when she said it again he couldn't help but turn around.

"What?" he asked. She stood with her hand on the doorknob. Still as a statue, like she'd been frozen in time. And for one horrible, dark second he wished she was so that he might keep her forever.

"I can't do it," she said and he narrowed his eyes on her. He knew he'd heard the words but didn't dare believe them, didn't dare to let even the barest hint of hope flare in his chest.

Then Rose let go of the handle and spun around. Her beautiful eyes met his across the room.

"I can't do it," she said again. "I'm not ready." He stared at her face. "Oh, dear god I'm not ready."

Then she was running across the floor and he was already rushing down the stairs towards her. Rose slammed into him, throwing herself into his arms. He caught her and held on in total disbelief. Her legs were around his ankles and her arms tight around his neck. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she mumbled over and over again and he just held on because there was nothing else he could do.

"Don't be sorry," he mumbled as he buried his face in her hair. He took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of her, his mind flooding with memories and sensations he'd never thought to experience again. "Just don't leave me, Rose. Please, don't want that. Don't ever want that." His arms tightened around her as thought that might be enough to make her stay.

Rose didn't say anything. Made no promises. But in that moment it wasn't important. He was holding her, the weight and shape of her as familiar as though it had been branded into his skin. His body knew hers. Even this new one. To him it didn't matter. He'd always know. His hand ran up into her hair, probably making more of a mess of it than it already was and all he could think was that he had her back. Rose. He had Rose.

"You were going to let me go," she mumbled. "You were really going to let me go."

"Because you asked me to," he told her. "I'd do anything you asked of me..." He swallowed hard. "...even that." Her hold on him tightened and he thought he must savour each precious second, every moment of feeling her body against his, of having her wrapped so tightly around him he wasn't even sure where he ended and she began.

"I like the bowtie," Rose mumbled into his shoulder.

"You do?" he asked in surprise. She nodded. "Well, bowties are cool," he said and was sure he felt her smile against his neck. "Was that a smile?" he asked.

"No," she told him and he could hear it in her voice despite her denial.

"That was a smile," he said. "You smiled."

"Oh, shut up, Doctor," she told him, and there it was, he thought. That's how she used to say his name. Just like that


	51. Chapter 51 - The night of souls

Chapter 51 - The night of souls

Rose pulled the small drive out of her pocket. It is what she'd taken from the Tharzies Prince. Or rather what she'd refused to give back when he'd decided to change the terms of their agreement. If it contained what she thought it did it was the biggest lead she'd found in months. She surveyed her room quickly. It felt strange being back on the TARDIS, in her old room. It looked exactly the same as when she'd left it. Though the TARDIS had changed just about the look of everything else she hadn't touched Rose's room. Which she was grateful for. It was nice to be surrounded by familiar things.

A red Punky Fish sweater still lay discarded on the floor. The duvet was a mess because she hadn't bothered to make the bed. She walked over to the wall and hunkered down on the floor. She picked through the broken pieces of a small jewellery box. It is what the Doctor had thrown into the wall the last time they'd been in here. He'd been so angry then, his thoughts so dark and tormented.

Rose looked at the small drive in her hand. For some idiotic reason she had nothing in her room she could use to watch the information on. She could go to the console room. She doubted the Doctor was there. He'd left her at her door when she'd finally been able to convince him to let her have some time alone and he'd been off to see if he could find Amy.

Rose shouldn't have stayed. It was a foolish thing to do. A dangerous thing. But as she'd stood there with her hand on the door handle knowing that if she walked away then she'd be walking away forever she hadn't been able to do it.

Rose straightened up. She had to take a look at the information on that drive. There really was no time to loose. She could contemplate the mess with her and the Doctor later.

So she left her room. The lights were dimmed low, giving the feel of nighttime. She probably should think about getting some sleep at some point. She just wasn't overly fond of doing it any more. It was always dangerous. Always nearly impossible to keep control. Without the bond and without the Doctor she really was a bomb just waiting to go off. The bracelet around her wrist numbed it all a little. But the numbness wasn't much better because it numbed her to everything. It was a bit like walking around drugged out on morphine. Not at all pleasant.

She made her way into the control room, walking down the stairs and up to the console. She missed how the room used to look. She missed the haphazard construction of it all. Like a mind so brilliant and brimming with thoughts and ideas it could never possibly be quite in order. Much like the Doctor himself.

Rose took the drive and plugged it into the console. She pulled the monitor over and looked at the information rolling in. It wasn't much. In fact it was just an image. A blurry one. Rose squinted at it. Looked like some form of alien, she thought. Pale skin, large hollow eyes. It was not one she recognised. Her gaze dropped as she turned the dials to try and sharpen the picture.

She stopped.

What was she doing?

She shook her head, looking up and seeing that the information on the drive had loaded, showing an image of an alien species she did not recognise. It was awfully blurry, perhaps if she could sharpen it up...

Wait a minute. Hadn't she just gone through all that? Rose did it a couple more times, slowly understanding the concept. She stared at the image, hazy as it was. She seemed to only be able to remember it while she was looking at it. She pulled her mobile out of her pocket and while looking at the monitor she wrote herself a message, setting it as an alarm.

"What are you up to?"

Rose's gaze snapped from the screen to find Amy walking down the stairs. Rose reached over and pulled the drive out, the screen going dark and stuffed the drive quickly inside her pocket.

"Didn't the Doctor find you?" Rose asked.

"He was looking?"

"Yeah, it's getting kinda late. You might want somewhere to sleep," Rose suggested. Amy sat down on the jump- seat. Even that was different, Rose thought. Everything was different, yet the same somehow. It was very confusing.

"We're we on a different planet?" Amy asked, dropping the 't' at the end and sounding very Scottish. Rose smiled and leaned her hip against the console.

"Very different, yeah," she confirmed. "Used to be a forest planet before it was harvested. Not much left now. Wood's more valuable than gold to them."

"I was on a different planet," Amy said, while staring into empty space.

"Just give it a moment or two," Rose said. "It'll sink in." Amy looked up at Rose.

"I was on a different planet!" she squealed and laughed. Rose found herself laughing with her. Long time since she'd done that. Amy leaned back in the jump-seat. "I can't believe it," she said. "Amelia Pond, in space."

"You haven't seen anything yet," Rose said with a smile.

"It get's better?"

"Oh, loads better," Rose assured. "Stick with the Doctor and he'll show you things you've only dreamed about."

"Is that what he did with you?" Amy asked. Rose's smile faltered for a moment, but then returned in full force. Of course he had.

"He did," she said. "He really did."

"So, you'll forgive him then, right?"Amy asked, leaning forwards. She wasn't wearing her police cap anymore so her red hair was spilling over her shoulders. Rose had cut her own hair about a month back because she thought it was getting too much in her way. But looking at Amy she found she kind of missed it a little.

"It's complicated," Rose said, turning away from Amy and began fiddling with a couple of buttons on the console. "Really complicated."

"Can't be that difficult," Amy remarked. "He loves you and he's got a time machine." Rose laughed at that, turning back to Amy where she sat.

"You have no idea how much those two things have complicated my life," Rose pointed out.

"Must be worth it though," Amy said.

"It wasn't all bad was it?"

Rose's gaze snapped up at the Doctor's voice that was not yet quite familiar. He was standing at the entrance to the control room, looking down at them. Rose's eyes met his.

"No," she said. The Doctor took the stairs down to them. Rose watched him and saw as he began to get uncomfortable under her regard. He glanced behind him before turning back and scratching his head.

"What is it?" he asked. "What are you looking at?" A smile tugged at Rose's lips. "What?"

"It wasn't all bad," Rose said. He grinned at her, walking over and placing himself next to her. He leaned back against the console and folded his arms across his hcest.

"Tired?" he asked. Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh, I didn't mean..." he began stuttering at the questioning look on her face. His arms fell to his sides. "I mean both of you.." he said looking to Amy. "I mean no... Tired. Are you both tired?"

"Doctor," Amy began in her Scottish accent, rolling the r at the end. "What exactly are you proposing?"

"No," he said, looking truly distraught. "Because there's this... thing...This..." He turned to Rose. "There's a thing," he told her. She smiled, taking pity on him.

"What thing?" she asked. His whole face lit up to match hers.

"I'll show you," he said. He twirled around and hurried around the console, flipping switches.

The TARDIS shook and they all held on to whatever was nearest to prevent crashing to the floor. "Sorry!" the Doctor called. He came hurrying around, stopping at Rose where she still stood. "So- I just need to..." He leaned past to reach a lever behind her. Rose stayed very still. His eyes caught hers as he began to draw back and he halted.

"What exactly is this thing?" Rose asked, her voice unwittingly sounding a bit breathless.

"You're gonna love it," he said. His eyes roamed over her face as though drinking her in, the mere sight of her not quite enough to slate his appetite. It made Rose's heart skip a beat, her response getting caught in her throat. She had repeatedly and foolishly convinced herself that it was a look she'd never see again. It would have been easier that way. So much easier. But he was true to his word. She should have trusted in it more. She should have known better.

His gaze flickered down to her hand where it rested right next to his. Rose didn't look but she felt his finger touch hers. Just the tip, just a slight brush as though asking her permission. But before she could do anything the TARDIS shook again. Immediately she clutched a hold of the console. The Doctor instinctively reached out to steady her.

"Maybe you should focus on flying now!" Amy suggested as she clutched the seat she was still sitting on. The Doctor left Rose and hurried around the console, pulling levers. The wonderful sound of the TARDIS filled the room as he landed, rather roughly.

"Ok, we're here!" the Doctor called as he came scurrying around to them.

"Are you planning on tellin' us where here is?" Amy asked as she got to her feet, pulling her short skirt down as she did.

"You'll see," the Doctor said, walking down the stairs towards the door, a giddiness in his step. Amy took of her police vest which left her in a white shirt and black skirt. A little less conspicuous.

"Why exactly are you dressed like that?" Rose wondered, realising she hadn't really gotten an answer to this.

"No reason," Amy said, tossing the vest on the seat behind her. Rose raised her eyebrows at her, inviting her to elaborate. Amy cleared her throat, muttering something incoherent.

"Sorry, wha'?" Rose asked. Amy clenched her teeth together, repeating herself under her breath. "Really, I can't hear you," Rose said, leaning towards her.

"I'm a kiss-o-gram!" Amy exclaimed.

"Right."

The Doctor spun towards them.

"What's a kiss-o-gram?" he wanted to know.

"You dress up and go to parties and kiss people," Rose explained.

"It's a laugh," Amy said defensively.

"What? Just random people?" the Doctor asked. "People you don't even know?"

"It's just kissing," Amy said.

"Never knew there was anything 'just' about it," the Doctor mumbled as he turned away and continued towards the door.

"It actually is a bit of a laugh," Rose defended Amy. The Doctor turned just as he reached the doors, leaning back against one. He smiled crookedly.

"I'm sure it is, my dear Rose," he said. "But not as fun as this." He pushed opened the door next to him while leaning against the other.

Light spilled in from the opening, joined by laughter and music.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"Come and see," he said, smiling. Rose turned to Amy.

"Come on then," she told her and hurried down the stairs, Amy hot on her heals. They halted right next to the Doctor and he gave them a nod of his head to hurry on out there. Rose gave him a smile before she walked out.

They were hit by a kaleidoscope of colour and light. Bright canopies in hot reds, forests greens, and sunflower yellows were set up all around. Beneath them were people of every form and colour. Normal enough looking humans, mixed with aliens with bright red skin or shimmering hair in long ropes down their backs. But what all of them seemed to have in common was a propensity for gaudy jewellery. Everyone was decked out in all manner of shimmering things. Golden and silver or just metal hammered roughly into shapes and tied with strings. Anything that sparkled, be it expensive or cheep it didn't seem to matter. It was tied around their necks, wrists and ankles, bedecked their hands and ears. They wore clothes that shimmered in the moonlight, that sparked off the hundreds of candles placed out all over. Colour ranged from everything from bright pink to sky blue. Up ahead a number of people danced around a big fire, the dresses some wore twirling out around their bare feet, the jewels jingling in the night as they sang with the music.

If the New Years Eve party was a beautiful shimmering banquet of the most expensive and decadent than this was a feast of colour and freedom. The music made you want to move, yearning to join in with the dancers as they twirled around on the grass. The flames sent sparks up into the night sky.

"Pretty girls, so pretty." A horde of elderly women came busying over to Rose and Amy. Their faces were a dark, dark blue with flecks like stars shimmering in swirly patterns on skin so wrinkled by time that it left deep groves in their faces as they smiled. "So pretty." They all grinned, some of them completely toothless. "Must shine. Shine like flowers." They began placing all manner of jewellery over Rose's and Amy's wrists.

Rose instinctively twitched away as they reached for the hand with the bracelet Annabelle Conn had made her. The one that stopped her from hurting anyone if she should loose control. Theoretically speaking at least. They had never had a chance to truly try it after all. But Rose could feel it working all the time. They way it cut her off from not just the Doctor but a little bit from everything. She pulled the hand close to her chest and the old women tried instead to get the girls to bend down so they could place necklaces over their heads.

"Doctor?" Rose asked, glancing over her shoulder. But he stood talking to a green man with tentacles where his ears should be, laughing at something the man had said.

"So pretty," one of the old women said again, finally managing to pull Rose down to her level to place glittering necklaces over her head and fasten sparkly things in her braided hair.

"You're really very kind," Rose tried to tell the women. "But I don't think...-"

"Come, come, " they said, taking both Rose's and Amy's hands and pulling them along.

"Really though," Rose tried again, not sure what she could do to get free without upsetting anyone. She whipped her head around. "Doctor!" she called. His head snapped up and he smiled and waved at her. Oh, the fool, she thought. "Doctor!"

"It's fine!" he called over the heads of the old women ushering Rose and Amy away. "I'll come find you before it starts!"

"Before what starts?!" Amy wanted to know.

"Just don't take any flowers!" the Doctor called after them. "Nothing living, just jewellery and trinkets!"

"What?" Rose asked, trying to stop their momentum.

"No, flowers!" he called again, louder this time.

"What happens if we do?!" Rose shouted over her shoulder. But she didn't hear his answer. She and Amy were swept away to one of the canopies and determinately pushed down onto soft plushy cushions. There the women started busying around them, sweeping long colourful shawls over their shoulders and removing their shoes so they could put ankle bracelets on their feet. Amy leaned closer to Rose.

"What exactly is going on?" she asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"No idea," Rose replied.

"And what was that with flowers?"

"Dunno," Rose admitted. "Just don't let them give you any, I guess."

A few of the women clapped their hands as they regarded their finished work. They pulled the two girls to their feet.

"Night be yours," they said pushing the two of them forwards. Both Rose and Amy jingled as they walked, the jewellery and sparkling shawls shimmering in the candlelight. Smiles surrounded them as they were ushered towards the fire and the music.

"Not at all sure if I should be fighting this or just going with it," Amy called back over her shoulder towards Rose.

"Go with it," Rose advised from her rather extensive experience.

The fire was far bigger than Rose had first thought. All manner of creatures and humans were dancing around it, the music playing even more intoxicating up close. Rose looked around to see where it was coming from, finding a trio of musicians with instruments resembling guitars but with a lot more strings. Their fingers moved like liquid over them producing tones to stir the senses and elevate the pulse.

Rose heard a yelp from right next to her and saw Amy being swept away by a man with pointy ears and a mass of wild green hair to match the Tharzies prince's. He pulled her into the dance and Rose quickly lost sight of them around the fire.

Suddenly someone clasped Rose's hand and she immediately pulled it free, hurt brown eyes met hers and for a moment it made her heart freeze inside her chest. But the eyes were unfamiliar. They belonged to one of those with thick ropes of dark glittering hair trailing down their backs like vines. Rose managed to give an apologetic smile before they danced away and was lost in the crowd.

"Rude to deny a dance," one of the old women told her. Rose glanced down at her. She had eyes like blue glass.

"Sorry. Reflex."

"I can tell," the woman said with a nod. "Lot's of reflexes with you. Reflex to run, to fight."

"What are you then?" Rose asked. "Some fortuneteller?"

"Fortunes no," the old lady said. "Eyes, yes. It's all in the eyes, isn't it?" Rose didn't answer. "Like your friend. The man not the girl. His eyes are old for such a young face." The woman glanced up at Rose and Rose reluctantly met her gaze. "Yours are different though. Neither old nor young." She narrowed her eyes on Rose with a thoughtful expression. "Something else," she said. "Something..."

But before the woman could finish someone clasped Rose's hand and pulled her away too hastily to give her a chance to resist. She was swiftly pulled into the dance. She whipped her head around to find it was the Doctor who had swept her away. He was grinning at her.

"Dancing, Rose!" he told her happily, raising his voice so she could hear him over the music. "Don't you remember dancing?"

"I do," Rose said. "But I'm not entirely sure you do." He was currently waving his arms over his head like some crazy cockatoo.

"You should try it," he said. "It's quite freeing." And he wobbled his head back and forth with his arms making Rose actually laugh out loud.

"You are mad," she said, smiling and holding out her hands for him. He immediately took them, grinning. "Me and my mates used to do this all the time when we were kids," she told him and leaned back. "Now spin."

She pulled him with her and they spun and spun, until it seemed as though they were the ones standing still and the rest of the world was spinning madly around them. Rose and the Doctor both laughed and Rose thought that he was right. It was freeing. And she hadn't felt free in a long time. Trapped as she was by ominous warnings and the risk of loosing control of a power greater than the atom bomb she'd locked herself away in a prison with no walls but a prison none the less. It didn't surprise her that it took the Doctor to show her there was a sky again.

"How do we stop?!" the Doctor called over the music. Rose only laughed, leaning her head back and staring up at the star strewn sky above them. She laughed even as it made her dizzy enough to topple over. The Doctor tightened his grip on her hands and pulled her closer, slowing their pace until they'd managed to stop. Rose shifted her gaze from the stars to him. But she couldn't focus. He was spinning. Everything was spinning. She giggled as she took a couple of steps, unable to keep her balance and falling to the ground, her hands slipping out of the Doctor's.

Rose looked up at the Doctor who was standing and holding onto his head as though he feared it might split in two at any given second. She got back up. But the world had not stopped spinning and one careful step forwards was enough to send her off kilter again. The Doctor reached out, managing to clasp her elbows to prevent her fall. Except he didn't prevent it.

"Oops," Rose uttered as one resigned to her fate. She landed rather ungracefully on her bum dragging the Doctor down with her. Only he landed face first next to her on the grass.

"I am going to throw up," the Doctor mumbled without raising his head. Rose laughed and let herself fall back.

They were right at the edge of the other dancers. Just out of their path. But some of them still jumped over Rose's legs as they twirled past. She looked up at the sky as the world slowly stopped spinning.

It was a beautiful night. Decked with stars and two large gold flecked moons in the sky, right opposite each other. Suddenly the Doctor's face obscured her view of the moons above.

"It's starting soon," he said, grinning down at her.

"What is?" she asked and his smile widened.

"You know, the pretty flowers and lights and... Oh! That reminds me!" He sat up suddenly, shooting to his feet. Rose struggled up into a sitting position. He held out his hands for her. She took both of them and he pulled her up easily.

"Reminds you of what?" she asked.

"Promised someone I'd settle an argument," the Doctor said, smiling impishly and wringing his hands with absolute glee. "A centuries old argument." He wagged his rather none-existent eyebrows. "You wait here," he announced pointing at her as though she might need a further indication as to who he was referring to.

"Doctor, wait!" she called after him as he rushed past, disappearing in the crowds. She made to follow him when Amy suddenly crashed into her.

"Rose!" she called with delight. "I can't dance anymore," she announced and plucked down directly on the ground. Rose laughed at her.

"I can see that," she said.

"You know that thing with the flowers," Amy said. "I still have no idea what it's about but I've dodged several and some of them from people I'm not sure are actual people..." She looked around. "Hey, where's the Doctor?" Didn't I just see him with you?" she asked.

"Yeah, he took off. Something about an argument." Rose gave her shoulders a shake thinking he'd be back eventually.

"Rose?" Amy looked up at her from where she sat. "These are proper aliens aren't they?" she asked. "Like proper, proper aliens."

"Yes," Rose agreed, thinking some of them couldn't remotely even pass for humanoid.

"Like proper - tentacle, third arm, huge...-" Amy held up her hands to show just how huge. "...headed - aliens."

Rose leaned down towards the other girl.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"I love it," Amy said, rocking back and laughing. Rose straightened, suddenly spotting the old woman with the incredibly blue eyes.

"Hang on a minute," Rose told Amy and hurried over to the old woman. But Amy scrambled to her feet and followed. "Excuse me!" The woman stopped as Rose and Amy came over. "Sorry, I never got your name," Rose said.

"Greta," the old woman answered.

"I'm Rose," Rose said. "And this is Amy." Amy waved. Greta folded her hands in front of her, smiling at them both.

"Someone tickled your fancy?" she asked, surveying them. "Oh, but no flowers. And so beautiful too."

"Yeah, wha' exactly is the deal wit' the flowers?" Amy asked over Rose's shoulder, her Scottish accent making itself known.

"Each flower is a promise," Greta explained.

"Yeah, a promise of what?" Rose wanted to know, not that she'd been offered any flowers, but she hadn't exactly danced with half the population either.

"This is the night of Hymntock," Greta said.

"Hymn- what now?" Amy asked.

"Night of souls," Rose replied, watching the woman wearily. "Hymntock is a really old word for soul."

"How do you know that?" Amy asked. "And I thought the TARDIS translated everything. That's what you told me when I was little."

"She didn't translate it because it doesn't strictly speaking mean soul," Rose said. "We don't have one proper word for it. It is a soul that's lost, wandering. searching."

"Like a ghost?"

"No, not really. You don't have to be dead to be lost."

"Again, how do you know this?" Amy asked.

"Because someone told me once," Rose said thoughtfully. "Or I heard it or saw it somewhere..." She shook her head to clear it and hopefully get rid of the headache that had suddenly started pounding through her temples.

Rose could see so much if she let go of her control. She could touch every inch of time and space, pull the strings, weave them together or tear them apart. But doing that would kill her. She already had done it once. So long ago when all she'd wanted to do was save the Doctor. Those memories were locked away. Safely inside her head. Because if she ever looked at them they would burn right through her. She had slipped up since then. Touched upon the energy surging wildly through her blood like fire. And she knew that she was lucky she was still alive. One of these days her will wouldn't hold it and the Doctor wouldn't be there to stop her. On that day she might come to thank the devil for her help.

"Rose!'

Rose blinked once, startled as Amy's face swam into focus.

"Are you alright?" Amy asked. Rose blinked a couple more times, the headache slowly dissipating.

"Fine," she said.

"Really?" Amy asked. "Because I could swear your eyes turned bright gold for just a second there."

"I'm fine," Rose insisted. "It's nothing." She looked up to find Greta staring at her. She raised her finger slowly, pointing at Rose.

"Ulvick!" she said. "Ulvick!" And she turned and bolted.

"Ok, and what's ulvick?" Amy asked, her brow furrowed as she stared after the woman.

"Wolf," Rose said. "It means, wolf."

Rose took a step back, her gaze shooting around, trying to perceive something that was just beyond her understanding. Again that horrible feeling twisted her gut. That there was something not right. Something about this place she should remember but didn't.

"I..." Rose looked around. "I think I've been here before," she said.

"You have?"

"I don't know." She turned away. "I need to go. I need to find the Doctor."

"I'll come with you," Amy said, starting to follow.

"No." Rose turned on her so suddenly Amy stumbled to a halt. "Something's not quite right. I need to speak to him alone. Stay here. We'll be back in just a minute. I promise."

"Rose..."

But Rose hurried away. She scurried past people all jumping and dancing with the music. She searched the shapes, looking for a familiar one until she checked herself, realising that it wasn't the familiar slim figure and messy head of hair that she needed to find. That was gone. Stockier build, still an impressive mass of hair albeit less gravity- defying and a bowtie is what she needed to look for.

It was like she needed to rewire her brain. But she'd done this once before, she reminded herself and it had been fine in the end. Less complicated back then but still fine.

Finally she spotted him under one of the canopies, sitting in a ring of six other's. He was chugging down something from a big leather flask. Rose hurried over to him, hunching down behind him.

"Doctor," she growled in his ear. "What are you doing?" The Doctor lowered the flask from his lips and turned a stupidly grinning face on her.

"Rose Tyler!" he exclaimed in delight.

"Yes, that is my name," Rose agreed. "Good job, Doctor." He looked pleased as though she'd actually complemented him. "I need to talk to you," she told him.

"Now?" he asked, looking around at the other people in the circle.

"What exactly is this argument you are supposed to settle?" Rose asked, noticing that most of the people either had stupid grins on their faces to match the Doctor's or had bloodshot eyes and vacant gazes.

"How many of these it takes to fell one exemplary lord of time," he said, bouncing the flask.

"You said the argument was centuries old," Rose reminded him. He bobbed her lightly on the nose.

"Exactly," he said.

"Ok, whatever." Rose took the flask away from him and handed it to the next chap over. "I need to talk to you now," she told him again and straightened. He looked up at her.

"You are really tall from down here," he said. "And blonde. Though you've always been very blonde."

"Excuse me?"

"It's so pretty, your hair," he said, grinning up at her.

"Doctor...?" she asked, suspicion creeping into her voice. "You're not...? Are you?"

"Am I what?" he asked.

Rose reached down and grabbed his elbow, pulling him to his feet. He rocked a little as he gained altitude.

"Not so tall now," he remarked.

"Doctor," Rose hissed. "Are you... drunk?"

"Of course not," he said, straightening his jacket. "I am only on my second round. It'll take more than that to affect a Time lord of my stature." He swayed a little and Rose reached out to stop him falling. "I'm good," he assured her.

"You are pissed," Rose informed him.

"Am not!"

Rose stepped closer to him, staring intently into his dilated pupils. She didn't think she'd ever seen him drunk or even slightly intoxicated. Didn't really seem to be his thing.

"What are the first ten numbers of the TARDIS base-code?" Rose asked. The Doctor straightened his bowtie.

"I'll have you know, Rose Tyler," he told her. "That I can do that the whole thing in my sleep."

"Then giving me the first ten numbers shouldn't be much of a problem now should it?"

The Doctor held up a finger as though preparing to start reciting. But then his eyes moved to hers.

"I don't like what you're insinuating," he said with the audacity to sound affronted.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Rose asked, raising two right in front of his face. He squinted at her hand.

"Oh, I dunno," he said. "Ten? Twenty?" And he giggled.

"Ok," Rose said and grabbed his arm, preparing to haul him out of there. "Let's go." But the Doctor immediately pulled free.

"You're not the boss of me," he said.

"No, I'm not the boss of you. But I need to talk to you because something's weird and I think maybe we should go."

"Go, that's all you want to do isn't it?" The Doctor turned to his drinking companions that were by now eagerly watching the exchange. "She wants to leave," he told them. "Me I mean. Wants to leave me."

"Doctor, stop it," Rose asked in a hushed tone.

"Just up and go. Don't matter if I love her."

"That's not funny," Rose said, hurt in her voice that she doubted the Doctor even noticed.

"Should marry her," one of the other guys in the ring suggested.

"Tried that!' the Doctor announced. "She didn't much like it though."

"Doctor, stop it," Rose told him again. The Doctor turned and looked back at her.

"Won't have me, this one," he said. "Not good enough for her anymore."

"You know that's not true," Rose said.

"Isn't it?" he countered.

"I stayed didn't I?" she told him. He leaned down towards her. She expected to be hit with a wave of alcoholic fumes but his breath smelled nice. Something like toffee and cinnamon.

"Yes, but for how long?"

Rose didn't answer him because she had no answer to give. She didn't know how much time she'd get with him. Especially since she shouldn't be here with him at all to begin with. There would come a moment when she had to leave. When there would no longer be a choice but the longer she stayed with him the harder it would be to do. What if when the time came she couldn't do it at all?

Rose grabbed his elbow again and tried to stir him away.

"Let's just go," she said. "You need to sober up." She got him a few steps away before he yanked her to a stop.

"You think because I changed that I no longer know you," he said. "I know you." Rose looked up into his hazy gaze, clouded by whatever he'd been drinking. "And if you just..." he reached down, wrapping his fingers around her wrist. "...let me take this off, I'll show you." She felt it as his fingers closed around the bracelet. She pulled free.

"Don't," she warned. Telling him to back off should be enough to get him to do so but the drink was clouding more than his gaze. He stalked after her as she backed up. She could distantly hear the sound of the small bells around her ankles as she moved.

"Why not?" he asked. "What are you so afraid of?" His eyes grew hooded as he took her in. The trinkets and jewels in her hair, the way it all sparked off the candlelight. "You aren't betraying who I was you know," he told her, his voice husky and slurred. "It's all me."

"Doctor, please," Rose asked of him. "I really do need to speak to you."

"So talk," he said. "I'm not stopping you."

"Not about this," Rose said.

"Then what about?"

She sighed, contemplating whether to tell him now or wait until she'd gotten some water into his system.

"I think I've been here before," Rose said, suspecting that they might not have a lot of time. The Doctor paused, his eyes narrowed on her.

"Of course you have," he said to Rose's utter surprise.

"What?"

"That's why I brought you here again," he said. "Because you liked it so much last time. You danced all through the night. You couldn't seem to stop. There are few times I've seen you so happy."

"I don't remember that," Rose said.

"What do you mean, you don't remember?" The Doctor was clearly struggling to focus because some part of his brain recognised that something was actually going on.

"I...I knew a word I shouldn't have known, that the TARDIS had trouble translating and then one of the old women called me wolf." The Doctor squinted at her. "And not a regular wolf, the bad kind. The me, kind."

"Wolf? Why would she do that?"

"You tell me. You're the one that says we've been here before."

"We have," he insisted rather forcefully. "I took you here after..." he swallowed and shook his head, pressing his palm to his forehead. "After Mickey and leaving your mother. It was the first time I saw you smile after that. How can you not remember it?"

Rose looked around as though something might be able to spark her memory but nothing did. She had this sinking feeling in her stomach like when you know you've forgotten something important but she couldn't for the life of her remember what.

"Why did you bring me here then?" Rose asked. "Why this place?" The Doctor squeezed his eyes together, looking as though he was thinking really hard or doing something else entirely that he should probably not do just then.

"It was a long time ago," he said. "This time. Their time. This planet. They didn't really celebrate the same things. It didn't mean the same. It's changed a hundred times across several millennia. I just wanted you to see..."

He suddenly held his wrist up in front of his face, squinting at his watch. "It's time." He reached out and clasped her wrist. "Come on," he said and pulled her along.

"Doctor." Rose tried to pull free but he had an iron grip around her wrist. They were moving through the camp and Rose slowly noticed that everyone had begun moving in the same direction. She was reminded of Poosh and the masses moving towards the square to celebrate the rising of the moon. The moon Davros and Annabelle Conn had later stolen. Was this something similar? Some form of worship or ritual?

The pair of them made it to the edge of the crowd. Before them was a huge valley spread with meadows as far as the eye could see.

"Come on," the Doctor said, pulling her with him and leaving the crowds behind. They walked down a trail between grass and small delicate white flowers as high as her waist.

"Doctor, please," Rose tried to tell him. "What are we doing?"

"You'll see," he said. She glanced back at the crowds behind them. None of them followed but some stared at them curiously. She couldn't see Amy.

Suddenly the Doctor stopped. She nearly bumped into him.

"It's starting," he said.

"What is?" Rose asked.

"Just look," he said.

Rose looked up at the sky. The moons were shifting. Slowly one of them revealed a small blue burning orb. Far, far away in the sky.

"It is dwarf star," the Doctor said. "A blue one." Rose's gaze fell from the spectacle in the sky and any words she might have spoken died on her lips. Everywhere around them iridescent silver flowers bloomed suddenly as though out of nowhere. They filled the fields around them. Beautiful flowers with big luscious pedals unfolding with slow, exact grace.

"Once every two thousand years the light of the blue dwarf reaches this planet and they bloom," the Doctor said. "Only then." The flowers seemed to reflect the light from the blue star and so they glowed. It might be one of the most beautiful things Rose had ever seen.

"Each flower is a soul," the Doctor said. He still wasn't sober. She could hear it in the way he slurred a word or two but his sentiment was sincere. "I told you this last time," he said. "There was a great battle here. A battle that everyone lost. No one left to even bury the dead. And so as the earth took them back..."

"The flowers grew in their stead," Rose said, the words coming to her from some dark corner of her mind. A gush of wind blew across the meadow sending a cloud of glowing particles into the air like silver fireflies.

"Yes," the Doctor agreed, as it swirled around them. "The flowers grew and the red dwarf turned into a blue one allowing them to bloom. For one night. Sending their pollen into the air and reminding us that souls lost are not lost at all but free. Free to soar. Free to be reborn."

Free. A beautiful notion. Rose felt a couple of tears trailing down her cheek as she realised why he'd once brought her here. "You wanted me to know you thought Mickey wasn't lost." Rose said, her words nearly getting caught in her throat. "That he was free." The Doctor tore his eyes away from the beautiful spectacle around them and looked at her.

"Yes," he said. She brushed the tears hastily away. "Do you remember?" But Rose shook her head. There was something at the very back of her mind but it was locked away with the rest. The things she wasn't allowed to remember lest it hurt her. But why? What was dangerous about this memory?

"So what?" Rose asked, drawing in a hasty breath. "You brought me here again so I'd know you're the one who's not lost this time? Is that it?" He said nothing, only watched her with that cloudy gaze. She had no idea what he saw. No idea what her face betrayed.

The Doctor reached up his hand and touched her. She didn't draw away. Just stood absolutely still. He sighed as no familiar electricity accompanied the touch. No awareness of the other's thoughts or emotions, no link flaring to life. His gaze fell to her wrist but her sleeve hid the bracelet. His eyes ran back up to hers. He took a step closer to her.

"Take it off," he said softly. "Let me feel you again." He ran his fingers over her cheek and along her jaw. Though the shape of his hands were different he touched her the same. With a careful strength.

The pale light around them cast interesting shadows across his face. His new, unfamiliar face. "Take it off," he said again, leaning down towards her. Rose absentmindedly noticed he was closer to her in height now. "I miss it," he said. "Feeling your mind inside mine." His hand skated down her neck, his touch light as butterfly wings. They ran down her arm to wrap around her wrist and the bracelet and she wanted to let him do it. Let him unclasp it and just let it fall off. Let go. "You have no idea how much," he whispered and she could hear his voice cracking. His fingers slipped under her sleeve as his breath tickled her ear, making her shiver. "Let me feel you again, Rose." His fingers ran along the bracelet, deftly searching for the clasp to release it. He halted as he found it, straightening slowly and looking into her eyes.

No longer dark brown, Rose thought but a bluish green. Only in this light they looked almost as silver as the flowers around them. A breeze caught a string of her hair, blowing it across her face. The Doctor caught it, carefully curling it behind her ear. His hand lingered, his eyelids dropping over his eyes only to flick up again. There was a careful question in them as he moved a little closer. His gaze fell to her lips as he leaned down slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop him should she wish to. She felt his fingers tighten around the clasp as his lips moved closer to hers. "I'm a little worried I've forgotten how to do this," he mumbled and she almost smiled. She hadn't noticed how tense she was until his words made her relax ever so slightly. "You let me know if I'm doing it wrong," he said and she felt his lips brush lightly against hers as he spoke. Rose's eyes drifted shut and she was rising up to meet him when something buzzed.

She froze before she realised it was her phone buzzing in her pocket. She stepped back and the Doctor let her go. Let her slip like water between his fingers. Didn't even try to stop her.

Rose got the phone out of her pocket, not looking at him. It was an alarm. An alarm she didn't remember setting. But judging by the message she wouldn't. It told her that what she'd gotten from the Tharzies prince was an image of a creature you forgot the minute you looked away. A tall and thin creature in a black suit, pale skin and dark, dark eyes.

"Rose? What is it?" Her gaze snapped up to his as she relaised the importance of what she'd found. This was the biggest lead she'd gotten and it explained why it had been so hard to attain, since no one could even remember ever having encountered them. The Silence, they were called and that was all she had to go on for months. All the information the Shadow Proclamation had. A name. But now she had this.

"I have to go," she said and turned to leave.

"Didn't take you long," the Doctor said with so much bitterness it made Rose halt. He thought she was leaving him. He couldn't know it was him she was trying to save.

She turned slowly towards him only to have him walk past her, heading back towards the people and the festivities. Rose ran after him after only a moment of hesitation. She clasped his hand but he tore it free, not breaking stride. She hurried around him, putting a hand to his chest to halt him. But he didn't stop immediately. So she had to push against him. He had sparks of white, glimmering pollen in his hair, making it look as though he'd just come out of the snow and his eyes were still clouded by drink. Perhaps if she was lucky he'd remember none of this in the morning. But it was highly doubtful. Though tipsy he was not properly mashed.

"What?" he asked her irritably when she said nothing. She moved her finger back and forth across his chest, staring at her hand instead of at him. "What, Rose!?" She tightened her hand into fist. It felt as though she was walking a tightrope. One misstep and she'd fall.

"I..." she began but didn't know how to continue, not even sure what she'd planned on saying when she'd run after him. Slowly he wrapped his fingers around her fist and then he pushed it off him. He moved to pass her but Rose got a hold of his sleeve and turned him back. Before she had time to think more about any of it she threw her arms around his neck.

It took him a moment to cautiously wrap his around her. When she didn't let go his hold gradually tightened. He held on as Rose buried her face against his shoulder.

"We might not get a forever," she said, drawing in a deep breath. He smelled of fresh flowers and cinnamon. "But we did get to have something." Rose ran her fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck. "Something amazing. Something very few people get. And I just want you to know it was important. It was the most important thing in the whole universe."

For a moment he held her like he used to, like he would never let go. Except he did. He did let go.

"That's the thing, Rose," he said. He removed her arms from around his neck. "It wasn't the most important thing to me." He wasn't looking at her even as he held on to her hands. He squeezed her fingers between his before giving them slowly back to her. He raised his gaze. "It is," he said. "It _is_ the most important thing."

She could see the conviction in his pale eyes, the blind faith and the pain that caused. The pain he knew it would always cause.

"It always will be," he said and he walked away.

Pain and pleasure.

Love and hate.

Could one absolute even exist without the other?

Rose watched the Doctor's retreating back but this time knowing there was no point in chasing after him. Some movement caught her eye and she unwittingly shifted her gaze.

Rose's heart stopped inside her chest. Her blood turned instantly to ice inside her veins. There at the edge of the crowds stood one of them. She knew it the instant she saw it. Knew it was the same creature she'd seen an image off on the TARDIS before Amy had interrupted her. Tall and thin, dark suit and pale skin. A large alien head and eyes as black as the shadow under your bed at night.

It was death, she thought with horror. Death come to claim its toll. And all Rose could think was,

no, you can't have him.

You can't have him


	52. Chapter 52 - Trust

Chapter 52 - Trust

Rose stared at the creature, feeling fear threatening to cripple her. She knew what would happen the minute she looked away. She'd forget. Forget she ever saw it. She had to remember. She needed her phone. Rose reached into her pocket to get her mobile but it wasn't there. She searched frantically without taking her eyes of the thing staring back at her. But she couldn't find it. Damn him, she thought and rushed after the Doctor.

She clasped his arm roughly but forgot why the minute she did. He turned towards her and she saw her mobile in his hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked him "That's mine."

"You won't tell me what is going on," he told her. Rose snatched her phone back.

"What's the Silence?" he asked. Rose looked up at him with dread.

"You went through my phone?"

"You won't talk to me!" he told her. "I can't even tell what you're feeling anymore, much less what you're bloody thinking!"

"Oh, you don't even wanna know what I'm thinking right now," Rose snarled, thinking she'd like very much to slap him.

"Don't worry," he said, just slurring the words a little. "That look I know well enough and just whom you've inherited it from."

Rose took a calming breath as she struggled to regain some sense. There really was no point in arguing with him while he was in this state. Better they just get back and find Amy. She looked past the Doctor and she saw it again. It was standing right where it had last time. When she'd seen it only a moment ago. Seen it and then forgotten.

"Doctor," Rose said as she kept her eyes on it. "What is this planet?"

"What?"

"This planet?" Rose insisted with a hint of urgency. "Is there anything special about it?"

"Special?" He scratched his head. "Besides the souls of the dead taking flight every two thousand years?"

"That is a beautiful superstition and you know it," Rose told him.

"It is where the Church will evolve eventually," he said thoughtfully.

"Church? What Church?"

"The Church of the Papal Mainframe," he said. "It will take a few millennia yet but it grew into a rather powerful organisation. I really don't know much about it though. Haven't run into them all that much. Rose, what is going on?"

"The Church of the Papal Mainframe," she repeated as she wrote it into her phone.

"What are you looking at anyway?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said clasping his arm, preventing him from turning around. It wasn't time yet, she thought. She put away her phone and got his sonic hastily out of his pocket, for the first time thankful that he was slow because he was still a bit tipsy.

Almost like she was in a trance Rose pulled up her sleeve and put the tip of the screwdriver to the inside of her arm. She altered the sonic output. Raising the intensity, narrowing the field. Doing something she knew it was never to be used for. Rose cried out as it marred her skin and she fell to her knees. Immediately the Doctor was there.

"Rose?!" He clasper her shoulders, his voice urgent and worried. She looked up at him, her gaze a little hazy. He took her arm, inspecting it. "Why did you do that?" he asked. "That's not even supposed to be possible." Rose's gaze flickered down to her arm. A small black line like a burn marred her skin. She stared at it with utter confusion.

"I have no idea," she said. The Doctor looked around them, clearly searching for some source as to her sudden madness. But he apparently found nothing as he turned back to her burned arm and as Rose stared at the small black line she realised with horror what it might be the beginning of. A count. A count of black lines just as River had shown her. Four more and the count was up. Her time was up. With him. Her time with the Doctor. And to think she'd almost let him take the bracelet off. How could she have been so foolish? Take it off and let the bond reaffirm itself. Let her mind once more bind with his and leaving him was not only going to be the most difficult thing she ever did it was going to be impossible.

Rose stared at the horrible black line. It was going to leave a scar, she thought. But she'd known that when she did it. She needed a scar. Something to always remind her of what was at stake. The Doctor held her arm in his hands, his thumb running softly back and forth over her skin.

"I don't understand anything about you anymore," he said. "Why would you hurt yourself?" Rose pulled her arm back. She knew why. She knew what the count was for. She'd seen one. One of the Silence. The mark was so she'd know she had.

"We should get out of here," Rose said and got to her feet. The Doctor followed, nodding silently.

She wanted to tell him. Oh, how much she wanted to tell him everything. Secrets made you lonely. So horribly lonely. She just wanted to confide in him. To talk it through and fight this together as they always had. But if River was right then such a thing could mean the end of the Doctor and the universe needed him. They all needed him.

They both turned to go back and for now he didn't press her about what she'd done. Or what was going on. Slowly they came to notice how quiet it was. No more music, the people had gone silent. The Doctor and Rose made it out of the valley, both covered in the sparkling pollen. Rose brushed it off her jacket and tried to get it out of her hair but she would undoubtedly need a shower to completely accomplish it. The people had retreated into small groups, whispering quietly amongst themselves. Something was off about the mood. You could feel it on the air.

"What happened to the party?" the Doctor asked, looking around. Rose felt her muscles tensing, preparing to either flee or fight.

They walked around the fire to find an assembly of people with dark blue skin like the old women who had put all the trinkets on Rose and Amy, standing and apparently waiting for them. Rose kept looking around, afraid she'd see one of the Silence again. Whatever horror their presence brought she wasn't ready for it.

Greta came out of the group of people pointing her finger at Rose much as she had before.

"Ulvick!" she said again. It sounded like an accusation. A foul and distasteful one. "Ulvick!"

"What is going on here then?" the Doctor asked cheerily, clapping his hands together as he surveyed the scene.

"The wolf is back," Greta said, still pointing at Rose. The Doctor glanced at her, giving her a once over.

"She doesn't look like a wolf," he remarked. The group parted and someone yanked Amy forwards.

"Amelia Pond!" the Doctor exclaimed with delight. Oh, just don't tell me he's too bloody tipsy to even take this seriously, Rose thought. "How are you?" he asked her.

"Fine," Amy said, regarding the Doctor suspiciously.

"Excellent," the Doctor said with a smile. "Didn't take any flowers though did you?" he asked her suddenly. Amy shook her head. "Good," He wrung his hands as he looked around at everyone. "Good. So..." he held his hands out. "What is that you want? I'm assuming you want something."

"The wolf," Greta spat. The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"You wanna trade?" He laughed. "I do admit the redhead's an absolute hoot and the blonde she's been kinda getting on my nerves lately...insists on lying to me you see. Doesn't trust me anymore. Hurt's that does," he glared at Rose, anger flaring briefly in his eyes.

"So trade her away," Greta said.

"Well," the Doctor said, walking over to Greta. "I would, but you see I can't."

"Why? Just trade her away. Give her to us."

"And what exactly do you plan on doing with her?" the Doctor asked, squinting down at Greta. "She's not easy to kill. Trust me."

"No, killing," Greta assured.

"What then?" the Doctor asked. "You're not going to make her a god or something are you? I've been down that road myself, it never ends well."

"She's for the Silent ones," Greta said.

"The Silent ones," the Doctor smiled. "I like it." He turned back to Rose. "What do you think, Rose? Silent ones? Got a nice ring to it." His tone was light and cheery but his eyes were hard on Rose's. She said nothing. The Doctor turned back to Greta.

"So where are these Silent ones then?" he asked. "I'd love to meet one."

"They hide," Greta said. "They wait. Wait for the Ulvick."

"While we're on the subject, why do you call her Ulvick?" the Doctor asked.

"It is what she named herself," Greta explained. "She's been here before. Destroyed many of the silent ones."

Rose started. She'd done what? She caught the Doctor's eyes but he looked as surprised as she did. Whatever she'd done he had not seen it or he, for some reason, didn't remember it either.

"If that's true it must have been like hundreds of years ago," the Doctor pointed out.

"The Sjalen people have long memories and good story tellers," Greta said.

"Look," Rose cut in. "I don't know what you think I did but I'm sorry, alright. If you just let Amy go we'll be on our way. You won't see us again. I promise."

"Oh, you're keeping promises now are you?" the Doctor asked her before Greta could say anything. There was the barest hint of bitterness in his tone that she doubted anyone noticed but her.

"What?" Rose narrowed her eyes at him.

"You promised me forever," he pointed out. "...and all it took was one little regeneration to throw that whole thing out the window."

"One little..." Rose began but stuttered to a stop. "Need I remind you that you abandoned me for nearly six months!" Rose pointed out.

"Not on purpose," the Doctor informed her.

Rose snorted. "Well, that just makes it all alright then."

"You're choosing to leave," he said. "That's the difference."

"Guys!" Amy interrupted them. "There's a time and a place and I don't think this is it," she told them.

"He's just being like this because he's pissed," Rose said. Amy's eyes grew round as she looked the Doctor over.

"Went a little crazy on the sauce there did we, Doctor?" she asked.

"I resent your implication, Pond," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, crazy suggests a lot," Rose said. "He's a lightweight this one."

"Lightweight?" The Doctor pulled himself up. "I am insulted."

"Two rounds was it?" Rose told him.

"He's had two drinks?" Amy asked. "That is light."

"Stop ganging up on me you two," the Doctor accused of them both.

Greta was looking back and forth at the three of them with a bewildered expression. Everyone else simply stared without a clue what was going on.

"Well, I might just be a lightweight but at least I'm not a coward," he told Rose.

"What did you call me?" Rose asked.

"You heard me," he said. Rose walked over to him.

"You have no idea why I do the things I do," she spat.

"So tell me," he suggested.

"No."

"No?" he asked. "Just, no?"

"Yes."

"Wait, is that yes- no or yes- yes."

"No."

"No- yes or...-"

"You can bicker all you like," Greta cut in. "The Ulvick is not leaving." The Doctor turned to her.

"Forgive me but we're trying to have a conversation here," he told Greta.

"This conversation is over," Rose said, stepping away from the Doctor. She turned to Greta.

"Release Amy, I'll stay."

"What? No!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Would you rather have her stay then?" Rose gesticulated towards Amy.

"No, but...-"

"Release the girl," Greta told the other's behind her. They did as she asked. "Take that one and go," Greta told the Doctor. "Be glad you get to keep one." Amy looked between the Doctor and Rose.

"Go on," the Doctor told her. "Get back to the TARDIS."

"I..." Amy began.

"Go," Rose insisted. Reluctantly Amy scurried away from the group of people with skin as dark blue as the sky at twilight and equally dusted with stars. They would have been beautiful under different circumstances.

"Pond!" the Doctor called. Amy turned back towards them. He reached into his pocket and withdrew something small, tossing it to her. Amy caught the TARDIS key. "You're going to need that," he said. Amy gave him a nod and hurried off.

"Time for you to go too," Greta told the Doctor. "You have somewhere you need to be."

"Yeah, I don't leave her," the Doctor said, nodding towards Rose. "Again." he corrected himself. "I'm not leaving her again. And never on purpose," he added.

"Just get out of here," Rose sighed. "I can handle myself."

"Oh, I've never doubted that," the Doctor muttered.

"Leave or we will make you leave," Greta told him.

"Now, I don't want to suggest you can't because..." He indicated Greta by waving his hand in her direction. "...you look tiny a bit like shrivelled paper. Never judge anyone by their appearance I always say," he grinned drunkenly. "But I mean." He indicated himself. "Hu? Pretty good right?" He glanced over his shoulder at Rose who gave him an eye roll the likes to make her dizzy.

"Get rid of him," Greta told two of the biggest looking guys from the group behind her. They immediately marched over and grabbed the Doctor, actually lifting him off the ground.

"Wow, you are really strong," the Doctor remarked with a frown.

"Put him down." Rose's head whipped around to find Amy standing with a very big gun trained on Greta.

"Where in all the universe did you get that?" the Doctor asked in disbelief as he stared at Amy.

"Found it in the TARDIS," Amy said. "It was just lying there."

"I don't have guns on my ship!" the Doctor announced. "There are no guns on my ship."

"It's Jacks' gun," Rose told him. "The Daleks, remember?"

"Oh, right," the Doctor admitted. "But that is the only gun!" he felt it important to inform everyone. Like just having guns around was enough to put a blemish to his good name. Rose had always assumed the no-guns rule was just a part of who he was. She had never given it much thought. But perhaps he'd not always had such an aversion for them. He'd fought in a war after all. Probably something had happened then to make him that way. They might have shared a bond strong enough to bend fate but there was still so much she did not really know about him.

"I said, let him go," Amy repeated.

"We do not fear your technology," Greta told them.

"Yeah, well fear this," Amy said and fired the gun. She shot a table filled with food and it blew up in ball of flame.

Everyone jumped, scrambling away from the blast as food and splintered wood rained down around them. The two guys holding the Doctor let him go abruptly.

"Ops."

"Oh, did it have to be the food?" the Doctor asked as he regained his balance once his feet touched ground again. "I was starting to get a bit famished actually."

Rose saw some movement out of the corner of her eye which made her turn her head. Something moved at the edge of the forest and for just a second she thought she knew what it was. But it was impossible and then it was gone. She turned back towards the others. The Doctor seemed to still be caught up in his dismay over the food while Amy tried to convince him it was better she shot the table rather than him.

Rose began to realise that if she was ever going to find out what these Silent ones wanted she was going to have to go and find out herself and she was going to have to go now. The Doctor wasn't going to leave her here after all, if only to prove his bloody point and in his state she wasn't even sure how much use he'd be. Better she figure this out on her own.

So while everyone stayed rather focused on Amy with her very big gun and poor aim Rose backed away. She scrambled behind a few tents and leaned back out behind a corner. Amy was waving the gun around and most people were scurrying out her way. Except Greta. She stood as cool and calm as ever. The Doctor looked as though he was trying to see his bowtie, pushing his head back and looking like an idiot.

But just before Rose was to pull back, satisfied that no one had yet noticed her departure, the Doctor's gaze snapped up and met hers. Gone were the haze of alcohol and childishness. His eyes were sharp on hers. Rose understood then, this charade of his was a way of buying time. Of letting the enemy feel superior. He couldn't know what Rose was planning on doing. There was no way for them to speak without words. Not while she wore the bracelet around her wrist. She was surprised he seemed to trust her to go off and do whatever it was she was a doing. And Rose was reminded of that quote saying if you loved something you should set it free and if it comes back to you it's yours forever, but if it doesn't it was never yours at all.

At the end of the day she hoped he had enough faith in her and in them to do that. Let her go and believe she would come back to him. Because she would. In the end she'd always come back to him.

The Doctor gave her the barest of nods and Rose turned and hurried away. No one shouted for her to stop so she rushed on, reaching the edge of the woods surrounding the camp. Still nothing. She disappeared inside the trees, the fading light of the blue dwarf star her only illumination. The second moon was coming around and would soon obscure it. Then she would be left with moon- and starlight alone.

The ground was mostly covered with tall grass, the canopies overhead sparse, so plenty of light ciphered down between the leaves. The dwarf star cast everything in shimmering shades of blue. But even as Rose made her way through the trees its light was dimming. Once it was gone the flowers down in the valley would cease to bloom and would not unfold again for another two thousand years. She wished she could remember the last time she'd been here. But if Greta had been right and Rose had killed these Silent ones it would explain why she didn't. How else would she defend herself against a large force? One that might even have threatened the Doctor? She'd let go of that careful control. She'd turn them to dust. Risk herself in the process but save the Doctor.

Question was how she could have accomplished this without the Doctor even noticing. The bond had been very active at that point. He would have known the instant she lost control. He would have felt it. Questions and more questions. Rose had that feeling when you knew someone else was pulling your strings. Davros had claimed to be the architect behind Bad Wolf. Manoeuvring and manipulating the Doctor into creating the thing Davros needed to destroy the universe. Which was her.

So who was pulling the strings now? Who was orchestrating these events? Or was it perhaps just fate? Toying with them? Showing them that no matter how hard they fought they could never know peace. Never know happiness without sorrow or pleasure without pain.

"I've been waiting for you."

Rose froze. It was a woman's voice. One that she sadly recognised. Rose spun and out of the shadows came Annabelle Conn. It was possible, Rose thought with disbelief. Bit how? Annabelle raised her head and Rose noticed that one of her eyes was covered with an eyepatch made of metal. Her dark hair had grown out some since the Doctor had freed her from the Shadow proclamation but she kept it shorter now then she had, combed tight to her skull.

"What are you doing here?" Rose said, unconsciously moving her hand to wrap around the bracelet Annabelle had made her. Annabelle stopped and smiled.

"Waiting for you, Agent Tyler," she said.

"Why?" Rose backed up a couple of steps. Annabelle might have helped her with the bracelet but that was in her own self interest. There was no telling what she would do now.

"She is here, as I told you she would be." Another voice rose from between the trees and another woman walked into the fading blue light. She wasn't as tall or thin as Annabelle. Her dark hair was put up and her thin lips were painted nearly black. She also had an eyepatch over one of her eyes.

"Who are you?" Rose asked.

"Who I am is of no importance, Bad Wolf," the woman said.

"That is not my name," Rose told her sharply.

"It is the one that matters at the moment," the woman said. Rose caught a movement and turned her head.

There, hidden far away among the grass and trees stood one of the Silence. The thin, dark eyed creature that looked to have been the inspiration for The Scream painting by Edvard Munch. And for all Rose knew it might have been. If they had the technology to travel in time it wasn't exactly an impossibility.

"I don't know if you know," Rose said. "But there's this thing back there." She still had the sonic in her hand. She hadn't given it back. Rose kept her eyes on the creature as she raised the sonic to her arm and burned another line into her skin, next to the other one. She stifled a cry.

The other woman glanced back over her shoulder, seeing the creature but remained utterly calm. She turned back to Rose as Rose put the screwdriver into her jacket pocket. Pain radiated up her arm. Two. Three more to go.

"They're with you," Rose realised at the woman's calm demeanour. Neither her no Annabelle Conn said anything. "So, what is it you want then?" Rose asked them.

"We want to save the universe," Annabelle said and Rose had to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"You? Save the universe? Please."

"Oh, there is a very generous bonus in there," Annabelle said with a cold smile and Rose was reminded of the madness that hid behind Annabelle's genius. A mad scramble to stay alive no matter what.

"Yeah, and what's that?" Rose asked.

"The Doctor," Annabelle said simply "I get to help bring about his rather imminent demise."

"What? How does killing the Doctor save the universe?" Rose asked in astonishment. "Are you mad?"

"Your Doctor," the other woman said, a hardness to the way she spoke. "Will bring about a big war. Big enough to destroy us all. We are here to stop him."

"By killing him?"

"It is the only way," the woman said.

"I won't let you hurt him," Rose told her. "No matter what you think he might do."

"So I understand," the woman said. "Which is why we are here."

Rose glanced from the woman to Annabelle and back.

"So you're planning on killing me first?" Rose asked.

"We are here to give you a choice," the woman said.

"What choice?"

"Help us," Annabelle said. "Help us save the universe or die here."

Rose looked to Annabelle in surprise. This didn't make any sense. Annabelle knew about the bond. Knew about Rose and the Doctor. She had used their willingness to die for each other against them, even mocked them for it. She would never bother to even suggest that Rose turn against him, even if it was to save the universe.

"You are both mad if you think I'd ever let you hurt him," Rose told them.

"Save one man or save the whole of creation," the other woman said. "Are you telling me you'd chose to save the one?"

Both women regarded Rose curiously. With Annabelle Rose had always felt like a lab rat. It was as though the woman enjoyed seeing how they reacted to certain scenarios, studying their actions and picking apart their reasonings.

"If what you say is true then there will be another way," Rose said. "There is always another way."

"Not always," Annabelle remarked, tilting her head to the side as she watched Rose. "I always knew what he would chose in the end but I was never quite sure about you."

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked.

"The Doctor," she said. "He'll always chose you, no matter the consequences. No matter who gets hurt or who dies. He's proven that enough times. But you, Agent Tyler? Would you?"

"We're done here," Rose said, turning to leave. She hated being around Annabelle Conn. Not only because the woman was a monster who deserved to spend the rest of her days in a jail cell but because you knew she was marking everything down in that head of hers. Every word, every action. It was like being under a microscope.

"Not so fast," the other woman said. Rose halted. "If you won't join us, I'm afraid we have to eliminate you from the board. There are too many variables." Rose turned back towards them.

"Just try and stop me," Rose dared. The woman smiled tightly.

"I don't try," she said. "I do."

The creature in the shadows opened a mouth Rose didn't know it had and let out a wail. It slowly, almost fluently reached out a deformed looking hand. Lightning sparked around it, singeing the trees. The light gathered in its hand and and blasted off towards Rose. She threw herself to the ground just as Annabelle Conn drew a weapon and fired. Rose stared in utter astonishment as the creature got hit square in the chest, falling and disappearing among the high grass.

"Get up!" Annabelle shouted at Rose. Rose scrambled to her feet.

Rose and Annabelle took off through the woods, shots of lightning firing off behind them, hitting trees inches away from their heads. Annabelle pointed her gun behind her, shooting without looking as they ran.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rose shouted at Annabelle just as she pushed Rose out of the way, a bolt blowing past between them. Both of them flattened themselves against a pair of tree trunks. The forest was alive with lightning and a horrible wailing as though the very woods themselves were in pain.

"What do you mean?" Annabelle asked, firing her weapon at their pursuers.

"Why are you helping me?!"

Annabelle flattened herself against the tree. "Maybe I've turned over a new leaf," she suggested.

"You're a murdering psychopath," Rose reminded her. "They don't turn over new leafs."

"I am really not quite as horrid as you think I am," Annabelle informed Rose. Even though they were in the midst of a battle there was not a single hair out of place on Annabelle's head. Her dark grey suit was without a single crease or stain. Only a deal with Lucifer himself could possibly accomplish such a thing, Rose thought.

"No, you're probably worse," Rose remarked and peaked out behind her tree.

Lightning sparked off all through the woods. The blue dwarf star was gone, not to be seen again for another two thousands years. Darkness had reclaimed the night. Rose spotted another of the Silence walking towards them, slowly through the storm of electricity.

"Annabelle!" Rose shouted. Annabelle turned and aimed her weapon. The Silence reached out it's deformed hand, wailing as lighting shot at Rose. Annabelle fired but missed.

Rose didn't hesitate. She threw herself to the next tree over just as the one she left splintered under the onslaught of lightning. Splinters of wood shot out at them as the trunk failed to remain standing. It faltered. Rose looked up at the huge tree. It reached well over five metres with a huge crown at it's top. The tree swayed, the wood squeaking.

More lightning hit the tree Rose hid behind. She ducked, covering her face as wood chips sharp as needles flew. She raised her head to see the tree falling. But it wouldn't land on her it was going to crush Annabelle. Rose cursed and left her cover.

"Annabelle! Move!" she screamed as she ran for her. But Annabelle wasn't paying attention. She was firing at the Silence still coming. And she was one crappy shot. Lightning blew past Rose as she ran. The tree was falling. Rose reached Annabelle. She grabbed her and pulled her roughly out of the way. The tree crashed down and both of them ended up on the ground, desperately trying to roll out of its path.

Leaves and smaller branches rained down around them as the sound of wood cracking and crashing filled the night.

Rose was quickly on her feet again.

"Come on," she told Annabelle who took a bit longer to regain her wits. She struggled up on her feet. The falling tree had given them a moments reprieve. But that wasn't going to last. "Let's go," Rose urged. Annabelle shook leaves out of her hair as they both hurried away. They could hear the wailing of the Silence behind them as they ran through the woods. Back to the camp with the colourful tents and once happy assembly.

Annabelle stopped as they reached the edge of the trees. Rose paused. They looked ahead. The Doctor was still by the fire. Amy was sitting down on the ground, the big gun in her lap. There was no sign of Greta or the ones who'd been with her. But a few people still lingered along the periphery of the camp. Whispering amongst themselves or casting worried glances in the Doctor's and Amy's direction.

Suddenly Rose felt at a loss as to what they were doing. Why were they running? But then she felt the pain in arm. She glanced down and she knew.

"You go on," Annabelle said, nodding towards the colour and lights ahead.

"What? What are you talking about?" Rose asked, glancing over at Annabelle.

"The Doctor won't take me," Annabelle said. "Get out of here. I'll find my own way. Don't worry."

"You saved my life, he'll take you," Rose told her.

Rose would never like Annabelle and she sure as hell would never forgive her or trust her. But without her Rose might have been dead now and she had helped in the past. Rose could stoop to giving her a lift. But Annabelle shook her head.

"I can't," she said. "Go."

Rose ground her teeth in frustration but began heading off. She stopped and turned back.

"Wait, you have to tell me what this was? Who were they? What do they want?" Rose fired off rapidly.

"They're a renegade group," Annabelle said hastily while she glanced back over her shoulder. Something was coming. Rose could feel it. "That woman was Madame Kovarian. She believes that the world will end when the question is asked."

"Question? What question?"

"I don't know, she calls it the first question. Do you know what it might be?"

Rose shook her head. "No idea."

"She's a fanatic. Madame Kovarian. She'll do anything."

"And you just up and joined them?" Rose asked. "Wait, of course you did. They're fanatics. Why wouldn't you."

"I was recruited," Annabelle said. "By Kovarian herself. She needed someone who had met you. Someone who knew your secrets. She's going to kill the Doctor. She might already have succeeded."

"What?" Rose glanced behind her. The Doctor was still there, pacing now.

"She just needs to set him on the right path and his death will be inevitable. Maybe years off yet but if she's succeeded it will come."

"No, it won't," Rose said with absolute conviction.

"You might not be able to save him from this, Agent Tyler," Annabelle said.

"I know," Rose agreed. "I can't. But someone else can." She turned to leave.

"Just remember, Agent Tyler!' Annabelle called after her. "They're coming. They're coming and you have to run." Rose glanced back at Annabelle over her shoulder. She gave her a nod and left her at the forest edge.

They were coming.

Rose hurried back into the camp. She skidded to a stop as she reached the light from the still burning fire.

"So, what's up, you two?" she asked, catching her breath. The Doctor stopped his pacing and twirled around. He stared at her. Amy straightened. "Yeah, we kinda need to go," Rose said, pointing her thumb in the general direction of the TARDIS.

"I assume you found out what you wanted," the Doctor said. Rose turned her eyes to him. He was standing very still now. Most of the time the Doctor was in motion. If he spoke he did it while gesturing, his face animated. He moved around when he talked, restless, never quite seeming to be capable of standing still. This was true for any of the regenerations she'd experienced but she had to admit that it was most noticeable with this one.

Only as he stood there watching her now there was none of that at all. He was eerily still like the calm before the storm

"We need to go," Rose said again.

"I kept them busy," he said.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Actually, he kept 'em talking for quite a while," Amy said and rose to her feet. "Then I think he got bored with it because he suddenly threatened to destroy their tiny, insignificant little planet."

"You threatened to do, what?" Rose asked him, not sure she'd heard Amy right because that was a rather aggressive thing to do. And if he was going there it was not good. It was never good.

The Doctor didn't answer only gave her a glare as a response.

"Well, we gotta go now," Rose reminded them.

"Why?" the Doctor asked.

"You know why," Rose told him.

"I know why they're afraid of you here," the Doctor said. "I learned that much while you were away, doing heaven knows what."

"Whatever it is we can...-" Rose fell silent. Behind the Doctor, right at the edge of the woods was one of them. One of the Silence. Standing there suddenly as though conjured out of thin air. Rose felt dread rush through her.

They were here.

She picked the sonic out of her pocket and put it to her arm. It stung as she marked her skin. She could feel the Doctor's eyes boring into her. He was far from happy. And she needed to get him out of there. She needed to get him out now.

"Doctor, take Amy and go. Just take her and go."

"What is going on?" Amy asked.

"It doesn't matter, just go," Rose insisted.

"You turned them to dust," the Doctor said, stalking towards her, ignoring her urgent tone. "Their gods or so the claim. Turned them all to dust. And then a woman came and told them you'd be back. And the next time you came they should bring you to her. Bring her the Bad Wolf."

"I remember none of that," Rose spat, her eyes still on the slim figure watching them. It wasn't moving yet. Perhaps it was waiting for the others.

"You probably fried your brain," the Doctor said. "As for me. Apparently these Silent ones mess with your memory. You literally forget them the minute you look away."

"Sounds like you have it all figured out," Rose said. Her hands had begun to tremble.

She wanted to turn around. It felt like they were behind her. Like they were closing in. But the minute she stopped looking at the one standing at the edge of the camp she'd forget it. She wouldn't know to look for more of them.

"I have nothing figured out!" the Doctor, barked at her. The sharp, angry sound of his voice made her jump but she kept her eyes on the monster. "You're lying to me!" he told her harshly. "You won't talk to me! You won't tell me anything! I have a mind to rip that thing off your wrist whether you want it or not just so I can know what you're hiding from me!"

"I know," Rose said, feeling his frustration. She understood it. She'd been where he was. It was a horrible feeling. Feeling as though you couldn't be trusted with the truth. It made you feel weak and powerless and angry. Most of all angry.

The Doctor came into view in front of her, almost blocking the creature that had yet to move.

"And what are you looking at?" he asked, turning. Rose clasped his arm, stopping him again.

"Doctor, I know," she said. She reluctantly turned her gaze to him. She had to if he was going to listen. And the minute she did the creature slipped from her mind as though it had never been there at all. "I get it," she told the Doctor, her mind a bit of a scramble as she searched to regain her train of thought. "You've done the same thing to me, remember?" Her grip on his sleeve tightened. "You've done it so many times..-"

"Rose," he interrupted her, his tone suggesting he was going to give her some lengthy explanation as to why he'd not told her things in the past. But Rose cut him off before he had a chance.

"But you always had a reason," she told him. "Didn't you?" His gaze dropped from her's as he shook his head. He put his hands on his hips. "Didn't you?" she asked again.

"Yes. Yes. Of course I did."

"Then can't you trust that I do to?"

He glanced up at her, a single string of hair falling into his eye.

"It's your turn to trust me," Rose said. "Trust me when I say you have to run." The Doctor shook his head again. Though Rose felt no real urgency she knew they had to go. She remembered Annabelle Conn telling her not to forget it. And the pain in her arm was a constant reminder.

"You know I'm not running anywhere without you," he said. Rose caught the Doctor's cheek, urged his face towards her.

"I'll be right behind you," she assured. "Always." He watched her for a moment longer then he turned his head and gave her palm a swift kiss before turning away.

"Alright then!" he announced. "Amelia Pond, time to go."

"Finally," Amy groaned. "The party- spirit kind of died after you threatened to destroy everything."

"You exaggerate," the Doctor told her as he moved away. The minute he did Rose felt ice rush through her veins. The creature at the edge of the camp was closer now it wasn't alone. One more had joined it. Standing silently, watching, waiting. "It was more of a suggestion..." the Doctor was telling Amy. "To be careful. You never know what could happen."

"Doctor," Amy was saying. "You may think you were being subtle but you were as subtle as a brick wall." Rose drew another line on her arm. She barely felt the pain anymore. Four lines now. It would be time soon. Her mind rebelled at the thought. It always did. They weren't meant to be apart. The bond didn't care how they felt about each other. It was biological, instinct. They shouldn't be apart.

When she'd been alone, on dark nights, too afraid to sleep she'd manage to half convince herself that he'd left her behind. That because he was different his feelings for her were as well. It had been easier to think that. Easier to think she could stay away if he no longer wanted her anyway. But of course that wasn't true.

He'd sworn all his lives to her. Vowed that the love he felt spanned time and space and the tragedy of it all was that it was true. Nothing would ever diminish it. No betrayal or lie however great. It could be tainted but never weakened. It was the kind of love that scorched your soul and ripped out your heart but at the end of the day it was worth every painful second. No matter what.

Rose kept her eyes on the two creatures as she began backing away. One of them opened it's round, hollowed mouth and a wail rose on the air as lightning flashed. Whatever stragglers had been around ran. Lightning shot towards Rose. She ducked. The lightning hit a tent behind her, setting the whole thing ablaze. She had to lead them away from Amy and the Doctor. She had to make sure they got out.

So Rose turned and ran but not towards the TARDIS. She ran away. Ran towards the darkness. Lightning shot around her, ceramic pots exploding right next to her as they got hit by the bolts.

Suddenly someone grabbed her and yanked her out of the way just as lighting shot past her. She gave a yelp of surprise and looked up. The Doctor. She tore free.

"I told you to go!" she told him angrily.

"Yes," he agreed. "And I didn't listen. Not so fun is it?" He smiled at her. A boyish, stupid and utterly charming grin. Aha, Rose thought. This was how he implied he felt when he told her to do something and she blatantly disregarded it. She guessed it was a tad annoying.

The Doctor clasped her hand. "Come on," he said and pulled her along. They ran behind the tents, scrambling for cover. Rose couldn't see any of the Silence but the lightning was tearing the camp apart. Tents were burning and people were screaming in the distance, everything was falling apart around them.

"You know I really don't understand why this keeps happening," the Doctor muttered. "I try to take you some place nice and it always ends up with us running from someone trying to kill us. Or.. or do you remember the ghosts at Christmas? And I was trying so hard to show off too." He sighed, staring wistfully ahead, suddenly untroubled by the mayhem around them. "Or the coronation? Granted that was not what I was aiming for but still could we have that? No. Electrical creature, sucking people's faces off."

"Yeah, you know, what's an evening out without a bit of mortal danger though," Rose said scanning the area around them for more of those creatures. The Doctor glanced over at her. She turned her head, looking back at him. After just a moment she smiled.

"Dull?" he suggested. Her smile widened.

"Definitely, dull," she agreed. He gave her a smile, all wild and free. She saw it then. That spark inside that made him... him. It was still there no matter how different he was on the outside or how different he sounded. He wasn't the same but he was still the Doctor.

"Off we go," he said, pulling her with him.

They ran between colourful tents and crossed under beautiful canopies as lighting flashed off around them. It moved though the camp as though it was a living thing seeking them out, setting things ablaze as it went. The Doctor's grip on Rose's hand tightened and he yanked her away as lighting flashed by her. It hit a table covered in jewellery and trinkets. The whole thing blew sky high.

"Holy crap," Rose said, staring at it.

"My sentiments exactly," the Doctor agreed as they took off again.

The Doctor and Rose ran with their hands clasped tightly together. And it felt just as it had long ago. When it had just been the two of them, flying across the stars. No bond, no prophesies. It was an incredible feeling. Running with the Doctor. Like being weightless, rushing through the air, barely touching ground.

The TARDIS came into view ahead of them.

"I assume you left Amy in there," Rose called to him.

"Of course I did," he assured. "She's... minding things." They stumbled to a halt as the Doctor pulled the key out of his pocket. He unlocked the door and practically flew inside, pulling Rose with him. Rose glanced back over her shoulder before the doors shut.

It was like everything outside had suddenly stopped. What had moments ago been a battlefield was now as silent as a tomb. No lightning. No screams. No fire. There were blackened heaps from tents that had burned and all manner of broken things littered the ground. But nothing moved. Nothing made a sound. It was standing so still that Rose didn't even see it at first. It wasn't until it raised its deformed hand towards her that she spotted it. Tall and slim. And those dark, alien eyes. The kind of darkness that could swallow you whole.

Rose didn't notice as her hand slipped out of the Doctor's and she retrieved his screwdriver out of her pocket. Didn't notice as she put it to her skin and drew a black line diagonally across the ones already on her arm. The final toll.

Suddenly the doors were slammed shut in front of her and the Doctor snatched the sonic out of her limp fingers.

"I am not letting you borrow this again," he said, waving the screwdriver in front of her face. He walked past her and hurried up the steps to the console. Rose could distantly hear the ship humming to life. Feel as it hurled into the vortex.

Rose heard the Doctor and Amy talking. Amy seemed to be cross with him. Rose turned to see the Doctor unlocking handcuffs as he'd apparently cuffed Amy to the railing. She snatched her handcuffs back. Rose looked up at the Doctor where he stood. Dark hair, still a little dusted with that glowing pollen, a very decisive chin, hands on hips, tweed jacket and the bowtie that made her smile. His pants were a tad too short just brushing the edge of his black boots. Still a bit of punk in him then, Rose thought fondly. He still looked incredible. She imagined that he always would to her.

She walked as though in a dream, making her way up the stairs, watching him and trying to commit every single detail to memory. He shifted a little and she noticed for the first time that he was wearing suspenders. A light laughter fell of her lips and the Doctor immediately turned his eyes on her.

"What?" he asked. "I had everything well in hand," he insisted, Rose not being quite sure what he meant since she hadn't followed their conversation.

So she said nothing only watched him, seeing his eyes alight. Happy. He was trusting her. And the last thing she wanted was to break that trust. Yet how could she leave him and keep it intact? The answer was she couldn't. He had to believe she wouldn't come back because he needed to move on from her. Rose couldn't save him from what was to come but there was someone else that could. River. And he was going to have to fall in love with her, somehow. He was going to have to marry her.

Rose felt pain, sharp and brutal twist inside her chest. Oh, this was going to be bad, she thought. This was going to break her. She looked up at the Doctor. At that happy face that she would have loved to get to know. To learn every angle and every shape as she had once before. But there was no more time.

No more time.

For a moment she struggled for breath. Struggled to not let the world around her spin out of control and take her with it. She had to go. She raised her gaze and the Doctor's eyes met hers. He must have seen her fear for he was by her side in a second.

"Rose?" He brushed her hair out of her face. "Rose, what's wrong?" She clutched his sleeve, a desperate attempt to stay on her feet. She was going to loose him all over again and she'd only just got him back. "Rose, talk to me," he insisted, his voice had gotten more persistent. "Rose!"

Rose shook her head, swallowing hard. Somehow she managed to twist her lips into a smile.

"It's fine," she said. He didn't look convinced. Rose reached up her hand and caught a single string of hair, brushing it lightly off his forehead. She ran her fingers down the side of his face, feeling the slightly different texture of his skin, though not all that different. She smiled at him though she feared the sorrow in her heart showed all to clearly in her eyes.

"Rose, you're scaring me," he said so quietly that for a second she thought it might have just been inside her head. But the bracelet around her wrist prevented that. Rose drew in a hasty breath.

"What was that planet where the dogs had no noses?" she asked him, forcing her voice to be steady. He looked stumped for a moment. Then a careful smile spread on his lips

"Barcelona," he said. Rose nodded, smiling back at him. One more moment, she thought. One scrap of time. One more memory to keep with her. She'd steal it. A thief in the night. And he was going to hate her for it."What about it?" he asked .

"Well, we never went," Rose said. Her hand dropped from his face and she let go of his sleeve. "You promised me noseless dogs but never delivered."

"You want noseless dogs, Rose Tyler?" His tone was getting lighter and less worry creased his forehead. "Well, then you shall have them!"

The Doctor disappeared around the console in a flurry of tweed. Rose clutched the railing. She could feel Amy's eyes boring into her head. Rose glanced at the other girl. She had expected to maybe, see worry on her face. Or concern, or even curiosity. But Amy looked angry. In fact she looked a little like a lioness with her shiny red hair, ready to strike. A lioness protecting the pride. Or it's young. She had the 'don't you dare' - look.

"Barcelona!" the Doctor announced from behind the time rotor, breaking the tension between Rose and Amy."Six pm, Tuesday!" He came scurrying around the other side. He stopped. "Or..." he said, turning to Rose. "Remember that one with the big stingrays?" he asked. "Flying? Flying stingrays?"

"And the mountains, yes." Rose nodded. They'd been there at sunset. It had been breathtakingly beautiful.

"Built a restaurant there now," the Doctor said with a grin. "Or... oh, there are these caves where the trees grow upside down! And the water... you see the water gathers at the tips of the branches where it crystallises..." Rose smiled back at him. He as giddy as a schoolboy, filled with new life and exuberance. Like his old burdens might not weigh as heavily upon him, at least for the moment. She wouldn't take that away from him anymore she could loose it herself. Just some few more moments, she thought again. Just a few more.

Rose made her way over and nudged him with her shoulder.

"Sounds like fun," she said, pushing any guilt she felt so deep down she hoped she wouldn't feel it for a long time. She smiled, her tongue peeking out playfully between her teeth. Amy was watching them wearily.

"What do you say, Amelia Pond?" the Doctor asked.

"Sounds great," she said carefully.

"Come on, Amy!" Rose danced over to the other girl, clasping her hands and spinning them both around. "Dogs with no noses, trees that grow upside down and huge stingrays that fly!" Amy fought but failed not to smile back at Rose as they danced around.

"I like your thinking," the Doctor said. "All three. We should do all three. I mean of course we should do all three." He pressed a few buttons on the console.

"Wait!' Amy called, she and Rose stopping. "Can we go somewhere else first?" The Doctor stopped and looked up.

"We can go anywhere," he said, clapping his hands together and grinning.

"Home," Amy said.

"Home?" The Doctor's face twisted with incomprehension. "I suppose..," he said, scratching his head. "Not overly exiting perhaps but..."

"Doctor," Amy interrupted him and pointed at herself.

"What?" he asked, oblivious. Rose snickered.

"Clothes!" Amy spelled out for him. "I'd like to change my clothes."

"I have a wardrobe the size of a small planet," the Doctor told her. "Even with your..." He waved his arm in her direction. "... interesting fashion choices I promise you'll be able to find something. "

"Look who's talking, Mr. 'Bowties are cool'," Amy pointed out. The Doctor immediately reached up and straightened it.

"Bowties are cool," he muttered defensively. He turned to Rose.

"Hey, I like it," Rose said.

Rose took off around the console, skipping and running her hand over it as she went. She came up behind the Doctor, putting her hands on his shoulder and leaning against him.

"Let her go home and change, Doctor," she said. "She's off duty now. I'm sure she wants her own off duty clothes." Amy gave them both a hands- on- hips look and the Doctor conceded.

"Oh, alright," he said. Rose let go off him, clapping her hands.

"But just a quick stop," he told Amy. "Got things to do."

"Got some showing off to do, you mean," Amy said under her breath. He looked over at her but Amy just smiled.

The Doctor hurried and cancelled Barcelona for now, sending them hurtling through the vortex towards Earth. He landed, doing a marginally better job than last time with Rose's helping him.

"There," he said. "Earth. Same day as we left." He turned to Amy. "Off you go then," he told her. Amy hurried down the stairs and rushed out the doors. But before she'd been gone even a second her head peeked back inside.

"You're not leaving without me now are you?" she asked, regarding them closely.

"Just hurry up, Pond!" the Doctor told her. "Oh, we might do a little skip," he called after her as she turned to leave. "But we'll be back in a minute."

"I've heard that before," they heard Amy groan as the door swung shut behind her.

"Skip?" Rose asked.

"Don't you wanna see what this baby can do?" the Doctor asked, smiling at Rose. She smiled back.

"Show me what you got, " she said, giving him a wink.


	53. Chapter 53 - What we bleed and die for

Chapter 53 - What we bleed and die for

The Doctor pulled a lever and they soared off into the air. Rose grabbed the edge of the console to prevent being tossed to the floor. The ship was starting to shake rather violently. Rose scrambled over and pulled the velocity stabilisers, which were two levers that for some reason, were still completely out of the Doctor's reach. The shaking got under control as they rushed through the air. The Doctor ran past her, practically trowing himself at a button.

"Air compression!" he shouted. Rose scrambled, where the hell was that? "Pointing!" the Doctor called, Rose twirled around and rushed for the section he indicated. "Push the three square ones at the end," he told her. Rose did as he asked. He laughed and took off again. His mood was infectious.

Both of them scrambled around the console in a brilliant and mad dash to fly the ship, laughing like a couple of idiots as they did. Suddenly there was a loud noise, like a crack. Rose reflexively looked up.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Uh..." The Doctor hurried over to the monitor. "Ops," he said.

"Ops?"

"Seems we may have flown into a bit of a storm," he said.

"Doesn't sound too bad," Rose remarked just as another crack, enough to rattle their eardrums echoed through the walls of the TARDIS. "Ok, how much of a bit?" Rose asked.

"Quite a bit," the Doctor allowed as he looked at the monitor. "Like half the pie." The Doctor hurried around the console as Rose scrambled after him.

"Half the pie..." The ship rattled as it felt as thought they actually got hit by something.

"Yeah, or the whole thing. Maybe the whole thing. The whole bit," he admitted.

"The whole bit of pie?"

"Possibly."

Rose stopped trailing after him for a second then she turned and rushed down the stairs, going for the doors.

"Rose!" the Doctor shouted after her as Rose tore opened both the doors.

She was met by a sky of gunmetal grey clouds, as big as you could imagine. All around light flashed inside them and noise rumbled like cannons going off. The heavens were at war. Like an armada at sea, an endless string of cannon fire and exploding gunpowder lighting up the dark clouds. Rain whipped against Rose's face, soaking her hair. She laughed into the storm, fuelled by its wild ferocity.

"That is one hell of a storm," she said and hurried back to his side. The Doctor smiled at her.

"Let's go," he said and the Doctor and Rose rushed around the console as they flew out of the storm.

They left the doors opened, seeing as the clouds slowly changed colour. The sky was turning from thunderous wild grey to a more calm cerise and coral. The sun was descending slowly through low hanging clouds towards the edge of the sea below. The Doctor lowered their altitude until they flew across the water, the light of the sun sparkling of the waves beneath them. Rose walked back towards the doors, the Doctor behind her. She smiled as she lay down on the floor, her upper body practically outside the ship. The Doctor watched her a little wearily as she reached out her hand and let it trail in the water. When he saw that she wouldn't be tumbling out he lay down next to her, letting his own fingers brush the salty sea.

The TARDIS wasn't quite touching the water but they still left a trail of small waves in their wake.

"She can take you to so many fantastical places," Rose said dreamily as she gazed at the sparkling waves. "To the furthest reaches of space, to times gone by and ones yet to come, intergalactic battles and alien cities. You forget that she's also just a ship. That she can just... " Rose raised her gaze to the pink and topaz sky. "...fly," she said.

"Granted just 'flying' isn't always her strong suit," the Doctor allowed. Rose turned her head to the side and laid her cheek against her elbow, looking at him. A wisp of hair had fallen onto his forehead again. It was strange. Before she'd often reached her fingers into his hair in order to mess it up further, liking the disordered mass of chestnut brown strands. But now she found herself wanting to comb in straight, to brush the curl of his forehead and back where it belonged.

"Doctor...?" Rose asked softly. He turned his head to her.

"What?' he asked.

"If you had to pick one lifetime for one reason. One that didn't include me that is. Which one would you chose?" He looked stumped at the question.

"Not one with you?" he asked. She shook her head. "But I like my life best when you're in it," he said.

"Not with me," Rose insisted. She was curious to know how he would be without her. What he'd value. What he'd fight for. What he'd live for. He thought about it for a while, giving weight to her question.

"I don't think I can choose," he finally said. "I know which one I wouldn't, but not which one I would. They were all brilliant in one way or another."

"Which one wouldn't you?" Rose asked. His gaze fell from hers. She could see his reluctance in telling her and she imagined she might know a little about why.

"There was one time," he finally said. "One life where..." he trailed off. "I don't speak of it."

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't the Doctor then," he said, rubbing his forehead.

"The war?" Rose asked and he nodded. "But you're the Doctor now," Rose told him. "Even if you lost it once you got it back." He looked over at her.

"All thanks to you," he said. "If I hadn't met you... I don't know what I'd be."

"You'd still be the, Doctor," Rose said with certainty. "You'd find your own way. I know you would."

He reached over and curled a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"You have a lot of faith in me, Rose Tyler," he murmured.

"Always," she said with a soft smile.

"By the way..." He pulled his hand back and cleared his throat. "Sorry about... you know... before."

"Sorry about what?"

"When I was... not of my right mind," the Doctor clarified reluctantly. Rose's gaze fell from his and she shook her head.

"It's me who should say sorry," she said. "I handled it all badly." The Doctor took her arm and turned it over, showing the marks she'd put there. The black like soot left from the sonic was gone, they were simply angry red welts now. At the sight of them Rose was painfully reminded of what she still had to do.

"It's gonna scar," the Doctor said, his voice a touch sad.

"I know." Rose pulled her arm out of his hold. They hurt but with everything else looming over her she had barely registered it.

"Ever planning on telling me why you did that?" he asked.

Rose sighed and gazed out over the water. The sun was just touching the edge of the horizon. If she looked up she could see the first stars wink to life high above them. The day was ending. Their time was ending. Rose pushed herself up.

"We should go back and get Amy."

The Doctor sat up next to her. "You're right," he said after a while and gave her a smile. Again he didn't press and again she was grateful. He got up and held out his hands for her "Come on," he said. Rose took his hands and he pulled her up. They both glanced back, watching as the sun set in the sea. The Doctor snapped his fingers and the doors closed

Rose started. "You can do that?" she asked in surprise. "I didn't know you could do that." He leaned down close to her.

"There are some things you don't know yet, Rose," he said, before he headed back across the floor and up the stairs to the console. She hurried to join him, thinking there were perhaps sadly a lot of things she would never know about him now.

"Anything in particular?" Rose asked. He looked up.

"I hate pears," he said. "At least I think I still do, not sure now come to think of it." Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"Like I've failed to notice that," she said. "Anyway, you should try one," she said innocently. "You may like them now." The Doctor thought about this prospect for a moment but then quickly shook his head.

"Not worth the risk," he said.

"What was it you called me again?" she asked with a thoughtful expression. "Coward? Was it?"

"That..!" He pointed a finger at her. "...is not the same. Pears are like fruits that try to be apples. Apples are rubbish too by the way," he added.

"Only fish fingers and custard for you then." Rose smiled.

"Mmm, fish fingers." The Doctor got a dreamy expression on his face as he licked his lips.

Rose walked over to him, nudging him out of the way with her hip.

"Never would have thought of that one myself," Rose said, taking over the controls.

"Oh, you're flying now?"

"You weren't paying attention to what you were doing," Rose told him.

"I don't need to," he said. "I can fly this beauty blindfolded." Rose laughed.

"Perhaps if you'd ever bothered to read the manual."

"It's not so much about the proper technique as feeling," the Doctor said, trying to illustrate this with his hands. Rose glanced over at him.

"Five quid says you're off by at least a week."

"Make it ten and you have a deal."

"Done."

Rose stepped back from the controls and handed them solely over to the Doctor. She sat down on the jump seat and enjoyed watching him run around the console, constantly assuring her he had everything well in hand. Rose giggled as he practically lay over the console to press a button out of his reach.

"You won't be laughing so hard when I collect my winnings, Rose Tyler," he told her, stumbling back down to the floor.

"Cocky, Doctor," she grinned. He ran past her, grabbing a lever and pulling it down hard. The ship shook as it landed, the wonderful whining sound filling the room.

"Ha!" he exclaimed with triumph. Rose glanced down at her wrist.

"Oh, we're here are we?" she asked. "I swear I was about to fall asleep." He came over to her, took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Enough, sass," he said. "Out you go and cry tears of defeat."

Rose giggled as they made their way down the stairs and over to the doors. The Doctor stood back as Rose opened it and peaked out. She pulled her head back inside.

"Uhu, what did I say?" The Doctor grinned.

"Well, you're off by at least a few hours because it's nighttime and you said one minute."

"Nighttime? It's not nighttime." The Doctor walked past her and stepped outside. Rose joined him. The stars glowed overhead and the moon was almost full.

"No, I was obviously mistaken," Rose said. "That's clearly the sun." They both looked up at the moon.

"That could be the sun," he said.

"Yeah, just like London could be New York," Rose said, stifling a laugh and earning a glare from the Doctor.

"And what kind of time do you call this?"

Both the Doctor and Rose spun to find Amy striding towards them. She was in her nighty, her red hair unbound and falling over her shoulders.

"I don't know," the Doctor said, his eyes running over Amy suspiciously, clearly trying to discern how much time had passed by her appearance alone. "What kind of time would you call it?" Amy stopped and folded her arms across her chest.

"Two years!" she told them. The Doctor groaned and Rose laughed.

"Yes," she said, hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

"I'm missing the joke," Amy ground out between her teeth. Rose immediately stopped laughing and the Doctor sobered up.

"Sorry, Amy," Rose said. "Really."

"Haven't quite got the hang of it yet," the Doctor said, indicating the TARDIS behind him.

"Understatement of the decade," Rose agreed.

"So..." Amy didn't seem to be overly upset at their tardiness. She might even have expected it after all. "Where have you been?"

"Nowhere yet," the Doctor said. "Just took in the view." He pointed up towards the sky. "Might have slipped back in time a little."

"So, are you coming?" Rose asked Amy. She managed to make her voice sound light but there was more fear in her heart than she would ever show. She needed Amy to come. She needed Amy to be there after. The Doctor was going to need her to be there.

Amy glanced back at the house behind her before turning to them with a grin.

"Of course I'm coming!" she said.

/

Rose was lying on the floor, rolling around and overcome with uncontrollable giggles. The Doctor was leaning his back against the console, clutching his stomach as he laughed. Amy was in the jump seat doubled over

"Now that, Doctor is how you fly," Rose said, struggling to stop laughing long enough to speak.

"That's how you get arrested," Amy pointed out between bursts of giggles.

"In this ship? Not likely," the Doctor professed and Rose thought she heard a hum of pride from the TARDIS. Wasn't as easy to tell when Rose was cut off like she was. "And you need more lessons," the Doctor said to Rose.

"Ha!" Rose laughed. "From who? You?"

"Of course, me."

"Doctor," Rose said, trying to be at least a little serious. "What do those blue buttons do?" she asked pointing at a couple of blue ones on the console. The Doctor cranked his neck to see.

"Nothing," he said. "They're just blue. I like them. They're... blue."

"So you are telling me, that your great and mighty race that was the Time Lords designed a ship that travels through time and space and at the end of the day they all stood there and thought, hang on chaps, something's missing. Blue buttons! Blue buttons that do nothing but are just blue! Yes! That's what every spaceship needs. Let's install some shiny blue buttons. Preferably a pair. "

The Doctor nudged Rose with his foot.

"Go easy on the sarcasm, you minx," he told her and she grinned at him. Amy looked up at the pair of them.

"So are we going to try this again or are we finding somewhere else?" she asked.

They had tried to land on a planet that had huge glass cities that were really quite beautiful. There were towers reaching high up into the clouds. You could ride to the top and sit out on the deck, seeing for miles and miles. It also happened to be the home of the best slush puppie ever created.

They'd been to Barcelona the planet, seen the amazing caves with trees that grew upside down and stopped at the restaurant and watched huge stingrays sail in the sky as they ate. Now was the time for dessert and then it was time. Just time.

However their slush puppie quest had barely started as the local police had apparently a rather good memory and had not forgotten the mysterious blue box from the last time the Doctor and Rose had been there. When of course they'd gotten into trouble.

The Doctor glanced over at Rose with a questionable look.

"I want my slush puppie," she said. He looked over at Amy.

"I would really like to see how you're gonna manage this," she said.

"Alright." The Doctor scrambled to his feet. Rose struggled back up as well. "Watch this."

They tore off. The minute they landed the Doctor rushed out of the doors before Rose or Amy had time to really react and he was back before they had a chance to follow, holding three large cups filled to the brink with frozen slushy sweetness. He hastily handed them over to Rose and Amy just as someone pounded on the TARDIS door.

"Ok, gotta go," the Doctor said. The sound of the TARDIS filled the room as the Doctor scrambled around the console and they were off again.

The Doctor set them down almost immediately. Rose and Amy looked at him questionably.

"One hundred and fifty years into the future," he explained. "They ought to have forgotten us by now." He made his way down the stairs.

"What exactly did you do?" Amy asked Rose as the Doctor confidently walked out the door.

"It was just a misunderstanding," Rose said. "They thought we...-" Rose fell silent as the Doctor came storming back inside. He slammed the door shut behind him. Rose and Amy looked up at him in surprise.

"Not forgotten?" Rose asked him. There was a heavy pound on the door and the Doctor smiled apologetically.

"Eh, no," he admitted. "Not quite." He left the doors and hurried back up the stairs, past the girls. "But not to worry!"

He put the TARDIS quickly back into flight. Amy and Rose looked at each other, silently agreeing and each took a sip out of their cup. Rose sighed with absolute pleasure. It tasted like summer. Like everything you could imagine summer would taste like. At first it was all tropical. Pineapple and coconuts and you could practically smell the sea, only to flow softly into tastes of cream and strawberries. And even though it was cold it brought to mind warm summer days lying in a hammock as the sunshine filtered through the leaves overhead.

"That is amazing," Amy moaned. "That is properly amazing."

Rose tore her focus away from the cold drink in her hand.

"Doctor!" she called. His head popped up behind the console. "You do realise we have the drinks," she said. He looked down at the drinks in their hands. "We can drink them wherever we want."

"That is true," he admitted.

"Plus, they are going to melt by the time you find a time period where they've forgotten you broke their peace monument." The Doctor considered this. "Not to mention letting loose those Gnarl creatures during the mayors dinner."

"Yeah, s'pose you're right," the Doctor conceded. "They're never going to forget that."

"You did what?" Amy asked.

"It's really not as bad as it sounds," Rose assured her as the Doctor changed their direction. "There were these robots and the Doctor used this big spire in the middle of a square that apparently was a rather important monument, but we didn't know. Anyway, he used it to amplify a signal to knock them out, right? The robots. Which he did so they really should be grateful."

"And the mayor's dinner?"

"The mayor was a robot," Rose said, taking another sip of her drink. "The Gnarls were a diversion."

"Naturally," Amy agreed with a shrug.

The Doctor slid up to them, holding out his arms to the sides and grinning.

"We're here," he said.

"Another surprise?" Rose asked.

"Better then the last one, promise," the Doctor assured. "I'm still fussy on the details but it was disastrous, right?"

"You threatened to blow the whole planet into tiny particles," Amy informed him. The Doctor cringed.

"I usually never do that," he said. Rose walked over to him.

"You were mashed." She gave him a pad on the shoulder and walked down the stairs towards the doors. Amy followed and after a moment the Doctor trailed behind muttering about him not having been all that drunk. Which she supposed he hadn't been but it was endlessly amusing to tease him about it.

Rose held on to the drinks as she pushed opened the doors and stepped out. She stood in sand. Black, volcanic sand. Palm trees crowded around the TARDIS, swaying in a light breeze. Rose walked out onto the beach. Soft waves were rolling in across the black sand. Waves that glowed. A deck was built, reaching far out into the sea. The night sky was strewn with stars. Amy stopped next to Rose.

"That is beautiful," she said, staring at the glowing ocean.

"Bioluminescent phytoplankton," the Doctor said as he came up at Rose's other side. "Millions of them."

The three of them walked across the black sand to the deck, walking out unto it. "Wait until you see the best part," the Doctor said, urging the girls with him. Eventually they reached the edge of the deck. Along with the glowing plankton it looked like deep, deep down in the sea was something huge and on fire. But how could something be on fire underwater?

"It's a volcano." The Doctor sounded practically giddy. Rose mutely handed his drink over as she stared into the sea. "In constant eruption."

"What would happen if we fell in?" Amy asked, leaning over the edge to see.

"Why would you want to fall in?" the Doctor asked her. "Don't fall in," he told her and Amy drew back a little.

"Really cool," Rose said, taking another sip of her amazing slush puppie without taking her eyes of the sea. It looked like a fire, alive and burning under the water. Gian bubbles of magma burst forth out of the sea floor exploding as it came in contact with the cold water. While the bioluminescent plankton simmered among the waves like the stars themselves had fallen out of the sky.

It was amazing, Rose thought as she glanced over at the Doctor. His eyes were on the ocean. Again she was overcome with the desperate feeling that she needed to commit everything to memory. She couldn't forget a single thing. It was important.

After having watched the spectacle for a a while the three of them went back to the beach, sitting down in the sand and silently finishing their drinks. The sand was pleasantly warm. Rose kicked off her shoes and dug her feet into it. It got warmer the deeper she went. She leaned her head against the Doctor's shoulder and felt him tense a little in surprise. But he soon relaxed. She sighed contentedly as they watched the bioluminescent waves rolling in over the black sand.

"What are those things on your arm?" Amy asked, breaking the pleasant silence. She nodded towards Rose as she gnawed on her straw. The ice in her cup was long gone. Rose glanced down at her arm and the four short lines there, crossed over by a fifth. Burns that would leave scars since she'd refused to tend them. Rose drew down her sleeve to cover them up.

"Nothing," she said.

Rose might never have told a simpler or bigger lie. They were not nothing. They were a countdown. A countdown to how long she had left with the Doctor. How much time until she had to ruin everything. And five lines meant her time was up. She couldn't push it off any longer without risking more then the universe could afford to loose.

It was time for Rose to leave and she was going to have to not only make sure the Doctor let her but that he ended up hating her enough to fall in love with someone else.

Rose had told River in that dream that she wouldn't do it. That she would never hurt him like that. But she would. To save his life of course she would. Even if it meant he'd never forgive her.

She'd thought that maybe she'd have enough time to figure it out. She'd spent the past five months trying to learn who or what was after the Doctor. There had been vague references to a religious order called the Silence and that was all she'd had to go on. But now she knew more about them. Thanks in part to Annabelle Conn of all people. These creatures that you forgot the minute you stopped looking. Even now Rose could not remember what they actually looked like. But she remembered Madam Kovarian and the question. This first question that would somehow bring about the end should it ever be answered. She needed to find out what that question was and how it pertained to the Doctor. River might be the one destined to save him but that would not stop Rose from trying even if she couldn't do it by his side.

The Doctor had risen from where they sat and walked over to the edge of the water. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, the wind ruffling his hair as he stared out over the sea. Rose got up and walked over to him. Her shoulder brushed against his but he didn't acknowledge her at first. Rose touched the bracelet at her wrist. Despite it she thought she could still feel the energy stir inside her when she was close to him. Like it knew he was there and yearned to reach out but couldn't.

The bracelet wasn't infallible. Shoving her into a room like the one on the Dalek Crucible had probably been more efficient. The bracelet mostly numbed her. She still needed to maintain a certain level of control. Lian and Red had discussed at length what might happen should Rose really loose it. Would she implode instead of explode? Collapse in and in on herself like a black hole or would the bracelet not be strong enough to hold her and she'd erupt in a supernova?

The Doctor reached down between them, taking her hand in his.

"Even though you are right here," he said. "I can't help but feel as though you're still slipping away between my fingers." His hand tightened around hers, searching for reassurance. A reassurance she couldn't give. It had been cruel of her, pretending as she had these last few days. Pretending she'd stay when all the while she was preparing to leave. She'd just wanted to know him a little better. This new him. But most of all she'd wanted a couple more memories to carry with her. To comfort her on sleepless nights. She knew she'd been selfish but now she was going to pay for it. "Rose?" His fingers clasped hers tightly as he stared out at the sea.

"I'm sorry." Her words were faint, so faint the wind seemed to catch them and carry them away.

"Don't do this," he said. Some part of him probably knew what was to come, even understood the inevitability of it.

Rose covered his hand with her own, slowly unwinding his fingers as they clutched her. She held his hand between both of hers.

"I wish there was another way," Rose said, meaning it far more than she could ever tell him. The Doctor took a shuddering breath.

"If you'd only talk to me maybe we could find one," he suggested. "We could fight whatever it is. Together. We could..-" Rose sighed and gave him the same answer she had before.

"I can't," she said, letting his hand slip out of her hold.

The Doctor bit his lip as Rose turned away. Maybe if she just left that would be enough, she thought desperately. Maybe she didn't have to break both their hearts. But the Doctor's hand shot out, stopping her.

"Rose," he said, his voice tight. "If you wan't me to beg I will. I'll get down on my knees right here, I'll bow at your feet..."

Rose turned back towards him unable to fight that horrible pleading in his voice. She hated to hear that. Nothing should force him to beg.

"No," she said. "I don't want that. Not ever."

"Then what?" he asked. "What do you want of me? Ask and I'll give it to you. Anything."

"For once, Doctor you can't give me what I want," Rose said sadly. The Doctor released her.

"Because I'm not him," he said. "Right?"

"Doctor..." Rose began.

"I'm going back to the TARDIS you two," Amy interrupted them. They both turned to look back at her. She stood with all three cups in her hands, her red hair blowing about her face. "And Rose..." Rose looked up at Amy. "Go easy on him, please." Rose's gaze fell guiltily from Amy's. Even she seemed to know what was going to happen.

"Amy," the Doctor warned.

"She didn't see you when she was gone," Amy said to the Doctor, an actual hint of anger in her voice. "I did."

"That's enough," the Doctor told her sharply. Amy turned to Rose who was looking at her hands.

"I didn't even know him then and I could still see how much it hurt," Amy said. "So if you are leaving now just make sure you stay gone." The Doctor took a step towards Amy.

"I said, that's enough!"

Amy fell silent at the Doctor's harsh tone. She glared at him but didn't say anything else. Rose had noticed that Amy had swiftly become quite protective of the Doctor and if there was anything Rose could relate to it was that. Amy turned on her heal and stalked off. She would keep him safe, Rose thought. Amy would keep the Doctor safe.

"How is that you always know?" Rose asked.

"What?"

"Who to take? How do you know?"

"I don't always know," he said. "I've made mistakes. Believed in people who've let me down." Even thought the words might not have been about her Rose still felt them pierce through her chest, cutting her with the knowledge of her own failings. She'd had over five months to figure this out. To come up with a better solution. But the truth of the matter was that this moment, right here on this beach was now as fixed as the moment the Doctor created the bond. It was an inevitable outcome of that choice. This was one heartache from which there was no escape. "But generally..." he said. "I don't know when or how just the who. Or at least I always think I do. Just like I did with you."

Rose turned towards him but kept her eyes on the black sand around her bare feet, not sure she could do this while looking him in the eye.

"I have to go," she said, nearly choking on the words.

"I figured as much," the Doctor said, whipping a strand of hair out of his eyes. "When will you be back?" Rose took a shuddering breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I'm not coming back."

It was like the air suddenly stopped moving. Like the night itself held its breath.

It took a moment for the Doctor to reply. "What do you mean, you're not coming back?" he asked, sounding as though he couldn't quite understand. "You always come back. No matter what we always find our way back to each other."

"Not this time," Rose said, still unable to raise her eyes and look at him. "Amy was right, I should stay gone."

"What? No!" The Doctor reached for her but she instinctively pulled back, like there was anyway she could do this and keep the distance between them. "Rose, listen to me..." The Doctor swallowed hard, scrambling to form coherent words out of the desperation that Rose could hear creeping into his voice. It made her want to put her arms around him. Assure him that of course they'd always be together. That nothing could ever keep them apart. But she couldn't do that because it wasn't true. After tonight there was no more the Doctor and Rose. It would be over. Finished. Either that or she'd stay with him and lead him by the hand to his own death.

"I don't care if you can't..." The Doctor stumbled over the words and Rose thought her heart might break then and there. "If we can't... be what we were... I can bear that, I can," he assured. "What I can't bear is not having you in my life at all. Do you hear me?" He tried to catch her eye but she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I'd rather take any small part you can give me than nothing at all." Rose took a step back, his fear filled words tugging at her. How was she going to do this? How was she ever going to keep herself from breaking before the deed was done? "I won't ask for more," he assured fervently, catching her hand in his. "I swear it Rose. Not once."

Rose finally made herself look up at him but immediately regretted it. His eyes seemed to mirror all the sorrow inside her that she couldn't show him. That she couldn't let him see.

It was time to go. She could feel the strings of time and events pulling at her. This was it. This was the moment. She knew it. This is what she'd seen on the Emperica. The moment River had told her would come. This was it. Naively she'd thought she could fight it. That she could choose to stay. But there was no choice when his life hung in the balance. And for the first time Rose understood. Truly understood why he'd done what he'd done when she'd been dying. Because if her life hung in the balance there was no choice.

She watched him for a moment, his face that was more square in shape, his bones not as delicate as before and his eyes that were lighter now. But despite it all it still felt much the same, standing next to him or holding his hand. The fierce determination in his eyes were still there. And he loved her. He'd fight for her. As long as there were so much as a glimmer of hope, he'd fight. So that was exactly what she had to destroy. She couldn't let there be any hope.

He must have seen some shift in her expression for his hold suddenly tightened as though he feared she'd vanish right then and there. Something darkened his eyes.

"You said, you'd let me go," Rose reminded him. "If I asked you to."

"Are you?" he wanted to know, his grip turning slowly painful as the bracelet dug into her skin.

It took a while for her to answer. To gather the strength to ask this of him.

"Yes," she finally said, unable to keep her voice from trembling. "Yes, I'm asking you." She forced herself to keep her eyes on his. Forcing hers to be hard, to not show the pain that threatened to tear her opened.

"Why?" he asked.

"Doctor..." she began.

"Why?!" He raised his voice but not in anger. He wasn't angry. Not yet. He was scared. He might even be more scared than she'd ever seen him.

"I don't..." Oh, dear heavens, she couldn't say it. That was one lie she could never force passed her lips. She couldn't tell him she didn't love him. She couldn't be that cruel. She couldn't betray her heart. Not like that. "It's different now," she managed to say.

The Doctor held up her hand in front of his face, inspecting the bracelet around her wrist.

"Because of this," he said.

"No," Rose was hasty to say. His eyes shifted to hers.

"Take it off," he said. Rose drew back.

"I can't do that," she said. "You know I can't."

"Take it off," he growled. "Or I swear by all the fates I'll do it myself." His eyes were hard like ice over a frozen lake. His fingers around her wrist though no longer tight were still tense, the strength contained within them surely enough to snap her bones should he wish it.

"If I take it off I won't be able to leave," Rose told him, fear and confusion beginning to rush along her nerves. He couldn't demand this of her. He couldn't. He pulled on her hand, making her stumble a step closer to him.

"Sure you will, if that's what you want," he said. "Nothing can stop you from doing something you've set your mind to. Not even the bond. Trust me."

"Trust you? You are trying to trick me!"

"Trick you?!" he spat, suddenly angry. "I just want to make sure you're doing this of your own free will! That someone else isn't forcing you! That you're not in trouble!"

"What?"

The Doctor sighed and let go of her. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"You won't tell me what's going on," he pointed out, not for the first time. "And now you are saying you're leaving me. For good. Why? Give me a reason, Rose. I'd say you owe me that much at least."

"I thought you trusted me," Rose said.

"You I trust, the rest of the universe is a different matter." He watched her, trying to see what she couldn't allow him to see. "It's tried to take you away from me before."

Rose hesitated. Could she actually do this? Could she lie to him even in her heart? Could she take the bracelet off long enough to convince him? He was never going to believe her words alone. She could see it in his eyes. He'd be more likely to lock her up in the TARDIS before he let her go without knowing why. Without knowing if she was in some kind of trouble. She'd had five months to practice putting up mental walls and keeping control of the errant energy inside her that had been even more unpredictable when she hadn't had him or the TARDIS to help keep her levelled. And she'd gotten better at it. But had she gotten good enough?

The Doctor took a step closer to her. "Are you going to do it or shall I?" he asked darkly.

"No one's forcing me," Rose tried to tell him. "I'm not in trouble. I just don't..." She had to struggle to get the words out, fight to give truth to the lies. "...don't want to be with you," she managed to get out and saw him flinch. For a moment she thought he might give in but then he clenched his teeth and fixed her with an uncompromising stare.

"Fine, so prove it," he said.

Rose stepped back. She felt her heart beginning to race, her breathing shallow. She had to do it. She could do it. She could fool him. She could. She was strong enough. Because if she wasn't than everything was going to fall apart.

Rose unclasped the bracelet. The Doctor's eyes did not stray from hers for one second. Rose took it off her wrist and let it fall in the black sand at her feet.

A shiver ran through her. She'd been worried she'd be overcome with a wave of emotions and sensations but it was soft, gradual. Slowly the Doctor reached out his hand, his fingers touched lightly against hers. The bond didn't fire off instantly. It didn't explode as Rose feared it would. It began as a slight tingle against the exact points were her skin touched his. Slowly it ran up her arm travelling with her blood. No, Rose thought. The Doctor had explained this once. Electrical impulses carrying information to the brain. The brain not the heart. This wasn't blood thick and vital pumping through through their veins and giving them life. Just electrical impulses, stimuli, that was all it was. Nothing more.

 _Lie._

Rose's knees nearly folded under her as she heard him inside her mind. Oh, my god. She thought she had remembered. But the memory was nothing compared to the real thing.

 _Look at me_. He didn't order. He asked.

And Rose raised her gaze, meeting his. His eyes were hard, focused as though he was struggling to hold something heavy.

 _Doctor._

She'd sent the thought on instinct. His eyes flickered closed in rapture. And she remembered him telling her how lonely he'd been since he'd lost his people. How the quiet inside his head had been enough to drive anyone mad. And how feeling her, sharing her thoughts and emotions was like giving a starving man water.

"It is blood," he said, still with his eyes closed. "Loving you is blood rushing in my ears, pumping through my hearts to every inch of my body until it fills me and I can't feel anything else. And loosing you... Rose." He opened his eyes and looked at her.

. _...it will bleed me dry._

She felt his words echo inside her chest and reverberate through her bones, settling somewhere in her marrow, so deep down it could never be removed. Loving you is blood. It was blood. Equally tied to their survival and just as much a part of them. One could much less take it away without killing them as... bleeding them dry.

"No," Rose tried to say, fighting every urge inside her. Every beat of her heart that called to his. "It's different now."

"Because I'm different?"

"Yes."

Rose could never stop herself from missing who he'd been but despite the loss it did not weaken her love for him now. Nor could it diminish her need for him. Her whole body hummed with the knowledge that she'd been a fool. A fool to think this could ever be alright again. What she did here today was going to echo through all the years they had left. He would never forget and he would never forgive. And yet she had to do it. Because if she didn't he'd die.

"If you loved me before, why can't you love me now?" he asked. Rose seemed to feel the words inside her more than she heard them spoken, making her unsure if he said across the bond or not.

It made her fear that her own treacherous emotions would not be contained any better. But she had to contain it. Everything she felt. Every dark desire, every passionate plea. She had to lock it safely away, deep down where he couldn't feel it.

"I do love you," she assured him before she had a chance to stop herself. But it was a truth she would never be able to hide. And it would have been too cruel to even try. After all, you could love someone without wanting them. There were different kinds of love.

"With passion..," he murmured so quietly she could barely hear him. "...not just affection." He brushed his thumb across hers and she closed her eyes, shivering. "You used to come alive beneath my hands," he said. He ran his fingers around her wrist, stopping right where her pulse beat. He'd be able to feel it there, she thought. The way her heart hammered in her chest, making her blood rush through her. She was coming alive. Slowly and surely. "My pulse still changes to match yours," he said.

"Doctor, stop for a minute," Rose tried to tell him. She couldn't think and she needed to think. His eyes caught hers.

"You really want me to?" he asked and she looked at him but said nothing. She couldn't make herself speak. "Tell me then Rose. This is your chance. Tell me you don't want me."

He said it like a dare. As though he was daring her to even attempt to deny what was still so very alive between them. That no matter how much she shattered it now it would never die. "Tell me," he said, moving a mere inch or so closer. "Tell me you don't want me that way anymore." He reached up his hand and ran his knuckles across her cheek, so softly that if it wasn't for the tingle accompanying the touch she might not have felt it at all.

"I..," Rose began but the words died on her lips, her voice breathless, thinking right now she didn't want him like this. On a public beach, however beautiful. She wanted him somewhere dark and private. Somewhere they could freely loose themselves in each other. Let the bond reignite between them and let it run wild. That's what she wanted. And that's exactly what she couldn't have.

His hand tightened around her wrist.

"Do you really think it would be all that different?" he asked. He leaned down towards her and she felt his breath against her skin. "If you closed your eyes you might not be able to tell," he whispered. That sounded rather horrible Rose thought. Like pretending he was someone he was not. She felt his fingers skate across her jaw. A tremble ran all the way through her. If he kept this up they were both going to regret it. "I'll never ask you for anything ever again," the Doctor was murmuring softly, his fingers moving across her skin. "Just give me this truth."

Rose was beginning to feel him. On the inside. The way she used to. Every nerve in her body was sparking to life and she could sense a hint of the corresponding sensation in him. The bond was reigniting, reestablishing. Fusing them back together. As they should be. As they couldn't be.

"Stop," Rose said. "Please, Doctor just stop." His fingers were running through her hair, tilting her head back and she let him, her words ringing false. She didn't want them to stop and she feared he knew it.

"Then say it." He was so close that his lips brushed against her cheek as he said it. "Tell me you don't want me. Tell me you want to leave." His mouth was moving closer to hers. Soon it would be too late, Rose thought. The bond would blaze up and there would be no fighting it. It would demand their surrender. Their utter and complete capitulation.

Rose felt the Doctor's lips against hers. There was no pressure. She could just feel them when she drew in a breath. There was only so much he was willing to take. Only so much response he was willing to steal from her, the rest she was going to have to give.

It would be so easy, she thought. It wouldn't take any effort at all. She just had to let go. Let the fire that had begun to burn in the pit of her stomach run wild. She'd missed him. Missed him so much it hurt. Not feeling him the way she used to had left an empty hole in her chest. She had been able to continue breathing. She had survived without him. But that hole in her chest had not gone away. It never would. The bond was the only thing that could fill it. He was the only thing that could fill it.

And she wanted him back. She wanted all of it back. Feeling him, being able to speak to him with her mind alone, Being constantly aware of the ties tying them together, closing her eyes and seeing the golden strings, twining binding, unbreakable.

"Just say it..." he whispered softly against her lips.

"I..." she tried again but again she failed. Because how could she tell this lie and make him believe it when that lie was going to tear down everything. Rip away from her all she knew, all she longed for, dreamed of. This lie wasn't just going to break his heart it would shatter hers too. And there was no coming back from it.

"You can't say it," he said. "Because it isn't true." And then he kissed her.

Sensation exploded along Rose's nerves, rushing like fire and electricity through her blood. Oh, god he still kissed the same, she thought. An errant thought. His lips felt different but they moved the same. With a tinge of excitement and urgency.

Rose pulled her wrist out of his grasp, wrapping her arms hastily around his neck, holding on with everything she had. His arm was around her waist but she could barely perceive it. Her whole body was alive with the rush of euphoria. Her mind was twining with his, their thoughts sliding together and she could feel him there. Inside her head.

His mouth became more insistent against hers. His movements frenzied. His hands were at her face, his fingers getting tangled in her hair.

"Oh, Rose," he sighed into her mouth. "Oh, God Rose, I can feel you."

Feel her.

He could feel her.

No.

Rose tore herself away, forced to push him back. He stumbled, just stopping himself from tripping and falling. He stared at her with hurt confusion.

"I don't want you!" Rose spat. Her blood was still sizzling with the effects of what had just happened. The extra strength it brought was the only reason she had been able to get those vile words out of her mouth. She felt sick the minute she'd spoken them. She clutched her stomach, trying to hold back the nausea.

"You're lying." There was steel and anger in his voice. Rose looked up, struggling to breathe.

"No I'm not," she forced herself to say, forced herself to put strength into the words, willing them to somehow sound true. He'll die, she told herself over and over. If you don't make him believe this, he'll die.

He moved closer.

 _You can't lie to me. I know your heart, Rose Tyler._

He'd told her that before. The exact same thing. After he'd explained to her what he'd done in order to save her and she'd told him she hated him. Then he'd kissed her. Tricked her into letting him feel her. Because then he knew. Knew she'd lied.

"You know nothing," Rose told him. He reached for her and she drew away.

"Don't touch me," she spat. There was a snarl to his lips as he looked at her.

"Because if you let me I will know," the Doctor said. "Know you still want me. Still love me!"

"No!" Rose's voice was hard. "I won't tell you I don't love you because a part of me always will but I don't want you. You are not him."

Rose saw some of that anger falter in him. He shook his head as he stared at her, his eyes hard and hurt at the same time.

"I'm me," he said. "I know, you know that."

"It doesn't matter what I know," Rose said. "My head can't control my heart." He blinked suddenly. The first hints of real doubt crept into his eyes and that doubt was ripping her heart apart because it meant it was working. She was convincing him. And some dark, hidden corner of her soul had hoped she wouldn't be able to. That no matter what she said he'd never doubt her.

The Doctor shook his head, trying so desperately to deny it.

"It's not possible," he said. "No, you're lying. You..."

"I'm not!" At that he grabbed her roughly.

"I felt you," he insisted. "I did! You can't lie to me!"

"It was the bond," Rose told him, feeling as though every horrible word she spoke was condemning her to hell. She tried to squirm out of his hold when all she really wanted was to loose herself in his arms. "That's why I didn't want to take off the bracelet," she said, trying to imbue the words with emotion. Make them not only sound true but feel true. Even though they were just lies. Horrible, vile lies. "With the bond I have no control," Rose told him. "I didn't want it back. I don't want it, I don't want you!"

He stared at her. She saw how desperately he tried to cling to that denial and how hard it was becoming.

"You don't want me..." he said as he stared at her. In an instant he'd let her go, his fingers came up against her temples, surprising her with his gentleness until she realised just what he was doing. Without the bond having been perfectly reestablished this was the way for him to know every thought she had. He'd told her once that doing such a thing without permission was the worst kind of violation. She'd never thought that was something he'd ever do. And it wasn't. He let her go in almost the same instant.

"It's ok," Rose said. "Look." He shook his head.

"I don't want to see it," he said. "If you don't want me anymore I don't want to see it. I don't think I could..."

"Just look," Rose interrupted him, even though she wasn't sure she would even be able to fool him. "If that's the only way you'll believe me, do it!"

He looked up at her. "Rose..." At the sound of his voice fracturing on just her name tears Rose could never fight sprung to her eyes. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do it. But she had to. Oh dear god, she had to finish it.

"The man I loved," she said, not knowing how she was able to continue. "He died. He's dead. You are not him. You can't ever be him." Shards like glass fell behind his eyes, hope dying like a flame without air.

"Then why did you come back to me?" he asked. He looked so lost. Like his whole world was falling apart before his eyes and he had no idea how to but the pieces back together again.

Rose tried to breathe. She didn't think she could breathe.

"I still care about you," she said and saw him cringe at the word as though it was cruel. Rose had to struggle for a moment to continue. "I always will," she said. "And being inside the TARDIS helps. Makes this thing you did to me hurt less." Now it felt like she was just tossing out random words. She wasn't even sure what they meant anymore.

"This thing I did," he said, his voice broken as he stared at the ground. "Right. The part were I gave you a piece of my soul. That thing."

Rose swallowed hard. She could feel his pain. Unbridled and bare. It was mixing with her own, making it hard tell what was what. As she looked at him she began to realise that this wasn't simply breaking him, it was ruining him. She was ruining him. Something broken you could fix but a ruined thing was ruined forever.

She didn't know where she found the strength to keep the lies coming but she knew before she spoke them that there would be no forgiveness. She wasn't sure she would even be able to accept it should it ever be offered.

"You cursed me," Rose said, while anything and everything that had ever been good within her broke along with whatever hope he'd maintained. "You cursed both of us."

Rose knew she was saving him. That this was what she knew she had to do. But it felt like a betrayal. Dark and filthy. She felt dirty. Like she was soiling everything they'd shared. All they'd fought and bled for. The Doctor had put so much faith in her. Given her his heart and soul and trusted her to keep them safe. And now she was throwing that gift in the dirt.

"I am not like you," Rose said, her voice trembling. She was never going to get him to believe this if she couldn't keep her voice steady.

Rose forced herself to be strong. To save the Doctor's life she had to be strong. She couldn't fall apart yet. Not in front of him. She couldn't let herself fall apart. Saving him was all she had left now. "I don't love like you do. I'm human. You've always known that."

"I don't believe you," he said, shaking his head. But she could see everything shattering, hear the hopelessness in his voice. Nothing was ever going to fix this. Ruined not broken. Ruined.

"I'm leaving," Rose said. "You might not believe me now but you will, because I'm not coming back."

"You always come back to me," he said, his voice sounding flat. Dead.

"Not this time," she told him.

Rose let her gaze fall from his. She couldn't bear to face him a minute longer. She didn't think she'd ever known pain quite like this. She'd though the first time she'd lost him. When she'd stood on that beach on the worst day of her life. Or when she thought he'd done something unforgivable just to save her or when he'd stepped into that glass box and she knew he would die or even loosing Mickey. But there was something different about the pain you caused yourself. Hurting someone you loved was a very particular kind of agony. And she wasn't just hurting him she was destroying him. He'd be a ruined man by her hand.

And all this she had to keep locked inside her. She couldn't let a single slip of this pain escape. The Doctor couldn't know this was hurting her as much as him. He had to believe this was what she wanted. She had to make him think she felt relief instead of hurt. Regret but not shame. That she loved him but that she didn't want him. That the best thing for them was to go their separate ways. She had to infuse her thoughts with every inch of false emotion she could muster. She had to make him believe.

Deep down in her heart Rose prayed that River was somehow going to be able to repair some of this damage. She supposed she knew she would. River had told Rose he was happy when she knew him. That he loved her. But the thought of the Doctor with River just made everything inside Rose hurt more. It should comfort her but in that moment she wanted nothing better than to find River and tear her heart out, so she'd know what it felt like.

Rose bent down and snatched the bracelet up out of the sand. She had to go. She had to go now. Before she lost it. So she forced her feet to move. She walked away from him, not sparing him a glance because if she did she'd falter. She'd wrap her arms around him and tell him it wasn't true. Beg his forgiveness on her bare knees. Kiss him and make love to him until she'd shown in every way possible that the words she'd spoken were nothing but dust and ashes. Horrible lies that meant nothing.

Rose kept walking. She couldn't feel the sand beneath her bare feet. She felt numb. Just numb. The Doctor didn't call out after her. He didn't beg for her to stop or scream at her for her cruelty. Or perhaps she simply couldn't hear him.

At some point she picked up her pace. She ran but because she couldn't seem to feel she kept stumbling. The energy inside her was swirling, moving. It was starting to burn. She had awoken it all again. All that she'd struggled so hard to bury. She'd let the bond reignite and then she'd stopped, She'd made his mistakes. You couldn't simply ignite a flame, give it oxygen and fuel to burn and walk away expecting it to quietly die out.

She snapped the bracelet back on and cried out. Pain sharp and unfamiliar cut through her. She stumbled, falling to her knees in the sand. She clutched her arm as pain raked though her body. Pain, bad enough to make her blackout. She tore the bracelet off again. It was too late for her to use it. If she lost consciousness she wouldn't be able to keep control. She had to stay awake.

Rose got back up on her feet, struggling forwards in the sand. She saw the TARDIS at the edge of the beach. She ran for it, pulling opened the door and stumbling inside.

"Amelia Pond!" she screamed. She fell, barely catching herself against the stairs. Light was moving beneath her skin. "Amy!" she screamed again and she fought to let the TARDIS help her regain control but she feared it was too late. Far, far too late. Rose clutched her chest feeling as though her heart was burning to ashes inside her chest. "Amy!"

Amy appeared at the entrance to the control room. Horror filled her eyes as she saw Rose.

"What happened?" she asked urgently as she rushed to Rose's side. "Where's the Doctor?"

"He's..." Rose swallowed hard. She squeezed her eyes shut. Trying desperately to focus on her proximity to the time vortex not on the fact that she was falling apart. She couldn't fall apart. But after this how could she do anything else?

"Rose? What's happening?" Amy asked urgently. Rose's eyes flipped opened and she saw Amy flinch away from her. The fire was in her eyes, she could feel it. Time Lords had become what they were through prolonged exposure to the time vortex. Millions of years, slowly adapting and evolving. She had become what she was because one of them had loved her. Loved her more than he should. But there had been no time for her to adapt and evolve. Her body wasn't meant for this.

Rose fought. She fought so hard. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't get it back under control because she was falling apart inside. She couldn't hold herself together. She didn't deserve to. She deserved to burn.

Amy was stumbling away, instinctively knowing Rose was now a danger. Rose cried out, a broken cry ripped from her very core. She looked up at the console that was no longer familiar to her and she saw all the different shapes it'd had through the years and all the ones it would come to have. All at once. Rose's entire body was ripping itself apart. Her mind screamed with the pain, overwhelmed with all it saw. All it could never properly understand.

Then she watched as strings of light began moving around the room. Dusted, golden light drifting through the air. But it wasn't coming from her. It was coming from the TARDIS. From the ships heart.

The strings of light encircled Rose, winding around her. Slowly but surely the fire inside her began to fade. Easing down to a more manageable level. The TARDIS was doing what the Doctor did when she lost control. Or as close as the ship could manage.

The ache in her head began to reseed. Her eyesight returned to normal. Instead of seeing everything at once she saw only this time, right now. She felt only this moment not a thousand others come and gone. And she felt the TARDIS again. Her kindness. The soul of that beautiful, magnificent ship was kind. So kind and so worried. Worried for Rose and worried for her Doctor. And as she withdrew, the dusts of light retreating back, disappearing between every small crack in the console Rose knew without a doubt that this was a once in a lifetime thing. The TARDIS would never be able to this for Rose again.

Rose sent a thought of utter gratitude to the ship. But her brief moment of reprieve swiftly vanished. Because even thought the TARDIS had been able to help her with the errant energy inside her it could do nothing for her heart.

Because Rose had just taken the one thing that was most important to her in all of the universe, taken it between her hands and crushed it. She'd stood and let the life bleed out between her fingers. Felt it all turn to ash.

She suddenly became aware of Amy. She was still there. She stood pressed against the wall, staring at Rose in fear and amazement.

"Amy," Rose said, her voice a bit rough. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Amy, I need you to promise me something." Amy was not answering. Rose glanced over at her. "Did you hear me?" Rose asked. Amy nodded carefully, her eyes not straying from Rose for one second as though she feared Rose would suddenly pounce on her.

"I need you to look after him," Rose said, struggling to get the words out. "He..." she faltered. "He can't be on his own. He..." Rose tried not to cry but the tears came all the same. She'd known this was going to hurt and yet she wasn't prepared for it. Not at all. She closed her eyes for a moment as tears, soft and silent ran down her cheeks.

Rose had to force her eyes back opened. She needed Amy to understand. It was so important. Because even if the Doctor was going to loose Rose he couldn't loose who he was. The world needed him. But the world needed the Doctor, not the Time Lord or the Oncoming storm or, god forbid something worse which she knew he was very capable of becoming.

"He doesn't know when to stop," Rose said. "None of them do. He needs someone with him. Someone to stop him and remind him of why he's here. What it is he's fighting for. I need you to do that. Can..." Rose took a shuddering breath. "Can you do that? Can you promise me?"

"You're really leaving," Amy said, staring at Rose. "For good." Rose nodded, unable to say the words out loud again.

"Is this because of what I said?" Amy asked with a hint of urgency. "Because I didn't mean it. Not like that... I..."

"No," Rose cut her off. "It's not because of what you said.

"Then why?" Amy breathed. "Why would you do this to him?" It was so tempting to confide in Amy. To just let someone know that Rose hadn't done this out of malice or apathy. That she had done this not because she didn't love him but because she loved him too much.

"It's just time," was all Rose said.

"But you can't," Amy insisted, pushing herself away from the wall. Not as scared now when she was getting angry. "You so can't because if you do you'll break him."

"I know," Rose said. "Trust me I do."

"No, you don't see him when you're not looking. Rose, he can't..."

"I know!" Rose interrupted sharply. She didn't need Amy to tell her. She knew because she felt it herself.

"Then how can you...?" Amy trailed off. "You don't love him," Amy said, staring at Rose. "Do you?"

Rose struggled back on her feet. Amy's accusation would have hurt if she was capable of feeling any more pain. If she was capable of feeling anything more at all.

"Just promise me you'll look after him, yeah?" Rose told her, clutching the railing to make sure she stayed on her feet. It took a while but eventually Amy nodded, a bit of hate blazing through her eyes. He always chose his companions well, Rose thought. Amy would protect him. That steely Scottish defiance wouldn't let anything harm him. "He's out there," Rose said. "Alone. You should go find him."

"And then when we get back you'll be gone I take it?" Amy said. Rose nodded. Amy stalked off towards the doors. "If I ask you what just happened here, would you tell me?" Amy asked over her shoulder.

"No," Rose replied.

"Will he?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Someday. When he's ready."

And Amy walked out the door, slamming it shut as she went. She hated Rose. In that moment she hated her. Amy remembered the look of absolute distraught when she'd told the Doctor that Rose was gone when he'd been back after not five minutes but twelve years. The fear in his eyes as he thought he might have lost her for good. And then when he'd found her again and she'd walked away and he hadn't been able to stay on his feet when he thought he no longer mattered to the girl he loved. And then now. The last couple of days when she'd seen them laugh together, smile and talk, how every inch of them both seemed to light up in each other's company. Why would Rose have done that? Why had she let him believe there was a chance if she was just going to leave him anyway? How could anyone be so cruel?

Amy hurried across the beach, her eyes searching for the Doctor, her gut filled with worry. At first she didn't see him. The whole place seemed deserted. Then some movement caught her eye and she saw him standing out on the deck. Right at the edge, staring down into the water. Amy ran through the black sand and out onto the wood, her shoes hammering against it as she rushed to him.

She slowed down to halt as she finally got close.

"Doctor...?" she said carefully, afraid she might startle him. He didn't answer. "Doctor?" she tried again. "Not planning on jumping there are ye?" she asked.

"No," he said, his voice sounding strangely monotone. "I would have to swim down to where it's hot enough to actually do some damage," he said. "Would probably drown first," he concluded.

"Yeah, but you won't do that though will you?" Amy asked, watching him carefully. But he shook his head.

"No," he assured flatly. "Not that the thought didn't cross my mind. But if I did a thing like that she'd definitely never forgive me."

"You sure it's you that needs forgiving?" Amy asked.

"Doesn't really matter anymore," he said. He stepped back from the edge. "Nothing does."

Amy wrapped her fingers around his arm and turned him towards her.

"Don't say that," she said. "There are a lot of things that matter." The Doctor laughed without humour.

"Like what?" he asked. Amy looked into his eyes and the words died on her lips. They were flat and cold and a little mad. There was nothing of the man she'd come to know. There was darkness in there now, she thought. The broken kind. The kind that ruined everything it touched. She had to struggle for a moment to find her words.

"Well," she said. "You still have the TARDIS, you have... me."

"You?" She didn't like the way he said it. Like he'd thought her arrogant to suggest it.

"Yes," she said sharply. "You do. Rose might have left but that does not mean you are alone." He flinched away at the sound of her name, Amy's hold on his sleeve slipped.

"You are amazing, Amelia Pond," the Doctor said, reaching out his hand and twirling a lock of her red hair around his finger. He studied the string of hair for a moment and Amy couldn't for the life of her tell what he was thinking as he did. "And wonderful and strong," he said as he let the lock slip away. His hand fell. "You all are."

"We all? What do you mean?"

"You're not the first to travel with me and neither was Rose," the Doctor said, his eyes not really focusing on anything. "And you're all amazing creatures. Humans. Brave. Selfless. Better than I could ever be. But there is one thing you can't do."

"And what is that?" Amy asked.

"You can't stay with me," he said after a while. "Eventually you all... leave. One way or another. Make no mistake Amelia Pond," he said. "In the end I am always alone."


	54. Chapter 54 - Falling

Chapter 54 - Falling

There were times when Amy wanted to leave and there were times when she could never imagine a life where she did. Travelling with the Doctor was a mad rollercoaster. She saw beautiful things and she saw horrible things. She saved civilisations and saw others crumble. She was a leaf caught on the wind being swept along and at the centre of it all stood the Doctor, untouched by the storm swirling around him, the people that came and went. Not even when they'd met a woman he knew. Or would come to know did it seem to touch him. She had been named River Song. She had been able to fly the TARDIS. Better than both Rose and the Doctor in fact. The pair of them had mostly seemed to run around, making it up as they went but absolutely not wanting it any other way. While River flew the ship as though she'd actually known what she was doing. River had seemed quite thrilled to see him but the Doctor had mostly glared at her, like she was the cause of all his pain.

Someone else joined them down the line. Someone wonderful and amazing. His name was Rory Williams and Amy had known him almost all her life. On that night when the Doctor and Rose had come back for her, it had been the night before their wedding. Amy could admit now that she'd been scared. And she'd run away. But she wasn't running anymore. She had no desire to run. She loved Rory. Loved him more than any one thing in the universe. Well, in all honesty she might still have the urge to run but the beauty of it was that Rory ran with her.

So then it had been the three of them. Amelia Pond and Rory Williams with the Doctor in the TARDIS, running across the stars and never stopping. From time to time they ran into River again. And Amy watched as the Doctor slowly seemed to warm to her a bit. And Amy thought that perhaps he'd even open up to her. Perhaps he'd forget about Rose. Forget what he'd had and what she'd taken away.

Amy would like to think that Rose was off somewhere, living her life far, far away. But she saw her from time to time. On a street corner or sitting in the back of a crowded restaurant. One face in a sea of others, never approaching them. Always careful so the Doctor wouldn't see her. She always looked the same, her clothes changed but her face didn't seem to.

She'd been there on the day at Demon's run but never once had she let her presence be known. And Amy had never said a word. Rose should stay gone. No good would come of her returning and messing up the Doctor's life when he was slowly beginning to heal.

Rose had been there in the shadows as they learned who River Song was. That she was Amy and Rory's daughter. Sometimes time travel was impossible to wrap your head around. And Amy had wondered if Rose had known all along.

She'd been there always, just at the edge of the shadows and the Doctor never knew and Amy never said. Then came the wedding of River Song. She had married the Doctor and in the process actually saved time itself. The thought that maybe it was disingenuous had crossed Amy's mind. She knew he still woke up at night screaming Rose's name. Howling it into the dark but never getting a reply.

Amy wasn't sure Rose knew what had happened between the Doctor and River but Amy had not seen her since that day. Perhaps she did know and had finally decided to let go. The Doctor seemed to have done so. He seemed to finally have embraced his life and that it did no longer include the blonde girl that some still whispered about in dark corners and called Bad Wolf.

Amy was currently sitting in Central Park, New York. It was a sunny day. The Doctor was leaning his back against hers and they were both reading while Rory was lying on his back, watching the clouds pass by overhead. Or rather Amy was trying to read because the Doctor kept reading out loud.

"Doctor, you're doing it again," Amy said.

"I'm reading!" he informed her.

"Out loud," Amy pointed out "Please could you not?" The Doctor, turned, glaring at her over his shoulder.

"There's something different about you, isn't there?" He squinted at her. Rory got up.

"What's the book?" he asked, clearly distracting the Doctor from making some disastrous comment.

"Melody Malone," the Doctor announced with glee. "She's a private detective in old town New York."

"She's got ice in her heart and a kiss on her lips, and a vulnerable side she keeps well hidden," Amy finished for him.

"Oh, you've read it?" the Doctor asked in surprise.

"No, you read it." Amy told him. pushing her new reading glasses higher up on her nose. "Aloud," she told him again. "And then went yowzah!

"Only you could fancy someone in a book," Rory told the Doctor.

"I'm just reading it," the Doctor said defensively. "I just like the cover."

"Oh, can we see the cover?" Amy asked, turning around and reaching for it.

"No, no, I'm busy." The Doctor held the book out of Amy's reach. He halted again as he looked at her. "It's your hair!" he said. "Is it your hair?

"Oh, shut up," Amy told him with an eye roll. "It's the glasses. I'm wearing reading glasses now." She pushed them up as they slid down again. "..on my nose, see? There you go."

"I don't like them," the Doctor remarked, making a face. "They make your eyes look all liney." He held them up so he could see her eyes. "No, actually, sorry." He dropped them back down on her nose. "They're fine," he assured. "Carry on."

"Okay, I'm going to go and get us some more coffee. Who wants more coffee? Me too. I'll go!

"Rory," Amy said too sweetly. "Do I have noticeable lines on my eyes now?"

"Yes," the Doctor honestly and foolishly admitted.

"No," Rory assured immediately.

"You didn't look," Amy pointed out to her husband.

"I noticed them earlier," he said but caught himself. "Didn't notice them," he corrected. "I specifically remember not noticing them."

"You walk among fire pits, Centurion," Amy remarked referencing his time as an actual roman centurion.

Amy had been locked inside a box for two thousand years and Rory and stood guard outside. Or a plastic version of him anyway. He'd become a legend. The last centurion guarding the Pandorica box from any who tried to open it before its time.

That was a timeline that had never happened. Not to the rest of the world but Amy, Rory, River and the Doctor still remembered it.

"Do I have to come over there?" Rory asked. Amy smiled at him.

"You can if you like." Her smile widened suggestively.

"Well, we have company," Rory remarked as he drew closer, nodding towards the Doctor.

"I'll get a babysitter," Amy said as Rory leaned down and kissed her.

"Oh, do you know, it is so humiliat-"

The Doctor suddenly fell silent. Amy turned away from Rory to find out what in all the universe could possibly have the power to make the Doctor shut up. He was sitting perfectly still, staring at something.

"Doctor?" she asked. He got up, the book he'd been reading falling forgotten at his feet. "Doctor?" Amy tried again. He didn't answer. And then he walked away. Amy grabbed the book and scrambled to her feet, Rory following her.

"It's like controlling a puppy," Rory moaned as Amy hurried after the Doctor. "Correct that," Rory said. "Two puppies."

The Doctor picked up his pace, running through the park with Amy and Rory hurrying to keep up. Suddenly Amy stumbled to a stop, Rory crashing into her back. She watched with absolute dread as he ran for a girl, standing with another man under a tree. The Doctor stopped just a couple of metres away from them. The pair of them were looking at something in the guy's hand. Amy didn't hear what the Doctor said but whatever it was it made the girl look up. Rose.

For a moment Rose looked as though she'd seen a ghost. As though she couldn't believe who was standing before her. She swallowed hard, leaning closer to the guy next to her and telling him something. The guy's eyes flickered over to the Doctor and Amy thought she could see some hint of hostility within them. Rose left the guy and walked over to the man she'd left behind where he stood absolutely still.

"You shouldn't be here," she told him.

"Excuse me? I can go anywhere I like, I'm the Doctor," he said, his voice turning a little hard. Amy unwittingly clasped Rory's hand.

"Who's she?" Rory asked. "I think I might have seen her before."

"That's Rose," Amy said with a touch of anger.

Amy would never forgive Rose for what she did to the Doctor. Not ever. When she'd left she'd left him broken and no matter how much Amy had tried those first few months she hadn't been able to put the pieces back together. She wasn't even sure they were now. At times she thought so. She thought she helped and Rory too and River. They laughed and smiled and had great adventures together but at other times when Amy looked into his eyes all she saw was darkness. Like staring into an abyss. It was frightening. All the years he'd lived were never so pronounced as during those moments.

"Like, thee Rose?" Rory was asking. "The one you said..."

"Left him, yes," Amy finished for him.

"Hu," Rory remarked. "I thought she'd be older." Amy turned her head and gave him warning glare.

"Burning pits," she said. "Scorching."

"Sorry," he mumbled apologetically. "So who was she really? His girlfriend or...?"

"I think she was the love of his life," Amy said as they both watched the Doctor and Rose. They stood talking and judging by both their expressions it wasn't a pleasant conversation.

"Then why did she leave him?" Rory asked sounding truly perplexed at this.

"I said she was the love of his life I didn't say he was hers."

"You're married!" They suddenly heard Rose shout at the Doctor. Everyone started. "In case you forgot! You got married!" Amy saw the Doctor's hands clench into fists at his sides but he said nothing. "So don't you dare speak to me about..." Rose stopped talking and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. It was longer than the last time Amy had seen her. She had it in a single braid that she mostly undid. She seemed to realise this herself and let her hand drop. "Like you were supposed to," Rose corrected herself, her eyes falling to the ground. "You did what you were supposed to."

"Oh, and you think that you understand time and events?" the Doctor asked cruelly. "Fixed points and those in flux? You think you understand what needs to happen?"

"No, I don't," Rose said. "But I do understand one simple thing."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"The universe needs the Doctor," Rose told him. She took a step back, still not looking at him. But it seemed to take effort for her to do it. Like she was breaking free from a magnetic field . "So go, go be the Doctor," she said.

Rose retreated, going back to the man she'd left waiting under the tree, while the Doctor watched her every step. The guy reached out for Rose and she met him. The way they touched suggested intimacy. They knew each other well. How well was difficult to tell but there was something there for sure.

"How long did it take for you to notice?" the Doctor called out to Rose. She halted and reluctantly turned away from the guy at her side. She looked back over at the Doctor.

"I already knew," she said. Amy wasn't sure what they were talking about. "Annabelle told me at Davros's lair." That seemed to surprise the Doctor.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" he asked.

"I assumed you already knew," Rose said. "And besides, she could have lied." The Doctor said nothing for a while.

"I didn't know," he finally said. "I suspected but I didn't know. Not for sure."

"Yeah, well..." Rose turned away again. "Now you do." She looked up at the guy before her. "Let's go," she said.

"So how long do you think this is going to last then?!" the Doctor called out as Rose and the other man turned and walked away. "You'll see how it feels!" he shouted angrily but Rose continued walking. She didn't look back but Amy saw her grab the guy's hand tightly as though she might fall if she didn't.

Amy left Rory and hurried over to the Doctor's side the minute she saw him attempt to move forwards. She clasped his arm stopping him.

"Doctor don't," she said. She felt his muscles tense beneath her hand.

"I hate her," he growled. "I...I just want to..." He held up his hands as though he was wringing the neck of a chicken or something. Amy took his hands.

"I know," she said. "I know." The Doctor's head whipped around and he looked at Amy, a desperation in his eyes.

"I've felt her you know," he told her. "At first I thought I was going crazy. But I wasn't. I could feel her even though I couldn't see her. And now, ever since River... since River and I..." He struggled for a moment. "Nothing," he said. "And now here she is. Suddenly out of nowhere and she has the audacity to tell me I'm the one who shouldn't be here. Me! I'm the Doctor! I can go anywhere I wish! She can't...-"

"Doctor," Amy interrupted him. "Calm down."

"Yeah." Rory appeared at their side. "Easy there."

The Doctor tore free from Amy's hold, twirling away from them in frustration.

"Hey, how about some coffee?" Rory suggested again, like this simple beverage was the answer to all problems. "Or perhaps this is more of a tea moment? No? Coffee then? I'll go get some shall I. Yeah?" He headed off.

"Make it decaf!" Amy called after him as he hurried away. Amy turned back to the Doctor. "Doctor?" Amy asked, watching him. "What were you two talking about anyway? What was it she thought you already knew?" The Doctor put his hands on his hips and glanced over at Amy.

"She doesn't age like a normal human would," he said. "Or didn't you notice?" She had. Rory had been right. Rose actually looked about exactly the same as when Amy had last spoken to her on that volcanic beach.

"How is that possible?" Amy asked.

"I did this thing... this... Her cells they sort of rejuvenate. They...-" He waved his hand in the air. "It's not important."

"You did a thing?" Amy asked.

"Not important," the Doctor told her.

"Sounds rather important," Amy remarked. His eyes caught hers and he seemed to realise just what he was saying.

"She was dying," the Doctor explained reluctantly. "I did something in order to save her. Something I wasn't supposed to do. Something that actually should never be done."

"But you did it anyway," Amy said. "Because it was Rose."

"Yes," he admitted. "She has enough energy inside her to blow a hole in the universe and fry her brain of she ever lost control of it. I turned her into a weapon."

"I see," Amy said, though she wasn't entirely sure she did. "So some of that energy is what keeps her young."

"It prolongs her life. How long I don't know. As long as her cells can keep essentially regenerating quicker than they deteriorate I guess."

"So she could be with you for a long time. Maybe forever?" Amy asked. The Doctor smiled sadly.

"Ironic isn't it?" he asked.

"Not sure that's the word I'd use," Amy said. There were other's that came to mind. Sad. Tragic. Wasteful. Cruel. But not ironic. The Doctor stopped suddenly and looked around.

"Where's Rory?" he asked.

"He went to get coffee," Amy answered, nodding her head in the direction Rory had gone.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, coffee."

The Doctor stared at Amy for a moment, looking as though he was trying to puzzle something out.

"Let me see that book."

The Doctor held out his hand for the book Amy was still holding. She gave it back to him. He flipped through the pages until he found the spot where he'd left off.

"Doctor, what is it?" He tore out the last page of the book and stuffed it in his pocket, not answering her. "Why did you do that?"

"Just in case," he said.

"In case of what?"

"In case I don't want this story to end."

"Ook."

He flipped a couple of more pages.

"As I crossed the street, I saw the thin guy, but he didn't see me," the Doctor read aloud. "I guess that's how it began. I followed the skinny guy for two more blocks before he turned and I could ask exactly what he was doing here. He looked a little scared, so I gave him my best smile and my bluest eyes."

"Don't go yowzah again," Amy warned him. He didn't go yowzah. He didn't say anything.

"Doctor?" Amy asked. "What did the skinny guy say?"

"He said, I just went to get coffees for the Doctor and Amy. Hello, River."

/

"Rose? You ok?" Rose clutched James's hand.

"Just get me out of here," Rose said.

"But what about the time distortions?" James asked.

"They're not here. Right place wrong time. Plus I imagine the Doctor will be on top of it."

"Rose..." He trailed off softly. "Slow down." Reluctantly she stopped. James urged her face up with the tips of his fingers. "Breathe," he said. "Breathe." She took a couple of deep breaths. "You have to calm down."

Rose looked up into James's brown eyes. Those eyes that had grown so familiar through these past few years. She let her gaze run over the planes of his face, his features that were just a little too attractive. It had annoyed her at first. Those angled cheekbones and dreadfully charming dimples that came out when he smiled. He was one of those guys who were aware of the effect he had and used it shamelessly. Rose had never quite liked guys like that. So it had taken her quite some time to warm up to him. It had actually taken him saving her life three times for her to pretty much acknowledge his existence.

His name was James Cloud and he was Red's brother. He worked as a Negotiator for the Shadow proclamation which essentially meant he was a solicitor with right to carry a gun. The Architect had used to send him with Rose in case she made a mess of things. It had taken some time but they had eventually become good friends, someone Rose had begun to trust, that she sometimes even could confide in.

"You ok?" he asked. Rose nodded. Her heart rate was slowing down and the pounding in her temples was easing up. "So that was the guy hu?" he asked, glancing back to where they'd left the Doctor.

"That was the Doctor," Rose confirmed.

"I thought he'd be taller," James said and Rose had to stop herself from laughing. James did have a way of making her smile even when she thought she might never smile again. "I mean, I could definitely take him," James said. "You want me to fight him? Cus I'll fight him." He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder. "I'll go right now." Rose clasped his arms, stopping him.

"James, no," she said, laughing a little. "I don't want you to fight him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she nodded. Rose looked back over James's shoulder, the smile slipping from her face. "Besides, you shouldn't let his looks fool you," Rose said. "You don't want to get on his bad side."

"Yeah, you're right," James agreed. "Even though he's somehow been deleted from every database in the universe I still remember the things you told me about him. The Oncoming storm, the Predator. I'll probably get one good swing in and then he'll erase me from history so I was never born or something."

"Oh, no he wouldn't do that," Rose assured. "He's good though. Kind." James looked at her in disbelief.

"The way he was looking at me? No," James said, shaking his head. "He'd definitely erase me from history if he ever saw me so much as touch you in a... you know... forward manner."

"In a forward manner?" Rose smiled as they continued walking. "How very victorian of you," she said, putting on a stuffy accent.

"I don't really know what that means," James said as he kept pace with her. Rose steered them down a set of stone steps.

"I was just calling you old," Rose said.

"Old?" James sounded rather affronted at this. "Says the girl who's, and I quote "lost count"," he said making quotation marks in the air with his fingers. Rose clasped his hand and pulled him away behind the steps into the shadows. "You know one of these days you are going to have to explain this whole not ageing like you should, thing."

"Why don't you just ask your brother?" Rose began setting coordinates on her vortex manipulator.

"Because he'll just give me a bunch of science mumbo jumbo that I won't understand a word of anyway," James explained.

"Uhu," Rose mumbled as she was focused on the manipulator around her wrist.

"And you know..." James was saying. "I'd really like for you to tell me." Rose looked up at him with incomprehension.

"What?" she asked. James shook his shoulders.

"You know, that you'd trust me enough," he said. Rose smiled at him.

"How about you tell me your middle name and I tell you why I don't age properly? How about that?"

"You know after some thought," James began as Rose took his hand and placed it on the manipulator. "I think everyone actually benefits from a bit of privacy, you know. Everyone should...-"

James was cut off mid sentence as they were both suddenly yanked savagely forwards and falling down all at once. They hurled through the vortex and then were suddenly tossed out. Rose was so used to it by now that it barely shook her up at all. James was another matter. He groaned and scrunched up his face.

"I'll never get used to that," he moaned. "I don't get how you do it."

"I don't eat," Rose said. James glanced over at her.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. No food, six hours before and you're fine. Promise."

"But I've seen you eat," James insisted as they both began walking down the bland white corridor they'd landed in. "Like practically during."

"Now it doesn't matter," Rose said. "But in the beginning it was the only way to not puke my guts out every time."

"I'll remember that."

"Do," Rose said as they continued down the hall.

"You know," James said after a while. "If you want we can go back and help him..."

"No," Rose immediately interrupted him, shaking her head. "I can't." She took a deep breath. "Not since he... since he and River... I just can't." She tried to stop her stuttering and form a proper sentence. "I mean, I knew it was going to happen. I knew it had to happen but I can't take it. I just can't."

"Ok," James said, taking her hand. "It's ok." Rose took a shuddering breath, nodding.

"So you're back." Rose and James halted, backtracked and saw the Architect coming towards them down another hallway, two big Judoon at either side of her. James let go of Rose's hand.

"Short trip," Rose said. The Architect drew to a halt as she neared them.

"Any progress?" she asked.

"Still no sign of the Silence. Not since Lake Silencio. Since the collapse."

"Since the Doctor's wedding then." Rose tried not to but she still flinched.

"Yes." Rose forced the word passed her lips. Whenever Rose had gone off in the past to stupidly check that the Doctor was alright the Architect liked to remind Rose that she'd been replaced. That worrying about the Doctor wasn't really her job anymore. Her job was to move in the shadows like a ghost. But to simply stay away or stand by and do nothing had been impossible. She had dragged a plastic version of Rory out of a burning London. Talked to a little Amelia Pond about stars. And she'd been there at Demon's run and watched him become the thing she feared. The Oncoming storm. The thing for all to fear. And she'd tried, tried so hard to save Amy and Rory's child but in the end she'd been as useless as the rest of them.

She hadn't always been there though. It had taken her months after the second earth shattering goodbye on a bloody beach to gather the strength to even stand up. She'd made the Architect lock her up in that cell designed especially for her, with the crystal from Poosh all along its walls. She been in the cell for months, completely cut off because that was the only way she'd survived. It had hurt. A lot. And it had taken something away from her. Some part of her she didn't think she could ever get back.

"Annabelle Conn said they were a rouge fraction that had gone back in time to prevent the Doctor from doing whatever it is they think he'll do so it probably died with Madam Kovarian. Hopefully anyway."

"Well, you are...-"

"I'm sorry, Madam Architect," Rose interrupted her. "But it's late. For me anyway. I'd really like to get some sleep." The Architect regarded the pair of them and then gave a reluctant nod.

"Just go see Lian and Red the minute you wake up," she told Rose. "They needed some more blood work I think."

Rose rolled her eyes at that and started off.

"They have enough of my blood to build a new me," she moaned as she walked away. James gave the Architect a customary bow of respect before he hurried to join Rose.

"You know, that doesn't sound too bad," he said to Rose. "Two of you."

"Yeah, cus you think then maybe you'd have a chance with one of us?" Rose asked. James shook his shoulders.

"I'd say it doubles my chances," he said.

"It really doesn't," Rose told him as they turned, heading down a new hallway.

They were making their way to the living quarters. It had occurred to Rose that maybe she should get her own place. Something to call home. But doing that meant she had to let go of the only thing that had felt like home since she'd left the one back in London that she'd shared with her mum. It meant she truly had to leave the Doctor behind. And she found she couldn't do that. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

It was hard. A life without him. Not just because she obviously missed him but because the bond had been reestablished enough that it called out to him constantly. Her heart probably would have done so anyway. But it wasn't just her soul yearning for his it was her blood screaming inside her veins. She'd lost count of the number of times they'd had to lock her up in that cell because she couldn't keep control. Because she was close to loosing it. Once bonded they weren't meant to be apart. It was a cruel fate. A dangerous one.

Lian and Red both tried so hard to find ways around what the Doctor had done. They had for instance developed a sedative especially for Rose that helped when she couldn't keep control. Helped. That's all it did. Rose knew this couldn't go on forever. There was a breaking point. And when she reached it she would be forced either to return to him or she would break and take half the universe with her.

"This is me," Rose said, stopping at a door that looked exactly like all the others down the hall. Simple steal with a comm system and keypad next to it.

"See you tomorrow," James said.

"Yeah, see ya." Rose opened the door by swiping a card across the keypad. The door slid opened soundlessly.

"You know," James said, turning around and walking backwards while he talked. "I'm going to suggest this, two you, thing to Red. I think we might be on to something." He smiled, showing of those annoyingly charming dimples.

"Good night James," Rose said, heading into her room while shaking her head and smiling. The door slid shut behind her and the smile slipped from her face.

Her room was dark and sparse. A bed, a desk and a small attached bathroom. Military quarters. Just the bare essentials. But the size and design is where the similarities ended. The floor was strewn with her clothes, the desk was cluttered with things she'd picked up here and there and the bed wasn't made. No military discipline for Rose Tyler.

Rose kicked off her shoes and got into the bathroom and shrugged out of her jacket. There she discarded her other clothes and got into the shower. She let the warm water run over her. She was always cold these days and could never quite seem to get warm. Rose tried to let the pain of seeing the Doctor again run off with the water but it wasn't that simple. It hurt. Oh, dear heavens how it hurt. She clenched her hands into fists willing herself not to cry. There had been no other way. She'd done what she had to, to save his life. She'd let him go. She'd done the right thing. But it would never feel right. Because she had betrayed herself in her heart. Betrayed him. As she thought of the words she'd said that day she could still feel the taste of them like ash in her mouth.

But they'd done their job. He'd moved on. Really moved on. He'd married someone else. River Song. Destined to either be the woman who murdered the Doctor or the one that married him. Turns out she was destined to be both in a sense. And what was Rose destined to become? The Bad Wolf? A dark fairytale lost in the pages of history, marked as nothing more than a tragedy?

She knew the Doctor would never forgive her. Not even if she ever explained why she'd done what she did. The wound was too deep. She was sure it had marked him as much as it had her. But at least he'd found the strength and the will to leave it behind. She couldn't really say that she had. Her world still spun around the Doctor whilst his couldn't be further away from her.

Rose barely felt the tears as they trailed down her cheeks mixing with the water pouring over her. Don't cry, she told herself. She slammed her fist into the wall. Don't cry. She drew in a snivelling breath. But the tears would not listen to her. They needed to fall and so they fell. Rose wrapped her arms around herself as she slid down the wall to the floor. The water though probably still warm felt cold as it poured over her. She shivered as she cried. Cried and cried because she couldn't stop. Would it always hurt like this? Could it ever get better? Or did she perhaps not deserve that? Was this her punishment for the pain she'd caused him? She'd saved his life but at a cost. A cost to both their souls.

She had to stop or she would loose control again. Rose hugged her knees to her chest as she cried and tried so desperately to hold herself together. She didn't know for how long she sat in the shower feeling as though she was a drop away from falling apart. But eventually she somehow found the strength to get back up.

She got dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt that had a print that said; Don't ask me, I don't live here, and crawled into bed with her hair still wet.

She woke up sometime in the middle of the night. Woke up from a sound she thought she might never hear again. Rose sat up straight in the bed and stared in utter disbelief as the TARDIS materialised in her small room. She didn't move. Didn't do anything. She must be dreaming because this was not possible. The blue box towered up in front of her, somehow fitting into a corner of the room. The light from the top and the letters along its edge reading, Police public call box were the only illumination in the room. Rose waited, not at all sure what on earth to do. Her mouth grew dry as she stared at the doors, actually fearing what would come out of them. For the longest time nothing happened. The TARDIS just stood there, quiet and somehow a little menacing.

Then suddenly the door opened with a creak and a storm swept out of it. A storm born out of darkness and grief. The room itself seemed to darken as he entered it. He moved across the floor. Rose had no time to react before he'd grabbed her and yanked her off the bed. She felt each of his fingers dig into her skin. It was like fire scorching her, hot and wicked and dangerous. His mouth came down hard and desperate on hers. Rose was too stunned to fight him, her mind too much of a scramble to recognise what was happening. But her body responded immediately, her lips parting against the pressure of his. He kissed her like he was breaking inside. And Rose kissed him back. There was no way she could have not.

The Doctor tore his lips away from hers. He rested his forehead against Rose's, his breathing heavy. While Rose felt as though she'd simple forgotten how to breathe.

"Tell me you didn't know," he ground out. Rose had no idea what he was talking about. He shook her once. "Tell me you didn't know!" he barked out.

"Wh..what?" Rose stuttered. He looked at her with eyes dark, filled with pain and tears. Shadows fell beneath them, making him look both frightening and at the same time so horribly hurt.

"Tell me you didn't know they'd die," he said, his voice breaking. "Tell me you didn't know."

"Who's dead?" Rose asked, fear and confusion rushing through her mixing with the passion left from the kiss. Nothing was making sense, her body was at war with itself as she tried to understand what he was talking about.

"Amy," the Doctor ground out. "And Rory."

"Amy and Rory... they're..." Rose couldn't bring herself to say it. She'd seen both of them just a few hours ago. They couldn't be... No...

"They're dead!" the Doctor practically screamed in her face. "Dead, Rose!" Rose stared at him. More time must have past for him than for her, she thought errantly. Everything couldn't have gone so horribly wrong in just a few hours. His fingers dug into her arms. "Tell me you didn't know," he said again.

"I... I didn't," Rose said. "How could I?"

"You were there!" he barked. "I haven't seen you for years! Oh, I felt you make no mistake there," he told her. "But I have not seen you and then suddenly there you were. And now they're gone!"

"I... I'm sorry," Rose managed to get out. "But I didn't know. I swear."

His dark, tortured eyes tracked hers.

"I didn't," she assured him again. He said nothing, his eyes running over the planes of her face. "Doctor?" Rose tried. "Talk to me. Tell me what happened." His eyes shifted back up to hers.

"I'd rather not talk right now," he said.

His eyes grew hooded as they slipped back down to fasten on her lips. And Rose understood just what was on his mind.

"Doctor..." she tried again, carefully. She didn't need the bond to know his thoughts were dark and haunted. "I know you're hurting right now." Rose's breath came short and shallow. "But don't do something you'll regret."

"Regret?" he asked, mocking the word. "What does that compare to?" One of his hands eased its brutal hold and ran up her arm, brushing lightly against her throat to cup her cheek. There were no kindness in his movements. They spoke of barely contained anger and desperation. Of fear, enough to cripple any man. "Nothing," he said. He used his thumb to angle her face up, baring her neck for his hungry gaze, making Rose feel terribly vulnerable.

"Used to be one of my greatest fears," he mumbled, leaning down towards her. Rose felt his lips brush lightly against her skin, stopping where her pulse fluttered so close to the surface. "Your beautiful, beautiful skin withering, decaying. Reminding me that my time with you was running out. Like a ticking clock." His breath sluiced over her neck as he spoke, making Rose shiver. "But there are far worse things that you can do to me, Rose." She could feel the tensile strength in his fingers, the way he might actually want to strangle her but didn't. She had hurt him. She knew she had. And now he'd lost people he'd grown to love. It was enough to send anyone reeling out of all control. "You can tear me apart," he said. " Rip me to shreds until I don't even recognise myself anymore. I would rip down every star from the sky if it meant you'd love me." Rose thought her heart might break from the agony in his voice. "But the one thing I can't do is the one thing you want. The one thing I can't give you. I can't be him again." Rose felt a tear roll down her cheek. A lonely, salted tear. "But if I'm going to burn in the fires of hell..." he said, raising his head and looking at her. His hold tightened, his fingers digging into her skin and Rose almost winced. "... you can might as well burn with me."

The Doctor kissed her. Harsh and angry. This was the man who'd destroyed his own race, Rose thought as she felt the cruel pressure of his lips against hers. The man who stood by and watched civilisations crumble. This was the man the Daleks had named the Oncoming storm, the Predator. Someone to be feared. Born in darkness and fuelled by the pain of too much compassion. True apathy only came from caring too much. From your heart not being able to take anymore. War and death had made him a destroyer of worlds. Loving Rose and losing the only lifeline he'd had left had turned him into darkness personified. Because to his mind there was no other road open to him anymore. It was this, pouring all his pain and fear into Rose and in so doing pulling her into the darkness with him or lay down and die. Those were his only options.

Rose was quick. She knew she was. Years of travelling, thrown into dangerous situations where you were either quick or you were dead had honed her reflexes. But she was not as fast as the Doctor. He yanked the bracelet that kept the bond cut off from her wrist before she could stop him. He tossed it away in one angry motion.

There was no slow awakening this time. Rose had no time to shout at him for what he'd done. No time to let him know she wouldn't forgive this. The bond exploded between them, it's power nearly knocking both of them to their knees. Electricity ruptured wild and unstoppable along Rose's nerves, the feel of him burning through her blood. His arms came hastily around her, pulling her tight against him. The bond was blazing, burning so hot and fast it was actually painful. Areas of Rose's mind that seemed to have laid dormant erupted instantly to life connecting rapidly with his. She felt a wave of grief from him so strong it brought tears to her eyes. And beneath all that anger and darkness was a horrible fear of being alone. All mixed in with a desperate kind of passion. A dark need that went far beyond reason.

The Doctor was tying Rose back to him and he wasn't asking her if that is what she wanted. In the dark place his soul currently dwelled he didn't care.

The Doctor trailed kisses down Rose's neck, her skin burning hot beneath his lips. There was no doubt in her mind that if she asked him to he'd stop. No matter how far he'd fallen if she asked him he'd stop. Even if it broke him to do it. But Rose couldn't bring herself to say it. Not just because her mind was an absolute mess, or because her body was alive in his hands, alive for him. But because he needed her. Needed her so desperately he was prepared to destroy them both in the process. Because if this didn't stop that is what would happen. Anything good that might have been left between them would be torn to shreds. They'd be hurtling down a dark road from which there was no coming back.

Rose should tell him to stop. But she didn't.

She ran her hands up into his hair, clutching the dark strands she yanked his head away from her. She caught his eyes for just a second. They were wild. Wild and lost and broken. And she realised that this was the moment. This was the moment they either salvaged what was left or fell like angels with wings burning from the sky.

They both moved at the exact same time, crashing together and letting go of any hope that might have remained. Rose's lips were already parted as she met his. His tongue stole inside her mouth, robbing her of all conscious thought. Instinct took over as their minds wind together, their thoughts and emotions swirling like as storm. Dark and destructive.

It was all beyond control. Rose barely noticed as her t-shirt was pulled off over her head. But she nearly cried out as she felt his hands against her bare skin, every nerve in her body responding to his touch. Exploding with sensations that were nearly too much to take. He wasn't gentle or careful. He held on to her desperately, terrified of falling, of burning alone. Rose pushed his jacket off his shoulders, needing to feel him beneath her own hands, knowing by now that she wouldn't let him burn alone. She scrambled to undo his bowtie. It took longer because she was unused to it and her hands were shaking. He ended up pushing her hands away and doing it himself, pulling it clear of his collar and tossing it away. Rose's fingers worked rapidly as she undid the buttons on his shirt, her hands stealing in beneath it. He groaned against her lips, moaning her name as though it was a curse. A curse that would be the death of him.

Perhaps she was a curse, Rose thought. A blight on his life. It would certainly had been an easier one had they never met. But the same was true for her. Had she never met him she would have lived out her days in blissful ignorance. Or maybe that restlessness in her bones would never have gone away. Maybe the feeling that there was something else, bigger and brighter out there somewhere would have stayed with her forever and maybe that would have made her miserable in the end.

After all wasn't it, as they said better to burn out than to fade away?

And there was no chance of fading. Not anymore. They were both burning, alive and crackling like flames out of control in the dark. No turning back now. If nothing else the bond demanded they finish this. It would not be gainsaid, no longer denied or repressed. This was who they were, together or apart it made no difference.

Rose kissed her way down his neck and across his chest. Hot, wet kisses that left him begging. He shook off the shirt, discarding it somewhere on the floor. His hands were immediately back, like he was afraid that if he let go for too long she'd slip away. But Rose wasn't going anywhere. She was tragically committed. If he'd burn in the darkness of hell she'd burn with him.

The Doctor clasped her waist tightly in his hands lifting Rose off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt the wall at her back as they practically slammed into it. The sound of something breaking filled Rose's ears as the lamp on her nightstand crashed to the floor. Neither of them bothered with it, couldn't perceive such a thing as remotely important.

The Doctor caught her wrists, holding them tightly against the wall above her head. He kissed his way back to her mouth. He caught her lips, the kiss long and deep as though he was trying to draw her very soul out of her. He rocked his hips against hers and a moan escaped Rose's lips.

They were both falling now. Hard and fast. Tumbling, burning through the air towards the dark abyss below. Every touch of his lips, every breath he stole, she could feel the echo of it inside him. How desperately he needed this, how hopeless and futile reason was at this point. He'd lost that the minute he'd lost Amy and Rory. Especially Amy. The girl who'd waited. The girl who'd held him together after the loss of Rose had torn him apart. He was reclaiming it all now. Taking back what Rose had taken away when she'd left him. But love couldn't be taken. It could only ever be given. Which is why this was going to end in tragedy.

Rose's bones seemed to vibrate inside her as she felt the Doctor everywhere. Around her, against her, within her mind and inside her soul. She couldn't remember a time when she'd been with him like this. There were no restraints, no cation. Just abandonment, dark and desperate. He wind his fingers with hers, clutching her as he buried his face against her neck and Rose arched into him, lost to everything around them. Nothing else existed in that moment. Nothing but their own destruction.

The Doctor's fingers slipped out of hers and he ran them down her bare arms. If he had longer nails they would have tore into her skin. Instead she felt electricity run in their wake, sizzling along her nerves. He ran his hands down her sides and around her waist, up her back. He didn't hesitate as he deftly unclasped her bra and Rose barely had the sense to notice it. He flattened his palm between her shoulder blades, wrapping his arms around her. He held her too him as he spun away and they fell down on the bed next to them.

Falling. Always falling. No stopping. Nothing but each other to hold on to. And as the Doctor moulded his body to Rose's, pressing her down into the mattress and she could feel every inch of him against her she wondered in that moment if this was what dying felt like


	55. Chapter 55 - Shared misery

Chapter 55 - Shared misery

"Rose...?" She felt his hand cover hers and she immediately twitched away. Rose turned on the bed, giving him her back where he was lying next to her. There was a moment of silence before she heard him sigh and she felt the mattress dip as he got up. She heard him rummage around on the floor, probably looking for his clothes.

"You better get dressed," he said. "We should leave." Rose hugged her arms around herself, a desperate bid for comfort where there was none to be had.

"I can't just go," she said.

"Well, you can't stay," the Doctor told her while he got dressed. "Because I'm leaving." Rose swallowed dark, hurtful words that welled up in her throat. She wanted to shout them at him, pour every pain filled thought she'd ever had out of her like bile. Anything to get the soiled darkness out of her chest. The black goo that felt like it ran sluggishly through her veins tainting her from the inside out.

"Well, you can't leave if I stay," she countered.

They were tied together again. Tied together by strings too tight for even time to break. The bond was reestablished, binding their minds and souls like chains to a prison wall. There was no escape for either of them now, he'd made sure of that.

"Is that how it's going to be?" he asked. "Are you going to be difficult?" Rose turned towards him, fire blazing in her eyes.

"Bloody right I'm going to be difficult," Rose spat. "After what you just did..-"

"Don't." He held up a warning hand. He'd managed to get his trousers on and his shirt but hadn't had time to button the shirt all the way up. "I felt you! You wanted it! So don't you dare put all of this on me!" he told her. Rose could feel the shame of what had happened. Feel it reek of him like smoke. He'd used her and she'd let him. But despite all that deep, deep down they had both wanted it. Desperately. She wasn't sure if that made it worse or better in the end.

"I'm not," Rose said, struggling up and glaring at him. "I knew what I was doing."

The Doctor ran frustrating fingers through his hair. The action pulled his shirt up, revealing a perfect piece of bare skin where he'd failed to button it. Rose felt a blush creep up her cheeks and she immediately dropped her head so he wouldn't see it.

"What do you want to do then?" the Doctor asked. "You want to stay here?"

"I didn't say that," Rose said without raising her head.

"Then what?"

"I can't just leave. There are people here that are... important."

"Oh, right," the Doctor scuffed, turning away from her. "The pretty boy. Perfect." Rose's head snapped up at this.

"I'm not the one who just committed bloody adultery," Rose pointed out cruelly. The Doctor spun back towards her with a confused expression.

"Adul-?" he began, stopping. "You mean River?" he asked incredulously.

"Unless there's someone else you've married lately," Rose said. The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair again. He was making quite a mess of it which made Rose think about the man he used to be and that sent a shard of pain and grief through her heart. "Just pointing out the obvious," she said, while he looked as though he might want to throttle her.

"Damn it, Rose!" he barked out, making her jump. "You're so stupid!"

Rose stared at him, anger flaring up in her chest. She hastily tied the sheet around her like a toga and scrambled to her feet on the bed. In a battle always strive for the higher ground.

"What did you just say to me?!" Anger burned as she glared down at him. It was freeing. Feeling that fire instead of the shame. But his anger easily matched hers.

"I'm bonded to you!" he screamed. "Whether that matters to you or not!" He waved his arms angrily in the air as he spoke. "Do you honestly think anything takes precedence over that?!"

"What the hell do I know!" Rose shouted back at him.

"Rose, I can't ever, not ever for as long as I live belong to anyone but you!" He was furious. She could see the fire burning in his eyes. But beneath the fire was hurt. He was hurt that she'd trivialised it. "I married River to save time! That brilliant, infuriating woman would have had it no other way!"

"So what? It meant nothing?!"

"Of course it did!"

"So you love her then?!"

"What?!"

"Are you bloody deaf?!"

"I care about her, yes of course I do. Need I remind you..." the Doctor said, pointing one finger at Rose. "She was actually there for me while you were off doing Rassilon- knows- what with pretty boy!"

Rose snorted at that, folding her arms. The Doctor's chest was rising up and down rapidly with his breathing as he stared at her hard enough to burn a hole through her skull. "Great, you're not even denying it."

"Because it's dumb!" Rose snarled at him.

"That is not an answer," the Doctor pointed out.

"You didn't ask me a question!"

The Doctor didn't ask but suddenly made a grab for her. He managed to get a hold of her wrist before she could get out of his way. He yanked her close. Rose stumbled on the sheet and was forced to catch herself with her hands against his chest.

"I don't care what you two have done," the Doctor growled, the tone of his voice suggesting quite the opposite. "But it ends now. You're mine, do you understand? Mine." Rose tore free from his hold, pushing herself away from him. She had to struggle for a moment to regain her balance on the soft mattress.

"You can't tell me what to do," she informed him. Rose could see his mouth working. He swallowed and swallowed again. She could just imagine what he wanted to shout at her.

"Fine," he ground out after some time. "But I can ask you. Don't. Just don't."

Rose clutched the sheet around her chest and marched off the bed as gracefully as she could.

"I'll do as I damn well please," she told him as she marched past. He grabbed her on the way, spinning her towards him. Sparks shot off along her nerves.

"If you put me through that," he hissed. "I won't account for the consequences." He stared down at her, his eyes darkened like burning bits of coal.

 _Do you understand_? Powerful emotions accompanied the thought that was strong enough to fill her whole head.

"Let go of me," Rose ground out between her teeth.

"Rose," he warned. "Don't put me through that."

"You chose this," Rose reminded him. "Now you live with the consequences." She tore free from his hold. "Cus I sure as hell have to." Rose strode away, going for the bathroom.

"You won't be able to do it, you know," he said after her. Rose reluctantly halted. "You can't be with anyone else. The bond won't let you." Rose turned back around.

"What do you know of it?" she asked, her face hard. "I'm human, remember? The same rules don't apply to me."

Rose watched as all the blood drained out of the Doctor's face. She actually flinched as she felt the pain he suffered at the thought of her with someone else and she regretted what she'd said. They'd been nothing but empty words after all. Of course she wasn't going to do anything with James. He was a friend. And no matter what she'd said she doubted she was anymore capable of being with someone else than the Doctor was. She'd just stupidly wanted to hurt him because he'd hurt her. He'd asked her to sacrifice her soul and she'd done it.

It was a dreadfully dark pit he'd pulled them down into. She couldn't say she didn't understand his choices. She understood all to clearly the desperation that had brought him to her after he'd lost Amy and Rory. He hadn't wanted to face an eternity alone. She understood it but that didn't mean it made her feel any less retched.

Rose turned away. There was nothing to be said about any of it anyway. No lie worth telling, no truth he'd believe.

"I'll just have a chat with him then shall I," the Doctor said, pulling up his suspenders even though he'd not even buttoned his shirt properly yet and headed for the front door. Rose spun on her heal.

"You'll do no such thing!" she told him. James was a good guy and most of all a good friend. Rose wasn't about to let the Doctor accuse him of some made up crime.

"I'll do as I damn well please," he mimicked her, not so much as breaking stride. Rose grabbed the nearest thing, which was the lamp on the desk and hurled it at his head.

He ducked as she probably, rationally knew he would, The lamp slammed into the door and shattered, the pieces raining down on the floor. The Doctor turned on her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he shouted.

"You do not speak to him!" Rose shouted back. "Not one word! Do you hear me?!" She grabbed something else of the many things littering her desk and threw that too. But her aim was wide. He didn't even flinch as it blew past him and hit the wall behind him. There was a shelf next to the door with a few books, a remote for the lights and blinders and a small pot with no flower in it. It had been an ambitious attempt on Rose's part to think she could ever keep a flower alive when she was never there. It had lasted about a week.

The Doctor grabbed the remote and threw that. Rose had to duck. His aim was clearly better than hers. The remote hit the wall and fell in pieces to the floor.

"You bastard." Rose stared at him in disbelief. She grabbed the next thing on the desk but the Doctor moved fast, reaching her before she had a chance to throw it. He clasped her wrist stopping her and wrapped his other arm around her waist pulling her tight against him to hinder her range of motion.

"Let go of it," he warned her. Rose only glared at him, not in the least bit interested to do as he asked. "Rose, let go."

"No!" He bent her wrist at an odd angle until Rose was forced to drop the thing in her hand. She growled in frustration, throwing her whole body weight into him. He wasn't ready for it and stumbled. They both tumbled into a heap on the floor, Rose landing on top of the Doctor. He caught her other wrist and quickly reversed their positions, pinning her beneath him. Rose screamed in frustration as she tried to get free.

Neither of them even noticed the sound of the door sliding opened.

"Rose, are you...?" Whoever had opened the door fell instantly silent. The door was behind Rose so she had to crane her neck to see who it was. James. Of course it was James. They usually met up in the morning and ate breakfast together. Wonderful. "Sorry... I..." he stuttered, clearly not sure what to say or how to interpret the situation. He looked around the room, taking in the destruction.

"Do you mind?" the Doctor asked him unkindly. James blinked and looked at the Doctor only to look back down at Rose.

"It sounded like you were in trouble," he said. "I thought..."

"Doctor, get off me," Rose growled. The Doctor didn't budge.

"Are you going to throw something at me again?" the Doctor wanted to know, still holding her securely pinned beneath him. Rose turned her eyes to his.

"That depends on you," she told him. He regarded her suspiciously, clearly trying to calculate the likelihood of getting another lamp thrown at his head.

"You know, " James interrupted. "It looks like you have this... well in hand," he said, sounding strangely uncomfortable. Rose didn't think she'd ever even seen him uncomfortable. James took every situation that was thrown at him with annoying ease. "Sorry," he mumbled and backed out, the door sliding shut after him. But not before Rose saw the hurt expression in his eyes.

"No, James!" Rose called after him.

"I don't think he's coming back," the Doctor said, leering down at her. Rose turned a furious gaze on him.

"If you're done marking your goddamn territory..." Rose growled. "Do you mind getting the bloody hell of me."

She twisted, pushing the Doctor away. Rose scrambled to her feet, the Doctor rising slowly next to her.

"Rose..."

"You're an ass," Rose told him, storming out of the room. She spotted James down the hall. She ran after him. "James!" she called but he didn't stop. She caught up to him. "James."

He spun, startling her. "What?" he asked. The colour was high on his face, irritation in the set of his mouth.

"James, I..." Rose began.

"Stop," he said, halting her. "You know, I knew." He shook his head. "I always knew he'd be back for you one day." Rose clutched the covers tight around her. Thankfully they were alone in the hallway. So there was none around to witness her rather embarrassing state of undress. No one but James that is. "I just wasn't sure you'd go with him. I guess now I am." He turned to leave.

"Wait," Rose said. "It's not like that."

"No? Then what is it like? Because it seems pretty damn obvious to me." He indicated the sheet around her. Rose folded her arms embarrassingly across her chest. "It's really fine," he said, not exactly sounding as though he thought it was. "We never took this anywhere, if there even was something."

"Of course there was," Rose assured him. She liked him, she did. And if things were different then maybe they could have been something more than friends. But things weren't different. They never would be. She was trapped. Trapped by her own stupid heart. And what a useless organ it was. It brought her nothing but pain in the end.

"Just not enough for you to stay." Rose reached out and took James's hand. She'd always liked the way touching him didn't make her entire body real out of control. It made things easy. Except now it felt wrong.

"James..."

"He's dangerous," he interrupted her. "There's a reason people used to run at the mere mention of his name."

"I know." Rose looked at him sadly.

"Just think about this first," James asked, squeezing her hand. "You know what it was like for you before. Is he really worth all that?"

Rose stepped back but James's hold on her hand halted her. "Please," he said. "No matter what, I care about you. A lot. Rose I..."

"Well isn't this sweet."

Rose froze at the sound of the Doctor's drawl. She pulled her hand guiltily out of James's.

"You should go," she told him.

"And just leave you with him?" he asked.

"You think she's not safe with me?" the Doctor wondered, folding his arms and leaning against the doorjamb, his eyes not on James but on Rose.

"I think there's no place more dangerous for her," James said.

"Then you don't know anything," the Doctor's far too casual tone a clear warning that whatever was behind it, it wasn't good.

"Maybe I know more than you think," James snarled.

"Don't," Rose told him. "Just go, James, please."

"You heard her," the Doctor said. "Off you go."

"Hey!" James barked out. "You don't speak for her!"

"I didn't," the Doctor pointed out with a smile.

"I know what you are!" James told the Doctor harshly. "A menace! You should be in a cell!"

"Well, you're welcome to try and put me in one," the Doctor offered.

"You think I can't?" James stepped by Rose, going for the Doctor. Rose scrambled after him.

"Stop it," she told James, reaching for him but he twisted free. The Doctor didn't move, only smiled like none of them mattered. Like nothing could possibly touch him.

"I suppose you could," the Doctor allowed thoughtfully. Then his lips spread in a grin again. "But do you really think you could keep there? Do you honestly think you're capable of that?"

James's face turned livid. He looked about ready to punch a hole through the wall or possibly the Doctor's face.

"You arrogant piece of crap," James spat. Rose got in between them.

"Enough!" she told James. But James didn't look very interested in heeding her. Rose hadn't known James felt this way about the Doctor. She knew many other's had thought him dangerous and there were those that thought him wonderful. Both were right in the end. "James, look at me," Rose tried, ceasing his face between her palms, forcing him to look at her and not the Doctor.

"He'll be the death of you," James said, desperate to make her understand that.

"I can take care of myself."

"That's not what I mean," James told her, lowering his tone as though he could prevent the Doctor from hearing him. "Red told me. When you came back here. Those first few months. He and Lian, they didn't think you were going to make it."

So that was why James didn't like the Doctor. His brother had told him about what Rose had gone through when she'd come back after leaving him on that beach. Those first few months spent in the cell when it had been nearly impossible for her to keep control. When her whole body had screamed out for what she'd left behind.

Rose's gaze fell from James's, her hands dropping from his face. How could she explain this to him? How would he ever understand? James caught her hands up before she could turn away.

"Stay here," he said. "Don't go with him."

 _Rose_..., she heard the Doctor in her mind. Like a beckoning call. Like those old stories she'd heard as a child. Dark creatures in the woods, luring people away in the night, never to be seen again.

 _Doctor_... She'd answered the call before her conscious mind could react. She tried to real in her thoughts, to keep her emotions her own. _Would you leave us alone for a minute_? she asked him, only half aware she wasn't doing it out loud.

 _No_ , was the reply.

 _Please_.

 _I can't._

 _Please_ , Rose tried again. She glanced back at him. His eyes were hard on hers. She couldn't read his expression, couldn't sense what he was feeling. Ever since the previous night their emotions had been like a raw nerve. Every shift could be felt, every small knick like a deep cut. But now he'd locked them down. Whatever he was feeling he didn't want her to see it. Then suddenly with no warning he turned without a word and disappeared back inside her room.

"He thinks he owns the whole stinking universe," James muttered next to her. Rose turned his attention back to him.

"No, he doesn't," she said with a shake of her head. "Despite of what you think, James." She looked up at him. "You don't know him. You don't know him at all."

Rose pulled her hand out of the other boy's. The boy she'd come to care for. Who'd been by her side when she needed him. Who couldn't understand why she'd chose a life of pain and uncertainty. But in the end nothing was ever really certain. Nothing but this one thing. The Doctor and Rose were as intertwined and inevitable as life and death.

"I know he'll make you miserable," James insisted. "I see the way he looks at you. Like he doesn't even care if it ruins you both. That's not love, Rose."

"James, don't do this," Rose asked of him. She didn't want them to part on bad terms. He'd meant a lot to her. He still did. She didn't want to have to say something that would make him hate her.

"You deserve better."

"It's not about that," Rose said.

"Then what is it about?" James asked. Rose sighed.

"Talk to your brother or Lian, they'll explain it to you."

"What do they have to do with this?"

"It's... " Rose struggled for a moment. She always did when she attempted to explain the bond because no explanation would ever be satisfactory. No words could ever truly capture the sensation of feeling his fingers against her skin, the overwhelming need to be close to him or the urge to let the rest of the world burn if it meant he'd be safe. "It's something more than a simple choice," Rose said. "Far more."

"What does that even mean?"

"Just talk to Lian and Red," Rose told him again, turning away. She got her door opened. She glanced back before she disappeared inside her room.

"Goodbye, James," she said and she left him, because what else could she do now? Her choices had been taken away again only this time she'd actually chosen it herself because she hadn't been able to bear seeing the Doctor in so much pain.

He had said once that the bond destroyed all in its path and that was just one of the reasons it should never be allowed to exist. And he'd been right. It didn't just tear their lives asunder it even hurt the people around them.

Rose walked into her room. It was wrecked. Shattered things littered the floor, her bed was an outright mess, reminding her of all the things she'd rather forget at the moment.

"If you stay with him I'll kill him."

Rose spun at the sound of the dark, familiar voice, finding the Doctor leaning against the wall next to the door. She hadn't seen him as she came in, too distracted by the rest of the mayhem.

"No, you won't," Rose told him sharply. "You're not a killer." He laughed at that. A broken twisted sound. He pushed away from the wall, walking towards her causally. The quiet ease of his movements so at odds with the almost frenzied motion she'd come to associate with this regeneration. It scared her a little when he became this still. It meant she wasn't speaking to the Doctor but the Time Lord, the Predator. The man who held all of time at the tips of his fingers with the power to use it on a mere whim should he wish to.

"I've killed millions," he reminded her. "Millions who I've loved. Imagine what I'd do to someone I hate."

The darkness in his voice made her both angry and scared. This is what she'd been afraid of when she'd left. What he'd become if he didn't have someone with him. But he'd had someone with him. He'd had Amy and Rory. They'd done him good, she knew they had. But it seemed in his grief stricken mind he'd forgotten all that.

"You think Amy would have liked to see you like this," Rose told him, holding her ground. "Or Rory, or River?"

"They've seen me do far worse," he said.

"No, they haven't," Rose said sharply. "You were good with them. I know you were."

"Not at first," the Doctor said with a mocking grin. "Kept having these horrible nightmares about you. That you were burning, dying and I couldn't do anything. You didn't want me to do anything. You'd rather die than let me help you. So I stopped sleeping. Think I went a little mad there for a while."

Rose swallowed hard, afraid to ask. But she did, because Rose was nothing if not brave. "What did you do?"

The Doctor shook his shoulders casually as though it was no big thing. "I didn't stop," he said. Rose blanched. That is exactly what she'd told Amy to ensure. She'd told Amy she had to stay with the Doctor because sometimes he needed someone to stop him.

"Amy..." Rose began.

"Amy's dead," the Doctor said and even though his voice was hard Rose could see the barest crack in his eyes. The pain that reminder brought.

"Her memory isn't," Rose told him. "And she wouldn't want you to become something you're not."

The Doctor watched her for a moment and Rose almost thought the words would take effect. But dragging him out of the dark pit he'd hurled himself into wasn't going to be that easy. He'd drag her down with him first.

"What about you, Rose?" the Doctor asked. "My Rose who are no longer mine. What do you want?"

"Doctor..."

"That boy?" the Doctor nodded his head towards the door as he stalked towards her. "You want him?" He lashed out, getting a hold of Rose's wrist and yanking her close. Rose felt his breath against her face, her nerves sparking off from where he touched her. "Well, you can't have him," he hissed. "If I can't have what I want than neither can you." He smiled, a cruel and sad twist of his lips. "We'll just have to be miserable together."

"Til the end of time?" Rose asked, her eyes hard on his. "Is that your big plan? Was that why you came to me?"

"I'd rather be miserable with you than without you," he pointed out.

"You're an idiot," Rose told him. "Now, let go of me."

"Why?" he asked, his eyes tracing her face.

"Because I said so," Rose growled and tore her wrist free. The hum in her veins eased down.

Rose clutched the covers around her chest. She would very much like to get dressed. But at least the Doctor wasn't all that much better off. His shirt was still half unbuttoned, his hair a mess. As he looked at her she saw that same mixture of emotions that she'd been unable to identify before flash in his eyes. And first now did she think she understood them. He'd worn them before after all. It was a soldier's look. When the horrible realities of war threatened to break you and you sought that one last and final horrendous act that would allow you to plummet into a void without empathy or conscience. Where you could no longer feel a thing. She'd seen it last night and not for the first time. More than once it seemed the Doctor needed to be pulled back from the brink. Perhaps that's what immortality did to you. The Doctor wasn't immortal but he was close enough. She'd heard him say long ago that he sometimes thought Time Lords lived too long. Perhaps he was right.

What the Doctor had done the night before hadn't after all only been a desperate attempt to prevent facing the rest of his life alone. It was equally an attempt to burn out the good in him. Because without that he wouldn't be able to feel all the loss he'd suffered. That's what living too long did to you. Eventually it made you numb to all the things that truly made life worth living. The good and the bad. Would this happen to Rose too? Would she stand on that precipice? And would she jump?

Rose tore her gaze away from his and strode past him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To get cleaned up, if you don't mind," Rose threw back over her shoulder as she made her way over to the closet that was cleverly concealed within the wall to save space. She touched an area next to it and the door popped opened. She got a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt with some retro space print on in and left for the bathroom without looking back.

Rose took a long shower because she needed it. She needed time alone, away from him. She got dressed without any rush, took time and blow dried her hair, spending more time on her makeup than she had in years. But eventually a knock on the door brought her back to the harsh reality that was her life.

She had no idea where this was going anymore. She'd left him to save him and she believed she had. If she'd been there River wouldn't have fallen in love with him because he never would have given her the time of day. And if she hadn't loved him she wouldn't have tried so hard to save him. But now? What now?

"Are you alive in there?" the Doctor asked from the other side of the door.

"Just a second," Rose said, clasping the edge of the sink and taking a few deep breaths.

"Nothing you can do in there could possibly take this long," the Doctor pointed out.

"Just give me a bloody second!" Rose shouted. She heard him mutter something inaudible before he stomped off. It didn't take long until she surprisingly heard the sound of the TARDIS leaving. She felt a pang inside her chest that she quickly suppressed.

A sudden wind blew her hair into her face. Rose twirled around just to see the huge TARDIS materialising in her very small bathroom. It bent the shower head out of shape and knocked the shelves with her shampoo and such to the floor. Rose's hair blew back as she glared at the blue box that couldn't fit in the room but still somehow did. The familiar sound wound down and the Doctor popped his head out of the door.

"Are you coming?" he asked. She could see he was fully dressed now. He'd gotten a dark waistcoat on over his shirt and instead of the tweed jacket he wore a knee length coat. He still wore the boots and had not given up the bowtie. Not that she'd expected he would. He seemed as attached to it as his previous regeneration had been of his long coat.

"How did you do that?" Rose wanted to know. "You're terrible at precision driving." The Doctor snorted at that.

"I'm not terrible at anything," he said. "Now, get in." But Rose shook her head.

"I can't. Not yet. I-"

"Get in the ship, Rose Tyler," he interrupted her.

"I said, I can't."

"And I heard you, and I don't care," the Doctor told her.

"There are things I need to do here."

"I told you, you can't...-"

"I'm not talking about James," Rose interrupted him impatiently. The Doctor snorted at that.

"Yeah right."

"Stop being such a damn fool!" Rose barked. "You're like dog with a bone. If you'd bother to check what I was feeling instead of simply wallowing in your own pain you would have known I don't feel that way about him."

The Doctor seemed stumped. He shifted his weight, folding his arms across his chest only to unfold them and then back again.

"You don't?" he asked. Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"Why didn't you simply check?" she wondered. He laughed mockingly at that.

"Yeah, cus I'd like to actually feel how little I matter to you," he said. "That's a great idea."

"I've never said you don't matter," Rose pointed out.

"No, just that I don't matter as much as I did and not nearly enough."

"Oh, just stop it," she told him.

"Get in the TARDIS and I will."

"You're not getting me in there," Rose said. "I've got things to do."

"So do I!"

"Like what?"

"Important, world saving things."

"Then go do them."

Rose turned on her heal to stalk out but the Doctor quickly got in her way.

"Get in the TARDIS, "

"No!"

"Strange, feels like we've done this once already."

"Get out of my way," Rose said.

"Get in the ship."

"No." Rose folded arms across her chest. The Doctor gave her a glare and then he bent down and picked her up off the floor, practically tossing her over his shoulder. Rose was so startled she yelped. "What the hell are you doing?!"

She twisted, getting her arm around his throat. He stumbled as she shifted her weight. They fell against he TARDIS, Rose wincing as the handle dug into her back. Rose pushed the Doctor off her with some difficulty, slipping past him and rushing toward the bathroom door. But the Doctor looped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him.

"Let go of me!" Rose growled.

"Stop being ridiculous," the Doctor panted in her ear as he dragged her back towards the TARDIS kicking and screaming.

He stumbled with her into the ship turning and tossing her inside. He pulled the door shut just as Rose flew at him, trying to get past. He caught her and pushed her back again. Rose growled in frustration.

She'd had training at Torchwood. Hand to hand combat. She'd become fairly good at it and since she didn't like carrying a gun it had even saved her life on occasion. But for some reason the few times she got in a fight with the Doctor like this she was reversed to a four year olds strategy of pushing and pinching. The Doctor locked the door behind him with the sonic just as Rose came at him again. She pushed him out of the way and yanked on the door. It wouldn't open. She tried flipping the lock but it wouldn't budge. She twirled back towards the Doctor ready to tear his head off.

He was at the console. Rose barely even noticed the new sleek interior. But it was more futuristic. More metal. More Spock. She stomped over to the console not really paying attention to the fact that the stairs were gone. It was a straight shot to the centre from the door now. The console itself was very different. More put together and even more efficient looking. If Rose hadn't been so angry she might have gotten a touch sad about it. It was so far from the old one she knew. However marvellous it was now, if she'd taking the time she would have missed the way it was.

But even though the console was different the operating system was the same. And she knew that system. She walked over and flipped a couple of switches. The ship yanked suddenly as though it was pulled to a sudden stop. The Doctor's head appeared behind the time rotor.

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" Rose pulled a lever and the ship hurled forwards. Both of them clutched the edge of the console to stay on their feet.

"Stop it!" The Doctor moved around, pushing buttons to undo what she'd done. They were yanked to a stop again. Rose ran around the console, reaching over and pulling another lever. And the ship suddenly moved again only to stop and change direction as the Doctor rushed after her pushing buttons as he went. "Cut it out!" the Doctor told her.

But she didn't. Rose did everything she could to thwart him and he did everything to stop her.

"Not so much fun is it!?" Rose called to him as they both scrambled around.

"You are going to get us both killed!" the Doctor shouted at her. Lights had begun flashing all around the room, some kind of warning signal sounded from somewhere. "Rose, stop it!"

"You, stop it!" she told him.

"This isn't funny!"

"Agreed!"

The TARDIS shook violently, knocking both Rose and the Doctor off their feet. The Doctor growled in frustration as he rubbed at his head. Rose scrambled to get back up but the TARDIS shook again. It tossed them both about as it hurled uncontrollably through the vortex. Warning lights were flashing, alarms blaring. The Doctor clung to the console, grabbing the monitor.

"The engines are going to blow!" he screamed over the noise. Rose crawled over the floor to get back to the console.

"Now, look what you've done," she told him. He gave her a glare which she easily matched.

"We got to stabilise the engines," the Doctor barked at her.

"Take me back!" Rose said.

"We are going to get blown up!"

"Take me back!"

"Fine!" he shouted. "If we don't blow up we'll go back! Happy?!"

Rose used the console to pull herself up. She reached across it, pressing a couple of buttons to reduce the speed. The Doctor scrambled around.

"Too late for that," he said. "We got to put her down."

"Down where?"

"Anywhere."

They both hurried around, the Doctor occasionally shouting out instructions. The ship shook, rushing forwards as they both fought to land her.

"Breaks!" the Doctor shouted, pointing to two levers. Rose rushed over.

"You have breaks?" she asked as she pulled them simultaneously.

"I don't like to use them," the Doctor admitted with a grunt. Rose felt it as they were suddenly tossed out of the vortex. They hurled through the air, both Rose and the Doctor holding on for dear life.

"We're gonna crash!" the Doctor screamed, an actual hint of excitement in his voice which made Rose want to hit him over the head. "Geronimo!"

They hit the ground hard. Really hard. Rose lost her grip, flying across the way and landing badly on her shoulder.

She rolled over onto her back, lying there for a moment and staring up at the ceiling. There was a balcony all around the room she noticed and Circular Gallifreyan on big revolving rings where the time rotor met the ceiling.

"Rose?" The Doctor suddenly appeared above her. "Are you alright?" She pushed his hands away.

"Get off me," she told him. He moved back as Rose sat up. She experimentally moved her shoulder. It seemed ok. A little sore

"Where did we land?" she asked.

"Crashed," the Doctor corrected. "And I'm not sure." He got up and hurried over to the doors, unlocking them and pushing them opened. "Oh, we're fine," he said.

"We are?" Rose asked, getting up.

"Yeah, we're in the country," the Doctor said. "It's all quite pretty." Rose joined him, peaking out over his shoulder. All she saw were fields in every direction. It looked like Earth but she supposed they could be anywhere. She left him and went back to the console, checking the monitor as she rubbed at her sore shoulder. Yup, definitely Earth, she concluded. "Want to go for a picnic?" the Doctor asked, turning around and almost smiling at her.

She supposed that hadn't changed at all. Crashing or nearly getting blown up still managed to put a smile on his face.

"You are taking me back," Rose said, checking the readouts on the screen to see how badly they'd damaged the TARDIS. She seemed ok. _Sorry_ , Rose thought to the ship and felt a bit of a snap in return. Like being scolded.

"Oh, come on," the Doctor said, walking back inside. "They'll all still be there."

"You promised," Rose reminded him, turning a few dials to see if she could get some life back in the ship and get them going.

Suddenly some metallic noise vibrated through the hull and the TARDIS shook a little. Rose looked around suspiciously.

"What was that?" she asked. She turned to the Doctor who was staring up at the ceiling.

"No idea," he said. Then everything moved, like they were suddenly off the ground. The Doctor rushed over to Rose's side, checking the screen. "We're taking off," he said. "But the engines aren't running."

"What?" Rose asked. "How's that even possible. The Doctor ran back to the doors, Rose hot on his heels.

"Eh, guess that's how," he said, pointing up as he leaned out. Rose squeezed out next to him. They were already high off the ground. She heard the sound of the helicopters rotor blades before she saw it flying above them, carrying the TARDIS with it through the air.

"Blimey," she said, staring up at it. "Who'd be crazy enough to do this?" The Doctor looked over at her.

"I know someone who might," he said. "Maybe even a couple."

"Of course you do." Rose rolled her eyes.

"I'll just give them a ring," the Doctor pointed towards the phone in the small box on the outside of the TARDIS.

"You do that," Rose said, stepping back inside. The Doctor glanced back at her over his shoulder.

"You sound as though you think this is my fault," he said.

"It undoubtedly is."

"Is not!" he said, sounding affronted. Rose did not look convinced. "I'll prove it."

The Doctor leaned back out dialling someone up on the phone that apparently worked now.

"No kidding!" he shouted into the receiver. "Yeah, just we can do that later. I need you to talk to someone." The Doctor handed the phone over to Rose. She reluctantly walked over and took it.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is...-

"Kate?" Rose interrupted.

"Who's this?" the other woman asked across the line. Rose turned a bit away from the Doctor who was suddenly watching her intently.

"It's Rose," Rose said. "Rose Tyler."

"Miss Tyler!" Kate exclaimed with delight. "Wait. You're back with the Doctor?" Kate asked.

"No," Rose said immediately. "I mean, yes. No, I mean." She took a breath. "What are you doing?" Rose asked instead.

"We need him," Kate Stewart said. "We're taking you directly to the scene."

"What scene?"

"London, the National Gallery."


	56. Chapter 56 - The day

**Hi!**

 **I'm so sorry this took so very long to post. The site hasn't let me upload any documents. All I've gotten is a blank page whenever I've tried. I don't know why. I had to use an old laptop to finally manage it. But since it took so long I thought you could get an extra long chapter instead! :) I hope you like it!**

Chapter 56 - The day

"Next time would it kill you to knock!" The Doctor shouted into the TARDIS phone. The one in the small box on the outside. He shouted into the receiver while he hung out of the door, his upper body dangling in the air while Rose hung on to his legs. "I don't like being picked up!" he pointed out to Kate Stewart on the other end of the line.

"Doctor!" Rose called over the rush of wind and the sound of the helicopters rotor blades.

"What?" he asked, holding himself up so he could see her.

"You're slipping!" Rose told him, desperately holding on to his legs as she felt her grip failing.

"Don't drop me!"

"I don't intend to!" she told him. "However tempting it is!"

Rose saw the familiar city below them. The same one she'd grown up in. It had shaped and moulded her. The busy streets and the people that always seemed to be heading somewhere. It was only in the wee hours of the night that it slowed down. It didn't stop. No, London never stopped but it slowed right before dawn. Traffic got sparse, the few people who might be about talked a little lower as the new day slowly brewed. It was like the city took a breath before it all started up again.

"I'm going to have to put you on hold!" the Doctor shouted into the phone. Rose's grip on his legs slipped and for the blink of a second she thought he was falling. It was a horrible second. But thankfully it didn't last as he somehow managed to grab a hold of the TARDIS underbelly, hanging from his arms, and dangling with his legs high up in the air as they passed over the Parliament and London eye. "Rose!" he screamed where he hung.

"If you fall I'm not cleaning it up," she called down to him.

"I hadn't intended to fall!" he barked back at her. She watched as they flew over the city, the pale light of day washing most of the colour out, covering everything in a light grey mist.

The Doctor was still screaming like a baby.

"Oh, you're fine!" Rose told him, getting a non pleased squeal in return. "You're fine, right?"

"Fine is not the word I would use!"

He was ok Rose thought looking up and seeing Trafalgar Square come into view. She abandoned the squealing Doctor, thinking to go find her room if it still existed and get a jacket. The London air was chilly. But she only had a chance to turn around to find a grey jacket hanging on the railing next to her. _Thanks_ , Rose thought to the ship. Though in the back of her mind she wondered if perhaps the TARDIS had provided her with the jacket because there wasn't much left of her room and her things. She understood if the Doctor had destroyed it after all.

Rose drew the jacket on and returned to the opened doors. Wind whipped her hair out of her face as she saw they were descending on Trafalgar. The Doctor let go as they neared the ground, landing on his feet. The helicopter set the TARDIS down neatly next to him. Rose peaked out of the door. They were right in front of the Nelson column at the centre of the square. Rose and her friends had climbed onto the four big lions surrounding it once. She remembered Mickey had helped her up but hadn't dared to climb up himself. And then he'd continuously begged her to come back down. Rose smiled at the memory as she stepped out of the TARDIS. Thinking of Mickey could still make her sad and sometimes even horribly guilty but she still chose to be thankful for the time she got to have with him.

"Rose," the Doctor called. She sighed and turned around. He was with Kate Stewart, a group of UNIT operatives standing at the ready behind them.

"What?" she asked.

"We... gotta..." he pointed awkwardly towards the National Gallery. She walked over to them.

"Miss Tyler," Kate gave her a nod of her head.

"Kate."

"Ok, stop excluding me," the Doctor said. "How do you know each other? And how come none of you ever told me?" Kate caught Rose's eye, letting her know she'd take her cue.

"Kate helped me out," Rose said with a shrug.

"With what?"the Doctor wanted to know.

"You."

Rose walked past them heading for the Gallery, while the Doctor just stared after her.

"Are we going or what?" she asked them over her shoulder.

"Right, yes." The Doctor scrambled to follow, Kate shaking her head and smiling.

Kate took them down into the parts of the Gallery not visited by tourists. She told them about Elizabeth I and some credentials she'd left for the Doctor. He seemed about as clueless as Rose as to what all that meant.

"This is it," Kate said as they stopped in front of, what looked like a big painting covered over with a large white sheet.

"What's, it?" the Doctor asked.

"Elizabeth's credentials," Kate explained as she gave a signal to two men in UNIT gear who unceremoniously whipped the sheet of the painting.

The crude white linen revealed one of the most marvellous paintings Rose had ever seen. Mostly because the thing was in three dimensional which should be impossible. The painting depicted a great battle. An alien city lost in smoke and flames. It was beautiful and horrifying all at once and as Rose stared at it she realised she had seen this before. A long time ago, sitting in her room in that parallel world when the bond was new and the Doctor was different. He'd tried to teach her to control the energy pulsing through her veins and she'd seen a glimpse of his past. She'd seen his world burning, the fires of war tearing his home apart. She'd seen this.

"No more," the Doctor said next to her, his voice dark and levelled.

"That is the title, yes," Kate confirmed.

"I know the title." One who did not know the Doctor might have thought he was angry but Rose knew him well enough to know his hard tone didn't hide anger, it hid pain.

"Also known as Gallifrey falls," Kate said, almost casually as though she was unaware of how it effected him.

"The fall of Arcadia," the Doctor specified. "Gallifrey's second city. The final stand."

Rose reached out and took the Doctor's hand. For just right now pushing away all the reasons she was mad at him, all the darkness swirling deep inside her over what they'd done. What he'd asked of her. She had done it and she'd do it again but it had still been too much. It had tainted them and she knew they would never be alright again. Not really. They were broken now.

Rage and hurt and a horribly twisted guilt accompanied the familiar tingle running from the point where they touched and through her blood. Rose wound her fingers through his stiff ones.

 _You are not alone_ , she told him across the bond. _I'm here_. She always would be. No matter what.

The Doctor didn't answer but his fingers tightened around hers.

"It's not supposed to be here," he told Kate, tearing his eyes away from the oil painting that was far more than a painting to him. "It's out of its time. Out of place."

"Elizabeth told us where to find it and its significance," Kate said.

"It's from your people isn't it?" Rose asked.

"Time Lord art," the Doctor confirmed.

"Bigger on the inside," Rose realised.

"A sliver of real time, frozen."

"It makes me want to cry," Rose said. Though it wasn't just the painting. She'd felt the horror when she'd seen those images in the Doctor's mind. She'd felt his pain at watching that city burn. It was tangible to her. Not just a painting, but a memory.

"Don't do that," the Doctor said. "You know I can't bear it when you do that." His tone was almost flippant and she knew he was trying to lighten the mood like he so often did. Easier to take it with a smile and not let anyone see it hurt.

Something in the painting caught Rose's eye. She took a step forwards to better see, but the Doctor pulled her back.

"Don't," he said. She turned back at him in surprise.

"Why?"

"Because he was there," he said. Rose frowned, not sure what he was talking about.

"Who was?"

"Me, the other me, the one I don't talk about. The one I never want you to see. I've done some horrible things in my days and a lot of them to you but that's different. That's..."

"Doctor..."

"That's the day he did it," the Doctor continued. "The day I did it. The last day of the Time war."

Comprehension fell over Rose's face. It was the day he ended it all. After that day is when she'd first met him, when he'd been steeped in the blood and guilt of battle.

"But the Time War is over," Rose told Kate. "Why would you show us this now?" Kate handed an old letter, sealed with wax to the Doctor. Mutely he took it.

"The painting is just Elizabeth's way of proving that this letter is from her," Kate explained. "It is not why you're here."

The Doctor reluctantly slipped his hand out of Rose's. He broke the seal and unfolded the letter. He skimmed through it quickly.

"What's happened then?" he asked as he finished, looking up at Kate.

"Easier if I just show you," Kate said, turning and leading the way out of the room. The Doctor reclaimed Rose's hand and she let him. Despite of what they were going through he didn't deserve to face this alone.

"What did it say?" Rose asked him as they followed after Kate. The Doctor crumpled the letter into a small ball as though the very words on it had somehow offended him.

"Trouble," he said. "Something's happened and she's asking for my help."

"So you knew her then?" Rose asked. They made their way down, deeper into the hidden parts of the Gallery.

"A long time ago," he said, sounding a tad uncomfortable and a bit uncertain which made Rose a tad suspicious.

She reached over and snatched the letter out of his hand.

"Rose, don't," he said, trying to stop her but it was too late. Rose unfolded the piece of crumpled paper. Her eyes caught on one simple word. Husband. She looked back up at the Doctor.

"How long ago?" she asked.

"Rose..."

"How long?"

"Are you two coming?" Kate interrupted them. Rose turned towards her and behind her she saw something that she was sure froze the heart in her chest. It was a painting. Not like the one of Gallifrey. No, this one was quite ordinary. The kind she'd seen a hundred times in history books or even in the Portrait Gallery above. The only difference was this painting was of the Doctor. Her old Doctor. As he'd been before. As he'd been when he'd created the bond. When he'd told her vows that promised himself to her for all of time. Through every life he'd ever live or ever had lived. Only here he was painted in period dress next to Elizabeth I.

The letter slipped out of Rose's fingers. She was being silly, she told herself. Of course River hadn't been the only one. He'd lived for a long time. There had to have been others. She was even sure several of them had been queens. It would make sense. She knew this. It shouldn't hurt her. But it did anyway. Her mind might be capable of being rational but her heart wasn't.

"I'm pretty sure that's not what you think," the Doctor said.

"Of course it isn't," Rose agreed, hoping the sarcasm was enough to hide the sting. She swallowed hard, shaking her head as though that could somehow allow her to shake the feeling. It didn't. "Let's just go." She moved past him.

"Whenever this happened...," he said after her. "You weren't even there." Rose didn't stop and she didn't answer. "So now you care?" Rose headed towards Kate as the big painting of the Doctor and Queen Elizabeth swung opened like a door. "Because I had that face right? Suddenly you care." Rose stopped right at the entrance. She took a deep breath. She felt Kate watching her. Rose raised her gaze and met Kate's. She forced a smile but she could tell by Kate's expression that it was a pitiful one. Rose turned slowly back towards the Doctor.

"It doesn't matter," she told him. "Ok? You can marry every girl from here to Clom if you like. What you do 'when I'm not there' as you say, has nothing to do with me. At all. Alright?"

"Right."

She turned away and didn't look at Kate as she walked past her through the doorway. But she could practically feel the sadness coming off her. Even if the Doctor didn't notice the hurt Rose tried so hard to hide Kate had. Kate followed Rose inside thankfully not mentioning anything about it and the Doctor soon joined them.

They walked down into a corridor, statues covered with white sheets at the sides and for some reason dust covered the floor. The Doctor stopped, hunkering down. He took a handful of the white-ish powder and let it run through his fingers. Rose and Kate stopped to see what he was doing.

"Doctor?" Kate asked.

"Stone dust," the Doctor said.

"Is that important?"

"Never stepped in anything that wasn't," the Doctor said thoughtfully. He called a girl who was behind them, dressed in a lab coat and a rather brilliant multicoloured scarf. He asked her to please get the dust analysed though he used far more words than that. The girl assured him it would with a nod of her head and dreamy expression in her eyes.

They continued down the corridor stepping into another room. It was filled with paintings on the walls and objects contained in glass cases. Kate was telling them about the Under Gallery and how Queen Elizabeth had ordered all things too dangerous for the public to be stored there. Rose noticed the Doctor had stopped again so she turned to see what he was doing. She found him retrieving a fez out one of the glass cases and proudly putting it on his head.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Rose asked. He looked over at her.

"I wear a fez now," he said. "Fez's are cool."

"Trading it for the bowtie?" Rose wondered. The Doctor reached up and straightened the aforementioned garment.

"Never," he vowed.

Kate led them into a room with three desert landscape paintings on the walls and broken glass on the floor. The Doctor rather quickly concluded the glass had been broken from inside the paintings and Kate confirmed that there were things missing from them. Lot's of things. Figures that had simply vanished.

"But nothing's here that shouldn't be. Everything is accounted for," Kate told them. Rose could practically see the cogs inside the Doctor's mind working to puzzle it out.

"Well, something got out," Rose said, looking around the room.

"Something dangerous," the Doctor muttered.

Suddenly the air inside the room seemed to shift. Both Rose and the Doctor turned at the exact same moment sensing what Kate obviously couldn't. Air and light began swirling in front of them out of nowhere. It swirled and swirled until it turned into a vortex. The minute it did Rose felt a strange tug, deep inside her belly.

"Oh, I think I remember this," the Doctor was saying. He took of the fez and tossed it into the vortex. He turned back to Rose, grinning. She could tell he was about to say something but whatever it was it died on his lips. "Rose...? What are you doing?" She followed his gaze, looking down at her hands. Golden light moved beneath her skin. "Rose, stop it." She looked back up at the Doctor with a hint of terror in her eyes.

"It's not me," she said. "I'm not doing it." She held up her hands in front of her face just as the light broke them up into glowing golding particles. Like dust motes. Rose stared in fear and amazement. It didn't hurt. It just felt... strange.

"Rose!" There was panic in the Doctor's voice as Rose could feel her whole body dissolving.

It didn't feel as when she lost control. This wasn't her. Whatever was happening she wasn't doing it. She looked up at the Doctor just as the world went dark. There was nothing left for her to see. She was nothing but dust.

"Rose!" the Doctor screamed. "No! You give her back to me!" His voice was like thunder, echoing in the room. "Give her back!"

Even though Rose didn't have form anymore she felt it as she was pulled away from the Doctor. She could perceive the pain of the separation. The bond was calling her back. But only his desperate, panicked scream followed her as she vanished.

Only she didn't vanish. She was pulled onwards, yanked out of time and space and then suddenly slammed back into existence.

Rose looked around at the crude barn in surprise. Sand covered the ground and she seemed to be sitting on a small box. She looked down at her hands just as the light disappeared beneath her skin. A man was at the door of the barn with his back to her. There was something strangely familiar about him. He turned suddenly, startling her. She didn't know his face. His hair and beard was grey, his leather jacket worn but there was still something powerful and present about him. Though he looked old he didn't appear at all weak or feeble but rather tired. Like he'd seen too much. Endured too much.

"What are you doing?" he asked, sounding truly vexed with her. Rose had no good answer for that. She had no clue what was going on. A moment ago she'd been with the Doctor in the National Gallery and the next thing she knew she turned into dust and was somehow resembled here. In a barn, in the middle of nowhere with a man she didn't know. "Get off that," the man said, taking a hold of her arm and pulling her gently to her feet. "It's not safe." He urged her out of the barn and Rose went, too surprised and confused to argue. Only the minute she was outside she was suddenly inside again, right next to that box.

It was a beautiful thing, gold- like swirling patterns all along its sides. The patterns were familiar enough that Rose recognised it as Circular Gallifreyan but not enough for her to understand the words. It looked old and valuable and dangerous. Something told Rose it was very dangerous.

"How did you do that?" the man asked as he stared at her in amazement.

"I don't know," Rose answered, looking around in bewilderment.

The man stepped closer to her, inching carefully nearer.

"Who are you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at her. "Do I know you?"

"I'm..." Rose began but fell silent. She stared at the man. Stared into those eyes she didn't know and realised she did know him. She would always know him. No matter what his face looked like her soul knew his. Unconsciously she reached out her hand.

"Doctor?" she asked as she touched his cheek with just the tips of her fingers. A spark ignited between them and he instantly drew back.

"What was that?" he asked as he stared at her with near terror. The bond had reacted but he didn't know what it was. Rose withdrew her hand, her mind a scramble. This was the Doctor but never as she'd known him.

"Is this later or before?" she asked him. He stared at her as though she was mad or a ghost or the very devil sprung out of hell. Rose drew a little closer and he immediately pulled back. He looked hard. She was tempted to say, battle worn. Rose imagined it took a lot for him to back up.

"Who are you?" he asked again. "How do you know me?" Rose narrowed her eyes on him.

"You're young," she said. That surprised him.

"I have many hundred years on you, child," he said.

"Not as many as you might think," Rose told him.

"What are you doing here?" he wanted to know. "You shouldn't be here, whoever you are. It's not safe." Rose looked back at the clockwork- like box.

"I'm..." She trailed off again. "The box brought me," she said. "But it's not a box."

"It's not a chair either," the Doctor pointed out as Rose had previously been sitting on it. "But that didn't stop you did it?"

"It's a weapon," Rose concluded, ignoring his flippancy. She hunkered down next to the box and ran her hands over it. Gears shifted inside it as though responding to her touch.

The Doctor moved to stop her but Rose immediately looked up at him and instantly felt the power of the vortex swirling in her eyes. He halted. Rose pushed the energy back down, not sure why it had burned to life so suddenly. Perhaps the weapon she was, recognised the weapon in front of her. Kindred spirits.

"I'm here because... I'm a voice," Rose said, thoughtfully. It was as though the box was speaking to her but not with words. She wasn't sure how it was communicating. Rose just seemed to know what it wanted.

"A voice?"

"This is the day," she said. "Isn't it?" She glanced up at the Doctor, her eyes filled with sudden sorrow for him. She knew what this day would do to him after all.

"What day?" he asked.

"You're at war," Rose said. "I can see it in your eyes."

"Yes, I'm at war," he admitted carefully as he watched Rose with suspicion. "A greater one than you could ever fathom, young lady."

"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea," Rose told him.

"And how is that exactly?"

Rose took a couple of steps towards him and this time he didn't back up. He held his ground. He was a general after all. He'd seen more death and horror than any one person deserved to see in a lifetime.

"That's not just a weapon," Rose said, pointing at the box. "It's a Galaxy eater." Rose looked at the box. "It's alive. In a sense. I wonder how you created it. Did the living thing come first or did the weapon?"

"You speak in riddles and I have no time for riddles," the Doctor told her impatiently. Rose looked back at him.

"It brought me here because though it doesn't have a voice you'll understand. I do and it needs to be heard," Rose said. "If you use it to end it all there will be a cost."

"I don't plan on surviving this," the Doctor told her, his voice filled with a weary kind of sadness.

"Then I am sorry but that will be your punishment," Rose said. It wasn't her choice. She was just a conduit. She'd been plucked out of time to ensure the Doctor knew what he was doing in using this moment. That he felt the weight of it. The box didn't want to be used. "You will survive," Rose said sadly. She couldn't believe she was somehow going to be a part of this. How could he ever have looked at her and not seen all those people dying? "While the rest of them burn. And not just the Daleks and the Time Lords but the children too." A single tear trailed down her cheek at the thought of it. "How many children on Gallifrey right now?" Rose asked, realising she was asking what the box wanted asked.

"I don't know," the Doctor answered. Rose could tell by the look in his eye that this wasn't a hasty decision. He'd thought about this. He was convinced he was using the last course of action open to him.

"One day you will," Rose said. "One day you will count them all."

"Time is burning," the Doctor said, shaking his head. "The universe is being torn apart. I have to end it or there will be no future for anyone. No children left anywhere."

"And I'll have to watch you do it." Rose realised that was the second part of his punishment. He was going to have to do this while she watched. He wouldn't know the significance of it yet but one day he would.

"And who are you then?" he demanded to know this time, his voice getting hard. "You said the box brought you here. Why? Why you? Who are you to me or it?"

Now Rose was the one drawing back. She brushed the single tear away. She couldn't very well tell this... War- Doctor that one day he'd love her. One day one of the worst things he could imagine was having her see the man he'd been when he'd destroyed everything he knew.

"Cat got your tongue, girl?"

"I'm just... someone you'll know," Rose said evasively.

"Oh, you have to be far more than that," the Doctor said, regarding her. Rose glanced up at him and was stunned at the look in his eyes. It was far too familiar for someone who claimed not to know her. Could he know her? The bond had reacted. The Doctor, her Doctor had told her once that creating the bond created a fixed point in time. She knew the truth of that well enough. And an event like that sent ripples through time. Could he feel those ripples?

The Doctor shook his head as though he'd been in some kind of trance.

"That thing can't just bring people through time," he said. "You must have some connection to it." He drew away as though distance was enough to clear the unnerving feeling he obviously felt at possibly having recognised someone he'd never met.

"I do," Rose said, glancing down at the box again, deciding not to push the issue. She could feel it. Feel the power inside the box. It was a mirror of the energy pulsing inside her. But how?

"Yes?" the Doctor prompted, clearly expecting her to elaborate but she couldn't. She didn't know how she could have anything in common with a sentient weapon.

"I don't know," Rose said. "I honestly don't know."

"But you're interfacing with it?" the Doctor asked. "You hear it... speak?" he sounded very sceptical.

"Not really," Rose allowed. "I can't explain it. I just know what she wants."

"She?" The Doctor caught at her surprising word use. "It is a she?"

Rose thought about it for a moment. She wasn't sure why she'd suddenly said that but at the same time she was sure it was true. She nodded. Moment. The Moment. That is what the ancients of Gallifrey had named her. Because a moment is all it took.

"She wants you to be sure," Rose said as she looked at the box. "Because the price is high." Rose looked back up at the Doctor. "Not only for you but for her too."

"How so?"

Rose took a deep breath. "If you use her to destroy them all she'll feel every last one of them as they die. But however great her suffering will be over in that instant while yours will only just have begun. You're still the one that has to live with it."

The Doctor watched Rose wearily for a moment and then sighed as though in defeat.

"I fear there is nothing else to be done," he said and Rose could hear the immeasurable sadness in his voice. It was an impossible choice. And he was the only one brave enough to even attempt to make it.

Rose suddenly, desperately didn't want to be there. She didn't want to see him put through this. She didn't want to stand there and bear witness to him make a choice that would haunt him for the rest of his life. And even if he somehow changed his mind, if he chose to save them. Then the Time War would ravage across space and time and obliterate everything in its path. It was a war to end all wars. To end everything.

"How come you are looking at me like that?" the Doctor asked suddenly, swallowing hard. "Like it... hurts you?"

Rose turned away not answering him. There was nothing for her to say. No words she could fashion into comprehension for him.

"Who are you?" he asked her yet again. And it took Rose some time to answer. It seemed she couldn't quite bring herself to tell him her name. She didn't want him to think of this when he met her again. When he met her for the first time. And she didn't feel like herself anyway. It was energy inside her swirled so close to the surface like it was being called by an outside force. She wasn't Rose Tyler. She was the thing that she knew people whispered about in dark corners as she walked past. The thing some had the good sense to fear.

"Bad Wolf," Rose finally said. "I'm the Bad wolf." She stood with her back to him. "Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor?"

"You shouldn't call me that," he said. Rose turned back towards him.

"It's your name," she pointed out. "At least it's the one you chose."

"I don't deserve to be the Doctor any more."

"Perhaps that's true," she allowed. "And perhaps it isn't." Rose took a deep breath. "It's time," she said, feeling a hint of urgency from the box that was not anything as simple as a box.

"Time for what?" the Doctor asked, his eyes narrowing on her.

"Time for you to see," Rose explained. "See what this choice will turn you into. The man you'll become."

For a second they stood in silence. Then air began to swirl next to them, tighter and tighter into a swirling vortex. A time fissure. That's what it was. Exactly as the one in the Under Gallery.

Suddenly a fez came flying out of it. Rose blinked. She stared at the fez. The image of the Doctor twirling around, grinning with it on his head filled her mind. It temporarily seemed to clear her mind of the Moment's interference and it's constant call to the wolf inside her.

"That was a surprise," Rose said as the Doctor reached down and retrieved the red hat. Rose stared from the fez up at the swirling vortex and back again. He was there. He had to be. It was somehow connected. She hadn't just been plucked out of time she had been taken out of a specific time for a specific reason.

"Doctor!" she called into the swirling mass of air and light.

"Yes," he responded from behind her.

"Not you," Rose said as she walked over to the time fissure. If the fez had come out there than arguably she'd go back if she went through.

"Doctor!" she called again but got no answer. Rose made a move to jump right into the vortex but was instantly yanked to a stop. She glanced back at the box. "I have to get back to him," she told it. There was no response. No sense of what the box wanted besides having her stay. Rose turned her eyes on the War- Doctor.

"Go," she said.

"Are you this commanding in the future as well?" he grunted as he walked over to the swirling vortex.

"I'm sorry," Rose said. "But this is for you. She's opened windows into your future. The days to come. The man today will make of you."

"You're not coming with me? Wolf girl?" he asked.

"I can't," Rose answered.

The Doctor looked back at her over his shoulder. He watched her, for a moment it seemed as though he might say something. But he must have thought better of it and before Rose knew it he'd vanished into the fissure.

Rose stared into the vortex as it swirled before her, growing weaker and weaker until it vanished entirely. No matter what the Moment showed this Doctor of war he would still be back here and forced to make that choice. And Rose knew what that choice would do to him in the end. It would bleed the compassion out of him, making him hard as the hardest stone. The problem was he would regain that compassion. His edges would become that much less rough. But with compassion comes pain and his nature had been too kind not to let it in. The day would come when he sat and counted all those children.

This was the moment that would shape him more than any other throughout his whole life. It would come to define him. The last of the Time Lords.

Rose stumbled, feeling pressure squeeze her chest, making it suddenly hard to breath. It was a feeling she knew all too well by now. It was the bond. The Doctor was too far away. She fell to her knees in the sand in front of the beautiful and deadly golden box.

"You have to let me go to him," Rose said. "He needs my help. They'll both need my help." The box remained silent and still. "Please," Rose asked of it. She was tethered to it. She could feel it holding her here. "It hurts."

At that, surprisingly Rose felt a twin spark from the heart of the box. Like it knew and understood exactly that pain of separation. Rose narrowed her eyes on it.

"What are you?" Rose asked. How could a box, built to be a weapon know the pain of loss? "Were you a person first?" Rose asked and immediately knew it had been. The box was sentient because it had once been someone. Those ancient Time Lords had built a weapon out of a living being. "Why?" Rose asked. "Why would they do that?" One simple notion filled Rose's mind, translating into one simple word. Punishment.

Rose was suddenly afraid to ask but she did it anyway. "What were you punished for?" The answer filled Rose's mind. It lit up every part of her and she understood it perfectly. She was probably the only person alive who could. Rose knew why it had to be her. Why the box had brought her. It wasn't only because of her connection to the Doctor and at the same time it was precisely why.

Tears fell down Rose's cheeks. Tears she had no interest in stopping. This thing that had once had a life deserved someone's tears for its fate.

"I'm sorry," Rose said. She got back up on her feet. Sorrow filled her heart. But she brushed the tears away. She had to. "But you understand why you have to let me go to him," Rose insisted. "Please. I'll be back and he'll understand what it means to make you do what they created you for. You have my word. But you have to let me help him."

There was no thought or emotion from the box. No explanation or notion filling Rose's mind. Suddenly it just let go.

"Can you create another fissure?" Rose asked. There was no response from the box. It was like it had never told her anything at all. As though she'd never felt its heart beat. "I'll have to do it myself, is that it?" Still no response.

Rose raised her wrist and hastily pushed in the coordinates on her vortex manipulator to take her back to Earth and the time she'd been pulled out of. It didn't quite feel right. Like that wasn't exactly the way to the Doctor but she went anyway. She gave the box one final glance before she pressed the last button and the manipulator yanked her away. She hurled through the vortex. Rushing forwards and falling down all at once. It was enough to make anyone's stomach turn upside down.

She slammed back into the world, materialising practically in the exact same spot as she'd been pulled away. Kate screamed out in surprise as Rose appeared suddenly out of nowhere.

"Rose?" Kate clutched her chest as though she might have gotten a heart-attack, trying for a second to regain her breath. "What happened? Where did you go? The Doctor he...-"

"Where is he?" Rose interrupted, not in the mood to give a lengthy explanation. She wasn't sure how she would go about doing it anyway.

"England, 1562." Rose swiftly set the coordinates for 1562. "He's at the Tower," Kate told her. Rose glanced up at that.

"Prisoner?"

"It would seem so."

Rose narrowed her jump to land her where she needed to be. It shouldn't be too hard since she had the bond to guide her.

"Rose wait!" Kate called out but it was too late. The vortex manipulator pulled Rose away. She hurled forwards. One could say backwards since it was back in time but it was forward for her. Time wasn't linear. It had taken her a long time to understand how that worked. It was one thing having the Doctor tell her time was not a straight line and another thing entirely to understand how it wasn't.

Her feet hit rough stone and Rose felt her stomach do a bit of a summersault. She caught herself against a cold, crudely constructed stone wall. Too many jumps, she thought, struggling to push the nausea down. She had nothing to throw up after all. She hadn't eaten since yesterday. She swallowed a couple of times, her stomach finally settling. She looked around the empty hall she'd landed in. There was one door right in front of her. Old, dark wood. The place smelled of wet dirt and other things she'd rather not name.

Rose moved closer towards the door, instinctively knowing that's where the Doctor was. With the bond active she would always be able to find him no matter how far away he might be. Only now it felt strange. A bit fractured. The other one must be in there with him, Rose realised. This was where the Moment had sent him. To see the man he'd become. As Rose moved closer she could hear arguing from the other side of the door. She tried the handle, pulling the door opened. She was met by her Doctor. The one she knew now with floppy hair and the bowtie.

At first he stared at her in utter astonishment. She guessed he'd been too distracted to feel her coming. She was about to open her mouth to ask him what was going on when he suddenly caught her and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her tightly to him. He didn't say anything at first only held her.

The bond burned up bright between them, warming Rose's entire body. It was like coming inside, out of the rain. Like coming home.

"Don't ever do that again," he muttered in her ear. Rose pulled away from him.

"I actually didn't do anything," she said.

"Where did you go?" he wanted to know.

"Long story," Rose said as she glanced over his shoulder to try and see the War- Doctor. She didn't know what else to call him. She had to differentiate them somehow in her mind. "I heard you talking to someone," Rose said when she didn't see him and watched as the Doctor's face fell. He looked so distraught for a moment it actually made her worried. "What?" she asked, trying to catch his eye. "What's wrong?"His sudden refusal to look at her only made her more concerned. She caught his face between her palms, urging it up.

"Rose?"

She froze. She knew the sound of that voice like she knew her own heartbeat. But it was impossible. That version of him was gone. She'd watched him die. Rose couldn't tear her eyes away from the Doctor in front of her. Didn't dare shift her gaze and risk it having been a hallucination. A cruel trick of her mind.

"Rose..."

She turned her head, just an inch and was sure she felt her heart stop. Every bone her body seemed to lock down and she suddenly couldn't move. He was right there. Right inside the room, the gloom curling around his slim build, wearing the same pinstriped suit and chucks. Only there was something wrong with his hair.

Rose narrowed her eyes on the sight of the Doctor she'd loved. As he'd been when everything between them had become something so much more. The shape and face that had haunted her dreams for so long after he'd regenerated was exactly the same. She still saw him in those dreams sometimes. Sometimes she welcomed him and sometimes she turned away, the sight of him too painful when she knew she would never get that part of him back.

She still loved the Doctor as he was now. Of course she did. The shape of his face didn't matter. But that love had become so convoluted. She'd crushed his heart and destroyed her own. Their relationship had become so wrought with pain and misery she wasn't sure they could ever come back from it anymore. She wasn't even sure they should.

"How..." the Doctor breathed where he stood inside the cell, staring at her. He turned on his eleventh incarnation. "Why didn't you tell me!?" he barked. The Doctor in front of Rose squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't answer. Didn't move. Rose's hands slipped from his face. She moved past him, drawn by that familiar shape. By everything she'd loved and fought for, for so long. But the Doctor next to her clasped her wrist.

"You can't... be with him," he ground out without looking at her. "You can't go with him. Tell me you understand that?"

"Let go of me," Rose growled, her tone equally harsh.

"Rose, you can't..." he began but Rose tore her hand free. He didn't try to stop her again. He just hopelessly let her go.

Rose walked past him, going for the man he used to be. The one she'd lost.

"How are you here?" he asked as she came over, absolute awe written all over his face. His eyes roamed over her. "I lost you," he said. "You can't be here."

"I came back to you," Rose said with a shrug and a smile. As though it was no great feat. As though it hadn't taken universes being torn apart and her nearly dying to accomplish it.

"You came back to me?" A wonderfully familiar grin spread his lips wide. She nodded. "How?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not one bit."

Rose threw herself into his arms and he caught her. He lifted her off the floor and she could feel him smiling into her shoulder. It was so easy, so familiar. They'd done this so many times. Back when his fear of hurting her had held him back these were the moments he'd stolen. The excuses he'd allowed himself. To simply hold her and just for a moment pretend he would never have to let go. Those were the moments that had been theirs alone.

"Oh, Rose," he murmured into her hair. "My Rose." She smiled at that. His hands clutched her jacket in his fists as he held on to her. "I never dared to think... Not for a moment," he murmured, only half coherently. "I can't believe I get you back. I get you back."

It was joy, Rose thought. Untainted joy as she hadn't known in a long time. This was him when things had been good. This was him when he'd believed in her. Not as he was now when desperation and grief and pushed him so far he no longer asked but simply took and she could do nothing but give because she still loved him despite what that love was doing to her.

The man that held her now. He was the one who in the end had done what she wanted not because she asked it of him but because he'd finally understood that it needed to be her choice even if it cost her, her life.

The Tenth-Doctor sat her back down but didn't let go. Neither did she. If she could just pretend for a moment longer that this was still how it was. Just one more moment. The Tenth-Doctor looked up at the later version of himself.

"How long?" he asked. The Eleventh-Doctor didn't answer at first.

"Not long," came reluctantly after some time. Ten turned his attention back to Rose. She'd forgotten. Forgotten the exact feel of his arms around her. The tensile strength of those long, sinewy muscles of his. How could she ever have forgotten?

His hands came up into her hair, not yet quite ready to release her and Rose felt the bond suddenly spark off. Electricity began sizzling along her nerves.

"Rose..." Her name fell of his lips on a sigh.

 _Doctor..._

Rose didn't realise what she'd done until he suddenly stopped. In an instant he'd pulled away. He stumbled back a step.

"How did you do that?" he asked, a sudden hint of fear in his eyes.

"I..."

Rose couldn't continue. Wasn't sure she should. Surely he couldn't be allowed to know what would happen. What he'd do. She shouldn't have been so thoughtless. Reluctantly she glanced back at the Doctor behind her. She was half aware of the War- Doctor in the room as well, watching silently from somewhere in the shadows. Probably trying to work out her significance. The Doctor behind her stood, leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest and one foot propped up behind him. His hair hung in his eyes. She couldn't see his expression.

"Tell him," he said without raising his head. "He won't remember it anyway. Trust me." Rose turned back to his tenth incarnation. He was still staring at her in fear, horror making his dark brown eyes even bigger.

 _Please, don't look at me like that_ , Rose asked of him across the bond, making him start.

He looked at her, his eyes running over her face. She could see his mind working in overdrive, trying to figure out what had happened to her. To them.

"I..." he stuttered. "I can feel you... I..." He moved back towards her, reaching out his hand tentatively. His fingers touched her cheek and she saw him shiver, his body instantly responding to the feel of her skin against his fingers. He drew back his hand, clenching it into a fist and turned on Eleven.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice turning hard and angry. "Please, tell me you didn't do what I think you did!"

"I didn't do anything," Eleven responded. He still didn't look up. Still refused to face any of them. "This..." he indicated Rose with a casual flick of his arm. "Is all on you."

Ten's eyes shifted to Rose. He couldn't seem to be able to form the question. But apparently the War- Doctor had no such issues.

"Would someone care to explain what is going on?" he asked. "Who is this girl?

"You know who she is," Eleven said from his position by the door. "Instinctively you know."

"No," Ten said, shaking his head. "No, I wouldn't do that. No. Not to her. Not ever."

"Well, you did," Eleven said dismissively. Ten turned to Rose, fear clouding his gaze.

"I wouldn't do that to you," he said pleadingly. Pleading for her to reassure him. Tell him that of course he hadn't. But he had.

Rose drew in a hasty breath and stepped closer to him. She reached up her hand and ran it through his hair.

"What did you do to it?" she asked him. He looked at her in bewilderment.

"I don't know," he said, sounding nothing short of confused. "Before I got here... I...think… I…" Rose messed up his hair. It didn't take more than a run through to get it to stand on end. She smiled at him. She loved running her fingers through his hair. He had after all some really great hair.

"There," she said, letting her hand fall. "Much better." The Doctor caught her hand, electricity immediately sparked off between them. He looked down at her hand.

"I wouldn't do this to you," he said again, looking as though he wanted to pull her closer just as much as push her away.

"You saved my life," Rose told him, winding her fingers with his. "It's ok. I'm ok."

"There are reasons, Rose," he said sadly, taking a shuddering breath. He struggled for a moment. Struggled to not let it overtake him. To overcome the overwhelming sense of feeling her inside his mind. Of feeling someone where there had been nothing for so long. She knew because she could feel it. He was too shocked to even attempt to hide it. "Reasons why this can't ever happen."

"I know," Rose assured. "And trust me we will go over them all. It won't be easy and it will hurt. A lot. But it will be worth it in the end. It will all be worth it."

"You bonded!?" The disapproving voice of the War- Doctor was like getting hit with cold water. Everyone started and turned to him in surprise.

Rose left Ten and walked over to the War- Doctor. She held out her hand for him. He made no move to take it.

"It's ok," Rose said. But he shook his head.

"I will have no part of this, wolf girl." He turned on the two later versions of him. "Do you have any idea what you've done!? Either of you?!" he said harshly. He turned his eyes back to Rose when neither man answered him. "This is what it wanted to show me?" he asked her. "This is what I'll be? A man who'd let the universe burn for my own satisfaction?"

"Is that what you think the bond is?" Rose asked him.

"It is forbidden for a reason," he told Rose.

"It is," she confirmed. "Because it is dangerous. Very dangerous. I'm not going to deny that. But it's also wonderful and amazing and everything you could ever dream of."

"Tell me this then," he said, his eyes hard like granite as he glared at Rose. She still felt him. Felt that this was the Doctor and it broke her heart to have him look at her like that. "How many have suffered in the wake of your... love?" he spat the word out as though it was poison. And Rose unwittingly thought of James. "How many have died?"

Shadows fell over Rose's face. It felt like this Doctor of blood and war had placed a great weight inside her chest and it was pulling her down. Mickey's face swam before her eyes. River's. Even Elsa Conn's. People who'd suffered and died in their wake. Because of what they were.

"Just because you couldn't keep it in your pants!" he barked at the two men behind her.

"That's enough."

It was Eleven. He'd not moved from his spot by the door but his tone left no room for arguments. Ten appeared at Rose's side. He would always be the one that picked her up when she stumbled, ready to catch her if she fell.

"You think I would ever want this?" Ten asked the War- Doctor angrily. "I..." he stumbled over the word. "She's important," he said instead. "Far more than you can understand at this point." He couldn't say it yet, Rose thought. It would take him time yet to get those words out of his mouth. "I must not have had a choice!"

"You're both fools," the War- Doctor told them both. "This isn't love!" He gesticulated angrily towards Rose who felt like folding in on herself or run away. And she wasn't the type to run. "It's an obsession! Worlds burned because of this kind of bond you've created!"

Eleven finally pushed away from the wall and straightened. He came up on Rose's other side. His eyes fastened on the War- Doctor's.

"I said that's enough," he told him, pointing his finger at him for emphasis.

"You don't scare me, boy," the War- Doctor said and Eleven smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Not at all.

"I should," he said. "After all, I have already done what you're only contemplating. That and so much more." He shook the single string of hair out of his eye. "You're not saying these things because you believe them."

He was still smiling that horrible smile. Like a shark, honing in on its target. "I loved her enough to bond with her..." Rose felt Ten stiffen next to her. Eleven had not shied away from saying the words as he had. "Which means I love her through every life. Every last one of them. That includes yours however twisted and dark that war has made you, you know it's true. And now you're afraid. Because having her means you have something to loose, old man."

Silence filled the room, where the three Doctors did nothing more than glare at each other while Rose struggled to not feel the sting of the War-Doctor's words. It was nothing she hadn't heard before. It was after all how they viewed the bond. It was to be feared and should it ever come into existence it should immediately be destroyed. Preferably in the most brutal way possible as an example to the rest.

Rose knew why bonding was against their laws. She understood why they feared it. It was a cataclysmic force. It had the power to nullify everything else. Render it all secondary. She'd learned about Omega and his madness at loosing Patience. How it had brought calamities that for the Time Lords echoed though history. She knew that madness was a reality even for her. For the Doctor. Being apart was like being torn opened and slowly bleeding out. It was pain and fear unlike any other. You'd do anything to make it stop. Even set the universe on fire and watch it burn.

But the bond was also the most beautiful thing Rose had ever known. It allowed you to share your soul with another. Become one in ways she could never have imagined. Share thoughts and dreams you might never have been able to explain with mere words. And the passion it ignited was enough to render you speechless. Enough to throw any hint of caution or restraint to the wind. Letting it consume you was the most exquisite kind of freedom.

At least that was its potential. Now it was mostly a dark blight on her soul. A reminder of the pain she'd caused and the pain she'd allowed to be inflicted on herself.

"We should get going," Rose said, turning away from them all.

"Know that I do not blame you, child," the War-Doctor said after her. "I'm sure you did not fully understand..." Rose turned back on him.

"I made my choices, Doctor," she told him. "One day I hope you'll understand them as maybe I'll understand yours, yeah?" Her eyes were hard on his, making sure he knew just exactly to what she was referring. Reminding him that the pair of them were actually there for another reason.

Both Ten and Eleven where looking from the War-Doctor to Rose and back again.

"So, what is going on here then?" Ten asked.

"Does feel like we're missing something," Eleven remarked.

"It's nothing," Rose answered without taking her eyes of the War-Doctor. If he thought he could stand there and take the higher ground like the arrogant lord of time she knew he could be he was sorely mistaken. She might not have chosen this at the beginning but she had chosen him. All of him and everyone of him. "Let's go." She turned on her heal and marched out, not glancing back to see if the three of them followed just thinking they'd better.

"How'd you get the door opened?" Eleven asked as he followed her out into the hall. "We were just debating how...-"

"It was opened," Rose interrupted him.

"Open?" Ten cut in as he emerged after Eleven. "They left it opened?"

"Apparently," Rose said.

"Why do you suppose they'd do that?" Eleven wondered.

"Negligence?" Ten suggested, both of them following Rose down the hall.

"Forgetting to lock the door to a prison cell is not negligence," the War-Doctor pointed out as he brought up the rear. "It is idiocy."

"Or intent," Rose pointed out, stopping suddenly.

The rest halted with her.

"Someone's coming," Ten remarked as they all listened, hearing sharp footsteps coming towards them down the hall.

"Wait here," Rose told them and continued forwards until the hallway did a sharp right turn. She took a breath before she peaked quickly out behind the corner. She drew back immediately. Eleven and Ten's expectant faces met her. "I think... it's Queen Elizabeth."

"Oh, not good." Ten reached out and took her wrist, pulling her away. She felt his hold twitch as the bond sparked off. He wasn't used to it. It was after all a difficult thing to get used to. Rose wasn't even sure it was quite possible.

"Why not good?" Rose asked in a hushed tone as they began hurrying back down the way they'd come.

"Zygon," Eleven said, scrunching up his face in disgust.

"Zy- what now?"

"Red, shapeshifting alien, covered in suckers, currently with the appearance of Queen Elizabeth I," Ten explained rapidly.

"Venom sacks on their tongues," Eleven pointed out as he looked over at her while delivering this gruesome piece of information. His gaze inadvertently flickered down to Ten's hand around her wrist and she immediately pulled it free. Not even quite sure why. It was him. They were all him. You couldn't be jealous of yourself after all.

"Seriously?" Rose asked, glancing back over her shoulder as they heard the sound of Zygon- Elizabeth's footsteps getting ever closer. Ten hurried over and tried a rough wooden door to their left. It opened with a bit of a squeak, revealing a set of stone steps leading down into utter darkness.

"Ask him," Elevens said, nodding towards Ten. "Cus he's really checked."

"Oh, shut up," Ten told Eleven before he pulled the sonic out of his inner jacket pocket and disappeared down into the darkness, using the light from the tip of the sonic to see.

"You shut up," Eleven muttered as he hurried after, Rose and the War-Doctor following.

"This is ridiculous," Rose heard the War-Doctor mutter from behind her. "The pair of them should just settle this with pistols at dawn and have it over with."

The stairwell was narrow, going round and down. Eleven got his sonic out as well and added his green light to the blue. It wasn't much to see by but it was enough to keep them all from stumbling and falling in the dark.

They hurried down the stairs, moving as swiftly and soundlessly as they could.

"Fine idea, but I can't very well shoot the younger version of myself," Eleven told the War-Doctor quietly. "Rather counterproductive."

"Yeah, like you'd win," Ten threw back over his shoulder.

"I can't believe I have the mentality of child to look forward to," the War-Doctor continued to mutter.

"You do all realise it is yourselves you're arguing with,"' Rose pointed out to the three of them.

That concept was clearly amusing because both Eleven and Ten surprisingly snickered. Rose glanced back over her shoulder and thought she even saw the War-Doctor crack a bit of a smile. "This ever happened before?" Rose asked them as they continued down the stairs.

"Sure," Eleven said.

"Bound to," Ten agreed. "The way we scurry about. Usually don't remember it after though," he allowed. "Not if you're an earlier version. Timelines, paradoxes and all that stuff."

"Timey wimey," Eleven said from in front of them.

"Suddenly feel as though Jack should have been here," Rose said.

"Captain Jack?" Eleven asked over his shoulder. "Naw, his pretty head would probably have exploded."

Rose had to allow that it was a possibility. She had trouble herself, reconciling the existence of three of them at once in her head.

"So anyway," she said. "...would someone mind just telling me what is going on?" she asked still in a hushed tone. "What are you both doing here? You know, at once?" She would have asked this sooner but a part of her hadn't really cared.

"I'm helping," Eleven said.

"You are not helping," Ten refuted. "You're meddling, big difference."

"Perhaps you could all be quiet for a moment," the War-Doctor suggested. "And listen." Everyone immediately did as he asked. Noises could be heard further down the stairs.

"What is that?" Rose asked, listening intently. It sounded like machinery.

"Let's find out." Ten scurried away and the rest of them quickly followed.

They reached the bottom of the stairs, the noise growing louder. It wasn't quite machinery, Rose realised but neither was it human. An archway took them out onto a balcony. The room was dark and dingy, spiderwebs clung to the corners, old marred oak beams helped hold a ceiling made of stone. The balcony they were on was made of wood. But the wood looked ancient, blackened and unstable as though at any moment the whole thing might collapse.

The four of them moved nearly soundlessly. Rose peaked out over the railing, looking down where far bellow control stations were rudimentary set up around the room. Zygon's were everywhere, working the controls. It wasn't difficult to deduce that, that's what they were. Big, red aliens covered in suckers. Check. Eleven came up next to her, looking down at the Zygon's below.

"What do you suppose they're doing?" Rose whispered to him.

"Looks like stasis technology," Eleven whispered back thoughtfully. "And don't think I haven't noticed," he added.

"What?"

"You weren't expecting him." He nodded towards his tenth incarnation. "But you know why he's here." He indicated the War-Doctor.

"That's just...-" Rose began but he quickly interrupted her.

"Don't lie," he said. "I'm getting rather tired of it." And he turned to leave her only to stop dead. Rose swivelled right as she heard the hissing.

Two Zygons were emerging out of the shadows, their mouths opened, teeth sharp as needles. Rose instinctively stumbled back at the sight of them only to bump into Eleven behind her. He reached out to steady her. A reflex more than anything else.

"You should not be here," one of the Zygons hissed, its voice a gurgling snarl.

"Funny, because we were just leaving," Eleven said as they backed up. Both Zygons made horrid noises as though they might be laughing, their faces livid with glee. Suddenly they lunged forwards and everyone turned and bolted.

They ran along the balcony, spanning the room. Rose silently prayed the damn thing would hold. The War-Doctor took the lead, followed by Ten and then Rose and Eleven. Rose heard the snarling gurgle of the Zygons as they chased after them. Adrenaline rushed through Rose's blood. She wasn't sure what these Zygons would do to them if they were caught but she was sure she didn't want to find out. Another archway lead them to another set of stairs. They rushed up them. They were just as winding and narrow as the ones that had taken them down which made progress slower. Most of them took two steps at a time as they dashed up the stairs in single file, the snarling hiss of the two Zygons following close on their heels.

Suddenly Rose heard Eleven cry out behind her. She spun just in time to see one of the Zygon's grabbing him and sending an electrical charge through his shoulder. The Doctor's face twisted up in pain. Rose scrambled down the steps. She grabbed the red Zygon hand, trying to yank it away from the Doctor. The Zygon snarled as the Doctor cried out again. Its skin was like rubber.

"Let go of him!" Rose screamed and kicked out one of the Zygon's legs from beneath it. It went down on one knee on the stairs. Its grip tightened on the Doctor, yanking him down with it. The other Zygon was behind the first, snarling and reaching out its arms towards them. But the stairwell was too narrow for it to get past and reach them.

Rose used both hands to desperately try and pry the Zygon of the Doctor. The Doctor reached up trying to aid her even though he was clearly still in pain. The Zygon snarled, mucus spilling out of its mouth.

"Let go," Rose ground out between her teeth as she pulled with everything she had. The Zygon must have realised it couldn't hold on any longer because suddenly it released the Doctor. But just as he breathed a sigh of relief the Zygon threw out its arm, slamming right into Rose and knocking her into the rough stone wall next them.

She hit her head, falling. But someone immediately grabbed her and roughly pulled her back. Ten. He managed to get her past him, handing her over to the War-Doctor, barking out an order to get her out of there while he pulled Eleven to his feet. Both men stumbled back as the Zygons stormed towards them, snarling as they came. One of them managed to grab a hold of Eleven's foot yanking it away and making him fall headlong on the stone steps. Rose felt it as his head slammed into the stone. Rose was scrambling down towards him before her mind had even caught up.

"Doctor!" she called out. He wasn't moving. Ten was trying to pull him to his feet when one of the Zygon's sent an electric charge at him. It hit him square in the chest, knocking him back. He slammed into Rose and they both fell.

More gurgling hisses could be heard coming up the steps. One of the Zygon's were grabbing Eleven and pulling him away while the other was still coming. It reached out its hands, trying to grab them. Ten pulled Rose up with him as more red heads appeared around the turn, snarling as they materialised out of the darkness. Ten turned and pushed Rose ahead of him, trying to get her away but she couldn't leave the Doctor.

"No," she fought against Ten. "We can't leave him!"

"Rose, we have to go!" He got his arms around her waist and half pushed half dragged her up the stairs, away from the approaching Zygons and away from the Eleventh-Doctor.

They stumbled frantically up the stairs. A door blocked their way as they reached the top. The War-Doctor slammed his shoulder into it once and the door burst opened. They scrambled inside, Ten dragging Rose. The War-Doctor slammed the door shut behind them just as the Zygons crashed into it. He threw the bolt.

Rose struggled to get out of Ten's hold on her.

"We can't leave him!" she growled.

"Rose, stop," Ten tried to tell her but Rose twisted free and ran for the door. Ten managed to catch her wrist, spinning her back towards him.

"We won't leave him!" he barked at her and Rose's eyes snapped up to his. "I promise," he vowed. "But we're not gonna do that by going back. We're gonna have to find another way, ok?"

Rose fought to calm down because he was right. She was behaving irrationally, her fear of losing the Doctor clouding her judgment. They had to stop and think. "We'll get him back," he said again. "I won't allow you to be alone. Do you understand? I won't." Rose looked into those familiar brown eyes and nodded. She trusted him. Utterly and completely.

He relaxed a little before his eyes suddenly shifted from hers, fastening on her hairline. He released the brutal grip on her wrist and reached up his hand. She felt his fingers against her forehead and winced.

"Sorry," he said. "Seems you got a bit of a bump." Rose felt her skin tingling as he ran his fingers gently over the bump she'd clearly gotten when she had been knocked into the wall. She reluctantly took a step back and his hand fell.

The War-Doctor walked past them, heading for another door at the other side of the room. Rose and Ten looked around. They were in a square shaped room. Old carpets covered the floor, their colour faded by time and wear. The ceiling was high. Along one wall stood several paintings covered with sheets and in the middle of the room was a pedestal with a glowing cube on it. Definitely not 16th century. Or Earth, come to think of it.

"You alright?" Ten asked, watching Rose. She nodded.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath and he watched her a moment longer. "Really," she assured.

Ten rather reluctantly left her side but bounded over to the cube. He threw on his specks as he went. He squinted down at the cube with the War-Doctor soon joining him. Rose wandered over to the framed paintings leaning against the wall. She pulled the sheet of one and instantly recognised it. It was one of the paintings in the National Gallery. One of the ones with broken glass and something missing. She pulled the sheet of the rest of them. They were all the paintings Kate had shown them. These ones were equally empty. Only desert landscapes. No figures. Ten came over to Rose's side.

"What have we here?" he asked, looking at the paintings.

"We saw these," Rose told him. "In the future. Something was missing from them. Something that had been there. Figures in the distance." Ten bit his lip as he considered that, his eyes on the paintings. "What does it mean?" Rose asked.

"Time lord art," the War-Doctor remarked as he came up on Rose's other side. "Bigger on the inside."

"These aren't paintings," Ten said.

"They're stasis cubes," the War-Doctor explained.

Ten pointed his thumb back over his shoulder. "And that's the converter."

"What does it convert?" Rose asked.

"Whatever you like," Ten said. "Weapons, tech, people."

"And they end up in the paintings?" Rose wondered. He nodded. "To what end?"

"Dunno," Ten allowed, showing his hands in his trouser pockets as he thought about it.

"You said anything." Rose turned to Ten.

"Yes."

"What if it's them?" Rose said. "These Zygons. What if they plan on hiding in these for, you know later. Until the right time." She indicated the paintings.

"Oh!" Ten exclaimed. "Oh, but that's brilliant! I mean, they can just sit inside these paintings for a couple of centuries until, I don't know, the planet's more fit to invade or something and then out they come." He smiled at Rose, his whole face lit up with excitement. "You are brilliant you are!" he said. "Brilliant Rose Tyler. Oh, I've missed you."

Rose actually blushed at his praise, like she was just a kid again. It wasn't like he ever said such things to her anymore after all. Those days were long gone. She turned away from the Tenth-Doctor, finding it actually hurt to be reminded of how good they'd been once. How wonderful he could make her feel with just a stupid grin and a kind word. Not using the bond and making her lose everything she was. The bond could make you feel great. Rose imagined there was no greater high. But there was a dark side to such a thing. It made you lose yourself. Loose everything you'd normally value. One thing and one thing alone mattered and that was always going to be dangerous. That was why it was forbidden after all.

The War-Doctor caught her eye as she turned away and she thought she saw a hint of understanding in his. He was a different man from the ones she knew. This was him in the middle of a war.

"Rose?" Ten asked. "Are you ok?" She nodded as she walked over to the converter cube, using it as an excuse. "Did I say something stupid?" he asked after her. "I didn't mean... You know how I blabber on."

"No," Rose assured him. "It's nothing." She took a deep breath. "So can't we just destroy this converter thing?" she asked in an attempt to change the subject. "Without it they won't be able to enter the paintings right? So they can't invade the future."

"I think the battle isn't here," the War-Doctor said. "This is just the beginning. This is just where it starts. Not where it is finished." He spoke as one used to marking up strategies and predicting the enemy's next move.

"What about the paintings?" Rose asked, turning around and finding Ten just behind her. She swivelled back towards the cube but he caught her hand turning her back.

"We'll get him back," he said, thinking that's still why she was upset. Because she was worried. Which she was. Really worried. But it was not why she was upset. She trusted that Ten would make good on his word. He'd do everything he could to help her get the Doctor back.

"It's not that," Rose said, pulling her hand out of his.

"Then what-"

"It's you," she interrupted him.

"Me?"

"I'm sorry. Never mind." She tried to move again and again he reached for her, halting her.

"Talk to me."

"It's not important. We should find the Doctor. I mean... my Doctor." Rose ran her fingers through her hair. "This is all kind of confusing, you know," she told them both.

"Rose," Ten said with some severity. "Talk to me."

"I can't," Rose said, looking at him sadly.

She wanted nothing more than someone to confide in. To just tell someone why she'd done what she'd done. How it had tormented her. How it had hurt. How many times she'd doubted her choices. How many times she'd regretted them. But she couldn't tell him. Not him.

"I know there's something," Ten said. "Something's wrong. I'm not blind. But whatever he... I did. I'm sorry. Trust me. Just...-"

"It doesn't matter," Rose interrupted him again, shaking her head.

"Don't say that," Ten said. "Please, don't say that. Rose..." But Rose just continued to shake her head.

"You don't understand," she said. "It's ruined. It's all ruined." Her voice broke and the Doctor pulled her into his arms. He didn't even hesitate. He just did it. Like it was the most natural thing in the world because it was. Or it had been. Once. Now even that was ruined.

Rose clung to him for a moment, wanting so much to let it all out. Keeping it buried for too long was going to make her turn rotten from the inside out. The problem was she wasn't sure he'd actually still be holding her at the end of it.

"It's not," he whispered in her ear. "I just lost you. I know what that feels like now. I wouldn't risk… Not again. No matter what's happened between us... No matter what I've done..."

Rose pulled away from him, tears filling up her eyes. He thought he'd done something. That he'd hurt her. But that wasn't what had happened.

"You didn't do anything," she said as she stared at him. "I did."


	57. Chapter 57 - Gallifrey falls no more

Chapter 57 - Gallifrey falls no more

The Tenth-Doctor stared at her for what seemed like forever. At the back of Rose's mind she could hear the incessant banging as the Zygons tried to break down the door. But it was a distant thing.

"We should think about going," the War-Doctor suggested carefully. Ten drew in a hasty breath and finally tore his eyes away from Rose.

"Yep," he agreed. "You're right. And we need a plan. We need to get my less handsome future self out of the mess he's fallen into and return him to where he belongs." He gave Rose a pointed glare which she had no real idea how to take. Did the Doctor still belong with her? Would he still need her when the end came or would it be someone else by his side?

"I suggest we discuss that somewhere less... noisy though," Rose pointed out as the Zygons kept pounding away on the door. The bolt had begun to bend. It wasn't going to hold for much longer.

"Ok, let's go then, Allons-y!"

Ten took off, going for the other door across the room. Rose and the War-Doctor followed. He threw the bolt off and tore opened the door only to stop dead. A red snarling face met him. The Zygon acted quickly. Before the Tenth-Doctor had a chance to throw the door shut again it pushed the door opened with enough force to make the Doctor stumble back. It was as though it had quietly been waiting out there, knowing they'd open the door to escape eventually. The Zygon smiled as it walked inside. The War-Doctor's arm shot out in front of Rose as though shielding her. Rose glanced at him in surprise but his attention was on the new threat. The Zygon snarled and drooled, looking as though it would like nothing better than to sink its teeth into all of them. Rose was just contemplating how best to sidestep the creature when the door behind them burst opened and more Zygons stormed in.

"Oh, come on," Ten groaned, more with annoyance than anything else. Like the hoard of red, snarling aliens was nothing more than a mild inconvenience.

The Zygon's spanned the room, creating a wide circle around the three of them. Rose looked from face to face trying to recognise the one who had taken Eleven away. But they all pretty much looked the same to her. Frustratingly she realised she didn't know this species well enough to be able to differentiate between them. One of the Zygon's made a grab for her and she scrambled out of its reach. Not that it was likely to matter. They were closing in all around them.

"Wh...what exactly can be, like expected here, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"Well," Ten drawled. "Upside, they'll probably kill us quickly. Zygons never were much for finesse."

The three of them tightened their ranks, ending up standing back to back, trying to keep an eye on all the Zygons as they drew closer, snarling and drooling.

"Comforting," Rose muttered.

"I doubt that was meant as a comfort," the War-Doctor remarked, his gaze flickering around the room, trying to be prepared for any attack.

"Then what was it meant for?" Rose asked out of the corner of her mouth. "A fun fact?"

"If you want a fun fact about Zygons..." Ten began. "...then I have quite a few interesting ones. For instance, did you know-"

"Oh, shut up," both the War-Doctor and Rose said in unison. Ten obediently clamped his mouth shut. He swallowed once and then straightened up, taking a step towards the approaching Zygons.

"Where is your leader?" he asked the nearest one, using the commanding tone of voice Rose knew he only applied when they were in really deep trouble and bravado alone was about the only thing that could get them out of it. "I demand to see your leader."

If this was the only play they had left Rose might as well run along with it. She fixed her glare on the Zygon right in front of her.

"Yeah. Leader," she told it. "And make it snappy."

"You heard the lady," Ten said loud and clear. "Snappy."

"Snappy?" the War-Doctor asked. "Are both of you mad? That is hardly the proper way to demand an audience with the leadership of an alien species."

"I thought snappy summed it up rather nicely," Ten offered.

"I agree," Rose said, her eyes fixed on the Zygons.

"Well, then I must say I'm pleased at least one of you have not forgotten their manners," came a crisp, cool female voice. The two Doctors and Rose stared as Queen Elizabeth strode regally into the room. Rose could not help but stare. Even though she was apparently a Zygon, it looked to Rose as though she was a very good copy. She remembered the painting of her and the Doctor in the Under Gallery. Her red, coppery hair fell in perfectly controlled ringlets over her shoulders. Her dress was made out of beautifully woven golden thread and priceless jewels graced her neck and ears. Her baring was straight and the tilt of her head betrayed her familiarity with wearing something rather heavy on it. Like a crown for instance. Which meant the Zygons copied more than just appearance.

The Queen wasn't beautiful in the modern sense. But she was, in the sense that her presence demanded the attention of the room. She was royal. She was born royal but Rose knew from school that she'd fought to get the throne.

Rose tried really hard not to hate her on the spot. Just as she struggled not to hate River. Because how could she despise them for loving him? If that was indeed what the real Elizabeth did or would come to do. They saw the same as Rose did. It should unite them. But ones heart wasn't always rational.

"Ah," the Tenth Doctor smiled as Elizabeth stopped in front of them. "Ask and you shall receive it seams. Brilliant."

"If that was you asking, my love," Elizabeth said with an intimate smile. "I'd hate to be around when you make a demand."

Rose looked from Zygon Elizabeth to the Tenth Doctor and back again. Something was off. If she was the leader of the Zygons why was she flirting with the Doctor? Why bother?

"I'll play nice then," Ten said, smiling back at the Queen. His smile however was a mixture of flirtation and threat whereas hers had been all flirtation. Ten removed his glasses and put them back inside his pocket. "We want Chiny back," he said. "Or she want's him back." He nodded towards Rose. The Queen turned her penetrating gaze on her and took her in, in an instant. Just a second and Rose knew she thought she had Rose all figured out. Her mistake.

"The talkative one is with you then is he?" she asked Rose. Talkative. He'd been talking. Which meant he was conscious. Rose considered trying to feel him across the bond but she found it difficult to focus on one of them without the added help of physically touching.

Rose wanted to tell the Queen that they all were hers. All three of them. And she better not come near either one of them or Rose would make sure she winked out of existence. But Rose said nothing, only met the Queen's stare with a dark one of her own.

"Does she not speak?" the Queen asked Ten. He turned his eyes on Rose, there was the hint of a smile playing about his lips as though he knew what she'd been thinking.

"She does," Rose answered Elizabeth without taking her eyes of the Doctor. "When she cares to." Rose slowly shifted her eyes from Ten to Elizabeth. She knew it might be altogether foolish to provoke the one who stood between them and getting the Eleventh Doctor back but Rose couldn't help but imbue her gaze with a hint of indifference. As though Rose wasn't quite sure the Queen even warranted her attention.

She could tell it instantly nettled her. Which further made Rose question her motives. Why would she care?

"Well, I have your... whatever he might be," the Queen said as she looked down her nose at Rose. "If you want him back you are going to have to come with me."

"With you?' the War-Doctor asked, who had kept mostly silent. He wasn't nearly as talkative or restless as his counterparts.

"Yes," Elizabeth declared. She looked at the other Zygons in the room who had all halted as she entered. "You know what to do," she told them, turned in a swirl of golden silk and swept out of the room, expecting the three of them to simply follow.

The two Doctors and Rose looked at each other for a moment. Then Ten shrugged his shoulders like, what else could they do, and followed Elizabeth out of the room. Rose and the War-Doctor followed.

The Queen led them down stone hallways and through dark rooms. They met no more Zygons on the way nor any other living soul. She led them up, out of the darker parts of the Tower to areas more habitable.

"I trust you understood the purpose of the paintings, my love," the Queen told Ten, turning and leaning her head a little to the side to glance at him.

"You're going to use them to put yourself in stasis," Rose answered on a drawl before Ten got the chance. "Until the planet's more... interesting? Right?"

"Oh, but isn't she a clever one," Elizabeth told Ten, just the barest hint of venom in her voice.

"Oh, she is that," Ten confirmed proudly.

"Quite unique," the War-Doctor agreed. Rose could tell by the sudden tense set of Elizabeth's shoulders that she didn't much care for this information.

Rose found herself surprised that the War-Doctor was so ready to champion her again. He hadn't been very amiable the few hours she'd known him. Being that she not only sprung out of thin air to tell him that murdering his entire race was not enough of a price to pay and then finding out she would in the future be part of something that put everything he knew into question.

Rose glanced at the War-Doctor as he walked beside her while Ten and Elizabeth chatted on. As though he could feel her eyes on him he turned his head. His eyes were brown. But not as dark brown as his tenth incarnation. They were lighter, more like burnt almonds than dark chocolate.

"You don't seem so angry with me anymore," Rose remarked. He took a deep, tired breath.

"I was never truly angry at you," he said. "I was angry at myself. I can well see why I will come to do what I'll do." He pulled the sleeve of his leather jacket straight. The jacket that reminded Rose of the Doctor when she'd first met him. When he'd first took her hand and told her to run. "It just... well... it makes everything a bit harder."

"You just didn't want to be alone anymore," Rose said sadly. The Doctor looked over at her, genuine surprise in his face.

"You think that's why I'll do it?" he asked.

"Isn't it?" Rose wondered.

The last time she'd been with the Doctor on that horrible night when he'd come to her, filled with grief and desperation, that fear had blazed in his chest. She'd felt it. He hadn't wanted to be alone.

"You honestly can't see it?" the War-Doctor asked, nodding his head towards Ten as he spoke animately with the Zygon Queen as they walked down the hall. Rose looked back at the War-Doctor in confusion.

"I don't understand," she said.

"I know I said it wasn't love but it is. It even echoes inside me though I don't know you yet. He might not be ready to admit it," the War Doctor said, meaning Ten. "But the other one. He has and he knows what it means."

"Certain destruction?" Rose suggested, laughing bitterly. She'd heard it enough times. How the bond destroyed everything it touched.

"Hope," the War-Doctor said to her surprise. She glanced over at him.

"Hope?"

"I don't know how much you know...," the War-Doctor said. "How much I'll tell you but... Time Lords don't... well, we don't."

"Marry for love..." Rose filled in for him. The Doctor had told her this after all. It seemed like such a long time ago now. She remembered the frailty in his voice. How breakable he'd suddenly seemed and how angry it had made her. He was supposed to be the strong one. He was supposed to be invincible. But no one was invincible. Everyone had a breaking point. Even the Doctor. And though it had made her angry at first in the end it had made her love him that much more. Because she didn't love him as one does a hero or worships an idol. She loved him as one does a man. Just a man.

"The Gallifreyans as a race have a great capacity for love. If they do they do so utterly and completely. Without a hint of restraint or hesitation. Time Lords however think themselves above such thing," the War-Doctor explained. "It colours their view of the universe and their actions more than anything else I fear. It colours how they fight this war."

This war. Not that war. This one. Because it was all still happening for him. It wasn't a battle long since lost it was a battle still raging.

"What exactly are you trying to say, Doctor?" Rose asked him while she watched the Tenth Doctor as he walked ahead of her. She knew he regretted it more than any other version of him that she'd known. He was the one who would count the children who were on Gallifrey that day. He would count them all.

The War-Doctor gave a tired sigh next to her as he rubbed his forehead.

"I guess I'm saying, destroying them, living with it will be that much harder knowing there is still hope for them. And you are proof that there is."

"Are you two coming?" Rose looked up to find Ten peaking out behind a corner, frowning at them. She hadn't even realised they'd stopped walking. "I can't overpower her by myself," Ten whispered at them. "Or... I suppose I could." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, I could. But do I want to?" He looked back at the War-Doctor and Rose.

"We're coming," the War-Doctor informed him. He rounded the corner ahead of Rose, passing Ten. Ten fell into step beside Rose.

"I was awfully grumpy back then," he said. Zygon Elizabeth was waiting up ahead by a big, old and robust looking door "If he said something...-"

"No," Rose hastened to assure him. "He just... gave me a different perspective, I guess. He really is so much younger." She sounded a bit sorrowful. Rose had never known him like that. Fighting a war had made him weary but it was using the Moment to destroy it all that would make him hate himself. And Rose had never known him when he didn't.

They came up to Queen Elizabeth who opened the big, heavy door. She strode in ahead of them. The minute Rose entered the room she saw Eleven spin around and smile as he spotted them.

"Ah, my cohorts!" he exclaimed in delight. Rose just stopped herself from rushing over to him, watching him from the doorway instead. He seemed ok. She wanted to throw her arms around him and know he was by feeling his dual hearts beating against her own. She even wanted to yell at him for letting himself get caught and scaring her. She did neither.

Instead she glanced at the Zygon Queen. Why would she keep him here? Without guards? And why bring them to him? There was only one reasonable answer.

"Honestly," Ten pronounced. "You are just simply the worst aren't you?" he told the Queen. She drew her head back a little, looking only slightly affronted. "I mean did you get nothing from the real Elizabeth?" he asked. "The real Elizabeth, my Elizabeth was at least clever." Rose involuntarily flinched at Ten's choice of words, saying my Elizabeth. "I mean come on! First you reveal your plan and then you actually give us Chiny here." He pointed towards Eleven before taking a couple of steps towards the Queen who was regarding him silently. "You are without a doubt the worst copy I've ever seen," he told her. "And it's not just the hair or the crooked teeth or the breath that could quite frankly fell a horse." Rose cleared her throat.

"Um, Doctor," she tried, hoping to stop him before he had his head chopped off. "Maybe you should stop there," Rose suggested. He glanced back over his shoulder.

"What?" he asked.

"I think, that actually is the real Elizabeth," Rose told him. His head whipped back to look at the Queen. He regarded her for a moment.

"No, it's not," he said. "You're not," he told the Queen.

"Of course I am," the Queen informed him as she drew herself up.

"But where's the other one?" Ten asked. Queen Elizabeth retrieved a knife from a garter around her thigh. It was a jewel incrusted, elegant piece of steel.

"I killed it," she said matter of factly. "I am not to be underestimated. Something these Zygons have yet to understand. It never even crossed their minds that I wasn't their commander."

"Hu," Ten allowed. "I see... well... sorry about... my earlier remarks then."

"I should hope so," Elizabeth told him sharply.

"So she's not a Zygon?" the War-Doctor asked.

"No," Eleven confirmed. "Never was. Or well, not since before. I mean she was for a bit. Not this one. The other one. He snogged both though."

"Can we perhaps focus on more important things," Ten interrupted him impatiently. "Like, for instance what we are going to do about a possible Zygon invasion in the future?"

"We need the TARDIS," Eleven remarked.

"Your big blue box?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"Yes, that one." Eleven pointed at the Queen in confirmation.

"That is fine," the Queen said. "I had it brought in."

"Wonderful!"

"But first." The Queen halted them all. Her eyes focused on Ten and she smiled. "You have a promise to keep, my love," she said.

Ten seemed to go a little ashen and said absolutely nothing.

"What promise?" Rose asked into the silence and saw Ten's entire body suddenly stiffen at the sound of her voice. For a moment he squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them resolution hardened his gaze.

"Elizabeth," he began. "I'm afraid that under the circumstances I must rescind..."

"You will do no such thing," the Queen informed him. "A promise to a Queen is not one you rescind."

"What promise?" Rose asked again. The Queen's gaze shifted slowly from the Tenth Doctor to Rose.

"To marry me, of course and rule the British empire at my side," she said simply and Rose felt herself go cold all over. Of course. She had seen the painting of them. She knew he'd done this. Ten spun around. His haunted gaze met Rose's hurt one.

"I won't," he said immediately, taking a step towards her. "I can't. Not now. I didn't know we... " he stuttered. "Rose... I thought I'd never see you again."

Rose raised her gaze but she didn't look at the Tenth Doctor she looked at the Eleventh. His eyes were steady on hers as though he actually understood and wanted to be something strong, something solid for her to hold on to.

"It doesn't mean anything, right?" she asked Eleven.

"Right," he confirmed solemnly after a moment of silence. She turned back to Ten who still looked desperate.

"Do it," she told him. He blinked in surprise.

"What?"

"Do it. Marry her. You have to. Because to us you already have. If you don't, time won't unfold as it should."

"Time can be rewritten," Ten pointed out darkly. She thought he might have been relieved. But he didn't look relieved. He looked angry.

"Perhaps this time it shouldn't be," she said.

"You can't make me do this," Ten told her. "None of you..." he pointed swiftly to the rest of them. "Can make me."

"Doctor." Rose tried to use a reasonable tone. "It's fine. Really. It won't mean anything."

"What do you mean it won't mean anything?"

"The bond, it outweighs anything else, right?"

"It does," Eleven assured quickly. Ten glanced back at him but turned hastily to Rose again.

"That doesn't mean it won't mean anything," he told her. "I'll still have to say the words. I'll still be married to her by their laws. By your laws," he shot out, pointing to Rose.

"So?" Rose asked.

Ten looked as though she might have shouted the word at him. He looked stricken. Hurt. She hadn't expected him to be hurt.

"How can you say that?" he asked. "Does this have something to do with what you did?" he wanted to know. "With why you're like this now," he said, indicating Rose and Eleven. Eleven looked startled and Rose immediately felt all the guards around her mind go up.

"No," she said. "It doesn't. But this has to happen. You know it does."

"No, I don't," Ten growled at her. "This isn't fixed. We're fixed," he said, pointing between the two of them. "What we did. That's fixed. I can feel it. I know it as I know the very first star in the sky. A part of me wants nothing more than to change it. To undo what we did. But I can't. This I can. I can chose not to do this."

"You can," Rose confirmed and saw a spark of triumph in his eyes. "But I'm asking you to do it." The spark vanished.

"I'm not going to do something just because you ask me to!" he barked at her.

"Doctor," Rose tried again.

"No," he interrupted her immediately. "I said, no, Rose."

Rose's heart was beating rather frantically, her palms felt sweaty. Of course she didn't want him to marry Queen Elizabeth. The thought of it made her physically ill. But if he didn't than Elizabeth might not write the letter or send the painting that would eventually lead them here. Which meant Rose wouldn't see him again. And she had to see him. She needed that now more than ever. With everything going on with her and Eleven meeting Ten again was like a wonderful reminder of how good it all could be. It made her want to fight now. Fight to regain what they'd both lost along the way.

The War-Doctor appeared at Rose's side startling her.

"I think it's time," he said. Rose shook her head as she struggled to swallow the lump in her throat.

"No," she said. "She sent you here for a reason, Doctor. There's something you need to see."

"I think I have," the War-Doctor told her in a hushed voice to hide their conversation from his older selves.

"No," Rose said again. But she wasn't sure if she wanted to stay because it wasn't yet time for them to go or because she couldn't bear to leave.

"Yes," the War-Doctor said. "It's time, wolf girl."

Eleven took a step forwards.

"Why do you call her that?" he asked. He'd clearly heard. The War-Doctor looked up from Rose to his eleventh self.

"I imagine you'll remember it soon enough," he said. Eleven shifted his eyes to Rose.

"We have to go," Rose said.

"You'll be back?" It wasn't really a question, but more of a statement. But Rose nodded.

"Yeah." She looked up at Eleven. "I trust you'll... see to this," she said.

"Yes," he agreed while Ten was looking back and forth between them. Rose turned to the War-Doctor. She didn't really know how they were supposed to get back to that barn. But she knew they would when the time was right.

"No," she heard Ten say behind her before he stalked over, clasping her arm and spinning her back around.

He caught her up, his fingers digging into her arms.

"What happens, Rose?" he asked, an unforgiving quality to the cadence of his tone. "What did you do? What could you possible do to turn us into this? That you could just send me off to marry another woman without so much as batting an eye?! When I can barely stand to see you go off with him?!" He gave an angry nod towards the War-Doctor. "And he's me!"

Rose looked up at the Doctor holding her so tightly she was sure he'd leave bruises on her skin.

"Please," she asked, tears constricting her throat. "Don't ruin this."

"Ruin what?" he barked. He didn't have the patience with her that she was used to. "I thought you said it was already ruined."

"Not you...," Rose said."...and me. Just don't. Please let me keep this at least."

They had been happy once. She didn't want to loose that. She didn't want to taint the memory with what she'd done. With what he'd done. But despite the echoes of the bond resonating within him he wasn't as ready to do something just because she asked him to. He didn't yet know her the way he would.

"Tell me," he told her. "Tell me what happened."

Rose knew now that he'd loved her even back then. Before the bond. Loved her and wanted her but fought it because he feared what it might mean. What it might do. But as she looked into his eyes now it was the power of the bond that she saw dancing in his dark eyes. This desperate need he felt for her to tell him how she could possibly send him off to marry someone else, however meaningless the ceremony, was all the bond. It was blazing in his eyes and burning through his chest with the knowledge that he was hers. They belonged together. Anything else was wrong.

Watching him now she wondered how fundamentally she must have broken him in his eleventh incarnation when she'd told him she no longer wanted him. She remembered thinking, ruined not broken. She'd ruined him. And she must have succeeded because he'd managed to marry River. The man standing before her now didn't seem capable of such a thing. Couldn't comprehend it as a possibility and raged at her for saying it was.

"You died."

It wasn't Rose that had spoken. It was Eleven. Ten turned to look at his older self over his shoulder. He didn't let go of Rose.

"I died?" he asked, confused. Rose looked over at the Eleventh Doctor, her eyes filled with unshed tears and a terribly pleading for him to stop. To please, just please not tell him. But it seemed even Eleven was done caring about what hurt her.

"Yeah," Eleven confirmed. Ten looked back at Rose as though she might give him a better explanation. But Eleven didn't stop there. "You died and this face replaced you. And it's just not quite good enough for our girl here."

Rose felt tears trickling down her face. She didn't think she'd ever cried as much as she had in the last few days. At least not for a long time.

"She doesn't love me," Eleven said with a terrible finality. Ten looked at her, his face twisting into horrid lines of betrayal. But she hadn't betrayed him. She'd done what she had to do. What she had to, to save his life. She'd done it for him. She wanted to tell them. Both. To scream at them for ever thinking she could ever stop loving him. How dare they think that?! How dare they?!

But all she did was cry, trying to remain standing when it felt like her knees could do nothing but buckle under the weight of her selfish heart. She was no different from him in the end. He'd betrayed every principal he'd ever had to save her life. And she'd betrayed her heart so save his.

"Rose..." her name was nothing but a breath on his lips. She tried to look at him. To at least savour that. But he was a blur. She couldn't even see him.

"Let me go," she said. "Please, just let me go."

Ten released her. Released her as though she suddenly burned him. Rose had been sure that the minute he let her go her she'd fall into a useless heap on the floor. But someone caught her. She fell against a broad chest and the smell of leather filled her nostrils. The War-Doctor. She let him help her, not knowing what else she was to do. One leather, clad arm came around her and she clung to it desperately.

"Time to go," she heard him say softly in her ear in that raspy voice of his and she nodded. She didn't even know what it was the War-Doctor thought he'd seen that he had to see. All she knew was that she was crumbling under the weight of the Tenth Doctor's dark brown eyes, filled with a betrayal she'd never perpetrated.

/

Rose blinked and suddenly they were back. Back at that barn in the middle of nowhere. The wind had begun howling outside, even sneaking in through some of the cracks between the boards and stirring up the sand covering the floor. There were wooden boxes along the walls. Some big and some small. The War-Doctor helped ease her down on one. His hand appeared in her field of vision, holding out a clean but frayed handkerchief. Rose stared at it.

"You actually have a handkerchief?" she asked in disbelief.

"I used to carry it around in my sleeve a long time ago," he said. "It comes in handy more times than you might think."

Rose laughed a little though there was no real joy in it. Like it was just a reflex to the joke. She took what he offered and used it to dry her tears away. She hadn't meant to fall apart. But at the look of betrayal on Ten's face she had. And she knew there was no way she could not have.

"So that is what I have to look forward to?" the Doctor in front of her said sadly. Rose nodded and snivelled.

"Yup," she confirmed. "Me breaking your heart."

"Forgive me, but you don't look to have fared much better," he pointed out.

"It doesn't matter," Rose said. He clasped her hand.

"Of course it matters," he told her softly. Rose drew in a hasty breath and got to her feet. She swayed and the Doctor immediately moved to steady her.

"You're alive," Rose said. "That's what matters."

"Is it?"

His question startled her. She looked up at him.

"Yes," she said with utter conviction. "Of course."

"But why?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why does my life come to mean so much?"

"You... you save people. You save entire worlds. The universe needs the Doctor."

"And why do you think it is I do all these things?"

"Because you can. Because you care...-"

"No," he interrupted her. "It's penance. Penance for what I do today." He reached out his hand and brushed a forgotten tear away from her cheek. Rose felt a shiver run through her. There was nothing passionate in the way he touched her. Only affection. But a great affection. Even though as he said, he had yet to know her. "And one day you will teach me just how much I sacrificed here today."

"I don't understand," Rose said.

"I told you, wolf girl. You are the proof. Proof there is still hope for us." The War-Doctor smiled sadly at her. "After seeing the destruction. All that we've done in this war... All that I've done... I was sure it was no longer possible. That it was even the reason we were capable of going so far. But we are still able. There is still hope."

Rose shook her head. "No," she said. "You say it destroys everything. Bonding... it... destroys everything."

"And I'm sure I'll believe it for a long time because it is what we're taught. Becoming a Time Lord means certain things are no longer possible. But they have to be. Or we'll be nothing better than the monsters we claim to fight."

His hand dropped. He turned away from her. Towards the box that still stood where they'd left it. Waiting patiently. Waiting to be used for what it was created and dreading the moment. The Doctor left Rose and walked over to it. He kneeled down, surveying it, trying again to work out how it functioned.

"Why is there never just a big button," he muttered. Rose drew a couple of deep breaths. She was going to need strength for this.

Reluctantly she walked over to the Doctor and that horrible box. She hunkered down next to him. She reached out and put her hand on the top of the box. As soon as she touched it the thing came alive. Gears began moving inside it, a faint light shining out between the cracks. She could feel the Doctor's eyes on her but she didn't turn to look at him. Her attention was on the box.

 _Hello, again_ , Rose thought sadly. She had never wanted to see the cursed thing ever again. The box transformed before their eyes. The War-Doctor and Rose stepped back as the gears shifted, creating new shapes, unfolding and rearranging. Until it showed them a big red button, shaped like a precious jewel.

"Well, you wanted a big button," Rose said.

"Yeah, I believe I did," the Doctor admitted. He glanced over at Rose.

"There might still be hope for them," he said, meaning the Time Lords. "But the rest of the universe needs the Doctor." He was echoing her words back at her and it almost made her weep. "How many lives do you think his penance have saved? His regret?"

The War-Doctor placed his hand over the beautiful red button. Why must things of destruction so often be beautiful? Rose thought sadly. Why couldn't they be as ugly as the deed itself?

"Doctor," Rose said, halting him. He looked back at her over his shoulder. "Don't," she said. "Don't do it."

"I have to," he said. "I'm sorry, but I have to."

"No, no you don't," Rose tried. "You've seen what this does to you. Just don't."

"There isn't time to convince the council," the Doctor said. "They'll burn the universe down in their war, in their madness."

Rose felt a wave of fear and regret from the box. The Moment didn't want to be used this way. This was never what she had wanted. The Time Lords had turned her into this. Made her good for nothing but bringing death. And despite the fact that she might rightly want revenge she didn't want them destroyed, which was something Rose could uniquely understand.

Rose's need to save the Doctor, the man she loved from an act which would haunt him forever joined with the box's own fear and together they did the impossible. Together they did the only thing Rose could think of.

"Doctor," she said again but he didn't turn to look at her this time. "You know that sound the TARDIS makes... That wheezing, groaning." She watched his shoulder's slump. "It brings hope," Rose said. "It brings hope wherever it goes."

And suddenly that wonderful sound seemed to fill the air. "Even to you," Rose said. The War-Doctor spun around.

"What did you do?" he asked. Rose took a step back.

"We brought them through," she said. "Maybe you'll listen to them."

Two TARDIS's materialised behind them. One was a clear bright blue and the other looked more faded and worn. She liked the latter better. She always would because it was her first. The two Doctor's stepped out of their respective TARDIS's. One in a slim suit and a long billowing coat. The other wore a shorter coat in tweed and a bowtie around his neck. Ten's eyes immediately found Rose as though drawn to her like gravity.

"Rose." He gave her a nod of his head.

"Doctor," she gave him a nod back, stepping away. It was their thing to sort out, she thought. Ten tore his eyes away from her and looked around the barn.

"We shouldn't be here," he said. "Gallifrey is time- locked. This isn't possible." Eleven glanced over at Rose and the War-Doctor confirmed what he was most likely already considering.

"Seems our girl pulled you through," he said.

All three of them turned to Rose.

"Perhaps you can convince yourself that this is a bad idea," Rose told them all. Because perhaps it would take three of them to come up with a better solution than ending the time war by destroying their home. The War-Doctor turned to the two older versions of himself.

"You should both go," he said. "Go back to your lives. Make all this worth while. Save people. Save worlds and..." His gaze shifted to Rose for a moment. "Take care of our wolf girl." He gave her a grin. A cocky one. But his bravado was fake. Rose could see it. He was being torn apart inside. He was set on what he thought he had to do and the pain of it was something no one was ever suppose to carry.

"We didn't come here to stop you," Ten said, his face set.

"We came because this time..." Eleven took a deep breath. "... you don't have to do this alone."

Both the Tenth Doctor and the Eleventh joined the one forged in war by that big red button. And Rose wanted to shout at them. She'd seen what this regret would cost him. He might end up saving millions but he would be destroying his birthplace, his people. However flawed they were they were a part of him. And if he tore that part out he'd suffer for it. Rose didn't want him to suffer. She'd caused him enough pain. She just wanted to give him something good. Or rather give him the chance of giving himself something good. But it seemed he was hellbent on his course. So Rose watched helplessly as the three Doctors put their hands over the button. The beautiful jewel button and pressed it.

Rose screamed as white hot pain exploded through her skull. She didn't even feel it as she hit the ground. For that one breath of a second she thought she might die. But she couldn't die. Who was going to take care of him if she died?

Then suddenly she blinked and the world around her was gone. She wasn't standing in a room. Or anything with walls or limits. It was white. All white. She had an eerie feeling she'd once seen something similar but somehow the complete opposite. The floor beneath her hands felt cool to the touch, smooth like marble but she couldn't distinguish any lines or irregularities in the surface. Something made her look up. Not far from her someone sat on the floor. Long waves of hair fell down her back, as pale white as the world around them. It was confusing enough that she seemed to vanish and Rose had to shift her vision in order to catch sight of her again.

"Who are you?" Rose called out. The girl rose from the floor and turned slowly around. She wore a clean cut long white dress. Her skin seemed to be almost washed clear of colour. Even her eyes were pale. The lines of her face spoke of a beauty too sharp to be human.

"I think you know who I am," the girl said, her voice sad. She raised her hand and her pale skin seemed to dissolve before Rose's eyes. Dissolve into glowing golden practicals Rose knew all too well. Huon particles. It was the same stuff that coursed through her veins. The same that filled the heart of the TARDIS. Rose suspected they even had something to do with a Time Lords ability to regenerate.

The glowing huon particles realigned themselves, back into pale marble skin.

"The Moment," Rose said as she stared at the girl. She nodded, clenching her reformed hand into a fist. A ripple seemed to travel through her. And her skin became less pale, her features less harsh. A hint of softness settled around cheekbones. Before her face had been too angular to be truly beautiful but with the lines softened and colour emerging beneath her pale skin Rose could see there was a quiet kind of beauty to her. The resigned kind.

"I only guess," the Moment said. "I don't really remember what I looked like anymore."

"Where are we?" Rose asked, looking around but nothing had changed. It was simply as white as the home of the oracles had been black. She started as the meaning of the thought struck her. The oracles. The beings that existed between time. The ones the Doctor had taken her too when she'd been dying. She usually didn't remember that so clearly.

"My prison," the Moment said, sweeping her arm out in a graceful arch.

"We're in the box?" Rose's brows drew together in confusion.

"In a sense," the girl said.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"I tried to show him," the Moment said. "Show him a way to save all those children. So he would never have to count them. But he wouldn't listen. This very moment he his activating it. Me."

"Then what is the point of this?" Rose wanted to know.

"The only one that can stop him now is you," the Moment said. Her voice had a soft, kind quality to it.

"How?" Rose asked.

"I showed you exactly what you had to see now you have to make him see it too."

"What? What did you show us?"

"Exactly what you had to see," she repeated.

Rose narrowed her eyes on the strange creature before her. The strange thing that could very well have been Rose. Could still be her.

"The Zygons?" Rose asked. The Moment nodded. "How could..." Rose trailed off. "The stasis cube? The paintings?" The Moment nodded again. "But how?"

"He'll know how."

"But if he's already doing it. If the three of them are pushing that bloody button right now how can I possibly stop them?"

"Your mind is linked to theirs through the bond. Only you can reach them in time," the Moment said. Rose nodded resolutely. "I am glad I got to meet you Bad Wolf." Rose started. She didn't like being called that. The Moment leaned her head a little to the side as she regarded Rose. "You might not like it but it is the name you chose," she said. "Just as your Doctor chose his. We all choose who we will be in the end."

Rose watched as the Moment gave her a sad smile.

"I have to ask," Rose said. "Why?" The smile fell from the Moment's face. "Why did they do this to you? I know you were punished but..."

"Great power and a great love can not walk hand in hand," she said sadly.

"Yes, but what happened?" Rose insisted. She wanted to know. She had to know.

The Moment's pale eyes fell to the floor that wasn't a floor.

"He lost me," she said. "It drove him mad and when I finally came back he was no longer the man I loved. The council wanted to punish him but they couldn't so they punished me instead. The bond is good for nothing but destruction they said and so they made sure that was all I would ever be able to do. Destroy. But for them. I was even their weapon against him. Ironic that I am now being used not to stop him but to stop them."

Rose felt her heart contract in sorrow and fear. The Moment raised her gaze again and with a few choice words confirmed that fear.

"You must know," she said. "If you do this. If you bring them back. They won't look kindly on what you've done."

Saving Gallifrey didn't just mean saving all those children. It meant saving a civilisation with all it's values and fears. And its laws. And as far as Rose knew, bonding was about the highest crime you could commit. And by the look on the Moment's face she knew that convincing them different might prove impossible.

But that didn't matter. She'd do it anyway. For him. To spare him pain. For the Doctor, there was nothing Rose wouldn't do.

"Just remember," the Moment said. "I didn't just show him what he had to see I showed him what he needed to see."

Rose watched as the white world vanished. She was slammed back into consciousness so hard she screamed out. But with that cry one single thought fired across the bond.

 _Gallifrey falls no more!_

Rose watched as all three of them froze. Eleven glanced back at her over his shoulder. His eyes narrowed on her and she watched as he slowly put the pieces together. The painting. The painting Kate had showed them. Elizabeth's credentials. Gallifrey falls or No more. Or simply, Gallifrey falls no more. The fall of Arcadia. That one moment. Frozen.

"Wait, stop," Eleven halted the other two. "She's right," he said. "We don't have to do this."

"What are you on about?" the War-Doctor asked. He didn't know about the painting. The phrase didn't mean the same to him.

"If we don't do this the universe will burn in their madness!" Ten insisted and Rose remembered him broken on the floor of an old mental hospital, screaming at the Master that the Time Lord's had gone mad in the final days of the war.

"No, no. You're not listening," Eleven insisted. "I've had a lot of time to think about this," he said. "And you know what? I change my mind."

Eleven pulled his screwdriver out of his jacket pocket and aimed it at the big red button. It lowered and shifted back inside the box.

"You can't possibly suggest we change our own personal history," Ten cut in.

"You change history all the time," Rose pointed out as she struggled to her feet. Ten turned his eyes on her. He looked surprised at finding her getting up from the ground. It had happened so quickly they had never even noticed she'd been gone. What had been several minutes to her had been nothing but a breath for them.

He turned back to the other two versions of himself. The War-Doctor was looking hard and disbelieving. Eleven practically looked giddy.

"There are still a million Daleks up there," Ten pointed out.

"Exactly," Eleven said with a grin, poking the Tenth Doctor on his shoulder. Ten looked far from amused. He was the version that had felt the pain of it the hardest, Rose thought. His ninth incarnation had still been steeped in battle, with the mind of a general. But Ten had been kinder. There was more compassion in him and therefore more capacity for pain.

And as far as Eleven went. Sometimes Rose thought he didn't even remember it. He was the one who chose to forget. But there was no forgetting now. And if they just put their clever heads together there would be no need for it.

Eleven held out his hands to the sides as though in invitation.

"Can't you see it?" he asked, the grin still on his face. One more moment and Ten's features slowly softened. Rose could see a spark light in his eyes. Rose turned her attention to the War-Doctor who still looked doubtful there could ever be a solution he'd not considered.

"She showed you just what you needed to see," Rose told him.

It took a moment then his face spread in a wonderful smile. Rose smiled with him.

"Oh, but that is brilliant!" Rose heard Ten call out. The smile on the War-Doctor's face widened and he actually laughed. It was a great rumbling sound.

"Bad Wolf girl, I could kiss you," he told her and Rose laughed with him. Both Eleven and Ten turned at the exact same time.

"There'll be none of that," Eleven said immediately, pointing a warning finger at his far younger self. Ten looked as though he agreed heartily with this.

"Oh, boys," Rose cut them off, before they could get into it. There was after all things to do.

They turned to her. She smiled at them all, her tongue peaking out between her teeth.

"Isn't there something you three should be doing?" she asked them. They all smiled back at her and in that moment she was absolutely certain. There would never be a version of him that she wouldn't love.

"Oh yes!" Ten called out with a big grin, actually jumping into the air. Eleven twirled around, a flurry of arms and floppy hair. He ran past Rose, clasping her hand in the process and pulling her with him towards his TARDIS. Rose squealed in delight and stumbled with him. But before Eleven could pull her inside Ten's familiar voice called out.

"Rose!" She leaned back out and saw him standing next to his own TARDIS. The one she missed. "I'll see you... after," he said, half a question half a statement. Rose nodded.

"Of course," she said. She flashed him a smile and disappeared inside the TARDIS after Eleven.

"All man the battle stations!" Eleven called out as he danced around the console. Rose felt giddy as she hurried over.

"Aye, Aye captain!'

Rose grinned at the Doctor and for a moment he started as though surprised. Then he grinned back at her.

"Time to change history," the Doctor said with a smile. He took off around the console, pulling levers and pressing buttons. He blew past Rose and for the first time in a long time Rose found she could pretend everything was alright. That they hadn't broken each others hearts and ruined everything that had ever been good between them. For now he was just the Doctor and she was Rose Tyler and they were going to do the impossible. They were going to change history. They were going to save his home. They were going to save Gallifrey.

"So how exactly does this work?" Rose asked him. The Doctor halted for a moment.

"Oh, you know it really is quite good," he said, looking rather pleased with himself. Then his gaze fell back down to the console. "Or absolutely bonkers depending on your, you know point of view."

Rose leaned over the console.

"Point of view?" she asked. He looked up, grinning at her.

"We're freezing Gallifrey," he said. "Just like the painting."

"Yeah?" Rose prodded. "And how are you planning on doing that?"

"That's the best part." The Doctor was absolutely giddy. He couldn't stay still.

He scurried around to the monitor, turning the dials and smiling at what he saw. "Calling Gallifrey High Command, this is the Doctor speaking!"

"Doctor?" Rose heard a severe but rather confused male voice ask back through the speakers. "What are you doing?" Then she heard Ten.

"Hello, also the Doctor," he announced. "Can you hear me?"

"Also the Doctor," came the War-Doctor's gravely voice. "Standing ready."

"Three of them?" Rose heard the severe male voice answer. "My worst nightmare."

"Who is that?' Rose asked the Doctor. He smiled over at her.

"That's the General. He commands the armed forces. We're excellent friends." Rose laughed.

"Yeah, sounds like it."

"General," Rose heard Ten's voice. "We have a plan."

"In fairness it is a rather terrible plan," Eleven admitted. Rose hung on to the console as the ship hurled through space.

"And it most certainly won't work," Ten added.

"I thought I pretty much covered it with, terrible plan," Eleven suggested.

"Sorry," Ten replied. "Just thinking out loud."

"Focus, boys," Rose reminded them.

"Yes, so we are flying our TARDIS's into your lower atmosphere," Eleven told the General.

"And positioning them at equidistant intervals around the globe," Ten added. Equidistant, Rose thought. That's a grown up word.

"And what exactly are you hoping to accomplish with this?" the General asked, sounding truly perplexed.

"We are going to freeze Gallifrey," the War-Doctor explained. "Just like the stasis cubes."

"A frozen moment in time," Eleven continued. "Safely tucked away in a pocket universe." Rose heard the General sputter in the speakers.

"You can't," he professed. "Even if such a thing was possible, which it isn't we'd be trapped. We'd have nothing."

"You'd have hope," Eleven said, a tinge of sadness to his tone. "Which is more than you have now."

"And the alternative is burning." The same sadness was in Ten's voice. "And I've seen that."

"Don't ever want to see it again," Eleven added.

"Moving into position," the War-Doctor announced.

"But no," the General tried to object. "A calculation like that would take hundreds of years."

"Yes," Ten agreed. "Hundreds upon hundreds."

"But don't worry," Eleven said. "I started a long time ago. You might say I've been doing it all my lives."

A new voice rang through the speakers. "Calling the war council of Gallifrey. "

"Who's that?" Rose asked, feeling a strange shiver run over her skin at the sound of the voice. Eleven smiled over at her.

"It's me," he said. Rose's lips spread in a brilliant smile.

"Can I see?" she asked. Eleven pressed several buttons as Rose hurried over to his side. The screen on the monitor split into several different pictures. All showing different men in different TARDIS's. But they weren't different at all. Not the man or the TARDIS. They were the same. They were the Doctor. They were all the Doctor. All of them.

"Good luck," said a version of the Doctor with dark hair and a dark suit.

"Standing by." This one had white hair, a velvet coat and a bowtie. Rose smiled at that. He didn't really change as much as he thought he did.

"Ready." He looked younger again, his hair a mass of wild auburn curls.

"Commencing calculations." That one looked like quite the gentleman, dressed very elegantly compared to the rest of them.

"Soon be there." That version of him was rather cute, Rose thought as she looked at the screen. She squinted at the picture. Was that a piece of celery on his jacket though?

"Across the boundaries that divide one universe from another." That time he seemed to rather favour question marks. If she wasn't mistaken they were all over his vest.

"Just got to lock on to his coordinates." He was older looking again with a amazingly garish multicoloured coat.

Rose knew it was coming and yet she was somehow not prepared for it.

"And for my next trick!" Her heart stopped in her chest as she heard the voice she still knew, that she'd never forget. Her eyes traced hastily across the screen until she found him. Big ears and leather jacket. If she closed her eyes she thought she could sometimes still remember exactly how that jacket smelled. That hint of smoke as though he'd just come out of a fire. It is what he'd been forged in after all.

"Can they see me?"Rose asked. "Can I talk to them?" Eleven smoothly positioned his arm in front of her cutting her off.

"No," he said. "Probably not a good idea."

"Why not?" Rose asked in surprise.

"Don't want one of them to knick you away right from under me now do I," Eleven told her. The smile on his face took the severity out of the words though Rose feared there was still something hidden behind his flippant smile.

A fear filled voice suddenly rang through the speakers.

"The Daleks!" it said. "They know something's happening! They're closing in!" Eleven's fingers ran rapidly over the keys. The picture on the screen changed showing them the orange planet of Gallifrey surrounded by so many Dalek ships they surely blocked out the sky. It was a mighty force. Bigger than Rose had ever seen.

"Just do it, Doctor," the General said, grudgingly admitting there was no other course left. "Do it."

Rose watched as several TARDIS's flew into Gallifrey's atmosphere, expertly dodging the Dalek ships. No matter which incarnation he was in the Doctor knew how to battle the Daleks. He knew how to fight them, even how to run from them. But he wasn't running now. This wasn't the time to run. It was the time to stand.

The TARDIS's circled the planet, drawing in as the Daleks fired up their guns.

"Now!" Eleven called out and pulled a lever down hard. The screen suddenly flared up. Bright light filled every inch of space, eating up Gallifrey in a giant explosion.

If Gallifrey vanished the Dalek ships would fire on each other, destroying themselves and to the rest of the universe it would seem as though they had all simply burned. Nothing would change. Yet, Rose hoped with all her heart it would. Then everything seemed to short circuit. Sparks blew out of the console. Rose stumbled back. Had it worked?

The Doctor clasped the console, reaching over and pressing a series of buttons. The ship shook violently and Rose had to clasp the railing to stay on her feet.

"Hang on," he told Rose. Something seemed to knock them to the side. The Doctor ran around.

"Did it work?" Rose asked him.

"Eh..." He reached across the console just managing to press some buttons almost out of reach. "Think so," he said. "I hope so." The ship shook again, the Doctor nearly loosing his grip and tumbling to the floor.

"Need help?" Rose asked him. He grabbed a hold of the console and pulled himself straight again.

"No," he said rather immediately. Rose rolled her eyes and rushed over to his side.

"You want us to die?" she asked.

"We're not going to die," he told her, scurrying away, pressing buttons.

"The way you drive it is just a matter of time," Rose said, quickly helping him. They were hurtling through the vortex now. Something seemed to have practically knocked them into it.

"Fine, just hold down that button over there," he said, pointing. Rose did as he bid. "Besides you're one to talk," he told her.

"What?" Rose asked. "I am an excellent driver."

"Dinosaurs, Rose," he told her. "Remember the dinosaurs." Rose smiled over at him.

"Who doesn't like dinosaurs?"

"Oh, they're a delight," the Doctor admitted, scrambling around. "Especially when they're trying to eat you. I love that about them."

"They didn't all try to eat us," Rose pointed out as the Doctor rushed past her.

"No, you're right, there were those who tried to trample us too. Can't forget those."

"You loved it," Rose told him with a smirk. He halted for a moment.

"I do love me a good Triceratops," he said, smiling dreamily. "You know I rode one once. On a spaceship. In space." The TARDIS shook again as though knocking him out of the memory and focusing him back on the moment at hand. "Oh, right," he exclaimed, reaching over the console and turning a few dials hastily. The Doctor grinned over at Rose just as the TARDIS slammed down in a rather rough landing.

Both Rose and the Doctor held on to the console.

"Where are we?" Rose asked.

"We should be back at the National Gallery," the Doctor said, fiddling with something. But he was on the other side of the console so Rose could not see with what. She made her way over to the monitor. She turned the dials. Some more sparks blew out of it but the screen flickered to life. It showed her the room outside. She smiled as she saw the Tenth Doctor and the War-Doctor stepping out of their respective TARDIS's.

Suddenly she felt Eleven behind her. Heat and electricity seemed to radiate off him as it always did whenever they were close. She'd know him with her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," she heard him whisper. She was just to turn around and ask him what exactly he was sorry for when his arm came around her, halting her. He kept her back against his chest. Before Rose could do anything she felt something cool against her neck.

"What...-" she began but never finished the sentence. The console room darkened before her eyes. "Doctor...?" She felt like she was falling despite the Doctor's arm around her. He eased her down gently as her knees gave out.

Rose could feel the floor at her back yet she was still somehow falling. Tumbling down a dark, bottomless hole. The Doctor's face, hovering over her was the last she saw before the darkness swept her away.

/

 **Sorry this took me so long. I've been away on vacation. Which I really needed. To be truthful I'm not sure where I stand with this story right now. Because I just don't ever seem to have the time to write. So I rush everything just to get it done and wrap everything up. But lately that just haven't really felt right.**

 **But there is another chapter waiting in the wings. I shall try and get it posted in the near future. But after that I'm just not sure what will happen. Maybe I'll wrap it up and give you guys an ending or I might take a break and return when I have time to do it properly. We'll see. Anywho, should be another chapter up in a couple of weeks! :)**

 **Have an absolutely marvellous day and I hope you'll bear with me!**


	58. Chapter 58 - Into the dark

**It was way to long since I've been on here. So many wonderful words from you! Thank you very much for all your kindness and your understanding. I know it can be ever so frustrating when updates take a looong time. I just want you to know that I will finish this no matter if it takes me forever! And not only for all of you amazing people who actually read this and those of you who are kind enough to take time to review, but for me too. I hope you enjoy this chapter even if it was a very long time coming.  
**

Chapter 58 - Into the dark

Rose woke up slowly, gradually. She felt the hard floor beneath her shoulder but her head lay on something soft that smelled oddly familiar. She turned her head and felt the rough tweed scrape a little against her cheek. She opened her eyes and struggled up. She was still in the console room. What on earth had happened? She looked around but the room was empty.

"Doctor?" she asked but got no response. She got up on her feet and her head immediately swam, forcing her to clasp the edge of the console to steady herself. That's when she saw him. She hadn't seen him before. He was standing by the doors, holding on to the handle with a death grip. "Doctor?" Rose asked again, taking a step towards him. He spun suddenly. He was in his shirt and waistcoat, his coat was on the floor having served as her pillow.

"Rose..." Her name seemed to fall of his lips as though he had no real control over it.

"What's going on?" Rose asked, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it. She ran her hand through her hair and brushed against something on her neck. She pulled it away and stared at it. A sleeping patch. "You... you put this on me?" she asked, looking up at him, betrayal playing in her eyes. "Why?"

A sudden bang echoed through the TARDIS. It took a moment for Rose's addled brain to recognise it as someone banging on the door. The Doctor flinched at the sound. "What are you doing?" Rose asked him, watching him wearily. He opened his eyes but did not look at her.

"I'm sorry," he said again. Rose clenched her fist with the sleeping patch in it and tossed the wrinkled remains to the floor.

"What are you doing?!" she barked out. His hand clutched the railing next to him and he didn't answer.

"Rose!" That was the Tenth Doctor's voice and at the sound of it Eleven looked as though someone had punched him in the gut. "Rose!" He banged on the door outside. Rose made a split second decision. She ran for the doors.

But Eleven reached out and caught her. She slammed into him.

"What are you doing?!" she shouted at him.

"Rose..." he tried in a reasonable voice.

"What are you doing!?" she repeated, not interested in reasonable.

"You can't go out there!" He shouted back in her face. Rose felt cold spread throughout her body.

"Why?" she asked. But the Doctor just shook his head. "Why?" she repeated. "Why!?"

"He wont' let you go."

Rose tore herself free from his hold and he positioned himself right between her and the door.

"What are you talking about?" Rose asked. Eleven just kept shaking his head as though anything else was simply too hard to do. "Doctor!"

"He won't risk it." he said, still not looking at her. "He won't risk losing you again." Rose took a step back.

"You're crazy," she said.

"I am not crazy," Eleven ground out between his teeth.

"He wouldn't just take me away!" Rose screamed. "Surely that would create a paradox or... something! He wouldn't...!"

Eleven's gaze flickered up to Rose's. It was filled with a sick twisted jealousy.

"He didn't do it," Eleven interrupted Rose.

"What?"

"He didn't marry Elizabeth. He refused."

Rose just stared. But he had to.

"But then time would be rewritten," Rose stuttered, trying to smother the hint of elation that flared in her chest. He hadn't done it. This time he hadn't married someone else. She knew it shouldn't make her happy but a part of her was even as she knew what it would mean. "We won't end up back there. I won't see him again."

But Eleven shook his head. "You will, trust me. He made sure of that." Rose saw the jealousy, dark and poisonous move in Eleven's eyes. When he'd been his tenth incarnation he had refused to marry Elizabeth but as the eleventh had married River. He had not said no and Rose realised that despite everything he hated himself a little for it.

"That doesn't mean he'd do something like this now... it..," Rose tried the get a grasp on the situation.

"It does," Eleven assured.

"No," Rose denied. "You're being ridiculous." She moved to get past him. But he grabbed her around the waist and pushed her back again. Rose growled in frustration.

"I know him!" he screamed at Rose. "He is me! I am him!" Rose just stared at the Doctor in front of her as the other one pounded on the door again. "I know how I felt after I lost you back then! I know! He won't do it! Not again. Not when you're this close." Eleven shook his head. "He won't."

"But you told him... what I did. You told him I leave you," Rose said as she stared at him. Eleven's gaze moved back up to hers.

"That is the man that was willing to rip the universe apart for a chance to save you!" He pointed back towards the door. "There is nothing he won't do! Nothing he won't risk!"

"No," Rose shook her head, refusing to believe it. "We weren't even like that then... I..-"

"You might not have been," the Doctor cut her off. "But I was. I could deny it while I still had you with me but after I lost you? There was no lying anymore. No one left to lie to. I loved you like I've never loved anyone before! It was like burning and drowning all at once!" The Doctor took a step towards Rose. "Just please, trust me when I tell you that he'd turn the world to ashes if it meant keeping you."

Rose wrapped her arms around herself. She was so very cold.

"I think you're overreacting," she said, though her voice lacked her previous conviction. The Doctor sighed.

"I've been where he is," he said. "I know exactly what I was capable of."

"Can I at least say goodbye?" Rose asked, shivering.

"I can't let you open that door," the Doctor said with a shake of his head.

"Through the door then."

The Doctor watched her wearily for a moment and then reluctantly conceded.

"It's not like I would have gone with him," she said as she passed the Doctor.

"Yes, you would have," he said sadly, his voice so quiet she barely even heard him.

Rose walked up to the door, putting her hand against the familiar wood. She didn't try to open it.

"Doctor?" she asked, a slight tremor to her voice.

"Rose?" was the immediate response. "Rose, is that you?"

"Yeah."

"Open up," he said.

Rose took a deep breath, leaning her head against the door. "I can't."

"Rose, come on, I just need to see you one more time before..." he trailed off, clearly unable to finish the thought, let alone the sentence. "Please, Rose."

"He might believe that," the Doctor behind Rose said. "But when it comes down to it he won't be able to do it."

Rose drew in a snivelling breath, fighting back tears.

"You'll see me again soon," she said through the door. It was so hard for her to believe that he would take her away, essentially from himself. He wasn't that desperate. Not that heartbroken. But just as the thought formed she remembered as they'd sat in her room on the TARDIS and he'd told her what he done in order to save her life and she felt doubt. She'd seen what he'd risked. Seen what would have happened had she not been able to contain the power he'd poured into her. It would have obliterated galaxies. And he'd been willing to risk all that for a chance. Her life for a million, billion faceless ones.

"How long?" she heard from the other side of the door.

"Not long," Rose assured him sadly. It was a lie. If he'd just lost her it would take a long time before she was able to return to him.

"I won't remember this," he said.

"I'm sorry," was all Rose could think to say in return. She wished she could see his face again. His stupid, beautiful face with its delicate bones and easy smile.

"I won't remember what we've done. I won't know what we've shared."

Rose sighed. "You don't now either," she reminded him. "It hasn't happened for you yet. What you feel is just an echo." He laughed without humour.

"If this is just an echo," he said. "The real thing must be enough to make the stars themselves weep."

Rose laughed with him, a sad tinge to the sound. "It is," she confirmed.

"Even now?" he asked. Rose glanced back at the Doctor behind her. He stood by the console, watching her with eyes that revealed nothing.

"Yes," she said so quietly she wasn't sure if anyone even heard her. But it was the truth all the same. She wouldn't trade one blissful moment despite all that followed. Not one.

"Then why do you leave me?"

At those few words Rose feared he'd broken her heart all over again. Or what little that was left of it. To hear that from the version of him she'd known so well. The version of the Doctor she'd finally been allowed to love. It was like someone reaching in and stopping her heart dead in her chest.

Rose fought back tears, her forehead leaning against the wooden door she couldn't open. She heard him whisper her name again. She drew in a hasty breath.

"Yes," she answered shakily, knowing she had no answer for him.

"You know, I'll forgive you anything," the tenth Doctor said. "The way I feel about you it won't ever change, you know that right? It won't matter what you do to me." Rose clutched her hands into fists.

"You don't know what I'll do," she told him.

"Rose, if I did this..." he trailed off. She could hear him take a deep breath as he struggled to find the right words. "If I went this far with you there is no turning back for me," he finally said. "There never can be."

Then suddenly the TARDIS powered up. Rose started, straightening. She looked back over her shoulder.

"Time to go," Eleven said.

"Rose?" she could hear Ten's panicked voice on the other side. "Rose!"

I'm sorry, she tried to say but no sound left her lips. She couldn't make her voice work, He was still screaming her name as they vanished, hurtling back inside the vortex.

"That was cruel," Rose said without turning around.

"Drawing it out would just have made it worse," the Doctor replied from behind her. "Trust me." For a moment Rose just stood there, leaning her forehead against the TARDIS door. She could hear the Doctor moving around behind her. He didn't come to her. Didn't try to comfort her. Perhaps he didn't care.

She tried to tell herself not to be angry. She told herself over and over as she stood there but eventually realised the futility of it and spun around.

"I didn't mean it was cruel to him!" she spat. "At least he'll forget it in a moment. It was cruel to me!" She watched as the Doctor froze. His floppy dark hair hung over one eye and the rest of his face was concealed by the time rotor. "Why would you do that? Why?' He shook his hair out of his eyes and glanced up at her. She could tell by the look on his face that he still thought he'd done the right thing. Rose leaned back against the TARDIS door. "I wouldn't have gone with him," she said again, her eyes on the ceiling overhead. She could hear the Doctor returning to fiddling with the console.

"I asked you to stop lying," the Doctor said. His voice was hard. Rose lowered her head and looked over at him. He was turning dials in hasty, angry motions. "I'm sick of it." He pressed a few keys so hard Rose feared he might break them. "You left me because I wasn't him. Because you loved him and you couldn't love me. And you want me to believe that when he miraculously shows up you won't go with him?" His head flicked up and he fixed her with a hard glare, hard enough to freeze her where she stood. "You think me a fool!" he screamed at her, making Rose jump.

The Doctor rounded the console, every step he took wrought with anger.

"And I should have done what exactly?!" he barked. "Let you?" His face was turning red he was so angry. "Do you have any concept of how much that would have hurt?" He came stalking over to her. His demeanour growing steadily calmer. But calm with a seething rage. Calm was worse. "Do you? Hm?" Rose turned her face away from him. "And you want to put me through that?" he asked, trying to catch her eye. "Or didn't you stop to think about me at all?"

"Doctor..." Rose tried.

"Did you!?" he screamed, his voice filled with a fear and anger that vibrated through her bones. Rose turned her face back to his.

"Of course I did!" she shouted back at him, sick of him thinking she could just abandon him, not considering that he actually had cause to think that. "Which is why I never would have left!"

"You went to him! Instantly," the Doctor pointed out. "I know how much you loved... " He didn't finish and Rose knew he stumbled over the word 'me'. Because that's who he was. Nine, Ten, Eleven, War it didn't matter. They were all him. Only the man in front of her thought that to her there was a distinction because that is what she'd led him to believe. Like she could love any part of him less than another.

"You don't understand," Rose tried to say.

"I understand just fine," he ground out, putting one fisted hand on the wood next to her. "I was there, remember?"

"No, you don't understand," she insisted. "I'm not going to leave you. I can't. I never could."

"You did!"

"No, I didn't!" Rose said. "I was always there, you know I was."

"Oh, you were, were you?"

"Yes."

"What about Demon's run?" His voice was dripping with darkness. It had been a dark day after all. "Where were you then, Rose?"

Rose looked up at him, staring unflinchingly into his burning gaze.

"I was right there," she told him. "And I tried, I tried so hard. Madam Kovarian had Melody and I tried to stop her but..." Rose reached down and pulled up her shirt, revealing a very distinct scar right next to her navel. The Doctor looked thoroughly surprised at seeing it. It didn't surprise her however that he'd failed to notice it. That night they'd spent together had been nothing but a whirlwind of grief and passion.

He carefully reached out his hand. Rose could almost feel her skin tingling in anticipation of his touch. But he halted before he reached her, letting his hand fall.

"It was one of the headless monks," Rose explained, her voice not quite steady. "It came up behind me. I didn't see it." She dropped her shirt back down and the Doctor withdrew, backing away from her. "I was there when you locked Amy in the Pandorica," she continued. "I dragged Rory out of London. The Daleks and Winston? I made him swear not to tell you I was there. Venice and fish people! The Silence! More bloody Daleks!" It was all pouring out of her now. All the times she'd rushed across the universe to save him. How every time she had to force herself to stay in the shadows and not be seen when all she'd wanted was to run to him. "I was there in Utah too in case you were wondering," she said. "Lake Silencio? Where you died! I chased endless leads all across the universe to find a way to stop it. I was so scared I was actually going to lose you."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why did you run across time and space to try and save me? Why would you do that? You left me."

Rose turned away from him. She opened her mouth to speak the words even knowing they were going to be a lie.

"The truth," he said as though he'd read her mind and Rose spun hopelessly towards him.

"What truth?!"

"Just tell me!"

"What is it that you want to hear, Doctor?" she asked, a desperation in her voice she couldn't mask. He didn't know what he was asking for. "That I didn't want to leave you?" Rose threw out recklessly when he didn't say anything. "Is that what you want?" She looked at the Doctor, feeling as though every word was torn from her heart . "Or that I had to be locked up in a cell for months because the pain was so bad I was a danger to everyone around me? That being apart from you nearly killed me? Is that it? It that what you want to hear?"

"I want the truth," he said again.

"Fine." Her voice turned dark because that is what the truth was. A dark, bottomless pit. "How about the fact that I actually broke your heart on purpose?" Rose watched as the Doctor flinched. And with that flinch she felt her own heart twist inside her chest. "How every single word I spoke on that beach was deliberate?"

The Doctor fell back a step as though he'd received a physical blow. As though she'd actually struck him.

"Deliberate?" he managed to get out. "You..." He swallowed hard. "You did that to me on purpose?" There was disbelief in his words. Even now he couldn't quite believe it of her. It was one thing to leave him because she could no longer love him. It was a whole different matter to intentionally cause him pain.

"I had to," Rose said. His questioning gaze flickered up to hers and at the look in his eyes Rose suddenly realised she had to get out of there. Because how could she deny him what he asked for and how could giving it not break her? In that instant she knew she wasn't going to be able to carry this. Not now, maybe not ever.

So Rose scrambled away, running on instinct. But the Doctor caught her before she got very far. He wasn't going to let it go this time. He wasn't going to let her run.

"You had to?" he growled, yanking her an inch closer. "Answer me!" he demanded when she said nothing. Her gaze moved slowly up to his. She couldn't deny him.

"Of course I had to," Rose managed to say, her voice filled with heartbreak as she felt her eyes well up with a lifetime's worth of unshed tears. "How else were you going to fall in love with River?"

The Doctor just stared at her, his eyes flickering between hers as though within them he could find some better answer than the one she'd given. But there was no better answer. There was only this.

"Rose, what have you done?" Broken hope bleed through the words and Rose knew that if she let them they had the power to rip her apart.

Rose tore free from the Doctor's hold. "I saved you life," she told him, stepping back and nursing her arm to her chest. He hadn't hurt her. Not physically. But it seemed easier to focus on the fading imprint of his fingers as they'd clutched her arm than the ache in her chest. "That's what I did."

"I don't know what you think..-" the Doctor began but Rose quickly interrupted him.

"Lake Silencio," she said. "If I'd stayed with you, you would have died there. You needed River not me. And you never would have seen her if I had stayed with you." The Doctor watched every small move Rose made.

His mouth worked. He swallowed and swallowed again as though he was trying to swallow her words, trying to accept them. But she could tell he couldn't. He couldn't at all.

"You are telling me you left me, hurt me to save me from some imagined, future threat?"

"I had to," Rose said again like it had become a mantra.

"Are you mad?!" he suddenly screamed. He pushed his hair out of his face, turning away from her as though he could not bear to look at her only to spin back again. "Do you have any idea what you did to me?!"

Rose squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut him out. All that pain breaking up his voice. Memories of nights spent alone thinking he wasn't wanted. That she didn't want him. But there was no shutting him out. His words echoed inside her skull, burning through her blood with the knowledge of exactly what she'd done. "You didn't just break my hearts, Rose! You broke my faith! My faith in you, in myself, in everything!" Rose shook her head.

"I know but... you had Amy, you had River and Rory. You...-" she tried.

"None of them are you, Rose!" he interrupted angrily. "I didn't tie my damn soul to any of them did I?!"

"But you needed them. They saved you. They all saved you." Suddenly he was there, holding her arms as tightly as the Tenth version of him had done not long ago. Holding on when there was nothing left to do but let go.

"I needed you!" he screamed, shaking her. Rose kept her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to see what was in his. "I needed you to be there after I regenerated! I needed you to assure me of who I was! Do you have any idea how it felt that you rejected me?! I've never been more scared in my life!" Rose struggled to breathe past the constriction in her throat but she couldn't seem to catch her breath. "I trusted you and you broke me!" He shook her again. "Look at me!" he demanded desperately.

Rose forced her eyes opened, forcing herself to face the destruction she'd wrought. Her eyes met his and what she saw in them was a raw, naked anguish that turned his beautiful green eyes pale and fragile like a stained glass window about to crack.

"How could you do that?" he breathed as he stared at her, sounding so horribly betrayed.

"You would have died," she told him and wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry at the irony of those words. Because that is exactly what he had told her after he'd risked everything to save her life. It had been his only defence and now it was hers. She managed a couple of short shallow breaths. "I love you," she said. "I couldn't let you die."

At that he instantly released her. The minute he did Rose felt her knees nearly buckling. It wouldn't take much for her to fall. It would take nothing at all.

At first it seemed as though the Doctor would simply walk away without another word but then he halted. He turned his head towards her.

"You do not love me," he told her. His voice was soft. So soft and that somehow made it worse. So much worse. "You don't do that to people you love." Rose fought to stay upright, knowing she wouldn't be able to for more than a second longer. "Don't you dare ever say that to me again. Not ever."

And he walked away. The minute Rose felt him disappear inside the TARDIS she fell to the floor, just managing to catch herself on her hands and knees. She fought to breathe. Her head was spinning and she couldn't breathe. She felt actual physical pain rake through her chest. She wanted to scream but she couldn't get any air.

She'd been right. She couldn't carry it. She'd known. Ever since she left him on that beach she knew there was no going back. That she was destroying something valuable and precious that could never be mended. She'd known and yet deep down in the most hidden corners of her heart there had still been a sliver of hope. Just a whisper that somehow he'd be able to forgive her one day. If she could just make sure he lived they could find their way back to each other. But there was no going back. There never was.

Rose parted her lips, a scream tearing itself out from the very core of her. But it was a silent one. Because there was no sound for the pain. No words to describe the loss. She clutched at her chest as she fought to breathe. But she couldn't. She couldn't get enough air. No matter how many gulping breaths she forced down her throat she couldn't get enough air. She had to get out. She had to get of this ship or she was going to suffocate.

Rose crawled over to the console and used it to somehow pull herself back up. She reached over, pulled a lever and immediately felt the ship change direction. She scrambled away around the console.

You don't do that to people you love.

The Doctor's words rang ruthlessly inside her head. Over and over again.

Not to people you love.

Her hands were shaking as they ran frantically over the keys. She set coordinates she knew well. If she didn't have the Doctor it was the only place left in this universe that might be home. And no matter how kind some of the people there had been it had never actually been a home. It had been a way station for when she might be allowed to come home. Because her home was the Doctor. It had been for a long time. Except he didn't want her anymore. After all, how could he after what she'd done. Rose stumbled around the console, trying desperately to stay on her feet as she flew the TARDIS.

"Where are you taking my ship?" she heard the Doctor ask. He sounded somehow far away.

"T..thought you left," Rose stammered, stumbling and catching herself against the console. It was like her legs had fallen asleep.

"Rose? Where are you going?" he asked again. Rose pressed a series of buttons, but her vision was a little hazy and so she pressed the wrong ones. The ship shook and Rose could practically feel the TARDIS's objection over the treatment. Rose wanted to tell her sorry. She hadn't meant to hurt her. She hadn't wanted to hurt the Doctor. She'd never wanted to hurt anyone. But her mind was a scramble. Then suddenly the Doctor was there, quickly stabilising their flight pattern. "Shadow proclamation?" he asked, checking the coordinates she'd set. Rose actually wasn't sure if she wanted to go there or if she needed to. Months of struggling to contain the energy swirling inside her blood without the Doctor had eventually made her good at it. But perhaps she wasn't that good. Perhaps she needed to go back inside that cell. Perhaps that was where she should stay. A wolf in a cage.

Rose returned to the console, trying to take over the controls from him, afraid he'd take them somewhere else.

"I... need to," she mumbled. "You promised I could go back." She felt the Doctor watching her but she didn't meet his gaze. She might never be able to again.

"I did," he admitted. "And I will take you there if you tell me why you want to go so badly." Rose made her way around the console, more careful with what she pressed.

"I told you," she said. "I have to say goodbye. I'm not just going to leave. That's what you do, not me."

He said something but Rose wasn't listening to him. There was nothing more to listen to. He had made everything abundantly clear. She didn't love him because you didn't hurt the people you loved. And she'd hurt him. It didn't matter that she'd hurt herself just as much in the process or that he'd hurt her too. The War Doctor was wrong. The bond wasn't a sign of hope. The bond was nothing but shared agony.

"Just take me back," Rose said, realising in her current state she might not be able to do it herself. She clutched the edge of the console, still struggling to breathe. It felt like nothing was working like it should.

"Rose..." he began.

"Take me back!" she told him more forcefully. This conversation was done. There was nothing left to say. Rose watched him reluctantly land the TARDIS. One look at the monitor told her he'd hit the coordinates she'd set perfectly. Shouldn't even be more than a week or so since she'd left. Rose hurried over to the doors, wanting nothing more in that moment than to escape because she feared if she stayed she'd pour her broken heart out. All the pain swirling inside her gut would drain out of her like blood from an open wound. But as she reached the doors she halted.

"You were wrong you know," she said. The Doctor didn't say anything so she wasn't' sure he heard her. But she continued anyway. "The past you, I mean. The tenth you. He said you would forgive me anything. He was wrong."

"It's not about forgiveness," she heard the Doctor say behind her. He shook his head. "I love you, Rose. I'll love you until the day I die. Nothing is ever going to change that. But I can't trust you feel the same because I don't think you do anymore. Saying you do is just a lie. And I think we've had enough of that now, don't you?"

Rose noticed she was clutching the doorknob so tightly it was beginning to hurt. She forced herself to ease her hold. She took a breath and yanked the door opened. The minute she stepped outside it was like getting knocked back. Rose gasped. She'd forgotten. Seems not even her brain was working right. The TARDIS helped her keep control, proximity to the time vortex levelled her out and she'd just walked away from it. She clutched the corner of the TARDIS, struggling. She needed to stay calm. She couldn't panic. She could do this because there was no way she was going back inside. Rose held on to the TARDIS as she let memories trail through her mind. Good memories. Her mother bandaging a skinned knee, her and Mickey walking down the street laughing, James telling her a joke about two Cybermen walking into a pub, dancing in the TARDIS with the Doctor long before all this. All the things that had helped her through those lonely years without him, without her family.

Slowly Rose regained some level of control. But she couldn't seem to push the energy all the way back. The pain in her heart was too raw. She raised her head and as she did immediately noticed something was wrong. It was quiet. Far too quiet. The Doctor had parked the TARDIS in a hallway. The lights were out except for a section up ahead were it flickered ominously, like a warning.

Rose pushed the pain further back by sheer force of will. Gradually starting to breathe easier. On some level she knew she was following the Doctor's example. Keep running. Don't stop. Always keep you eyes ahead because one glance behind was enough to cripple you if you let it.

Except Rose wasn't the Doctor and she knew she wouldn't be able to do it forever. But for now she could. She had to. Because something was wrong and she needed to find out what.

So Rose made her way towards the light, leaving the Doctor and the TARDIS behind. She walked carefully, listening for any sound out of place. She thought she could hear an alarm blaring far off. Rose stopped at the edge of the light. She looked beyond it but saw only darkness, vague shapes and shadows. Some deep rooted instinct or echo of foresight urged her not to go but she had friends here. No matter the danger or how horrible she felt at the moment she couldn't abandon them if they were in trouble. She stepped into the light, walking on, letting the shadows once again envelop her.

Rose followed the sound of the alarm. Her eyes grew steadily more accustomed to the dark when suddenly she heard a very distinct bing as from an elevator arriving. At that same instant someone grabbed her and yanked her back. She would have called out in sheer surprise but the Doctor clamped his hand over her mouth. She could feel it was him, the way her skin sparked with awareness. She'd know him blindfolded.

The Doctor pulled her back as one set of elevator doors opened up ahead. Light spilled out of them but nothing else. Everything returned to absolute stillness, the distant alarm and the frantic beating of Rose's heart the only sound filling her ears. She twisted free of the Doctor. He reached for her as she moved towards the elevator.

"Rose!"he growled, his tone hushed. But she paid him no mind. She walked slowly over to the pool of light. The Doctor was right behind her, she could feel it, the way the beat of his dual hearts somehow echoed inside her. If she let herself she could become aware of every single thing about him. His breathing, his movements, every shift in the air between them. But she couldn't let herself. Not with the way she was feeling. Not with the energy inside her so close to the surface. He'd probably already been able to sense something wasn't quite right with her. When touching it was still nearly impossible to keep the walls up. Despite practice.

Rose found herself once again hesitating in the light. You could be seen in the light. You saw things in the light. She took a deep breath and moved so she could look into the elevator. It was empty. Perfectly empty. She could hear the Doctor breathe a sigh of relief behind her. Just like her he'd clearly expected something else. Rose walked slowly into the elevator, not sure why the doors were not closing. Why they were just standing there, open and waiting.

"Rose, perhaps you shouldn't..." the Doctor tried again. Rose treaded carefully as she stepped into the brightly lit elevator. She turned around, seeing the Doctor waiting just outside.

"There's nothing," she said. Something suddenly crashed from overhead.

It knocked into Rose, sending her sprawling to the floor. Heavy but not hard. She vaguely heard the Doctor call out as she twisted around. The minute she did she wished she hadn't. Horrible dead eyes were staring back at her. Judoon eyes. The Doctor was there, quickly pulling the dead Judoon off her. He grunted with the effort. The minute the weight was off, Rose scrambled back, eager to be away. She never thought she could get used to dead bodies. Human or alien it was still horrible. Her eyes flickered up to the ceiling. There was a hatch, probably used for maintenance. That seemed to be where the Judoon had fallen from.

The Doctor hunkered down next to the corpse. "You ok?"he asked Rose, getting the sonic out of his pocket and running the green tip quickly over the dead Judoon. He flicked the sonic up, the claws at the end extending as it gave him the readings.

"What happened to him?" Rose asked instead of answering. The Doctor pushed the sonic back together and put it inside his pocket.

"Don't know," he said, surprising Rose. It was rather rare that he didn't know. The Doctor inspected the Judoon. "His blood boiled."

"What?" Rose stuttered.

"Blew up his heart." The Doctor got to his feet. He held out his hand for Rose. She didn't take it but rose on her own. The Doctor let his hand fall, his gaze slipping from her.

"What could do that?" Rose asked.

"Nothing good," the Doctor muttered and left the elevator.

Rose hurried after him. "Like what for example?"she asked after him, keeping her tone low. Rose stayed in the light while the Doctor was eaten up by the shadows. As he vanished she couldn't help but remember the Emperica and the Vashda nerada. Shadows that consumed living flesh. That was where they'd met River. That was when Rose first knew she would end up leaving the Doctor. Leaving him and breaking both their hearts. Something neither of them was likely to ever recover from.

"Doctor?" Rose asked into the darkness. But there was no response. "Doctor!"

Rose looked around, she felt exposed in the pool of pale light and the Judoon was still lying dead in the elevator. She supposed that was good in a way. She wouldn't actually want him to rise up, his hollow, dead eyes staring at her.

Rose shook the unnerving feeling such a thought brought. The dead weren't coming back to life to haunt the living. She was just letting her imagination run away with her.

"Doctor!"she called just a little louder into the black. But there was still no response. She left the light and ventured after him into the darkness. What else was there for her to do? In the end she'd follow him anywhere.

The alarm could still be heard in the distance. A constant reminder that something was horribly wrong. Rose made her way down the darkened hallways. By now she could barely see a thing so she let her hand trail along the wall to keep her on the right track. The walls were made of a smooth material, white and featureless. Until Rose drew her hand through something wet and sticky. She stopped, looking down at her hand. But it was too dark for her to tell what she'd accidentally drawn her fingers through. She rubbed it between her fingertips. Suddenly she froze. She thought for a second she'd heard a sound out of place. A metallic sort of groaning. Rose twirled around.

Far behind her she could see the light from the elevator spilling out onto the floor. It looked as though the light was floating in the blackness of space. From where Rose stood the darkness seemed infinite. Rose had been in space more times than she could count. She had no problem sitting on the TARDIS doorstep, her legs dangling freely and watching the stars. Space didn't frighten her. But this did. This kind of darkness did.

There was no more noise. Perhaps she'd imagined it. Rose reached out her hand, searching for the comfort of the wall again when something grabbed her. She cried out, trying to twist free before she felt that familiar tingle running over her skin.

"Rose? What are you doing?" The Doctor.

"Looking for you," she whispered. The Doctor pulled out the sonic. The weak green light lit up his face, casting shadows underneath his eyes and in the hollow of his cheeks. For a second she felt a pang of fear. Not of him but for him.

"Come on," he said. "This way." He turned around. Rose got a hold of his sleeve and pulled him back.

"Wait."

"What?"

Rose held up her hand in the green light. Red blood glistened on her fingertips. She took the Sonic out of the Doctor's hold. He sputtered some objection as she hurried back to the wall. More blood.

"Rose, what...?"the Doctor began but fell silent as he reached her side. He got close, inspecting the blood. "It's fresh," he said.

"Hang on." Rose changed the settings on the sonic screwdriver, the green light intensifying and the whirring sound rising in cadence. She stepped back.

On the wall was smeared one word in dark, dark crimson.

H E L P

"You mind telling me what you think killed that Judoon now?" Rose asked, trying and failing to keep her voice from trembling.

"Something bad," the Doctor said as they both stared at the bloody message on the wall.

"Just how bad?"

"In..." the Doctor swallowed hard. "In the beginning. Before they were perfected, Daleks killed like that. The exterminator gun it... it wasn't as powerful. It took longer, causing the blood to boil and eventually the heart to..."

"I get the picture," Rose interrupted. "But... the Judoon. There was no blood though."

"No, there wasn't," the Doctor agreed. "This is something else and I have no idea what."


	59. Chapter 59 - The ones we left behind

Chapter 59 - The ones we left behind  


A screeching, mechanical noise cut through the darkness. The Doctor and Rose started.

"Ah, maybe we should go, yeah?" Rose suggested as they both frantically looked around, trying to find the source of the noise.

"Think you might be right," the Doctor agreed, snatching the screwdriver out of her fingers. "This way," he said, heading off. "Found some stairs."

"Stairs are good." Rose followed the green light of the sonic, feeling the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end. There was something down there with them. Something not right.

Rose kept looking around but with nothing but the faint green light she couldn't see much of anything.

"Doctor..." she said carefully. "I don't like this."

"And you think I do?" He asked back over his shoulder in a hushed voice. "Last time we were running around in the dark we nearly got eaten," he pointed out. Rose didn't even know exactly to what he was referring, too much fitting the description. The Doctor turned down another hallway, walking through an archway. But the minute he did the green light suddenly vanished right in front of Rose, the world plummeting into complete darkness.

"Doctor!" Panic filled Rose's voice, fear quickly chasing her heart into a frantic rhythm. She reached out her hands in front of her, but he wasn't there. "Doctor!" She couldn't see. Couldn't hear anything. She took a few careful steps, fumbling in the dark. "Doctor?!"

A hiss, something between the sound of chalk against a chalkboard and rusty hinges rose up behind her. She froze. Shivers ran all over her skin. Her heart beat so fast she thought it might stop. Her hands balled into fists, ready to fight. She twirled around. But there was nothing there. Even though she could barely see anything she knew there was nothing there. But there had been.

Rose backed up. She tried to stop struggling to see and focused on listening instead. Something was moving in the darkness. But why wasn't it attacking? It must have attacked the Doctor. At the thought of him hurt Rose felt her stomach twist into a knot and fire rise in her chest. She took a careful breath and let some of the walls down. Right now doing so was beyond dangerous. She was hurting which meant control was far from assured. But letting down some of the barriers meant she could feel him.

Rose relaxed her mind, allowing the strings tying her and the Doctor together to spark off. She let them guide her. All the while listening for any sound of whatever was down there with them.

The Doctor was close. She could sense him. Just off to the side. That snarling hiss rose again and Rose twirled around towards it. She couldn't understand why it wasn't attacking her. Perhaps it couldn't see any better than she could. Rose's foot pumped into something. She kept looking around as she hunkered down. She felt along the floor, quickly finding one shoe attached to a leg. Her hands scrambled up his body until they reached his face. Her skin sparked with awareness. The Doctor. He was lying on the floor. Not moving.

 _Doctor_? Rose asked across the bond, sending the thought from her mind to his. _Doctor_! The force of the thought snapped him awake. He groaned. _Shhh_ , she thought hastily. He instantly became quiet. _I don't think it can see much better than we can,_ Rose told him, even her thoughts hushed.

 _What can't see_? she heard the Doctor inside her head. Rose had forgotten how easy it could be to speak like this. How effortless.

 _How should I know_? Rose asked back. She felt the Doctor's fingers wrap around hers. There was strength in his grip assuring her he wasn't too hurt.

 _Get up,_ the Doctor told her. They both struggled to their feet, neither letting go of the other. Hissing and snarling could be heard at the edge of the room. Rose got the feeling it was searching. _Time to test that theory of yours_.

Rose suddenly heard the sound of the sonic and for one second a lamp at the other side of the room lit up only to instantly blow out. But it had been enough for them to see. See the flicker of something born out of a nightmare. A creature of flesh and metal, and claws.

The Doctor's hand tightened painfully around Rose's as he pulled her back. She could feel fear swirling inside him, enough to match her own. As the light had lit they'd both seen the creature bound towards it. The light attracted it. They needed to stay in the darkness. As they drew back they could hear it moving, searching.

Suddenly the Doctor yanked her around and they ran. Rose heard the minute that something in the shadows turned and rushed after them.

Both Rose and the Doctor ran flat out through the black. Rose could see nothing, briefly wondering if the Doctor might be better off than her. Probably not that much better for they almost ran straight into a wall. For a second the Doctor let go of Rose. She turned towards the creature bounding across the room for them. She couldn't see it but she could hear it, metal grinding against metal. Feel it rushing towards them as the smell of death and decay filled the air. The whirring of the sonic seemed a distant thing beneath the strange mechanical snarling hurtling towards them.

Then Rose heard the click of a lock and the Doctor recaptured her hand, pulling her with him through a doorway a mere second before something big and heavy crashed into the wall where she'd just been standing. Rose and the Doctor both threw the door shut behind them, the Doctor fumbling to lock it with the screwdriver when the heavy beast hit the door. It knocked them back, both Rose and the Doctor tumbling to the floor. There was some vague source of light coming from somewhere. It glistened off the metal parts that seemed to hold the thing in the doorway together. Rose gasped. She saw Dalekanium, melted into living flesh, wires fused to different parts of a body that was nowhere near human, nowhere near even any animal she'd ever seen. Its hind legs were that of something like a wolf, it's front legs looked broken, like it was walking on its kneecaps instead of its feet.

"Up, up, up." The Doctor fumbled for her hand, both of their attentions fixed on the horror in front of them. They got up, clutching each other while scrambling away. Half walking, half crawling in a mad dash to escape. But they weren't fast enough. Not now. Not when that thing could see them. It knocked into Rose sending her flying, slamming hard into a wall. As Rose was torn away from the Doctor he stumbled, falling.

"Hey!" he immediately called, holding up the sonic. The tip lit up green. The creature turned on him. The vague light reflected off eyes completely black.

"No!" Rose screamed as it moved towards the Doctor. He pushed himself frantically backwards on the floor.

Rose got to her feet, her eyes flickering around hastily. They were down in the vaults. Things no longer in use or too dangerous to be used were stored down here. Which meant secure rooms. Her eyes caught on a sign. 33-51. Her brain worked in over drive. One to thirty were storage units. Thirty to ninety were all heavily enforced because they contained possible explosive materials. She whipped her head around. The creature was on the Doctor. One more moment and it could all be over.

"Throw me the sonic!" Rose screamed. He was still on the floor.

"Are you mad?!" he screamed back at her.

"You have to trust me, Doctor," she said. "Just trust me!" But he didn't. The thing raised one of its crocked front legs and Rose saw needle like claws extend at the end of it. She rushed forwards as it lashed out at the Doctor on the floor. Not thinking past the need to save him.

But the Doctor rolled away at the last second, somehow managing to get to his feet. "I know what to do!" Rose shouted at him. His eyes caught hers for just a second. _I know what to do!_ she repeated across the bond, trying to imbue every single word with absolute conviction.

She saw him grind his teeth in frustration and then he flicked a setting on the sonic before her threw it past the creature. The sonic stayed on as it flew through the air. The creature followed it with its black gaze and the minute Rose caught the sonic it abandoned the Doctor and lunged for Rose. She turned and ran. Ran faster than she perhaps ever had before.

Rose turned so fast down the hallway that held the secure rooms that she nearly fell, just managing to stay on her feet. But the creature wasn't as quick and crashed into the wall. Plaster flew and cracks broke up from where it hit to the ceiling overhead causing lamps to come crashing down. Rose covered her head as she continued to run. The creature recovered quickly, tearing after her.

Rose aimed the screwdriver without stopping. Aiming it at a door down the hall, unlocking it. She pushed the heavy enforced door opened, stumbling inside. The room was dark. She raised the sonic and light flickered on around the room. The room wasn't huge but it was filled with stacks, boxes in neat rows filling them. All perfectly labeled. The Shadow proclamation was nothing if not perfectly organised. If there even was a Shadow Proclamation anymore.

Rose felt a pang inside her chest at thought of this creature tearing apart all the people she'd known, the friends she'd made. But she pushed the feeling back. She had to because the creature had just bounded into the room. Rose took off between the stacks, occasionally setting off the sonic in the hopes that the creature would follow her. She needn't have worried. It did.

It knocked over entire stacks in its pursuit. Rose ducked as boxes flew over her head as the thing knocked them over trying to tear into her. Then suddenly she reached the end of the labyrinth of stacks. She twirled around just to see the creature coming around a bend towards her. Its black eyes fixed on her immediately and Rose got the strangest feeling it was somehow smiling even though it didn't appear to have a mouth. Rose looked around, quickly seeing the door far off behind rows of shelves and boxes. She turned her eyes back to the creature now moving almost leisurely towards her. Rose raised the sonic over her head and that familiar whirring sound mingled with the snarl of the thing coming to rip her to pieces.

Then the light's overhead blew. One by one. They blew out, sparks raining down from above, the room falling back into darkness. The minute it did Rose moved. She threw herself to the floor, crawling through an opening between the neatly labeled boxes. She'd tried her best to memories a route out before she blew the lights. Darkness was the only thing that could help her escape now. A screech, horrible and mechanic ripped through the air, the sound chilling Rose to the bone. But she didn't stop. Not for one second.

She crawled across the floor, scrambling to get to the door, hoping she was remembering the route right. Then suddenly she came into open space. It didn't fit with the picture in her head. She halted, unsure which way to go. She could guess and maybe get it wrong or maybe get it right. Or she could use the sonic to see and risk the creature finding her. Rose realised she had to take that chance. She couldn't risk getting lost in there. She took a breath before she turned the sonic on, aiming it ahead of her. She breathed a sigh of relief as she spotted the doorway to the right of her just as a familiar shape skidded to a stop within it. Despite everything she was so unbelievably happy to see him. She turned the sonic off and got to her feet, ready to rush into his arms whether he wanted her to or not. But the minute she got up something got a hold of her foot. It yanked her leg away beneath her and she crashed to the floor, crying out as pain exploded through her leg.

The Doctor called out in absolute horror as he ran for her. Rose was yanked back. She flayed around, reaching her arms out for anything, any handhold to stop her from getting pulled away. But there was nothing but the floor. She could hear the mechanic snarl of the creature behind her as it dragged her towards it.

"Doctor!" Rose cried out, panic thundering through her veins. The Doctor reached her, grabbing her flailing hands and pulled. But the creature was far stronger than him. Rose clutched at the Doctor. "Don't let go," she cried, fear making the words almost incoherent.

"Never," the Doctor ground out between his teeth and pulled harder. Rose felt the creature's long needle sharp claws digging into her leg. The pain was excruciating. "Rose..." At the suddenly calm sound of the Doctor's voice her gaze flickered up to his. There was resolution within it. "I won't let it take you," he told her, his face strained as he struggled to hold on to her. "I won't." Rose couldn't find any words. She wanted to do nothing more than scream as she felt as though her leg was being torn apart.

Her fingers were slipping. "Doctor... I can't." Rose struggled to get a better grip but she couldn't hold on.

"Don't you dare let go, Rose Tyler," he told her. But no matter how hard she fought she was still slipping.

"Doctor..." Rose looked up at him a second before the creature yanked savagely on her leg and she was pulled free of the Doctor's hold. She heard him scream.

Rose reached out her hands, desperately trying to find anything to stop her form being dragged away a torn to pieces. This time she got a hold of something. It was sharp and metal and dug painfully into the palm of her hand. But it stopped her for just a moment. She ground her teeth as she fought to hold on. Then the Doctor was running past, slamming into one of the heavy stacks behind her, sending it off balance. The creature cried out in pain or irritation as the heavy shelf with all its boxes slammed down on it. And suddenly Rose's leg was free. But she barely had time to register it before the Doctor was pulling her to her feet. The creature snarled and trashed behind them as they ran for the opened door, Rose limping and the Doctor frantically pulling her along.

The crashed out into the hall. The Doctor slammed the heavy door shut behind them and Rose aimed the sonic screwdriver. She thought she might never have heard a more satisfying sound then that of the locks clicking into place.

Rose stumbled backwards until her back hit the opposite wall. She was bleeding. She could feel her blood running down her leg, soaking into her shoe. The Doctor turned on her.

"That is the last time I'll ever trust you!"he screamed. Rose was letting the wall prop her up as she breathed rapidly, her heart thundering inside her chest and pain pounding through her leg.

"Got the job done, didn't it?" she managed to get out.

"You could have died!"the Doctor continued to scream.

"Still here though."

She only half registered that he was right in front of her. "You damn mad woman," he said, his breathing heavy. Rose smiled at that. Perhaps she was mad. She wasn't sure. It had seemed the best solution to their problems at the time but perhaps it had been utterly crazy. In that moment she really couldn't tell.

"If you ever pull something like that again..." the Doctor began but Rose cut him off.

"You'll what?"she asked, her gaze snapping down to his as she straightened as much as she could. The Doctor's lips were twisted in a snarl, he licked them as though was trying to erase it but he couldn't. He was furious. "Come on, Doctor," Rose said. "Tell me. You will do what exactly?" His hands were on his hips until one shot up to rub against his chin. "This is what we do," Rose told him. "I was never safe travelling with you. I never wanted to be safe. I always knew there was a risk..."

"To me!" he interrupted her. "Not to you, Rose! I'm the one that takes the risks, not you!"

"Oh, is that right?" Rose laughed. "I can recall quite a few times I've had to take risks all on my own. And you used to trust me to do it! You used to believe in me!"

The Doctor glared at her. "You don't anymore, is that it?" Rose asked him. The Doctor shook his head. "What, then?!" Rose demanded to know. "Doctor, what!?"

He twirled towards her, catching her face between his hands and kissed her. The bond instantly flared up. Igniting with just the barest of incentives as though it had lied in wait. But before Rose could return the kiss or push him away because she really wasn't quite sure which she would have done, he stopped. The Doctor yanked himself away, frustratingly running his fingers through his hair. It was still dark in the hallway. She only saw glimpses of him where he stood half turned away from her. His chest rose rapidly up and down. Rose swallowed hard.

"What was that for?"she asked.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking flustered. "I didn't mean to... Sorry."

Rose had no idea what had suddenly come over him and she wasn't certain she even wanted to know. So she didn't push. Didn't ask. Instead she struggled to right herself. But the minute she put weight on her leg she whimpered as pain raked through it. Immediately the Doctor was there. He got the sonic that was still in her hand, running it hastily over her leg. "You're losing a lot of blood," he said.

"Oh, really?" Rose mocked. "I hadn't noticed." She couldn't see the look he gave her in the semidarkness but she could imagine it.

"Come on," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I'll get you back to the TARDIS." Rose suddenly pulled free of him.

"I'm not going back to the TARDIS," she told him.

"Rose, you're injured," he told her.

"It's not that bad," she said.

"It's bad enough," the Doctor insisted. But Rose shook her head. No major arteries were nicked because if they'd been she wouldn't have been able to stand up.

"The labs are right above us. I can make it there."

"The TARDIS isn't far away either and I promise her sickbay is far superior to what they might have here." Rose took another limping step away from him.

"I'm not leaving until I know what happened here," Rose said. "Not until I know the people here are either safe or long dead." The Doctor sighed. "I'm not leaving them," Rose informed him firmly and limped away the way they'd come.

After a moment the Doctor came up beside her, carefully wrapping his arm around her waist again. He held on as Rose tried to pull away. "I'm not going back," she said again.

"Yeah, I got that," the Doctor told her. Hesitantly she relaxed a little against him, allowing him to take some of her weight.

They made their way in silence for a while, both a little weary over what they might find behind the next corner as much as the Doctor's momentary lapse in control. Rose was the one who finally broke the silence.

"So what was that thing?"she asked him. It took him a moment to answer.

"It was nothing made by nature," he ground out. "It was... wrong. Empty."

"A machine?" Rose asked.

"More machine than anything else," the Doctor agreed.

"So someone built it. Someone set it loose here."

"That would be my guess. It is probably why all the lights are out. The people who were hunted by that thing probably figured out the same thing you did. That light attracted it."

"You think there are more of them?"

"Don't know. But that's not all we have to worry about."

"It's not?"

"No." The Doctor rearranged his hold on Rose. "Whatever killed that Judoon that was something else."

"So there are more things loose here?" Rose asked, feeling a chill move down her spine at the thought.

The Doctor didn't answer. They made their way back until they had to use the sonic to see again. They located the stairs the Doctor had talked about before.

"Can you make it up them?"the Doctor asked.

"I think I can do you one better," Rose said, holding up her wrist and showing him the vortex manipulator. She saw him smile in the weak green light from the sonic.

"Oh, Rose Tyler you are brilliant," he said.

Rose hastily punched in coordinates on the manipulator. She had needed a couple moments. Travelling with that thing was never pleasant and injured it was an outright nightmare. But better than struggling up untold flights of stairs.

"Ready?" Rose asked. The Doctor placed his hand on the manipulator and they were both yanked savagely forwards only to slam suddenly into the floor. The Doctor just managed to keep Rose from falling but looked for a moment as though he struggled not to throw up.

They were up a few floors. The labs were not far away. Up here the sound of an alarm was slightly louder. Emergency blue lights blinked overhead. Blue meant evacuate. Blue meant run.

"The labs are down here," Rose said, limping forwards. "They'll have medical equipment."

They came up to the sliding doors that led to Lian's and Red's lab. Rose felt a lump form in her throat. It looked deserted. The Doctor aimed the sonic at the panel at the side. Rose shook her head.

"Needs a card," she said, fumbling in her jeans pocket and pulling out her access card. She swiped it across the panel. Nothing happened. She did it again. Nothing. Rose looked up at the red light at the top of the door. "It's sealed shut," Rose said. "It can only be opened from the inside." She leaned forwards and banged on the reinforced glass. "Lian!"she called. "Red!" She banged again. "Lian!"

A dark shape stepped into the lab from another room. For a moment it just stood and stared at them. Then slowly it walked over. As she got closer Rose recognised Lian's familiar face. It was a long time since Rose had started to notice the fine lines around her eyes, her hair turning grey and Rose had begun to understand why it had frightened the Doctor so to watch her whither. It was a constant reminder of what you were eventually going to lose.

Lian pressed a series of buttons next to the doors and they slid opened. Rose let go of the Doctor and threw herself into Lian's arms. The other woman seemed stumped and it took her a moment to return the hug.

"James said you left."

Rose let go of Lian. "I'm so sorry," Rose said. "I didn't mean to just leave you. I didn't." Lian nodded and pressed the buttons to close the doors again. They shut with a whoosh behind the Doctor. Lian walked away. "Lian, what happened here?" Rose asked after her. Lian nodded towards the exam table.

"Let's have a look at your leg," she said. Rose hadn't even realised she'd noticed it. The Doctor helped Rose limp over and Rose got up on the table, wincing as she placed her bloodied leg where Lian could more easily work on it. "Can't even remember all the times I had to patch you up," Lian said as she cut a good portion of Rose's torn jeans away. Rose immediately felt the Doctor's eyes bore into her and she purposefully chose not to meet them.

"If that is that Tyler girl needing a bone set again tell her we're far too busy!"came a voice from the other room. Red emerged in the doorway. He'd grown older over the years too. He'd always been a little grumpy but it had gotten worse with age. Or rather he seemed to have grown into it, Rose thought.

Rose's face lit up in a weak smile as she saw him. He was a few years younger than Lian. His hair was still jet black and his bearing straight. Rose had never bothered to ask but she figured he had probably about fifteen or so years on his kid brother James.

"Red!" Rose said with as much delight as she could muster with her leg hurting more and more by the second. "So glad to see you're ok."

"Wish I could say the same," Red said, coming into the room and nodding towards Rose's leg. "How bad?"he asked Lian.

"Some torn ligaments," she said. "Lost a fair amount of blood I'd say but no damage to any major arteries. She was lucky. Again." Lian gave Rose a reproachful glare before returning to her leg. Red watched her work.

"So what tried to kill you this time?"he asked.

"You do know there's something running around with claws a few floors down?"the Doctor pointed out.

"Did," Rose corrected. "It did run around. We took care of it."

"No, we didn't know," Red admitted, handing a device, used to speed up the healing process over to Lian. She took it and put it to Rose's injured leg. Rose clenched her teeth together. That thing always hurt like hell. Her hand instinctively reached for the Doctor. But he wasn't there. He stood a few feet away from her, his arms folded across his chest. Their eyes met for a brief moment and he made no move towards her. Rose let her gaze drop before he could see the hurt. Her empty hand tightened into a fist.

"What happened here?" Rose asked, trying to distract herself from the well of loneliness surging up inside her. Danger and adrenaline had numbed it all for a bit. Made her forget why there was a painful pressure over her chest that was nothing like the ache in her leg.

"Don't rightly know," Red said.

"You don't know?"the Doctor asked in disbelief. Red's gaze moved up to the Doctor's.

"Looks like you took a bit of a hit there too." He indicated the Doctor's hairline. Rose's eyes immediately flickered up to the area. There was dried blood there and she remembered that creature had knocked him out for a minute. Her fingers itched to reach out but she kept herself still, reminding herself that she had no right to. Not anymore. Not after what she'd done.

"Oh, that's nothing," the Doctor assured, blowing a string of hair away. Red handed him a disinfectant wipe anyway. The Doctor took it and wiped away at his forehead.

"There you go," Lian said as she finished up with Rose's leg, tying a bandage rather tight around it. "I would recommend rest but experience tells me you won't heed it so I'll just tell you to at least be careful." Rose jumped down from the table, experimentally putting weight on her leg. It felt fine. Not great but she could definitely walk on it.

"Why haven't you evacuated?"the Doctor asked Red and Lian. Indicating the blue lights overhead.

"Red doesn't want to leave without James." Lian put the medical equipment she'd used away.

"James is alive?" Rose looked up in hopeful surprise.

"With the Architect," Red confirmed, looking a little uncomfortable.

"And where's she?" The Doctor watched them both with a hint of suspicion.

"Situation room?" Rose asked and both Lian and Red nodded.

"Should be," Red said. "He's been working close by her these last few months." Months then not weeks as Rose had thought. She'd been gone for months.

"When did this happen?"the Doctor asked. "When were you attacked?"

"About thirteen hours ago," Red said.

"Thirteen hours?" The Doctor was clearly as surprised as Rose. It was a lot of destruction in such a short period of time.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"You'll have to ask the Architect about that," Red said before Lian could answer.

Rose looked from one to the other. Something was going on.

"What are you two not telling me?" Neither Red nor Lian met her gaze "Who did this?" Rose demanded to know. "Tell me."

"I suggest you rather do as she asks," the Doctor said. Both Lian and Red turned to look at him.

"They're so afraid of you," Red said to him.

"What? Who is?" Rose looked from the Doctor to Red and back again. The Doctor met Red's gaze squarely.

"It's the Church, Rose," Lian finally said. "The Church of the Papal mainframe."

"The Church attacked you?"The Doctor scratched at his chin. "But why?"

"The Silence..." Rose breathed, her fears realised. It hadn't ended at Lake Silencio. They were still coming for the Doctor.

"I don't think so, Rose." Lian's tone was a touch sad.

"You should go see the Architect," Red suggested. "If you can get there. There are all kinds of nightmare's crawling around here now."

"Oh, we'll get there," Rose said, turning around and punching coordinates into the vortex manipulator. "And we're getting James and then we're getting all of you off this base."

"If you get James," Red said. "We can make our own way. There's an escape route attached to this lab in the event of an attack. Just get my brother and we'll do the rest. You owe him that." Rose's eyes caught on Red's and for the first time she realised there was resentment there.

"I didn't mean to leave like I did," Rose said.

"No, but you did." It was Lian. Lian looked more hurt. Like Rose had broken her trust.

"I'm sorry," Rose said. Lian took a deep, tired breath.

"We know, Rose," she said. "We know." She glanced up the Doctor. "We always knew you wouldn't stay. That one day he'd come back for you. That he had to."

"It wasn't his choice," Rose said at same time as she remember the Doctor dragging her into the TARDIS. Leaving as she did hadn't been her choice but the event that had set it in motion had. She couldn't blame the Doctor for what happened that night. Not completely. She could have stopped it at any time. "Lian..." Rose tried. The woman was hurt. Rose hadn't meant to hurt them. She'd been so insistent on coming back because she didn't want to be like the Doctor. Always running, leaving so many behind.

But Lian brushed her sympathy away. "You're tied," she said. "You and him. You're inevitable. We always knew that." For a moment Rose wanted nothing more than to tell Lian everything. To confide in her as she might her own mum. Everything the Doctor had said. Every word that had justifiably ripped her heart out. But Rose said nothing.

The Doctor was taking Rose's hand urging her away.

"Come on," he said. "If we're going to do this we should hurry." Rose reluctantly turned away from the two people who had become as close to family as Rose had known in a long time.

"Wait." Lian walked across the room, retrieving something out of a metal case. She returned, handing it over to Rose. Rose mutely took the crude bracelet with its distinctive blue line running through it.

But the minute the Doctor recognised it he snatched it out of her hands, tossing it away on a nearby table.

"She doesn't need that anymore," he told Lian and Red, a hardness in his tone. A warning.

"Looks to me like she might," Red said evenly. The Doctor turned on Rose but she purposefully avoided his gaze. Lian and Red had become well versed through the years at seeing the tell tale signs of Rose being on the verge of losing control.

"She's fine," the Doctor assured.

"If she's fine..," Lian pointed out. "...then why are her huon activity levels up forty-six percent?" Lian held up the device her and Red had developed to scan the huon activity in Rose's blood. The higher the activity the closer she was to losing it.

Huon particles were unstable, easily swayed by chemical imbalance in the body, such as hormones and adrenaline. And the Huon particles is what kept the Time Lord element together with the human one. Losing that stability and the energy instantly became dangerous, errant. The bond is what kept it all in balance. A perfect, impossible balance.

Rose had spent hours with Lian and Red as they catalogued everything about her and the bond. They'd even tried to find permanent ways of breaking it. But they'd found none. Not without killing both Rose and the Doctor in the process.

The Doctor was snatching the device out of Lian's hands, studying the readings.

"Rose," Lian said softly. Rose turned her gaze up to the other woman. "Put on the bracelet," Lian said.

"She's not putting it on," the Doctor repeated, handing the device back to Lian.

"Doctor," Rose began. Losing hope was a dangerous thing for anyone but for Rose it could end up being devastating. And she was losing it. A hope she never even knew she had. The Doctor turned back to Rose.

"The bond is active again," he told her. "Putting that thing on is not going to be pleasant."

"It's better than hurting someone or..." Rose trailed off, not really feeling the need to finish. Everyone in that room had at least some notion of what might happen if Rose lost control.

"When you were in that room on the Dalek crucible," the Doctor ground out. "It hurt so bad I was sure you were dead."

"Still better..." Rose tried to say but he quickly interrupted her.

"No, if you need to, you use me."

In that moment she wanted to shout at him. How could she use him to keep control when he was the reason she barely was?

"How can I do that?" Rose asked him. "I don't love you anymore, remember?" She stepped back from him. "Won't work then will it?"

"Rose..." She could see a hint of sorrow in his eyes but she turned away from it.

"Let's just go," Rose said, finishing with setting the coordinates on the vortex manipulator. She didn't get the bracelet, even though perhaps she should. But she had survived those first few months alone without erupting in a supernova. She could manage a little more. The Doctor joined her, placing his hand over the device.

"I don't fully know what's going on between the two of you," Red said, making both Rose and the Doctor look up. Red's eyes focused hard on the Doctor. "But you look out for her," he said. "She's worth ten of you. Don't you dare let her suffer anymore after all she's gone through for you."

Rose half expected the Doctor to argue. To tell Red that she'd done nothing but hurt him but the Doctor merely nodded in acceptance. Rose pushed the last button on the manipulator and her and the Doctor were yanked away. Not soon enough they slammed into solid ground again. The Doctor doubled over, holding on for a moment to the wall next to him.

"Oh, I hate that thing," he groaned. Rose had to agree that despite being used to it, it wasn't a pleasant way to travel even though she suspected the Doctor was faking it a little.

"I got us as close as I could," Rose said. "Since your last visit many parts of the base are TARDIS proof." The Doctor pushed himself straight. "Noticed that," he said. "Landing was like treading a TARDIS through a needle. A really, really small needle."

They were standing in a room. Two huge windows nearly covered one side, showing them the vastness of space beyond. The room was almost bare, a few chairs placed out along the walls. No ornaments of any kind.

"Where to?"the Doctor asked as some of the colour returned to his face. Rose made her way over to one of the doors. She hesitated before she opened it. Nightmares, Red had said. It unnerved Rose how evasive they both had been. There was more going on here than just a simple attack. Far more. Rose felt the Doctor at her back. She could feel he was about to say something so she pressed the button next to the door before he go the chance and it slid opened soundlessly.

The scent of burning was the first to assail them. And it wasn't burning like flames and ashes it was of something heated and singed. They stepped out into a hallway. A hallway littered with bodies. Most of them were Judoon but some of them had the same pale skin as the Architect. The blue evacuation lights flared overhead. Urging anyone still alive to run. But one look around told Rose and the Doctor that there was no one left alive. The Doctor walked over to one of the fallen Judoon, hunkering down and running his sonic over the fallen soldier. It was so quiet that the familiar sound seemed to pierce Rose's eardrums.

"Same as the other one," he said and for a moment Rose squeezed her eyes shut.

"Why would the Church do this? This isn't..." Rose forced her eyes back opened. There was no hiding from this. The Doctor straightened.

"I don't know," he said. "I really don't know."

Rose knew she had to check all the faces of the dead. She had to check to make sure none of them were James.

"What if no one got out?" Rose thought aloud. "What if everyone's dead?"

"Lian and Red aren't," the Doctor pointed out and it brought Rose a bit of comfort. He was right. At least they were still okay.

The Doctor began scurrying around, running his sonic over just about everything. "These marks," he muttered, squinting at some blackened lines on the wall.

"What about them?" Rose asked, her voice monotone in front of all this destruction and death. The Doctor rubbed at his forehead.

"They look like burn marks from an exterminator gun. There are even residue that indicate it."

"So it was the Daleks?" Rose stepped over the foot of a fallen Judoon, purposefully not looking down. "And the Church?"

"If it were Daleks it is not as we've seen them. Not as I've seen them in a long time." The Doctor looked around. "But still, this has nothing of their efficiency. It's crude, brutal."

"Can't argue with that." Rose looked around at all the dead faces, forcing herself to look even though she didn't want to. Despite the horror she felt a touch of relief. So far none of them were James.

"So, where is this Situation room?"the Doctor asked, looking around.

"This way." Rose took the lead as they made their way through the battlefield. Which is what it had been. This hallway led up to the room where the Doctor had once solved the puzzle of the missing planets. The first time Rose had been there. This might have been their last stand.

The Doctor continued to wave his sonic around as they walked, collecting as much data as he could. As they reached the door at the end of the hall they noticed it had been blown opened. The metal was blackened and bent, making walking through easy. The Doctor followed Rose inside. The room hadn't changed much. There were no bodies inside. No scorch marks on the walls. There had been no fighting in there.

"If they were here," the Doctor remarked as Rose walked over to the Architect's desk. "I think they're long gone." Rose reached under the table, her hand searching until she found what she was looking for. She pushed the button and a section of the wall slid away behind her, revealing a big metal door.

"Oh, look at that." The Doctor joined her. "A hidden door. I love hidden doors."

"That's the Situation room," Rose said. "Nothing get's in there unless it is let inside." Rose walked over, placing herself in view of the camera she knew was right above the door. If anyone was still inside they'd see her. "I'm here to help," Rose said, looking into the lens. "Please."

There was a moment of absolute silence where both Rose and the Doctor held their breaths and then the heavy door opened as though on a sigh when the compression locks released. There was nothing but darkness beyond.

"Rose..." the Doctor said hesitantly. Rose walked into the room before he had a chance to stop her. Before she could think twice about it. She had to keep herself busy. She had to keep him busy. Because right now she had no desire to live through another agonising conversation. She just wanted to stay focused on the task at hand. On finding James and the Architect and making sure everyone got off this damn place alive.

Rose could feel the Doctor swiftly following behind her. Just as she would follow him into any danger, defying any fear perhaps he would still do the same, even if it was just an instinct.

"Hello?" Rose called carefully into the darkness. The door suddenly closed behind them. Both the Doctor and Rose spun. Immediately the Doctor was there running the sonic over the door. It wouldn't open. As Rose knew it wouldn't. If the Doctor ever became a threat, the Shadow proclamation had made sure they at least had somewhere to hide.

Rose turned back, leaving the Doctor at the door.

"Madam Architect?" There was no answer. The Doctor abandoned his attempt at opening the door and joined Rose. He raised the sonic and a few lights flickered on around the room. They cast a vague eerie light, creating shadows more than anything else. Shadows too dark to determine what might hide inside them. Rose's gaze ran over the room and she froze.

There was a large oval-shaped table in the middle, twenty-three empty chairs all around. Except at the head of the table. There sat the Architect. She wore the same black, shapeless dress she always wore and it made it hard to see the blood at first. But there was blood. Her pale, papery skin stood out in sharp relief against a few crimson stains on her cheek. Her head had fallen back at an odd angle, her arms dangling useless at her sides and her dead eyes stared up at nothing.

There was something different about a dead body. Something in the way the limbs fell. Like a puppet without it strings. The thought reminded Rose of the way Harriet Jones had looked when she'd found her in that alley. After Annabelle Conn had murdered her. And for a second Rose glanced around half expecting her to waltz out of the shadows as had a tendency to do. But there didn't seem to be anyone else in the room.

The Doctor brushed past Rose, walking over to the Architect's body. He ran the sonic hastily over her.

"She's dead," he said even thought they'd both already known she was.

"Daleks?" Rose asked. But the Doctor shook his head.

"Gunshot. Stock 15 by the looks of it,"the Doctor said as he held the screwdriver up in front of his face. Stock 15, ammunition that only impacted on organics, Rose remembered. She took a step forwards just as she felt something cool press against her temple. She halted.

"Move and you're dead," a male voice growled. Rose's heart quickly began hammering inside her chest. She shifted her eyes, seeing the hint of the barrel of a gun at her temple. Despite the warning she turned her head, just an inch. Her eyes followed the line of the gun, along a trembling arm and up to a familiar face. James.

"Doctor," Rose called out. He tore his eyes from the sonic and she practically felt the way his hearts skipped a couple of beats at the sight of her with a gun to her head. He took an instinctive step forwards.

"Don't move!" James screamed, pressing the gun harder against Rose's head. The Doctor stopped dead.

"James," Rose said calmly. "What are you doing?" She could feel the gun shaking as James held it. "It's me. It's Rose." James took a step closer to her.

"I know exactly who you are," he growled.

"Why don't we take it easy," the Doctor suggested, his voice careful as he took a couple more steps towards them.

"I told you not to move!" James screamed at him. His voice was hoarse and fractured. "Or I swear I'll kill the only thing you care about! Right now!" The Doctor halted immediately. James readjusted the grip on his gun. He was sweating, his hands shaking.

"Okay." The Doctor held up his hands to show he wasn't a threat. "Just... don't hurt her. Please"

James gnawed at his bottom lip as his grip tightened around the looked terrible. His clothes were a mess, blood everywhere, his hair looked as though he might have torn chunks of it out, or that someone else had.

"It's all your fault," he said, looking close to tears as he stared at the Doctor with the gun still on Rose.

"James," Rose tried. "Please, just put the gun down."

"No!" He spun, quickly aiming the gun at the Doctor instead. Rose felt fear, undiluted and harsh tear through her chest. No, not him, she thought. Don't you dare hurt him. "He has to pay for what he's done!" James screamed, his voice filled with pain and hate and fear. Most of all fear. James was very afraid.

He shifted his gaze to Rose. "He has to pay," he said again.

"James, if you hurt him," Rose began, swallowing hard. "If you hurt him I will take the time vortex and pour it into your head. Do you understand? I will turn you to dust."

James shook his head. "You're not a killer. No matter what people say about you. You're not the Bad wolf."

"I am," Rose said. The energy inside her was stirring, itching just under the surface. Eager to tear free in protection of the man she loved. The man she was irrevocably linked to. Whom she'd rather fight to live for than lay down and die for. Dying was easy. Living was hard.

Rose might still care about James but the power rushing through her veins didn't. It had no concept of mercy or guilt. "I am the Bad Wolf," Rose told James. "I named myself. Pull that trigger and you will never have existed. I will tear you out of time and space I swear. "

James's face scrunched up in obvious pain. "I'm sorry, Rose," he said. "But I don't believe that."

Rose watched helplessly as James's trembling fingers squeezed the trigger. There would be no other warning, Rose thought. No bone-chilling word or a flash of light as with the Daleks. The bullet would even hit the Doctor before her ears would register the sound of it firing.

Rose had always thought she had all the time in the world. It wasn't until she met the Doctor and actually had all of time at the press of a button that she realised just how little of it she had. How little any of them had. Everything had its time and everything died. That was the way of the universe. There was no forever. Forever was a word for a concept that didn't exist.

But Rose had never wanted forever. A sliver of time is all she'd ever asked for and to fill that sliver with amazing things. Brilliant and beautiful things. And she had, for the most part she had. She'd even found someone else to share it with, no matter what it had ended up doing to them both.

And as the sound of the gunshot finally registered it was his eyes she sought. For that one instance Rose thought it might be the last time she ever saw them. That maybe this was it. This was the time. And perhaps her sacrifice had bought him nothing but a few more years. But just as the thought formed she instantly knew it wasn't. Not yet. Not for the Doctor and Rose Tyler. This was not how it was going to end.

/

 **Thank you so much to some of you who have reviewed as guests since I can't reply to you personally. I keep saying thank you and I can say it a thousands times but it doesn't feel as though I could ever properly convey how truly thankful I am! You are so amazing and so kind! The best! Absolutely the best.**


	60. Chapter 60 - Only those you trust

Chapter 60 - Only those you trust can betray you

A mere breath of second before the gunshot rang out everyone seemed to move at once. Rose threw herself at James, knocking him to the side. The shot went wide as the Doctor instinctively ducked. Rose desperately tried to wrestle the gun from James. But James fought. Another shot rang through the room. The gun went off right next to Rose's ear and for a moment all she could hear was ringing. She stumbled back, dazed. In seconds James had the gun raised again.

Though still disoriented Rose grabbed his arm, the next shot firing into the floor. Rose could feel the energy inside her moving, restless. It wanted to rise in instant defence. Giving into it would be easy. It was keeping it locked down that was hard.

The Doctor reached them but James knocked the Doctor away, having been trained in ways the Doctor wasn't. James got a hold of Rose and suddenly she had the gun to her head again.

"If this is the only way I can make you hurt I'll do it!" James shouted at the Doctor. And Rose saw the Doctor's face pale as he stared at them.

"You wouldn't hurt her," the Doctor said. "You know her, James. It's Rose. You wouldn't hurt her." Rose felt the barrel of the gun tremble against her temple.

"You have to pay."

"Then shoot me," the Doctor said, holding out his hands in invitation. "Just like you planned. Don't hurt Rose. You don't want to do that."

"No, I don't," James agreed and Rose thought she could hear tears in his voice. "But I know nothing else would hurt you more. I talked to Red. I know what she is to you. What she means."

"James," Rose said carefully.

"Shut up," he growled.

"Just think about what you're doing," Rose tried.

"I said, shut up!"

Rose elbowed James in the stomach. Hard enough that he doubled over. The Doctor threw himself blindly at James, knocking him into the wall. The gun fell from the man's fingers and the Doctor quickly kicked it away, the gun sliding across the floor, lost in the shadows. He pressed his forearm against James's throat, choking him. Rage burned in the Doctor's eyes.

"You,"the Doctor said softly, his voice unforgiving, the softness more of a threat than shouting could ever be. The light and shadows in the room seemed to curl around the Doctor, bending to an unseen force.

Rose moved quickly, clasping the Doctor's arm and trying to pull it away from James's throat before the Doctor actually suffocated him.

"Doctor, let go," Rose told him.

"He would have shot you," the Doctor ground out, his eyes fixed on James. The Doctor wasn't a violent man but right then Rose could see violence in the curl of his fingers, in the set of his mouth. He wanted to tear James apart. But even though he might want it Rose knew he wouldn't. No. Such a thing was far too simple. He would find some worse way to punish James if he chose to.

The Doctor's previous regeneration had possessed a lot of mercy. But this regeneration had been forced to have less. He had been pushed to question what his mercy cost both himself and the world around him. A part of that was probably Rose's fault.

"I didn't want to hurt her," James, gurgled out. It wasn't an apology or an excuse, simply a statement of fact. He might not have wanted to but he still would have. The Doctor slammed his hand into the wall, right next to James's head, making him flinch.

"I don't care what you wanted," he told him. "You would have killed her."

"I was trying to hurt you. You deserve it!" James threw at him.

The Doctor leaned down closer to James.

"And why is it," he said, his voice dark."...that you want to hurt me so badly? What is it you want me to pay for exactly?"

James stared at the Doctor, fear shifting in his eyes. Until his gaze slid from the Doctor to Rose. Probably thinking speaking to her would be easier.

"This is all his fault," James croaked. "All this."

"The attack?" Rose asked. "By the Church? But Lian said it wasn't the Silence." James shook his head as much as he could.

"It's not," he said. The Doctor eased his hold a fraction. Enough for James to draw in a wisp of air. "The Clerics," he said. "They're here officially on orders by the Mother Superious herself."

"Why?" Rose asked in confusion.

The Silence. The movement who had been obsessed with destroying the Doctor had been, as far as Rose knew a renegade group, not officially a part of the Papal Mainframe. "Don't you see?" James croaked out, barely audibly. He gurgled and struggled to breathe.

"Doctor," Rose said and reluctantly he eased his hold. James gulped down a mouthful of air.

"We've been chasing after him but what have everyone else been doing?"he asked Rose You were so hellbent on saving him you didn't see it."

"James...-" Rose began but he interrupted her.

"They were trying to stop him, Rose! Everyone's been trying to stop him for years! They built the perfect prison with the Pandorica. They killed him at Lake Silencio! And he's still here! Because you can't let him go!"

Rose spun away, running her fingers through her blonde hair.

"He should be dead or locked up. And if you stand with him so should you." At that the Doctor's grip on James tightened again. Rose turned back at the sound of him struggling to breathe. Immediately she clasped the Doctor's arm, again trying to pull him away.

"Doctor, stop," she told him.

"I'm not going to kill him," the Doctor said calmly as he stared at James who's eyes were starting to bug out of his head, his fingers clawing uselessly at the arm preventing him to breathe.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor reluctantly turned his furious gaze from James to Rose.

"What?"he ground out.

"We help people," Rose told him. "We don't hurt them."

"Rose, he nearly killed you," the Doctor pointed out.

"I don't care," Rose said. "Whatever you're thinking, throwing him into a black hole or leaving him on some desolate planet after you're done choking him. Whatever it is you won't do it. Do you hear me?"

"Rose," the Doctor tried to argue but Rose would have none of it.

"No," she told him sharply, pulling him back. With obvious reluctance he let her.

James nearly collapsed in relief as Rose got the Doctor off him. The Doctor turned on Rose, ready to argue the point but suddenly he paused. His gaze ran over her face.

"Hey," he said, his voice marginally softer. "Are you ok?" Rose's gaze fluttered away from his.

"Yeah," she said, letting him go and stepping back.

"Rose..." he reached out his hand towards her, but Rose hastily moved out of his reach.

"Her eyes flashed gold," came from James and Rose considered for a moment letting the Doctor throw him into some dark hole somewhere. She gave James a glare. "You didn't even know it, did you?"he said.

"Rose, maybe we should get you back to the TARDIS," the Doctor suggested. But Rose shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said.

"You're not fine," the Doctor refuted. "I'm not an idiot. I can tell something's wrong."

Of course something was wrong, Rose thought angrily. He'd crushed whatever frail hope she might have maintained that they would be alright. Then the one place she thought to run to had been attacked and someone she had counted a friend had just tried to kill them. She didn't know for how long she could hold on anymore. She was slipping. She knew she was.

"You're not wearing the bracelet," James remarked.

"She doesn't need to," the Doctor said.

"Oh, trust me," James ground out, his voice hoarse. "...she needs to."

"I'd be very quiet if I were you," the Doctor warned James.

James was leaning back against the wall. He smiled, his teeth stained red with blood. When had that happened, Rose thought. She didn't remember either her or the Doctor striking him.

"Ever judge, jury and executioner," James mocked, though his voice trembled. He was still scared though he tried to hide it.

The Doctor was just about to give some colourful reply when a sudden rap on the door made them all pause.

"Who's that, then?"the Doctor asked after a long moment of silence. James's mouth thinned out as he pressed his lips together. Rose hurried over to the Architect's dead body. She swallowed hard, hesitating before she used the keypad in front of her. This close Rose could see the bullet hole in the Architect's chest. She tore her gaze away from it, focusing on the control panel worked into the table.

Rose pressed a series of buttons until a holographic image appeared in front of her. It showed the camera view from outside the door. Six Clerics from the Church of the Papal mainframe stood outside.

"You called them here?" Rose asked and looked over at James. He said nothing but refused to meet her gaze.

"Jamesy?" At the sound of the far too sweet voice, Rose's attention snapped back to the holographic image. A woman had moved into the frame. Rose's first thought was of Annabelle Conn. After all she had a nasty habit of showing up where you least of all wanted her. But it wasn't Annabelle Conn. "Hello, in there?"the woman spoke again. "Doctor? Agent Tyler? You both in there?" Rose could feel the Doctor's eyes on her, confusion in them. "James? My sweet, sweet James?"

"Who is that?"the Doctor asked Rose. Rose simply stared at the image in disbelief.

"It's Elsa Conn," Rose said. "Annabelle's sister."

The Doctor quickly walked around the table to Rose. He looked more closely at the holographic picture.

"She's dead," he said.

"Yeah. I guess that isn't actually her," Rose allowed. "It's a clone," she explained. The Doctor glanced over at her. His eyebrows rose in question. "That's why Annabelle helped us find Davros's... lair or whatever. Apparently Davros cloned her sister for her."

"Please, do tell me you are kidding."

"Nope." Rose shook her head.

The Doctor rubbed at his forehead. "No, of course you're not. Of course Davros cloned Elsa Conn. Naturally. It makes perfect sense." His voice was so heavy on sarcasm Rose almost laughed.

"While we're on the subject," the Doctor muttered. "Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me?"

"Most likely," Rose admitted.

"Great."

Just then James decided to make a run for it. He ran across the room, throwing himself at the controls to open the door. Both the Doctor and Rose immediately rushed to stop him but they were too far away. The sound of the door releasing made Rose and the Doctor halt. James rushed towards the opening door, pausing just before he reached the light. He glanced back at Rose.

"I wish there'd been another way," he said. "But he has to be stopped."

"What for?!" Rose shouted after him as he dashed through the opened door, vanishing into the light. There was no reply.

Clerics spilled into the room, quickly surrounding the Doctor and Rose, weapons raised. They were dressed in army gear that looked designed for fighting in the desert rather than on a spaceship. It made them look terribly out of place.

The Doctor regarded the soldiers around them. None of them uttered a word, barely even blinked.

"Hello, all," the Doctor said with a bit of cheer, clapping his hands together. "I'm the Doctor and this is..."

"We know who you are," one of the Clerics interrupted. "Both of you."

"Splendid." The Doctor kept smiling even though every move, every shift somehow still relayed a threat. "Then I don't have to convince you all of what will happen..."

"They don't need convincing," Else Conn interrupted from the doorway.

"I wasn't finished." The Doctor spun on his heel, his eyes fixing on Dr. Conn.

"Let me guess," Else said in a bored voice. "You'll make sure we all suffer an eternity if anyone so much as harms a hair on your pretty Rose's head? Sounds about right?"

"I would have gone with something a bit more colourful," the Doctor allowed grudgingly.

Elsa Conn turned around and walked out of sight.

"Are we suppose to follow or...?" the Doctor looked from the doorway to the soldiers for direction. No one moved a muscle.

"I think we should probably follow." Rose was watching the soldiers trigger fingers. They were all on the triggers.

The Doctor and Rose walked out of the room. The flashing light from the evacuation alarm blinded them for a second. It took just a moment for Rose's eyes to adjust again. When they did she saw Elsa Conn standing in the middle of the room. She wasn't an exact copy of her sister but there were similarities.

When Rose had seen Annabelle holding the clone of her sister in her arms Elsa's skin had been deathly pale but flawless. Not a single scar or blemish. The real Elsa had several. She had given whatever her sister had needed to survive. Rose could just imagine what she'd sacrificed.

But now the clone's skin was no longer flawless. She had surgical scars down her neck and across her chest and a nasty one running from her temple and back over her scalp. Her hair was more auburn than Annabelle's and longer. It had grown all the way to her shoulders except for the area with the scar which remained bald. So Annabelle was obviously still fighting to stay alive and now using the clone of her sister to do it. It was a sharp reminder that Annabelle was a monster. Who'd turned this clone version of her sister as monstrous on the outside as she herself was on the inside.

But however horrific the image of Elsa Conn was it did not compare to the two creatures next to her. If creatures were even the right term. They were Daleks. Rose guessed they were the Daleks that had chased them through those dark hallways at Davro's place. The ones that had undoubtedly been some mad experiment of his. They had nearly spider-like mechanical legs and moved in twitches and starts as though they'd never been quite finished.

The two ones that were now on either side of Elsa Conn looked much the same. Except the exterminator gun that Rose knew hadn't been working before gave off a pale blue glow as though running on a slow burn, ready to be used. Their armour was opened and you could hint the Dalek inside, wires ran from it, connecting to the legs that kept sporadically twitching. They were worse than they had been, Rose thought. More twisted. More bent out of shape. Wrong.

Rose could feel the Doctor go very still beside her.

"So that's what killed everyone," he said.

"Oh, you mean my pets?" Dr. Conn said with delight, placing her scarred hands on the heads of the misshapen Daleks. That was why the death's seemed to have been caused by an old Dalek exterminator gun, Rose realised. Because they hadn't been able to make a proper one.

"Daleks are not pets," the Doctor pointed out.

"That thing in the basement?" Rose asked, remembering Dalekanium fused with muscle and bone. Dr. Conn thought for a moment.

"Ah yes," she said, sounding a tad apologetic. "Easy to let it lose, harder to trap it again."

"Why would you even attempt to create something like that in the first place?"the Doctor demanded to know. He was angry and Rose could understand why. Elsa Conn or whoever it was who had actually created them had taken something as twisted and disturbing as a Dalek and somehow made it worse. However bad the Daleks were, however ruthless and hateful they'd still been living creatures. And they'd been taken and twisted into these mindless killing machines.

Dr. Conn turned her eyes on the Doctor and smiled. "Why to fight you, of course," she said sweetly.

"I haven't done anything," the Doctor pointed out.

"Well, we'll see about that," Elsa remarked.

"Look, whatever you're planning you won't succeed," Rose told Dr. Conn. "Cus we'll just stop you."

"Dear, Agent Tyler," Dr. Conn said with a tired sigh. "Did it never cross your mind that you might be on the wrong side? We are actually trying to save the universe here. My sister tried to tell you this. Madam Kovarian tried to tell you and I'm sure your friend did too." She indicated James with a flick of her hand. "We won't be the ones to reignite the war. He is." Her eyes fixed on the Doctor and Rose noticed for the first time that one of her eyes was a pale blue. A dead blue.

"You've got it wrong," the Doctor said.

"No, they don't!" James suddenly shouted. "You'll bring them back! Your whole cursed race!"

Both the Doctor and Rose started.

"Gallifrey?" Rose looked at James but the Doctor's gaze was fixed firmly on Dr. Conn. How could they know they'd saved it?

"Gallifrey is lost," the Doctor said.

"We both know that isn't true," Dr. Conn said.

"It is," the Doctor insisted. "It's trapped in a pocket universe! There is no way of getting there. There is no Gallifrey!"

"You're right," she said. "Because there never will be." She turned to the clerics. "Let's move out," she said. The clerics left the Doctor and Rose to join Dr. Conn. She leaned down to one of the Daleks as though she was going to whisper to it. "Exterminate them," she said. She turned and headed out, the clerics falling into formation around her. The two Daleks shifted, their mechanical-insect legs twitching as they turned towards Rose and the Doctor.

The Doctor clasped Rose's hand and pulled her to him instantly. James looked at a loss as to what to do. But then scrambled after Dr. Conn. Rose cursed. She actually moved to go after him when the Doctor pulled her back. The Daleks moved towards them.

"EX... EX... EXTE... EXTER..." They stuttered like broken toys. It was horrific to watch and Rose remembered the exterminator guns were not as good as the Dalek's would eventually become. It would take longer for them to be killed. Those things would boil their blood until their hearts exploded.

Rose gripped the Doctor's hand so tightly she feared she might break the bones in his fingers. But he was holding on to her with equal desperation.

"Don't take your eyes of them," he said.

"And what exactly is staring at them going to do?" Rose's voice trembled as she watched that faint blue glow at the point of their guns slowly intensify.

"You know, just let me know if..." The Doctor fiddled with her wrist.

"If they kill us?"

"Yeah."

Rose heard the whirring of the sonic and realised just what he was doing a mere second before the first Dalek fired. Both Rose and the Doctor were savagely yanked away. Pulled out of time and space only to be tossed out a second later.

Rose stumbled as the nausea hit her. It was just like when she'd first started using the vortex manipulator only ten times worse. She heard the Doctor groan next to her.

"EXTER...EX...EXTERMI..." Rose glanced back over her shoulder to find the two Daleks swivelling around.

The Doctor had only managed to teleport them a couple of feet. Just past the Daleks.

"Damn, teleportation proof, stupid building," the Doctor muttered.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," Rose moaned.

"Later." The Doctor pulled Rose with him and they ran. They ran through the broken door and out into the hall with the dead. They jumped over fallen Judoon and ducked as exterminator beams blew past them.

The Doctor fiddled with the manipulator on Rose's wrist again and again they were yanked away but quickly slamming back into the world. Now they were further down the hall, having put a bit more distance between themselves and the Daleks. Unfortunately that meant they'd gotten closer to Dr. Conn and the clerics.

Rose and the Doctor skidded to a halt as the clerics spun and fired. The Doctor pulled Rose to the side. They both slammed into a door. Rose pressed the button next to it and the door slid opened. Both of them tumbling inside. Rose fell flat on the Doctor as they hit the floor. He let out a whoosh of air as she crashed into him.

"Sorry," she mumbled, scrambling hastily off him. Rose was back out in the hall before the Doctor had a chance to react. She'd seen James just before the Doctor pulled her away.

The minute she got outside, weapons were raised. Rose hit the nearest cleric in the face with her elbow. He let out a groan as she undoubtedly broke his nose. She used the moment to get the gun away from him. The move went so smoothly she was quite surprised herself. She immediately opened fire, careful not to hit anyone. The clerics quickly shielded Dr. Conn, scrambling to get her out of the line of fire. They didn't know Rose wasn't aiming to kill anyone. It gave Rose time to grab James who'd been cowering on the floor. She threw him into the room where she'd left the Doctor. She tossed the gun away. She'd never developed a taste for guns. Though she'd been forced to learn how to handle them she still didn't like them. Rose rushed in after James and threw the door shut behind her.

Both the Doctor and James stood staring at her. The Doctor looked as though he thought she'd gone mad and James looked as though he feared she'd kill him on the spot.

"Wha...what was that?"the Doctor stuttered.

"Sonic." Rose held out her hand for the device and the Doctor simply handed it over, too stunned to argue. Rose aimed it at the control panel next to the door, locking it. She tossed the sonic back to the Doctor who clumsily caught it. "We should go, yeah?" Rose said. The Doctor was pointing towards the door to James and back again.

"Why?"was all he managed to get out.

Rose didn't answer as she passed him and grabbed James to haul him with them. But James tore free.

"I'm going nowhere with you people."

"I agree," the Doctor said. Rose sighed. "Rose, why? He tried to kill us."

"I still might," James said and Rose could not help but feel a twinge of pain at that.

"Rose, just leave him," the Doctor said.

"I can't," Rose ground out.

"What do you mean you can't?"the Doctor demanded to know. "I'm all for helping people and second chances but he tried to kill you!"

"I promised, Red!" Rose spun towards the Doctor. She could feel James start next to her. But she ignored him and focused on the Doctor, trying to convey what that promise meant.

It would be the last thing she did for them. It was her only way of saying thank you. Even if James had betrayed her. Even if Red had or would. They had still been the only people that had cared for her through all those years. Without them she might not have made it.

After a while the Doctor gave her a simple nod and Rose breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to argue with her.

"Well, I don't care what you promised my brother," James interrupted.

"Well, I don't care that you don't care," Rose replied with annoyance. "I'm getting you back to Red and Lian. What you do after that is up to you."

"How do I know you won't chug me out an airlock on the way?" James asked.

Rose massaged the bridge of her nose with shaking fingers. All her strength was going into keeping the energy locked down as tightly as possible. And it was beginning to wear on her.

"You know..," the Doctor told James sharply. "Because she promised. Got that?" That much about Rose James seemed to remember, that she always kept her promises because he didn't argue the point.

"I assume you'd really rather be with your brother than fighting the Church's wars anyway," Rose muttered as she began setting coordinates on the manipulator. They should be out of the shielded part of the base by now.

"At least they're doing something," James said. Rose held up her arm with the manipulator and both the Doctor and James clasped it. They were yanked away to the sound of the door being blown apart and clerics spilling into the room.

They landed several floors down, back in Red and Lian's lab.

"James!" Red immediately exclaimed. He didn't care that James was doubled over. He pulled him in for a quick hug. "I was afraid you were dead," he said. James uncomfortably pulled away from Red. Rose thought she saw a hint of shame in his eyes as he stepped away. "Thank you... Rose." Red's solemn voice made Rose look up at him. And something she saw in his answered the question before she'd even asked it.

"You knew," Rose said. "Didn't you?" Red didn't say anything so Rose turned on Lian. "You knew what he'd done!"

"Yes, Rose," Lian responded calmly. "That Dr. Conn broadcasted the whole thing across the entire base. Everyone that was left heard it."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rose asked, staring at Lian in disbelief.

"Would you still have gone after him?" Red cut in. "If you'd known he'd betrayed you and killed the Architect?"

Rose took a step back. Her hands were shaking so bad now she had to clasp them tightly so they wouldn't cause her whole body to tremble.

"It wasn't my fault," James repeated yet again and the damm finally broke. Rose spun towards him.

"How wasn't it your fault!?"she shouted at him. Rose felt the energy of the time vortex swirling to life in her eyes and knew she had to calm down but she couldn't. "You put a bullet in her chest! You murdered her! You were going to do the same to me and the Doctor!" James was clutching his arms around himself and shaking his head. "You did!" Rose insisted, trying to pound the words into his skull.

"Rose, it is not that simple," she heard Lian trying to say. "You have to calm down." Rose turned her eyes on Lian and the woman stopped dead. "Red, get the bracelet," Lian said urgently.

Rose knew she was losing control. Actually she pretty much had already. It had been torn from her as she stood in the TARDIS and the Doctor had told her she didn't love him, that there was no hope. No matter that she'd known there wasn't. The pain of hearing the words was something she could never have prepared for.

 _Rose, stop_. The Doctor. Rose shook her head trying to shake him out of it. Of course she couldn't. They were linked. She couldn't get rid of him even if she tried to physically cut him out.

Suddenly Red was there. Rose could feel the bracelet. The way it seemed to push against her. But before he got close the Doctor was in his way. He quickly got the bracelet out of Red's hands.

"You should go," Rose heard the Doctor say. "I'll take care of her." But Red didn't move.

"You don't seem to have done a very good job so far," he said accusingly.

"I'll do better," the Doctor promised. "Just go. They'll undoubtedly be here soon."

Rose was clutching the edge of a table. "Why?" she ground out. "I want to know why."

"Rose..." Lian's voice was soft. Rose turned her head towards her. "I've watched you bear pain no one should ever have to bear." She carefully reached out her hand and arranged some stray lock of Rose's hair and Rose nearly wept because it was such a thing her mum would do. "But not everyone is as strong as you."

"I don't understand, Lian," Rose said, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to push the energy back down.

"The Architect knew something that Dr. Conn didn't want her to know," Lian explained. "And she couldn't get at her because she was locked in the Situation room with James. So Dr. Conn gave James a choice. Either Dr. Conn would kill every last person on this base as brutally and painfully as she could or James could put a bullet in the Architect's chest and Dr. Conn would let those that were left escape." Rose's eyes shifted from Lian to Red and she understood. James had killed the woman that had been the closest thing to a mother he'd ever known to save his brother. Rose was sure he'd saved a lot of other people too. A lot of them had gotten off the base but with people it rarely came down to a rational decision. It came down to what you were prepared to live with or what you simply couldn't live without.

Rose glanced over at James but he wouldn't meet her eyes. He blamed the Doctor because he couldn't face the choice he'd made. He'd readily clung to the idea that Dr. Conn and her clerics were there to stop the Doctor. That this was all his fault because that was easier for him bear.

"Do you understand?" Lian asked.

Rose nodded, feeling what strength she had left to hold herself together waning. She'd been so angry with James, thinking he'd simply betrayed them. But nothing in life was ever simple and everyone had their reasons. Without the anger to hold on to Rose finally faltered. But someone caught her.

"Go," she heard the Doctor say above her head. "I got her."

Rose was only half aware of the three of them leaving but she could feel every single beat of her heart like a pounding through her blood, the energy rising and falling with it. Rose tried to focus her eyes but all she could see were the strings around everything, every atom that made every single thing and how they were all woven into the fabric that was time. Just as she could sometimes see those strings tying her and the Doctor together. Strings as delicate as silk but stronger than the blackest iron. Those strings could not be unwound, could not be broken or severed. They were different than the strings around most everything else. It was easy to unwind those threads. It took nothing but a thought but the cost was her life.

The Doctor's arms came around her.

"I got you," he said softly in her ear. But Rose shook her head. He didn't. That was why she was in this state. Why she no longer had the strength to hold on. Because she stood alone and she wasn't supposed to anymore.

"No, you don't," she said.

She somehow managed to straighten, disentangling herself from him. She took a couple of steps but fell and desperately clutched the table in front of her to stay on her feet. Rose's head was feeling as though it might split in two. Past, present and future was starting to meld together until nothing made sense. She saw battles lost and battles yet to be fought. She saw people and places she'd never known and she saw those she did. She saw universe withering away until nothing but darkness remained, only to snap back again. It was all a big jumble of maybe's and never where's. Things she could never hope to understand and they were burning her from the inside out

She held out her hand towards the Doctor.

"Give me the bracelet," she told him.

"No."

His reply was so simple. The simplest of them all and perhaps one of the most painful.

"Give me the bloody bracelet."

"Rose..."

"Give me the bracelet, Doctor!" Rose flicked her hair out of her face and fixed him with a glowing, pain filled stare. It made him pause.

"Just... use me," he tried, taking a step towards her. "Don't...-"

"I can't!" Rose interrupted him angrily. "I have to love you remember? That's what you told me. How can you help me if I don't?"

Her tone had been cruel this time. She could see it in his eyes. She hadn't meant to be cruel. But she was at the end of her rope and he was jeopardising not only the two of them but most likely whoever was left on the base, perhaps even more.

If the Doctor couldn't trust her it would never work. He would never be able to help her regain control. Because that meant giving into the bond. Giving into each other wholly and completely.

Rose wanted him to be able to do that. She wanted it with all the ragged shards of her broken heart. But she wasn't sure he could.

The Doctor stared at her for a long time and Rose couldn't read his expression, her mind too jumbled to be able to tell what he might be feeling and she kept seeing his face shift. Shape into angles and lines she knew well and other ones she knew far less. She saw her first, she saw the one she'd loved and the one she'd broken. All of them were him in the end and all of them held her heart. But none was a comfort because he was lost to her now. She'd pushed him away to save him and maybe she had but it had cost her everything.

Rose watched the Doctor as he reached out and she held her breath as he clasped the bracelet on her wrist.

The Doctor had been right. It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't pleasant at all. Rose ground her teeth together. It wasn't knee crippling pain it was worse. That indefinable place in her mind where she could always feel the bond, always feel the Doctor was achingly empty as though someone had carved out what was once there. She told herself she'd gone through this before. When he'd first left her after he regenerated. She'd survived months with the aching loss of him. But the bond hadn't been reaffirmed then. It had been an echo. Losing it now didn't feel like drowning but as though she'd already drowned.

But however hard it was to even stay upright Rose could already feel the bracelet numbing her to the world around her and that helped her regain at least some measure of control. She had to focus on that. Because she hadn't drowned. She was alive and so was the Doctor. Rose glanced up at him but immediately wished she hadn't.

When Rose had awoken on the Dalek crucible, locked in that room with the blue crystal keeping her mind from reaching out and linking with the Doctor's. Despite the hurt it caused she'd known the Doctor was alive and out there. Just like now, she knew that despite how it felt he was there. Right in front of her. But the same could not be said for him. The last time he'd felt like this he'd thought he'd just watched her die.

And now he was reliving that moment. She could see it in the paleness of his eyes. The way the light didn't quite seem to reach them. He might no longer trust her but that memory was seared into his mind. Because in that moment he had watched all his futile hopes and distant dreams turn to ash. The future with her he'd just begun to even dare to imagine had been ripped away and he'd been left alone again.

And he'd known. He'd known before he put the bracelet on her wrist, just what it would feel like. He'd known and he'd done it anyway. Rose wasn't sure if it made her want to scream or break down and cry that he'd rather endure that pain than let himself believe for even a second that she might still love him.

Rose watched the Doctor's eyes slowly turn hard. Freezing over like ice over a lake late in winter. The armour was coming back on. The armour he used to shield himself from all the horror he had to face. The armour she had once stripped away.

"We should go," he said, his voice as hard as his eyes. Rose said nothing. Did nothing. She just stood there and stared at him. She didn't know what to do anymore. What to tell herself. How she could make herself believe that this was all worth it in the end.

The bracelet might help contain the power surging through her blood but it had its limits and the Doctor had just made it clear he would not bring her back. And without him, without the bond it was just a matter of time. They were meant to be together, keeping each other in constant balance. Without that the huon particles in her blood could never remain stable, not unless she found some way to shut of all her emotions. To become nothing more than those things Elsa Conn had created. Soulless machines.

Rose straightened, feeling weak in the knees. She was tired. So unbelievably tired.

"Yeah," she said. "Let's go." She held up her arm with the vortex manipulator on it and realised she couldn't do it. She unsnapped it and held it out to the Doctor. "Take it,"she said. "I'll make my own way back."

"You can't...-" the Doctor began but Rose quickly cut him off.

"I can't make it through another jump," she said. "I'll make myself sick- er," she added. "Just take it." She pushed it hard against his chest. Mutely he took it, strapping it on his own wrist.

"See you in a bit," he said and then he was gone.

Rose still felt like screaming and crying all at once. Even though she'd asked him to go and had actually wanted him too she couldn't quite believe he'd simply left her. She clutched the edge of the table in front of her, hunching down and struggling to take long, deep breaths. Feel nothing, she told herself. You have to start feeling nothing.

The problem was she was Rose Tyler. She couldn't feel nothing. She could never feel nothing. Silent tears fell from her eyes when a voice broke through the stillness. It was a familiar one but not the one she needed.

"Rose...?" Lian asked softly. She'd come back for some reason. Rose held up her hand to show the bracelet, letting Lian know she wasn't a threat. "I'm sorry," Lian said.

"He thinks I can't love him," Rose breathed, staring straight ahead at nothing. Lian hunkered down next to Rose. She put a careful hand on her shoulder. Rose barely felt it. Lian didn't say anything but took Rose's hand and placed something in it.

"This is what the Architect knew," Lian said. "This is what she was killed over. This is what they were all killed over."

Rose forced herself to look down at what Lian had placed in her hand. It was a small memory unit, no bigger than her thumb.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"We have no idea," Lian said and rose to her feet. "But the Church clearly thought it worth all this." Lian gazed out over the lab. It was a mess as she and Red had rushed to save as much as possible. The blue evacuation light still flared from overhead. Perhaps this was the fall of the Shadow Proclamation or perhaps they'd rise again. Who knew. "Be careful," Lian said. Rose laughed without humour.

"Too late," she said.

"I mean, with that," Lian said, indicating the memory stick in Rose's hand. "The Church went to a lot of trouble to keep that information from your Doctor." Rose pulled herself up straight.

"He's not mine," she was quick to point out.

"He'll always be yours," Lian said, her voice softening a little. "Me and Red might understand the bond you have even better then you do. The Doctor can fight it or deny it all he likes but he'll be yours until it kills you both."

And with those words Lian left. Ran after Red and James to destinations unknown. Rose knew she'd never see any of them again. Her time with them was passed.

With some regret Rose glanced around the lab one last time. She'd spent many hours there as Red and Lian ran their tests trying to find ways to undo what the Doctor had done. But they hadn't been any more successful than the Time Lords. As Rassilon had said, the bond was as eternal as the howling. There would never be a way to undo it. It wasn't meant to be undone. The closest they'd come was the Doctor regenerating. But even that hadn't been able to completely erase it. The bond had still been there, the strings just waiting to be retied, constantly searching for the connection they'd lost.

Suddenly a sound more beautiful and more terrifying than any Rose could imagine filled the room. It was the sound of the TARDIS. Rose felt her hair blow away from her neck, some strands getting in her eyes and tangling with her lashes. She would have brushed it away but wasn't sure she had the will. She turned around seeing the wonderful blue box materialise in the middle of the lab. Her hair blew away from her face as her eyes ran over the familiar letters spelling out; police public call box, the single light at the top flashing in tune with the sound of the engines. The bluest blue, Rose thought. Bigger on the inside. Impossible and frighting and absolutely amazing.

The door opened and a head of dark hair appeared. The Doctor looked over at her, his blue-green eyes as cold as they'd been when he left.

"Coming?"he asked, his voice however not quite steady. Perhaps he was unsure of her answer. Rose realised that for a moment she was as well. But then she nodded and he disappeared inside. Rose left all she'd known for a long time behind, walking into the TARDIS and squeezing the memory stick she'd gotten from Lian so tightly in her fist that the edges was digging painfully into her palm.


	61. Chapter 61 - Home

**Alright, this took me forever to post again. So sorry! Truly. My plan was actually to have this whole thing done my Christmas. Fair to say I failed royally. I hate when life takes away from writing. But anywho, the chapter starts up a little bad but it gets better. I promise! I know there's been a lot of bad lately but good is coming.**

 **I hope you all had an absolutely brilliant Christmas! Cheers to a festive New Years and hopefully next year will be the best ever!  
**

 **Hope you like the chapter! (It's extra long)**

Chapter 61 - Home

As Rose stepped into the TARDIS, looking around the room she realised a part of her still somehow expected the old interior. She'd thought to be met by that warm yellow glow the room used to have, to smile at the mad way the centre console had been constructed. But that was all gone now. What met her was sleek and grey. Fancy, she supposed but it didn't quite feel like home to her anymore. Cold, white light flashed from overhead as the circular rings with the Gallifreyan words on them began to turn. They were already leaving.

The Doctor was at the console, steering the ship. She noticed he'd taken his coat off for some reason. The dark waistcoat he wore over his dress shirt was snug as though perfectly tailored to him. And perhaps it was. Rose didn't know. Hadn't bothered to ask. His dark hair hung in his eyes, while his hands ran rapidly over the buttons and gears.

"Planning on coming inside or are you just going to stand there?" he asked without raising his head. Rose pocketed the memory stick and walked into the room, running her hand along the railing as she did. Even that felt cold. Perhaps it wasn't the TARDIS, perhaps it was her.

"You can take that off now," she heard the Doctor say. She looked up at him but his eyes were still on the console. Rose glanced down at the bracelet around her wrist. It was a crude construction. The metal was unpolished, the wires and screws on the inside scraped at her skin and worst of all it made her feel numb to everything. Rose hated it but right now it might be just what she needed. "The bracelet," the Doctor clarified. "You're inside the TARDIS now you can take it off."

"I think I'll just leave it on," Rose said distractedly, still running her gaze over the room, wondering what made the TARDIS decide on the decor. It was so drastically different from before. Not necessarily bad but different.

It was after several minutes had past that Rose noticed the room had become very silent, very still. She tore her gaze away from the ceiling and found the Doctor, his hands clasping the edge of the console and his head hanging forwards between his shoulders.

"You're going to leave it on?"he ground out between his teeth.

"I think that might be bes..-"

The Doctor slammed his hand down so hard on the console the noise cut Rose off before she'd finished the sentence.

"Best?!" He pushed himself straight, turning on her.

"Rose, so help me, if you don't take that thing off I'll tear it off your wrist!"

"You're the one who put it on!"

He took a few steps towards her. "Because you were losing control! Now take it off," he said. Rose protectively wrapped her fingers around the bracelet, holding it to her chest.

"No," she said and the Doctor lunged for her. Rose quickly scuttled out of his reach. "Don't you dare," she warned him. The Doctor's lips tightened in a thin line.

"Rose..." he asked. "Don't do this."

"I didn't," she told him. "You did."

She turned away from him, going for the stairs. Keeping the bracelet on was her choice not his. Rose took the steps two at a time, eager to be away. But the Doctor followed. She barely got into the hallway before she felt his hand on her shoulder. So she spun, pushing him away. Harder than she had intended. He fell back, hitting the hallway wall behind him. They stared at each other. Something dark and elemental seemed to pass between them. It was the same as when he'd kissed her after they'd trapped that creature in the basement at the Shadow proclamation. Something born out of anger and pain. Something dangerous.

The Doctor pushed away from the wall, catching her wrist before she managed to get out of his way. He could be so very quick. He yanked her close, holding her arm up, ready to do as he threatened and rip the bracelet off. Rose felt a rush of something akin to fear chase its way down her spine.

"You wouldn't hurt me, Doctor," Rose said, thinking to remind him where he stood. Where a good man stood. In case he needed it.

"Hurt you?" The Doctor halted, surprise on his face. "Oh, you know I can't hurt you, Rose." His voice dropped an octave or two. "You would have to love me for me to really hurt you."

The Doctor leaned down a little closer to her. Rose tried to pull a way. She realised it wasn't him she was afraid of it was herself. Because the fear wasn't the only thing rushing trough her blood. His mere touch still had the power to send fire raging through her. Bond or no bond. That would never change.

"If you loved me..." he continued, his voice horribly soft. "... you could never have left me. You would have felt what I felt." The Doctor's breath sluiced over Rose's skin as he put his lips near her ear. She shivered. His voice was dropping to a whisper. "You would have cursed your own useless heart because you couldn't tear it out of your chest."

The Doctor pulled back and Rose could feel cool air shifting between them. She suddenly didn't want air between them, She wanted nothing between them. So before he could let her go or pour more hurtful words over her Rose gave in to the howling that had begun in her blood, the urge burning through her bones.

Their lips crashed together simultaneously. As though they'd both possessed the exact same thought at the exact same time. The Doctor's hands release her wrist and grabbed at her jacket, pulling her against him, hers fisted in his hair. There was nothing of tenderness in their movements. There was nothing of the way they used to touch when everything had been different.

At times there had been a desperation in the way he held her or in the way she moved her lips against his. But this wasn't desperate. This was something else. The Doctor angled his head, deepening the frenzied kiss and despite the bracelet Rose felt every inch of her come alive with fire. It had begun in her gut, swirling up through her chest, ruthlessly fuelling whatever dark need that drove them both. His hands had found their way beneath her jacket, fighting to get at her bare skin. He arched her back, Rose's arms wrapping tightly around his neck, clinging to him so she wouldn't fall. It was like they were literally trying to fuse their bodies together.

At first Rose thought anger drove the rough way his hands clawed at her, the way she recklessly pressed her body to his but it slowly became evident that it wasn't anger. It was this sick, burning need for destruction. They were trying to destroy each other because that was all that was left.

Rose felt the Doctor's tongue tangle with her own, every stroke marked by need and possession and she met it eagerly. She raked her nails across his cheek not knowing or caring if she drew blood while Lian's words pounded through her skull.

He'll be yours until it kills you both.

He was hers. Not matter what he said, no matter what he claimed. He would always be hers. He hadn't been River's or that nurse Joan's that he'd met when he was human. No one who'd come before her or after because Rose and the Doctor were a fixed point in time. One that echoed through the ages. Hammering through space and blazing across the skies. He couldn't deny that anymore than she could.

Rose was tearing the bowtie undone as his hands finally found their way under her shirt, clutching at her waist. No matter how rushed or desperate there had still been a certain artistry to his movements before that he lacked now. All refinement was gone. There was only this. This aching need to fall into the darkness and be sure to drag the other one down with them.

Rose wanted more of her skin against his. Needed it. Every fibre of her being was screaming inside her to take it. If he wouldn't give it than take it. Claim it. Prove to him that this at least would never change. She would always want him. However dark and twisted the road. Whatever ruin it brought them both. Until suddenly the Doctor caught her wrists in a vicelike hold, yanking her away from him. His eyes were wild as they stared into hers and she imagined hers was as well. She felt wild. Wild and damned. His chest rose rapidly up and down as Rose could feel her single heart hammering away inside her.

That wild passion playing in those light eyes of his hid it at first. But then Rose saw it. Fear. Actual fear. And before she could say or do anything he pushed her away. Rose stumbled before she caught her footing. She looked up at him, her own dark thoughts echoing inside her head. Take it. Claim it. Don't ask.

"We can't do this," the Doctor said, as he stared at her. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, perhaps the only thing keeping him from reaching for her again. "I don't want this with you," he said harshly. "Not again. Not ever. Do you hear me?"

"Why?" she threw out recklessly.

"Because I know, even if you can't admit it."

"Know what?" Fire was still coursing through Rose's blood, calling for an outlet. He was calming down. She could see it. The fire was cooling. Replaced by ice. But the heat in her blood had not yet stilled.

"The look in your eyes when you woke up in Amy's room."

"What?" Rose blinked up at him. She didn't understand. What did Amy have to do with any of this?

"That's when I knew," he said. "Knew whatever you felt died when I regenerated. I knew and still I dared to believe. Dared to imagine I could actually change your mind. That I could somehow convince you to love me again. Never again, Rose."

"What are you even talking about?"

"You couldn't bear to have me near you! You couldn't even recognise me!"

"How dare you throw that in my face?!" Rose screamed, finally understanding what he was blaming her for. That moment when she'd just woken up and she'd been disoriented, not being able to feel the bond and without it she hadn't dared to believe what her heart was telling her was right in front of her. That, that new face she didn't know was him. Her Doctor. She hadn't dared to believe because if it had turned out to be a trick it would have killed her.

"It's the truth!" he shouted back. "Did you even care for me in the beginning? Or was that just another lie?!"

"How can you say that? What is wrong with you?!" Rose stumbled back, away from him, somehow not quite able to believe the things he was saying. Everything was suddenly coming into question. Every single thing she'd ever done. She clutched the railing, backing away down the stairs. "I would have died for you!" she said. "I nearly did. Or have you forgotten what happened when you sent me away?"

His face was hard as he stared at her but he said nothing.

"I looked into the heart of the TARDIS!" Rose reminded him. "I absorbed the energy of the time vortex! I destroyed an entire Dalek fleet! For you!"

"Then what changed?" The Doctor looked around as though the answer might simply be hanging in the air somewhere. But when his eyes finally settled on Rose he looked none the wiser. "What's wrong with this body?" He asked. "This face. What did I do?"

Rose shook her head as she continued backing away.

"Nothing," she said.

"Well, there must have been something," the Doctor pointed out, taking a few steps towards her. But Rose shook her head, her eyes on the chain to his pocket watch rather than his face. "So you just can't see that it's still me this time then? You're simply too human." She reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I would like you to stop talking now," Rose said, thinking that if he continued she would either lash out at him or turn and run. It was the flee or fight instinct when faced with danger. And right now he was dangerous. Because he was hurting her. With every accusation he cut her just a little deeper. What if he cut too deep? What if he cut so deep her heart wouldn't be able to take it?

"Just admit it," the Doctor said, taking the first couple of steps down towards her. "Saving me was just the excuse you needed to leave. You can't love me anymore. You know you can't. Admit it."

Rose stumbled back. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. She wasn't sure if she was afraid of what she might see in his eyes at this point or if she was afraid of what he might see in hers.

"Rose..." His voice had gotten that soft quality again. "Look at me." He moved smoothly down the stairs. "Look at me and admit it." He joined her at the bottom and Rose couldn't bring herself to even do half of what he asked. "It's alright," he said. "I won't break. You've done that already."

Rose thought she might scream. She even opened her mouth but no sound came. Nothing. Rose could feel all those jagged shards inside her, the ones that made up her broken heart cut and tear at her insides. He wanted her to say she didn't love him. A lie she hadn't even been able to tell when his life had hung in the balance.

"You..." The one word came out as nothing but a croak and Rose was forced the clear her throat. "You want me to say I don't love you,"she managed to get out.

"I want you to admit it," the Doctor said, his voice still soft. She preferred it when he'd shouted at her. She wanted to shout at him. To rage and howl for the things he was saying and for wanting them.

Rose drew in a ragged breath. "Alright," she said, barely recognising the sound of the word. She raised her head, forcing herself to meet his eyes. Like shards of stained glass she thought, knowing she'd had the same thought before. "I'll say it," she said, her voice sounding foreign to her. Something sparked beneath the glass surface of his eyes but she couldn't tell what. "If you do."

She knew it was a dare. A dare she didn't expect him to meet. Because he'd said he would always love her. He'd said it so many times. That no matter what she did to him that would never change. But perhaps somewhere along the way it had. Somewhere in the past few hours she'd burned even that out of him. Because he did.

He did say it.

"I don't love you."

The Doctor told Rose Tyler he didn't love her.

He said the words and the stars themselves fell and might never rise again. Because what was the point? What was the point in littering the night skies in diamond dust if there was nothing left worth shining for?

Rose realised the Doctor might only have said it to meet her dare but if he had it was a cruel thing to do. And he wasn't suppose to be cruel. Never cruel nor cowardly. That was the promise.

Rose swallowed hard. "You're just saying that," she tried, barely getting the words out.

"Am I?"the Doctor asked.

"Th...thought you'd always love me," she stuttered, feeling as though someone else was speaking. She couldn't feel her body, couldn't feel her lips moving. Nothing. He didn't say a word and so she turned away from him, stumbling forwards. Miraculously she made it all the way to the console without falling, without shedding a single tear. Perhaps there were no tears for this, she thought. What was the point of tears anyway? They could no longer ease her pain and most importantly, there was no one left who cared enough to dry them.

Rose landed the TARDIS. The Doctor was calling her name but she couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything. Not even her own heart beating. She looked up, fixing her eyes on the doors. She just had to get there, she thought. It wasn't far. She could make it there.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she realised this was the mistake she'd done before. Leaving the TARDIS when she should have stayed. But she had the bracelet now. She wouldn't hurt anyone. And if she imploded, what did that matter anyway?

"Rose!" Suddenly the Doctor was there, blocking her path. She felt confused, not quite knowing how to get rid of the obstacle. The Doctor clasped her arms, shouting her name again. She twisted, trying to get free but he wasn't letting her. "I asked you to do something!" he was screaming. The hold he had on her was tight enough to make her flinch had she been able to feel it. "Say it!" he demanded. "Say it!" He shook her ruthlessly. "Tell me you don't love me!" Rose pushed him away again. He stumbled back, his grip slipping from her. She moved past him towards the doors but just as she put her hand on the doorknob he got a hold of her hand. She looked down and saw the vortex manipulator still on his wrist.

She'd forgotten she'd given it to him. Rose turned back towards him and briefly saw something flicker in his eyes. Some resemblance of hope. But she simply unclasped the manipulator from his wrist. She doubted he even noticed, his eyes focused unflinchingly on her face.

"Tell me!" he insisted, his voice so wrought with desperate despair that it had finally lost its horrible softness. It was raw now. Rose raised her gaze to his.

"Let me go," she said. But he shook his head.

"You said, you would admit it." He couldn't seem to let it go and she couldn't understand why. What did it matter if she said the words or not? He'd made it clear he could never trust her again. Nothing she could ever say would have any weight. "Say it, Rose," he said. "Say it!"

Rose tore free of him. She stumbled blindly out of the doors without a word. But the minute she stepped outside she gasped. It looked like she had somehow landed them smack in the middle of a volcano. The rock beneath her feet was shifting as magma ran like a river past the TARDIS. Rose looked around in shock. It was a fiery landscape, awash in heat and lava. It spanned as far as she could see, like the whole planet was a burning inferno. Like she'd literally landed them in hell.

The Doctor tore opened the door behind her but Rose was already stumbling away. The ground kept moving, ready to dissolve in the burning lava floating underneath. The Doctor was shouting her name as she fought to keep her balance. Rose felt the heat from the ground burning her cheeks and the air was heavy to breath.

"Rose!" She could hear panic in his voice now. She turned around. He had taken a few steps away from the TARDIS but the ground before him had dissolved into a river of magma. He couldn't get any further. Rose raised her arm with the vortex manipulator on it. She hastily punched in a set of coordinates. If she had nowhere left to go she supposed she had to go back

She couldn't read the Doctor's expression as she pressed the final button but she heard him scream.

Rose was yanked away from the heat, the echo of the Doctor's voice following her into the time vortex. She hurled through it, the sensations of both falling and rushing forwards making her dizzy. Until she finally hit solid ground again.

The floor was pale stone, the walls equally so. She stumbled down a hallway, having a little trouble putting one foot in front of the other. She halted, leaning against the wall for a second, trying to gather what strength she still had.

"Are you lost, young lady?" She turned around, finding an elderly gentleman behind her, his hair white but his eyes bright and alive with curiosity. There seemed to be something strangely familiar about him.

"Who are you?" Rose managed to get out, feeling like she might collapse at any second.

"I am the curator," the man replied, his voice pleasant.

"A curator," Rose mumbled. "I was looking for a Doctor."

"Well, you found one." The man smiled and Rose narrowed her eyes at him. Why was she getting the feeling she might know him? "Only the one left though I'm afraid," the man continued, walking past her. "Though I should perhaps warn you, he's in quite a state."

Rose followed the gentleman a few steps further down the hall, soon taking a right turn and entering a room which held the painting of the fall of Arcadia. But the painting, however exquisitely made was not what caught her attention. It was the beautiful blue police box standing to one side, the blue paint faded and worn. And the man sitting on the floor leaning his back against it, his brown coat fallen out around him and his slim fingers clutching his messy head of hair.

"Doctor..." Rose croaked out, taking a step forwards but finally faltering. Ten shot to his feet at the sight of her, rushing over and somehow catching her before she hit the floor.

"Rose? Rose?" The joyful disbelief in his voice was enough to make her heart sing. Enough to brush away just for a moment all that pain. Because this was the Doctor before she broke him. This was him when there was still hope for them.

"Doctor." She struggled to focus her eyes. His hands were at her face, brushing her hair away. Then at her neck, her wrist her waist. She heard the whirring sound of the sonic, catching a glimpse of that old, familiar blue light.

She realised she must look a right mess. Her jeans were torn, bandage around her leg, dust and dirt no doubt in her hair.

"Rose, what happened?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

"Tripped," she said and the look he gave her told her he didn't believe such a stupid statement for one second.

"Rose...-" he began but she interrupted him.

"Just... hold me," she said. "Please, Doctor." She shook her head, a single tear falling out of the corner of her eye. "Just for a minute." He headed her request without question, gathering her close. Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, crying silently into his shoulder. His hand ran in soothing strokes up and down her back while he murmured meaningless words of comfort in her ear. Rose drew in a deep breath, drawing in the scent of his wonderful, old coat, the freshly washed smell of his hair and the scent of his skin. The painful thing was that in a lot of ways he still smelled the same. Though he was different he still felt the same, tasted the same. If she closed her eyes he might never have changed at all. The differences were so subtle. Her very first one had that faint smell of smoke about him, this version had the barest hint of apples. Green ones, not red. And the new one, just a touch of vanilla. But she needed to be really close to be able to tell that difference because at the core it was still him. Always him.

Rose clung to the Doctor, thinking she might never let go. Because the biggest difference was that this version wasn't broken.

"Rose, you're starting to scare me," the Doctor said, keeping his arms around her. "Tell me what's wrong." Rose buried her face against his neck.

"We're falling apart," she managed to get out. "We're falling apart, Doctor and I can't stop it. I can't... I..."

"Shhh," he murmured softly. "It's ok."

"I broke you. I broke us. I did it to save you I swear I did but you won't believe me. You can't. Not anymore. Not after what I did." Rose kept rambling, knowing he might not understand a word of it but needing so desperately to get it out all the same. "I can't stop us falling apart," she cried. The Doctor's arms tightened around her.

"I got you," he said. "It's ok, Rose. I got you."

Rose wasn't sure for how long he held her while she cried or how long it took before he gently slipped his arm under her knees and picked her up. She was exhausted. Hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, injured her leg, had her heart broken over and over again. She couldn't stand anymore.

She thought she got a brief glimpse of the console room as she remembered it. The warm, welcoming glow of the room and the soft hum of the ship. The Doctor carried her through the halls of the TARDIS. She didn't know where he was taking her. Wasn't sure it mattered. Not as long as he held her. She fell asleep in his arms, clutching a piece of his coat in her fist.

When she awoke she woke up to familiar arms around her, a body she knew beneath her, the calm rhythm of the Doctor's dual heartbeats against her ear. She snuggled a little closer, not yet ready to open her eyes.

"Rose?" His voice was soft, tender. His fingers brushed softly against her temple. They were sitting, him leaning back with her in his lap. Rose mumbled something in the affirmative. "A.. are you with me?" he asked so quietly she barely heard him. She nodded against his chest.

"Always," she mumbled and only then did she notice that he'd actually held his breath as he said it. "That's not the problem," Rose said. "The problem is you don't want me anymore." He was silent for a moment, taking in her words, keeping up the soothing strokes against her temple.

"There will never be a day when I don't want you," the Doctor said then.

Rose opened her eyes but quickly noticed she could might as well have kept them closed. Wherever they were it was pitch black. She couldn't see her hand in front of her.

"Where are we?"she asked. "I can't see a thing."

"Oh, hang on." The blue light of the sonic lit up above Rose's head and high above them light twinkled to life like stars in the night. Rose watched in wonder as supernovas burst forth, birthing rainbow nebula's and diamond galaxies. "TARDIS map room," the Doctor explained as they both gazed up at the wonder swirling to life above their heads. Planets of every size and colour burst forth in rays of light, stars as bright as the Earth's own sun erupted in the dark room, casting shadows along the walls.

"This is not how I'd imagined a map room would look like," Rose remarked.

"Have you ever known the Time Lords to do anything simply?" the Doctor asked her with a chuckle.

"S'pose you're right," Rose admitted, smiling up at the artificial night sky. "Where's Earth?" Rose asked as she looked around the room for it.

"Right over there," the Doctor said, pointing away among the stars. A small blue planet came drifting their way. Rose held out her hand and it landed neatly in her palm, hovering inches above her skin.

"I never thought I'd miss it," Rose said as she watched it. "Not while I had all of time and space to explore."

"Eventually you always miss home," the Doctor said with a touch of sadness. He would know all about missing one's home after all. Rose released the Earth and it drifted back up among the stars.

"What about...?" Rose looked around. "Where's Gallifrey?"

The sonic whirred and the planets changed in size. A tight vortex of glittering stars came forth, hovering above them.

"This is your milky way," the Doctor explained. He sent it away with a flick of his hand. The planets and galaxies swirled slowly around them until another stopped. "This is the constellation of Kasterborous." It was a glittering sea of stars and planets. "And at it's heart..." The Doctor reached up, ceasing a burnt orange orb. "...is Gallifrey." He held it in his hand for Rose to see. She reached out, touching it with the tip of her finger. Her finger passed through, it was just an image.

"I've only ever seen it like this," Rose said. "Do you think I'll ever stand on it?"

"Unlikely," the Doctor admitted regretfully. "If we managed to save it. Gallifrey is stuck in a pocket universe. It's doubtful anyone will ever see it again."

"Tell me about it," Rose asked, leaning her head back against his chest.

"I have," the Doctor said. He had. In bits and pieces. Where he now was in his timeline he had been far from explicit. A careless comment dropped without thought, a memory shared on some night they'd stood gazing up at the night sky.

"Tell me again," Rose said. "Tell me of the slopes of red grass and the snow capped mountains." The Doctor leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "And how the silver leaves burn in the sunrise." As she spoke Rose imagined it all. How those silver leaves would catch the early light and how that red grass would spark with frost left over from the night.

"It's difficult to describe home with just words," the Doctor said into her hair. "I must have shown you."

"Shown me?" Rose furrowed her brow as she thought of that. "How would you..." she trailed off realising what he meant. The bond would surely have allowed him to share his memories with her.

"I haven't?"the Doctor asked, raising his head and looking down on her. Rose turned her eyes up to his and shook her head.

He ran his fingers lightly down her cheek. No hint of electricity accompanied the touch. He frowned down at her.

"It's not gone," Rose hastened to assure him. She held up her arm with the bracelet. "This blocks it. That's all." He took her wrist in his delicate fingers, turning it over as he scrutinised the bracelet.

"Why would you do that?" he asked and even though he might try to sound casual Rose could hear the hurt in his voice. She slipped her hand out of his light hold and hastily drew her sleeve down.

"I didn't," she said. "You did."

She expected him to either argue the point or ask her to explain what she could possibly have done to warrant him doing such a thing but he didn't. He just wrapped his arms tightly around her, leaning his cheek against the top of her head and said nothing at all. Rose had never been more grateful for anything in her entire life.

"So, what was it you were saying about Gallifrey?" Rose asked, mumbling into his shirt so she was surprised he heard her.

"I kinda liked hearing you talk about it," he said softly. "What else have I told you? Not nearly enough I imagine."

"You don't talk about it much," Rose admitted. He didn't even now when they'd known each other for as long as they had. She knew it had nothing to do with her. It was just painful for him to relive the memories. Rose took a deep breath. "You've told me about the Academy," she said. "How gruelling it was. How you had trouble sticking to the rules." He chuckled at that.

"Yeah well, if the rule is idiotic, break it." It was Rose's turn to laugh.

"At least you're consistent."

"Still breaking rules then?"

"Left and right," Rose confirmed.

The Doctor was silent for a moment before he asked, "What am I really like now?" Rose paused, not even sure how much she could or should tell him. "I won't remember what you tell me," he reminded her. Rose took a deep breath.

"You're..." she trailed off searching for the right words. "You're harder around the edges," she said. "Less forgiving."

"Am I cruel?"

Rose struggled up hastily, placing her hands against his chest to push herself up.

"No," she said immediately, shaking her head. Even though she wasn't sure if it was true. He had just told her he didn't love her and if that wasn't the truth it had been a cruel thing to say. But Rose quickly realised cruelty needed intent and there had been no intent. Cruel for cruelties sake would never be who he was. No matter what he was put through. "Of course not," Rose assured him with more conviction. "You're still... you. You still help people, you still run like mad and you..."

"Still love you," the Doctor filled in for her and Rose felt as though he'd punched her in the chest. This version of him hadn't been able to tell her. This was him after he'd left her at Bad wolf bay with the words lodged in his throat. It had taken him time to actually voice it.

"Of course you do," Rose said, feeling the lie like a nail to her heart.

As she looked into those wonderful brown eyes of his she realised he was in part defining himself by his love for her. He was the man who helped people, who ran and who loved Rose Tyler. But then who was she? The girl out of time? The Bad wolf? The one who ruined the Doctor?

Rose reached up her hand and trailed her fingers across his cheek, brushing by the very corner of his eye, marvelling for a moment at the delicate bones and lines of his face. She didn't want to be defined by what she'd done to him, regardless of the reason. She wanted to be the one who loved him not the one who ruined him.

"I do love you, you know." Rose took a shaky breath. "I love you so much I'll..." The Doctor halted her before she could finish. His hands came up to cup her face.

"Hey," he said. "I know you do." Rose stared at him and saw all that trust she would later break burning deep in his eyes. "I know, do you hear me?" His thumb brushed lightly across her cheekbone, making her instinctively lean in a little to his touch. She had no idea how he knew this was exactly what she needed to hear. How he knew this was the very reason she'd come here, even though she'd not known it herself until this moment.

She had come to tell him she loved him knowing he'd believe her. She needed him to believe her. And he did. He knew.

Rose flung her arms around the Doctor's neck. She told him again. Over and over. I love you. I love you. And the way he held her told her he did know. He did know she loved him. Had never doubted it. He hadn't needed the words to know. He'd seen it in her actions, in her secret smiles and quiet laughter. Just as she had seen those things in him. She just hadn't dared to believe it back then. She had needed the words. She didn't need them anymore. She might need to say them but she didn't need to hear them. Loving each other had become a part of who the Doctor and Rose were. Because what defines us if not the things we love?

Eventually Rose managed to let go of her hold on him and settle more comfortably back in the Doctor's lap. They fit easily together. Still did. Even though he'd changed. Physically they still fit. The Doctor began pointing out different star system above them as Rose followed his finger with her eyes.

He told her of civilisations so grand they'd spanned aeons. He told her of shimmering cascades of light in never ending meteor rains. Galaxies filled with planets of every colour, creatures and cities so extraordinary, the telling of their beauty brought tears to her eyes.

The Doctor told her of places forgotten and lost to everyone but him. He'd remember them. He would always remember them.

There they both sat, their fingers entwined and their eyes on the artificial heavens above. Eventually Rose lost track of what the Doctor was saying and simply enjoyed the sound of his voice. The soft, familiar timbre of it. Without looking she could hear it when he smiled or when he grew solemn. The rise and fall told her when he was explaining something exciting or relating things of tragedy or triumph. And in that moment she dared to imagine for just a second that everything was alright. They were the Doctor and Rose Tyler and they had all of time and space at their feet. Thousands of unknown worlds to explore, forgotten ages to relive. It was all waiting out there. Just beyond the horizon.

"Rose?"

The sound of her name brought Rose out of the drowsy state she'd fallen into.

"Mmm," she mumbled.

"Did I lose you?" he asked.

"You'll never lose me, Doctor," Rose vowed, only half awake. He chuckled.

"No, I said there is one more thing this thing can do." Rose opened her eyes, glancing up at him.

"What?" she asked. The Doctor smiled down at her as he raised the sonic and suddenly the stars and planets filling the room burst. One by one they exploded. Rose sat up and stared around. They exploded into snowflakes. The dark room filled with glowing, twinkling snowflakes, drifting down and vanishing near the floor. Rose got up on her feet. "Snow," she said, laughing. "It makes..." She glanced down at the Doctor where he sat smiling up at her. She raised her eyebrows in question.

"Holographic snowflakes, yes." He grinned. "Well," he allowed, tilting his head characteristically to the side as he drew the word out. "I'll admit it couldn't always do that. I may have tweaked it a bit."

"And the first thing you thought of was making it snow." Rose smiled fondly as she shook her head.

"Of course," he said as though it was the most logical thing in the world.

Rose smiled, looking over at him where he sat. She held out her hand. "A dance, Doctor?" she asked. The Doctor's eyes shifted down to her hand, slowly filling up with suspicion.

"I don't..." he began hesitantly.

"The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances," Rose teased. His eyes raised to hers and she gave him a smile she reserved only for him.

And how could he deny her when she smiled like that? How could he ever?

So the Doctor took her hand and let her pull him to his feet.

"Hang on." The Doctor aimed the sonic back over his shoulder and soft, beautiful music filled the room. Rose thought she recognised the tune but wasn't sure. It somehow instantly made her think of that Christmas in her mum's flat. The adrenaline of victory still singing in her veins, surrounded by family and friends. Her mum and Mickey, and then the Doctor waltzing in, in his new suit and coat. Grinning while she smiled at him as though he might be the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen.

The Doctor pocketed his sonic and put his hand carefully at Rose's waist. There was a slight moment of hesitation before he gently urged her a step closer. Rose went easily, placing her free hand on his shoulder. She smiled encouragingly up at him and he grinned confidently before he moved, pulling her gently with him.

Dancing with the Doctor was always easy. Whether it was the joy of simply spinning around in the console room with Captain Jack laughing with them or one New Years Eve when she'd worn the most beautiful dress in her whole life or even around a fire while they were both dancing madly with their hands above their heads.

Now they moved together smoothly, softly to music equally gentle while snow drifted down around them. Snow that wasn't cold but still so very beautiful. It looked like the kind of snow that fell when it was really, really cold. Not fluffy like cotton but sharp and exquisite frozen flakes. Every last one a masterpiece and every last one totally unique. Light seemed to catch each flake as it fell, sparking of the ice crystals like diamonds.

Their dancing slowed with the music until they stood swaying lightly, holding each other with the snow falling around them.

"This makes me think of Christmas," Rose said, thinking to perhaps share the memory that had sprung to life in her mind of her first Christmas with him, when her family had still been there and she'd been so ridiculously happy.

"Kind of the point," the Doctor said. "Everyday can be Christmas when you've got the TARDIS." She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Do you remember that one just after you regenerated?" Rose asked. She felt him nod. "With the Sycorax."

"How can I forget," the Doctor said. "I won a trail by combat in my jimjams." Rose chuckled lightly, seeing the image his words painted in her mind. Those blue striped pyjamas. He had looked a lot better in them than anyone had a right to.

"You quoted the Lion King."

"I did!"the Doctor exclaimed happily.

"Then you spent Christmas with us. With me and my mum and Mickey."

"I remember." His tone had become more solemn.

"That was a good day," Rose said.

"That was a brilliant day," he corrected. "Although..." he trailed off, falling silent. Rose raised her head, looking up at him.

"What?"she asked. His gaze didn't meet hers but shot straight over her head.

"Well..."

"Doctor."

His gaze fell down to hers and his lips immediately spread in a slow smile. Like he simply couldn't help smiling when he looked at her.

"Well, I couldn't take my eyes off you could I?" he said and Rose saw the barest blush creeping up his cheeks at this confession. To him, talking about things like this with her was still a bit of uncharted territory. "Think your mother actually noticed," the Doctor admitted sheepishly. Rose laughed.

"Oh, I bet she did."

"Hey." The Doctor frowned down at her while Rose could do nothing but smile.

"Are you afraid of my mum, Doctor?" Rose asked innocently.

"It's a rational fear," he defended himself. "I still have the imprint of her palm on my face. And she'd have my head on a stick if anything ever happened to you."

"The great lord of time, afraid of my mum," Rose chuckled.

"Any man would be bloody mad to mess with your mother," the Doctor pointed out.

"Very true," Rose agreed. "You know, one time there was this bloke who used to hang around. Couldn't get rid of him so mum she told him if she ever saw him again she'd stuff him in a wheelie bin and laugh as he got tossed in the refuse lorry and crushed." Rose chuckled. "Convinced him she knew the blokes who drove it and no one would ever know."

Rose laughed as the Doctor stared down at her with utter horror.

"Yeah, that sounds like your mother," he said.

"You're right," Rose admitted. "You should probably be very afraid. I hear not even Time Lords can survive being crushed to death by refuse trucks."

"Yes," the Doctor agreed. "That is our key weakness." They both laughed.

"So what else was going through that big head of yours?" Rose asked. "Besides fear of one Jackie Tyler?"

"Well." He thought about it for a moment. "Grateful," he finally said. "I felt very grateful."

"For what?"

"For you," he said, his gaze dropping down to hers, turning very soft, the brown of his eyes melting into something incredibly warm and tender "For letting me into your life. For letting me be a part of your... family. Even if just for a day. You made me feel like I'd somehow found my way home. You're the only one who's ever really done that."

The Doctor took her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing the tips of her fingers. He smiled dreamily. He raised his gaze and his eyes caught hers. Rose immediately recognised the impulse swirling within them and she quickly pulled back, her hand slipping out of his. She took a fumbling step away, placing her hands in her pockets to stop them reaching for him. It wasn't that she didn't want to be close to him. In that moment she wanted it more than anything in the entire universe. It was just that when they finally were she wanted it be as new for him as it had been for her.

"Rose...?" he began and she could her a touch of hurt in his voice.

"I just..." Rose stuttered. A soft smile came to her lips as she looked up at him. "All that will happen," she promised, hoping he'd understand. "It will, and it will be amazing. Really, really amazing. Trust me." After a moment he nodded, not asking her for any more than she could give.

Rose began pulling her hands out of her pockets when her fingers brushed against something. She took it out and looked at it, having forgotten what she'd but in there. It was the memory unit Lian had given her.

"What's that?"the Doctor asked. Rose turned it over between her fingers.

"It's..." she paused, not quite sure what to say or if she should say it at all. "It's something people were prepared to commit murder over, just to stop you getting it."

The Doctor started in surprise. "Me? Why?"

"I don't know," Rose admitted. "I actually don't have a clue." She handed it over to him. Because what safer way to figure out what it was than letting this version of the Doctor take a look at it when he wouldn't remember it anyway.

The Doctor looked at the small, black object.

"Well, let's have a look then shall we?" He took her hand and pulled her with him through the falling snow and out of the map room. They rushed through the TARDIS, Rose gaze flickering around, drinking it all in. The Doctor let go of her hand as they entered the console room, hurrying over to the monitor. Rose stopped for a moment, looking around at the wonderful room. This was how it looked the first time she'd seen it. When the Doctor had first swept her away. She ran her hand along the padding hastily taped to a section of the railing. Very good for avoiding bruises when you were tossed about. Rose walked around the console, her eyes catching on the mad things making it up. The bell, the wheel, all the crazy buttons and levers that it had taken her some time to learn how to manoeuvre. The time rotor at it's centre gave off a soft greenish glow and the whole room felt warm and welcoming.

She sat down on the old, beat up jump-seat, running her hand along the fabric, poking her finger into one of the holes, smiling to herself.

"It's some kind of coded signal," the Doctor muttered. "At least I think it is." Rose looked over at him. He was in his regular pinstriped suit, sans coat with his spectacles perched on his nose. His hair stood on end and he was squinting at the screen in front of him. His fingers tapped away at the keys as Rose jumped off the seat and joined him.

"This is very complex," he said. "Like high level complex. Time Lord level complex."

"Time Lord?" Rose asked in surprise.

"Well would you look at that." The Doctor took a step back. Rose looked at the screen. Circular Gallifreyan flashed by. Too fast and too complicated for Rose to catch any of it.

"That's what's on the drive?" Rose pointed at the screen. The Doctor nodded. "Gallifreyan?"

"Yup." He pressed a couple of keys and the circular shapes split up into several new ones. He pressed another key and they split again.

"What is that?" Rose asked.

"Code," the Doctor said. He returned to the keypad, his slim fingers running rapidly over the keys while the circular shapes flashed endlessly across the screen.

"Can you crack it?" Rose asked. The Doctor shook his head.

"I could but it would take hours, months, years, decades even. But!" He held up one finger as his other hand continued tapping away. "I can determine its place of origin," he explained. "No problem."

"That's good."

"I just need to reset the..." The Doctor reached past Rose and turned a couple of dials. "...the spacial differentiators." He returned to tapping away at the keyboard, glancing up at the screen in front of him every now and then. "And the nav-sat." He left the keyboard and hurried away, fiddling with something on the other side. But he was quickly back again. He punched in the last key with a theatrical flourish and a characteristic, ha! and then turned a grinning face on her.

"What did you do?" Rose asked as she smiled back at him.

"I realigned the preset structural navigation algorithms to fit the new spacial parameters," he informed her.

"And what does that mean exactly?" Rose asked, pretty sure she knew the answer he would give.

"That I'm brilliant," he told her. Rose laughed. She'd been right.

"So what exactly are these algorithmie things or what not telling you then, oh brilliant one?"

"It's given me a location," the Doctor said. He pointed to the screen. "Location of origin to whatever that signal is." Rose came over to his side, looking at the screen. It was showing her an unassuming looking planet.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"No idea," the Doctor told her easily. "It's a bit of a way away." He returned to pressing keys, the picture changing to show her the distance from where they were now to the new planet.

"But if you don't know what it is, why is it so important you don't go there?" Rose asked.

"I dunno," the Doctor said. "The TARDIS is searching its databases to see if there is any record of this thing but so far nothing." The Doctor suddenly kicked the console. "Don't argue with me," he said and Rose snickered. If she hadn't still worn the bracelet she might have gotten a feel for what the TARDIS was up to but now she sadly felt nothing. "Ok." The Doctor ran his hand softly over the console. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it."

"Is she cross with you?" Rose asked. The Doctor glanced over at Rose.

"She doesn't want to tell me," he said. "I don't get it."

"She knows what the planet is?"

"Yeah naturally, she's just being stubborn for some reason." The Doctor ran his long, slim fingers insistently over the keys. "Ha!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"So what is it?" Rose asked right next to him. The Doctor stared at the screen for a good long while without saying anything at all. "Doctor?"

"Gallifrey," he finally managed to get out.

"What?"

"It's Gallifrey."

Rose looked again at the blue planet on the screen.

"Doctor..." she said carefully. "I've seen Gallifrey. That does not look like Gallifrey."

"Of course it's not Gallifrey," he said, pushing himself away from the console. He ran his hands repeatedly through his hair until he'd made an outright mess of it. "It doesn't make sense," he said, still staring at the screen. "It doesn't make sense." Rose reached over and plucked the small memory stick out of the console where the Doctor had plugged it in. "Hey!" he called out in surprise. "What are you doing?" Rose put the drive away in her pocket.

"You know I can't let you keep it," she said. The Doctor said nothing, undoubtedly knowing she was right.

"Are you going to show it to him?" he asked after a moment of silence. Rose avoided his gaze.

"I dunno," she said. She sighed. "But how can I not? If that is Gallifrey. If that is somehow your home how can I justify keeping it from you?" Rose's eyes caught on the Doctor's. "You already hate me. If I keep this from you I..-"

"Hey, shhh." The Doctor moved over to her, quickly running his hands up and down her arms in comfort. "I could never hate you," he said reassuringly.

"Wait and see," Rose said.

"Look..." The Doctor captured her gaze. "I don't know what will happen between us and quite frankly seeing you like this scares the living crap out of me, but..." He tugged her an inch closer. "I'm never going to hate you. Whatever is going on I'm probably just... afraid. Afraid of loosing you or afraid I already have." His hands came up to cup her face. "I can never begin to explain how much you have meant to me," he said, brushing his thumbs lightly across her cheekbones as he spoke. "You saved my life, Rose Tyler. A hundred times over simply by being you." He gave her a half smile. "And if there is one thing, just one thing in this whole universe that I believe in, it's you. I know whatever you chose will be the right thing to do."

Rose tried really hard not to let the tears fall as she stood there looking up into his familiar brown eyes while he told her he had so much faith in her. So much trust that he would let her make this decision all on her own. To either tell him about possibly having found Gallifrey or not. She had no idea which to chose but that he trusted her to make the right choice meant everything.

Rose threw her arms around his neck, mumbling something incoherent into his shoulder. It did not take long for him to hug her back. After all, these were stolen moments. And stolen moments never lasted very long so one could never afford to waste them. He chuckled into her hair.

"We do still do this, right?" he asked with a smile. Rose didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Because the answer was no. No they didn't. She couldn't remember the last time he'd held her like this. Just because they'd wanted to, because they could, because everything was so much better when they were together. "Even if we don't," the Doctor said, his voice still muffled by her hair. "It doesn't mean I don't still need it."

Rose tightened her hold on him saying nothing, just treasuring this one sliver of time. Until finally she realised she was going to have to let go. She let go, drawing back but he didn't. He held on.

"Doctor?"she said regretfully to catch his attention. He drew back enough so he could look her in the eye but he didn't let go right away. His gaze ran over the planes of her face, drinking in every freckle, every curve until his hold slowly eased and he let her go. "I should go," she said. He nodded, his gaze dropping from hers as he removed the spectacles.

"Yup."

"I have to..." Rose tried to say but her voice came out fractured.

"I know," he said, shuffling some imaginary pebble with his shoe. Rose placed her hand on his shoulder, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'll always be yours, Doctor," she vowed on a whisper. "Please, remember that." He smiled at her words. And she left him. Left those wonderful, stolen moments behind. But she paused at the door, looking back because how could she not.

The Doctor stood, leaning his hip against the console, his arms across his chest and one sneakered foot crossed over the other, smiling at her.

"See you soon, Rose Tyler," he said. Rose fought for a second but her lips quickly spread in a slow wide smile despite her best efforts.

"Not if I see you first," she said and disappeared out the door.

She was still grinning as she stepped out, letting the door fall shut behind her. Even though she was leaving this behind it felt as though it had brought her enough joy to last her a lifetime. And now it was time for her to go back. Back to the hell she'd left behind.

"Did you find what you were looking for, young lady?"

Rose turned to find the old man standing in front of the painting of Arcadia, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Yes," Rose said. "I think I did." He looked back at her over his shoulder.

"Good," he said, smiling.

Rose smiled back. "Merry Christmas."

The man chuckled. "Everyday can be Christmas," he said. "Merry Christmas." And he inclined his head kindly towards her. Rose thought that she must have met him somewhere before. A younger him perhaps or something. Sometimes being a time traveller could be ever so tricky.

Rose quickly reversed the coordinates on the vortex manipulator. Her fingers ran smoothly over the small buttons in practiced motions. She'd done so many jumps over the years. And they were jumps. You travelled in the TARDIS but with a vortex manipulator you jumped.

Rose glanced past the elderly gentleman to the big three dimensional oil panting of Arcadia as it fell. Or didn't fall. Perhaps the Doctor could get all that back. Those sparkling cities and that burnt orange sky. She could never rob him of that chance. She knew in her heart she couldn't. No matter the cost.

Her gaze returned to the gentleman who was still watching her. She gave him a smile and a wink before she vanished, the vortex manipulator yanking her away.

The heat seemed to hit her before her feet touched ground. Thankfully she'd landed right next to the TARDIS. She clutched it as the ground shifted beneath her. She looked up at the beautiful old ship. He was still here then. Rose realised a part of her had feared he wouldn't be. She held on to the TARDIS as she made her way around it to the front door. She moved to get her key when she noticed the door was slightly ajar. That couldn't be good. The Doctor never forgot to close the door.

Rose held her breath as she pushed it opened. Inside was nice and cool compared to the heat outside.

"Hello," she called into the console room. There was no reply. She pulled the door tightly shut before she took a few tremulous steps inside. It looked the same as when she'd left it. Cool metal, cold white light overhead, the console, more efficiently constructed, sleeker in design. "Doctor?" Rose twirled around, her gaze running over all the dark corners. But he wasn't here. Not in the room. She walked up to the console, putting her hand against the time rotor.

"Where is he, old girl?" Rose asked softly. There was a soft, sad hum from the ship but with the bracelet on Rose had no idea what it might mean. She let her hand fall, walking past the console, her shoes making tip-tap sounds as she hurried up the stairs. "Doctor?"she called again as she made her way deeper inside the TARDIS.

She walked down hallways that were new to her again. She had never even gotten the chance to get used to how it had changed the last time and now it was different again as though neither the TARDIS nor the Doctor could quite settle in comfortably. The walls now where bare and grey, the lighting cool, giving the place a gloomy feel. She wondered briefly if the new decor reflected the Doctor's mood more or the TARDIS's own. Perhaps a bit of both.

When Rose had lived on the ship the hallways had looked a bit haphazard. Everything about that version was a bit careless and disorderly but it had felt real. It had felt like home. She had felt safe there. Always. Now the cool metal and stripped down interior made her feel cold and uncertain of her welcome. And perhaps she should be. Perhaps the reason she felt that way was because she wasn't entirely welcome anymore.

Suddenly the light in the hallway vanished, plummeting her into complete darkness. Rose froze before a light lit up at an intersection further down. Rose carefully made her way over to it. It was lighting up a hallway to the left. The minute Rose stepped down it the light vanished and another replaced it further away.

"You're leading me to him, are you?" Rose asked the ship but of course she got no response that she could discern.

Rose carefully made her way through the halls of the TARDIS, the ship guiding her with lights. She went deeper and deeper, until Rose was sure she was in parts of the ship she'd never visited before. She finally ended up in hallway with a dead end, several doors along the way. Then Rose saw one with her name on it. Just scribbled hastily at eye level. She felt her heart pounding as she walked over to it. The doorknob was cold to the touch as she turned it, pushing the door opened. It was her room. Her old room.

Rose took a few careful steps inside. There were no lights on, the only illumination coming from the hallway outside. It looked exactly as she'd left it except the bed was neatly made. For some inexplicable reason Rose never made the bed. It was always a mess. She walked over to the foot of it, standing in the pale stream of light from the doorway.

"Thought you left."

At the sound of his voice, Rose twirled around. She gasped in surprise as she saw the Doctor sitting just right of the doorway, leaning against the wall, his knees drawn up and his face mostly hidden by a string of dark hair. She hadn't seen him when she came in. She swallowed hard.

"Came back," she said. He didn't nod in acknowledgement, didn't say anything. He just sat there. "This is my room," Rose remarked.

"How astute."

"Thought you would have burned it or chugged it out into space or something." Rose watched him wearily as he fiddled with his nails before answering.

"Thought about it," he said.

"What stopped you?"

He took a deep, tired breath. "Couldn't bring myself to destroy anything that had a part of you in it."

There was a moment of silence again as Rose looked around, thinking to see maybe just one broken item. Just one burned sweater or something. But there was nothing. Everything seemed intact.

"The bed's made," she pointed out as her gaze ran over the covers.

"I see we're pointing out things that are obvious today." The Doctor wasn't looking at her, his gaze on his hands, his forearms resting on his knees.

"I never make the bed," Rose clarified.

"No, you don't," the Doctor agreed.

"You slept in it," Rose realised.

"Yes," he answered simply "For the first few months. Until Amy made me stop."

Rose thought about asking him why Amy had made him stop but found she didn't think she had the heart to hear the answer.

"So where are we anyway?" Rose asked instead. "I don't think I've ever been in this part of the TARDIS."

"It's where she puts the things I tell her I never wanna see again," the Doctor explained. "She hides them away down here so that I might be allowed to forget."

"And did you?" Rose watched him where he sat. He looked so unbelievably tired.

"Forget you?" He massaged his temples with one hand. "No," he admitted. "There is no forgetting you, Rose. You're carved into my hearts I'm afraid. Brutally, painfully... eternally."

Rose walked slowly over, stopping for a moment before she hunkered down in front of him. Even though she was right before his eyes he refused to look at her for even a second. So Rose shuffled around, placing herself next to him. She took his hand and raised his arm up, placing it around her shoulders as she snuggled close to him.

"What are you doing?"the Doctor asked, looking at her with a bewildered expression. Rose wrapped her arm around his middle.

"Shut up, Doctor," she said, leaning her head against his chest and closing her eyes. "Just, shut up."

His arm tightened around her and he did exactly as she asked. He shut up.


	62. Chapter 62 - Not losing hope

Chapter 62 - Not losing hope

Rose felt the Doctor's chest rise and fall slowly beneath her head as he drew in a deep breath.

"Why did you come back?" he finally asked, his tone not much louder than a whisper. "I thought you wouldn't be coming back."

"You mean after the things you said?" Rose stayed where she was, afraid to raise her head and look at him. Afraid she'd see a truth she couldn't bear.

"I shouldn't have said what I said," the Doctor admitted. "That I didn't love you. I'm sorry." He was silent for a moment. "I just thought it would help. Make it easier for you I..." She heard the dull thud of his head against the wall as he leaned it back. "I don't know. I can't do this... I just don't... It's tearing me apart. I..." Rose hastily sat up, looking at him.

"Hey," she said softly. He had his hand over his eyes. Rose reached for it, twining her fingers with his as she removed it from his face. "It's okay," she said, doing practically the same thing as the tenth version of him had done for her but a moment ago.

"How is this okay?" the Doctor asked without looking at her. "How is any of this okay?"

"Because we're together," Rose told him with conviction. But he shook his head.

"We're not together," he said. "We're miles apart." He took a shuddering breath. "And if we do get close... I... It feels like I'm damning myself just by touching you."

It took a long moment for Rose to gather the strength to say anything to that.

"You're not damning yourself," she said quietly.

"It feels like it," the Doctor said, his voice trembling. "I know what I did was wrong. Tying you back to me. I knew it even as I did it and I went ahead and did it anyway."

"Doctor, you were scared and alone." Rose patted his chest with her free hand for emphasis. "It wasn't all your fault. I could have stopped it. I didn't." The Doctor turned his head and looked at Rose.

"No," he said. "You didn't. You sacrificed your freedom, your life, why?" Now it was Rose's gaze that dropped from his.

"I guess it's what you do for the people you love," Rose said quietly, her eyes on their interlocked fingers.

"Rose..." He paused for a second. "I told you not to say that again. I meant it." There was almost kindness in the way he said it which for some reason seemed to hurt more. Rose shuddered a little.

"Well," she said, drawing on the conviction she'd felt after leaving the tenth version of him. "I'll keep saying it anyway." She tilted her head a little to the side as she stroked her thumb across his. "Maybe one day you'll believe it again."

Rose moved to rise. But the Doctor's hand tightened around hers and she let him pull her back. She wasn't sure if it had been a conscious thought on his part or simply instinct and since she didn't have the guts to face him she wasn't likely to find out.

Neither of them said anything for a while. Just sat there on the floor, holding each other's hands. Rose unwound their fingers only to lace them back together again, watching as she caressed his fingers slowly with her own. It was still strange not to feel that spark. That little rush of electricity under her skin. Strange in her rational mind but in her heart it was terrifying. Her heart was telling her something was horribly wrong. It was telling her she was missing something so important her heart might not be able to continue beating without it. That feeling was the one that had the power to drive you mad. It is what had driven Omega mad when he'd lost Patience.

The only reason Rose had been able to wear the bracelet for so long was because the Doctor's regeneration had put a kink in the bond. Just a small one. But big enough that it needed to be retied to work as it once had. And now it was. Their souls were entwined once more, their minds linked, their very hearts beating in a synchronised rhythm. Which meant she wouldn't be able to stand wearing the bracelet for long. Not for long at all.

"I have something for you." Rose finally forced herself to break the silence, pulling her hand out of his and reaching inside her pocket. She withdrew the small memory unit and put it in his hand.

"What's this?" he asked, turning it over. Rose took a steadying breath. She knew she had to tell him, had already decided it was her only course of action. Gallifrey was his home. She had no right keeping any information about it from him. But the lengths people had gone to, to stop him still scared her. Madam Kovarian had travelled back in time and taken an innocent baby, turning her into the perfect psychopath just to kill the Doctor. Elsa Conn had destroyed the entire Shadow Proclamation and who knew what else and James had murdered the closest thing to a mother he'd ever known. All to stop the Doctor from getting exactly what Rose was now giving him.

"It's a coded signal," Rose explained. "It's emanating from a planet..."

"What planet?" he asked. Rose said nothing, only stared at the memory stick as he twirled it between his fingers. The Doctor tore his eyes off it and looked to Rose. "Rose, what planet?" Rose slowly raised her gaze to his.

"I don't know how," she said. "And it doesn't make sense..."

"What planet?" the Doctor repeated more forcefully. Rose stared into his light eyes and leaped.

"Gallifrey."

At first the Doctor sat absolutely still, staring at her but not really seeing her. Then he suddenly shot to his feet.

"Gallifrey?!" he barked out. "Rose, it can't be Gallifrey. We might have saved it but it's gone. Gallifrey's lost."

"I know that."

"Then who told you this?" he asked rapidly. "How did you get it?" He shook the memory unit in her face.

"I..."

"How!?" he demanded as he towered over her where she still sat on the floor.

"Lian gave it to me."

"Lian told you this was the location of Gallifrey?"

"No," Rose admitted reluctantly.

"Then how do you know?"

Rose got to her feet, brushing dust off her jeans.

"Someone else found out."

"Who?" the Doctor demanded to know. "Who told you this was Gallifrey, Rose? Where did you go?" Rose's gaze flickered up to his. His light eyes were dancing with fire. More than she'd seen in a long time. It was the promise of a purpose. Something to do. Something to distract him from everything else. "Tell me."

"The TARDIS," Rose finally admitted. The Doctor straightened in surprise.

"The TARDIS? When did you...?" He trailed off and she saw realisation dawning on his face. Realisation or a flicker of memory, she didn't know. "You went back to him, didn't you?"

"I went back to you," Rose told him with finality. The Doctor took a step back, shaking his head, a mocking smile twisting his lips.

"I guess you deserve even more credit for coming here," he said with dark amusement. "I'm surprised he let you go."

"He...- You didn't let me do anything," Rose said sharply. "It wasn't your choice to make it was mine."

"And you chose this?" The Doctor held out his arms to indicate their dark and dusty surroundings. "He would have taken you away," he told her. "He would have taken your hand and told you to run, the consequences be damned." The Doctor's eyes fell to Rose's and she hated that mocking pain that swirled within them. "All you had to do was ask."

After a moment Rose stomped over and snatched the memory unit out of the Doctor's hand. She turned on her heal without a word and walked out of the room. It didn't take the Doctor long to follow.

"I'd appreciate if you could return my room to somewhere a bit easier to find," Rose threw back over her shoulder. There was no reply but she knew he'd heard her. Rose was so upset she didn't notice how lost she got until she stopped and realised she recognised nothing. She turned around to find the Doctor standing and leaning against the wall, his arms across his chest and his shoulders hunched forwards.

"Am I lost?" Rose asked him with annoyance. He shook his hair out of his eyes and looked over at her.

"That..." He pointed at a door behind her. "... is the Architectural Reconfiguration System." Rose turned to look at the door. It had a small round window at eye-height. "It's located in the deeper parts of the TARDIS, so yes, I'd say you're very lost."

Rose got up on her toes and glanced in through the window. Inside the room she thought she saw a giant tree at first. But she quickly realised it was mechanical in nature. Wires hung down from its metal branches with big glowing orbs at the ends. The trunk was massive, far too big to reach around. It was beautiful. Reconfiguration system, Rose thought. Something with reconfiguring matter then no doubt. Which meant it was part of the TARDIS core circuitry. She turned away, striding past the Doctor, fighting the urge to ask more about it.

The halls went on endlessly, Rose turning down one she thought might take her in the right direction only to find herself going the opposite way from what she wanted. She stopped, growling in frustration. She raised her eyes to the ceiling overhead.

"What are you doing?" she ground out. With the bracelet still on her wrist, even if there might be a reply of some sort Rose couldn't get a sense of it.

"Perhaps you should try asking nicely," the Doctor suggested causing Rose to shoot a glare at him back over her shoulder. She turned, taking another hallway. She was getting increasingly worried the ship was keeping them away from the console room to stop the Doctor from going to what the TARDIS had said was somehow Gallifrey. The ship had tried to stop the tenth version of him from learning it at first after all. But why? Why wouldn't she want to go there?

Rose was about to turn right at an intersection when the Doctor got a hold of her hand, pulling her back around.

"This way," he said, yanking her with him. They made their way through the winding halls and before long they found themselves at the top of the stairs in the console room. The Doctor let go of Rose's hand and walked down to the floor. He stopped and held out his hand towards her. "You want to give that back now?" he asked. Rose walked down the steps. She hesitated on the last one. "Rose?" He shifted his eyes to hers, a question within them and Rose handed the memory drive over.

"Just be careful," she told him. "Think before you rush off." The Doctor's fingers closed around the drive.

"I always think before I rush off," he said, rushing off. Rose rolled her eyes and the Doctor hastily plugged the drive into the console. He grabbed the monitor, pulling it over.

"Will take centuries to break the code," Rose said, stepping down while the Doctor's fingers were tapping away at the keyboard.

"Done." The Doctor straightened, looking at the monitor. Rose hurried over.

"What?" she asked in surprise. "You said - past you I mean - said it would take years."

"Well, perhaps I'm just a bit more impressive now." The Doctor straightened his bowtie as Rose looked at the screen. The Gallifreyan symbols were breaking up, dividing, rearranging.

"Or you're just sneaky and set the TARDIS to break it when I showed it to you before," Rose pointed out. The Doctor narrowed his eyes on her.

"How do you know that?" he asked. Rose pointed at the screen.

"Runtime," she said, pointing to the bottom right hand corner where there were symbols she quite easily recognised, telling her for how long the calculations had been running. And it was not a mere couple of minutes.

"Should never have taught you how to read Gallifreyan," he muttered as he returned his attention to the screen.

"Why?" Rose asked. "Because it's harder for you to show off?"

"Yes," he said without preamble. And even though she couldn't see his face she somehow knew he was smiling.

Rose was standing just behind the Doctor as they both watched the screen. As the message emerged Rose narrowed her eyes at it. It was still in circular Gallifreyan and she still was no expert at reading it but what she saw didn't quite seem to make sense.

"I don't understand," Rose said, shifting her eyes to the Doctor and saw that his shoulders had tensed up. It might not make sense to her but she would bet her last penny it did to him. "Doctor?" she asked but he didn't answer. So she stepped up next to him, pointing at the screen.

"This is your name, yeah?" She pointed at a particular series of circles and lines. "But this here..." she pointed at a another section. "Says it's not? Or..."

"It's a question," the Doctor explained with some regret. "It's the first question. The one that must never be answered."

"Silence will fall when the question is asked? That question?"

The Doctor glanced up at Rose. "I told you, I was trying to stop the Silence from killing you," she answered at his questioning look. The crease between his brows disappeared and for a moment he simply stared at her. Then he quickly turned away.

"Did you ever find out what the question was?"

But Rose shook her head. "No."

"The question is for me," he said, straightening and turning fully towards her.

"Then what is it?" Rose asked. The Doctor shifted a little, turning the screen so she could see it.

"Can't you read it?" he asked. "The question is in the answer and vice versa."

Rose looked back at the screen. She could distinguish his name. The one he'd chosen. The Doctor. But that was not what it was asking for. It wasn't asking for the Doctor. That wasn't the name it wanted, Rose realised. It was incredibly complicated at the same time as it was unbelievably simple.

"Doctor who?" Rose said. "That's the question. Essentially. Doctor who. Your name is both the question and the answer"

"Yes."

"And that's bad, yeah?" she asked, not entirely sure exactly how it was bad. The Doctor shook his shoulders.

"It is the reason a whole order was formed with the single purpose of killing me," he said. "It is the question that must never be answered but why it mustn't I don't know."

"I know the answer," Rose pointed out.

"Very few people do."

"And River," Rose remembered, feeling that slight sting of jealousy she couldn't fight no matter how hard she tried.

"It's a rather short list." The Doctor turned back to the monitor, tapping away at the keys again. "You said, the TARDIS gave Gallifrey as the signals origin?" he asked without stopping. Rose nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then let's go and check it out," the Doctor said, leaving the monitor with that pale blue planet that couldn't possibly be Gallifrey displayed on it. He scurried around the console, the ship humming to life as he sent them off, hurtling through the time vortex.

Rose followed after him. "Are you sure about this?" she asked. The Doctor floundered about, pulling levers and steering the ship. "Even the TARDIS didn't want you going there."

"Doesn't hurt to check it out," he said. "We don't have to set foot on the planet if there is something fishy going on." Rose continued following him around the console.

"Fishy? Doctor, almost everyone in the entire bloody galaxy has been trying to stop you going. The Silence, the Church, James."

"Yes, James. Truly value his opinion," the Doctor said with obvious sarcasm.

"James was a good man," Rose pointed out. "Who did a terrible thing. That alone should tell you that this might not be a good idea."

The Doctor halted and turned to her. "What would you have me do then, Rose?" he asked honestly. "Not go?"

"No," Rose said. "I just, for once want you to actually think before you throw yourself into something potentially catastrophic."

"I always have a plan." He reached up and brushed a finger quickly along her jawline before turning and heading off around the console again. The touch was so unexpected it stumped Rose for a moment. Like just for that one second they'd both forgotten and had been back to what they once were.

"You almost never have a plan," Rose pointed out to him. "You're the king of simply winging it."

The Doctor's head popped up from behind the time rotor.

"True," he admitted. "But I do it rather well, I think." He vanished again, reaching over and pulling a lever slightly out of reach. The ship slowed to a stop and the Doctor returned to the monitor. Rose quickly joined him. "Oh."

"Oh, what?" Rose asked. She really didn't like the sound of that 'oh'.

"Up!" he practically shouted at her. "Shields. Everything up!"

Rose scurried away around the console, doing as he asked, the near panic in his voice making her hurry.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Everyone's here," the Doctor said in a rush. "Everyone. Dalek, Cybermen, Slitheen." Rose came back to his side. She looked at the monitor, seeing all those ships around that unassuming blue planet that couldn't possibly be Gallifrey.

"Why? What are they all doing here?"

"I don't know," the Doctor told her sharply.

"Are they invading or...?"

"No, they're just... sort of... parked."

"Parked?"

"Yes, parked." He pointed at the screen.

"But why?"

Rose spun around as she noticed the Doctor had left, walking away towards the doors. He pulled them both opened and Rose joined him. Right in front of them was a huge ship. Square in structure. Suddenly a great big holographic image of woman appeared in front of it. The lines of her face were sharp, lot's of black around eyes that looked as though they missed nothing.

"Perhaps she'd know," the Doctor suggested as the holographic image of the woman raised her hand crooked her finger at them.

"Looks like she's inviting you onboard," Rose remarked.

"Looks like," the Doctor agreed as the image vanished. He closed the doors back up and returned to the console. Rose walked towards him, a bit of care in her step.

"Are we going?" Rose asked.

"Naturally," the Doctor remarked as he steered the TARDIS towards the big ship.

"You know her then?"

"Met her once or twice," the Doctor admitted, focused on the steering and not on Rose.

"Why don't we just go directly down to the planet?"

"It's shielded. Even the TARDIS will have trouble penetrating it without something to lock on to."

"Do you trust her?"

The Doctor paused, glancing up at Rose.

"She is the Mother Superious of the Papal Mainframe."

"Is that a yes or a no?" The Doctor held Rose's gaze for a moment before he answered.

"No," he finally said. "I don't trust her." Rose nodded.

"Because she would have to have sanctioned Else Conn and what she did at the Shadow Proclamation."

"Yes," the Doctor agreed.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Just wanted to make sure you hadn't ignored that bit," Rose explained.

"Right."

The Doctor flew the TARDIS inside the flagship of the Papal Mainframe and Rose couldn't shake that horrible feeling in her gut. The minute Lian had given her that drive Rose hadn't been able to get rid of it. Something told her this was all going to be very, very bad.

"You coming?" the Doctor asked over his shoulder as he stood waiting by the doors. Rose nodded even though he probably couldn't even see it and walked over to his side. Rose took his hand, for the moment not caring if he didn't want her to. But the Doctor squeezed her fingers in turn.

"Would it be terribly cliché if I said, I have a bad feeling about this?" Rose asked.

"Rose Tyler," the Doctor chided. "You used to be so fearless. Whatever happened?"

"I was never fearless just careless," Rose pointed out.

"You were many things, Rose, " the Doctor said. "But no one could ever accuse you of not caring."

He let go of her hand before striding off and she immediately missed it. Her hand would always feel empty without his in it. Rose took a deep, steadying breath trying to quench that bad feeling and strode after the Doctor as he opened the doors and walked out.

They entered a dark hallway. Lighting was sparse, the walls black, the carpet on the floor dark red like coagulated blood. Up ahead were clerics in their camouflage uniforms, and white collars, standing in two neat rows, faces immobile like stone. Rose felt uneasy as they approached them. Just a short while ago men and women in those same uniforms had shot at them. Almost killed them.

The Doctor and Rose walked passed the lines of soldiers towards the woman Rose had seen only as a hologram. She stood up on a dais, tall and slim, her long black dress pooling at her feet. It was a prettier dress than Rose would have expected. Not plain but finely cut and even studded with a bit of sparkle. The woman's long brown hair was tied up, high on her head. Though the roots were brown the ends of her hair were crimson, again making Rose think of blood. She wondered if it was deliberate.

The Doctor gave a hasty bow as they approached. The Mother Superious's sharp eyes fixed on Rose and despite what Rose might want to do she gave a quick curtsy. The woman did not seem impressed but satisfied at least.

"Doctor, always a pleasure," she said with a smile Rose didn't quite care for.

"Rose, this is Tasha Lem," the Doctor introduced her. "...the Mother Superious of the Church of the Papal Mainframe." Rose locked eyes with the woman. Whatever worry Rose felt as to the road ahead, none of that showed. Rose had come face to face with devils and Daleks, ghosts and monsters. It was going to take a bit more to scare her than a piercing glare from a nun.

"Rose Tyler," Tasha Lem said with a bit of a smile. "I've heard a lot about you."

"All bad I hope," Rose replied.

"Decidedly," Tasha confirmed and Rose smiled back. Not nicely or arrogantly, just a ghost of amusement at it all. "We will go to my chapel," she informed the Doctor and Rose. "All honours are in place," she told the rest. "No, sacrifice is required." Tasha Lem swept her black, silk skirt back and walked away. The Doctor and Rose followed, Rose not even wanting to think about what sacrifice might have been required.

The Mother Superious led them through more dark hallways. Rose had to admit it did make her feel a bit like being in an old church. It felt heavy, the weight of guilt and penance in the very walls.

They reached a set of large double doors. Tasha pulled one opened, glancing over her shoulder at Rose.

"I have confidential matters to discuss with the Doctor. Do you mind waiting outside?" she told Rose, her voice cool and levelled.

"Tasha..," the Doctor began warningly. Tasha raised her eyebrows in question as though she couldn't understand why this would be a problem.

"It's alright," Rose said. "Do... whatever you want."

"Rose..."

"Just go," Rose said. "I'll wait out here and you can tell me later."

"Do you understand the concept of confidential?" Tasha asked, frostily.

"Do you understand the concept of a telepathic link?" Rose asked back. Not feeling the need to bring up the fact the link was being blocked at the moment but just wanting to wipe that smug look off the woman's face. Tasha narrowed her eyes at Rose before they shifted to the Doctor.

"So it is true," she told him. "You bonded, betraying laws as old as time."

Rose snorted at this before the Doctor got a chance to say anything.

"You find it amusing?" Tasha asked Rose. "That he would betray what it means to be a Time Lord for you?"

"The laws aren't that old," Rose pointed out. "And he didn't betray anything. You know nothing about it. Not what it means or what it costs, nor could you. Ever."

There was a rather intense moment of silence before the Doctor broke it.

"Yes, well let's just get inside and sort this whole thing out shall we?" he suggested while wringing his hands. Tasha shifted her intense gaze to his. "The planet and the signal," the Doctor clarified. "Not the..." he trailed off as Tasha turned, striding inside. The Doctor caught the door before it swung shut, holding it opened for Rose who gave him a questionable look. He rolled his eyes and made a motion with his arm for her to get in. So Rose walked past him and entered the room while the Doctor followed behind.

"Like I'd ever leave you outside," she heard him mutter behind her. "Two minutes alone and you'd wander off into an even bigger mess."

"That's not me," Rose told him in a hushed tone. "That's you."

"Me?" He pointed at himself with the audacity to look offended. "Need I remind you...-"

"Don't you dare mention the bloody barrage ballon," Rose cut him off warningly.

"I don't have to," he leaned down, telling her. "I have a very extensive list of examples."

"Oh, yeah?" Rose held out her hand. "Give it to me and I'll burn it."

"So," Tasha Lem's voice cut off their bickering. "Why are you here, Doctor?" she asked. The Doctor straightened.

"Same as you I'd imagine," he said.

"The signal?"

"The signal," the Doctor confirmed.

"What is it?" Tasha Lem asked, walking over to a table and pouring blue liquid into a crystal glass. The whole room was decorated in dark reds, and golds. Decadent and a bit over the top in Rose's opinion.

"Don't you know?" the Doctor asked. Tasha turned with the glass in her hand.

"We know who it's for," she admitted. "We don't know what it means."

"I think you know more than you'd like to tell us," Rose cut in.

"And why is that?" Tasha asked, watching Rose with shrewd eyes as she took a sip of the drink.

"Or you wouldn't have sent people to kill him."

"I didn't send anyone," Tasha refuted. "The Silence was a section that broke off on its own. I had nothing to do with it."

"I'm not talking about the Silence," Rose said. Tasha watched her without saying a word.

"Elsa Conn," Rose said. "The Shadow Proclamation. What your Church did there was despicable."

"I actually have to agree with that," the Doctor added. "Didn't seem like you, Tash."

"That's because it wasn't."

As if on cue, the doors suddenly burst opened behind them. Both the Doctor and Rose twirled around. Two clerics dressed all in black instead of camouflage strode inside. They still had the white collars which made them look more like priests than ever. After them came a woman dressed much like Tasha was except her dress was red. A deep crimson red. Her hair was cut at the chin and jet black. Her back was ramrod straight, almost like there was something keeping it that way because her fingers were crocked and bent by age, her skin marred by scars. Her face however was strangely unlined, only her eyes seemed to have sunk a bit into her skull, dark circles beneath them. She smiled as she saw them. The kind of smile you gave old friends you've not seen for a long time.

"Hello Agent Tyler," she said. "Doctor." Rose's hands clenched into fists while the Doctor's lips tightened into a thin line.

"Annabelle Conn," Rose ground out.

"The one and only," Annabelle confirmed.

Just for a moment both the Doctor and Rose stared, at first finding it hard to face the fact that Annabelle bloody Conn was not just standing in front of them again but she was also obviously holding some position of power. And that could never be a good thing. But they shouldn't have been surprised. Not really. If Elsa Conn was working for the Papal Mainframe then of course so was Annabelle. She'd simply moved up from Madam Kovarian and the Silence.

Tasha Lem inclined her head towards Annabelle. "Mother Superious." The Doctor and Rose's gaze shot between the two of them. Annabelle hadn't just moved up she'd clawed her way to the bloody top.

"You got be kidding," Rose said.

"You lied," the Doctor accused Tasha.

"I didn't lie," she said. "I simply did not correct you." The Doctor turned his eyes on Annabelle.

"Why aren't you dead yet?" he asked and Annabelle only smiled. The Doctor's gaze ran over her with disgust. "Seen better days though I bet," he mocked and the smile slipped from Annabelle's face.

"I'm alive," she said.

"Always your guiding star isn't it? Staying alive. At any cost."

"I'm assuming you mean Elsa," Annabelle said. "I understand you met her."

"Of course. You were the one who sent her to the Shadow Proclamation," the Doctor realised. "Not Tasha."

"Correct."

"H… how do you manage to always show up when we least of all want you?" Rose asked Annabelle.

"Not that there actually is a time we do want you," the Doctor was quick to add.

"Careful," Annabelle warned. She took a few steps forwards, her gait not quite smooth. "How is that working out for you by the way?"she asked, nodding towards Rose's wrist. Rose immediately pulled her sleeve down. Annabelle smiled knowingly, giving the Doctor a quick glance. "He doesn't like it, does he?"

Rose ground her teeth together and the Doctor was looking at Annabelle Conn as though he was imagining a thousands ways to murder her.

"Do we even want to know how you're the Mother Superious?" Rose asked Annabelle, hoping to distract her from inquiring further. Annabelle had always seemed so strangely fascinated by Rose and the Doctor and the bond that tied them together. Her curious eyes shifted to Rose's.

"You'll have to thank your dear Doctor for that," Annabelle informed her.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"With Davros dead..." Annabelle turned a gleeful smile on the Doctor. "...no one knows how to fight a Time Lord better than I."

"Fight him? He hasn't done anything," Rose insisted.

"It isn't what he has done, Agent Tyler," Annabelle said with a hint of annoyance. "It is what he will do. I told you this before. We are trying to save the universe from him."

"Bullshit."

Annabelle's smile widened. "I helped you didn't I?"

"You have a very strange idea of what help is," the Doctor muttered. Annabelle turned on him.

"Oh really? Well you didn't see the state she was in, your precious Rose," Annabelle informed the Doctor. "Trust me, I did help." Rose could feel the Doctor's eyes on her but she didn't face him. Annabelle was right. She had helped. Whatever her dark and nefarious reasons for doing so she had helped.

"So what now then?" the Doctor asked, clasping his hands together. "You shoot us? Kill us? Throw us in a dungeon? I would personally recommend the dungeon. If you have one. Love a good dungeon me."

"No, I'm just going to offer you both a deal. A very simple deal," Annabelle explained.

"And what would that be?" the Doctor asked.

"Leave," Annabelle said simply. "Take your Rose and leave. Live out your days wherever you want as long as you never return here. You can be happy. The two of you." Annabelle, stepped back, holding her hands, palms up in offering. "Take that girl you love so much, Doctor and run."

"And if I don't?"

A smile cleaved Annabelle's face. "Then the might of the Papal Mainframe will stop you," she told him "And we'll start by shooting her." The two clerics raised their weapons. But they didn't aim them at Rose they aimed at Tasha Lem. Tasha's eyes flew to the Doctor's. Save me, they said. Save me. And the Doctor, brave and foolish as he was tried to. But he wasn't fast enough. Not this time.

The clerics fired. The glass in Tasha's hands shattered. She stared for a moment at the broken pieces before she fell to the floor in pool of black satin.

"No!"the Doctor screamed. "No!" He twirled around, not knowing where to direct his anger or even what to do with it. He rushed at Annabelle, somehow managing to stop himself inches from her. Fury was in every movement, fighting to be released from his control. "You didn't have to kill her!"

"I just wanted to make sure there were no doubts about who runs this organisation," Annabelle told him calmly. Rose moved over to Tasha, hunkering down next to her, checking for a pulse. There was none. She was dead. "The next time it will be Rose," Annabelle said. The Doctor was livid, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

"If you ever touch her..." His voice was darkness and barely contained violence that Rose wasn't used to hearing.

"I am giving you a chance," Annabelle said with a tone of voice that suggested she actually thought she was doing something decent. Not at all as though she'd just ordered the murder of an innocent woman. "Take Rose and run. It doesn't have to end here." There was a horrible kind of honesty in Annabelle's eyes, like she couldn't understand how the Doctor couldn't see she was being kind.

Rose got to her feet. She crossed the room, clasping the Doctor's hand tightly in her own. He didn't tear his eyes from Annabelle. The only indication he knew Rose was there was his fingers tightening around hers.

"Doctor..." she said softly.

"Tell him, Agent Tyler," Annabelle interrupted. "If you tell him to go he will. You know he will." Rose gave Annabelle a glare.

"Rose...?" There was the slightest tremble to the Doctor's voice that Rose would bet no one heard but her.

"No," Rose said with finality.

"They'll kill you," the Doctor ground out. "There are quite literally guns aimed at your head."

Rose looked to the clerics. He was right. Their guns were aimed straight at her.

"So we just run away?" Rose asked him. The Doctor glanced at her.

"We've got a time machine. We could run forever and still be back for tea. There is still so much..."

But Rose shook her head. "No, we've landed. We're part of events. You taught me that," Rose pointed out and the Doctor squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

"Just for once in your life Rose Tyler why can't you just run away?"

"Because that is not what we do," she reminded him. "That's not who we are." She brushed her thumb lightly across his. "We might run, Doctor but we do not run away. Not ever."

The Doctor opened his eyes and looked at her. Pride and admiration shone out of them. Whatever else he felt about her at this point he could still be proud of her, Rose realised. Could still admire her for being brave even though he must know she was afraid. He might want to run away with her and never look back but his conscience would torture him forever if he did. Because the Doctor was a good man and maybe, just maybe his people were somehow down on that planet. How could he ever leave them?

"I'm afraid I must have your answer," Annabelle said. The Doctor kept his hold on Rose's hand as he turned, his jaw clenching as he looked at the creature that was the cause of so much pain.

"Counter offer," the Doctor said. Annabelle didn't look surprised at this or disappointed, merely curious. Perhaps even intrigued. "Let us go down." Annabelle smiled as though she simply couldn't wait for him to try and convince her why this would be a good idea. "The Daleks or the Cybermen, they can penetrate your shield, but they're waiting. Why?"

"Well they're afraid," Annabelle said. "Everyone is. No one dares to go first."

The Doctor grinned. "I'll go first," he said.

"Doctor, I've spent considerable time and resources to stop you getting this far why would I ever let you go down there?" Annabelle asked.

"Because despite your claim of saving the universe you, Annabelle Conn are a creature of curiosity. You like to know things, understand them. And I bet you are really curious to find out what's actually down there. Curious enough to let me have peak."

Annabelle regarded him as she considered this until a smile cleaved her face. Whatever Annabelle would have them believe about her noble intentions there was touch of dark glee in that smile that she couldn't hide. She was still the woman who'd murdered without thought. Who'd even enjoyed it.

"Very well, Doctor," she said. "On this one condition." Rose felt the Doctor's hand twitch a little in hers. He knew the price would be steep. "You go alone," Annabelle said. "You leave the TARDIS and Rose here. Both in my care." The Doctor had become very, very still. Only the tight grip he had on Rose's hand directly telling her how he felt about Annabelle's proposition. Panic.

Annabelle waltzed over to them. She didn't limp but there was a slight hitch in the way she moved as though there was something wrong with her joints.

"And if you do anything," Annabelle said. "Anything at all down there that might be construed as an act of war. If you just sneeze in a manner that displeases me I'll make sure you never see either of them again. Not your ship, not Rose. I'll leave you with nothing." She stopped. "Do we have a deal then, Doctor?" she asked.

"Doctor..." Rose said softly. The barest twitch of the muscles under his eye let her know she'd gotten his attention. "Go." He shook his head ever so slightly. "Yes," she insisted. "I'll be fine. And I'll look after the TARDIS. Just go down there and check it out. You can be back in a couple of hours."

"Rose," he began, his voice strained.

"You're gonna have to trust me a little, Doctor," Rose said. "Please. Just a little."

After a while he nodded. "Fine," he told Annabelle. "But if I find either in any other state than when I left..." he paused, Rose was sure only for dramatic effect. "... I'll make sure you wish you'd never been born."

"Don't worry, Doctor," Annabelle said. "I know the weight of your threats."

"Yeah, you should," the Doctor ground out.

Annabelle turned and walked over to, what looked like confessional stands. She drew one of the heavy velvet curtains aside.

"If you please, Doctor," she said. The Doctor let go of Rose's hand and without a glance to her walked over to Annabelle. He peaked into the stall.

"Teleport," he quickly concluded.

"Only way to reach the planet," Annabelle told him. "Or the easiest one at least." The Doctor got into one of the booths. "Oh, hold on," Annabelle halted the whole room. She got a hold of her long skirt and held it up a little to ease her movement. Rose saw that she couldn't quite close her hand around the fabric. She was probably worse off than she'd like them to believe. Annabelle strode over to Rose. Her straight back was so at odds with her irregular gait and crocked fingers. But as Annabelle moved Rose got a glimpse of something metal at Annabelle's neck and Rose suddenly remembered. The back-brace. The one Davros had made for her. The memory of the horrid way dalekanium had been fused to her spine filled Rose's mind for a second. It was probably still doing its job. Still helping to keep her alive even though she should be long dead.

Annabelle held out her hand towards Rose. "Bracelet," she said. Rose's gaze flickered up to hers in surprise and a little bit of fear.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"Simple," Annabelle replied. "If he steps out of line I'll be able to let him know immediately."

"By hurting me."

"That is entirely up to the Doctor." Rose didn't move. Taking the bracelet off was more of a chance then Rose thought Annabelle realised. "Incidentally..." Annabelle began. "...it will also ensure him you are alright. It is rather the perfect way to ensure both of us stick to the agreement."

Rose slowly reached for the clasp. It was a simple one. Just a push and a click and it would be off. Rose would be able to feel the Doctor again. She would be able to feel everything again.

"Agent Tyler?" Annabelle urged. Rose closed her eyes and unclasped the bracelet. Nothing but a click and the lock released. Annabelle was still holding out her hand and Rose reluctantly placed the bracelet in her palm. Annabelle's finger's closed around it. "Thank you," she said, striding back towards the Doctor.

Rose took a few deep breaths and with every breath it felt as though the world flooded back. She had expected to feel him instantly. But she didn't. He was there but somehow far away. Rose's gaze flickered up. But the Doctor wasn't looking at her, his eyes were downcast and without the bracelet Rose could immediately feel the pain of it. He was shielding his mind from hers, just as he'd done before.

Rose barely registered Annabelle telling the Doctor she was sending him off but right before he vanished, his eyes shot up to Rose's. The barrier came down. It was like flipping a light switch on inside her head. And she hadn't realised how dark everything had seemed before. The Doctor held her eyes as one single thought came bright and clear across the bond.

 _Get to the TARDIS. Run_.

Rose stood and watched as the Doctor vanished and as soon as he did that pressure settled back over her chest. She gulped in a lungful of air.

"So," she said, looking to Annabelle. Her gaze briefly flickered over the two clerics in the room and hastily calculated if she could get to the doors before they could draw their weapons again. "What now? Tea and biscuits while we wait?" And then she ran


	63. Chapter 63 - Impossible choices

Chapter 63 - Impossible choices

The cold was the first to hit him. And then the snow. The Doctor shivered as he crawled out of a heap of it. He'd landed in a forrest, covered in white. He focused his mind on the freezing cold. It was far better than what the bond was doing to him. First he had to endure it to begin with and then he had suffer it being blocked off and now he had to live with being thousands of miles away from very cause for all his agony. He was the worst kind of masochist. Always yearning for the thing that hurt him most.

The Doctor looked around. It was nighttime. Slivers of moonlight caught on the crystals in the snow, making them sparkle faintly. By all accounts it seemed to be a beautiful place.

He struggled to get out of the heap of snow but his sleeve caught on something. He turned and felt a touch of fear rush down his spine. His sleeve was caught on a stone hand. He pulled the sleeve free, ripping the fabric. He fell back in the snow, his gaze flew around, catching on more stone hands in the snow, a face, a wing. Angels. Weeping Angels. He scrambled to his feet, trying to keep his eyes on them all but he couldn't. He backtracked, his eyes flying madly about to halt them. But they were moving. Every time his eyes caught on one of the angels it had moved just a little closer.

He frantically dug his hands into his pockets, desperately searching for the key to the TARDIS. He found it just as one angel grabbed his leg and he tumbled to the ground. He tried to yank his foot free but the angel had him. They must be weak, he thought. A little slower and not strong enough to zap him back in time. But they could still do damage. He knew that well enough. Their cold stone hands could break bones and snap necks. The Doctor kept his eyes on the one who had a death grip on his leg but he could feel the others moving in. He managed to pull the sonic out of his pocket, aiming it at the key. It began glowing, pulsing, calling the TARDIS. He only had to pray Rose had managed to somehow get on the ship. She had to. Despite everything he couldn't bear to think of her all alone up there.

His eyes shot to the side and he cried out in alarm. One angel was right next to him, face twisted with fangs, claws reaching towards him. And then he felt the bones in his leg snap. He clenched his teeth together as pain tore through his leg. His gaze snapped to the angel who'd broken it. Stone. It was stone. But its face seemed to have been frozen with actual glee.

The others were coming. Those he couldn't even see. He knew they were coming. Then suddenly he heard it. The sound of the TARDIS. That wonderful wheezing, groaning sound. It began materialising around him, the familiar walls of his ship blocking out the weeping angels as they came for him. The snowy landscape vanished. He was on the floor, next to the console, his eyes fixed on the angel that was right there with him, still clinging to his broken leg. And all he could think about was, where was Rose?

"Rose!" he shouted. "Rose!"

One of the most dreadful moments passed when there was no reply at all and he was sure his hearts stopped beating for that one moment. Then he heard her as she came scurrying around.

"Doct..-" His name died on her lips as she cried out upon seeing the angel.

"Rose..."

"There's a weeping angel in the TARDIS," Rose said. "You brought a weeping angel into the TARDIS."

"I didn't have much choice!" he ground out. "The thing's rather attached to me in case you didn't notice." He wanted to look at Rose. He wanted to see her. He could feel her standing right above his shoulder. But he couldn't turn to look. The minute he took his eyes off the angel it would kill him. "Rose," he said, trying to sound calm but his hearts were racing as he struggled not to blink.

"Yeah," she said, drawing the word out slowly.

"Do you have your vortex manipulator?"

There was a pause then, "yeah, why?"

"Set the coordinates to some barren wasteland somewhere and put it on the angel."

"Are you bloody mad?!" Rose cried out.

"Rose, damn it! Just do as I say."

"Would that even work?!"

"We won't know that until we try it will we?!" His eyes were beginning to water. He saw Rose at the edge of his vision, a blurry shape of blonde hair and pale skin.

"Can I touch it?"

"Yes. It's weak."

The Doctor saw the barest of hesitation before Rose strapped the manipulator on the angel's wrist. It hurt a little even though he understood it. That manipulator was her escape route. With it she could always run, without it she was stuck with him. She turned and hurried back out of his line of sight.

"Lower the shields," he shot after her.

"I'm doing it," she told him. He could hear her flipping switches. "Now!" The Doctor aimed his sonic screwdriver at the vortex manipulator. There was a spark and the angel vanished. Yanked into the vortex and gone. The Doctor fell back on his elbows, breathing a sigh of relief. He'd used the sonic to overload the feedback loop. The manipulator would burn its circuits the minute the angel landed wherever Rose had sent it.

Rose suddenly crashed to the floor right next to him. He saw the impulse and he saw as she quenched it. She'd reached towards him, possibly for a hug but she'd pulled herself back probably because she wasn't wearing that cursed bracelet anymore. He saw her hands tightening into fists and she stayed where she was. He should be grateful. He yearned for her with a dark intensity that frightened even him. Being close to her now was just as much torment as it was pleasure. If before they'd spiralled into euphoria they now seemed to plummet into darkness, black and cruel. Touching her, he knew brought him closer to hell rather than salvation. She was after all, not his to touch simply because she no longer loved him.

But grateful wasn't the emotion that swirled in the Doctor's chest as Rose sat back on her heels. He felt robbed. Robbed of her.

"Are you okay?" she asked him. The Doctor tore his eyes away from her and nodded.

"Fine," he said, turning around and getting a hold of the console. He used it to pull himself up but faltered as he put a bit of weight on his broken leg. Rose caught him.

"Doctor?"

"It's nothing," he insisted. Rose looked down at his leg.

"It broke your leg didn't it?" she said.

"Just a bit," the Doctor admitted, leaning away from Rose and using the console to steady himself instead. He caught her eye for just a second and thought he saw a hint of hurt there. Hurt that he rejected her help.

Rose turned away, heading off and roughly setting the TARDIS into flight.

"I located the source of the transmission," she said. They both clung to the console as the ship shook. "It's not far from here." The Doctor turned ungracefully around so he could see her, hopping on one leg. The ship reeled and he almost fell over. He glanced up at the time rotor. "She really doesn't like it here," Rose remarked. He watched as she fought to land the ship. Rose was right. The TARDIS really didn't. But why?

The Doctor managed to reach across the console, helping Rose steady the ship until they shakily managed to land, despite the TARDIS's obvious objections. Rose took a step back from the console, brushing a blonde string of hair out of her face.

"Rose," the Doctor said softly, feeling guilty that he'd hurt her feelings even over such a small matter.

"Since you're fine I imagine you can handle that yourself." She didn't look at him.

"Rose," he repeated and she ignored him.

"It's obviously cold on this planet so I'm gonna go find something warm to wear."

"Rose." She turned and walked away. "Rose!" His voice echoed through the room and she froze with her foot on the first step of the stairs, her hand on the railing. "I..." He struggled, suddenly at a loss as to what to say. He rearranged his position a bit as his leg was hurting rather badly. He needed to reset it before it started heeling up the wrong way. "Nothing."

"Right."

Rose walked up the stairs without sparing him a glance. Instinctively he moved to follow. But the minute he took a step pain raked through him from where the bloody bone was broken. He swallowed a cry and it came out more as a whimper. The Doctor ground his teeth together, silently cursing is own idiocy. Rose had stopped again. At the top of the stairs. He could feel her eyes on him. It was still difficult for her to leave someone who was hurt. Even him. Still. But she didn't ask if he needed help. Probably knew he was unlikely to accept any. The Doctor reached down his leg, feeling the damage. The bone was only slightly out of alignment. He could fix that. "I'm fine," he said. "It's fine."

Rose's eyes fell down to his hands as they fumbled at his leg. "What are you doing?" she asked with suspicion. He glanced up at her and gave her a weak smile. Then he shoved the bone back to where it should be. He'd hoped he would be cool about it but he wasn't. Pushing the bone back made pain shoot up his entire leg and he cried out, faltering. Rose immediately rushed down the stairs, catching him before he toppled over.

"Are you bloody mad?" she asked him and it almost made him stupidly smile how cross she sounded. Cross meant that she cared. Even if she couldn't love him anymore she still cared enough to be angry at him for getting himself hurt. And he sadly had to admit that brought at least a hint of joy.

The Doctor's flailing hands got caught in Rose's hair as she struggled to help him stay upright. Until his fingers brushed by her cheek and they both froze. Tingles rushed over his skin from where he touched hers. The bond sparked off, neurones firing inside his mind, his blood humming with the knowledge of just how inevitable this was. Damnation.

The Doctor pulled free of her and he stumbled, catching himself against the console.

"Sorry," he muttered as he clutched the edges so tightly his knuckles were quickly turning white.

"It's fine," he heard Rose say, her voice not quite steady. He forced himself to glance up at her. She stood hugging her arms around herself as though she was suddenly cold. She didn't look fine. She looked a little scared. "You need... help?" she asked, awkwardly indicating his leg. But even if it might make getting up the stairs a little easier it was probably best to stay clear for the moment.

"Fine," she said with an exasperated sigh. "You're an adult. Sort of. You make your own choices." She spun away and headed back out of the console room, clearly not in the mood to argue with him any further. Again he really should be grateful but all he felt was abandoned. He supposed he would always feel like that. After all, he'd lost the most important thing in all the universe. Rose was right here with him and yet she was still lost to him. She always would be, whether she'd come to terms with it yet or not.

/

Rose shut the door to the gigantic wardrobe behind her. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm her frantic beating heart. A chance touch, a single brush of his fingers against her skin was all it took. She had to get herself together. She'd known it was going to be like this. The more they fought against the bond the more alert it became. Firing off at the smallest incentive. She took another deep breath, which barely did anything at all to calm her. She headed off among the never ending lines of clothes and quickly found the coat she thought she'd worn when they'd visited Davros's lair with Annabelle. For the first time the thought of Annabelle Conn actually made Rose smile a little because Rose would bet she wasn't all that pleased at the moment. Not only had the Doctor convinced her to let him go and check out the planet but both her bargaining chips had slipped out of her fingers.

Rose drew the nice grey coat on. She ran her fingers over the fur along the collar. Even though she was quite sure it wasn't real wolf's fur it felt incredibly soft. Rose finished buttoning up the coat and then stared down at her torn trouser leg. Who was she kidding. She needed to change all her clothes. She was a mess. So she slipped back out of the coat, located a new pair of jeans and a simple but warm looking sweater. She drew on the clothes, even managing to find some boots before she put the coat back on. She caught her reflection in a mirror, half hidden behind an array of clothes and quickly combed down her hair with her fingers. She needed a shower too but she doubted there was any time. She used the heal of her hand to brush away some of the soot stains on her cheeks and then she exited the wardrobe, making her way back to the console room.

There she found the Doctor scurrying around the console and talking at the TARDIS. It was quite the wonderful sight because it was so familiar. He wasn't dressed any warmer then usual. Apparently his knee- length coat and usual getup was all he needed to stay warm. He was walking a little stiffly as though he'd at least used something to set his leg.

"Why are you arguing with me?" he was asking the ship. " I don't care if the environment is hostile. I survived just fine."

"The environment is hostile?" Rose asked from the top of the stairs. He stopped and glanced up at her. For a moment he seemed lost for words as though he'd not expected her there.

"Yes," he said then. "I mean no. No it's fine. Really it is. I don't know why she's insisting that it's hostile. You landed us on a lava planet and she didn't object. All that seems to be outside those doors is a ghost town and possibly some trees."

"When you say ghost town though..." Rose began.

"I mean an empty town," he clarified. "No actual ghosts. That we know of."

"Right, just making sure." Rose stepped down the stairs. "So, any sign of life at all?" she asked as she joined him at the monitor.

"Not one," the Doctor answered quietly as he stared at the screen.

"What about the weeping angels?" He didn't answer right away so Rose turned her eyes from the monitor. He was looking down. She followed his line of sight and saw that she'd placed her hand right next to his on the console. Their fingers were mere inches apart.

"Nowhere near here," he said distractedly. None of them moved though they probably both wanted to. Rose could feel the pull and knew he must be too. It would be the slightest touch. Just her finger brushing his but it would ripple through her whole body. "I... eh..." The Doctor swallowed hard. "How are you doing?" he asked. "Without the bracelet, I mean."

"I'm better," Rose assured him. Being with the tenth version of him, even for such a short time had calmed her. She had regained some of the hope she'd lost.

The Doctor drew in a hasty breath. Whether he made that connection or not Rose didn't know but he drew his hand back quickly.

"Good." He returned his attention to the monitor.

"Well," Rose said, trying to put some cheer into her voice as she spun towards him, leaning her hip against the console. "Ready to check it out then, Doctor?" His eyes flickered from her to the screen and back again.

"I don't know what any of this means," he said, pointing to the screen. "I have no idea what's going on."

"Yeah, but isn't that exactly why we do this?" Rose reminded him, determined to not let go of that hope. "For the 'not knowing'?" The Doctor suddenly gave her a lopsided smile before he spun away, practically pirouetting around her and heading for the doors.

"Here we go then, Rose Tyler," he said. "Out into the unknown."

Rose hurried after him as he threw opened the door and disappeared outside. They had landed in the town square. The buildings around it where small and rudimentary. Mostly built in wood but some where in stone. Everything was covered in sparkling white snow and not a single sound could be heard. Rose put the hood up to protect her from the biting cold. She stepped up next to the Doctor.

"What happened here?" Rose asked.

"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. He strode over to the centre of the square where there had been raised a tree. It wasn't decorated with lights or baubles but simple white ribbons. The Doctor reached out, letting one ribbon brush between his fingers. It released from the branch it had been tied to and the wind immediately picked it up and carried it away, too quickly for either Rose or the Doctor to catch it.

"I think this might be something like a prayer tree," he said.

"Prayers for what?" Rose asked, thinking she wasn't sure if she wanted him to answer that.

"The dead." Rose swallowed hard. There were easily over a hundred ribbons in that tree. "Let's go," the Doctor said. He did not sound happy. "The origin of the signal is over here." Rose followed him across the snow covered square. They were both looking at the houses around them, trying to see into the windows. Trying to see any indication to what had happened to the town. The new fallen snow might be concealing all manner of horrors.

The Doctor was leading the way to an old stone church, a bell tower at it's top and couple of stone steps leading up to the front doors. The Doctor hesitated a little on the first step. Rose could feel his fear, even sharing a measure of it. It was the fear of disappointment. Because no matter how many times the Doctor must have told himself this wasn't Gallifrey Rose knew there was still that little sliver of hope, deep down inside.

Rose hesitated but then reached for his hand, twining their fingers together. The bond sparked off immediately as she'd feared it would. But the Doctor didn't let go. Instead his fingers tightened around hers and Rose fought so he'd only feel strength from her. Because he was going to need it. Whatever they found he was going to need it.

They walked up the steps together but the minute they reached the top the doors in front of them suddenly burst opened and a girl and a boy came bursting forth, brandishing makeshift spears. The Doctor and Rose stumbled back a step in surprise. No sign of life, the Doctor had said.

Rose stared down at the both of them. They couldn't be older than eight or nine, she thought. They were dressed for the cold. Warm- looking coats and mittens and hats in forest greens and deep reds. Wisps of blonde hair stuck out under their caps and Rose felt fairly secure in making the assumption that these two were siblings.

"Stop right there!"the girl ordered Rose and Doctor. Both of them raised their hands in surrender.

"Sorry," Rose said.

"Intruders!" the boy shouted back over his shoulder. "Lex!"

"No, no," the Doctor quickly said "Not intruders just, ah visitors. Just visitors." He fished his psychic paper out of his pocket and showed it to the two kids. "Take a look at this," he said. Both kids squinted at the paper.

"What are you showing us a blank paper for?" the boy asked. "Are you thick or something?"

"Blank?" the Doctor looked at the paper. Rose raised her eyebrows at him in question. "I'm trying to tell them I'm the king of Norway," the Doctor said. "But it's not working."

"Is it a lying paper?" the girl asked. "You can't lie here."

"Can't lie? Why?' Rose watched the two children.

"Because your brain will turn to mush," the boy replied.

"And pour out of your ears," the girl added.

Suddenly someone else came running out of the church. A boy of about fifteen, his hair not quite as blonde as his two younger siblings but one could still easily tell they were related.

"What's going on?" he asked. Spotting the Doctor and Rose he immediately drew a gun he had at a holster on his hip. Both Rose and the Doctor took a hasty step back.

"Hey, no need for that," the Doctor tried to assure. "We didn't come here to cause any trouble."

"That's the only reason anyone comes here," the older boy pointed out.

"Is it?" the Doctor asked. "Well, I happen to have been invited." The two smaller kids slowly lowered their spears and even the older boy's sight lowered slightly.

"Invited?" he asked. "Are you who the message is for?"

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed, straightening his bowtie. "Yes, I am."

The two younger kids got awestruck looks on their faces while the older still looked understandably cautious.

"My father will want to see you then," the boy said and he holstered his gun, turning and walking back inside the church, his two younger siblings following. The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other before the Doctor headed inside. Rose followed but she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye so she paused and turned her head, her hand slipping out of the Doctor's.

What Rose saw standing in the snow should be impossible. Unless this was all a dream. Or a nightmare. There was a horrible split second where Rose actually debated not calling out to the Doctor. One moment of weakness. Surely she was allowed that. Then when she opened her mouth to call out to him she was halted.

"Don't."

Rose turned back to the woman standing at the bottom of the steps, watching her.

"He can't see me," she said with sorrow. That deep rooted kind of sorrow that only true heartbreak could bring.

"River..." Despite River's relationship with the Doctor. Despite her actually being the woman that married him and Rose had every right to hate her, Rose knew that sorrow. She knew it well. Rose and River were united in both the pain and in the love of the Doctor. That was something that neither could deny.

Rose took one step down the stairs towards the other woman. Her hair was as big and wild as Rose remembered, her stance as confident and strong as ever. "How are you here?" Rose asked. "I don't understand..."

"I'm not," River interrupted her. "Not really."

"What' you mean?"

"I'm dead," River said without preamble. "I died on a ship. A long time ago. Far away from here."

"But the library...didn't you get there?"

River nodded. "I did. I got to live in world filled with all the stories ever written."

"Sounds quite good."

"It was the best he could do and far better than anyone could ask for," River said with a small smile. "But it was only half a life."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," River assured her. "I don't regret a moment."

"Not a moment with him," Rose filled in, nodding. She knew all about that.

"A lifetime," River said and Rose felt a twinge of pain twist her heart. River, despite it all had a lifetime of the Doctor. Rose had moments. Wonderful and beautiful, passionate and true but mere moments none the less.

"Why... why can I see you if he can't?" Rose asked, gathering herself.

"The link I formed so that I could warn you is still there."

"How? That was years ago... ages."

"Not to me," River explained. "Nothing lasts forever. Not even echoes of souls trapped in code. This is me echoing out, in a manner of speaking. These are my last few moments."

"And you want to spend them with him," Rose realised.

"Yes, but I can't," River said with a shake of her shoulders as though it was no big thing. Except Rose knew it was. Of course it was.

"Isn't there some way..." Rose began, trailing off.

"And you'd let me if there was?" River regarded Rose thoughtfully. Rose's first instinct was to say, of course. River loved the Doctor, Rose knew that much and if she was dying of course she should spend her last moments with him. But seeing the pair of them together would hurt. After the Doctor had married River Rose hadn't been able to even look at him. No matter Rose knew it had to happen, it had still felt too much like a betrayal.

"Of course," Rose said anyway because no matter how Rose felt she could never rob neither River nor the Doctor of a last moment together. River might even bring the Doctor some comfort after all.

River smiled. "He was right about you," she said. "You weren't just good for him, you made him better. You made him whole." Rose curled an errand lock behind her ear, not sure what to say to that since it was a truth that might no longer be valid. "I understand now," River said. "I love that man with all my heart and he cares for me I'm sure but loving him was like loving the stars themselves and you don't ask a star to love you back. But with you... it's different. If he was a star he'd burn himself out for the love of you."

"River... don't," Rose interrupted her, her heart aching too much for her the bear it. "Just stop."

Surprise crept into River's face. Surprise that slowly became understanding. "He hasn't forgiven you."

But Rose shook her head. "He thinks I don't love him," she said. River placed her hands on her hips and scowled.

"That damn, infuriating mad fool," she ground out.

"Yeah, well..."

"Oh, he can be so very clever one minute and an idiot the next."

"I hurt him, River," Rose offered in his defence. "And he..." Rose shook her head, not quite sure if she could ever explain it all, even to River.

"Rose?"

Rose twirled around at the sound of the Doctor's voice. "What are you doing?" he asked, peaking his head out of the entryway. "Who are you talking to?" His eyes shifted around, fastening on nothing. Rose looked back at River where she stood.

"I told you," River said. "He can't see me."

"Rose?" Rose turned back towards the Doctor. "Come on then," he said and disappeared inside. Rose meant to say something more to River but found she was gone. As though she'd vanished into thin air. But Rose had a feeling she would be back. Echoing out her last moments as close to the man she loved as she could get.

The inside of the church looked actually nothing like a church. It was a haphazard assembly of an array of furniture. A few benches here, a set of sofas and chairs over there. Mismatched and chosen rather for comfort than aesthetics.

"You're very sort of welcoming," the Doctor told the older boy's back as he led them through the room to a set of stone steps. Rose passed by the two smaller children as they sat on a bench watching Rose and the Doctor walk by.

"You entered," the older boy said, disappearing down the winding stone stairs, forcing the Doctor and Rose to hurry after him.

"What does that mean exactly?" Rose asked.

"All the other's...," the boy explained over his shoulder. "... none of them could come anywhere near this building. Scared out of their wits they were. No matter how many at once."

"There have been other's here?" the Doctor asked. The stairwell was dark and dingy, taking them down under ground.

"Yes," the boy confirmed. "Men of metal and those of stone and monsters hidden inside machines. There have been many and will undoubtedly be many more."

"Why?" Rose wondered.

"Our father will tell you," the boy said. They reached the bottom, the floor beneath them stone, old fashioned torches on the walls to illuminate a dark room. Desks were placed out all around, every inch of them covered by large sheets of paper filled with diagrams and mathematical equations. Even the walls appeared to have been written on. "Father?" the boy called out and suddenly a man popped up from behind a desk. His hair was as blonde as his children's but unkept. It had been tied back hastily, strings of it falling in his face and over horn-rimmed glasses that magnified his eyes so much he almost looked like a giant bug. His clothes were in equal disarray, though he did wear a tie which would suggest he at least tried in the mornings. The man straightened his glasses and sharp blue eyes focused on the Doctor and Rose.

"Visitors?" he asked in surprise.

"The one with the chin says the message's for him," the boy told his father, who's eyes shifted to his.

"Really?" he asked intriguingly. The boy shrugged and the man came out from behind the desk.

"Hello," the Doctor said cheerily. "I'm the Doctor and this is Rose." He pointed to Rose who gave a wave.

"Hello."

The man straightened his tie and combed back his hair as he came over, clasping first the Doctor's hand and then Rose's shaking them vigorously.

"Most astounding," he said.

"I agree," the Doctor readily agreed, smiling happily though Rose was sure he had no idea what he was really agreeing too. "What's astounding?" he asked then.

"Oh, forgive me," the man said. "My name's Robert and that's Lexander," he pointed to the boy.

"Lex," the boy quickly corrected.

"Kids," Robert said apologetically. "Always in a hurry. Soon everyone will speak in mono syllables to save time. The world is going down the drain." He turned away and returned to his charts and Rose thought it rather funny that this was his biggest concern when the sky was filled with Cybermen and Daleks.

The Doctor walked over, his eyes running over the papers littering the desk.

"I have two more of them," Robert was saying as he ran his fingers along the numerous calculations he'd made. "Rascals those two. Should have named them mischief and mayhem."

"You did, father," Lex reminded him in a tone of voice that suggested he'd reminded him many times before. Robert chuckled to himself and Rose could see a smile tugging even at the Doctor's lips.

"I did though, didn't I." Robert seemed exceedingly pleased at this and Rose caught Lex rolling his eyes. The two aforementioned rascals giggled from the doorway.

"What were you named after?" Rose asked Lex. He seemed stumped for a moment, surprised she'd asked him.

"Some fairytale prince," Robert answered with a casual flick of his hand before Lex had a chance to respond. "His mother named him. She was the fanciful one." He halted for a moment and simply stood still, lost in memories. "Loved her for it," he said then, his voice filled with wistfulness and heartache.

"What happened?" the Doctor asked. Robert drew in a hasty breath.

"One of the first to go," he said. "It was the stone creatures that came first. Drawn to the rift like everything else. They took some people. Killed others."

"The town?"the Doctor asked.

"We ran here," Robert explained. "My brother was the one who used to live in this place. He was the one who guarded the rift..." Robert wandered away among his charts. "Also gone now."

"What rift?" Rose asked.

Robert visibly pulled himself together. "Come and see," he said. He led the way deeper into the room, past shelves upon shelves filled with rolls of paper. Until a new light, colder than the ones from the torches illuminated them. It was a tear in the wall. A crack. A crack Rose recognised. It was exactly like the crack in Amy's bedroom when she'd been a little girl. Rose had heard there'd been more of them throughout time and space and she knew the TARDIS had been the cause. But the Doctor had fixed it. He'd rebooted the entire universe.

The Doctor was staring at the crack as he took a few steps towards it.

"Doctor, be careful," Rose asked of him though he didn't appear to hear her. He walked over as though someone or something was calling him near. He reached out, running his fingers carefully along the edges of the tear.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked, glancing over at Robert. Lex was standing next to him and the two younger ones were hiding behind a bookcase.

"Most of these..." Robert indicated the scrolls and scribblings all around them. "Were done by my brother as he guarded this place. I haven't had time to go through them all yet..."

"It's a tear," the Doctor said. "A tear in the fabric of space and time. A weak spot."

"What's it for?" Lex wanted to know and the Doctor's eyes caught Rose's. She knew that look. It was the look he got when he needed her to talk to him, to get his mind going.

"The same as in Amy's bedroom," Rose said and he nodded. "Something's on the other side, yeah?"

The Doctor turned towards the wall, running his hands along the stone.

"If something wanted to get through to our universe this would be the spot," he confirmed.

"What's trying to get through?" Robert asked and Rose could hear the worry. There had been a buzzing town here before no doubt. But because of this tear, things had come and people had died.

"What indeed," the Doctor muttered and Rose remembered the TARDIS. The TARDIS reluctantly saying this planet was Gallifrey. Not whatever it was actually called but Gallifrey.

"Doctor..."

"I know," he said and she knew he'd had the same thought. "The TARDIS said Gallifrey. That this was Gallifrey."

"The message. It asked for your name."

The Doctor leaned his forehead against the wall, right next to the crack. Rose came over to his side, putting her hand on his shoulder. She would have taken his hand again but worried he couldn't bear the added weight of the bond on top of everything else.

The Doctor reached up and clasped her hand instead, wrapping his fingers tightly around hers and Rose felt electricity instantly sizzle along her nerves.

"It's not a burden," he said, taking her hand to his lips and kissing her fingers. "Not now."

"Is it there though?" Rose asked. "Is Gallifrey on the other side?" The Doctor nodded, not relinquishing her hand.

"I need only speak my name and they would know it was safe to come through. The truth-field would ensure I couldn't lie."

"Truth-field?" Rose asked in surprise.

"The psychic paper," the Doctor reminded her. "It didn't work because it was laying-paper." He glanced at her, seeing her confusion. "Tell me a lie," he said. "Try."

"I..." Rose tried to tell him something simple like that her hair was brown but that was not what she said. "I love... your bowtie," she said instead because for some reason her eyes had caught on it. She looked up at him in surprise. He smiled dreamily, his eyes closed, her hand still at his lips.

"Bowties are cool," he said and Rose stifled a laugh.

"I was trying to tell you that my hair is... blonde," she said, incapable of saying brown. He opened his eyes, smiling it her.

"It is very blonde," he confirmed. "And very beautiful."

"But Doctor," Rose interrupted him. "You can have them back then, yeah? You just need to say your name. Your whole planet. Your race. Your home. "

And the Doctor shook his head sadly. "Yes, but what would I be bringing back?" he asked and Rose remembered the last time the Time Lords had tried to return. How Rassilon had almost knocked the Earth out of orbit and instigated a final sanction. War had twisted them into madness, the Doctor had told her. How could they know for sure if a few hundred years or so in time-out had changed that?

"But..." Rose tried, knowing and seeing on his face how much this meant to him. How much it would come to cost either way and she didn't know what to say. He was looking to her for advice, for help and she didn't know what to tell him.

But then something suddenly drew his attention.

"What's that noise?" the Doctor asked Robert. Robert turned around, searching for the noise the Doctor was referring to. Rose also had to stop and listen carefully until she heard the peeping.

"Oh that." Robert gave a shake of his shoulders. "That's just the cretins up there..." he pointed up. "... blabbering."

"Cretins?" the Doctor asked, Rose thinking Robert would have to be a bit more specific.

"Some Church or other," Robert explained. "Says they're the reason we aren't getting attacked no more. Put up some shield to keep us safe."

"But you don't believe them?" Rose asked.

"They threatened to take down the shield if we didn't tell them what was actually down here," Lex said.

"Never trust someone who threatens you," Robert told them.

"Good advice," the Doctor agreed with a nod. "But..." He took off and everyone quickly scurried to follow. He rushed around, spinning about and looking under all the charts.

"It's over here." Robert hurried over to another desk, as littered with papers as all the others and lifted a whole bunch of them off. He revealed a long range radio underneath. Quite high-tech for such a rural town. "Reception is not so good," he informed them as he turned a few dials and Annabelle Conn's voice came blaring through the speakers. But the reception really wasn't very good so they only caught every other word.

The Doctor got his sonic screwdriver out of his inner coat pocket and ran it over the radio with a practiced flick of his wrist. Annabelle's voice cleared out.

"Do you hear me? Both of you?"she asked. "I'll let every last Cybermen and Dalek descend on your location...!"

"Annabelle, hello," the Doctor said, leaning his hip against the table. Annabelle became silent for a moment.

"I trust Agent Tyler is with you?"

"She is," the Doctor confirmed. "And the TARDIS."

"Thought we had a deal." Rose almost laughed at Annabelle's pitiful attempt to gain the moral high ground.

"Yes, well as a newly made friend of mine once said, never trust those who threaten you. And you are all about threats, Annabelle."

"That is the only thing you respond to, Doctor," they heard Annabelle ground out through the speakers.

"Right, lovely to chat but gotta go," the Doctor told her, straightening and aiming the screwdriver at the radio.

"Wait!" Annabelle called out. "I wasn't making idle threats. Tell me what you found or I'll remove the shield."

"What does it matter?" The Doctor asked. "Both the Cybermen and the Daleks will be able to get through it soon enough, if they can't already."

"But with it up you at least have a little more time," Annabelle pointed out. "They know you're down there, their fear won't stop them forever. Doctor, tell me!"

There was a moment of silence following Annabelle's desperate outburst.

"It's a rift in time and space," the Doctor said after a while. "The message that drew you all here is coming from another universe." Rose looked to the Doctor, surprised he was telling Annabelle this. He couldn't lie because of the truth field but he could surely say nothing.

"Time Lords then." Annabelle said.

"Time Lords." The Doctor confirmed. He waited but there was only silence from the other end of the line.

"She knew," Rose realised. "Even James knew." The Doctor shifted his eyes to Rose's. "He said you'd bring them back," she reminded him.

"She can't have known." The Doctor shock his head. "Or she would never have agreed for me to come down here. But I'm sure she suspected. Didn't you Annabelle?" the Doctor asked into the radio.

It took a moment before they heard Annabelle's reply.

"I decided I had to be sure," she said. "Before..."

"Before what?" Rose asked.

"Before killing me," the Doctor filled in. "Isn't that right?" There was no reply for a while.

"I tried to stop you coming here," Annabelle said then. "I even gave you the chance to leave once you had. I gave you every opportunity to go. But this is the last time I will offer it. Go now and live out your life with Rose or stay here and you'll both die."

Rose watched the Doctor's face harden, his eyes growing dark.

"I can bring an army to stand at my back," the Doctor told Annabelle.

"Yes," she agreed. "Perhaps. But I have several at mine. I told you if you do anything that could be construed as an act of war...-"

"You'd hurt Rose," the Doctor ground out, clutching the edge of the desk and glaring at the radio as though it was Annabelle before him. "But you don't have her and even if you did I would never, never let you hurt her."

"You should have thought of that before," Annabelle told him. "You have until dawn. If you're not gone by then I'll assume you attempt to bring them all back and I will stop you."

"Is this you trying to be kind again?" the Doctor asked with a bit of mocking in his tone. "Because you're terrible at it."

"Perhaps I am the monster Agent Tyler likes to think I am," Annabelle said. "But this monster is on the right side. Can you say the same, Doctor?" The line went dead. Annabelle had ended the call.

"Doctor," Rose began. But he spun away, his eyes running frantically over all the papers with their hundred upon hundreds of calculations. Rose came over to him, clasping his elbow and halting him. "Doctor... " Rose began. "... Doctor, all those Daleks and Cybermen and Slitheen up there..." The Doctor rubbed at his forehead, his eyes haunted. "If you bring the Time Lords back... it... it will be war. Annabelle's right about that." The Doctor's eyes met Rose's and the horrible conflict she saw in them made her heart ache for him worse than ever. He knew, she realised. Of course he knew. It was ever only going to be an impossible choice.

"The Time War," he agreed. "It will begin again. The greatest war the universe has ever known. If I bring them back now I stopped nothing." He drew away from Rose, taking a few stumbling steps back. "It will all have been for nothing." He clasped the edges of the desk closest to him. His breathing was growing laboured and Rose could tell he was trying so hard to keep it all together.

She reached out again, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain that was in very twitch of his muscles, every ragged breath. But the Doctor lashed out before she reached him. Angrily he pushed all the papers of the desk. Some flew into the air as others crashed to the floor. "I would have suffered for nothing!" he screamed. He got a hold of more rolls and writing tools throwing them aimlessly around.

A case with pencils hit the wall, breaking and scattering them across the floor, papers sailed through the air and fear began to gather in Rose's chest. Fear for the Doctor and what this choice would do to him. The TARDIS had tried to stop them coming here. The old ship must have known what awaited. Perhaps they should have listened.

The Doctor fell against a bookcase that thankfully took his weight. Weeping now, he crumbled to the floor and Rose was right there with him as he faltered. She sank down, wrapping her arms around him, holding him without saying a word. Despite everything that had happened between them. Despite his conviction she no longer loved him he had to know at least that she would stand by him and that she would always, always catch him when he fell. Rose brushed her fingers gently through his hair.

"But what kind of man would I be if I left them there to die?" he asked with such honesty and fear Rose could feel the emotion behind each pained word. She could feel the exact agony this put him through. This impossible choice that he alone could make.

Rose kissed his forehead, leaning her cheek against the top of the Doctor's head.

"I don't know, Doctor," she said. "I don't know."


	64. Chapter 64 - What we endure

**To start, I'm so sorry this took way too long to post. Again. But it's like I've said, this might take a while but I will finish it. Promise. Thank you so, so much to the guest reviewers whom I can't thank personally. I can never begin to explain how much it means to me that you take the time to write a review! It makes me absolutely ridiculously happy!**

 **Also a special thank you to cyandevil666 who was actually nice enough to grammar check for me! Thank you so much! You were amazing!**

 **Alright, well I do hope you all like this chapter! Have a really great weekend!**

Chapter 64 - What we endure

"Is your Doctor friend alright?" Robert handed Rose a cup of tea where she sat on a frayed old sofa. Rose took it, shaking her head.

"No," she said. "He isn't." The Doctor was gone, wandered off somewhere. Needed a moment alone, he'd said. Robert rubbed at his forehead and pushed his glasses higher up on his nose.

"His race is on the other side of the crack in the wall. Did I get that right?" Robert asked, and Rose nodded.

"There was a big war. To save the rest of the universe and stop the war, the Doctor sent his people away. For a long time he actually thought he'd destroyed them all."

"Destroyed them?" Robert looked at her with shock.

"The war turned them into something they weren't," Rose explained. "Trust me. He did what he had to." Robert sat down in the sofa next to Rose.

"I see," he said. Rose sat back with the warm cup in her hands, enjoying the warmth spreading through her fingers for a bit.

"All those things up there," Rose said, nodding towards the ceiling and thinking of the armies up in the sky. "They're his enemies. Creatures he's fought in the past. Ruthless things built out of hate or created to conquer."

"Yes," Robert agreed. "I've seen them. There have been many over the years. None has dared enter this place," he said, looking around for a moment. "Didn't stop them killing whoever got in their way though."

"I'm sorry," Rose said. "I really am." Robert nodded, shifting his glasses and rubbing his eyes for a moment.

"Some fled," he said. "Most died." He arranged his glasses back where they belonged. "So, what's gonna happen, now?" he asked, his eyes not on Rose but on the twins. The ones apparently accurately named Mis and May. They were sitting under a table, whispering to each other. According to both Robert and Lex they were always up to something.

Rose took a deep breath before she answered. "I don't know," she said. "If the Doctor chooses to leave his people stranded on the other side, I'm sure the Papal Mainframe or the Daleks or the Cybermen... one or all of them will come up with some way to destroy this whole planet and the rift with it, sealing Gallifrey away for good, and the Doctor will lose his home forever. Or he'll bring them back, and that big war will start up all over again."

"This war..." Robert began. "How... big...?"

"Bigger than you can imagine," Rose answered. "It was the Last Great Time War. It laid waste to entire galaxies and gave birth to unspeakable monsters." Rose thought of the Nightmare Child and the Moment. Things created to fight a war that no one could win. The Nightmare Child had been an abomination born out of chaos and the Moment was something once beautiful twisted and corrupted. Rose knew there were more things that had been born in that war, more horrors. But perhaps in the end none of them had surpassed the Time Lords themselves. "It would have been the end of everything," Rose continued. "It might still be, I guess."

"It won't be."

Rose looked up as the Doctor entered the room. His eyes caught hers. "I won't let it." Rose got up from the sofa, Robert rising with her.

"You have a plan then?" Rose asked.

"Yes," the Doctor declared. "I am staying right here, and I am going to fight. I won't let them destroy this planet and that crack along with it. If I have to I'll stand against them for a thousand years." Fire burned in the Doctor's eyes. That passion and purpose Rose had always admired about him. "And then maybe one day... one day it will be safe to bring them back. To bring my people back. But until that day comes there isn't a power in this universe that is going stop me."

"Well," came suddenly Lex's voice from the doorway. "After that rousing speech, count me in." The Doctor turned to the boy as the twins scrambled out from under the table.

"Us too," they declared in unison.

"Don't know how much use I'll be..." Robert said. "But my brother died protecting that bloody crack in the wall and what kind of a brother would I be if I didn't continue his fight. I'm with you." But the Doctor shook his head. "You two are not," Robert added, pointing at the twins.

"No, no, no," the Doctor said. "This is not your fight. None of you. This is my burden. My..."

"Doctor," Rose interrupted him. She put the cup down and the Doctor watched her as she came over to him. She reached out taking his hand and could instantly feel the fire inside him, the strength of his convictions. The Doctor was never as strong as when he had a purpose.

"No offence, but the reason you always tend to win isn't just because you are brilliant all on your own," she said."Though you are. But it's because the people around you are kinda brilliant too." She smiled at him. "If you are going to fight this battle, you're gonna need us."

The Doctor's fingers tightened around Rose's. "I can't ask you to do that," he said.

"You didn't ask," Robert was quick to point out.

"We volunteered," Lex added.

"Not you." Robert pointed at the twins who had both been about to voice their agreement. Both their faces fell before they turned to each other, whispering. The Doctor's gaze swept the room before returning to Rose.

"You don't have to," he said. "We can get the bracelet back. You can run... you..."

"Stop," Rose halted him, taking a step closer and lowering her voice to his ears alone. "If you think there would ever come a day when I would not stand by you, you know absolutely nothing about me."

"Rose..." he tried again but she would have none of it.

"I will always stand by you," she repeated with force. "Is that clear?" His gaze dropped from hers and he reluctantly nodded. She could see he wanted to argue further but this wasn't the time.

The Doctor looked up at the others. "I have a way for you to get off this planet," he said. "I can take you anywhere you'd want to go. Are you sure you want to stay?" They all nodded, even the twins which earned another glare from their father. "Alright then." The Doctor took a deep breath and let go of Rose's hand. She wished he hadn't but said nothing. "Let's get started then, shall we?"

The Doctor dashed off.

"Doctor?" Rose hurried after him. He made his way into a corner of the room littered with all manner of discarded items: bits of engines and batteries; half-finished constructions; and others screwed apart for their components. The Doctor was picking things up and tossing them aside.

"Hey!" the twin girl, May, exclaimed in indignation. The Doctor squinted at something that resembled a digital microscope.

"Portable x-ray?" The Doctor asked the twins. They both nodded.

"It's broken now but we used to use it to look through the kitchen door when we stole cookies from the pantry," Mis, the twin boy, informed them.

"Cool," the Doctor said, tossing it away over his shoulder.

"I knew you were stealing cookies!" Lex growled at the twins and they grinned mischievously.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Rose asked. The Doctor found a big cable, tossing it over his shoulder.

"Just a bit of insurance."

And the Doctor sped off again, everyone able to do nothing but follow. They trailed after him as he made his way behind the stacks of charts and papers, back to the dark corner with the crack in the wall.

"There are Daleks up there," the Doctor explained as he hunkered down next to the crack. "And Cybermen and... well, they all have a very impressive amount of firepower." He threw the big cable down on the floor, and Rose noticed he'd also grabbed some sort of power source, like a big car battery. "I need to make sure they don't simply blow us all up."

"By doing what exactly?" Rose asked.

"If I link the power of this rift to the Eye of Harmony inside the TARDIS then if they so much as throw a firecracker in this direction, it will create a chain reaction and blow a rather sizeable hole in the universe, taking all of them with it."

"You are actually going to somehow link the energy from this crack in the wall to the TARDIS?" Rose asked disbelievingly. The Doctor nodded. "That doesn't sound like a good idea," Rose pointed out.

"What's a TARDIS?" Lex asked.

"It's our only way off this planet," Rose explained.

"And he's going to do what with it?" Lex wanted to know.

"He is going to turn it into a bomb." Rose folded her arms across her chest. "And hope that stops anyone from trying to blow us up."

"He's going to stop a potential bomb with another... bigger bomb?" Robert asked doubtfully as he came into the room.

"Yeah," Rose confirmed. The Doctor sighed and looked at Rose over his shoulder.

"I'm not actually going to link the Eye of Harmony to this," he said, indicating the crack. "That would be suicide. I'd be more likely to kill us all."

"Then what are you doing?" Rose asked.

"I'm buying us time by making it look like I have," the Doctor explained as he returned to using his sonic to piece whatever he was making together. "Which means I need power to run from here to the TARDIS and back again."

"He's lying you know." Rose started as she heard River's voice. The woman was suddenly standing right next to her. Rose glanced around at the others, but Rose still seemed to be the only one that could see her.

"Why would you say that?" Rose asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"He always does." River turned sad eyes on Rose. "Even to you. There are things even the Doctor can't face."

"Rose?!" Rose started and turned her attention back to the Doctor before she could ask what River meant. By the look on the Doctor's face it wasn't the first time he'd said her name. "What are you doing?" he asked.

River had vanished again, slowly echoing out of existence. Rose wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.

"Nothing," she said. The Doctor watched Rose for a moment before returning to his work. Then he shot to his feet, cable in hand.

"Alright then," he said and rushed away again. Rose turned to Lex and Robert. There was no use having them all scramble back and forth after the Doctor.

"Perhaps you could go through what we have and what we can do to defend this place," Rose told them. They both nodded. "I've got a feeling the twins have some ideas," Rose said, glancing at two sets of eyes watching them between the stacks of papers in one of the bookcases. The twins giggled and scurried off. "I'll try and help the Doctor."

So Rose hurried to catch up to him while Robert and Lex went to do as she suggested.

Rose found the Doctor back up in the entrance hall, using the sonic to connect the cable to another one.

"Doctor?" She asked carefully, and he muttered in the affirmative. "Do you really think this will work? Stop them, I mean." The Doctor paused for a second.

"For a while," he said then. "But not forever."

"A day?" Rose asked. "An hour?"

"Once Annabelle decides to lower the shield they'll see power moving from the TARDIS to this church. And as much as I hate that woman she's not a fool. She'll most likely try to rally the forces for a... you know... one of those ground assault things just to be safe."

He held on to the newly attached cable and rushed over to the front doors, pulling one of them opened. The chill wind swept into the room and ruffled his hair. As Rose joined him she felt a chill run down her spine. A chill brought on entirely by fear. There were Angels. Weeping Angels, all over the square. They were stone; their hands held up in front of their eyes as to not risk seeing each other and stay stone forever. It looked a like a graveyard.

"What are they waiting for?" Rose asked. Snow covered several of the Angels, suggesting they had been out there for quite a while.

"Well, it's like Lex said, they can't come in here," the Doctor said. "So I guess they're waiting for someone to come out."

"So where's the TARDIS?" Rose asked. They'd landed in the middle of that square but now it was nowhere to be seen.

"Cloaked her," the Doctor said, holding up the screwdriver. It whirred and the familiar blue box appeared in the midst of about ten Weeping Angels. "And fortified the shields. No one besides us is getting near her."

"Ah... but Doctor...?"

"Yes, Rose." He tossed the cable over his shoulder.

"You're gonna have to plug that into the TARDIS though, yeah?" she asked, pointing at the cable. He nodded. Rose stared in horror at all the Angels between them and the TARDIS. There was no way he could get there without one of them getting him. "Doctor that's impossible."

The Doctor made a face. "Improbable, perhaps," he corrected.

"No," Rose said, shaking her head. "Impossible. Impossible without getting killed."

The Doctor made a move to step outside and Rose clasped his arm, stopping him.

"Doctor, you can't."

"I have to," he told her. "If I don't, Annabelle and the Daleks and... They can blow us up at any moment."

"I don't care," Rose said. "I'm not letting you get yourself killed." The Doctor glared at her.

"What would you have me do then?" he ground out. "Send Robert or Lex? One of the twins? You?"

"Let me." The voice was soft and Rose knew it was River without turning to look. But she didn't know what River could possibly do. She didn't seem to be able to affect the world around her. She wouldn't be able to carry the cable or get into the TARDIS.

Rose glanced back at River over her shoulder. "The angels can see me," River said. "I'm a temporal anomaly much like them. I can make them follow me."

Rose swallowed hard. "Then what happens to you?" Rose asked. "If they catch you?" The look on River's face said what the woman did not voice out loud and Rose shook her head.

"I don't have much time anyway," River insisted. "If I can save him..."

"Rose, who are you talking to?" the Doctor asked in frustration and turned around to look straight at River without seeing her. Rose could tell it broke River's heart. Just as it had on the Emperica when she had looked into the eyes of the man she loved and he had not known her. Rose hadn't quite understood then but she did now.

"No one," Rose said. "Now, get back inside until we come up with an actual plan." Rose pulled a reluctant Doctor a few steps back.

"Rose, there is no other way," he tried to tell her.

"There is," River said, though only Rose could hear her. "I save him."

"You can't," Rose grounded out.

"I'll be fine," the Doctor said.

"It will be fine," River added almost in unison with him. Rose shot River a glare.

"I'm not letting you go until he sees you!" she barked out angrily. Her outburst stumped both the Doctor and River. It even surprised Rose a bit. Just looking at the other woman hurt. Rose should want her as far away as humanly possible. But Rose wasn't doing it for River. She was doing it for the Doctor.

"Rose...?" The Doctor's voice was soft now. "I...I can see her," he said. Rose's gaze snapped back to his in surprise.

"What?" she asked. "River? You see her? You can see River?" He nodded, his eyes unbearably sad while River stared at him as though she wanted nothing more than to slap him into the middle of the next century. "Then why..." Rose trailed off as she understood. She saw it in his eyes. He really had loved her. She had mattered. She had mattered a great deal.

"You bastard." River was marching over, fire in her eyes. The Doctor stopped her hand long before it reached its target. Rose took a step back as she watched his fingers gently encircling River's wrist.

"Of course, I see you," he said without looking at River. He swallowed hard and Rose wished there had been a way to spare him this. He'd lost River once when he didn't know how much it mattered, and now he would lose her again when he knew exactly how much it did.

The Doctor slowly turned his head and met River's fiery gaze, and the minute he did the fire bled out of it.

"How are you even doing that?" River asked, staring at his fingers around her wrist. "I'm not really here. You're not supposed to even see me. I..."

"You're here to me," the Doctor said. "And I can always see you."

"Then why didn't you..." River began, a hint of hurt in her voice. "... say something?"

"I thought it would hurt too much," he told her.

"I'm a big girl," River said and Rose had to bite her lip not to snap at her. How could she not see it was him that was hurting? That he was the one that couldn't bear it?

"Me," the Doctor clarified. "I thought it would hurt me."

He took a shuddering breath as he watched the echo of the woman who had helped hold him together when he'd thought there'd been nothing left to do but fall apart. She'd saved him. Pure and simple. And not just at Lake Silencio or the hundred million other times she'd swooped in with a smile and a 'Hello Sweetie'. Losing Rose would have turned the Doctor into something he'd sworn he'd never be. He would have writhed and fractured until there had been nothing left but the pain. And that would eventually have either killed him or turned him into a monster. Just like Amy, River had helped save him from that. And for that he would be forever grateful.

The Doctor's eyes traced River's face. Even Rose recognized that look as the one where he was barely holding it together. "And I was right," he said and whatever anger had remained in River's eyes left.

"But you have her back," River said with a tear-filled smile. "You have, Rose." The Doctor smiled sadly back at her.

"I don't," he said and the words tore into Rose's heart, making her hands clench into fists. She quickly stuffed them into her pockets so no one would notice. "I'll never have Rose again."

River shook her head. "No, Doctor. You do. Of course you do. Don't be a fool."

The Doctor eased his hold on River's hand, letting it fall slowly from his grasp. The smile he gave her was still sad, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Tears that would most likely never fall. Rose knew he wouldn't let them. Not now and maybe not ever. Because that meant letting go and giving in to all that pain. Last time he'd done that he'd retied the bond, setting both the Doctor and Rose on a path from which there might be no turning back.

"Seems I'll never quite get used to losing the people I love," he said. "I should though, considering all the practice I've had." He stepped back but River caught the sleeve of his coat.

"You haven't lost her," she told him, not for a moment considering that he could be referring to anyone other than Rose. "You never did." But both River and Rose could see on the Doctor's face that he wasn't really hearing what River was telling him. River let him go and he turned to retrieve the cable that seemed to have fallen out of his hands at some point.

"If you go out there now you won't be coming back," River said before scrambling in front of him, putting a hand to his chest and halting him. "Which is why you are going to let me go first." The fierceness had returned to River's gaze. But it was determination now, not anger. "Because saving you means saving her." River nodded towards Rose where she stood with her hands still in her pockets. The Doctor didn't turn to look at her. He stood motionless. "I know how this works, Doctor," River said, her eyes hard on his. "And you might not care whether you live or die but you care if she does."

Rose thought she saw the barest tightening in the Doctor's shoulders. "So you are going to let me lure the angels away first. Isn't that right, Doctor?"

"River..." he tried, shaking his head. "I..."

"You won't put her at risk," River insisted. "You are capable of many things, but not that. She is still Rose Tyler. Thee Rose Tyler. The one woman in all the universes the Doctor would burn down the world for." Rose watched as some soundless agreement occurred between the Doctor and River before River turned away to leave. But at the last minute she spun back around. "Oh, just one more time," she said. "For old time's sake." And she reached up and pulled the Doctor in for a kiss.

Rose closed her eyes so she didn't know if the Doctor kissed River back. She didn't know if he'd reached for her. If he'd moved his lips that same maddening way or stole just a last taste of her. He was entitled, Rose thought. As was River. So Rose could never begrudge them the moment but that didn't mean she had to watch it.

When Rose opened her eyes again she saw River whispering something in the Doctor's ear before she turned and disappeared out the door. The Doctor stared after her for a moment and then he let his head fall. Rose gathered her strength before stepping over to him.

"She was just an echo," Rose said. "She..."

"I know," he interrupted her. He glanced sideways at Rose and something in his eyes made Rose pause before she reached him.

Then the Doctor's gaze shifted away, and he peered out the door River had left opened.

"She did it," he said. "The Angels are gone."

"Doctor..." Rose began.

"Just don't," he interrupted her. Clearly he wasn't interested in what she might say. So Rose followed him out into the biting cold without saying anything else.

Both the Doctor and Rose kept a watchful eye on their surroundings as they hurried over to the TARDIS. Rose's eyes kept darting between the shadows in the tight alleyways fearing that stone angels would come creeping out of the darkness to snap their bones. But they reached the TARDIS without encountering a single angel. River, after all, never did anything by half measure. The Doctor unlocked the door to the TARDIS and hurried inside, the cable slung over his shoulder. After one last glance behind her, Rose rushed in after him.

The Doctor was already at the console, plugging in the cable.

"Doctor..." Rose began again because she felt she really did need to say this if for no other reason than to let him know he was not alone. "I'm sorry." Rose took a few careful steps inside. "About River. I know that you..." She clutched the railing tightly, taking a deep breath. "... loved her." The Doctor halted. He wasn't facing her so all Rose saw was his profile. He stared down at the console for a while then seemed to gather himself as best he could. He reached over and turned a few dials, not saying anything. The cable lit up blue, power pulsing through it which made Rose wonder just how much of a ruse this really was.

Rose had seen the Doctor at his worst. She knew he was capable of great darkness. Not of evil but if necessary he was quite able to cause destruction the likes of which the universe had rarely known. Especially if he was in pain.

"Doctor..." she tried again and he slammed his hands down on the console so hard the loud noise made her jump.

"Stop," he said, grinding the word out between clenched teeth. His head fell forwards, grief twisting his fingers into claws as he curled and uncurled them, wanting to hold onto something but knowing there was nothing. "Just please stop." Rose wouldn't have been able to stand by and do nothing had she wanted to. She could feel his pain. How the grief and guilt squeezed his chest until he could barely breathe.

She let go of the railing and made her way over to him. She caught his hand, every bone and muscle of it hard as stone. He closed his eyes, for what reason Rose didn't know. She took his hand between both of hers, gently uncurling his fingers. She raised it to her face, laying her cheek against his knuckles. She could feel the sparks. The rush of electricity from where skin touched skin but for once it seemed somewhat a distant thing. The mindless bliss of the bond an echo under all the rest. Rose turned her head, letting her lips trail over his fingers, her breath teasing the soft hairs there. Delicate and pale. She felt a shiver run through him. He mumbled something. A plea or a curse Rose wasn't sure. Then he swept her up in his arms, pulling her tightly, desperately to him. His arms enveloped her far slighter form and he buried his face in her hair. They sounded like prayers, Rose thought, whatever he kept mumbling. Prayers for peace. For redemption. Neither of which either of them were likely to ever get.

The Doctor clung to Rose. She wasn't the rock in a roiling sea. They didn't cling to each other to stay above water. They clung to each other so neither would drown alone. Where Rose found the strength to comfort him for the loss of another woman, she didn't know. She knew she owed it to him. Just as River had been owed that last kiss she'd stolen. But the heart didn't always care what it owed. Sometimes it just craved, the concept of debt beyond its understanding.

Rose felt the Doctor's hands clutching desperately at the material of her coat just for a second before he released her. He stepped back. Guilt. That was what he felt. Horrible, gut wrenching guilt.

"We should get back," the Doctor said without looking at her. He shifted away, avoiding her eyes as though having her comfort him had somehow been sinful.

"Are you gonna be alright?" Rose asked because instead of holding on to her he was now holding a lever so tightly his knuckles were beginning to turn white.

"No," he said.

"Is there... anything I can do?"

The Doctor shook his head again. "No," he said, still refusing to look at Rose. "No, not you."

She couldn't help him. Someone else but not her. River perhaps or even Amy but not Rose. Not the girl he thought no longer loved him.

"Alright," Rose said, feeling hurt and scared and doubtful she was able to keep either emotion out of her voice. She backed away, ready to return to the old Church and help the other's prepare. If he'd rather not have her there she wasn't going to object. She couldn't exactly force him to need her.

Rose reached behind her to push opened the door just as the Doctor finally looked up and her eyes irrevocably met his. There was an unbearable measure of sadness within them. She almost took a step towards him before she stopped herself. And once he spoke she was glad she had.

"I was supposed to keep her safe," he said and Rose swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that sprung to her eyes. Because every word he spoke was like a cut. Listening to him talking about River like this was far more difficult than she'd feared. "I promised Amy."

"River loved you," Rose told him, struggling to get the words out. "She was born to be with you. And this was her choice. If she's gone it is not your fault."

"No," the Doctor said, shaking his head. "You don't understand... Rose, I-" But Rose held up a hand, urging him to stop. On some level Rose realized that River might have been far better suited for the Doctor than Rose could ever be. Only the Doctor could fit perfectly with a woman tailored to kill him after all.

"Like you said, we should get back."

And Rose hurried out of the door. As it turned out, she couldn't bear it. She couldn't listen to him talk about River or seeing that heartbreaking look in his eyes over losing her. She needed a moment. Just a moment. But the minute Rose stepped out of the TARDIS she froze. She just managed to stop a scream from tearing out of her throat. She stood face to face with a weeping angel. Its stone features twisted in a snarl, sharp teeth exposed and stone nails like claws reaching towards her. She heard the door open behind her and instinctively turned to warn the Doctor off. She only looked away for a moment. But it was enough.

Rose cried out as stone fingers came around her wrist, tight enough to crush her bones. The Doctor called out in terror as he rushed for her. "Keep looking at it," he told Rose sharply. He flicked the screwdriver into his hand, running it hastily over the angel. "It isn't strong enough to send you back in time," he said. Rose felt water pooled in her eyes at the painful grip the angel had on her, and she remembered the sound of Annabelle Conn's neck snapping in the basement at Torchwood. The stone angel might not be strong enough to send Rose back in time but it was definitely strong enough to kill her.

The Doctor's gaze suddenly shot to the side and Rose knew more angels were coming.

"Doctor, just go," Rose told him.

"They'll kill you," he said, sounding a bit annoyed he had to point that out.

"I'll figure it out." The pain was starting to turn her knees weak.

"I am not leaving you," the Doctor told her sharply.

"Fine," Rose said. "You keep watching the others. Are there others?"

"Not yet," he told her hastily. "But they're coming."

"Keep looking for them," Rose said. "Just keep looking."

Rose breathed in short shallow breaths as she stared at the angel. "Promise you'll keep looking." This was going to hurt. A lot.

"Rose?" She could hear the worry in the Doctor's voice as he said her name. "What are you doing? Rose?!" And then she blinked.

Rose screamed as she felt the bones in her wrist snapping. The angel managed to grab the collar of her coat before Rose had opened her eyes again. Clearly it had been going for her neck but hadn't been quite fast enough. Rose cradled her, now free arm to her chest as she fought not to blink the tears out of her eyes. Her trembling fingers ran swiftly over the front of her coat, unbuttoning it because there was no way she would get it out of the angel's grasp. She felt the Doctor's fingers brushing efficiently over her shoulders, getting the coat off her and all the while she fought not to blink, staring into the cold stone eyes of the snarling angel. The Doctor got a hold of her shoulder, pulling her back.

They stumbled away. Rose's eyes fixed on the angel that now held her coat as if it was simply holding it out for her. There was another angel, right in front of the TARDIS but Rose didn't take her eyes off the one that had broken her wrist, praying the Doctor had an eye on the other one. The Doctor kept pulling her back, neither quite sure of their footing in the snow. When they reached the stairs leading up to the entrance of the old church they both stumbled, falling hard on the stone steps. They lost sight of the angels. Rose scrambled up. In her haste, she put weight on her wrist and it folded under her, pain raking up her arm, making her cry out.

But she flicked her hair out of her eyes, fighting against the agony of her broken bones. The Angels were both a mere few meters away, arms reached out, claws extended towards them. But once again stone. The Doctor pulled Rose to her feet, dragging her with him up the steps. He yanked the door opened and they both tumbled inside, the Doctor kicking the doors shut after them.

They laid there on the floor, both breathing heavily, knowing the angels would at least not follow them inside. Until, the Doctor suddenly shot up. Worried eyes met Rose's as he leaned over her. He got her sitting up before he reached for her broken wrist. Rose reluctantly let him take it carefully between his fingers. His touch sent sparks across her skin, the sensation easing the pain.

"You shouldn't have done that," he muttered.

"Yeah? Should have let the angel kill me then?" Rose remarked. She got a glare from him as he got the sonic out of his pocket, running the green light swiftly over the injury. A flick of his wrist and the claws at the top of the screwdriver extended.

"Your trapezoid, capitate and triquetral bones are shattered," he muttered, pushing the sonic back together and stuffing it in his inner coat pocket.

"So that's why it hurts like hell then," Rose concluded, clenching her jaw. The Doctor gave her a look.

"Yes, I'd say so," he told her, sounding none too happy.

"What happened?"

Both the Doctor and Rose turned, seeing Robert standing in the doorway, looking worried.

"Just a little mishap," Rose said, the Doctor getting to his feet and helping her up with him. "Any medical supplies around?" Rose asked and Robert nodded. He turned to go back downstairs, Rose moving to follow but the Doctor halted her.

"Rose, wait, you could..." he trailed off.

"I could what?" Rose asked him.

"I can help you, you could..." He nodded towards her injured hand.

"Are you suggesting I use the bond?" Rose asked. "You do realize that with us being like... you know, this..." She indicated the both of them. "...I'd be more likely to kill us all." She didn't wait for a reply but left to follow Robert.

"Then I can..." he called after her. "I can use regeneration energy."

"No, you can't," Rose said without pausing.

"I've done it with River."

Rose paused at the top of the stairs. She took a deep breath, trying to force herself not to feel the sting. But she did. She should just continue walking. But it hurt and she couldn't take it. So Rose turned back around as she cradled her broken wrist to her chest.

"Oh, you've done it with River, have you?" Rose asked, not even able to hide the venom in her voice. "Well, go right ahead then. Why don't we just do everything that you and River have done? And while we're on the subject, perhaps you'd like to share some more about what you two have done, yeah? 'Cus I would just love to hear all about how much better it was being with her. How you..." Rose pressed her lips tightly together, forcing herself to stop. The Doctor had just lost someone he really cared about, and Rose yelling at him just because she was hurting wasn't helping. Rose turned back on her heel and stalked off down the stairs.

But if she thought that the Doctor was going to stay behind she was sadly mistaken. She heard his quick steps down the stairs as he followed, and Rose immediately picked up her pace so he wouldn't catch up to her. She already felt bad enough already. Rose reached the basement where she found Robert waiting with a medkit. Robert's eyes widened in trepidation, and Rose was pretty sure there was a storm sweeping into the room behind her. Rose took the medkit from a mute Robert, placing it at a spot on a table that miraculously wasn't covered with charts.

"You can't actually believe that!" the Doctor barked out from behind her. The furious sound of his voice made Robert wisely shrink away. Rose flicked the lid on the medkit up with her uninjured hand. The supplies were rudimentary but there was enough to set her wrist. The Doctor rounded the table, glaring hard at her. "Yes, I loved River," he told her, and Rose was a hairsbreadth away from screaming. So she bit her lip and somehow managed to stay quiet. "I loved her and I just let her down. I let Amy down because I promised that I would keep her daughter safe but instead I let her die. Again!"

Rose looked through the supplies hastily. With the limited equipment there was little hope in getting the bones to heal right, but it was better than nothing. Certainly better than risking all their lives, or the Doctor giving up ten years or more of his.

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel, Rose!" the Doctor shouted at her.

Rose wasn't looking at him. She stayed focused on picking through the medical supplies. She couldn't look at him. If she did she might just fall apart. Until the Doctor grabbed the medkit and threw it away so she had no choice. It fell into a mess on the floor. Rose took a couple of deep breaths before she raised her head. He was livid; his eyes alighted with anger and hurt. Rose said nothing.

"I let her sacrifice herself so you'd be safe," the Doctor said darkly.

"So you're blaming me then?"

"No, of course not," he refuted immediately.

"Then what?"

"River is gone, Rose. She's gone! Don't you get it? I should mourn her but I can't. I can't because all I can think about is you."

Rose squeezed her eyes shut, for a moment feeling the world spin before her. She didn't know what to say. Didn't know what to do. It seemed as though they just kept tumbling down, down deeper into the darkness and there was no way to stop it. No way out. And the bottom line is that they'd both known. That night they'd spent together had sealed their fate. And this time they couldn't claim ignorance.

"I'm sorry about River, Doctor. Really I am," Rose managed to get out. "But you knew that with the bond...-"

"This isn't about the bond, damn you!" he barked out, interrupting her before she could finish. "River might have been born to be with me..." Rose knew the Doctor saw her flinch at that because he became quiet for a moment. "But Rose..." he said his voice suddenly soft. Soft but horribly sad. She felt his hand against the side of her face, his fingers in her hair. Careful. Gentle. "...I was made for loving you," he said, his voice a broken whisper. "It's all I know how to do." Rose kept her eyes shut, not sure she was brave enough to face him. "No matter what happens," he was saying and she could feel his breath on her face. "In the end all I know how to do is love you."

Rose finally opened her eyes and immediately they found his. They were bare and opened in a way she'd not seen them in a long time. I need you, they seemed to say. Please, I need you. Be with me. Stay with me. Rose reached up with her uninjured hand, placing at above his. She wanted to say, yes. Yes of course she would.

But then suddenly Lex burst into the room.

"They're coming!" he announced. Robert appeared out of the shadows and both Rose and the Doctor straightened, quickly pulling apart.

"How many?" the Doctor asked, hastily schooling his features to reveal nothing.

"All of them," Lex said. "I'm pretty sure it's all of them."

"Alright then, make sure you have lookouts up in that tower," the Doctor told Lex as he rubbed his hands together. "Robert, you make sure the cable stays secure. You-" He pointed at Lex. "- arm the traps. There are traps right?" Lex nodded. "Well then, very good. I shall go and greet our guests." And he straightened his bowtie while Lex rushed off to do his bidding.

Rose retrieved the scattered medical supplies from the floor and the Doctor actually made it a couple of steps before he stopped and twirled back around.

"Go on," Rose told him, straightening and placing the box back on the table. "I have to set this." She returned to her broken wrist. But the Doctor didn't leave.

"Go," Rose repeated impatiently and snatched up a tube of setting-cream and a roll of bandage out of the box. The setting-cream would harden and work much like a cast and that was quite enough.

"Rose..."

"I told you to go." Rose applied the cream hastily over her injured wrist. The Doctor came back over to her.

"I don't think..." he said, catching her wrist and being far more careful than she had been. "...I've ever met someone as stubborn as you." He finished applying the cream.

"I can do that myself," Rose pointed out. The Doctor glanced up at her.

"Oh, I know," he said taking up the roll of bandage. The cream hardened and the Doctor wrapped the bandage around it in quick, practiced motions. Rose didn't argue further. "This is foolish," he pointed out. "It's never going to heal right."

The Doctor secured the bandage but let his fingers linger. He ran them slowly along hers. It was such a small touch but it rippled through Rose's blood, spreading to every inch of her body, urging her to surrender to the promise of it.

"Didn't you have somewhere to be?" Rose reminded him. The Doctor drew in a deep breath, his fingers tightening around hers for a moment.

"War. Yes. Right." He nodded, reluctantly releasing her. "Things to do." He looked up and held her gaze rather intently. "You and I are not done," he said. No, Rose imagined they were not. But right now there really wasn't time. Annabelle and her army were here. War was coming.

As if on cue the whole building suddenly shook. Both Rose and the Doctor froze and stared up at the ceiling.

"Knock, knock," Rose remarked.

"Just couldn't wait, could they," the Doctor muttered as he reluctantly turned away from her and headed off up the narrow staircase. Rose scrambled to follow. They made their way up into the entrance hall and walked over to the front doors.

The Doctor suddenly held out his hand between them. Rose didn't take it straight away, but looked up at him in question. He gave her a half smile.

"Together?" he said. Rose nodded solemnly.

"Together," she confirmed, taking his hand. They pushed the doors opened, and the minute they did, the cold, winter wind caught them. The doors slammed against the outer walls, and snow hit both Rose and the Doctor's faces like small shards of ice. Dawn seemed to be brewing on the horizon, and filling the small town square was a nightmare.

Rose had seen her share of armies in her days. She'd seen ones that had struck fear into her heart, that had caused people to run or scream or simply beg for their lives before the battle had even begun. The force in front of them was not worse than those long past because of its size. It wasn't that large. What was terrifying was that it seemed to be compiled of a handful of all the worst ones Rose had ever seen.

There were Slitheens and Sontarans; there were Weeping Angels and the armies of the Church of the Papal Mainframe; there were Cybermen; and there were Daleks. At the head of these, Annabelle Conn stood in her blood red dress with her deformed sister at her side with the two twisted Daleks flanking them. It was an army not conjured out of hell but out of the Doctor and Rose's worst nightmare. It was all the things in the universe worth fearing.

"This is your final chance!" Annabelle shouted at them. "Leave!"

For a while the Doctor said nothing, just surveyed the threat before them. It wasn't an invading force, not yet an army. They'd come to scare them. A taste of what could come should they chose to stand against them.

"We won't leave," the Doctor said then, his voice far calmer than Annabelle's had been.

"THEN YOU WILL BE DELETED!" One of the Cybermen declared. Rose hadn't seen which one.

"The shield is down!" Annabelle announced. "We will blow this place into nothing!"

"YOU WILL BE EX-TERMINATED!" One of the Daleks promised and other Daleks joined in until they were all screaming "EXTERMINATE" in the most horrible battle cry Rose thought she'd ever heard.

"You won't destroy anything," the Doctor called out, silencing the Daleks. It was strange. Though Rose knew the Daleks hated the Doctor more than anything else in the universe, they had always treated him with a strange kind of fear filled respect. "Because you don't know what I've done with that crack in space and time." At this Annabelle glanced at her sister.

Elsa had murder in her eyes. She wanted blood, Rose could see it. She doubted this clone had all that much in common with its original. Dr. Elsa Conn had been mad and cruel but Rose couldn't remember bloodlust as part of her character. But perhaps given some more time this is what she would have become.

"Enough talking!" One of the Sontarans shouted. "We shall eradicate you from the face of this planet!"

"No, wait," Annabelle growled at the Sontaran. She turned back towards the Doctor and Rose where they stood in the opening to the old stone church, their fingers entwined and facing a force they alone could never beat. "What did you do?" she asked. Annabelle wasn't stupid. She knew not to trifle with the Doctor. Rose suspected they all knew that on some level. They had all learned it at one time or another.

"I connected the energy of the rift to the Eye of Harmony inside the TARDIS," the Doctor explained. At the mention of this some of the Daleks actually seemed to shift uncomfortably.

"Which means?" Elsa Conn drawled.

"Which means..." the Doctor began, "...that should you blow this planet up or, in fact blow anything up it will start a chain reaction that will obliterate the lot of you!" His voice rose to a shout as he glared at them all. "I will destroy you before I let you destroy them!"

"Need I remind you, you would be destroying yourself as well," Annabelle pointed out. "... and Rose," she added. The Doctor glanced at Rose beside him and she gave him a reassuring smile. She was with him. Always.

"I know," he said without taking his eyes off Rose.

"You're bluffing," Elsa Conn said.

The Doctor turned calmly towards her. He stared at her for a moment before he let his gaze run past Annabelle to the Sontarans and the Cybermen and even across the stone faces of the Weeping Angels, to fasten on the Daleks.

"Am I?" he asked them. When there was no reply he screamed, "Am I!?" Immediately the Daleks shifted backwards. Just a few inches, but their instinct was felt across the whole square.

"THE DO-CTOR IS THE PRE-DATOR," one of the Daleks said in its horrible mechanical voice.

"THE ON-COMING STO-RM," another added. Clearly the Daleks were once again very aware of just who the Doctor was.

"THE DE-STROYER OF WO-RLDS."

"You stupid tin cans!" Annabelle spat at the Daleks. "He is only one man!"

"They know him better than you, Annabelle," Rose warned her. Annabelle turned on Rose, moving in that stilted way of hers.

"No," Annabelle said. "They know the warrior but I know the man." She held out her hand and one of the clerics placed a weapon in it. "And in the end the man is what will matter." She raised the gun, the clerics raising theirs with her and they fired.

One simple yank of his arm and the Doctor had Rose behind him. Bullets whisked past them as they both stumbled inside the old church. The clerics were advancing forward. Rose's hand slipped out from the Doctor's as they both threw themselves to either side of the opened doors.

"Lex! Now!" the Doctor screamed. Cries of surprise were heard from outside, and the gunfire momentarily ceased. The Doctor and Rose took one look at each other, silently agreeing and then they both reached for the doors, pulling them shut.

The war was here. It was quite literally beating down their door. Every creature they'd ever faced united against them. Rose wasn't sure if Annabelle was wrong in her beliefs. If stopping the Time Lords from returning would prevent a war that would rage across the stars leaving nothing but darkness in its wake. But she did know that it was not Annabelle Conn's choice to make. It was the Doctor's, and he had made his position clear. He was going to stand guard until it was safe for his race to return. And Rose, she would stand with him as she always had even when he'd not known it.


	65. Chapter 65 - Beautiful ruin

Chapter 65 – Beautiful ruin

Rose ducked just in time as shots blew past right above her head. They tore into the rough stone of the old house, rocks raining down on her as she covered her head with her arms.

"DELETE! DELETE!" rang mercilessly between the houses. Rose sprung to her feet just as she saw metal men coming into the alley. More shots were fired at her. She dodged but lost her footing, slamming into a weak wooden door. The hinges broke, sending her tumbling into the house. Rose scrambled up off the floor, running before she could even hear the Cybermen enter after her. She crashed through another door, ending up in a kitchen. There was a bench to the left, and Rose grabbed the edge, pulling it with some effort in front of the door to block the way. It wouldn't hold them for long, but hopefully it would slow them down. Rose twirled around, quickly realising she needed to do more than slow the Cybermen down because there were no more doors leading out of the kitchen.

"DELETE!"

Rose's gaze flew to the door just as a shot splintered the wood. She ducked as those splinters flew, instinctively shielding her eyes. And then she was running again. She ran for the kitchen sink, reaching over it and unlatching the window that seemed to be the only way out. She pushed it opened as another shot destroyed more of the door. Rose climbed into the sink, hastily peaking out into the cold winter air. But she quickly pulled her head back.

Slitheen. Two of them. Rose took a couple of deep breaths. Then what was left of the door blew apart, and the Cybermen pushed the insignificant piece of furniture she'd used to block the door out of the way. They took aim, and Rose jumped out of the window. She landed on her feet in a crouched position. The Slitheen spun as they heard her landing. Both raised their long, clawed arms and Rose rolled out of the way a second before they would have shredded her. She shot back on her feet as fast as she could, the cries of the two Slitheen following her as she ran again.

The houses were squeezed tightly together, the alleys between them dark and narrow. It was nearly always dark on this planet because apparently the sun only rose for a few minutes before setting again. Another quirk was that it was always winter. Always snow. Always cold.

Rose threw herself down another alley and she heard one of the Slitheen crashing behind her as it couldn't take the narrow turn. Then suddenly Rose heard a familiar voice shouting her name. A displeased but familiar voice.

"Rose!? Where is that damn girl? Rose!" She paused, trying to judge where the sound of his voice was coming from. "Rose!"

A gurgling snarl rose behind her and she swirled around to find one of the Slitheen making its way towards her. She got ready to run again, but before she got the chance two Cybermen marched into the alley ahead of her. Not good. Rose spun, trying to find some way out. She groaned as she spotted a potential one. It was a section of logs stored right next to a house, logs for a hearth to keep the house warm in winter. They were covered in snow and ice and scrambling up them wouldn't be easy. But there was no other way. She needed to get to the roof if she was going to escape. So Rose scrambled up the logs and immediately felt them shift beneath her feet. There was no time for her to pause, no time to regain her footing, she just rushed on. By some miracle she managed not to fall. She reached the roof. Rose grabbed the edge with ice cold fingers. She pulled herself unto it as her injured wrist screamed out in protest. She heard the crack and feared the cast broke but there was no time to check it. She clutched her wrist to her chest, cursing herself for not being more careful. A couple of deep breaths later she dared a glance down.

The two Cybermen stood, looking up at her from the ground below. Thankfully they were not agile enough to follow. They were however quite capable of shooting her from where they stood. They raised their arms and aimed their weapons. Rose rolled away from the edge as a couple of shots singed past her. She scrambled to her feet, slipping a bit on the ice covering the roof.

"Rose!" she heard him shout again. Closer now. Definitely closer. Rose ran across the roof as fast as she could without falling. The houses being so tightly built made it easy to jump from one to the next.

"Rose!" She desperately followed the sound of his voice, inwardly smiling as it got more and more cross by the minute.

Rose slipped to a stop and stared down at the ground below. There he stood. Dark hair, ruffled by the wind, hands on hips and glaring around at all the buildings as though they were all personally responsible for his current predicament. He was muttering to himself, and then he reached up to straighten his bowtie. Rose smiled and called out before he had chance to stride off.

"Hey Doctor, wanna make some snow-angels?" He stopped and spun around, his eyes shot up to hers as though he suddenly knew exactly where she was. His lips immediately spread in a smile but it slipped away as quickly as it had appeared.

"Behind you!" he shouted.

Rose ducked as the Slitheen she had not seen following her nearly tore her to pieces with one blow. But the sudden move made her slip over the edge, falling off the roof. She hit her hip as she tumbled off, desperately reaching out for a handhold. Somehow, she managed to grab a hold of the ledge. Her bare fingers hurt as they clutched the icy roof, and her damaged wrist quickly losing the strength to hold her at all. The Slitheen loomed over her, raising its arm to strike.

"Rose!" the Doctor shouted. Rose tore her gaze away from the Slitheen and glanced down at him.

"Let go! I'll catch you." Rose closed her eyes and immediately let go. She heard the Slitheen cry out in frustration as she fell through the air. The Doctor caught Rose easily. She blinked her eyes opened, finding herself looking up into the Doctor's.

"Hello," he said, smiling down at her.

"Hello." She smiled back. He made no attempt to put her down, seemingly content with just standing there holding her in his arms for the moment.

"Eh, Doctor?" Rose asked, thinking to alert him to their current situation. "Slitheen." She pointed her finger up and his gaze shot to the snarling Slitheen on the roof, getting ready to jump down and possibly crush them both.

"Oh, right." The Doctor set Rose down, careful to take her uninjured hand and pulled her with him. They heard the Slitheen as it landed in the snow behind them and gave chase.

"Did you secure the TARDIS?" Rose asked, out of breath.

"Yes, of course," the Doctor replied, pulling her quickly to the side to run down another alley. "Rather surprised they almost made it through the shields."

"But she's safe now?" Rose wanted to know.

"Yes, yes." The Doctor took another quick turn, Rose following easily.

Suddenly, they burst out into the square, both pausing for a second. The Weeping Angels were always around, like the stone angels in a graveyard, silently watching the death and destruction. Their numbers varied but they rarely involved themselves in the fighting. They just seemed to stand in the square or hide in the dark. Waiting. But for what that might be, Rose had no idea. So what was far more troubling at the moment was the whole platoon of Sontarans the milled around the square. They had made an attempt on the TARDIS, trying to get through the shields. Cybermen, Sontarans and even Slitheen working together, who would ever have thought?

One of them kicked at something on the ground before he looked up, straight at Rose and the Doctor.

"Enemy located," he announced as he raised his weapon. The others turned immediately and once again they were being shot at.

The Doctor quickly dragged Rose with him behind a building, pulling her up against him, her back to his chest. Unluckily for the Slitheen it was not as quick. They both stared in horror as the big alien crashed to the ground, shot by friendly fire. Even though Rose had no fond memories of the Slitheen, she found no joy in seeing it die. She squeezed her eyes shut.

The Doctor's arms were wrapped tightly around Rose. She focused on his hands on her, the way the touch hummed through her. She felt his breath stir a few tendrils of hair, tickling her ear and she instinctively relaxed against him. She felt the rapid dual beats of his hearts against her back and the beats provided further comfort. Soon their breathings matched up. It was always like this. The closer they got the more in sync they became.

Rose fought the urge to turn around. She wanted nothing more than to hold on to him the way he held on to her, but she didn't dare for fear that she might ruin the moment. There were very few moments like this. There'd been a whole week of everything else. Of war. Of battling assault after assault. There had been no time for calm or rest. It was constant running, planning, fighting.

"Rose." His voice was soft. Soft enough that for a second she was unsure if he said her name out loud. "We have to go."

Definitely out loud, Rose concluded. The way it felt to hear him speak inside her mind was very particular. It wasn't just words popping up. She could feel his mind brushing against hers, soft and kind and always a little uncertain of his welcome. But it had been a long time since she'd felt that now. They were still linked by the bond, and Rose could still get a sense of his emotional state most of the time. But to speak telepathically required something more.

Rose opened her eyes and listened. She realised she couldn't hear anything. No gunshots, no shouting, nothing.

"Did it work?"she asked the Doctor, turning around and reluctantly feeling his arms slip from her.

"I'd say probably," he said, and they both peaked out beyond the corner and into the square. The large Sontaran force was lying on the ground. Big groups of stocky blue soldiers.

"Are they dead?" Rose asked, swallowing hard.

"No, that one moved," the Doctor said, pointing at one of them and smiling. It took a while to spot the one he meant. The Sontaran's leg twitched and Rose spotted another whose arm did the same. "Just knocked out," he concluded.

Beneath the town were old tunnels. Hundreds of them, reaching out well beyond the town lines like a spiderweb. Of course, the twins Mischief and Mayham, Mis and May for short, knew them like the back of their hands. All through the tunnels ran electrical lines that had once probably provided electricity to the whole region but had now been out of use for centuries. Hardly anyone had even known the tunnels existed according to Robert. But with a bit of tinkering from the Doctor they had managed to turn the square into one giant electrical conductor. And by the look of the unconscious Sontarans it had worked splendidly.

"We should hurry though, before they wake up," the Doctor said, slipping out from behind the house.

"Is it safe?" Rose asked as she hurried after him.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed while they navigated between the fallen Sontarans. "Only enough power for one big charge. It would only have lasted about a second."

There had been Angels in the square before but Rose could see none now. It made her a bit nervous, thinking they were hiding in the shadows. Waiting. One Sontaran suddenly flipped over right next to Rose. She jumped in surprise. The helmets they wore during battle made it impossible to tell if he was conscious or not.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered sharply. Like keeping their voices down was going to help.

"It moved." Rose pointed at the Sontaran.

"Come on." The Doctor made a motion with his arm for her to hurry with him, and Rose did not need to be told twice. She rushed to his side. But as she did more Sontarans began moving and flopping about. Most of them looked like fish on dry land as they struggled to get their limbs so function.

"Ok, they're waking up now," Rose said. The Doctor grabbed her hand.

"Run."

And they ran, zigzagging between piles of the Sontaran soldiers. The Doctor jumped over the last Sontaran before they reached the old church. But the Sontaran's arm shot up, snaring the Doctor's foot midair and causing him to tumble to the ground, taking Rose with him. Thankfully Rose was quickly back up again. But the Sontaran had latched on to the Doctor's foot and no matter how much he kicked and fought it wouldn't let him go. So Rose scrambled over and kicked the probic vent at the back of the Sontaran's neck. Weak point. Stunned, it released the Doctor. He hastily got back on his feet, and both he and Rose ran for the old church again. They dashed up the stairs. The doors flung wide open before they reached them.

"Hurry!" Both Robert and Lex called as they held the doors opened. Rose and the Doctor blew past them, back into safety. Robert and Lex pulled the doors shut, bolting it.

"Did it work?" Lex immediately asked.

"I'd say judging from the many half-conscious Sontarans it worked splendidly," the Doctor pointed out, his breathing laboured from all the running.

"Not the electrical surge," Robert said with a hint of exasperation.

"Yeah, that we saw," Lex said. "We meant the plan. Did you fix the shields on your ship?"

"Of course, I did," the Doctor said indignantly, fixing his bowtie. Rose was doubled over, trying to catch her breath. "What do you take me for?"

Lex and Robert just smiled; they were both used to the Doctor's bragging by now.

The Doctor looked over at Rose. "Next time I'm the bait," he told her.

Rose gave him a smile."No arguments from me," she said, her tongue peaking out between her teeth. The Doctor grinned back at her. Rose put her hands to her knees and pushed herself up straight. The action made a sliver of pain shoot through her wrist. She drew in a hiss of breath and ran her fingers hastily over the cast. As she suspected, she'd cracked it when she'd climbed up on that roof.

"Rose?" She looked up and found the Doctor watching her. "What's wrong?" Rose shook her head, dropping her arm.

"I bro...ah...," she said, grinding her teeth. Bloody truth field. "It's really alright," she said instead because it was. She wasn't going to die from a couple of broken bones.

But the Doctor came over, reaching for her wrist, and Rose moved it away. He gave her a raised eyebrow look.

"It's fine," she insisted. He watched her for a moment, clearly deliberating whether it was worth arguing with her. Rose gave him a pointed glare, hoping it was enough to convince him of the futility of such an effort. Surprisingly, it seemed to come across and the Doctor stepped back without comment.

"So then," The Doctor twirled around, clapping his hands together. "How are things looking?" he asked Robert and Lex.

Robert began explaining that the twins had some crazy idea about blowing something up. Which meant it was most likely the girl, May's idea. She was overly fond of just setting things on fire in general while her brother was a bit more reserved on the matter. They began walking towards the stairs leading down to the basement while the Doctor told them that they couldn't go about blowing things up since he'd told Annabelle Conn that any little explosion would cause a chain reaction that would blow a hole in the universe. Rose still didn't know how much of a bluff that was. Lying after all was one thing, creative truth telling another. And the Doctor was exceedingly good at the latter.

Robert and Lex headed down the stairs but the Doctor stopped, glancing back over his shoulder at Rose where she had remained behind.

"Coming?" he asked.

"You go on ahead," Rose told him. "I have to see to... things." His gaze flickered down to her bandaged wrist for a telling second but then he shrugged and left. Rose breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't in the mood to have another argument about how best to deal with injuries.

Right next to the stairs to the basement was another set leading up. Rose took those, making her way up to a room she'd been sleeping in, when she had the time to sleep that is. There were rooms for the twins, Lex and Robert up there too. The Doctor, she wasn't sure had slept yet, and if he had she had no idea where. Time Lords didn't need it as much as humans after all. A fact he always enjoyed pointing out.

Rose didn't bother to close the door behind her. It was a very simple room, just a bed, which was more of a cot really, standing in the far corner. She hunkered down next to it and pulled out the tube of setting- cream underneath it. It was the second time she'd broken the cast. She was pretty sure she'd gotten away with fixing it without the Doctor noticing before but had thought it best to have the cream handy in case it happened again.

Rose unwrapped the bandage as she sat down on the edge of the bed. The crack ran nearly all along the cast which made it easy to remove. As she did she paused. Her wrist was horribly black and blue. The fresh bruises bloomed over her skin and covering older ones that had begun to turn yellow. Looking at it she was pretty sure the Doctor was right. Her wrist was never going to heal properly at the rate she was going. But what else was she to do? She couldn't sit on the sidelines because of a broken wrist.

"How bad is it?"

Rose's gaze shot up and she found the Doctor standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded across his chest.

"It's really not that bad," Rose said immediately, turning a little away from him. It still wouldn't kill her after all.

He pushed away from the doorjamb and sauntered over, sitting down on the bed opposite her. Rose reluctantly let him take her wrist, his fingers soft and careful. She fought the impulse to close her eyes and enjoy the sensation of feeling his skin against hers. It far surpassed any pain she felt. The Doctor raised her hand up to his face, scrutinising the break.

"You can put that... stuff on this again," the Doctor said, nodding towards the tube of cream. "But you'll most likely be in pain for the rest of your life if it heals like this. The fracture is too complex. You need surgery."

"Know any good Doctors?" Rose asked. The Doctor glanced over at her and she could tell he struggled not to smile at her attempt at humour.

"Shouldn't have let you be the bait," he said instead. "I should have taken you with me to the TARDIS. She has the equipment to fix this." He ground his teeth. "I just didn't realise how bad it was."

"And who should have gone instead then?" Rose pointed out. "Robert? They would have caught him within two seconds."

"Robert is quicker than he looks."

"Lex might have been able to do it but the kid's fifteen years old, Doctor," Rose continued, ignoring his comment. "You don't want his death on your conscience anymore than I do."

"I don't want your death on my conscience," the Doctor said, his focus returning to her wrist.

"I'll make sure I won't die then," Rose said with a bit too much flippancy. The Doctor's gaze shot up to hers. "Sorry," she quickly assured.

"How about we just don't joke about anyone dying," the Doctor suggested. "Least of all you, alright?"

"Right." The Doctor rolled his eyes. "What?" Rose asked. She had agreed after all.

"Could you just please take anything regarding you safety or your health seriously?" he asked.

"Oh, really?" Rose teased. "Like you do with yours?"

"What do you mean? I take everything seriously. I'm always serious." Rose raised her eyebrows at him as to say: oh really?

"Well, I am when it matters," he said, carefully holding up her broken wrist for her to see. Rose took it back, holding it to her chest.

"Yes, but a broken wrist isn't going to kill me is it," she pointed out.

"No," he agreed. "But not being able to use your hand that might."

The Doctor got to his feet.

"Come on," he said, pulling Rose gently up with him.

"What are we doing?" Rose asked a little confused. The Doctor took Rose's uninjured hand in his.

"We are fixing that break," he said walking towards the door. Rose allowed him to pull her along. "But if we attempt it anywhere near a bed I'm afraid it might not end well."

"I think our idea of 'well' differs then," Rose said under her breath. But by the look the Doctor gave her over his shoulder, he'd heard her perfectly.

/

\- The Flagship of the Papal Mainframe -

"The Sontarans were knocked out by an electrical charge," Elsa said as she came into her sister's chambers. "No casualties for the Sontarans but one for the Slitheen."

Annabelle Conn came out from behind a set of heavy velvet tapestries. They concealed the way to her private chambers. Her back remained ramrod straight, but her crooked and bent fingers were clutching at her midsection.

"Like I would care if the potatoheads turned into toast," she muttered. "Did they get his ship?"

Annabelle's face twisted in pain for a moment. It was an expression no one saw but Elsa. Annabelle would never allow anyone else to. To the rest of the ship, the Mother Superious was a strong and cunning woman, clever enough to defy death itself.

"No," Elsa said. "The girl, Agent Tyler, created some diversion giving the Doctor time to get the ship's shields back up. The Sontarans and the Cybermen estimate it would take centuries to get through it now."

"Good. We don't want that ship in either of their hands." Annabelle moved slowly across the room. "I think my second kidney is failing." She made it over to a chair as big and luxurious as any throne and sank down into it.

"I'll gladly offer...-" Elsa began.

"Don't be a fool," Annabelle interrupted. "You already gave me one and you're no use to me dead." Annabelle leaned her head back and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Communications are still off?" Annabelle asked and Elsa nodded.

"If you want to talk to the Doctor you'll have to go down there."

"I need him to trust me," Annabelle said. "I had hoped convincing him of our good intentions and suggesting saving Agent Tyler would be enough at first but something's wrong with them." Annabelle looked thoughtful for a moment. "I was sure he had forgiven her for leaving, being that bond is clearly active again. But something is off."

"You think he would no longer sacrifice everything for her?" Elsa asked.

"I don't know," Annabelle admitted. "I would have known for sure if Agent Tyler hadn't escaped."

Annabelle winced again. She was clearly in a lot of pain. Elsa wanted to help her. It was her very first and most important purpose. She knew that. It was why she'd been born the first time and why she'd been created the second.

"Have the clerics found the tunnels yet?" Annabelle asked.

"No," Elsa answered. "Not yet, but they're close." Annabelle struggled up and out of the chair again, her motions stilted and painful. But Elsa knew that remaining idle would only make the pain worse.

"Send the Daleks once they have," Annabelle told Elsa. "They've been little use this past week and we need to put pressure on the Doctor if this is going to go our way."

"Yes, sister," Elsa said with a nod of her head. Annabelle halted.

"Don't call me that." Annabelle shook her finger at Elsa. "You are not my sister. My sister is long dead." Elsa nodded again. Despite the fact that she knew she wasn't really Annabelle Conn's sister she sometimes felt like she was. Like the pair of them shared a history Elsa couldn't quite remember.

There was a careful knock on the door. Annabelle gave Elsa a nod and she walked over and pulled the heavy door opened. Beyond it stood one of the clerics, his gaze flickering from side to side and looking decidedly nervous. Elsa glanced at what was causing the behavior. Her two special Daleks were positioned on either side. Annabelle had wanted them destroyed when they'd been unable to perfect them. But there was something about their rather grotesque imperfections that appealed to Elsa. She thought them quite beautiful.

"Yes?" Elsa prodded the cleric.

The man, who looked to be more of a boy really, managed to focus his gaze on Elsa instead. But his gaze immediately caught on to Elsa's dead left eye. She understood many thought it ugly or even terrifying. The boy seemed to be thinking both.

"Um..." he stuttered.

"If you don't speak I'll feed you to my pets," Elsa told him, indicating the two Daleks. If possible the boy turned even paler. He licked his lips nervously but managed to gather his courage.

"They've found the tunnels," he said. Elsa's lips twisted in a smile.

"The Mother Superious will be pleased."

The boy gave Elsa a salute before hurrying off. Elsa watched him go. Weak, she thought. She would make sure he was on the front lines so they would be rid of him quickly.

She turned back to Annabelle, who had been pacing slowly back and forth to keep herself in motion.

"They found the tunnels, sister," Elsa said.

Annabelle stopped and looked up. A smile that was eerily similar to the one Elsa saw in the mirror everyday curved her lips.

"Excellent," she said, not remarking this time on the fact that Elsa had once again called her sister. "I need to speak with the Dalek fleet. They have their way in."

/

The Doctor closed the door to Rose's room and led her down the hallway.

"Doctor, I know what you're thinking and you know we can't do that."

"Yes, we can."

"No, we can't. We can't risk it. We're not..." The Doctor pushed opened a squeaky old door with big rusty hinges. The stairs behind it were dark and narrow. They led up to the bell tower. "... good," Rose finished lamely as she reluctantly followed him simply because she didn't know what else to do. Her wrist was throbbing now, and she was no longer able to move her fingers. She wasn't so stubborn that she didn't realise they had to do something or her hand would be useless.

They walked up the stairs and the Doctor took her out into the open air. Besides the big bell, there were all manner of gadgets placed around the square space: scanners and radars to detect approaching enemies. Things the twins had helped the Doctor build. The Doctor sat down with Rose on a blanket spread out right next to the bell. Surely he hadn't been sleeping up here in the cold, Rose thought, as she looked around. But where else would he be but up on the highest point watching over them all?

"Rose." The Doctor drew her attention instantly back to him.

"I'm really not sure about this," Rose said, doubtfully.

"Not many other choices," he told her, glancing down at her arm that was looking decidedly worse by the minute. Rose shivered in the cold winter air, the chill making her broken bones ache even worse. The Doctor reached behind him, getting something big and clumsy looking. He placed it next to them and pressed a couple of buttons and it hummed to life, warmth immediately radiating off the haphazard device. So that was how he stayed warm, Rose thought. "Do you still remember how to do this?" he asked, turning back towards her. She nodded, not looking at him. The Doctor placed a finger under her chin, urging her face up and her eyes to meet his. She trembled at the contact.

"You can do this," he said. "We can do this. You just have to let me in." Reluctantly Rose gave him another nod.

The Doctor's fingers slipped from her chin and he reached up, placing a hand on either side of her face, his fingertips gently touching her temples. The Doctor closed his eyes and immediately she felt him there, right at the edge of her mind. There was nothing quite like allowing the Doctor inside her head. It was about the most intimate thing she knew.

"Rose," she heard him murmur softly. "Relax."

"I'm trying."

"No, you are not." Rose took another deep breath, struggling to ease the tension in her muscles at least. "You have to trust me," he said. "Just close the doors to the things you don't want me to see. I won't look. I promise."

Rose allowed him entry into her mind but not by choice. She had to force herself to do it and she knew straight away that the Doctor could tell.

"Rose, no..." he began and Rose felt a tremble move through the tips of his fingers.

"Just do it," Rose said. "It's fine. Just be quick."

Rose held the mental walls she'd spent years building, down by sheer force of will, praying she was strong enough to keep control. She felt the Doctor's mind carefully touching upon hers. It was usually a pleasant experience. But this time it wasn't because a part of her couldn't stop fighting it. It wasn't that she feared the things he'd see. She was afraid she'd lose control, not trusting he would help keep her balanced. Rose struggled to remain relaxed but her head had begun to throb and her hand soon clenched into a fist, her nails digging into her palm. Then suddenly the Doctor was gone.

Rose opened her eyes and found him standing, his hands on his hips, watching her. He shifted his weight back and forth from foot to foot.

"I can't," he said. He shifted again, folding his arms across his chest and hunching forwards. "Not when you don't want me to. It would... it wouldn't be safe."

Rose struggled to her feet, holding her arm carefully to her chest to not risk injuring it further.

"Doctor, I can't keep doing this with a broken wrist," she told him. "We have to do something."

The Doctor watched her for a moment but then shook his head again.

"I can't do that to you," he said. "Not that. You have to let me."

"I am," Rose said. "As much as I can. I think it's going to have to do."

"You don't understand," he ground out, taking a step towards her. "With the way you're fighting it, it is going to hurt."

"Fine," Rose said.

"No, not fine, Rose. Not fine."

"Doctor, I can take it."

"We've never done anything like this before Rose. You won't even be able to control what I see."

"Fine," Rose said again and the Doctor looked at her like she was mad. "I can do it. If you help me. I can," she assured, except her voice trembled.

Truth was she wasn't sure at all. But they had to do something. And it was either forcibly allowing him inside her head or allowing him entrance on instinct. Engage her heart, as he'd once said. But there was no chance he was up for that. In fact he'd probably rather sacrifice ten years of his life by using regeneration energy to heal the bones.

Rose took a breath in order to make sure her voice was steadier. "I didn't always have the bracelet," she said. This was true. She hadn't had the bracelet after he'd said he'd be back in five minutes. She had made it through that. She could make it through this. "And if I lose control. You'll take care of it, yeah?"

"Rose, I don't..." the Doctor's fingers shook as he brushed a strand of hair out of his eye. "We can't keep doing this," he said. Rose caught his hand. He twitched at the contact.

"Doctor, it's alright. Just try. I can't do it on my own. You know I can't." She guided his hand back to her temple. "Just try." He stared at her as his fingers brushed her skin. "It's like you said, the break won't kill me but not being able to use my hand might."

"Rose, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm tough," Rose said and gave him a smile. He didn't smile back.

"Just try to relax," he said, his voice strained. Rose nodded. She closed her eyes and tried but the minute his mind touched hers she knew she failed. Because it did hurt. The Doctor let Rose go immediately. He shook his head frantically.

"No," he said. "No, no, no. I can't Rose. Don't ask me to do this."

Entering someone's mind without their permission was considered one of the highest crimes. To the Doctor it wasn't just a crime it was unthinkable. Rose opened her eyes and looked at him. "Just trust me," he asked of her. "Please just..."

"How, Doctor? You do realise trust goes both ways?" He spun away from her, hands on hips, his toe tapping away. He wrung his hands, turning halfway back.

"River told me," he blurted out. Rose stilled. "She was the one who said you had to leave. She told me before she... left."

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay...So what? River confirmed what I already told you and now you trust me?"

"Rose, I..."

"Do you?!" she interrupted.

"No," he admitted, his tone harsher than he had intended.

"Why?"

"Because you still left!" The Doctor's chest heaved as he fought to breathe. Thinking of the moment she left him always made it hard to breathe. "Even if it was to save my life you still left, Rose. And it broke me! It broke parts of me I didn't even know existed!"

Rose fell back a step, staring at him wide-eyed, her eyes glistening with fresh tears. And immediately he regretted his outburst. He could never bear seeing her cry.

"Rose, I'm..." He reached out towards her and she looked at him as though he was going to hurt her. He drew his hand back. "I didn't mean..." he began.

"Yes, you did," she said. "Truth field, remember."

"I just wish you could..." The look in her eyes made him stop.

Rose stared at him for a long time, daring him to finish that sentence and promising nothing good if he did. Then she turned on her heel without another word and stalked off, slamming the door shut on her way down, the harsh noise of it making him wince. The Doctor hadn't planned to follow but he quickly realised he already was. He always would because the few pieces that weren't broken were the ones that belonged to her.

"Rose!" he called out as he hurried after her down the stairs. She did not stop. She didn't even slow her step. She exited the stairwell and entered the hallway, heading towards her room, probably to set her wrist yet again. If nothing else he had to stop her doing that.

The Doctor rushed down the hallway after her.

"Rose!" He reached out for her but maybe she felt him coming because she spun out of reach at the last second.

"Don't you dare," she warned.

"We can't go on like this," he told her desperately. "Please, tell me you get that?" Rose backed up.

"You do what you like, Doctor," she said, turning and continuing away. The Doctor hurried to catch up. He managed to get in front of her and she stumbled to a sudden halt as to not walk straight into him.

"I don't get it," he said. "You want us to stay like this? I can barely even be near you without...! I crave you like I'm starving! But I'm damned if I ever let myself have you! I'm in hell!" Rose drew back at that.

"You retied the bond despite of what I'd done," Rose reminded him. "You knew what you were doing."

"I told you it's not about the bond! Can't you just...-"

"No!" She cut him off, practically spitting the word out of her mouth. She turned around and walked the other way. The Doctor sighed and scrambled after her.

"Rose, wait!"

But she didn't. She hurried down the stairs, making her way back to the basement. Undoubtedly there were more of those rudimentary medical supplies down there. The Doctor quickly pushed past her, putting his arm up, hand to the wall right in front of her, halting her again. "Rose, please," he tried. He licked his lips, trying to find words that wouldn't come. "Please." Rose turned her gaze to his. There was fire in her eyes now. He'd always admired her passion. There had always seemed no end to it.

"No," she told him. He sighed.

"Rose, I'm asking...-"

"I know exactly what you're asking, Doctor," she interrupted him. "And I can't do it. I couldn't do it on that beach and I definitely can't do it now." She grabbed his arm and pushed it away. She passed by him before he could stop her. Her soft sneakers barely made a sound as she made her way down the stairs. In comparison his boots made quite the ruckus as he followed. As they entered the basement where Robert kept all his charts the Doctor managed to get a hold of Rose's arm spinning her back towards him.

"Rose!"

"What?"

The Doctor took a quick glance around the room and surprisingly found it empty. He pulled on her arm and got her one step closer to him.

"Damnation, Rose? Is that what you want?" he asked. "Because that's all that awaits. I can't stop wanting you. I can' let go. Not as long as you refuse to admit...-"

"I can't tell you I don't love you." Rose squeezed her eyes shut. "I won't."

"Why?"

Rose's eyes opened. "Because it's a lie," she said. "And here we can't lie."

"You just have to admit it to yourself," he said. "The truth field only forces you to reveal what you believe to be true. Not necessarily what is true." The Doctor felt tired as he let her go. "Don't you think it's time we let go of something that hasn't been there for a long time?" he said, stepping back. But before he had a chance to get far Rose had grabbed the lapel on his coat and yanked him back.

"No, you listen to me, Doctor," Rose demanded. The grip she had on his collar was hard, her eyes equally so. It was clear she would make him listen even if he wouldn't want to. "You say I broke you. But you say that without even knowing what it cost me to do it." Her voice trembled with emotions both dark and raw. "Every last broken second, I shared them with you, you fool. All that you suffered I suffered. And I didn't go through that hell to have you forcing me to believe it was nothing to me!" she told him harshly. "It was not nothing! This is not nothing." And Rose pulled him in and kissed him.

No one he'd ever known kissed like Rose Tyler. It wasn't just the bond. It was her. She kissed with an abandonment that couldn't be matched. Kissing Rose was like throwing himself after her over a cliff.

The bond responded immediately, exploding in the Doctor's mind, euphoria rushing through his veins and forcing him to surrender to the sheer power of it. His arms were already around her waist. He was already kissing her back. Already falling.

He heard her thoughts, chaotic as they were inside his own head. They had the power of a thousand voices shouting.

 _Not nothing_ , they said. _Not nothing_.

Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him with that same reckless abandonment. She was intoxicating, the way she moved against him enough to send his entire world spinning on its axis.

 _Tore my heart apart for you._

They always seemed to do that. Tore things apart to stay together. Except she'd torn something apart to stay away.

The Doctor's fingers ran up into Rose's hair, getting tangled in the blonde tresses as he angled her head to deepen a kiss that for once he hadn't stolen.

 _Ruined us for you._

That's what they were together. Ruin. The most beautiful, exquisite ruin.

The bond was alive like fire in their veins, burning out everything else. The Doctor felt Rose's hand trail down his neck and curl around his bowtie much the way it used to wrap around his tie when he'd' worn one. Back when he'd known she loved him. That version of him had been made for her. This version of him had turned into a broken echo of that. And no matter he felt Rose alive and vibrant in his arms, every touch screaming at him that her feelings for him had not changed. He knew he would never be able to completely believe it. Not after everything that had happened. He would always feel as though he couldn't be what she wanted. No matter how hard he might try. Perhaps it wasn't her he didn't trust. Perhaps it was in himself he couldn't.

Rose's hold on him tightened, and he was only vaguely aware that she was using the hand that had been broken. She held on to him as though she needed to. As though she knew the tragic turn of his thoughts. But she needn't worry. He was right where he wanted to be. Because despite it all, he wanted this. He wanted her with a need that burned like wild fire.

 _All for you._

Rose curled one leg around his and it made a possessive growl rise in his throat. He'd forgotten she used to do that. How could he have forgotten that?

 _I wanted you safe._

Safe. When was he ever safe? With her, his mind screamed. With Rose. Every move she made, every single touch of her lips told him the same thing. He was safe with her because she loved him.

The Doctor's hands ran over her shoulder blades feeling them like the edges of wings beneath her jacket. Words and thoughts losing meaning as he felt her beneath his hands. It wasn't enough. It was never enough. The Doctor held on to Rose as he spun her around. It wasn't that he didn't like having her in charge. But he loved the battle of it. She was his equal in every measure that mattered. Her hip hit the worktable behind them and he lifted her up, placing her easily on it, not once breaking the kiss that was consuming both of them.

Rose wrapped both her legs around his waist and the Doctor quickly realised he needed to feel more of her. All of her. His fingers ran along her jaw and down her neck, searching desperately for any exposed area. Touching her skin set his fingertips on fire, the warmth rushing through his blood. And he'd gladly burn for her. Rose made him come alive in ways he could never have dreamed. She was life and power and conscience and heart and passion and if loving her did kill him there was no other way he'd rather go.

Rose pulled away from him for a second, gasping in a desperate lungful of air, and he took the opportunity to trail kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Rushed, wet kisses because there was no room for careful thought.

But then Rose was pulling him back again, her fingers tight around his bowtie. Her mouth crashed against his; her lips already parted. Her tongue dove inside his mouth, making his head spin. Rose hitched her legs higher up, forcing their bodies closer together. That simple movement made a thousand vivid memories flash by before the Doctor's eyes. Memories of that night they'd spent together after he lost Amy and Rory. Though the memories were edged with guilt and grief, the thought of Rose, hair tussled, skin flushed, nearly floored him. He wanted her like that again. But not because she felt she owed him something or because he was scared and lost without her. He wanted her like that because they both couldn't bear to have it any other way.

"I told you we couldn't be anywhere near a bed." The Doctor barely got the words out as he couldn't stop kissing her. All the while those few vital moments they'd shared spilled out of his mind like gasoline ready to ignite. A moan escaped Rose's lips, and the Doctor knew he was unwittingly projecting every last thought but by the sound she made he found he didn't regret it in the least.

"Beds are overrated," Rose mumbled into his mouth and he felt her smile. In an instant his fingers went from trailing across her collarbone to clasping her waist and pulling her as tightly to him as he possibly could. He kissed her hard, turning her smile into a sigh.

 _My Doctor,_ she whispered across the bond, the two words echoing possessively through his very bones. He was hers. Always would be. The vows he'd given he hadn't given lightly and those vows would bind him until the end of all things. And even if he could never be the man he'd once been, the man who was worthy of loving her that would never change. Those vows would never be broken. But what bound him didn't necessarily bind her.

The Doctor clasped Rose's shoulders, somehow managing to push her away. It physically hurt him to do it. Like it was a piece of himself he was tearing out. She pulled on the bowtie at his neck and his muscles flexed as he fought against the pull. But at least he was physically stronger, he thought. At least he had that, if nothing else.

"If damnation is all you can give me, I'll take it ," Rose declared recklessly and his gaze flickered up to hers. That fire still danced in her whiskey eyes. "I don't care anymore," she vowed. "I want you." He could see all her strength. He could feel it and it broke his hearts because he was afraid he could no longer meet it.

Rose let go of his bowtie, her hands clasping his face instead, not letting him turn away. "Doctor, are you hearing me?" she asked. The Doctor took a deep shuddering breath. He could feel her everywhere. Every inch of him hummed with her presence, every part of his skin she'd touched still bore the imprint of her fingers. "Doctor, truth field or not I could never tell you I don't love you."

"Rose, I..." He took another breath, bravely facing her. "Perhaps you can't," he admitted. "... because you do. Maybe it never mattered that I changed...-"

"It didn't," Rose was quick to assure him. "Doctor, it doesn't. I don't care I..."

"But I think it does for me," he said and she got quiet. Rose let go of him. He was glad. She could easily make him forget after all. Make him believe nothing else mattered. That holding on to her was all he needed. He should be stepping back, putting space between them but he didn't. Instead the Doctor leaned his forehead against Rose's. "What if I can't ever be good enough for you?" he asked.

"That's just stupid," Rose told him. "Why would you even...-" She drew in a shuddering breath. "Doctor please, I just want to be with you."

He brushed her hair gently out of her face, wanting nothing more than to reassure her but not knowing how. If he could give this life up and be who he had been he would do it. And he realised he wouldn't even be doing it for her anymore. As he held Rose trembling in his arms, how could he ever doubt what she was telling him? No, if he could give her back that man he'd been it would be for his own sake. Just to be able to regain that faith. The faith in them, in her, and most of all in himself. But there was no going back. That wasn't how it worked. Once lived that life was gone forever.

"I want to be with you too," he said before he realised the words were even out of his mouth. Rose paused before she raised her head and looked at him. He ran his knuckles lightly along her cheekbone.

Changing every molecule in his body hadn't changed one thing he felt about Rose. Not the first time or the second. Not the way it made his hearts beat faster just at seeing that smile of hers. Not the way his fingers always itched to reach for her hand or how he wanted to steal every moment he could to hold her. And that still hadn't changed. Despite everything. Rose wrapped her hand around his, lacing their fingers together. She opened her mouth to speak but fell silent as something started beeping. Rose stared down at the Doctor's chest as it had suddenly begun to blink.

"Doctor?" she asked with some suspicion, her hand falling from his.

The Doctor took a reluctant step back, feeling his whole body scream out in protest. He got the sonic out of his pocket. The tip was blinking green.

"What does that mean?" Rose asked; her tone understandably laced with worry. She knew it was highly unlikely it was anything good.

"Oh, no."

"Oh, no, what?" Rose wanted to know.

The Doctor twirled around and shot off up the stairs, running back up to the bell tower. Rose jumped off the table and ran after him. Everything was alive and frenzied up there. Every scanner and radar equipment they'd set up was blinking and blaring.

"Doctor, what is going on?"

He checked them all, quickly realising it was just as bad as it appeared to be. He looked out over the town.

"We should be able to see them," he mumbled. Rose came up beside him.

"See who? What's coming?"

"I don't know," the Doctor allowed. "But it's big." They both scanned the shadows along the narrow streets but neither saw anything out of place. The streets were empty. Almost eerily empty. "They don't have the technology to turn invisible."

The Doctor scratched at his chin. And then it suddenly dawned on him. He turned to Rose.

"The tunnels," they said in unison.

Both of them rushed back down the stairs, skipping steps as they went. Years of running keeping them from falling and breaking their necks. As they both came crashing into the basement, Lex emerged from the kitchen with a cup of something in his hands. He looked up at them in surprised confusion.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Get me that little Miss Mayhem!" the Doctor told Lex. "We might actually need to blow something up."

Lex turned and rushed back off to find the twins. Robert suddenly emerged from behind a bookcase. He'd been at the crack in wall. He spent far too much time there, the Doctor thought. But that thought was quickly pushed away for one far more embarrassing. Robert had been in the room all along. The Doctor smiled and wrung his hands, anything to hide the flush he felt creeping up his throat.

"Robert, where have you been?"

"Back there..." He pointed back behind him, looking mostly confused. "What's going on?"

"We're about to get company," Rose said, hurrying over to a table littered with gadgets, clearly unbothered. Some of them were metal spheres the size of tennis balls, intricate wiring crisscrossed over the surface of each ball. She had actually helped build most of them. It was like a small EMP, knocking out electricity within a three meter radius. They worked really well on Cybermen, not at all on Sontarans, and hadn't yet been tested against Daleks. Rose pocketed as many as she could carry. The Cybermen had been the ones who attacked most frequently.

The Doctor joined her. "I had hoped they wouldn't discover the tunnels," he muttered.

"Yeah, but we knew it was possible they would," Rose replied. He nodded.

"Rose..." the Doctor began.

"I don't think now's really the time for a chat," Rose quickly cut him off.

"I just wanted to say..."

"It fixed my wrist after all," Rose interrupted. "That's what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But, nothing." Rose grabbed a couple of more items from the table. "In case you forgot we're still in the middle of a war here. Let's just focus on that, yeah?"

Rose moved away but the Doctor caught her hand, halting her.

"I'm still sorry for... letting it go that far."

"Really?" Rose leaned down closer to him. "I'm not."

Rose turned before he could reply, before she could see the unwitting smile teasing his lips. And she nearly bumped into Lex.

"Here," the boy said, holding out a gun for her. They had all of two guns. One was the one Lex had pointed at them when the Doctor and Rose had first arrived, and the other one was a ten year old model the Doctor had miraculously been able to fix. The first one was the one Lex was holding out for her.

"I don't much like guns," Rose said, preparing to move past him.

"Take the gun, Rose," the Doctor said from behind her. She stopped, glanced at him over her shoulder.

"I don't need it." Rose said. The Doctor had his back to her. He sighed before he turned around.

"Take the gun. I know you know how to use it."

"That's not the point," Rose told him. "You only fire a gun for one reason. To kill. That is not what we do."

The Doctor took the gun out of Lex's hand and stepped forwards, glaring down at Rose.

"And if it saves your life?" He held the gun out for her. Rose backed away from him without taking it.

"I guess you've forgotten, Doctor, but I don't do guns," she repeated as she backed up. "Since when do you?"

She spun around, her blonde hair flying as she went. The Doctor stared after her as she hurried towards the kitchen to access the tunnels. He could still feel her in his blood, still taste her on his tongue. Loving Rose had once made him better and he'd lost that in the pain of losing her. He'd compromised. It had made things easier. But easy had never been his way. The man loving Rose had made him might be someone he could never get back, but that didn't mean he couldn't try. The Doctor mutely handed the gun back to Lex, and the kid hurried after Rose.

Robert came up to the Doctor's side. "My wife was just the same," he said.

"She's not my..." the Doctor stopped himself before he could finish that sentence.

"No?" Robert asked in surprise. "You fight, you make love. Looks like a marriage to me."

"It's complicated," the Doctor said.

"Isn't it always," Robert agreed. "But the great ones are never easy. Shouldn't be, I suppose."

"They could be a little," the Doctor muttered.

Robert laughed.

"For I have loved a woman and I loved her well," he quoted, clearly from some old song, judging by the lyrical rhythm and the wistful sound of his voice. "She came from afar, she came and she stayed. Yet lost her I did too early I'd say." The Doctor walked away from Robert. There was no time for old songs. There was a war that needed to be fought. But the Doctor could hear the soft sound of the man's voice follow him as he did. "Rest my love for evermore, both of us buried deep beneath the fields of Trenzalore."

The Doctor stopped. Every single bone in his body seemed to lock down and his blood turned to ice in his veins. A moment ago he'd held Rose in his arms and he'd burned for her and now she wasn't here and everything was cold. He turned slowly back around towards Robert.

"What did you say?" the Doctor managed to get out.

"It's just an old song," Robert said with a shrug. "My wife used to hum it."

"No," the Doctor ground out. "Not the song. The name. That name. What was that? Say that again." The Doctor was trembling all over, dreading the word, praying he'd heard it wrong. "Say it!"

"You mean Trenzalore?" Robert asked and the Doctor fell back a step, for a moment losing his footing.

"Why would you say that?" the Doctor asked, all the fear he felt audible in his voice.

"That's where we are." Robert watched the Doctor warily. "This is Trenzalore. This planet. I..."

But the Doctor didn't stick around to hear him finish. He ran after Rose.

Oh, how stupid he was. Stupid, old Doctor. Never bothered to ask. Not once. The TARDIS had told him Gallifrey and that was all he thought he needed to know. He was such a fool. The Doctor rushed through the kitchen and into the pantry. Behind a series of shelves was an old maintenance hatch the twins had found. Crawl down it and it took you to the tunnels under the city, and Rose was already down there.

They were on Trenzalore, the one place he must never go but could never avoid. And he'd taken Rose with him. He'd taken Rose to the place where he would be buried. And what if that diddy Robert had hummed had echoed some horrible truth and Rose would be buried right there next to him?

The Doctor's whole body convulsed at the thought. He'd be damned if he let Rose die on a battlefield. She should die in peace, old and content, surrounded by the people who loved her. Not in this cold, dark place, fighting his war.

If he had anything left to give he'd give it to save Rose from sharing his fate. River had been right about that. Always, anything and everything for Rose.


	66. Chapter 66 - The art of bravery

**First, thank you to the guest reviewers! I hate not being able to thank you individually but know that I'm so incredibly grateful!  
**

 **Second, thank you to** **cyandevil666 who beta-ed this for me crazy fast. As always you're amazing!  
**

 **And third, so we are coming up on the end. Only a few chapters left now! I do hope you like this one :)**

Chapter 66 - The art of bravery

"Hurry!" Rose called out to Lex. The boy rushed down one of the tunnels, disappearing from her sight.

It was dark and wet down there. Water dropped from the ceiling overhead into puddles on the ground. Wires ran along the walls. The same wires they'd used to stop the Sontarans at the square. It had been a hazardous thing to do, but fortunately it had paid off in the end. At regular intervals along the ceiling hung lanterns lit with gravity orbs. The orbs were filled with liquids that became luminescent when you shook them.

"Ready?!" Rose called into the darkness.

"Ready!" Lex called back.

"Three, two, one!" Rose pushed the button she was holding. The walls in front of her lit up, a web of light appearing across the tunnel to block the way. Lex came hurrying back.

"Is it working?" he asked.

"Let's hope so," Rose told him, both turning around and running back the way they'd come. The light-web was for a possible Dalek attack. According to the Doctor, the neutrons inside it were set to just the right frequency to activate the self-destruct orbs that covered the Dalek's armour. It wouldn't last. It might take one or two of them if they were lucky. "Wait." Rose suddenly stopped. "Can you hear that?"

Lex stopped and listened. "I don't hear anything," the boy said.

"Shhh."

The sound was vague but it was there, Rose was sure of it. Daleks.

"E-NE-MY LO-CA-TED!"suddenly rang through the tunnels. Rose stared as Daleks appeared on the other side of the web.

"Oh, no," Lex breathed, fear marking those two simple words. "We have to go!"

"Wait," Rose said. "I need to see if it works or there's no point setting up the other ones."

"SURRENDER OR YOU WILL BE EX-TERMINATED!" the Daleks informed them.

"I thought Daleks didn't take prisoners!" Rose taunted.

"YOU ARE AN ASSO-CIATE OF THE DOC-TOR. YOU COULD BE USE-FUL IN OUR W-AR."

"Yeah, I'm plenty useful," Rose said just as the first Dalek rolled into the web of light. Immediately it stopped. Then it tried to back up, but it didn't matter.

"WHAT IS TH-IS?" the Dalek shouted. The Dalek's orbs began turning in their settings.

"Rose, I think it's working, let's go!" Lex urged desperately.

"EXTERMINATE!" The Dalek shouted, and then it came straight for them. Rose grabbed Lex, and they both spun and bolted. The Dalek screamed and screamed as it came for them. "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

The explosion rocked the whole tunnel, knocking both Rose and Lex off their feet. Rose coughed the dust out of her lungs as she got up on all fours. She looked back over her shoulder. Dust filled the space behind them so all she could see were the few remains of the exploding Dalek.

"It wasn't supposed to do that," Rose said. She'd seen a Dalek self-destruct once,a long time ago when the Doctor had still been new to her and she hadn't yet understood what a Dalek was.

Lex got up next to her. "Thought you two said it wouldn't explode but implode or something?"

"Guess it didn't get the memo," Rose muttered as she got up.

"EXTERMINATE!" The dust began to settle and more Daleks came towards them. Rose grabbed Lex and pushed him ahead of her.

"Run!"

They ran as the Daleks shot at them, those exterminator beams missing them by inches. When they reached the next intersection Lex ran right and Rose left. Rose grabbed the remote to light up the next light web from the floor.

"Ready?" she called out to Lex.

"Ready!" he called back. To light the web they needed to add power from two different points at the exact same time.

"Three, two, one!" They both pressed the buttons and another light web lit up the tunnel, blocking the Daleks advance.

"Lex! Come on!" Rose called into the darkness where he'd disappeared. But she didn't get a response. "Lex!"

One of the Daleks reached the field and immediately came straight for her. Instead of running back towards safety Rose ran after Lex while the Dalek screamed behind her. "EXTERMINATE!"

The shockwave from the second explosion knocked Rose into the wall, and she groaned as she tumbled to the ground. This plan would have worked way better if it hadn't turned the bloody Daleks into kamikaze soldiers. Rose rolled over and immediately her eyes caught on the remote Lex had used. It was lying there on the ground. She picked it up, looked at it for a moment before tossing it away and getting to her feet.

"Lex!" She made her way deeper into the tunnel. "Lex?"

"Rose! Run!"

The lights overhead offering little illumination, Rose ran into the darkness drawn by the panic in the boy's voice, ignoring what he was actually saying.

"Lex!"

"No! Get out! It's a trap!"

Shapes seemed to materialize from the shadows as she ran towards them. Large shapes, the edges sharpening as she neared. Metal gleamed under the lights. Rose saw the Cybermen before she saw Lex. Five of them. One held on to Lex. But why only five? She hadn't got a good look at the Daleks but it had definitely been more than five.

Rose glanced around quickly, assuring herself there weren't more metal men hiding in dark corners. She cautiously slowed her step as she neared.

"Rose." The boy was close to tears, his whole body shaking in fear.

"Lex?" Rose asked wearily.

"Just run," he cried. "Please."

"DELETE."

Had the Cybermen had the inclination or the ability to smile, the one holding Lex would have done so in that moment. Rose threw herself at Lex as she saw electricity shoot through the boy. She knocked him away and got her share of the charge. The shock of it sent her to her knees. She vaguely noticed her jeans getting wet. Water. Water and electricity was not a good combination, she thought absentmindedly. The Cybermen were moving in on her and she somehow managed to roll away. She reached inside her pocket, throwing one of the EMP grenades. The explosion was slight. It wasn't built to destroy but to knock out electronics.

Rose's gaze shot frantically about, not paying attention if she hit her target or not. She finally spotted Lex lying motionless on the dirty tunnel floor. She scrambled over to him, disregarding the Cybermen that were coming for her.

"Lex?" Rose's thoughts were frantic. Not the kid, she thought. Please, not the kid. She pulled Lex over. He wasn't moving. Not moving. Not breathing. Dead, her mind screamed. But she couldn't accept the thought. Fourteen years old was no time to die. "Lex!" she shouted, shaking him. But the boy didn't move.

Rose felt the cold, hard hand of one of the Cybermen as it grabbed her. She struggled against only thought was to get the Lex out of there. They could fix him. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. But Rose was roughly pulled back, sprawled in the dirt and dragged by her shoulder as she kicked and fought to get free. Then suddenly the brutal hold on her vanished. She didn't look to see why the Cyberman had released her. Didn't care beyond the fact that it had. Instead she crawled across the ground, muddying her hands and her jeans. But she never reached Lex this time. Someone grabbed her and pulled her away.

"EXTERMINATE!" A shot from a Dalek blew past inches from Rose's face. Close enough that she felt the heat of it. Whoever had her yanked her back more roughly, the person's movements less careful and more desperate. But Rose was still fighting to get to Lex.

"Rose, stop it," the person growled in her ear. She knew the voice. She knew the body of the man holding her too, even the exact strength of the arms around her. The Doctor.

He fumbled in one of her pockets and threw another EMP grenade. It knocked out two Cybermen. But the Daleks were shooting too, the semi darkness momentarily lighting up as they fired their deadly weapons. Blast after blast blew by the Doctor and Rose. And that's when Rose saw it. Lex moved his head. He moved. He wasn't dead.

"Lex," Rose ground out as she fought to get free of the Doctor's hold. But he would have none of it. He pulled her back, further and further away from the unconscious boy.

"He's gone," the Doctor ground out, Rose barely hearing him over the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Doctor shoved her into a smaller tunnel, dark and wet. Rose spun to fight her way back if she had to. But the Doctor got in her way. "He's dead!" the Doctor shouted at her.

"No, he's not!" Rose shouted back. The Doctor grabbed her and pushed her ahead of him.

"He might as well be," he said. "We can't get to him."

"Doctor, no." Rose tried to get past him but he was relentless. Something shot at them. Dalek or Cyberman, Rose couldn't tell. The Doctor got another one of her EMP grenades and threw that too. It blew, buying them a bit more time. He pushed her ahead again.

"Go!" he said.

"Doctor..."

"There's no time!" More shots were fired at them, splintering the stone that had been used to build the tunnel. Dirt rained down from overhead. If the Daleks and the Cybermen kept this up the tunnel would collapse, burying them all alive.

Rose stumbled out into a wider tunnel but before she had a chance to use the space to get past the Doctor he'd grabbed her arm and pulled her with him. His grip was so hard she could do nothing but stumble after.

"Doctor..." she tried again. She had to make him see that Lex wasn't dead, that they had to go back for him. But the Doctor spun on her before she had a chance to say anything.

"He's dead, Rose!" he barked. "If we go back we will be too, do you understand?!"

"Doctor, he moved. He-"

"He's gone!"

But Rose shook her head. "We have to go back."

"No, we don't." The Doctor continued away, pulling Rose with him.

"We don't leave people behind," Rose tried to tell him. But he wasn't listening. Rose heard the Daleks coming behind them, and the Doctor raised his screwdriver. The tip lit up green and the familiar whirring sound filled the dark space. Just behind the Doctor and Rose another of the light-webs lit up, halting the Daleks advance.

"Doctor," Rose tried again. He paused and yanked her within an inch of his face. Darkness swirled in his light eyes. Darkness and anger and fear. Most of all fear.

"I could save one of you," he told her harshly. "And I chose you. Now move or I will drag you out of here. I swear." He didn't wait for a reply but continued on ahead. Though he clearly expected her to follow along, he didn't let go of her arm. And Rose couldn't help the reluctance in her step as she went with him.

"DOC-TOR!"

The Daleks had reached the light web. The Doctor paused, turning back towards one of his greatest enemies. They stood just beyond the web. The bluish light gleamed off the Dalekanium making them look even more menacing.

"Before you send someone through that web, I'd like to remind you that another explosion might be just enough to set off that chain reaction and kill us all," the Doctor reminded them. "And I mean us all. Even those up in the sky. There'd be nothing left for millions of miles." The Daleks hesitated. "Wise choice."

The Doctor continued away, dragging Rose with him. Rose glanced back over her shoulder and saw the Daleks moving away. For a second she felt a hint of triumph until she saw the Cybermen. The Daleks were merely moving out of the way. The light-web wouldn't affect the Cybermen.

"Doctor..." Rose began hesitantly. He looked back and then immediately picked up his pace. Rose and the Doctor ran through the dark tunnels, occasionally splattering water and mud around them as they rushed through puddles. They made a sharp right turn, and the Doctor slowed down before he finally let Rose go.

"You got any more of those EMP grenades?" he asked hastily. Rose reached inside her pockets and pulled out three. The Doctor picked one up, running the sonic over it.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked.

"I'm altering the impact ratio," he said dismissively, placing one of the grenades back in Rose's hand and picking up the next one.

"Meaning what exactly?"

"Bigger boom."

The Doctor altered the last of them and put it at the base of the wall. He picked the next one out of Rose's hand and placed it by the wall on the opposite side. The final one he tossed up into the lamp by the ceiling. It landed neatly inside, next to the glowing orb. Sometimes his athleticism astonished Rose simply because half the time he was blundering about tipping over everything around him.

The Cybermen were coming. Rose could hear the beat of their steady marching. Cybermen didn't run they marched. The Doctor aimed his screwdriver at each of the altered grenades.

"Time to go." He grabbed Rose's hand and they ran down the tunnel.

"You don't intend to disable the Cybermen, do you?" Rose asked him as they ran. "You're gonna collapse the tunnel."

"Just pray it doesn't collapse right on top of us," he told her over his shoulder. The ground beneath their feet suddenly shook, vibrations moving through the walls as the EMP grenades exploded behind them. Rocks rained down from overhead and cracks split the tunnel walls. "Come on!"

They ran faster, harder, fighting to avoid the collapse as it chased them. A couple of turns and Rose spotted the ladder leading back up to the pantry. As they reached it the Doctor stood back, urging Rose ahead of him. Rose climbed the ladder quickly. As quickly as she could and the Doctor climbed up after her.

The hatch at the top was opened and Rose saw Robert's head peeking down at them. Rose felt her stomach curl. How was she going to tell a father he'd lost a son?

"We heard the explosions," Robert called down to them. "Are you alright?"

Rose couldn't make herself answer as she finished the climb. Robert was kind enough to help her up even though she didn't need it. Rose climbed out of the hole in the floor and the Doctor emerged after her. He immediately threw the hatch shut, using the sonic to seal it.

Robert was looking from Rose to the Doctor and back again.

"Where's Lex?" he asked, a horrible hint of fear in his voice. "Where's my son?" The Doctor got to his feet. He made his way over to Rose, taking a hold of her arm yet again and pulled her rather roughly up. The Doctor didn't answer as he made his way with Rose out of the pantry and through the kitchen. "Where's my son!?" Robert screamed after them. The sound of his frightened, broken voice made Rose's blood run cold with guilt. She tried to stop and explain. But the Doctor wasn't letting her go and he was not so much as pausing.

They made it out of the kitchen into the room with all of Robert's charts. There sat the twins on the floor, fiddling with wires. Most likely building something else mad and brilliant. Because they were that. Nine years old and they understood the Doctor's technical babble far better than most. They both looked up as the Doctor and Rose entered. They let go of what they were doing and scrambled to their feet. Their eyes quickly filled with worry. They already knew something was wrong.

"Where is Lex!?" Before anyone had time to react Robert had brushed past Rose and grabbed the Doctor. The Doctor's hold on Rose slipped and Robert, frail and slightly messy Robert, slammed the Doctor into one of the bookcases. "Where's my son!?" he shouted at the Doctor, and Rose saw the Doctor flinch. "Where is he?! Doctor... Where's my boy?" The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut and Rose could see the hurt ripple through him. Another one he'd failed to save. "Answer me!"

Rose got a hold of Robert's hand. He was holding on to the Doctor so tightly Rose had trouble getting him loose.

"Robert, please," she said. "Let him go."

"Not until he tells me what happened to my son," Robert pleaded, tears lodged in his throat. Rose managed to get Robert's fingers uncurled from the Doctor's coat.

"He's gone, Robert," Rose said gently, trying so hard to at least keep her voice steady. "But he saved us." Robert wouldn't turn to look at Rose. His eyes were fixed on the Doctor as his lips twisted in a snarl.

"You killed my boy, Doctor?" he asked and Rose saw the Doctor wince at the pain that accusation cost.

Rose got a hold of Robert's other hand. Carefully but determinately, she uncurled his fingers.

"It wasn't the Doctor's fault," she told Robert softly. "Lex chose to be there. He chose to fight. He was very brave." Rose managed to turn Robert away from the Doctor. "So very brave," she said. A few tears trickled down Robert's face. And then suddenly the Doctor had gotten a hold of Rose and was moving again. Rose spun surprise, being pulled along a few steps before she managed to get her footing.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" she barked out. But as when Robert had asked him what had become of his son, the Doctor didn't answer.

The Doctor's face was stone as he dragged Rose up the stairs while Robert and his two children stared silently after them, just as confused as to the Doctor's behaviour as Rose was.

"Doctor, stop," Rose tried to tell him, fighting to break free. But he wasn't hearing her or he simply didn't care to listen. He just kept moving. He was scaring her. Really scaring her. Because he was afraid. So very, very afraid. More so than she had ever seen him. The Doctor was dragging Rose back into the entrance hall, and she realised he was running. He was going for the TARDIS, and he was going to run.

Rose dug her heels in and yanked so hard she nearly pulled her own arm out of its socket. But the sudden harsh motion was enough for his brutal grip to slip.

"Stop!" Rose shouted. The Doctor froze for just a second before spinning towards her. "Wait." Rose held up her hands to ward him off. "Just wait. Talk to me, Doctor." But he didn't wait. Didn't listen. He lashed out, grabbing Rose's wrist and yanking her with him again. She was beginning to feel not only fear inside him but panic. He was panicked.

Rose managed to pull him to a sharp stop yet again. But instead of trying to get free this time, she got a hold of his collar and pulled him close.

"Talk to me!" she shouted in his face. For several minutes he didn't move. His eyes stuck on her shoulder, gathering the strength to face her. When he finally did, Rose let go of his coat collar and fell back a step. In his eyes swirled a whirlwind of different terrifying emotions. Regret and terror and yes, panic.

"Trenzalore..," he said, with a strange tone,somehow reverent and sorrowful at the same time. "...it is where I'll be buried. And this... this is Trenzalore."

Rose stared at him with incomprehension. Not the kind of incomprehension that stemmed from ignorance but the kind that came from renouncement of the very idea itself.

"What?"

"You heard me," he said.

"How do you...," Rose swallowed hard, trying to wrap her head around what he was saying. "How do you know...?"

"Every time traveller eventually finds out the location of their own grave," the Doctor said. "If out of morbid curiosity or happenstance."

"You're gonna die here?" Rose asked.

"Probably. I don't know," the Doctor admitted. "But I know Trenzalore is where I... where my body will end up." He had to force the words past his lips. "This is the end of the line for me, Rose."

No, was the single thought that pounded through Rose's head. No. Not this again. She couldn't even bring herself to count the number of times she stood faced with the prospect of his death. How many times it had stared her mockingly in the eye either with the promise that there was nothing she could do to stop it or the only thing to do was unthinkable. But there was one thing this taught her. It could be avoided. Death hadn't conquered him yet. Despite considerable effort. There was a way out of this just as it had been before. There had to be.

After all he was supposed to have died at Lake Silencio. It had even been a fixed point in time. If he'd been able to dodge that he could dodge anything. This wasn't the end, Rose thought. Not if she had any say in it.

The only thing she wasn't sure about was why he was trying to drag her out of the building. She didn't believe he would abandon his people for fear of his own life. He wasn't that type of man.

The Doctor had lost his brutal hold on her wrist so Rose pulled it free easily.

"And what exactly were you planning on doing just now?" she asked. The Doctor sighed, his eyelids fluttering shut in pain.

"We need to get the bracelet back," he said. "From Annabelle Conn. Whatever it takes."

"And what possible reason could you have for wanting to do that?" Rose wanted to know. His eyes opened and he looked at her. Those pale eyes of his were rimmed red from tears both shed and those he was holding back.

"Perhaps it will keep you safe," he said.

"Safe?" Rose took another step back, away from him.

"The bond. I die, you die," the Doctor clarified. "And if this is my time then fine but I will not let it be yours. I will not let you die on a battlefield and buried next to me. I won't."

Rose simply stared at him. "And you think the bracelet Annabelle Conn made can stop that from happening?" she asked in disbelief.

"At least there's a chance," he said.

"It won't," Rose refuted, close to tears.

"You don't know that."

"I do," Rose insisted.

"No, you don't!" the Doctor shouted in desperation. "You don't, Rose! You don't! There could still be a chance! You can still...!"

"Are you actually, properly insane?" Rose interrupted him. "Do you have any idea what that could do to me? Even if it did work? I'd go mad! Lose you and I'd become just like Omega. Is that what you want for me?"

"I want you to live!" he told her harshly.

"Then don't bloody die!"

The Doctor laughed without humour, hands on his hips and his gaze on the ceiling overhead.

"Doctor, you were supposed to die at Lake Silencio and you didn't," Rose pointed out in a more reasonable tone.

"This is different." The Doctor didn't look at her as he spoke.

"No, it's not." Rose took a couple of steps towards him. "We can fight this. Together. There is nothing we can't do if we just stick together." She tremulously reached out towards him, placing her hand on his chest. She couldn't help but be a little weary of him. There was nothing else more dangerous than the Doctor afraid. When he was afraid he was even more unpredictable. Even to her. "Doctor..."

His gaze dropped from the ceiling to catch hers. "You don't understand," he said and he looked at her in a way she hated. Like she was nothing but a child who couldn't possibly understand the scope of the universe. "But I'll show you," he said, wrapping his fingers around the hand she'd placed on his chest. "I'll make you understand." Rose shook her head, a silent 'no' falling of her lips and then he was moving again and Rose gave up fighting him.

"What about Robert and the twins?" Rose asked as the Doctor opened the church doors. The cold, winter wind whipped Rose's hair across her face and bit into her skin.

"It will take the Daleks and Cybermen time to find another route through the tunnels," the Doctor explained. They made their way down the steps. Night rested around the silent town. A few snowflakes fluttered on the freezing winds while frost and snow coated the ground.

"What about the TARDIS?" Rose asked, because that was where they were headed. Straight for the TARDIS. "If you leave, nothing will stop Annabelle from blowing this place up. The crack in the wall... your people..."

"This won't take long," the Doctor said, fishing the key out of his pocket and unlocking the door to his beautiful old ship.

Rose pulled him to a gentle stop before he could step inside.

"One condition," she said.

"What?"

"You go get Lex."

"Rose, Lex is..." the Doctor sighed.

"He's not dead. Please, trust me, Doctor. Just this once. Please." Rose felt the Doctor's thumb move softly back and forth across her hand. It was an unconscious kind of motion, she was sure he wasn't really aware he was doing it. Then he nodded.

"Fine. I'll try." She gave him a soft smile, one imbued with a hint of pride in him. Try was all she could ask him to do. But she needed him to do it. Just try. Because that was what the Doctor did. He always tried to save people. Even when he was scared. And it was important that he remembered that.

Rose followed the Doctor into the TARDIS. She watched as he unplugged the cable, and the blue light that had been pulsing through it faded. He tossed the cable out the door before he returned to the console. Rose soon joined him. Silently they moved around, working in near perfect unison as they flew the ship. The landing was smooth, that wonderful sound of the engines filling the room and fading softly. The Doctor didn't look at her as he walked out the door. Rose waited a beat and then gave in, rushing to follow. But before she got to the door it was thrown opened. The sound of battle preceded the Doctor as he stumbled into view, Lex thrown over his shoulder. Rose hurried to close the door behind them, briefly seeing Cybermen and Daleks all coming for them. She pulled the door shut and the noise from outside immediately drowned away.

The Doctor was putting Lex down on the floor by the console, hastily running the sonic over him. The Doctor flicked his wrist and the claws at the top of it extended. He quickly pushed them down again, rubbing at his forehead. His hand shook and he fell back, sitting down awkwardly on the floor.

"You were right," he said without looking up. "He's out cold. But he's fine."

Rose walked over, hunkering down in front of the Doctor. His hands were trembling, every muscle tense. Rose took his hands in hers. They were ice cold. His eyelids fluttered shut as he felt her touch ripple through him.

"Easy," Rose said as though she was trying to sooth a wild animal. The Doctor's eyes flipped opened and he hastily pulled his hands out of hers. He drew in a quick breath between his teeth, shaking a string of hair out of his eye.

"You were right," he said again. He used the edge of the console to pull himself up, stumbling away from her.

Rose watched him worriedly. "Doctor?"

He didn't respond but moved away, getting the ship back into flight. Rose turned to Lex who was lying right next to her on the floor. She wrapped her hand around his wrist for a second, assuring herself that there was a pulse beating. And she felt it, nice and steady. Rose breathed a sigh of relief. No tears for the dead today.

"I told you he was alive," Rose said to the Doctor. He was behind the console, out of her line of sight.

"You did," she heard him reply. Rose got up, leaving Lex because she knew he'd be alright. But at the moment she wasn't that sure about the Doctor.

"Where are you taking us?" Rose asked.

"He's gonna be fine," the Doctor said as Rose rounded the console. She found him pressing buttons, his hands still shaking.

"Yeah, you said that," Rose pointed out. "Where are you taking us?" she repeated. He didn't answer but moved away, focused on steering the ship. Rose followed. "Doctor!"

He paused, clutching the edge of the console. As Rose watched him she found she was scared to get a sense of what he was feeling because whatever it was it was threatening to completely overtake him. But at the end of the day Rose was nothing if not brave.

She walked over to the Doctor, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder but he moved out of the way before she could, pulling a lever and suddenly the TARDIS shook violently. Bad enough that both Rose and the Doctor had to clutch the nearest thing to stay upright.

"What was that?" Rose asked not sure if she expected a reply. Regardless she received none. The Doctor rushed away around the console, fighting to keep the ship on course. It shook again. Sparks blew from somewhere. Rose desperately held on to the railing as she fought to get to the Doctor.

"You're going to blow us to pieces!" Rose shouted after him as he rushed around. More sparks blew out of the console. "Doctor, what are you doing?!"

"I'm crossing my own timeline," he said. "The TARDIS doesn't like it." His tone was conversational which made it hard for Rose to even hear him because wherever he was taking them the TARDIS wasn't going quietly.

Again the ship shook, nearly knocking Rose to the floor. Sparks blew around them, the TARDIS's systems not able to take the strain. Rose scrambled over to Lex where he lain on the floor. She grabbed onto him to prevent him being tossed about. The Doctor was running around the console, desperately trying to take them to a place it was clear they shouldn't go. Not that such a thing seemed to matter to him.

Rose looked back over her shoulder, seeing him reach across the console. With some effort he managed to get his fingers around a lever, yanking it down hard. It felt like something blew from underneath them and for the blink of an eye Rose feared it was all over. But a second later they were all still there.

Rose looked around. Most of the lights had gone out. The room was dim. Rose spotted the Doctor with some difficulty, her eyes taking time to adjust to the sudden darkness. The Doctor stood, staring up at the time rotor and then he pushed away, taking a step back.

"She's shut down," he said. "She won't land." The Doctor got his sonic out of his pocket and aimed it at the time rotor. "She only left the anti-grav on," he said to no one in particular. The sonic whirred. And then suddenly they were in free fall. Rose clutched Lex's arm as she clung to the console. She felt them tumbling through the air, pulled ruthlessly down by gravity. Gravity that under normal circumstances was nothing to the TARDIS.

Rose was squeezing her eyes shut as she held on, her stomach somewhere up in her throat. The thing about falling is that you eventually crashed. It was inevitable. But as they hit the ground the TARDIS must have done something to soften the landing. Because though it knocked them all about it was not as bad as it should have been.

After making sure Lex was still alright, because Rose was making bloody sure that kid was returned safe and sound to his family, she got up. The Doctor was struggling back on his feet with some difficulty, using the railing to pull himself up. He held on to it, his breathing ragged as though he'd run a mile. His eyes were downcast. He wouldn't look at Rose.

"Doctor?" Rose asked carefully. "Where are we?" But he remained mute. "Doctor?!" Rose barked out, demanding he answer her. But still he wouldn't. He just stood there, holding on to the railing. Rose stepped over to him, seizing one of his trembling hands. He immediately straightened but did not pull away from her this time.

The panic she'd felt before. The brutal kind that had the power to render you useless if you let it. That had dulled to a cold, frightening shiver that ran through Rose's whole body as she touched him.

"I'll show you," he said then and his fingers curled around hers. Rose let him draw her with him, over to the doors where he paused for just a second before pushing them opened. Rose glanced back at the kid lying on the floor and upon seeing the steady rise and fall of his chest she followed the Doctor outside.

It was a graveyard.

The hills and valleys all around them were covered with headstones as far as Rose could see. Old, cracked ones, the names faded and worn. Thunder rolled overhead, dark ominous clouds blocking out the sky.

"It's the remnants of a battlefield," the Doctor explained. "My final battle." Rose felt her stomach twist into a knot.

"We're on Trenzalore?" It was more a statement than a question. "You took me to your grave, you..." Rose trailed off, biting her lip so she wouldn't shout at him for doing such a horrible thing.

"That's why the TARDIS wouldn't land," the Doctor explained. "She tried to keep me away to save me before, I realise that now. It was why you had trouble steering when we first landed. She didn't want us to be there. She knew what it was all along."

"And now?" Rose asked.

"Now I'm crossing my own time stream in the biggest way possible. I'm really not supposed to be here."

The Doctor led Rose through the graveyard. Between hundreds upon hundreds of those old headstones. The further they went the worse she felt. Her stomach seemed to be folding in on itself, and she dared not try and read any of the names carved into the stones. The Doctor stopped and Rose looked up. Before them was the TARDIS. But it was huge. Like a great big monument. As Rose looked at it she felt her blood run cold. Lightning tore across the darkened sky like a warning, daring them to tread any further.

"When a TARDIS is dying," the Doctor explained, his voice sad as though he was talking about a very old, long lost friend. And Rose supposed in a way he was. "...sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak."

"The bigger on the inside leaks to the outside," Rose concluded.

"Yes."

"But if that's the TARDIS..." Rose swallowed hard. "...dying," she finished with some difficulty. "Then where are you?"

"Inside." His response only confirmed what Rose already feared. "What else would they bury me in?" he muttered as he walked away towards the big, dying ship. When he noticed Rose wasn't following he stopped and glanced back at her. "Coming?" he asked.

"Why?" Rose wanted to know, reluctant to take so much as one step closer. "You think I'll be buried there beside you? Is that what you want to show me?"

The Doctor took a painful breath, clenching his jaw tight. The thought of any kind of harm coming to Rose was worse than anything else he could imagine. That was why at the thought of it he'd completely lost his head. He was sure he wouldn't know any kind of peace until he'd gotten her to agree to put on that cursed bracelet and run. He needed her to run. Fast and far.

"Yes," the Doctor answered her. "And I want you to take a good long look, Rose. Because this is where you'll end up if you don't run this time."

Rose stood frozen, staring at him. It looked for a second as though she was debating whether a slap would do or if she should just kill him then and there and be done with it. Then she marched over and did neither. She kissed him. Just like that. And every part of him responded immediately. He felt her inside. Her mind, her presence filling every inch of his. There was a lot of passion in that one moment. For a moment was as long as it lasted.

"And what makes you think I'd want anything else?" Rose said, her face staying close enough that he felt her breath as she spoke. "Remember on that impossible planet? The devil, it said I was going to die in battle."

"Rose, it was wrong. It was lying."

But Rose shook her head. "No, it was clever. You said so yourself. It saw who we were. All of us. And I bet you it wasn't hard for it to figure you and me out."

"You aren't going to die in battle," the Doctor told her. "I won't let that happen."

"Doctor, don't you get it? When I chose to stay with you, I chose this too. I knew my life would never be chips and work and catching the bus ever again. And I didn't want it to be."

The Doctor touched Rose's hair, her shoulders, not able to help admiring her never wavering bravery.

"But I need you to go," he said then. "This time I need you to run." Rose shook her head. She was an amazing creature. The most incredible one he'd ever met because despite all that she'd been put through she had not only remained brave but compassionate. It took a special person to face so much adversity and still be able to care for others as she did. That boy, lying unconscious but alive inside the TARDIS was proof of that. The Doctor however was different. Losing Rose had hardened him. The longer he'd lived with the pain the less he'd cared about the consequences. The collateral damage he left in his wake.

The Doctor leaned his forehead against hers. This marvelous girl he would love until his hearts stopped beating and his bones were dust. "Why are you not afraid?' he asked, "Tell me that."

"I'm not afraid to die," Rose said. "I'm afraid I won't have lived."

"That's why you have to go," he said. But Rose shook her head.

"No, I don't, stupid." The Doctor surprisingly chuckled at that. Though the sound of it tasted a touch bitter. "That's why I have to stay," Rose pressed. "Do you really think I'm going to waste any more time? We've lost enough of it, don't you think?"

The Doctor straightened. "Rose, I can't fight this war the way I need to if I'm...-"

"You don't have to worry about me," Rose interrupted with a bit of impatience. "You know I can take care of myself."

"Oh, I do," he said. "But I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me." He breathed in a hasty, shaky breath. "Rose, at the thought of you... dying... It... I can't think... I can't."

"Then don't die," Rose repeated her earlier words.

"Did you forget where we are?" the Doctor asked, glancing around at all the headstones, fearing more than anything that one of them held Rose's name.

"That means nothing," Rose said and he looked at her in confusion. "All that means..." Rose pointed at the huge dying TARDIS towering up above them. "...is that one day you'll be buried here. One day. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or even ten years from now. Does it?"

He avoided her gaze.

"Does it?" she repeated with more force. She caught his face between her palms before he could turn away completely. "Doctor, no one knows or even should know when the end comes, not even you. Now we are going back and we will continue this fight. And we'll do everything we can to keep everyone alive and save Gallifrey. That's what we're going to do, yeah?"

The Doctor smiled a little. He couldn't help it because despite it all her words warmed him to his very core. She was so adamant. So very Rose. All he was: was afraid. Afraid of losing her. Afraid he couldn't measure up. Afraid of failing. And a thousand other things that scared the hell out of him where she was concerned.

But there was one thing he knew with absolute certainty; he was never as good as when he was with her. She had always made him better. Made him strive to be the man she saw, the man he knew deep down he could and wanted to be. Even though every bone in his body screamed at him to get her somewhere safe, he also knew that their chances of winning this battle was never as great as when they were fighting it together.

"I do like the sound of that," he said.

"What?" Rose asked.

"We."

Rose smiled. Everything changed when Rose smiled. He'd taken her here because he'd thought it was the only thing that could possibly scare her into running. But he should have known by now that even scared Rose Tyler didn't run. She was challenging him, he knew. Challenging him to be the man he'd once been. The one who didn't run, who didn't use guns, who didn't forget. Who knew just how many children there had been on Gallifrey that day because he knew that every single child mattered. She was reminding him of the man she fell in love with. The one who trusted her to make her own choices about her life and just what she wanted to do with it. The man who had trusted her with everything he was. The man he had to somehow find his way back to.

The Doctor's thumbs brushed against Rose's jaw. He couldn't stop himself touching her but he was touching her carefully because it took so little for the bond to ignite. But in that moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Kiss her like she'd just kissed him. Quickly and impulsively, just because he could. He could, he realised. He could kiss Rose. He could kiss her and hold her and do all those things he'd thought he never would be able to do again.

"Yeah, guys?" But sadly it seemed Lex had apparently woken up. "I know you're all kinda weird n' all but snogging in a graveyard?" The Doctor reluctantly lifted his head and looked over at the kid. "That's just a bit morbid though isn't it?" Lex said. The Doctor would have glared at him but Lex was smiling. He held up his hands in a casual show of surrender. "If you don't mind me saying," he said.

Rose spun away from the Doctor. She rushed over and actually threw her arms around Lex hugging him so hard his face was turning beet red. The boy struggled for words for a moment or two.

"Why is she hugging me?" Lex managed to get out as his arms flayed about. "It's not because we're in a graveyard is it? I mean that's not like a thing or..."

"She's hugging you, you idiot..." the Doctor interrupted as he came walking over. "Because she's glad you're not dead."

"Oh." Lex gave Rose a quick, slightly awkward hug back."Me too then," he agreed and Rose released him, grinning. Lex turned even redder at that. The Doctor wasn't surprised. The full force of Rose Tyler's smile was not something you walked away from unscathed. "So... ah..." Lex shoved his hands in his pockets. "Weirdest thing," he said, pointing back behind him. "Saw a headstone with my mum's name on it."

"You did?" Rose asked in surprise.

"Yeah."

Rose glanced back at the Doctor. "But we know she didn't die here," Rose remarked. Robert had told them his wife had been taken by the Weeping Angels. The Doctor looked at all the headstones.

"The stones are not just for the dead then," he said. "It's for the memory of the lost ones too. Ones lost long before I got here."

"Okay, so what are you talking about?" Lex asked. The Doctor and Rose glanced briefly at each other. Probably best not to go into detail. Any sort of detail, they silently agreed.

The Doctor quickly threw his arm over Lex's shoulders, urging him back towards the TARDIS.

"Foreknowledge is a dangerous thing, you know," he said. "You run the risk of cataclysmic alterations to the space-time continuum, resulting in potential time-shifts, de-polarisation of the time vortex, even space monkeys." The Doctor glanced back and gave Rose a wink where she followed behind them. She grinned, shaking her head.

"Space monkeys?" Lex asked, sounding truly alarmed at this. The Doctor nodded sagely as he steered the boy back inside the TARDIS.

"Really dreadful creatures," he said. His focus not on Lex anymore but on Rose.

"What's a monkey?" Rose heard a mutter from inside the ship.

The Doctor stood in the opening to the TARDIS. He turned to fully face Rose while Lex disappeared inside.

"Back into battle?" he asked her. Rose nodded, placing her hand right next to his where it rested on the doorframe.

"You know sending me away never works," Rose reminded him.

"I can't help that saving you is my first instinct," the Doctor countered. "Always has been, always will."

"I get it, Doctor," Rose replied. "Don't think that I don't. I know all about giving up everything to save someone you... love." He gave her a smile he was sure rather surprised the both of them. Then he nodded and spun, heading inside the TARDIS only to pop his head quickly back out again before Rose had a chance to follow.

"Just so we're clear," he said. "We are talking about me, right?" He pointed at himself as though she needed further clarification. Rose pushed him inside the ship.

"Get in, you great big alien," she laughed.

Rose closed the door behind her, following the Doctor inside. Lex was sitting on the jump-seat, looking both scared and mesmerised at the same time.

"You know this thing is sorta bigger on the inside," he remarked.

"Oh, you noticed that?" the Doctor smiled. "He noticed," he said to Rose. "Clever, one this."

"By the way..." Rose held on to the Doctor's shoulder as she whispered in his ear. "Are there really space monkeys?"

"Of course there are space monkeys," he immediately confirmed. "What kind of question is that, are there space monkeys?"

"Ah, right," Rose agreed with a healthy dose of sarcasm. "So, they must be the ones that keep messing up your study then, yeah? And strewing engine parts all over the place?"

"Yes," the Doctor readily agreed. "And ruining your bed and throwing all your clothes on the floor." Rose grinned back at him.

"Now it makes sense," she said. It all made perfect sense.

He kept grinning as he made his way backwards towards the console as though he couldn't quite risk taking his eyes off her. Rose followed, fighting the urge to laugh for no reason. They moved easily together, almost like a dance. Until the Doctor clumsily bumped into the console and Rose snickered, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I meant to do that," he said.

"Obviously," Rose agreed, chuckling as she joined him.

The Doctor fumbled at the controls. But finally he managed to power up the TARDIS, Rose helping him get the ship quickly into flight. The TARDIS did not object, undoubtedly wanting to get out there as much as the rest of them.

The Doctor and Rose scrambled around the console, always in a mad dash to steer. Then Rose looked up, her eyes meeting the Doctor's across the console and they both smiled simply because they'd both done it at the same time.

"So how exactly is it bigger on the inside?" Lex interrupted them, clearly unable to let this go. Rose tore her gaze from the Doctor's with some difficulty.

"I could explain it to you..." she said, looking over at Lex. "… or he could…" She nodded towards the Doctor. "…if you want a bunch of big long words that he thinks makes him sound important that is."

The Doctor paused. "Hey," he said with indignation. But Rose gave him a smile that immediately melted the frown from his face.

"It's really best not to think so much about it and just accept it," Rose told Lex.

Lex nodded as his gaze ran over the ceiling and the lights flashing over the console.

"The twins would go mental if they saw this," he said.

"Yeah, I bet they'd love it," Rose agreed.

"Rose!" the Doctor called out with a touch of annoyance. She turned her head and saw him pointing at a series of buttons. She immediately hurried over. "If you're gonna help then help."

"I am," Rose said as she pressed the buttons he'd indicated. "Rather brilliantly if I do say so myself." The Doctor brushed past her on his way around the console.

"You are brilliant," he agreed on a whisper over her shoulder.

Rose moved in the opposite direction, unable to help but smile at his praise. She turned a few dials to narrow down the landing time. They couldn't afford to make any mistakes after all.

The Doctor came back around to Rose, his arm touching hers as he pressed several buttons to stabalise the engine feed. The pair of them stood really close. Close enough that every part of them that could touch did. Rose resisted the urge to lean into him. If she did she'd lose her balance.

 _I'd catch you_ , she heard the Doctor across the bond.

And just as she did the TARDIS tilted, Rose knocking into the Doctor. They both laughed, the Doctor's arm coming around her waist to steady her. Rose righted herself and the Doctor's hand lingered for just a moment at the small of her back before letting go.

 _Good to know_ , Rose told him back and he smiled. She thought she caught Lex rolling his eyes from where he sat. But she supposed her and the Doctor had pretty much earned that so she chose to ignored it.

One reason it made it that much easier to ignore was that Rose was mainly focused on how wonderful it was to feel the Doctor inside her head, to share that connection again, that level of trust. It felt so good she even ignored the warning bells ringing at the back of her mind. Warning bells telling her that this moment was the calm before the storm and soon everything might come crashing down.

But for right now that didn't matter. For right now it was just her and the Doctor flying the TARDIS as though they'd never been apart. The pair of them taking any excuse to touch or stand too close than was really necessary. It was them running about trying to steer a ship that was about just as mad as they were, laughing and grinning stupidly at each other as they did.

There was still a war. Still a battle that needed to be fought but in this one moment all that mattered was them and they were alright.


	67. Chapter 67 - The question

**I know this has taken me way long to post again and I'm really sorry about that. I can't seem to keep the last few chapters as short as I would like. They keep becoming these monster chapters and I have to go back and scale down again.**

 **I have to say a thank you to the favs and follows and the reviewers. You guys are so wonderful and there will never be a better push to keep at it than reading about what you think or getting that email that says someone followed the story. I still can't believe so many of you do seem to like it. It's this amazing marvel to me and I could never explain how incredible it is. So a very special thank you to all of you!**

Chapter 67 – The question

"You know, my dad totally knew you were a couple straight away," Lex said, making both the Doctor and Rose pause as they flew the TARDIS.

"Why would he have thought that?" Rose asked. "All we did was argue and..."

"Somethin' about the way you looked at each other when the other one wasn't lookin'," Lex explained thoughtfully. The Doctor's gaze fell to the gears in front of him. "Something about yearning and pain and…. I suppose he was trying to be poetic. Kinda like when he talks about... other things."

"Seems your father have a lot of opinions on the matter," the Doctor muttered and Rose couldn't help but smile a little. She knew, whether he would ever admit it or not, that the Doctor enjoyed being a mystery to most people. He didn't much like it when they saw right through him.

"Yeah, I guess," Lex allowed. "But like, is that what it does to you then? Makes you talk nonsense all day long? Cus my dad does that a lot."

The Doctor paused, looking over at the boy where he sat.

"Yes," he said, his smile turning secretive. "It does. But," The Doctor held up one finger, "it is only nonsense to those you do not know of it. It's rather difficult describing a feeling to someone who's never felt it. Like describing what strawberries taste like." The Doctor returned to the levers and gears. "Or fish-fingers and custard," he added happily.

"Now you sound just like him," Lex accused, and Rose snickered. The Doctor peaked out from behind the time rotor, looking affronted.

"Hey, well..." he began, "As it so happens, your father is just a very smart man. Brilliant man. I love your dad. Wish he'd rubbed off on you obviously."

"So he was right then?" Lex asked, ignoring the insult, and Rose saw how it dawned on the Doctor that he'd just blundered straight into that one. "You two were a couple all along?" Lex pointed back and forth between the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor glanced over at her, his expression pleading for her to save him. But all Rose did was smile.

"Well I... I mean..." The Doctor pressed buttons as he struggled to string a sensible amount of words together. Lex just looked at him with a far too innocent expression on his face. "We weren't... I mean – no – not really..." Rose couldn't help it. She had to take pity on him. She leaned across the console, catching Lex's eye.

"Lex, my boy this is one of those complicated things you'll understand one day. Strawberries, remember?"

"It's just…" he trailed off for a moment. "My dad he… after we lost mum he's different."

"Losing someone like that its..." Rose trailed off as she searched for the right words. She had understood that Robert had loved his wife a great deal. She imagined it was why he stayed so focused on those charts and calculations and why it had fallen upon Lex to more or less take care of the twins. There was that fracture in Robert's eyes that Rose knew all too well. It mirrored a broken heart. "Just be there for him, yeah?" Rose said kindly. "Remind him he hasn't lost everything." Lex nodded.

Rose smiled at Lex before she returned to helping the Doctor steer the TARDIS.

"I don't think he was right anyway," Lex finally said, his tone turning a bit more cheerful.

"Yeah?" Rose was only half paying attention as the Doctor was pointing rather insistently at a section of buttons. Lex shook his head.

"No, to me it seems it's more like how you look when you really are looking at each other. Like really looking."

Rose pushed back and came around the console to Lex. She leaned her hip against the edge, folding her arms across her chest. She gave Lex her full attention while the Doctor paused but didn't let it show he was listening. Or he thought that's what he did.

"And how's that?" Rose pressed when Lex didn't elaborate. The kid squirmed now, probably regretting he'd said anything at all on this topic. Rose leaned forward a little. "Yes, Lex?"

"I don't have any fancy words like you or my dad obviously, but you look at each other like you know exactly what the other one is thinking..," he said and his gaze moved to fasten on the ceiling. "...and it's what you both look like without your clothes on or something." Rose burst out laughing. "I swear, it's super freaky," Lex added, scrunching up his face in disgust.

The Doctor turned beat red and rubbed at his head. He quickly became extremely focused on the controls in front of him while Rose just couldn't stop laughing. Until Lex was laughing too and the Doctor, in pure mortification hid behind the time rotor.

The amazing sound of the TARDIS engines filled the room, signalling that they'd landed.

"All right, we're here," the Doctor muttered, coming around the console, his gaze fixed firmly on his shoes. Lex jumped to his feet. His face about as red as the Doctor's, but he still managed to somehow look proud. And in that moment, he reminded Rose very much of a young Captain Jack.

The Doctor casually clasped Rose's waist, urging her ahead of him towards the doors while Rose was still doubled over laughing. "Okay, moving now," the Doctor told her, and Rose continued to giggle as she did. "It wasn't that funny," the Doctor remarked.

"It was hilarious," Rose said.

"How's that?" the Doctor muttered. Rose spun, making him stop, his hands still around her waist. She leaned a little closer.

"Because he was right," she whispered, drawing back and giving him that tongue-in- teeth smile that frankly made him absolutely weak in the knees. Actual schoolboy-weak in the knees. But before the Doctor had a chance to utter any form of reply Rose had spun away again and hurried after Lex and out the door.

The Doctor had to give himself a mental slap before he was able to follow. With River he'd always had a clever comeback but Rose could leave him tongue-tied with just a smile. There was no one like her in entire the universe and there never would be again. Not for him. Rose would always be it and there was a terrifying finality to that. Knowing there was only her. Would, for as long as time turned, only be her.

As the Doctor exited the TARDIS, he very nearly bumped straight into her and Lex.

"What are-" but he fell silent almost immediately. Destruction was everywhere. Half the square was blown to bits, the old church equally so. The bell tower appeared to have fallen onto the rest of the structure, the whole thing having collapsed into nothing more than a pile of stones and rubble. Behind the church, trees stood blackened and burned. How much of the forest had been destroyed was impossible to judge, but it looked from where they stood as though it might as well be all of it. The smell of smoke was sharp and rank. Sparks from the fire that must have burned but a moment ago drifted on the air among the snowflakes like dying fireflies.

Lex was the first to snap out of the initial shock. He ran for the old church, already screaming the names of his family. The Doctor made to follow, to stop him. They didn't know what they would find or if Lex wanted to see it. But Rose clasped his sleeve tightly, halting him.

"Doctor." She nodded behind him and he turned. He'd been wrong. Those sparks that danced among the snowflakes were not from a fire that just died, they were from fires still raging.

All over the small town, houses burned and more were lit as they watched. What did it, the Doctor and Rose couldn't tell, but it was efficient. The flames licked the wooden homes and engulfed the ones in stone. The heat would break the structures until they fell like the bell tower. There was no saving this town. All they could do was be grateful it had been empty. Houses could be rebuilt. People could not.

"We need to get Lex," the Doctor said. "Rose, come on."

"It looks like the end of the world." Rose stared at the destruction, unable to look away. They hadn't been gone for long and yet in that time everything was either ruined or about to be.

"It's just stones and wood, Rose, come on." The Doctor took her hand, pulling her with him. Rose hurried along, focusing her mind on what was important. The family that had chosen to stand with them. The family they'd abandoned.

They rushed up the steps and through the entrance to the church. The entrance still stood but the doors had fallen and most of the walls were gone. Nothing but stones and dust now.

They walked among the rubble, making their way towards Lex who was trying to push a big piece of stone out of the way that led to the basement. It took Rose a surprisingly long time to realise that among the broken walls and shattered things were pieces of Daleks and Cybermen. Torn bits of Dalekanium and crushed metal limbs.

The Doctor and Rose hurried to help Lex. It took the combined strength of all three to push the stone away. The minute it was gone, Lex rushed down the stairs. Most of the steps were still intact, but the walls were blackened and smoke filled the air. They rushed after Lex even though they had no idea what they were going to find down there. Then they heard voices.

Lex was blindly running but the Doctor managed to grab a hold of the kid's collar and yank him back before he blundered straight into danger. The voices were a bit muffled but Rose thought at least one of them was female. The Doctor signalled for both Rose and Lex to be quiet before he walked down the rest of the steps as carefully and soundlessly as he could.

Rose quickly gave Lex the same signal that the Doctor had, putting her finger to her lips to urge him to stay quiet. Then she made her way down the steps after the Doctor. She peaked her head out, right next to him, looking into the room where Robert had spent so much time.

The room was in shambles. Bookcases were knocked over, broken furniture scattered everywhere, the walls blackened by fire. And in the midst of it all stood Annabelle and Elsa Conn.

"So odd," Elsa told her sister. "The feeling is completely gone." Elsa scratched at her arms as though remembering an itch. "Before I couldn't bear to set foot in here."

"I know," Annabelle agreed. The aversion field must be down for some reason, Rose thought. Perhaps it had been destroyed when the building collapsed or perhaps Annabelle and Elsa had found a way to deactivate it themselves.

A cleric suddenly came into view and the Doctor and Rose immediately pulled back to keep him from seeing them.

"It's ready," he said, sounding a bit uneasy. "But I don't...-" He never finished. A shot was fired and the cleric didn't speak again.

"Elsa," Annabelle reprimanded.

"The child was getting on my nerves," Elsa said in defence. "Weakling. Should have died in the initial assault."

Rose's hands clenched into fists. Elsa just shot one of their own, one she herself called a child because she thought him weak. Rose might share the Doctor's hatred of the Daleks in many regards but Rose thought she still hated Annabelle and Elsa Conn more. At least the Daleks couldn't help what they were. The Conn sisters had chosen their path. And they had chosen to walk it in blood.

Rose felt the Doctor's fingers wrap around her fist.

 _Careful, Rose,_ she heard softly in her mind, and she slowly forced herself to relax, not even realising that for just a second her eyes had flashed bright gold.

"Where is he!?" Both the Doctor and Rose started at Annabelle's sudden outburst. "I'm running out of time."

"My pets will find him. Or the Tyler girl. Don't worry, sister," Elsa assured. They heard Annabelle growl in frustration.

"Let's go," she told Elsa. "Let's make sure that boy didn't make any mistakes."

Rose raised her eyes to the Doctor. _Running out of time?_ She asked him across the bond. He shook his shoulders as to say he didn't know. Then Lex came hurrying down to them.

"Something's coming," he whispered in a hurried rush. Both Rose and the Doctor paused to listen. Lex was right. Something was coming. From upstairs. It sounded like footsteps but harsh ones. Hard enough to break the stone floor as it moved.

The Doctor peaked out into the room. Annabelle and Elsa Conn had left. The room was empty. The Doctor made a motion with his hand for Rose and Lex to follow him, and the three of them tip toed their way ahead. Rose could feel her heart beating like a drum inside her chest, the beats vibrating through her whole body.

Lex was looking frantically about, clearly searching for some indication as to what had happened to his family. But besides the obvious destruction there was none.

"DOC-TOR LO-CATED!"

All three of them spun as a Dalek suddenly came forth from behind a bookcase that was somehow still standing.

"EX-TERMINATE!" It shot at them, and the Doctor, Rose and Lex ducked. What they'd heard coming down the stairs emerged from the stairwell. It was Elsa's two pet Daleks. The ones twisted and deformed to her liking. The ones with exterminator guns that didn't work as well as they should which meant they practically cooked you alive. The insect-like mechanic legs hit hard into the stone floor as they came into the room, their movements twitchy.

Since their armour lay opened, one could see the true Dalek inside. Though their tentacled limbs twitched and their eye blinked, they looked more dead than alive. As though they were simply part of the circuitry. Nothing more.

The Doctor shoved Rose and Lex ahead of him. "Run!" he screamed.

"EX... EXT... EXTER..." the two twisted Daleks stuttered as they twitched forward. Then Annabelle came bursting forth, Elsa hot on her heals. Annabelle's eyes widened in shock as she saw the Doctor and Rose.

"Don't kill them!" she screamed.

"THE DOC-TOR IS AN ENEMY OF THE DA-LEKS!" the proper Dalek declared. "HE WILL BE EX-TERMINATED!" And the Dalek shot at them again. Rose, Lex and the Doctor ran towards the kitchen door, somehow managing to avoid being shot and killed.

"Elsa," was all Annabelle said and Elsa apparently knew immediately what her sister wanted.

"Destroy the Dalek!" she shouted at her pets. The two grotesquely misshapen Daleks turned on the proper one and fired.

The Dalek screamed. It screamed in agony as it died, killed by what had once been its own kind. The sound was so horrible that it made both Rose and the Doctor pause. The armour opened just in time for everyone to see the Dalek inside explode. Rose had no love for them but no one and nothing deserved to die like that.

"G... go," the Doctor stuttered, urging Rose and Lex through the door and into the kitchen.

"This way!" Lex called out. "We can go out the back." Rose and the Doctor ran after Lex as he rushed through what was left of the kitchen.

They stumbled over ruined counters and were forced to run around sections where the ceiling had caved in. Behind them they heard Elsa's Daleks entered the kitchen just as they ran up the stairs to the backdoor.

Lex grabbed the handle and pulled. The door didn't budge. Lex stared at it for a moment in shock.

"It's locked," he said in disbelief. He spun on the Doctor. "Wait, you have that magic, screwdriver thing," he said and the Doctor made a face. "Open it." Lex stepped to the side.

"Yeah, that's not gonna help," Rose said before the Doctor could. She spun around, searching hastily for anything they might use to pry the door opened or bash it or something.

"What do you mean it won't help?" Lex looked bewildered. The Doctor was running his fingers through his hair, looking pained and exasperated while Rose rummaged through debris on the floor at the bottom of the steps. "Would one of you talk to me?!" Lex shouted.

"Doesn't do wood," the Doctor said with an apologetic shrug.

"I'm sorry what?" Lex asked. "For a second there I thought you said your brilliant Time Lord magic thing didn't do wood?!"

"It doesn't!" The Doctor shouted back. "Nothing's perfect," he added petulantly.

"Nothing's perf...-" Lex put his fist in his mouth and bit his knuckles to stop some profanity, that would certainly had earned him a scolding from his father, from escaping.

Rose emerged with some kind of bent and twisted piece of metal.

"Lex, help me," she ordered the boy. He immediately turned to help Rose. They managed to wiggle the metal into the doorjamb and they both pulled as hard as they could in an attempt to pry the door opened.

"Doctor?" came Annabelle's voice. "Agent Tyler?" Rose and Lex both ground their teeth with the exertion of trying to get the door opened. "There's really little point in running." Annabelle was getting steadily closer.

The Doctor looked back at Rose and she immediately raised her head.

 _Get the boy some place safe_ , the Doctor told her across the bond. _I'll buy you time._

Rose immediately shook her head. _No_. No. But the Doctor was already moving. _Doctor!_ Rose shouted across the bond. _Doctor!_

"Rose!" Lex pulled her attention back, and reluctantly she focused on the metal bar as the Doctor disappeared out of sight. Rose put all of her weight into it, her muscles straining as she pulled on the metal bar. Lex groaned with the effort. They could both hear those horribly deformed Daleks moving through the kitchen by the tapping sound their mechanical legs made as they struck the floor. Rose's heart clenched painfully inside her chest at the thought of the Doctor standing face to face with them. One word from Elsa or Annabelle and he would die in agony.

Suddenly the door snapped opened. Wood splintered and the cool winter wind swept inside, taking a dust of snow with it. Lex was halfway out before he realised Rose wasn't following. She was looking back the way the Doctor had disappeared. "Rose?"

"I can't leave him," Rose said, feeling the truth of that statement as though it was burned into her skin.

"I have to find my family," Lex told her apologetically. "My dad, the twins." Rose nodded as she turned her head towards Lex.

"Go," Rose said. "There were dead Daleks and Cybermen upstairs. I bet you it was the twins who finally blew this place up. They're probably out there somewhere. Hiding." Lex nodded. But Rose saw a hint of reluctance in his eyes. "We'll be fine," she assured him. "I'll keep him safe," she promised. "I always keep him safe."

"And who keeps you safe?" Lex asked and for a moment he seemed old beyond his years. Rose gave him a small smile.

"The Doctor does," she assured him. "We look out for each other. Don't worry." Lex looked as though he struggled for just a second.

"Well, just don't die on us," he told her before hurrying out into the cold, war ravaged night.

"That goes for you lot too!" Rose called after him. But the wind took her words and carried them away so she wasn't sure he heard her.

Rose turned and walked back the same way the Doctor had. But as the sound of his voice reached her she quickly hunkered down behind a blackened kitchen counter. Foolish to give the Conn sisters two targets after all. Rose made her way forwards, staying low and hidden. Until she heard their voices crisp and clear. She carefully peaked out behind a heap of rubble, seeing the Doctor standing in front of Annabelle and Elsa. The pair of them was flanked by those horrid Daleks, the look of them making Rose's stomach turn.

"What do you want, Annabelle?" the Doctor was asking.

"I want to save the universe," Annabelle replied to which the Doctor scoffed.

"You only ever wanted to save yourself," the Doctor said. "I only have to take a look at your sister to see that hasn't changed."

"I didn't take anything that wasn't offered," Annabelle explained calmly.

"Saving Annabelle is my purpose," Rose heard Elsa add and, by the sound of it, it was a phrase she had repeated many times. "It was the only reason our parents had the original Elsa and the only reason Davros created me. I'll gladly serve that purpose."

"That is wrong on so many levels," the Doctor said. "You are your own person Elsa. You can have your own life." For some reason those words made Rose think of the man the Doctor had been. The one before everything fell apart. It was such a Doctor thing to say. Wasn't it? He'd used to value life to such an extent he fought for every single one no matter how small. He hadn't been so hard back then because he hadn't needed to. Her betrayal had made this version of him hard. But he didn't have to be either. Not anymore.

As Rose watched she saw some strange sliver of humanity winked to life in Annabelle's eyes for just a second before it vanished again. But Elsa mostly looked bored, the Doctor's words having no effect on her at all.

There was silence for a moment before Annabelle spoke. "You disappoint me, Doctor," she said, and if Rose didn't know Annabelle she would have thought there was genuine hurt in her voice. "I thought you might not be as quick to judge as Agent Tyler. After all you have lived far longer. Should be far wiser and perhaps given your own history a bit more forgiving."

"Once perhaps," the Doctor admitted. "But I'm afraid I've lost too much. There isn't much room for compassion anymore."

"You haven't lost her." It was Elsa, running her hand over one of her Daleks as she spoke. It was casual and almost affectionate as though she wasn't patting a mindless killing machine but a favoured pet.

"Rose is none of your business," the Doctor said, not even pretending not to know whom Elsa was talking about.

"Just thought I'd remind you that you do still have something to lose," Elsa pointed out, earning a dark glare from the Doctor. Dark enough that it made the woman pause.

"Enough, Elsa," Annabelle reprimanded before turning to the Doctor. "I'm trying to do something here," she said to him. "And you know I'm right. You know you can't bring them back or you would have done so already."

The Doctor shifted. A telltale sign of unease. Because yes, maybe Annabelle was right and there would never be a day when it was safe to bring Gallifrey back, but it was still the Doctor's home, his people. How could he ever leave them in that desolate empty bit of space, trapped for all time?

"Doctor, please..." Rose practically started at the word. It was one she'd never thought to hear pass Annabelle Conn's lips. "... We've found a way to seal the rift." Annabelle took a step towards him and Rose had to fight the impulse to get up from her hiding place and shove the woman away. "You can trust me," she said with, what sounded like actual honesty.

"Trust you?" The Doctor sounded doubtful. Even though they must all be under the influence of the truth-field Rose was sure Annabelle could be as creative as the Doctor in telling it.

"I saved the woman you love," Annabelle reminded him. "She would be mad or dead by now if it wasn't for me."

"Rose never trusted you," the Doctor pointed out.

"She should," Annabelle said. "After everything I've done for her. After Davros fell I haven't denied either of you anything. All I've done is help."

"You've threatened to kill us."

"Because you are wrong this time," Annabelle said. "The universe would fall into war and chaos. Millions would die..."

"And you care?" the Doctor interrupted her. Annabelle's eyes sharpened on him. For a moment it looked as though she struggled to speak and her eyes filled with what appeared to be genuine surprise that he'd say such a thing. Then she reached inside a pocket on the black sleek coat she was wearing and withdrew the bracelet she had made for Rose. The one that blocked off the bond and had once helped keep Rose alive.

Annabelle tossed it to the Doctor who caught it. He opened his hands, staring at the bracelet in disbelief.

"I know you don't like it but it can help her. Help both of you," Annabelle said. "If the need should arise."

"Why would you give me this?" the Doctor asked.

"I don't have to be your enemy, Doctor," Annabelle said instead of answering his question. "I have a duty as the Mother Superious to protect this world and you have stood as its guardian for a very long time. Don't abandon it now."

The Doctor looked up at Annabelle, and Rose knew exactly what was running through his head. And it wasn't about protecting the world or whether or not to save his people. He was thinking he had the bracelet. Even if he should die, while Rose wore it, she might be spared.

"What exactly is it that you want from me?" the Doctor asked Annabelle. "You want something or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"We just need an answer to a very simple question," Elsa said in that too sweet way of hers.

"And what is that?"

Annabelle smiled. "Doctor who?" she said, her smile a little crocked. The Doctor started.

"What?"

"Doctor who?" Annabelle repeated. Rose felt a shiver of fear run down her spine like a drop of cold water. She did not like the sound of that. "That is the answer that will open the doorway is it not?"

The Doctor simply stared at Annabelle in utter confusion.

"I thought you wanted to seal it," he said.

"I do," Annabelle replied, and Rose spotted her biting her lip as though there'd been more to that sentence and she'd just managed to stop herself from saying it. "But it can only be done from the other side."

"How do you figure?"

"We built a device. It will cancel out the energy holding the rift opened. But it needs to be set off on both sides. The rift will seal and we will all be safe."

"Just give us the answer and we'll do the rest," Elsa said.

Rose could tell the Doctor was considering it even for just a second. For a moment the temptation to relinquish responsibility flared up. He could walk away. He could let Annabelle and Elsa Conn seal the rift and live the rest of his life far away but always knowing he'd betrayed his people a second time. Betrayed them to save everything else but betrayed them none the less. And at the end of the day the Doctor was not the kind of man who relinquished responsibility. He took it, carried it even when it wasn't his and this time it most certainly was.

"And if I refuse?" the Doctor asked. Annabelle's face grew guarded and if Rose wasn't mistaken a little bit sad.

"We'll let the Daleks and the Cybermen, the Sontarens and the Slitheen, all your greatest enemies handle it instead."

"They'll set off a nova bomb. They're preparing it as we speak." Elsa's eyes were following the path her fingers were making on the Dalek's armour.

"A nova bomb has the power of a collapsing star." There was genuine terror in the Doctor's voice.

"Yes," Annabelle agreed. "I believe the Daleks learned the technology from you. From the Time Lords during that great big war of yours."

"It would destroy them all," the Doctor stated. "Even this whole planet and everything on it."

"Yes, it will," Elsa was the one agreeing now. Though Annabelle was either making a good show of caring or she actually did, Elsa didn't seem to be bothered by genocide at all. The clone had even less of a heart than the original had.

"Rose," the Doctor said suddenly. Rose froze. "You can come out now," he said. Rose sighed and got out from her hiding place. Elsa looked surprised at seeing her but Annabelle didn't. She'd known she was there.

"I knew you wouldn't do as I told you," the Doctor muttered as he met her eye.

"Do I ever?" Rose countered with a smile. She walked over, slipping her hand easily into his. The touch sent a spark through both of them. But most of all it felt like a key fitting perfectly into a lock and clicking smoothly into place.

"No," he admitted, drawing the word out while jutting out his chin.

"Guess you should just stop trying then."

"Clearly," the Doctor agreed.

"Agent Tyler, what a pleasant surprise," Annabelle interrupted them.

Both Rose and the Doctor took a breath, pulling their attention away from each other with some difficulty.

"Yeah, not really." Rose made a face. Pleasant surprises were unexpected presents or breakfast in bed, never Annabelle Conn.

"Careful, Agent. Need I tell you I am your best option here?" Annabelle asked. "You all fought valiantly but you can't win this war. They are burning the town to the ground. This place has crumbled..."

"Yeah, how did that happen?" Rose asked and she saw the slight sliver of time it took Annabelle to try to lie.

"Not sure," she said then. "They went in. Mostly Daleks and Cybermen and then everything blew up. The bell tower collapsed."

"Did you find anyone in here?" Rose pressed. "Human."

Annabelle levelled her gaze on Rose. "Not one."

Rose tried to not let her relief show. It must have been the twins and Robert. They must have lured the Daleks and Cybers inside and then blown the place up. It meant they must be alive somewhere. She gave a silent prayer, hoping Lex would find them.

Elsa gave up her petting of the Dalek.

"So what will it be, children?" she asked, straightening. The Doctor and Rose stared at her for a moment. Out of all of them surely Elsa was the one who had lived the shortest amount of time and the Doctor by far the longest. "The clock is ticking," Elsa said, sounding bored with it all. "Tick, tock."

 _Whatever you decide I'm with you_ , Rose told the Doctor across the bond. She saw his lips twitch in a weak smile. But, however slight, there was definite gratitude in it. Coward or killer, she would always stand with him.

"I need to see this device you've built," the Doctor told Annabelle. She nodded, clearly having expected this.

"Of course. It's by the rift." She held out her hand, inviting them to proceed.

 _I don't like this_ , Rose told the Doctor by thought alone. They walked past Annabelle and Elsa, being extra weary of those Daleks. They made their way back to Robert's chart-room. _Feels wrong._

 _I know,_ the Doctor replied.

 _But the truth-field. She can't lie though, can she?_ Rose asked _._

 _Not outright_ , the Doctor responded. _But by omission? Most definitely._

The Doctor and Rose led the way through the room. Charts lay everywhere, some charred and some turned to ash. The body of the cleric Elsa had shot for no reason at all still lay on the floor. The room was barely recognisable. Death and destruction ruled it now.

They walked into the dark corner, the pale glow from the crack in the wall the only illumination. At its base stood two large cylinders, each glowing faintly with an ominous red light. Those must be the devices Annabelle had talked about, Rose thought.

The Doctor let go of Rose's hand and hunkered down, running the sonic quickly over the cylinders. He flicked his wrist in that casual motion, the claws extending at the top of the screwdriver. He took in the readings.

"Well, Time Lord?" Elsa drawled. He glanced back over his shoulder at Rose.

"They are what she says they are," he confirmed, getting to his feet. "Not a bad bit of technology actually," he admitted and both Rose and the Doctor were reminded that Annabelle was clever.

"The answer then, Doctor," Annabelle said.

Just as she did, what was left of the building suddenly shook. The Doctor and Rose glanced around in alarm.

"And what exactly was that then?" Rose asked.

"Undoubtedly Daleks, or Cybermen," Elsa said conversationally, as though it was no big thing.

"We're running out of time," Annabelle said. "The answer, Doctor."

Rose watched as the Doctor's eyes drew from the ceiling to Annabelle. They had turned hard and impenetrable.

"I can't tell you that," he said to Annabelle. "I couldn't even if I wanted to." Stone dust fell from the ceiling. What were they trying to do up there? Rose thought. Bury them alive?

"Doctor...," Annabelle tried in a levelled voice.

"I can't," he interrupted her.

The next few seconds flew by in an instant. An instant too blurred and hasty to catch. Elsa leaned down and whispered something to one of her Daleks. There was a flash of light and suddenly Rose was on her knees. She'd hit the stone floor so hard it sent shockwaves through her bones. Her mind was telling her something was wrong but she couldn't comprehend what it was. Then the pain registered and it felt like it tore her insides apart. Ripped into her nervous system until the pain was so bad her body became numb. Numb like every nerve ending had been fried or her spine snapped in half.

Then finally her mind managed to catch up. She'd been shot with the broken Dalek gun. The one that didn't work as it should. The one that put such strain on the body that the heart eventually didn't simply give out but exploded inside your chest. Rose glanced down, expecting to see blood blooming through her sweater. But there was nothing. Whatever the damage it wouldn't show on the outside. It would be on the inside.

Rose looked up to see the Doctor about to throw himself towards her but he was halted as the Daleks swivelled towards him and Elsa's far too sweet voice filled the small space.

"Naw, naw Doctor," she said. Her voice was exactly the same, Rose thought. Sickly sweet. Just as when the original Elsa had held her in the basement at Torchwood.

Rose could see the strain it took for the Doctor to stay where he was and not rush towards her. Every muscle was tense, itching to let him move as he fought to not let the shock and the panic completely overwhelm him.

The Doctor swam out of focus as Rose's eyelids dropped.

 _Look at me_ , the Doctor immediately demanded across the bond. _Rose... Look at me!_

Rose's eyes fluttered opened. He was hazy but she could see him.

 _Everything is going to be alright._ His voice in her head was kind. He was trying so hard to ward of the panic. To be strong for her. Rose tried to smile at him, to reassure him but the smile turned out to be a weak and feeble thing that did nothing to reassure. _It's going to alright,_ he said again _. Rose, just keep looking at me_. _Everything's going to be alright._

All the while Annabelle was shouting at Elsa. Shouting horrible things at her sister that Rose had trouble hearing. But Elsa barely bothered defending herself.

"Come now, Doctor," Elsa said. But the Doctor couldn't tear his eyes from Rose. "Open that crack or I swear you'll watch your dear girl drown in her own blood. Your choice." To Rose's utter surprise Annabelle came over, kneeling down at Rose's side. She took one of her hands and Rose moved the fingers Annabelle clutched, feeling pinpricks rush up her arm, like when it woke up after having fallen asleep. And Rose wondered it that was a good thing or a bad one.

"I'm sorry," Annabelle whispered to Rose. "I... I..." she stuttered. Rose looked at Annabelle in confusion. She sounded so genuinely shocked. "I didn't want this," Annabelle said.

"Doctor, the answer!" Elsa demanded.

"Elsa!" Annabelle told her sharply. Elsa's eyes snapped to her sister's.

"I'm doing what has to be done," Elsa said. "For you, sister."

"I can't tell you the answer!" The Doctor's voice was panicked now. It fractured the tone. Made it break. Made it sound as though the words were torn out of him like shards of broken glass from a wound. "But.. just... just leave me alone. Give me a minute and I'll do it." He was talking so fast he was tripping over the words now. "I'll open the crack. I'll send one of the cylinders through. I'll do it." He would have promised anything. Made any vow.

"I'm afraid we can't trust that," Elsa said. "It is your own people you are locking away after all."

"I'll do it!" the Doctor screamed. "I'll do it! Please, please just let me help Rose. Let me..." He was reaching out his hands towards her and Rose wanted to reach for him in turn. But one of her hands was held tight in Annabelle's and the other she had no strength to raise.

Elsa took a couple of easy, smooth steps forwards, her back to her two misshapen Daleks and her eyes on the Doctor.

"No," Elsa said. "You'll give me the answer or the next shot will kill her!" Elsa pointed harshly at Rose. "I swear to you."

"I can't!" The Doctor looked close to tears. But they weren't the tears of sorrow or despair that you might have expected. They were tears of rage. Pure, undulated rage. If Elsa wasn't careful she'd push him over the edge. "There is only one way I can ever tell anyone my name." The Doctor's lips twisted almost cruelly as he threw the words at Elsa. "And unless you feel inclined to marry me on the spot that isn't going to happen!"

Elsa looked taken aback at that. Rose saw surprise even in Annabelle's eyes.

"What ridiculous Time Lordy thing is that?" Elsa asked.

"During a marriage ceremony I can tell my future wife," the Doctor said. "That is the only time and my wife, I'm sad to say is dead."

Both Annabelle's and Elsa's gazes flickered towards Rose who was still on her knees, breathing in short shallow breaths but still breathing none the less. She thought maybe the shot hadn't been intended to kill her. Only maim. Motivate.

"Not her," the Doctor ground out and despite the fact that Rose knew that statement meant nothing in the end it still hurt. It hurt even though the Doctor had sworn every life, every breath to Rose long before he ever met River. That he had cemented those words in time, creating a fixed point that could never be unravelled or risk breaking the very foundations of the universe.

What bound the Doctor and Rose nullified everything else. He might have told River marriage vows but they were words that held no real sway. They could never carry any weight no matter how many times he said them or even if a part of him had meant them. Because the bond was absolute. There was nothing in the known universe that ranked higher. The bond was as final as death itself. Once done it was forever.

Despite knowing all that it still hurt to hear him say it. She couldn't help it.

"River Song," Annabelle realised though Elsa still looked confused. "The woman who kills the Doctor or the one who marries him. Madam Kovarian believed the former. She must have been wrong."

The sisters looked at each other for just a moment and suddenly something darkened in Elsa's expression. It twisted her face with malice and glee. She pointed at Rose while Annabelle shook her head uselessly.

"The love of his life, right? That's what you told me, Annabelle. That he'd die for her. And yet he'd have us believe this?" Elsa watched Rose for a moment, her eyes sharp and merciless. "You know it don't you?" she finally said. "You know the answer. You know his name. You have to. Perhaps he hasn't married you in the traditional sense but you are bound, right? And that supersedes everything, doesn't it?"

The Doctor took a step forwards. "I told you, I can only tell someone my name..."

"And you told some woman prophesied to kill you?" Elsa barked out, her tone filled with disbelief. "But not the girl you bound your soul to?"

"Elsa," there was a bid for caution in Annabelle's voice. But Elsa didn't heed her sister.

"Admit it Doctor," Elsa said. "She knows because there isn't a single thing left in this world that you care about more than her. Married or not." Elsa took a couple of steps closer to the Doctor. "Now are you really going to stand there and let me shoot her when we both know you can save her life?"

The Doctor clamped his mouth shut as pain, conflicted and raw swirled in his eyes just before his eyelids fluttered shut as though he could no longer bare it.

"Fine," Elsa said with a snarl. "Kill her."

She nodded towards Rose and the Doctor's eyes flipped opened. Rose felt the panic tearing through him as his gaze caught hers. What she saw there would have sent her to her knees if she wasn't already on the floor. I was right, they seemed to say. Look, Rose. I was right. This is my tomb and now you'll share it.

Such guilt was not for one person to bear. Not ever. Nor could he. As the Daleks fired the Doctor threw himself in front of Rose, falling to his knees in a desperate attempt to shield her.

At first Rose thought she was the one that was screaming but it wasn't. It was Annabelle.

"No! Stand down!" she ordered and miraculously the Daleks stopped. The Doctor fell against Rose, clutching at her shoulders as he struggled to stay upright. He nearly tipped her over as she fought to take his weight. Was he hit?

"Doctor?" Rose's voice shook in gut wrenching fear. "Doctor, are you alright?" His breathing was heavy, and for a moment his head fell against her shoulder. Her fingers were on his back and in his hair trying to find some indication as to whether he'd been shot or not. "Doctor! Are you shot?!"

Rose could still feel the weakness in her limps but ignored it. She didn't care about herself in that horrible moment before he answered. She didn't care one bit.

Finally she felt him shake his head. "No," he mumbled, raising it. Clear blue-green eyes met hers and he gave her a smile. He was okay. He was okay. It was all she could think about. He's okay.

"Kill her now!" Elsa screamed. But neither Dalek moved. The only motion was the Daleks inside the open armour. They both kept twitching, the one dead eye of each blinking at irregular intervals.

"They were a gift." Annabelle rose, having let go of Rose's hand, and looked at her sister sadly. Elsa stared at Annabelle with horrible disbelief. "But I created them," Annabelle explained. "In the end they're loyal to me." Elsa kept staring at Annabelle but Rose couldn't tell if there was any betrayal in her eyes. Then Elsa reached for her own gun and Annabelle closed her eyes.

"Kill her," she told the Daleks, her voice soft like falling ash. "Kill my sister."

Elsa barely had a chance to get her weapon out and aim it before the two Daleks shot her. It wasn't quick like with a regular exterminator gun. It was slow. Agonising. Elsa screamed. She crumbled to the floor, her joints twitching, bones snapping and all the while she wouldn't stop screaming. Until finally she jerked once and lay still.

She had ended up on her side, her hands clasped together as though in prayer. She could have been sleeping serenely. Except the pain of her last few moments were still there, edged into her features, horribly captured like a single moment on film.

The clone of Elsa Conn was dead, killed by the very pets she seemed to have cherished so.

For a moment no one moved. Too shocked to take so much as a step or say a word. Surprisingly it was Annabelle who snapped out of it first. She leaned down next to the Doctor, trying to get his attention.

"Doctor, you have to tell me," she said. But the Doctor couldn't tear his focus from Rose as he held on to her as tightly as she held on to him. "Doctor!" Annabelle barked out. The Doctor and Rose were only vaguely aware that there were still stones and dust raining down from overhead. Any minute what was left of the ceiling could come crashing down, killing them all. "You have to tell me now!" Annabelle was insisting. "We're running out of time. I can send the cylinder through! I can close the rift and save your people! Just trust me."

Rose's eyes were focused on the Doctor's as she gave him a small smile. Far better than the previous one.

"I'm okay," Rose told him, drawing in a wheezy breath, realising that perhaps that wasn't entirely true. The Doctor ignored Annabelle and reached up his hand, brushing his fingers along Rose's hairline and down her cheek.

He didn't have to say anything this time. Didn't have to coax or urge, threaten or plead. Rose opened her mind to him instantly, feeling the bond spark to life like crackling embers in a fire. If they didn't fight it was so easy. The energy moving restlessly in her blood, ever in a state of flux because the huon particles could never remain stable. All that fell into place perfectly if only they resigned themselves to it and to each other. If they stopped fighting what was inevitable.

The Doctor smiled softly and Rose was feeling her head spin as though she was intoxicated. High on the sensations rushing through her veins. The Doctor leaned down, his lips brushing lightly against her cheek.

 _Feel me, Rose_ , she heard him whisper across the bond. _Only me._

And Rose focused on the sparks igniting along her nerves as the Doctor touched her. It made her want to sigh and relax into him. It made her want to ignore the world falling down around them, the city burning overhead, even Annabelle screaming at them. Screaming desperate things and things born out fear. She cursed their names in one breath only to beg in the next.

Rose watched the Doctor's eyes as they followed the lines his fingers drew on her skin and she found a strange resignation there. A softness and sorrow she'd only seen twice before and it made her pause. Because she knew it and that scared her. It scared her because both those times he'd been saying goodbye.

The first one had been inside the TARDIS and the other, standing on a beach. Both times he'd been nothing but a projection. No touch. Only words. Perhaps that was why he was touching her as he was now. Tracing every angle, every curve of her face. Because this time he could.

But that didn't make sense. There was nothing to take them apart now. Nothing that could. Nothing that either of them would allow. Which could mean only one thing. The end.

The end was coming.


	68. Chapter 68 - The endless spiral

**So it was a while since I updated. I haven't even checked in here all summer so I'll begin with saying a huge sorry to those of you who have left reviews that I've failed to reply to because of this. So sorry and thank you so incredibly much for your reviews! A thousand times thank you! And for the favs and follows. It was exactly what I needed to begin finishing this.**

 **Also a huge thank you to cyandevil666 who was kind enough to beta. You are the absolute best!**

 **You are all so incredibly wonderful and I feel so horribly guilty for the lack of updates. But still I figured the absolute best way to repay you, since I can't bake you cookies, would be with a new chapter.**

 **So here you go, I really, truly hope you like it.**

Chapter 68 - The endless spiral

"Are you listening to me!?" Annabelle shouted. The Doctor tore his eyes from Rose. She was alive. Rose would be alright. He'd make sure of it or die trying.

"We're out of time," Annabelle told them. The Doctor pulled Rose up with him. The structure was failing. Pieces of the ceiling were already caving in; dust rained down on their heads. They had to leave now, or this place truly would be their grave.

But before the Doctor took Rose and got her out of there his eyes caught on that crack in the wall. The last doorway to his lost home. His gaze dropped to the cylinders on the floor. With those he could save them even having to condemn them to solitude. Annabelle Conn was still shouting desperately at both him and Rose. Telling them they had to run. That she'd handle it. She was begging them to just trust her.

"Trust you?"the Doctor's attention caught on the word. Despite everything, trust and Annabelle Conn did not exactly go hand in hand.

"I killed the only person alive who still cared about me," Annabelle pointed out, grimacing as though the thought physically hurt her. "To save the both of you. I've earned your trust." The Doctor felt Rose's fist tighten as she clutched a section of his coat.

"No," Rose said and the Doctor glanced down at her. There was resolution in the set of her mouth, and her eyes were steady on Annabelle.

"No?" The disbelief in Annabelle's voice was so strong that it was mocking. For a moment the Doctor thought he saw a flash of that madness in Annabelle's eyes. That manic desperation that had once coloured her every action. "They'll die!" Annabelle shouted then. "We'll all die!"

"Rose…" The Doctor tried to catch her attention, not sure what she was thinking. Rose's eyes shifted from Annabelle to the Doctor.

"I'm not gonna let you do this," she said, surprising him. "I'm not gonna let you lock them away and I certainly won't help you bleedin' do it. Not until we have no other choice."

"There is no other choice!" Annabelle told them harshly. "The Daleks are coming and they will destroy everything if there is even the slightest chance Gallifrey can come back. This will save them and us."

But Rose shook her head. "We've beaten them before," she told the Doctor. "We can't give up yet."

Only Rose, the Doctor thought. Only she could believe they'd win against the armies descending upon them while the very building they were standing in was crumbling above their heads.

"I don't think you understand," Annabelle ground out.

"No, you don't understand." Rose's head whipped around so she could glare at Annabelle. "It's his whole race. His home. I won't let him lose it. Not again."

Annabelle took a couple of steps towards them."Give me his name or he won't just lose his home, you will be destroying it!"

Rose turned her back on Annabelle, shaking her head. "We have to try," she told the Doctor. "You have to try."

The Doctor watched Rose wistfully for a moment. "You really think we could safely bring them back?" he asked her. "You saw Rassilon. They were mad at the end."

"War made them that way," Rose insisted. "There's been no war for them to fight for a long time, yeah? And if there's no war here…" she trailed off invitingly, and the Doctor gave her a soft smile. But despite its tenderness there was something sad about curve of his lip that sent a flutter of worry through Rose's stomach. She wanted to ask him about it but there was no time. They had to go. They had to find a way to stop this war that didn't include the Doctor losing his home again.

Rose took the Doctor's hand. "Let's go," she said, turning him around. Reluctantly the Doctor went with her, uselessly drawn by her endless hope.

But Rose didn't get far. She didn't get far at all because suddenly cruel hands grabbed her hair and yanked her back. Her hand slipped out of the Doctor's as she stumbled. Annabelle was swearing, calling Rose all manner of names as she pulled her back roughly by her hair. Some of the stones falling from the ceiling were large enough to hurt as they hit both Rose and Annabelle. But none hurt enough to make Annabelle let go.

She pulled Rose around and slammed her into the wall with the crack in it. Rose was surprised at her strength. She looked feeble but was clearly far from it. Those crooked fingers of hers were still in Rose's hair, clutching it ruthlessly.

"You are going to tell me his name, Agent Tyler," she informed Rose cruelly. Rose coughed stone dust out of her lungs, trying to catch her breath.

"Annabelle!" The Doctor shouted. "You let her go!"

"Tell me!" Annabelle screamed and the raw emotion in her voice sent chills through Rose's bones. "I was hoping to do this nicely but I'm running out of time. So if you don't tell me I'll shoot him."

Rose glanced back with some difficulty over her shoulder, seeing Annabelle aiming her sister's gun at the Doctor. That was why he wasn't rushing to tear Annabelle away from Rose. That was why he was trying so hard to stay where he was.

"Let go of me." Rose tried to push herself away from the wall, but Annabelle slammed her back and the Doctor shouted that he'd kill Annabelle if she didn't stop.

"Give me his name."

Rose ground her teeth and pushed harder. She got away from the wall and made a grab for Annabelle's gun but Annabelle pushed her back, hitting Rose hard with the gun across her face. Rose tasted blood, metallic and bitter in her mouth. The blow had split her lip opened against her teeth. Rose saw the Doctor moving out of the corner of her eye. He got the sonic out of his pocket. Quickly he aimed it at one of the cylinders. It blew almost instantly, sparks flying. It made a strange mechanical sound, like it was dying and the light went out.

"His name!" Annabelle screamed, completely ignoring what the Doctor had just done. Something was wrong. Annabelle wasn't trying to lock Gallifrey away, she was after something else.

"Why?" Rose wiped the blood from her chin. The Doctor moved towards Rose, but Annabelle immediately raised her gun again, forcing him to stop.

"Not your concern," Annabelle informed them.

"I rather think it is," the Doctor pointed out. Annabelle just glared at them, saying nothing. The madness she'd kept so cleverly hidden was back in her eyes. A dark whirlpool of things Rose was sure she could never fully understand.

Annabelle was a complicated creature. She had enjoyed killing Harriet Jones but she'd nearly wept as she'd held the clone of her sister in her arms back at Davros's lair. She could sacrifice millions without batting an eye but when they'd first come here Rose could have sworn she was sincere when she'd said she wanted to save the world. To save the Doctor and Rose she'd even killed the clone, by her own words the only thing left in the universe who still cared for her.

"You wouldn't understand," Annabelle said, her voice filled with contempt. She flinched as though pain had suddenly raked through her.

"Try us," Rose dared, ignoring the other woman's momentary distress. Annabelle's gaze flickered over to Rose's. Her eyes were wild. Wild and trapped and scared.

"How long?" Annabelle asked Rose, but Rose had no idea what she meant. "How long will you live because of him?" She nodded her head towards the Doctor. "Because of what he did?"

"I… don't…" Rose began but fell silent, because she had no idea. None at all.

"You will never understand," Annabelle snarled. "You will live forever."

"No one lives forever," the Doctor said. "And nothing should. Everything has its time and everything dies."

"You won't!" Annabelle spat, clasping the gun desperately in her hand.

"Of course, I will," the Doctor told her immediately. "Sooner rather than later I'm afraid." But Annabelle shook her head.

"If you can't give me what I want then I'm sure they will."

Rose stared at Annabelle, wide eyed. "Who? The Time Lords?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Annabelle confirmed with a strange smile, filled with both hope and despair. "You see, I'm dying."

For a single breath the whole room went quiet. Even the fighting outside seemed to pause as things clicked into place. The fear in Annabelle's eyes was making sense now. For there had never been anything Annabelle feared more than dying.

"But I don't understand…." Rose began. "Before you were ready to kill us if we brought back Gallifrey…"

"No, no," Annabelle corrected with some impatience. "That was before I knew what was down here. I may have deceived and murdered my way to the top of the hierarchy but once I was there I took it seriously. I had every intention of stopping you but not once I found out. Not after I truly understood. Then it was all about gaining your trust." Her face twisted in a pain filled snarl. "And what better way to do so than convince you two that all I wanted was to save the world."

"Convince…? But you can't lie here," Rose tried to point out.

"The world- is a broad term," the Doctor said flatly. "You can refer to the whole of the universe, or one planet, a single country or even just your own personal space. Your own life."

Annabelle smiled at the Doctor with a hint of appreciation as though his comment had been a compliment on her own genius.

"I still don't…."

"She thinks they can save her," the Doctor said solemnly, his face stoic. Annabelle's smile widened only to falter. She clutched at her midsection, doubling over in sudden pain. But she kept her gun trained on the Doctor, her eyes fixed on him.

"I'm out of time," Annabelle ground out. "Give me the name." Neither Rose nor the Doctor said a word. "His name!"

As though Annabelle's shriek had made the whole building shake, a section of the ceiling collapsed. Large chunks of stone and mortar rained down on them. Both Rose and the Doctor covered their heads instinctively. Rose could hear the sounds of the Daleks and the Cybermen now. Even the cries of people who were either wounded or dying. Rose dared a glance and saw the night sky through a hole where part of the ceiling had collapsed. But it wasn't just the stars she could see. She saw ships and fire and exterminator beams. The smell of smoke thickened the air and ash fell with the snowflakes to land at their feet.

"Give me his name!" Annabelle screamed. "Or I'll shoot him dead! If I can't live than neither can you!"

Only once before had Rose seen Annabelle this afraid. And that was when she'd been lying on the floor of the Dalek crucible, choking on her own blood.

"Kill him and you'll have nothing," Rose warned Annabelle, fear chasing Rose's heart into a frantic rhythm. She hated having that gun pointed at the Doctor. It made her feel so terribly helpless. One twitch of Annabelle's finger and it could all be over.

"Why couldn't you just have trusted me?!" Annabelle spat at them. "I did everything right. Everything!"

"Even killing your own sister?" Rose asked.

"She didn't kill her," the Doctor said, his voice hard. "Did you?" Annabelle's eyes narrowed on the Doctor. "Elsa or the clone of her, she never did anything without your permission." The Doctor aimed his screwdriver, running it hastily down the length of Annabelle. "Your kidneys are failing," he said. "You have skin grafts on seventy percent of your body and scar tissue on nearly every major organ. Some aren't even yours. Elsa really was your own personal donor bank."

"She kept me alive," Annabelle said. "As long as she could."

"And now she died for you," the Doctor said. Rose stared at him.

"What…?" Rose began.

"Elsa provoked us on purpose, didn't she?" the Doctor asked Annabelle. "So you could shoot her and further gain our trust. All so we would open that crack in space and time for you. "

Rose looked at Annabelle in shock.

"Not much good it did," Annabelle snarled. She was insane, Rose thought. Driven mad by her terrible fear of dying. Annabelle needed to stay alive. At any cost. It superseded everything else. Love, hate, right, wrong. Rose had never met anymore more afraid of death than Annabelle Conn. And there was surely some deep-rooted reason for it. Something they'd most likely never know.

Rose began to realise that there was no talking Annabelle down. Survival was the only thing that existed to her. Rose watched in dread as Annabelle's finger tightened on the trigger. Rose acted on instinct. Long before her brain had even caught up to the action. She threw herself at Annabelle. Slamming into the woman. But again Annabelle's strength surprised Rose for she stayed on her feet.

"I just want to live," Annabelle said, the fear in her voice garnering unwitting sympathy from Rose whether she wanted to or not. If Annabelle had been honest Rose and Doctor might even have tried to help her. But she had lied and cheated her way to everything because that was the only thing she knew.

Annabelle fought against Rose as Rose tried desperately to get the weapon away from her. The mussel of the gun was moving dangerously close to Rose's temple, and Rose wasn't actually sure whether Annabelle would pull the trigger if she could. Then suddenly the Doctor was there, helping Rose. But Annabelle was frantic. She was not letting go and she was not giving up.

"Annabelle," the Doctor tried. "They won't give you anything."

"They will. If I am the one who sets them free. They'll have to. Honourable. Just like you," Annabelle told him.

"Annabelle, the rest of the Time Lords are not like him."

Rose fought to keep her grip on the gun when suddenly a shot went off, the heat of it blowing past Rose's cheek. In almost the same instant Rose saw the flashing green light of the screwdriver. The Doctor aimed it past Rose at Annabelle. At first Rose didn't understand what he hoped to accomplish. Until she saw that brace at Annabelle's neck.

Annabelle twitched suddenly, and another shot fired into the ceiling. It caused the Doctor to grab Annabelle, frantically running the sonic over her back and the brace Davros had made her. Annabelle tried to shake him off but between Rose and the Doctor they now had her pinned.

Rose finally managed to wrestle the gun away. The weapon fell to the floor.

The Doctor had his arm around Annabelle's neck while her arms flayed uselessly, trying to claw him off her. Rose met Annabelle's gaze and suddenly wished she hadn't. If she'd been desperate before, she was panicked now. She shook her head.

"No, no, please. No." She said it over and over again as much agony on her face as Rose had ever seen. "I want to live. I just want to live. Please."

The Doctor grabbed the back brace, and Rose was just about to beg him to stop because even though Annabelle might deserve it after all that she'd done Rose couldn't bear the cruelty of it. But it was too late. He yanked a section clean off. Sparks blew out of the device and Annabelle screamed. Her legs gave away under her.

The Doctor let her go and Annabelle crumbled to heap on the floor.

The Doctor hadn't managed to pull the whole brace off. Only a part of it. Where it was gone Rose could see holes drilled directly into Annabelle's spine. Her skin was horribly discoloured, clotted with welts and scars. It looked like the brace had eaten away at her through the years, leaving her back raw and infected. It was a grotesque sight and Rose should feel repulsed. But instead she felt sorrow. Looking at Annabelle's ruined back Rose realised that it must have hurt. Not just the procedure itself but it must have hurt every single day.

"You… you," Annabelle sputtered. Her legs kept twitching sporadically as she fought to move. The back brace hadn't just prolonged Annabelle's life it had kept her walking after the Weeping Angel had snapped her neck. Annabelle lashed out towards the Doctor who easily jumped out of reach while staring at the heap of twisted limps that was Annabelle Conn. "You have murdered me," she cried.

Rose gasped, feeling the accusation like a knife to the chest whether it was true or not. Annabelle kept flaying with her arms, her fingers twisted into claws, desperately trying to get a hold of someone to hurt, to inflict any kind of pain.

The Doctor hurried to Rose's side. He took her hand immediately, and Rose could feel through the bond that she was not the only one who felt the guilt over what they'd just done. As the Doctor had moved, he had revealed something in Annabelle's line of sight. It was the clone of Elsa Conn, half buried beneath debris. For a moment, the curses and accusations stopped falling of Annabelle's lips as she stared at the dead clone of her equally dead sister.

At first Annabelle tried to rise, but only stumbled and fell. So she crawled. Pushed herself forwards with legs that kicked and twitched, clutching at stones and dust with clawed fingers. The Doctor and Rose could do nothing but stare as the macabre creature made its way across the floor. The sight was revolting, yet it was impossible not to pity her.

Cracks were breaking up what was left of the ceiling. The structure wasn't going to hold for much longer. And once it crumbled the Daleks would be coming. The Doctor's hand tightened around Rose's.

"We have to go," he said but Rose couldn't help but take a step towards Annabelle. The Doctor yanked her to halt.

"We... we have to save her," Rose stuttered, not even knowing how they would go about doing that, much less if it was a good idea. Rose just saw someone hurt and her instinct was to help even if the person in need of it didn't deserve it.

"She's been far past saving for a long time, Rose," the Doctor said. "Come on."

Rose let the Doctor pull her away, but she couldn't tear her eyes from Annabelle as she reached her hand out and clasped the limp hand of the clone. The only thing in the universe that had truly cared whether Annabelle lived or died, and Annabelle had killed her. She clutched Elsa's hand, dragging herself closer. Stones hit her back and her legs as they fell but she didn't seem to care. Then Annabelle did something that surprised Rose far more than anything else. She parted her lips and mouthed a silent 'sorry' to the corpse with her sister's face. It was just the barest movement of her lips. But the sound they would have made was still clear. Clear enough that Rose thought she could almost hear the heartbreak in it. In that moment Rose had no doubt that Annabelle had at least loved Elsa once. Perhaps what Annabelle was sorry for was the tragedy of it all. For both the Conn sisters had, in the end been born to die.

/

The Doctor pulled Rose away, and in the destruction she lost sight of Annabelle. Nothing but rubble was going to be left, and finally Rose turned and ran with the Doctor. They rushed up the stairs to avoid being crushed and buried below. But the minute the cold night air hit them they froze. Above was war. Rose had only seen a mere fraction of it before. At first it was difficult to understand who was even fighting whom. Shots blew past them, explosions tore apart houses and threw snow and dirt into the air. Big alien ships filled the sky and smaller ones chased each other around in deadly games of cat and mouse.

Finally Rose managed to make out clerics to one side. Two hundred or so men and women in army uniforms fighting both Daleks and Cybermen, and desperately trying to hold their ground. The clerics numbers were larger but the creatures they fought were bred for war.

And Rose knew there were more. Sontarans and Slitheen and Weeping Angels. And she'd told the Doctor that they could beat this. And they could. They would. Together. They would find a way. They always did. They had to.

A blast hit part of the structure right next to where the Doctor and Rose were standing. The blow shattered stone and sent waves of heat and fire high into the air. The Doctor and Rose were both thrown wide by the blast.

Rose didn't feel herself hitting the ground but the ringing in her ears was deafening. She struggled up on all fours, feeling as though everything was shaking, like she was in the middle of an earthquake. Then the Doctor grabbed her, pulling her to her feet just as the ground where she'd been a second before seemed to blow apart. Dirt got into Rose's eyes. Desperately she tried to blink it away. The Doctor was shouting something at her, but she couldn't hear him. She could hear nothing past the ringing in her ears.

 _Rose!_ Rose opened her eyes and stared into the Doctor's. _Are you hurt?_ The worry that came across the bond was sharp like a knife. He shook her once. _Are you hurt?!_ Rose shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said, barely hearing herself speak.

"We have to get out of here." The Doctor took her hand and she followed him as they ran through the battlefield.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

"DELETE!

The Doctor caught Rose around the waist and yanked her off her feet. They tumbled to the ground. Quickly he rolled on top of her, instinctively shielding her. Rose stared up at him while he had his eyes squeezed tightly shut. It was such an irrational thing to do. Closing your eyes wouldn't make it hurt any less if he was hit, yet he did it anyway. Dirt rained over them, shots blowing by above the Doctor's head.

He opened his eyes, quickly glancing around before scrambling back on his feet. His hand was out, and Rose was already taking it. He pulled her up and again they ran. Rose's gaze was flying around, her mind desperately trying grasp any kind of logic. But war wasn't about logic. War was just about a mad struggle for survival because those who survived were the ones who won.

Rose saw the Daleks as they advanced upon the church while Cybermen were holding off the clerics. Raiding ships flew by overhead, firing at the remnants of the old church, the blasts so powerful it rocked the earth. Behind the Cybermen the town was still burning, an inferno of heat and destruction.

A light, bright as a star came hurtling towards the Doctor and Rose. But it was no star. Rose pushed the Doctor to the side and threw herself after him. The light blew by them, slamming into the ground. Rocks and snow scattered around them, leaving a huge crater where the Doctor and Rose had been but a moment ago.

They both crawled away. As fast as they could, managing to get behind a stone wall that had surely once been part of a house. Now it stood broken and alone.

The Doctor's breathing was heavy where he crouched on all fours. He clutched snow and ash in his hands, his knuckles whiter than the snow. Rose scrambled over to him.

"Doctor..?" His whole body seemed to vibrate, every muscle taut. Rose carefully touched his shoulder, feeling as though she was touching a string wound far too tight. One that might snap at any given moment. "Doctor…"

"I can't," he ground out, his hair falling into his eyes. Rose moved to brush it away. But before her fingers reached the dark strands his hand shot out, grabbing her wrist. Hard. Rose started in surprise. His eyes met hers and she thought she saw fire burning inside them. Fire like the very furnaces of hell. "Help me," he said. Though she knew the request was a plea, his voice was hard as iron.

"O…of course," Rose stuttered. "What is it? Are you hurt?" His head dropped forwards again. He fought to breathe, every single breath making Rose fear he would not take another one. "Doctor…?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry Rose." She moved a little closer, ignoring the raging war just beyond the feeble wall they were hiding behind.

"Doctor, what's…-"But Rose never finished the sentence.

Suddenly she felt cool metal around her wrist. She froze. No. Rose felt it instantly. The bond vanished. Vanished as though someone had torn it out. She gasped with the pain of it. Before she could do anything, the Doctor got the screwdriver out of his pocket. He aimed it at the bracelet and something clicked. The sound was small, insignificant. Except to Rose. To her it was the loudest thing she'd ever heard.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said again, his voice filled with despair. He was still holding onto her wrist. Rose pulled it free. His fingers left stains of ash and the coldness of snow on her skin. But all Rose could see was the bracelet. The one Annabelle Conn had made for her. So Rose wouldn't feel the agony of the bond.

Rose's fingers wrapped around the piece of crude metal. She tore at it. Carefully at first as though she somehow believed it would come off easily. It didn't, and her efforts quickly grew more frantic.

Rose clawed at the bracelet until she scraped her skin raw, and the Doctor was forced to clasp her hands, stopping her.

"It won't come off," he said, not looking at her. Rose just shook her head. No. It had to come off. Rose's eyes caught on the sonic screwdriver the Doctor still held in his hand and launched for it. The Doctor was so surprised he almost didn't pull it away from her in time. Almost.

With reluctance the Doctor pushed Rose back and before she could stop him he'd placed the sonic on the ground. He grabbed a heavy stone. He raised it above his head. Just before it came crashing down the Doctor's eyes met Rose's for a split second. They were torn. Harried and frightfully vulnerable. But it didn't matter. He smashed the sonic into bits anyway. It shattered beneath the stone right before Rose's eyes.

The sound of its destruction seemed to reverberate through Rose's skull, pounding with its finality.

"What have you done?" Rose breathed. Every inch of her skin prickled painfully as though she'd just been submerged in ice cold water.

The Doctor dropped the stone. He stared at the broken remains of his sonic screwdriver. Then he swallowed hard, visibly gathering himself.

"You have to go," he told Rose. "You have to find Robert and Lex and the twins. Take them, take the TARDIS." But Rose wasn't listening. She was so cold. She could feel nothing but the cold. Every inch of her was cold. Then the Doctor was suddenly there. "Rose! Are you listening to me?!" he barked out harshly. "Run! Do you hear me? You take them, and you run!"

Rose pulled herself roughly free of the Doctor.

"What have you done?!"she screamed, her voice rising above the noise of the battle.

"Rose…" He reached for her, but she pushed his hands away.

"Don't touch me."

"Rose, please." He looked at her with so much agony in his eyes that Rose nearly caved. She couldn't bear seeing him in pain any more than he could bear hers.

"Why?"

"I had to." The Doctor looked as though he hoped she'd understand. She would never understand. Not this time. "I need you safe."

"It is not your choice to make!"

The Doctor shook his head, looking as though he knew that but to him he'd done the only thing he could.

"I need you safe," he said again, staring down at his hands where they lay opened on his thighs.

"You selfish…" Rose began but he quickly cut her off.

"I'd break for you." His eyes shot up to hers. "I'd break myself apart for you." His voice cracked and fissured like shattering glass as he fought to get the words out.

"Then why won't you let me decide for myself?" Rose asked harshly, struggling to hold on to her anger because looking at him it was hard. "You did once," Rose said. "Even if what I chose wasn't what you wanted. Or have you forgotten that?" But the Doctor shook his head.

"I haven't forgotten," he said, and she could see then that he hadn't. Doing this costed him something. Not just something dear but something vital. He gulped down air. "I wish I was as strong as I was then but I'm not…" Every word was short and clipped now as he fought to breathe. "I'm not. I'm not."

And Rose couldn't do it. She couldn't hold on to her anger and watch him suffer. It wasn't within her. She wrapped her arms around the Doctor. Immediately he clutched her shoulders, burying his face against her neck. He was fighting. She could see that. Fighting harder than he perhaps ever had.

"Doctor, please." Rose ran her fingers through his hair and felt his whole body shudder. If only he could talk to her. She'd help him fight, she'd carry him if only he let her.

"Don't do this, Rose," he asked. "I beg you." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, holding on tight.

Cries of hate and terror filled the night around them, but it was a distant thing. Nothing but sounds under water. Far away and indistinct. The Doctor and Rose had made themselves a tiny little world behind that crumbled wall. Stolen a moment of calm in the middle of a raging storm.

"You have to go," the Doctor said again. "Please, Rose."

"I'm not leaving you," Rose vowed. She wouldn't. Not ever again. But the Doctor was moving, struggling to pull his own arms away and let her go.

"I need you…" he mumbled, clutching her shoulders and slowly pushing her back.

"I'm right here." Rose ran her fingers down the side of his face, lamenting for a moment the lack of electricity the bond usually sparked. But the Doctor shook his head, still not looking Rose in the eye.

"I need you… to go," he said. The Doctor captured her hands in his and removed them, looking as though he was fighting against every muscle in his body as he did so. He turned his face away and Rose saw his jaw working as he ground his teeth. When he finally managed to let go of her hands Rose felt a crack split her heart. The pain of it propelled her forward. Back towards him, immediately desperate to heal the break.

But before Rose reached him the Doctor had spun back around. He caught the hand she'd reached out and with one single tug he pulled her to him. Rose fell against his chest and immediately his arm was around her waist, his lips coming down on hers in a broken cry.

He kissed her like it hurt him, but he couldn't stop, starving for his own destruction. But Rose didn't want him destroyed. She never wanted to be the cause of his misery. She tried to show him. Tried to imbue every touch with promises that she would never let him fall apart.

She was clutching the collar of his coat, fearing he'd pull away. But the Doctor wasn't pulling away he was holding Rose to him, his hands fisting the material of her jacket against the small of her back. The kiss was slowly turning salty but neither of them had the strength to stop or pull back. Parting took effort, staying together was easy. As easy as breathing.

Right in the midst of battle the Doctor and Rose clung to each other as though they were the only thing that was real in a world of illusions. Everything around them nothing but dust, crumbling beneath the weight of fate and war. But not them. They were real. The Doctor's lips against Rose's were real. His body, his heart and soul. Real _._

He said he'd break himself apart for her, and deep down Rose feared that was exactly what he was doing. Only she didn't understand why. Whatever it was it was tearing him in two, and she couldn't bear it. She desperately needed to hold together what was breaking. But how could she even begin to do so if she didn't understand what demons he was fighting?

The Doctor somehow managed to let go of Rose's jacket. He clasped her waist instead. But Rose quickly realised it was not to hold her but to push her away. He did so crying with the agony it took to do it.

"I can't. Please, Rose. I can't." He let go off her and stumbled drunkenly to his feet. Rose scrambled after him.

"Doctor, just talk to me," Rose tried. "Tell me, I…." He looked up at her and Rose stopped short. Tears had left trails through the dirt on his face and there was ash and soot in his hair. He looked so haunted. So fragile. And Rose finally saw what everyone had always told her. What Tom Saks had said at Torchwood so long ago, even Annabelle Conn and River Song.

He looked like he was dying. Like loving her was destroying him and he wasn't sure he cared. Because he needed her. Needed her so desperately it didn't matter what having her would do to him. Didn't care what it cost.

Instinctively Rose moved towards the Doctor but before she reached him she halted. In one shattering heartbeat she realised he didn't look as though he was dying simply because his hearts was breaking. He looked that way because he was.

For a brief moment light shimmered beneath his skin. It was like the ground had suddenly vanished beneath Rose's feet, and she was falling, her thoughts chasing each other frantically to make sense of what she was seeing.

Elsa.

The Doctor had thrown himself in front of Rose when Elsa had fired and for a moment he'd doubled over as though he'd been hit. But then he'd straightened like it was nothing. Rose had asked him if he'd been hit. He'd said no. But with horror Rose realised that wasn't the first thing she'd asked. She'd asked him if he was alright. He'd not answered the second question. She'd only thought he did. He'd answered the first.

Are you alright?

No.

But that didn't make sense. If he'd been hit she would have felt it. She would have known.

"When?" Rose breathed, like 'when' mattered. The Doctor said nothing, he just looked at her sadly. It was the resigned sadness she'd seen before. Ever since Elsa. And Rose had her answer. He hadn't been hit by a stray shot from a Dalek or a Cyberman as they'd run across the battlefield. The Doctor had taken a shot for Rose. A fatal one. To save her.

Tears sprung to Rose's eyes as she began shaking her head in hopeless denial.

"No," she wept. "No, no no." Rose struggled to process what she was seeing while more golden light shifted beneath his skin. It was running along his veins as though the energy itself was turning his blood into liquid gold. It should be beautiful. It wasn't. It was terrifying. The most terrifying thing she knew. Dying. The Doctor was dying. Again. Dying. Like an endless spiral and nothing she ever did could stop it.

Rose gave herself a shake, fighting to drown out the shouting inside her head so she could think. Because the Doctor was a Time Lord dying for him didn't mean the same as to everyone else. Her eyes caught on the bracelet before flickering up to the Doctor's.

"Take it off," she said, holding it up in front of his face. "Doctor, take the bracelet off. I'll help you. Like I did before. You'll just regenerate. It'll be fine. It…"

"No, Rose." The sadness in his tone left her knees weak. "I have to save them," he said, looking down at his hands. "I have to end this war before it goes too far."

Rose caught his hand, clasping it tightly.

"No," she said. "Not like this. It's madness."

"Is it?" he asked, looking at her as though he genuinely didn't know.

"Yes!" Rose told him immediately not for one second considering if his reasoning had merit. The Doctor caught a strand of her hair that blew across her face and curled it behind her ear. She could feel his fingers trembling as he did. He leaned down towards her only to let his head fall against her shoulder.

"Just please let me do this," he begged.

"How can you ask that?" Rose took a shuddering breath. "You promised," she reminded him. "Together. We do this together."

"I can't," he said.

After a while the Doctor raised his head. He did it slowly as though it weight far more than he could carry.

"Can't you see I'm trying to be strong?" he asked her, and Rose wanted to slap him. Slap him or kiss him or hug him. Probably all three. "I can sacrifice my life for them," he said. "For my people. It seems only fitting." His hands touched her face, so carefully Rose wondered if it was she he feared would break or himself. "But I can't sacrifice yours," he said. "I can't even risk it." He shook his head sadly. "I'd let it all burn to save you. A hundred times. Every time."

The Doctor looked at her pleadingly. Pleading for her to see the pain this cost him. How much strength it took for him to even try to do this and how much more was still needed.

I'd let it all burn.

He meant it. She knew he did. Despite all that she'd done she still mattered more to him that all the stars in the sky. Even more than his chance for redemption. If she asked it of him. He'd let it all burn.

Because that is what the bond did to a Gallifreyan and that was why the Time Lords were forbidden to forge it. Because in the end they'd burn down the world for the one they loved, and Time Lords had the power to do it. And the only reason the Doctor wasn't was because of Rose. Because she was human, and she cared if others had to die in order to save them. The bond couldn't burn that out of her.

And so the Doctor was trying to do the right thing. By her. To be the man she'd once fallen in love with. The one who had sent her away in the TARDIS and stayed behind, ready to sacrifice himself to save the human race.

"I need your help," the Doctor said and Rose thought she actually felt something crack inside her chest. She thought she even heard the break, like a bone snapping. "Please Rose, this one last time, I need you to help me be strong."

She couldn't do it. It was all Rose could think. She couldn't do it. No. She was shaking, her whole body trembling. But not from the winter chill or the snow drifting on the air. This cold came from inside. It was spreading to her lungs making it harder and harder to breathe, her fingers were going numb, making her clutch hard at the collar of the Doctor's coat.

"I can't," she managed to get out. "I'll go mad. You know that. If I lose you I'll become just like Omega."

The Doctor's arms were around her. His touch should have brought warmth to her freezing bones, soothed her shivering but it wasn't. If nothing else, it made it worse for she knew it would be torn away from her and she'd never know it again.

"You're strong," the Doctor told her.

"It's not about strength, you idiot," Rose breathed. "We are not meant to survive alone, you know that. Because that kind of pain would drive anyone mad. No one can take that. No one's meant to."

"Rose…"

"No," she interrupted him. "You can't ask this of me. You can't. I'd rather die."

Silence filled the space between them while around them the Cybermen were screaming, the Daleks were shooting, killing everything in sight. The clerics were fighting valiantly but uselessly. In the end no one would come out of this war victorious. In the end they'd all lose. No one more so than Rose. She would bargain with the devil to avoid the suffering the Doctor was asking her to endure. She'd do anything. Anything but tell him no.

"Please…" was all he said, and it was all that was needed.

Everything shattered.

Rose's hands fell away from the Doctor, and he said thank you. The Doctor took her hands and raised her freezing cold fingers to his lips, kissing them softly, reverently. Each brush of his lips seemed to say the same. Thank you. And all Rose could do was stand there. Cold and numb.

The Doctor's fingers slid out of hers and he turned without another word. He left her with no more endearments or empty promises. Just a thank you as the fires of war burned, tearing the planet apart as though it still mattered. As though anything could ever matter again.

Rose watched the Doctor walk away, his coat whipping in the wind. Snow and ash swirled in his wake. Then the darkness swallowed him, and he was gone.

Rose took a step forward, mere instinct driving her to go after him. But she stumbled, falling against the blackened stone wall. Gravity seemed to grab her and pull her down, and she thought she might give into it. Let it pull her to the ground and perhaps even deeper, into the earth. Down into the dark where she could just let her bones turn to dust and be no more.

But she didn't. Instead Rose raised shaking fingers to her face and brushed away her tears. She couldn't let the earth have her. Not yet.

Rose pushed herself away from the wall, stumbling a few steps until she found her footing. She blinked the last remnants of tears out of her eyes and forced her body to move despite the freezing numbness still sifting through her veins. The taste of salt and soot lingered on her lips. Tears and ash. Heartbreak and cinder.

She looked around. Getting her bearings. There were Cybermen to the left. Though she couldn't see many of them, covering as they were behind crumbled buildings, the clerics were to the right. Fighting as best they could on all flanks. They were surrounded, Rose was sure, and would soon be picked off. And once they were, the Daleks would undoubtedly began setting their Nova bomb. Rose had to assume Annabelle had been telling them the truth about that. Anything else was too much of a risk to take.

There was precious little time. Rose had to hurry. She ran from her cover. Explosions were going off next to her, shots fired. She ran behind another section of blackened stone, avoiding shots by mere inches. But there was no time to stop. She had to keep going.

Rose rounded another corner and ran straight into a Dalek. She screamed in surprise, falling back and landing on the snow covered ground. The Dalek swivelled around, the blue of its eyestalk fixing straight on her face.

"ROSE TY-LER LO-CATED."

Rose shoved her hand inside her pocket, miraculously finding one of the EMP-charges.

"EXTERMINATE!"

Rose rolled to the side, the exterminator beam hitting the ground next to her shoulder. She threw the charge. The Dalek screamed as it went off.

"VISION IM-PAIRED."

There was no time to try and do further damage to the Dalek. Rose scrambled to her feet and simply ran past it as it screamed and began firing at random. The EMP's weren't as effective against the Daleks as they were against the Cybermen. Rose ducked as a shot went by above her head and then she saw it. The hole in the ground.

"SURRENDER!"

The Dalek was screaming behind her.

Rose let herself fall to the ground, sliding the last few meters and falling directly into the hole. She landed ungracefully amidst stones a rubble at the bottom. She groaned, knowing she was going to be left with some nasty bruises. She struggled up on her feet. Every inch of her ached from the fall. A part of her welcomed it. Physical pain was far easier to bear than the one threatening to brutally tear her apart from the inside. Quickly Rose glanced back to see if the Dalek had managed to follow her. But all she saw was the night sky above. That wouldn't last. They would be coming. Soon.

It was dark down in the hole but for a single point of illumination. An unnatural blue-white light, flickering and casting shadows that seemed to move along the broken stone and cracked walls. There wasn't much left of the room that had once held all those charts Robert had worked so passionately on. It was mostly rubble now. Rose stumbled over the stones and other remnants of the room as she made her way closer to the source of the blue light.

She tried not to think about what else might be hiding in the shadows. They'd left horrors down here. Horrors in the form of Annabelle and Elsa Conn. Rose knew it was irrational. That there was no way either of them were still alive. But she couldn't shake the thought of them standing somewhere in a dark corner if only to whisper terrible things or stare at her with their dead eyes.

Despite the fear of monsters Rose made her way deeper into the caved-in room. She stopped and stared as she finally reached the wall with the crack. The crack between space and time. The very last doorway to the Doctor's lost home world. The crack glowed faintly, the light flickering. It was eerie, standing there in the darkness and staring at it, knowing what was on the other side and still fearing what was on this one.

Rose clenched her jaw tight and made her way over. Following the light like a beacon in the dark. She stumbled as she reached it. She was drained, battered and hurt and had to use the wall to prop herself up. Rose took a few deep breaths before she started.

"I know you can hear me," she spoke into the rift. She wasn't quite sure how she knew but for some reason she was certain. "I also know you know who I am." Rose's hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms, hoping the pain would keep her head clear. She needed it clear. She couldn't give into the exhaustion, the heartbreak or the fear. "And I need you to listen." She took a trembling breath, getting ready to voice the words out loud. "He's dying," she said, feeling the words like knives to her chest. "Right now, the Doctor is dying. But I can save him. I can. I just need a little help." She looked down at the bracelet around her wrist. With the bond she could save him. She had before. She could do it again. She didn't care that it had nearly killed her the last time. She could do it. She would do it. There was no other option. "Please." Rose squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to beg for their help, but she would.

She still remembered Rassilon standing in all his glory and declaring a final sanction that would have ended all life in the universe. And she would never forget the Moment's sorrow filled eyes as she'd told Rose just what they'd done to her. There were good within the Time Lords but there was a lot of bad too. "If you want me begging on my knees I'll do it." But there was no reply. There was nothing but silence from the crack in the wall while time was slipping further and further away from her. "I'll do anything."

She'd said she'd bargain with the devil if that was what it took. And a part of her feared that is exactly what she was doing. "Do you hear me?!" Rose pounded her fist against the wall. "I'll do anything!"

But there was no answer. Rose ground her teeth in anger and frustration as she let herself sink to the floor, her body too tired to hold herself up anymore, her heart too heavy, the weight of it all too much. This had been her last chance. Her only chance. If they wouldn't help she didn't know what else to do.

"Bad wolf."

Rose started, turning her head in shock. There in front of her stood a man in long red robes, the edges of the robe stitched with gold. She instantly knew him. Rassilon. Or a projection of him at least, judging by the way he kept flickering.

"That is not my name," Rose said. Rassilon looked confused about that for a moment.

"Is it not the name you chose?" he asked as though he couldn't understand why she'd have an aversion for it.

"Yes, but not the one I was given," Rose told him.

"You prefer that of the flower instead of the beast?" Rassilon asked, his eyes sharp and assessing. Rose was reminded that though Rassilon might have been mad the last time she's seen him and what he'd done to Omega was proof that he was ruthless, he was also intelligent.

Rose let the fire enter her eyes, for a moment seeing everything through the energy of the time vortex. The strings of time winding around every living thing. The strings around Rassilon seemed endless and impossibly intricate. Just looking at it gave her a headache. One that, for the moment she ignored.

"I suppose I'm a bit of both," Rose said. Rassilon watched her. Though she knew the power of the vortex swirled in her eyes she saw no fear nor surprise in his. Rassilon gave her a nod, and Rose drew back, struggling for a moment to lock the energy back down. It had been mostly for show. Letting go of her control while she wore the bracelet was likely to hurt her far more than him.

"Well then, Rose Tyler," Rassilon said with an expression that was something between curiosity and glee. "What might we do for you?"


End file.
